Déjà vu

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Hey, imagine that. Two millennials doing a podcast
to avoid legalizing The Purge. Yeah, probably because they
can't afford therapy. This is mostly true.
Opinions. Hi.
Whoa. I am a Cameron.
That's KDK Comedy. Did you forget who you were for

(00:21):
a second? Yep.
We're coming to you from a different location from Culver
Studios. Wow.
Wow. Have we been picked up by Amazon
Music? Not technically well.
Who has you know? We are available on Amazon
Music. Technically, we're available on
all of them. Yeah, all of the things.

(00:42):
I just mean we're just recordinghere because we don't have a
house. We are homeless.
No. We do not.
I mean, currently we don't we're.
Living with my mom that's not homeless.
True. We have a roof over our heads.
We do not have a home that is ours.
Yes, Soon, though. Soon.
Very soon. Because we put in an offer and

(01:07):
it got accepted. I thought I had like a see, I'm
using a different board too. I have a oh, here we go.
Here we go. It was crazy and also we're
really lucky because we had not put in other offers and I feel
like it is insane for our first offer to actually get accepted.

(01:33):
It's very stressful. To be clear, we went back and
forth three times with counter offers.
So when I say first offer, it wasn't like they were just their
socks were so blown off. No with our offer that they
accepted it on the spot. Selling the house has been so
stressful. Buying a house equally as
stressful it like for some reason everything comes down to

(01:56):
the wire all the time. And when you think you're done
signing Docusigns, you fucking idiot, you have 20 more.
What? No.
Are you done with DocuSign? Nope.
Did you read everything DocuSignsent you?
Definitely. Sure, what?
Absolutely. I mean, at a certain point you

(02:17):
just have to throw your hands upand trust the people putting it
together, no? Yeah.
And again, acknowledging the privilege that we can sell and
buy a house in Los Angeles, we are very aware that we're
privileged to be in the situation we're in.
Does not make my blood pressure any lower, though the privilege
to do this doesn't make it less stressful.

(02:38):
It's not for the faint of heart.We had multiple competitors that
also made offers for the same house.
Obviously the market is insane and two of which verbally
offered $25,000 more than we arevery top dollar like we define

(03:02):
to ourselves our ceiling. We went up three times,
encounter offers. We hit our ceiling and we said
not a penny more than this, not doing it, not a penny, not a
nickel, not a dime, not 1/4 morethan this and verbally.
Two other people offered hella more money and then the agent

(03:26):
said of the home that we bought.The verbal offers won't answer
their phones timely. They won't send in the written
offer in a timely manner. We've been going back and forth
with counter offers for 48 hours.
We're no longer interested in waiting and we told them if we

(03:47):
don't hear back by 12:30, we're giving it to you like we're
going with your offer. And our agent tells us this
information at 11:45 AM that if they don't hear back by 12:30,
we get the house. So I spent the next 45 minutes

(04:10):
obviously. So chill and Zen.
Not Nope. I locked myself in a padded
room, actually. Literally, because I was at your
work and I was in a room called the Quiet Room with no windows.
What you didn't know is I put that sign on that door for you.

(04:33):
And literally watch the seconds tick by.
It was very unhealthy. I wasn't doing well.
It was stressful, very stressful.
I gotta hand it to the agent though.
They stuck to the deadline. They stuck to their word and at
12:32 our agent called us and wegot the.
Fucking house. We got it.
Holy shit. Hallelujah.
Hallelujah. Hallelujah.

(04:58):
So right now we are displaced for the pod, but soon as in
first week of May, we might haveAI mean it'll take a second to
decorate things. No, that's the best part.
Decorating. Yeah, yeah.
But I'm just saying our podcast background will look different

(05:18):
and hopefully cooler soon. Yeah, I'm hoping so.
That could be good. I do like that part of the
movie, though. I was thinking of that today.
Like we're getting so close to the move in.
That's so that's the most fun, 'cause you get to pat, unpack
things and put them like in new places and decide like, well, at
this house we're going to do this system and this, you know,

(05:42):
this picture that used to be in our bathroom is going to be in
this room in this house. I find that stuff like, super
fun. I like getting rid of everything
and starting anew. I like getting rid of stuff too.
Yeah. But yeah, no, I'm excited.
OK. So we did the pods thing I think
we talked about. A pod like for storage and

(06:04):
moving. Yeah, pod storage.
Cause for some reason when you said the pods thing it sounds
like love is blind pods. I don't.
Know, I mean, it could be we could do that too.
We can figure out a way to do that.
But we did that instead of a mover this time instead of doing
a U-Haul ourselves, because I think we've shared the story on

(06:25):
the podcast before. But a couple years ago, when we
moved, it was the last time doing it ourselves, because
there was a moment where we werein a stairwell holding a
refrigerator, just the two of us.
It was 110° out that day. We were sweating so much the
refrigerator was slipping in ourhands.

(06:46):
And then we almost dropped it and you almost smashed.
Me and I almost dropped a refrigerator on my wife then
girlfriend, which I got to thinkthat would have been a deal
breaker if I had dropped a Whirlpool refrigerator on your
face. What a harsh the vibe.
That was the last moment though.And so you know even at the even
to the extent that I think now we've fully agreed that it would

(07:08):
be if we had no money, it would still be worth taking out debt
for a mover. I think if you can buy a house,
you can buy movers. I think so, so.
'Cause the 300 bucks shouldn't be your make or break.
No, but this time we did the pod, which they deliver it to
your house, You pack it, it's like a cube, and then they take
it away and then when you're found a new place or whatever,

(07:29):
they bring it to that place and you unpack it there.
In. Theory.
Delightful in theory. Works out great.
Never been a better system. We booked it together.
You heard them. They were on speakerphone.
There's a small, medium and large, yeah.
He asked us about our home. He said how many bedrooms?
How many bathrooms, How many square feet?
What type of items are you moving?

(07:50):
Are you moving appliances? We said no appliances and no
living room because we're not moving our living room items.
We hate them, right? And we aren't moving appliances
because they come with the housefor the new owner.
We also don't have a guest bed anymore.
We just have desks and a treadmill.
We specified these things, yeah,he said.

(08:14):
The medium one should be great for you.
Totally fine. He said it would literally be
perfect. Yep, it was not his words.
It was too small. They dropped it off.
You saw it? I was out of town.
You said it's too small. Yeah, I said.
I don't know, honey. Maybe it's deceiving.

(08:34):
Maybe the pod loaders are going to Tetris our shit so hard.
It'll be fine. Then my uncle said we have a
four bedroom house that fit in alarge pod and when it showed up
we thought it's too small. Then all of our stuff magically
fit. Don't stress.
I told you that they the movers arrived and all of our stuff did

(09:00):
not fit. I will say more of it fit than I
thought would fit in there I'll be.
When the when the guy pulled up with the truck and this thing
was on the back of it, I immediately was like, oh shit, I
I asked him if it was the right size.
I thought he delivered the wrongone.

(09:21):
Yeah. And I go, Oh no, we ordered the
medium. Did he say like, oh, how big is
your house? Like, no, He just was like,
yeah, this is the medium. He had no idea.
He almost. I didn't even tell you this part
of the story. You should look up, if you're
unfamiliar how they offload these things off a truck.
There's like, this weird frame that's on wheels that lifts it

(09:44):
up and does a whole thing, and it, like, hangs.
It's suspended on chains. And then these wheels are just,
like, Wheeling it around withouta truck.
Yeah, very unruly. He definitely was on a part of
the street that was leaning to the right, and the thing almost
fell into somebody else's house.And then he was parking it in

(10:09):
the parking spot and he almost wiped a car with it that we do
not own. And so the whole thing I was
like, OK, OK, OK. OK.
OK. All right.
They picked it up today while weweren't there and I'm just kind
of like, fingers crossed. Yeah, I tried not to think about
that. Yeah, but great.
Good to know he didn't know anything.

(10:31):
Then the movers, loaders, whatever you want to call them,
arrived and it's two dudes. You know, one of them is the
size of an 8 year old and I'm not being facetious.
He was tiny. I thought it was a man and his
son. I thought his son was shadowing
him for the day. Turns out upon like, further
inspection of this adult man, hewas just a very small man.

(10:54):
Yeah. And it's not like one of those
small men that has, like, you know, that body builds to
compensate for their smallness. Like a low center of gravity
works in your favor type of thing.
He, like, could barely pick up one box.
Yeah. And I was like, am I stronger
than this man? Like, I was like, great.
Then they started to lift stuff together and they were like

(11:16):
banging our walls, bashing our walls with stuff.
And I was like, hey guys, if youcould not do that, like we just
sold the house and they need to do the final walkthrough and not
have gashes all up and down our walls.
The thing is, when you move something, yes, technically you
might be able to get it out without taking it apart.

(11:36):
Sure. Like the bed frame.
What? There's a certain point at which
you just got to go. It's not worth it.
Yeah, and just take it apart. Oh, we left out the fact that so
the pot is too small, the men are small, and it's pouring
fucking rain. Yeah, that was a fun addition to
the day. So all of our stuff is getting

(11:57):
drenched and then put into a boxfor weeks, wet and damp.
So then I'm out there in the rain rubbing it down with towels
trying to dry things sort of in vain because then they kept the
guys. Seemed like they had never
loaded a pod before. I thought I was like, is this
your first week on the job? Because they kept miss loading.

(12:19):
It then would come out with a different shaped item and have
to reload it. So then they would take the item
I just dried and put it back outin the rain.
They were very unaware of the fact water was falling from the
sky. It was not going well and I was
about to light myself on fire. Well, the good thing is that
cardboard is really water resistant.

(12:41):
Oh wait, so there's a chance that all of our stuff is going
to be mildewed and disgusting and I might just want to light
the whole pot on fire. That's right.
They they have some sort of insurance policy, right?
At one point, I don't fucking know.
Or maybe they'll deliver us the wrong one.
That would be. Fingers crossed like storage
wars. And then we get to take

(13:01):
everything out and determine whether or not we want to say
something based on the quality of contents inside.
Right. If it's shittier than ours, then
we're like definitely raising hell.
But if it's, we open it up and it's like a, you know, Pottery
Barn sofa. Oh hell.
Yeah, Hell yeah. I was very close to giving up at
multiple points throughout the process.

(13:23):
Yeah, we are still not done because we still have shit left
at our house that we still have to bring to my mom's.
We still have stuff we have to get rid of, and because it was
raining, everyone's wet, rainy ass fucking shoes.
We're trampling through every square foot of our home.

(13:44):
I think that's that was the bestpart.
So now I have to go deep clean it for their final walkthrough
on Thursday. To be clear, you're hearing us
come to you on a Monday, so luckily there's a few days.
But it's not like I have anything to do in those few
days. Oh wait, full time job and

(14:06):
traveling to Wisconsin. For but for sport, right?
Oh no. OK for more.
Work. I thought you were doing a
little vacation. So anyways, really struggling,
really struggling to find the sparkle in my eye this week.
I mean, the Sparkle is our new house.
Totally, you know. Yes, the finish line just feels

(14:29):
really far away. I get that.
Because there's so much that hasto get done before that, and all
of our stuff is just like, in shambles.
I feel like that's the way I have been every time I've moved.
No, we've had much more organization.
We've moved together how many times.
We've had much more organizationwhere everything's in a box,

(14:50):
everything's in one truck, and then we unload it and we're
done. Yeah, but I feel like we always
have to do. Or at least I I feel like I
always have to do every single time I've moved with you and
without you. Like every time.
I feel like this is going to be the last trip, you know?
And then it's like, Oh no, it's definitely not.

(15:11):
Sure. I feel like that's semi
preventable and yet there's justrandom shit left out.
So it's tough. Yeah.
Yeah. What are you grabbing?
A tissue. Thank you for commenting on it.
I didn't know if you were grabbing a cigarette or
something. I've.

(15:32):
Been a long week. At this point, I'm going to take
up smoking. OK, I have a question.
Good thing you drank water. After you said I have a
question, I have a question. Pause.
Nobody knew I was drinking wateruntil we called it out.

(15:55):
But then you just didn't speak. I was going to.
OK. Anyway, anyway, did you see
Courtney Love's comment about Taylor Swift?
No. Who is Courtney Love?
I'll let the Internet decide on that one I have.
I know the name, but I don't really know what she a singer

(16:19):
and guitarist. I don't really know.
She is 60 years old and she was in a couple random bands and you
know some. She has some level of notoriety
anyhow. Sure, What's her comment?
Taylor Swift is not important and not interesting as an

(16:42):
artist. Has she considered killing
herself? Imagine being such a washed up
hag. Never seen her, don't know what
she looks like. Imagine being such a washed up
hag that society doesn't care about that you need to bring
someone else down who's literally taking over the world

(17:02):
and is so talented and loving. I just don't understand.
Is the Internet ripping her to shreds or does she not have
social media because she's 60? No, she I so I don't know if she
has such shows. Jesus.
I don't know if she has social media, but she did this in an
interview with some newspaper where she also shit on a bunch
of other artists too. And what the fuck is her

(17:24):
problem? My question is like, what do you
have to get right? What is?
What is the point? If you and Taylor Swift had
beers of beef, then OK, but justlike you're in an interview
about something else entirely. Well, she wants to garner
relevance because she can't be this stupid that she thinks no

(17:44):
one will hear it. I don't know.
It's one of the stupidest thingsever.
That's the. Definition of clout chasing
'cause you're mentioning other people's names to get more
attention in the headlines. Let me see if I can find the
thing that she said about everybody else.
Yeah, she said. Not interesting or important.
Did. She have any points to back that
statement up? It was just from what I know.

(18:07):
It's just like she just ran through a list and just started
shitting on. People, what was the question
that elicited her to say that? That is my question exactly.
Was the interviewer not like what?
That's what I'm saying is like she it feels like it just came
out of left field for no reason.I think you're right about the

(18:28):
clout chasing thing, she said about Lana Del Rey.
She should really take seven years off.
What does that have to do with anything I?
Don't know. She took a shot at Beyoncé.
She took a shot at Madonna. OK, yeah, so she's just picking
the most famous people on the face of the earth and shitting
on them for the headlines. I mean, it's smart.

(18:52):
But is it because you will instantly get called out on that
by everybody? Sure, this is her villain origin
story. She doesn't.
She clearly doesn't care how shegets the views and she's doing
it to get the views. Just so stupid.
What an idiot. I ask because you're a Swifty
and I think I'm a Swifty now, officially.
Good it took you long enough. I've been listening to Channel

(19:12):
13 on SiriusXM Taylor's version.It's all Taylor Swift music,
Good for you. I love it.
And it's old stuff and new stuff.
It's original versions. It's Taylor's versions.
I've been digging it. It should just be Taylor's
versions if the channel is called Taylor's version.
Maybe it is, ma'am. I could be wrong because some of

(19:35):
the like there are some songs where it's very easy to tell the
difference. I think on style it's very easy
to tell the difference. But there's somewhere you she
did a really good job. You can't tell the OG from the
new. Well, I kind of like the new
too. You can hear the difference in
her voice and stuff. So it's a more mature sounding
voice. I like most of it.

(19:56):
Yeah. But yeah, I think I'm an
officially a Swifty now. Good.
Welcome. It's not too late.
If you're listening and you're not one yet, you know you could
be. I kind of think it was from the
eclipse. What do you mean?
Becoming a Swifty. Do you want to elaborate on
that? Yeah, like the eclipse happened

(20:17):
and I feel like I had my awakening.
It all kind of happened at around the same time.
And then we watched that episodeof Loot, and somebody in the The
Loot Show became a Swifty aroundthe same time the Eclipse
happened. It all kind of is lining up, you
know? Are you saying the planets have
a conspiracy theory to make the whole world swifties?

(20:37):
A little bit? Are you saying Taylor Swift is
controlling the planets in orderto make everyone love her?
Yeah. Big claims.
And I also think she's not interested as an artist and not
important like Courtney Love. I don't know what could possess
someone to be so hateful, but OK.

(20:58):
You you sent me this TikTok about a couples quiz that we
should definitely look at in just a second, but really,
really fast. We posted a video last week
talking about holsters. Which is your new least favorite
word for me to say holster? You're saying you?
I think you just specifically toirritate me, just said it weird.
What? How?
What am I holding on to the L? Holster holster.

(21:25):
You make like a phlegm sound when you say it.
It's the same thing I do when I say milk.
I hate it. But I I don't know.
Stop. Putting your tongue on the top
of the back of the roof of your mouth.
But you want to go up to somebody with a speech
impediment and say stop it. So why are you doing it to me?
And hit him on the forehead. It's not a speech impediment,
honey. I'll.

(21:46):
Tell you what this is 12. You don't have an impediment.
This is 12 unhinged questions toask your partner.
But before we do that, what are 12 things you like about me?
Are you being serious? Stop.
You didn't start holster anyway.That was better holster.
I feel like the faster I say it,the better it gets.

(22:08):
What do you have to say about it?
What are you bringing back up about it?
So there is a guy that we both mutually know.
Yeah, Who commented on it. Our buddy John.
Your friend John. Ironic that you chose to just
refer to him as Buddy, considering last episode you
lost your mind about other people calling you Buddy.

(22:28):
I'm OK if somebody says this is my buddy Cameron, but not if
they address me as Buddy. What?
I know that's the line I draw you're.
Drawing the line in a real weirdplace.
You're drawing a weird line withholster.
I'm certainly not, but go on. I But that's true.

(22:49):
If somebody says this is my buddy, I'm OK with it.
Anyway, he commented on it and referred to me as your Co host.
I did see that which he's met you so many times, and I can't
tell if he was doing it to be funny or if he genuinely can't
remember that I'm married to you.
But I just gave up. Did you know I didn't respond
'cause I just was like, what? I did, I saw that, but I it

(23:12):
makes me kind of want to find out.
You comment back then, so say what he say his comments or
whatever he. He said, here, I'll pull it up.
Sorry, my phone's on the camera.Let me pull it up here.
It just threw me off because I literally have met this guy

(23:36):
probably 20 times or I've interacted with him like
probably I've been to his house.You've Yeah, We've been to his
house and he helped record my comedy album and you guys worked
very closely together, helping set stuff up for the album
recording. And I've talked about you
countless times. To him, we've eaten a meal

(23:57):
together. He said your your Co host
wearing a holster for his yo-yo.He says it was when he was a
child, but come on, look at him.You know, he was in high school.
Like he was trying to make it belike a sick burn.
Right. And but a sick burn specifically
to me because, like it's like kind of funny.
Oh, it's so I know it's you or like legitimately has no idea

(24:20):
who I am, thinks that I am your separate Co host a different
third person. I can't figure it out.
It's unclear. But my question is, I'm happy to
comment back. What do I comment back in order
to solicit the answer, you know,Yeah, I'll think about it.

(24:40):
I just, that's what I was going to say is I couldn't even think
of something to respond back that was like LOL, you know?
Yeah, I don't know. Anyway, it's one of the weirdest
things when people like. It was weird, yeah.
You One of the weirdest things as an adult is when you
encounter people that you've meta million times.

(25:02):
And they just don't remember. And you totally clock that.
They have no idea who you are. Yeah, and that you've had the
same conversation, in fact, a dozen times.
I mean, you didn't have a bond with him necessarily.
You've you're the most acquaintances, even though
you've met so many times, workedclosely together on with my
comedy album, shared a meal, went to his home.

(25:26):
You know you're very the most acquaintances of acquaintances.
I'm kind of thinking. You wouldn't classify him as a
friend. No, I wouldn't.
Or. A buddy.
No, certainly not a buddy. I'm kind of thinking, like, my
new thing to do in this situation is invent, reinvent

(25:47):
myself every time I have to repeat a conversation.
So like, if somebody says, oh, who are you?
And I say, oh, I'm Cameron, I'm Katie's husband.
I'm going to change my name every time.
I'm. I'm Marcus.
I'm Katie's husband. But you're just going to make it
weirder and more confusing. I know, but with the right
people, that might be kind of fun.
You know what I'm saying? No.

(26:07):
OK, OK. Anyway, the thing you sent me
from therapy. Jeff, who I believe we've played
audio from before. No.
Yep, this guy's all over TikTok.He's, well, slightly unhinged.
Questions to ask your partner that will make both of you feel
super awkward, OK? Also, whenever I looked him up

(26:29):
to find the audio again, the other search was therapy Jeff
controversy, so I'm not totally sure if he's well respected or
not. Did he get cancelled?
I don't know. Therapy, Jeff.
Therapy, Jeff. Because what if he's not a real
therapist? You know what I mean?
Oh, he's definitely not. You think?
Yeah, he's definitely not. OK.
There's no way. There's a lot of people.

(26:49):
There's like people who call themselves Doctor Whatever to
try. To on TikTok.
Sound like a therapist. And they're like a doctor of
business, but they make it. But now they're doing life
coaching, so it makes it seem like, oh, they're probably a
therapist. And it's like, Nope, no, but I
don't know anything about therapy, Jeff.
So let's give him the benefit ofthe doubt.
Yeah, but if you've seen his controversy that we haven't
seen, sorry, I don't know. But it's, yeah, 12 questions to

(27:14):
make your to ask your partner tomake them feel awkward, unhinged
questions. Unhinged shall we?
I think we can do it. I doubt it's going to make us
feel that awkward. I would hope not.
We get slightly unhinged questions to ask your partner
that'll make both of you feel super awkward.
Super. One, imagine a situation where
someone offered you money to go no contact with me for three

(27:34):
months. What would be the minimum amount
that can make you seriously consider it?
OK. That's a good question.
K No contact for three months. Lock in your figure, it will say
no commentary. Act for three months, yeah. 1-2
three $200,000 A $100,000 Honey Ouch.

(27:59):
I was going like 33,000 a month,like $1000 a day.
I. Know with 100 / 3 what?
I. Was going 250,000, I was going 7
whatever that is a month seven. What is it 75?
No, almost 70. Let's say $80,000 a month, 77

(28:21):
1/2 or something like that. OK.
Wow, 100,100 thousand. Dollars is a lot of money.
It is a lot of money, but it's also a lot of time away from me.
250 to 100,000. Interesting.
OK. And I feel like.
The time would fly by and then we'd have $100,000.
I mean, yeah, I would like $100,000, but you think it's not

(28:47):
like I'm apart for you of of from you for three months.
It's no contact. OK, so you're saying it's way
more serious. Yeah.
And I'm not saying you're wrong,you're entitled to your dollar
amount, but it is. That would be the craziest thing
for us to go incommunicado for three months.
We have talked every day for like 8 years.
Yes. So it would be the biggest

(29:08):
adjustment. Now, that being said, it's a
good question to ask because youmight be going away this summer
for a potential reality show. But that would be 6 to 8 weeks.
It's still a long time I thoughtabout.
This, yeah. Question 2.
Two, Hypothetically, if I confess that I had cheated on
you one time right after we defined our relationship, but it

(29:32):
never happened again, would you stay with me?
God, So what? What was it?
If if I confessed, I cheated on you right after we defined our
relationship, but it never happened again.
So right after we became boyfriend and girlfriend.

(29:52):
Would you stay with me? Yeah.
I think so. Really.
I think so. OK.
You. Absolutely not.
Yeah, and I and I don't blame you for that answer.
Sure, OK, it didn't happen again.
But what else happened? And what else are you a dirty
fucking liar about? But.

(30:13):
Yeah, I mean, it would definitely plant the seed of
doubt. For sure.
But I I think my the the place Iwould go is like oh maybe she
misunderstood when we. The boyfriend?
Girlfriend. Because.
Because that conversation now islike not simple for people to
have because they're like, we'reexclusive, but we're not
boyfriend and girlfriend. Yeah, we are not seeing other

(30:34):
people. I feel like we're not tied down,
right? Ours was pretty official though.
Yeah, it was. So I don't think there would be
anything confusing. Sure, if you were like.
I mean, I guess that's. A good if it was during the
period of time where we hadn't talked about it, we were just
exclusively dating each other. But without really like saying
it, Sure. You know what?

(30:56):
Now that I'm thinking about it more, no, I couldn't.
Do it. I'm a goner.
Yeah, I. Couldn't do it because you're
right. Like I was thinking about it
through the lens of like hypotheticalness.
And I not that. I mean, it obviously didn't
happen. It's still hypothetical.
But yeah, I'm the. OK, OJ Simpson.
But I'm now that I'm reframing it as like specifically our

(31:16):
relationship. At the beginning we were very,
very clear. So with that in mind, no,
because my my head would immediately go to.
Oh well, that didn't take long. And I'd be more pissed that I
wasted eight years. Like I'd be pissed off.
Oh, that would be the hardest part, right?

(31:37):
That would be the hardest part. There was somebody in the news
recently who I think it's Kate Hudson's brother, who's also a
actor told his said that he cheated on his wife when they
were engaged. Told her like several years into
marriage and was like, I feel good about it, about telling her

(32:02):
I don't regret it, I don't regret telling her and I don't
regret doing it because I learned a lot from it.
It's like right? The.
Way I would you can regret it and also have learned.
First of all, telling her. Second.
First of all, doing it. Second of all, telling her way
after the fact, after you duped her, you duped her into marrying

(32:24):
you. You knew you had cheated.
She signed the papers. Then you told her and feel no
regret. There's no way I would go no
contact and dump that bitch. Oh my God.
Oh. My God, yeah.
Speak real quick before the nextone.
I've been doing shows this week and OJ Simpson died and everyone

(32:45):
has a new like, OJ joke about because he died And an audience
remember like the comic at one of my shows was like, how are we
feeling about OJ dying? And some people like, applauded
and then one guy was like, it was a human being that died.
Why are we applaud? Like an audience member got
upset and I was like, are you fucking high, bro?

(33:08):
A vicious murderer that stabbed and like, diced up a couple
people, finally, finally, like, whatever, what is it, 30 years
later was brought to just like 30 years later.
Not even brought to justice 'cause he got to have a life.
So that sucks. Right.
He just died. He's just done.

(33:29):
But it's like finally he fuckingdied.
Like, couldn't have happened soon enough.
And you're worried that a couplepeople applauded?
Fuck off Like I was like, well, it was in Arizona, so fucking,
of course, But it was just this weird moment where it's like a
human being died. Yeah, A murderer died, bruh.

(33:50):
Yeah. What about the human being that
he caused to die? And then I keep TikTok.
I keep seeing clips of his old interviews where he's laughing
about it, like where he's physically giggling while being
interviewed about the murder. So even if even if you're a
fucking OJ apologist and you don't think he did it, it
doesn't matter, He's giggling about a murder.

(34:12):
There is a thing in the radio community where anytime a
celebrity dies, people post their photo with that celebrity
and. It's not just the radio
community. But there's a specific account
that, like, calls out radio people every time they do this,
because radio stations will alsobe like Rest in Peace the Queen

(34:34):
and put their station logo on that graphic.
And it's like, OK, well you're just trying to get brand
identity from a death. Did everyone post their OJ
photo? There were people posting OJ
photos. Oh my God.
Like. It's like, OK, did we not see
what happened? All right, ready for question
#3? Yeah.
Three. I think Jeannie offered you 3
wishes, but there was a 5% chance I would disappear from

(34:57):
your life forever. Would you accept those 3 wishes?
No. No, no, no.
I'm having major deja vu. Have we answered these before?
We might have. Maybe this is the other time
we've listened to therapy, Jeff.Therapy.
Therapy Jeff, I don't know. But if we have, it's been long

(35:19):
enough ago that maybe our answers have changed.
Interesting. Interesting, huh?
I'm pretty sure. What did we give?
The same answer. The the no contact money
question, don't you kind of remember that us saying an
answer and my answer being lowerlast time too?

(35:39):
No, but that makes sense. OK, wait, I can't tell if it's
the eclipse and I'm just having major deja vu or if we have
previously. Done this, let's mow through
them and then we'll be able to tell, OK, OK.
That being said on that. One, I'm so sorry if we have.

(36:00):
I'm so sorry. No, nobody cares.
I mean, the people listening to this right now don't remember
our answers from 18 months ago. It's fine, you know.
Sorry. OK.
That's even if we did it, which maybe we didn't, but we
definitely probably did. I'm so.
Scared that that question specifically, 5% chance of
disappearing. Whatever I would do that, I
might do that together. Like if we could hold hands and

(36:25):
make 3 wishes together, but there was a 5% chance that we
both disappear. A thought like Russian Roulette
of us just be just disappearing.Yeah, but at least we go out on
top or not on top together, you know?
I don't think so. That's crazy.
I. Don't know, It's pretty good
odds. OK.
OK. Well, just saying, is there

(36:46):
hypotheticals that we've alreadydone?
Let's do questions. Now, or if you learned that I've
been hired to date you as part of a, we have.
Definitely done this. Social experiment where very hot
people dated complete losers like you.
Remember that question? Would you be able to forgive me?
Are you sure? Yeah, I remember that question
specifically. I'm so sorry.

(37:09):
Well, how do you answer that one?
We'll just mow through em. OK, if you were part of a social
experiment to date me. To date a loser to.
Date. I don't know.
I'd feel deceived. I mean, you would, you know, I
would feel deceived, but also I'd be like, oh, there was a
reason I needed the program, youknow?

(37:33):
That's so sad. You'd be like, well, at least I
won you over. You're happy with me?
Who cares? I think all this falls under
lying, though. It'd be like you're a dirty
liar, you dirty whore. Question 5 If you found out that
our first meeting was not a chance encounter but was
actually arranged by me, how would you react?

(37:55):
I don't know how that. That's a Taylor Swift.
I think I said this before. What situation is?
That it's the Taylor Swift mastermind where, like, I
arranged that we met like I liked you on social media or
something, and I pretended like we bumped into each other do.
People do that. Yeah.

(38:17):
How? Like they just figure out like,
oh, they like to go to this grocery store and like, they do
this on this day, or they go to this gym, like they start going
to the same gym or the same yogaclass and then say hi and
whatever. Like they arrange the meeting
and make it seem natural. Like a a forced meet.
Cute. Yeah.

(38:37):
Interesting. I think I would be like, damn,
OK. I'd be kind of like commitment.
I'd be impressed. Yeah, I'd be kind of flattered.
OK, like you're that obsessed with me.
Wow. Oh my God.
Six, You have a one time use time machine and you have to use
it to alter something in our relationship.
What are you going to alter What?
Are you going to alter? You have to use it to alter

(39:01):
something. In our relationship.
Specifically. Oh, I I think I remember.
What? I think I remember my answer
from less. Oh God, I would have gotten you
a Valentine's Day card. The. 10 That's so smart.
Good job. I'm pretty sure that's what I
answered last time too. OK, let's stop doing this.

(39:23):
You gonna you have to answer this one though.
I don't remember what I would say.
You just you don't have to remember your previous answer,
just. I know, but alter something in
our relationship? I don't know.
These are kind of dumb therapy, Jeff.

(39:45):
I like how it was my idea and I just like it crashed and burned
such as the whole week. Still haven't answered?
You're not answering that one. I don't know what I would alter.
I mean, I suppose that's a good thing.
Yeah, because I was going to say, oh, meet you sooner, but I
don't, I don't know because maybe the apartment managing

(40:12):
thing. Like you would like.
We wouldn't do that all together.
I mean, then we wouldn't have a house, right?
That was a shitty time, but it. Was a shitty time.
We got through it for a reason. I'd probably alter your last
job. OK.
That was tough. Valid.
That was tough on our relationship.

(40:33):
Valid. So I'd probably alter that.
What would you have me do instead?
Just the daytime version of that.
OK, not I think it'd be funny ifyou're like, I don't know,
manage a video store. No, not just not being
nocturnal. Yeah, that was hard.
That was tough. That was hard.
OK, that was a good answer. Yeah, I like that therapy, Jeff.

(40:55):
Thank you second time. It's been real and we'll
probably never see you again because I'm too afraid to click
on the same video again and think it's brand new.
I left Judy at home. Oh, shit.
In a box. Do you get it?
Let's shut your mouth, you dumb ass or whatever, she says.

(41:19):
I like it a lot better when she says it.
Noted. Oh, do you think we could leave
and sell our house and just go away and move without the HOA
being up our fucking assholes? Nope, of course not.
Of course the fucking HOA has tosend us off with fucking heart

(41:42):
attack and blood pressure problems.
Cool dope. So first of all, our HOA has
gone up. How many dollars since we moved
in? 200.
So like $200 a year or since we moved in, it's gone up.
What have they done with that extra $200?
I could never fucking tell ya. They've never once helped us

(42:06):
with anything. And then they sent us like an
angry letter about our ring doorbell.
Guess what? Our Ring doorbell has been there
since before we moved in. It's not even ours.
It was the old owners. So thanks for that reprimanding
that we have a Ring doorbell. You fucking idiots.
Like, look around the neighborhood.
Every single house has a Ring doorbell.
Well, now they've struck again. They sent us a fucking letter

(42:27):
with a photo of our for Sale sign.
Our for Sale sign is stuck in our front Bush up for our house
on our property but. The same place we put Christmas
lights. The same place everyone else
puts their fucking shit. The same place that the grandmas
in the neighborhood put their Easter sign.
The same place people put their welcome to my home sign.

(42:50):
Everyone else has tacky ass fucking signs and we can't put a
for sale sign for our fucking house, you idiots.
So then they sent us a picture that said needs to be removed
within 15 days and you left it up specifically as a fuck you to
the HOA then. Try me.
I emailed the HOA to be like, hey, there was like a mini leak

(43:13):
in the roof during the rain and there's they take care of the
roof and we're selling the houseand we wanted to make sure
everything was attended to and there's not just an active leak.
So I emailed and the first time they could get someone out to
look at this leak was six weeks away.
AKA we won't even own the house anymore.

(43:34):
So good luck. A leak.
You're not gonna send someone for six weeks for a leak?
Cool. Glad we're paying you so much
per month. Then my very final straw, we
needed to put the God damn pod for our move in two guest
parking spaces. And they have threatened to tow

(43:55):
multiple friends in guest parking spaces, even though
they're guests, because. Well, you're not supposed to use
those spots. But there is no protocol for
emailing like, hey, this person's gonna be our guest
soon. No, it's guest parking spaces
for guests to park in. Yet they always threaten to tow
everyone. So we said, hey, we need to put

(44:17):
a pod in the two of the guest parking spaces.
Is there a protocol for how you'd like us to go about doing
that? They took five days to respond.
And then I said, hey, the pod's coming tomorrow.
We really need to know if there's protocol.
Yeah, Where are we at? Then they go, OK, it's fine, you
can put it there. OK.
I said, are you gonna put signs out saying they're reserved so

(44:38):
that no one else parks there? No.
Shouldn't be a problem. It's not up to us.
You can just either go stand in them or save them or park your
cars in them or whatever. I said if we park our cars in
guest parking, you threaten to tow them.
So which is it? So which fucking is it?
They literally emailed back. I don't know.
It's never been a problem. What?

(45:01):
No, we're not. No, we're not gonna put signs
and we're not gonna reserve it. Literally.
What do you do? Literally.
What are you doing? What are we even paying you for?
They're so fucking stupid. The dumbest.
We are moving to somewhere with no HOA, no stupid ass bored with
something stuck up their fuckingbutt holes.
Take our for sale sign and shoveit up your ass.

(45:22):
Judgement to the plate Dev. I'm so sick of them.
Literally, what does an HOA do? Them and our neighbors and
honestly, the pot, everything can just burn to the ground.
I'm done. They're the worst, been great.
And it's more frustrating when you talk to other people and
they're like, yeah, our HOA is like 10 bucks.

(45:44):
It's like what? And they have like a tennis
court and pickleball courts in apool and a lot of tub and yeah,
no, ours takes six weeks to attend to a literal roof leak.
That's their responsibility. It's.
Pointless. And got mad about us having a
Ring doorbell. Fuck off.
Ring your asshole. Well, we hope that you have a

(46:10):
good week. Listener.
Send us a message at most at your opinions.
If if you know what podcast we did therapy Jeff's questionnaire
in before, I would love to compare and contrast the
answers. I wonder if.
It was like like 10 episodes agoor something like not that far

(46:31):
away. Yeah, it was probably, I think
it was probably a year ago because this the time stamp on
this video is 2023. So he put it out about a year
ago and for whatever reason it like, yeah, but the Tik.
T.O.K algorithm is like weird, like it'll send you stuff out

(46:52):
months later. I know.
So that's what I'm saying. So like it's it's very
legitimate that you saw it recently and thought, oh, this
would be fun to do. But my thing is like last time
was it like I said 100,000 and you said 10?
I think I was. Or has the price gone down?

(47:13):
No, we did. The question of how long would
you or what number would you need to go without your phone
for a month. Right.
And I remember us having different answers on that too.
So I think my brain was like, Oh, well, that's what we
answered last, not the couple's one.
Right. But yeah, I would like to know

(47:33):
our different numbers from last time.
I think that'd be hilarious. And yeah, I always make fun of
you for your early onset Alzheimer's, but I have struck
this time. You just have late onset
Alzheimer's. Would you have remembered if I
didn't say something? I'll be honest with you.
I started remembering, but then didn't want to say anything.

(47:57):
No, there was not a sparkle of recognition in your eye.
It was a little bit because whenever you sent me the link, I
recognize therapy, Jeff, which is why I said before, we've, oh,
we've played something from him before.
It's fine. Oh, it's great Questions.

(48:20):
It's kind of. Like the thing that what Surface
does? Is it Vanity Fair?
Like when they interview Billie Eilish once a year and they ask
her the same questions? Oh, sure, you know.
I just think it's funny that this episode, to the listener,
it's kind of just like your grand your saddled grandparents
telling you the same stories every time they see you.

(48:42):
People love their grandparents. Subscribe to Mostly True
Opinions on iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen
to podcasts.