Skyline Chili...Its Whats For Dinner

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Hey, imagine that, Two millennials doing a podcast to
avoid legalizing the purge. Yeah, probably because they
can't afford therapy. This is mostly true opinions.
Why? Hello there it is mostly true
opinions. I'm Cameron.
That is KDK Comedy. Hi.

(00:22):
I know you hate this, but I'm going to say it anyways.
Life be life and oh God honey, life be life and it's enough.
You like it? No, we did a whole episode of
How I don't like. Was that on the list though,
that one life be life and or just that whole thing in

(00:42):
general? I don't remember math be math
and you like that's what it was.Yeah, that's the only one that's
acceptable. Welcome, welcome, welcome,
welcome KDK comedy fresh off of another trip, about to go into
another trip. Yeah, I was here.
About to go into another trip. I'm here for less than 12 hours

(01:04):
and we slept quickly, recording the pod and I'm packing and
leaving again. You know, I did think about
people give us a hard time for not having children.
Yeah, I want somebody to be withus this last two weeks.
And tell me how a child wouldn'thave died.

(01:27):
How it would have eaten, how it would have lived.
Now to be fair we do have the dogs and the cats and they are
being well taken care of and my mom yes is an Angel and she has
been assisting us with the pets so that the pets do not go
unattended. I have been thinking, because it
is allowed, that it's time for me to get one of our dogs at

(01:53):
least a badge to come into my workplace.
I feel like this is not really asolve because I can't bring both
of them. Yeah, but it, I don't know, make
me feel better for some reason. Do you think he would feel
better? No.
No, Yeah, so. Honestly, that's been the thing

(02:14):
that has prevented me from getting it up until this point.
I mean, I think it's worth trying because what if for some
reason he loves it and doesn't shake?
No, he'll shake. I want to try it for sure but
like I just imagine him being glued to me all day and in some
respect that would be fun. In other respects I don't know

(02:37):
how that would work, but basically the spawned out of a
conversation I had with the dogsabout pulling their weight.
God forbid. I think it's time that at least
one of them gets a job. They need to clock in.
To help support the household. Yeah, I.
Don't know. And then I thought maybe it
would be fun to get him like a little dog suit.

(03:01):
He go. Oh my God.
But at least a tie you should. Yeah, that's a good idea.
Just a tie because I do make. Those he's fine with collars, he
just doesn't like clothes. Get him a little tie and a
little name and then his name badge can go on it.
What does it say about me that in the last couple of weeks the
main type of video I've been served on TikTok has been dogs

(03:25):
doing silly things and the captions always something like
just watch this for five secondsand you'll feel better?
TikTok knows you need it. And it's right every time.
Yeah, it is right every time. You've been sending me stuff
that like 50 year old moms send people, you know?
Oh my God, yeah, I'm I It's so funny.

(03:46):
I was thinking the same thing. Like I think I'm if I really
think about what I watch, it's dog videos now and mom's cooking
and that's about it. You have the algorithm of like a
Midwest mom. Yeah, and I have to say, like, I
know we've talked about it a lot.
There's moms that I watched thatironically because they cook so

(04:10):
bad. But there's this one guy that
came up who's a single dad and he's killing it.
And I'm like, dude, you make me look bad.
Yeah, you know, I make podcasts for a living and I'm like, tired
as hell. You worked 14 hours or something
and are coming home and making your kids a gourmet meal.

(04:32):
I'm impressed. Yeah, but what is his?
Is he a chef? Like what city?
No, he's just like a regular guy.
And that's the thing, it doesn't, it's, it's not like
it's that crazy what he's making, but it's just always
like consistently good, you know?
Sure, we all have our strengths.Listen, we all have our

(04:52):
strengths. It's a very exciting week in
this household as the new grocery store down the street is
about to open. Hell yeah.
Sprout, Pew, Pew, Pew. And we're going to be gone for
the grand opening. I'm pissed.
They're doing all kinds of stuff.
They're giving away stuff. People are lining up at 7:00 AM,
six AM, whatever to get in thosedoors.

(05:14):
I'm so excited to see it. It sucks.
I'm not a big like this is how you know we're in our 30s but
but. For sure, for sure.
But you know what? I kind of like it.
Yeah. Some people are like, I'm
getting old. I'm like, no, I like it because
this means I'm enjoying the simple things like a grocery
store opening. I feel like I am somewhat well

(05:37):
adjusted if that's the case. Yeah, we we stay grounded, stay
humble, stay ready for sprouts. I do wish we were able to go to
like the first the day some store opening, grand opening
thing. I know I want to see them cut
the ribbon. I want to run through the doors.
I want to be like, I want to runin and and oh, this is I'm the

(05:58):
first one to open the freezer. I'm the first one to grab a bag
of chips off the shelf. I'm, I'm so pissed.
We're gone. You're gone.
I'm here. I know.
And then I also want to be the guy that like because you know,
they do. I don't think they're doing it
at this one, but they do all kinds of special promotions when
they open like a Chipotle for example where the 1st 10 people

(06:21):
get Chipotle for a year or. Something aren't they doing that
they're doing like the 1st 150 people get something.
A tote bag. Oh I'm sorry sprouts, we got
enough tote. Bags I don't.
Need another fucking tote, you know?
Yeah, tote bags are what, like coozies were in the 90s.
Yeah. First of all, how dare you

(06:41):
because my merch is koozies. I didn't say koozies are bad,
I'm just saying every place you went used to give away koozies.
I'm a little surprised you didn't plan your trip around the
opening of Sprouts. Not going to lie, I tried to.
I tried. I there were several optional
weekends ahead of me. There were attempts to make it a
different weekend and they failed.

(07:02):
This is the one that worked out,which is fine, but you know.
Well, I hope they know what you've sacrificed.
I'm going to tell them that. I'm going to make sure I mention
it daily. You made me leave the grocery
store. Grand opening you.
Know where I could be right now?No, that's fine.
We'll go when you're back and we'll run through the aisles.

(07:22):
I'll bring a ribbon, tie it around the front door, cut it
off open. Honestly, that would.
Redo the whole thing. That would be exhilarating.
I think it's a good idea, yeah. I agree, though.
Like I've always wanted to see abig, big pair of scissors.
Where do they get those? I don't, I don't think, I don't
know if they actually. Make.
Where do they get those? I don't know, it's a good

(07:43):
question. Can you order them on Amazon?
Can you? I think you can order one of
those big checks on Amazon, the master check, yeah.
So maybe you can order big giantscissors.
You got to be careful though because like it says in the
office, the big check is actually more expensive than the
money it sometimes. Yeah.
You know, like, oh, I've given $400.00 away.

(08:03):
Well, the big check is 300. I don't know.
I always saw it as a big check. Right.
Big check it is. Yeah, I, I am, I am bummed, but
it's OK. Always.
Next time, what if we went when we go and do the ribbon and
then, like, run around inside asif we think it's the first day?

(08:25):
Yeah. That's what I was just saying.
I like it Supermarket Sweep style too.
So like we said, you've been allover the place, you've been
travelling a lot. I am so happy you made it home
for this 12 hour period. Yeah.
Specifically when it comes to flying because it is a mess out

(08:48):
there. And it's always been a mess, but
right now these are like end of times.
It's weird. It's concerning.
Somebody I work with had to go to a wedding on the East Coast
this past weekend and she almostdid not make it back because she
was flying into New Jersey wherethey are losing planes

(09:10):
apparently. Yeah.
And there's all kinds of problems because there are fewer
air traffic controllers who would have seen this coming.
What? It's almost like they got fired.
You. It's almost like they got canned
out of nowhere for no good reason.
Then you ran into similar situations yesterday in Chicago

(09:34):
Midwest. Yeah, it's not just it's Denver,
Dallas, Chicago. It's all of like the connecting
cities that you do layovers in and they're all delayed as fuck.
Yeah. And they said specifically
whenever I went to the counter to be like, hey, can we connect
through a different city becausewe don't want to get home at
1:00 in the morning. We were supposed to get home at

(09:56):
8:50. Fucking what?
And they said, well, there are earlier flights, but they're all
grounded right now because of air traffic control delays.
There's not, it's not weather, it's not mechanical issues.
It's not other flights were running late before it.
So we just got behind today. No, it's because there's not

(10:19):
enough people to make sure that planes don't run into each other
and explode. And that's what you want, right?
You want not enough people doingthe job to cause delays.
And you also want the people that are rushing to work and,
you know, not paying attention. And also getting fucking what is
it called? Who's going to say staff

(10:41):
shingles because they're so stressed?
Because they're the only ones between life and death?
And passing those shingles on toothers because nobody's taking
vaccines anymore anyway. It's a mess, Yeah, and.
But I am glad that, like, the airport employees were being
honest with you, though. I'm telling you the the legit
reason, but apparently there's also a a shit ton of delays this

(11:05):
week because as of tomorrow, youcan no longer fly with a regular
driver's license. You have to have one of those
real IDs. Yeah, which we have had for a
while. And The thing is.
I forgot I had one because we got it so long ago.
Right. And I have talked to a
concerning amount of people. That don't know what it is.

(11:25):
That either don't know what it is, or are not getting one, or
haven't gotten one out of some sort of weird protest.
And I'm here to tell you, this was the most advertised thing on
planet Earth for. Years.
For Let, not only was it advertised for years, the
deadline was pushed about four times.

(11:46):
I can tell you who doesn't want to have one?
Who? My brother.
Oh. Yeah, I know that he doesn't
have one. There's several people that I've
run into at work that don't haveone I know.
Like I'll just use my passport. I'm pretty sure my brother's
license says he still lives in Reno.
Well, that I understand. It's a tax exemption situation,
I get that. Sure, sure, sure.

(12:09):
I it, it's man did I take for granted what these things were
like when everything was just running smoothly.
Yeah, yeah, I, I didn't love spending 12 hours in an airport
yesterday, but I am glad I got home.
Like at some point the lady at the gate was like, at least you

(12:29):
have a flight. She was like selling me on it.
And I'm like. That's where we're at, you know?
At least the flight exists because they were cancelling a
ton of them too. Or there were people that missed
their connection because their first flight got so delayed that
they missed the connection. This one was my second flight
got so delayed. So she's like, at least you have

(12:50):
a flight. And I'm like, OK, lady, I
appreciate the cell. Like, yeah.
Trying to. We're in the spin zone though.
But we both know what's going onhere.
Yeah, I was thinking like it was.
It was. I picked you up.
It was at 12:30 or something at the airport and it was insanely
packed. Sucks.

(13:13):
Yeah, some other. A ton of flights got in at the
same time at midnight, so then there was a ton of traffic.
It's insane anyways. How was so you went to Ohio and
Tennessee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Thoughts. Tennessee decent.
I mean I was there for again, 14hours so hard to tell, but it

(13:35):
did remind me a lot of Arkansas.It smelled like Arkansas, A lot
of trees. When you smelled it, were you
like? A little bit.
I mean, again, it seemed like you have to drive 35 minutes to
get to anything. So and then when you get there,
it's a Burger King, you know, sointeresting.

(13:59):
But the people were nice. The show was good.
Or was it like a few 100 people that came out to this thing?
And they were getting everyone free pizza and beer.
They were doing a pizza contest where every local business slash
chain. So it was like a mom and pop
versus Domino's. But they had yeah, everyone had
to vote with AQR code on their favorite local pizza and their

(14:22):
favorite chain pizza. Yeah, that.
Was. Yeah, yeah.
And then, Oh my. God or something like that.
So they were they gave me like awhole pizza and they were like,
have all this beer. And I was like, no, no, you
don't understand. I'm getting on a flight at 4:00
AM. Five AMI got to the airport at
4:00. I was like, I can't.

(14:42):
Possibly you get to the airport,the pizza is still hot.
Yeah, so Tennessee decent, you know?
Yeah, OK. Ohio.
Ohio. It rained the whole time.
It was great. It was gross.
I'm sure that helped. Yeah, it was cold.

(15:08):
What to say about Ohio Clevelandin specific?
It we looked up the top five things to do in Cleveland, we
did them all. Yikes.
Not. I isn't that kind of a thing
though. People normally kind of crap on
Cleveland. Or sure, it's the butt of a lot

(15:29):
of jokes. I didn't know that.
I don't think I like clocked that.
And then then, yeah, my friend that I was with did say like,
well, this is the butt of all the jokes and no, I get it.
And I was like, what? Yeah, I don't know.
Everything was closed. It was like, weirdly, it was
kind of like abandoned the wholedowntown area.

(15:50):
We went into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, but it was like 40
bucks, $40. Yeah.
And we walked in and it also didn't seem that great, like.
That seems steep for Cleveland. It does.
It does seem steep, like we walked in the conversion.
On that is like, that's like $100 in Cleveland.

(16:11):
Yeah, we walked in the lobby, wesaw some of the stuff, but like,
I don't need to pay 40 bucks to see someone's leather pants.
You know, that is The funny thing about music museums.
It's like there's not really a way to put the music on display.
Yeah. So you're just looking at what
people wore and, like, here's their guitar.
Yeah. And I don't really get as much

(16:31):
out of that as some other museums.
I Maybe if I were a musician, I would.
Maybe. But like, I think what would be
cool is if they had, and some ofthese probably exist, like in
Memphis or something, where you walk in and it's like an old
recording studio. Yeah.
And they show you how, like a song that you know and love came
together. That would be cool.

(16:53):
I guess we'll bring back Elvis from the dead, you know?
Yeah, God forbid. Do something.
So it was. It was interesting.
I did have my first five way chili.
They had a vegetarian version and I didn't realize what a five
way was. I thought Five Way was like a
place to eat and instead it was just chili, onions, cheddar

(17:22):
cheese on top of spaghetti. Yeah.
So it was like beans, chili, onions, cheese and spaghetti.
That's the five things making ita five way.
And it we went to like Skyline chili to get this.
And there you can get a three-way, four way, a five way.
You get a small, medium, large and you can get a little hoagie

(17:42):
on the side or a what is it called Coney.
A Coney like a hot. Dog yeah, little Coney OK on the
side and then they can put the chili on the Coney also what
I'm. Just laughing at you describing
hot dogs in Chile. I don't know why it's so.
Funny. And this place, first of all, I

(18:04):
was like, yeah, we got to do thething, eat the thing in the
town. What are they known for?
Five way chili, Let's go get it.And we went and it's like it was
OK. It wasn't life changing.
People were like, you got to getthat.
And I was like, OK, yeah. And so we go.

(18:26):
And it was like, yeah, it was a pile of cheese on some
spaghetti. Like I.
That's how most regional. You know.
Food things are. So then I was like, OK, yeah.
And I, you know, I made the server because she brought out a
bib and she was like, it's your first time here and oh, and you
got to get some to take home. And she was all exhilarated.

(18:48):
And I was like, for sure. And trying to make her feel
good. But then I was just like, I
don't get it. Also, this place was carpeted
and she kept every time someone the chili place was carpeted.
Yeah, yeah. And I'm just thinking like, how
many chilies have fallen on thiscarpet?
First of all, just hunks the chili.

(19:09):
And then every time someone so they serve the chili on these
tiny ass plates. I don't get it.
And they put a heaping handful mound like they palm this huge
mound of cheese on top like. Shredded cheese.
And then every time no one can eat the chili without cheese
falling off onto the table. Sure.

(19:30):
So every, without fail, every single table is going to have
shredded cheese shrapnel everywhere.
And then every time a booth got up, she would aggressively sweep
the cheese onto the carpet. And so then I look around this
establishment and there's the whole carpet just covered in
cheddar cheese pieces. What's the name of this place

(19:52):
again? Skyline Chili and then I then my
friend was like, Oh well, there's a vacuum over there, but
they wouldn't use the vacuum. Like the whole time we were
there they kept sweeping cheese onto the ground, but there was
no one sweeping with a broom or using the vacuum so.
It was just like piles. Of cheese on the ground of and

(20:14):
then people are stepping on the cheese.
So then the cheese is going moreinto the carpet.
And I was just getting so stressed.
And then I was picturing like, you know, that the only thing in
that hole in the vacuum is cheese.
It's for sure just a cheese vacuum.
It's just a cheese vacuum. It's all in there, all like
gross and balled up. And then I can you can see past

(20:37):
the counter into the quote UN quote kitchen and it basically
felt like we were in like a church potluck cafeteria
situation. I'm looking.
At it. And just as you said that.
And that could not be more accurate.
Yeah. And I see pictures of the carpet
and there's just cheese. You see cheese in the photos?

(20:59):
Yeah. So it was like they have these
warmers like a buffet warmer. Yeah, yeah.
And they have the Chilean one, then the onions, then and the
spaghetti and the cheese, right?And I shit you not, I was
looking back there and this guy's like straight palming the

(21:21):
spaghetti like he. Was he wearing gloves or
anything? Yes, but do you?
I wouldn't have. I would have thought like.
One of those spoons with the thegrabby spoons like the spoons
with teeth. Yeah, that you use to get
spaghetti, Yeah. And no, he just was grabbing

(21:43):
fistfuls of it to put it on plates to plate it for an order.
And I was like Oh my God, fuck. And then he hands it to the next
girl on the line and she palms the cheddar.
So it's just a bunch of Midwest fisting going on for this chili
plate, and this also has a bunch.
Of cheese festers around here. I have I'm, you know, messy bun

(22:06):
till the end of time. I wake up and it looks like I've
been in a blender. OK, but this girl had like a
messy bun like I have when I wake up where half the hair is
not even in it. Sure.
And so and no hairnet like she'sjust like out here, like rolled
out of bed then. So they're palm and all this
food. There's hair everywhere.

(22:28):
I don't know where those gloves have been.
You know when people put gloves on and they, they're like, I
have gloves on, but it's like they've been touching
everything. Yeah, that doesn't like.
It's not. You just have a second layer of
skin. Yeah.
And then there was like this counter, like a bar that you
could also technically eat at. Yeah, like, more like a diner

(22:48):
counter, right? Not really.
Not a bar. They don't serve alcohol.
And the employees, there was like 767 people working because
I also think it was there was a drive through what I don't know.
So there was like 6-7 people working and they, each employee

(23:12):
had bought food from somewhere else, like not the not their
Skyline chili right out outside,like delivery food or they
walked next door. I don't even know what we were
near. And it was all strewn open in
the process of being eaten on this, on this bar.

(23:33):
Like I can't explain to you how dirty and gross everyone's food.
It was like they all just like went out, got something and it
was open. They're eating chips at guac.
They're like, I'm like, this is so against health code.
Like you're straight up like eating in the kitchen basically
because they're standing in the kitchen, they're standing on the

(23:53):
kitchen side eating their food on the bar that people are
supposed to be able to sit at. That's so funny.
It was so funny. And then?
Gloves are off at this place. Well, technically on but.
We're going to Then my friend wanted to get 2 cans of this
chili to bring home to a friend that's from Cleveland.

(24:14):
Yeah, and they're like, well, you can get a four pack for
$16.00 or you could get a 2 pack, but he's like, holy shit,
that's kind of expensive. So we got a 2 pack.
He's like, how do, what do I, which one's better?
They serve it in packets or cans.
And she's like, oh, you know, I think packets are better, but
it's up to you. And he's like, well, how do you
make it? And she's like, well you boil 6

(24:36):
cups of water and then you put in the the powder or whatever
and then she's like and then youput in beef but you don't brown
it so you put in. Raw.
Beef, raw ground beef. I'm like, so you just boil raw

(24:57):
ground beef. I was like so happy I had the
vegetarian. Boiled.
Beef. I don't know if I said that
previously I had the vegetarian one.
I wasn't going to break being a pescetarian for this weird chili
and it was cool. They did offer it like it was on
the menu, so it wasn't like I had to be like, do you have

(25:19):
something went? Out.
I'm honestly I'm surprised I am too.
They're boiling beef in that place.
I thought I was just going to sit there and stare at him while
he ate it because I just didn't think it was going to happen.
But then so he gets his two cansto go.
We're paying for our meal at thecounter.
It's like Cracker Barrel. We where which we also went to
where you have to go up and pay at the end.

(25:40):
And this girl that's works thereis sitting at the bar again,
she's actively on the clock. She's just sitting there with
her feet up. Chilling.
And she's like, oh, did you likeit?
I've never had it. And I was like, what?
And she's like, yeah, I've worked here for a couple years,
but I've never had the chili. And I was like, are you serious?

(26:04):
Like what? How is that possible that
there's no? Way.
And then she's like, Oh yeah, but that's me, you know, I don't
eat a lot of things like. And then she started naming.
She just had her first hamburgerthis year.
To be clear, this girl is like 28.
She just had her first hamburgerthis year.

(26:27):
She never tried a hamburger or cheeseburger.
And then I was. And then she said she's still
never had. She eats.
I said, what do you eat? And she said she eats tacos,
corn dogs, chicken tenders. Like she eats like a kid, like

(26:47):
kids food. She eats what they serve at Six
Flags. Right.
And she said she's still never had like guac.
She's still never had like, I I think she was saying, I'm pretty
sure she said she's still never had pizza.
Oh, she said I've never had a salad.
And she said she's never tried ranch.

(27:10):
So she's like 28 years old and has never tried guacamole, ranch
salad pizza. This.
Poor girl's parents failed her. I know.
I'm like, are you fucking serious?
What do all of the things minus the ranch have in common that
she hasn't had? They're green.
I'm, oh, some of. I mean, yeah, the pizza is not

(27:32):
green. Everything she eats is brown.
Yeah, I mean, she eats like Lunchables basically or
whatever. It's crazy.
I just don't know. She also, I mean, she was a very
thin girl. Like, I mean, not like where you
should be concerned, but it was like, how are you just eating?
Chicken tenders to. Survive and you're not like 800

(27:54):
lbs. I was going to ask her if she
was one of the. 1000 LB sisters.Maybe your body just like adapts
at some point like it might. Be.
She would go into shock if she had a smoothie.
She probably would to some extent.
She's probably has like fruit allergies and stuff now because
she never has it. She, it's probably like her

(28:18):
thing causes so much or her dietcauses so much like stomach pain
from having so much fried stuff that she can only eat so much of
it. Maybe, you know, maybe.
No, I was that's. Crazy though, I cause normally
when you talk to somebody like that, they're like, I haven't
had sushi. I haven't had.
Sure. And like, well, it's caviar.

(28:38):
Yeah, that's fine. But you haven't had a hamburger.
Yeah, also in Ohio. Right.
Is there anything else to eat inOhio?
No, everywhere we went that was the almost the only thing on the
menu. That's why I I was.
Stunned. And then it's like, OK, so you
haven't had a hamburger, you haven't had a ranch, whatever.

(28:59):
You haven't had that chili that's 5 feet from you that you
serve to people every day for two years.
Even if you're not into chili, you're smelling it all day.
You're head of a hungry day. It's there, right?
You haven't had it. Like there's something mental
going on there, no? For sure there has to be.
Some sort of mental issue? God.

(29:19):
And her Co worker was like making eye contact with me and I
was like for real. Do you think she was pranking?
No, it was too weird. To bring up why would you do
that? It is, yeah.
It's too. That's hard to believe though.
That is so hard to believe by the way, I looked up.
Oh, sorry, go ahead. Does it have to do with chili?
It does. Go ahead.
I was going to say I looked it up.
They sell it on Amazon. So why your friend?

(29:41):
Yeah, that's what I was going tosay.
Travelled with. It doesn't make any.
Sense. There goes the punchline.
What I well, you. Said he bought it.
Yeah, but then I we went to the freaking airport and we both
have only a carry on and we haveTSA pre-check.
We're going through his bag, gets flagged and I'm like, Oh

(30:06):
yeah, you fucking idiot, you have two cans of chili in your
shit and he's like, what? It's not a liquid, It's sealed.
And I was like, yeah, but you can't bring peanut butter.
You can't bring sealed peanut butter on a plane.
That's not really a liquid. He didn't think it was a liquid.
It's. Not a liquid, it's sealed.

(30:26):
It's definitely a liquid. It's liquidy.
It's it's viscous, yeah. Yeah, and it's doesn't matter if
something's sealed, you still can't bring.
It the law still applies. They don't let you bring a
sealed water bottle. Because you could open it.
Right. And it could be a bomb anyways.
So they flag his bag, they take out the chili, and they were

(30:50):
like, yeah, so we either have tothrow this out or you have to go
back out of security and check your bag.
And the motherfucker chose to goback out of security and check
his bag. I gave him so much shit.
I started like peeing myself laughing.
Yes, we had plenty of time till our flight.
It was totally like, it wasn't down to the minute or anything,

(31:10):
but it was just so fucking funnyto me that it was worth these
like this $8 of canned chili to,to like go.
And yes, I literally got DMS 'cause I made a video about it
happening and I got DMS of people being like, it's on
Amazon or like you can get that at Target or?
Like I think they sell it at Walmart.

(31:32):
Yeah, it's so funny. Like he didn't need to fly it
from Cleveland as like some special canned thing.
He didn't get it. To be fair he got it as a gift
and not like for himself to keepeating but so in that respect
like good on him but it's just so silly.
Also it's just silly to me he thought he was going to get 2

(31:52):
cans of chili through like OK Sir.
Also, who's the poor person getting the gift?
Why it's? Canned chili.
Yeah, but it's not it's room temp when they sell it to you,
no. I'm not, I'm not talking about
from like a safety perspective. I mean, I feel like it's a.

(32:14):
It's. Someone that it's someone at his
job that's from. Cleveland, that was like, you
got to get it. That makes more sense.
Yeah, yeah. So I don't know, I it's
interesting. We tried to fly.
So PSA if you ever try, if you're hey, if you're ever
thinking about flying with chili, don't do it.

(32:35):
You can't do it. Check your bag.
You can put it in checked luggage.
That's fine. They're fine with chili in the
belly of the plane, just not up top.
So ridiculous. Yeah, if you want to, if you
want to eat it, you got to be inthe belly.
The only thing that would have made that story even better is
if he paid for the check bag. But you guys were flying
Southwest. Thank God, I don't think he

(32:56):
would have done. I don't think he would have
thrown it out before paying for that for.
Sure, I think he does have some standards.
Yeah, totally. God, I this place, I you know,
you described it perfectly. Thank you.
If you look really look it up inyou have to look up like a Yelp
location of it because obviouslythey sell it places.

(33:16):
I feel like a lot of people thataren't us have been to a Skyline
Chili. Probably, probably, but maybe
not. I don't know.
And but the church cafeteria comparison could not be more
accurate. Yeah.
It's so accurate. Here's the thing though.
Growing up I loved this kind of chili.

(33:37):
Like I went to Steak and Shake and got chili with the crackers
and they, yeah, they still sell.Oyster crackers, yeah.
Do they still sell it at Wendy's?
Remember, Wendy's had chili. Yeah.
I haven't been to Wendy's in a while.
I'm sure they do. I remember liking it, but for
some reason like now, I feel like it doesn't appeal to me the
way that it did. They might have had this on the

(33:59):
menu. I looked for it so I didn't see
it, but I wanted it on a baked potato.
See. Yeah, that sounds.
Good, but they didn't have a baked potato on the menu, they
just had the Coney dogs or spaghetti.
Also my preferred if you're going to put because I used to
grow up with chili on pasta, butit was the elbow noodle
macaroni, so it was chili Mac and that was just so much better

(34:22):
in my opinion. It's easier to eat.
Then the big pieces of spaghetti.
I don't. Know.
So I do have some notes, but other than that.
We used to growing up, we would make chili and then the second
day we had it, we would have chili Mac.
And I remember there was a couple times where we went into
the cupboard and we were out of the elbow macaroni and we had to

(34:45):
do spaghetti. And I was like, it's not as
good, it's not as good. So you made your own five way
then at home? Yeah, I guess, Yeah.
What five way just means like there's five toppings on it,
right? It's the five ingredients, the
spaghetti, the beans, the chili,the onions and the cheddar.
Yeah. OK.
And three ways just like less ofthat.

(35:05):
Yeah, I think it's. The chili and the cheese or
something? Yeah, I think it's like no onion
or something. So there was this company on
Shark Tank probably 10 years agoat this point.
It was called Custard Stand Chili and it was this place in
what I don't remember. I like custard.

(35:26):
West Virginia. And it's a custard stand that
does ice cream and stuff. But they started serving this
chili and this was this was the the pitch was essentially a
different version of canned chili.
And they're like, no, but it's alittle bit better.
They did not get a deal. How are they doing now?

(35:46):
They're still operating, but they, I, I was doing a Shark
Tank podcast at the time and theowner came on the podcast and
sent me a bunch of this chili. Hell yeah.
And. Oh my God, this is cool.
I mean it was cool, but I I think I liked it a lot.

(36:08):
But then the next day I did not like it so much.
Oh, it hurt your body? Yeah.
People did DM me and said like Oh my God are you OK?
Like is your body fucked up now?To be fair I ate like half of a
small 1 so I don't think I had enough to like do damage to

(36:30):
myself, do you know what I mean?So you were in pain the next
day? Yeah, a lot of pain.
That was when I was like in my 20s.
Was it like real meaty or what? There was meat in it.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Do you think it was like mild food poisoning because they
transported? It maybe, I don't know, I don't

(36:50):
know and I don't I'm not trying to degrade the company.
They were very sweet people. So if you're interested, support
them, but. This wasn't something I was like
a topic I was planning on bringing up, but just APSA,
there's like a toxic algae or something off the coast and now
people are getting really sick from seafood and oysters.

(37:11):
Really. And sushi.
Which coast? Ours.
Really. Yeah, and it goes all the way up
to SF and all the way down. I I think I need to like I need
a couple weeks where I turn the Internet off.
Yeah, I know. But I'm just telling you
because. And then I was like, oh, really?
Like it's already here. And then one of the people I

(37:33):
work with was like, I've had food poisoning twice in the last
month and it's been both from seafood.
And now they're releasing the toxic algae stuff and she's
like, it's possibly. Damn.
I mean, it could be unrelated tothe algae, her stuff, but it's
just happens to be around that time.
So maybe it's related, I don't know that's.
A good note. Not to fear monger, but the only

(37:55):
thing the only not vegetarian stuff we eat is fish, so we
might need to cool it. Yeah, that sucks.
We're also dealing with the hepatitis outbreak right now.
I saw that on your story and then I googled how to get
hepatitis and it said fecal to mouth.
Yeah, well, you just have to have the vaccine too, which I
believe you got at some point. How do I know when I got it like

(38:19):
I? Was a child college?
I'm pretty sure there's two vaccines.
Do they definitely got it at some point?
How long do they last? Forever.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think you have to.
I think it's one of those that lasts forever.
Fingers crossed it lasts forever.
God bless. I know, I imagine so.

(38:40):
Wait, how is there an outbreak? People aren't vaccinated.
People are not getting the vaccine as much.
I think that's part of it. I did.
You know, causation doesn't equal correlation or whatever.
Correlation doesn't equal causation.
I don't. I'm not a scientist.
I know, but like how is there anoutbreak if we're vaccinated
against it so. There's people that aren't

(39:01):
vaccinated against. It there's people eating ass,
they're just. Spreading it everywhere.
Unvaccinated ass eaters. What is it with this Gen.
ZI? Don't know if it's Gen.
Z who knows who it is. Who?
Who else do you think it is? I don't know.

(39:22):
Who knows? Who knows?
Is the outbreak. In the whole US or just
California? They're specifically Los Angeles
is having it's, it's not having a great time with hepatitis.
Oh my God. And what?
Add it to the list because thereare many things that are going
around right now. Riddle me this though.
Yes. What happens to you when you
have hepatitis? Can you cure it?

(39:44):
Is it? Yeah, like, I don't know.
Well, I let me. Look, what does it look like?
Do you have? Like I don't want to.
Lesions please, I need to know do you have lesions on you?
Let's see hepatitis symptoms, fatigue, jaundice, nausea,
vomiting, abdominal pain and dark urine.
Jaundice. Yeah.

(40:07):
So I think it just kind of wrecks you.
You. Turn orange and you shit
yourself. Yeah, yeah, my friend said.
He went into the doctor for something completely different,
like literally elbow pain, and then she gave him a hepatitis
test. Really.
Because she was just like, and this was last week, so I'm.
And he was like, what was there danger of that for my elbow?

(40:32):
But I think she was just like crossing her T's, dotting her
eyes well. That's good.
That's how they should be. I, I saw, again, not not trying
to fear monger and I'll move on very quickly after this, but I
also saw it like a couple hours after that hepatitis thing, some
lady with the CDC or somebody else on like 60 minutes or some

(40:56):
type of interview where she was talking about the bird flu.
As you know, that's been a thing.
And she's like, we still don't quite have it under control.
And we need, we're working really hard on it because if we,
if we lose our grip on this one,it's about 10 times worse than
COVID. And I'm like, OK. 10 times worse

(41:18):
the bird flu. Yeah, this particular go around
I guess. Again, how do you get it?
That I don't know that there's sure there's many reasons.
Like, are we just saying, OK, you know what?
Actually take that back. It's the name is deceiving.
Because remember the swine flu? You didn't have to kiss a pig to

(41:40):
get the swine flu. It just was a really bad version
of the flu. I got it and I almost died.
Legit. I'm not kidding you.
Primarily transmitted through direct or close contact with
infected animals or by breathingin virus containing droplets or
dust. So basically right Virus
containing. Droplets from a sick human, not
just a fucking bird, right? So yeah, the swine flu, so

(42:04):
similar. The bird flu, you can just get
it from a person, right? Yeah, yeah.
I don't Google it right now. There's not some great
headlines. What global virus network sounds
alarm on H5 N 1? Is US headed for pandemic?
Wait, H5 N 1 was the swine flu? I don't know was it maybe this

(42:31):
is just the new name for it or something?
I don't know. I.
Swear it was like N1I because I I specifically got tested and
they were like oh shit, yeah, you have the N1 strain or
whatever. Yeah.
I don't know. I just if you know, if we have
another one of those, let's let's get out of here.
Let's go to like. That's so crazy, I don't.
Want. Live through another fucking
pandemic. Now we should probably start

(42:51):
hoarding chili just in case. Yeah, I'll order some cans of
Skyline. We'll learn to love it.
I wonder if they sell the vegetarian one in cans or if
they're like no. That's probably a pouch one.
You don't deserve it. Sure.
Skyline Chili. Vegetarian 1 isn't the
vegetarian. I'm like, it's just black beans
and fucking onions and some seasoning.

(43:12):
Yeah, that's I know. But like they put it in a.
Can they bother with it? Let's see, they wow, they sell
just chili spaghetti in a packettoo.
Huh. Yeah, I don't, I don't really
know how that works. How does?
The spaghetti come in a packet. I don't.
Know you microwave it I guess. Oh, I don't think that they sell
the Vegetarian 1 online. They're like you stupid veggies,

(43:34):
you don't deserve it. When you really think about it,
it's like, so the meat one is the one that shelves stable.
OK, I don't understand how that.Works.
Sure, sure, sure. I don't get it.
Anyways, yeah, sorry about my chili diatribe, but.
No, we loved it. Do you get it?
Listen to me very carefully. I know everything.
I watch it. Stop talking.

(43:56):
You're a moron. You are an example of why people
should have to take tests beforethey're allowed to have
children. Do you get it?
I can't believe we're already atJude.
Which, by the way, wait before we actually start.
Oh God. I have been getting served on
TikTok Judge Judy videos. A lot of people are discovering
a Judge Judy for the first time.Let the record show we have been

(44:18):
long time supporters. A lot of people are like
mouthing they're taking audio. Yeah, yeah.
Lip syncing is what it's. Called lip syncing mouth.
Well I thought lip syncing was only for music Anyway.
There is an account that is using AI to make Judge Judy baby
and I don't normally like videosof babies.

(44:41):
It's really funny. Wait like a baby is saying which
her actual quotes? Yeah, it turns Judge Judy and
the the plaintiff and the defendant into babies.
And it's really, it's really good.
Like it's. Again, your algorithm is that of
a 50 year old mom. Like it's honestly hilarious.

(45:04):
So if you just go to TikTok and search Judge Judy baby.
How long does that take for someone to make that video?
I don't know. I don't know, but it's really
good. It's like super well done
anyway. So I had a couple of great
shows. The people in Cleveland actually

(45:26):
came out to have a good time, soI appreciate them, and I had a
couple podcast listeners come out on the Sunday Crackpots
Comedy Club show. Very cool.
Appreciate you, love you. Hi, shout out Val and her
husband. Hi, Val.
She took photos that was so sweet.
She has like a professional camera and stuff.

(45:48):
Sweet, sweet people. And that was all great.
The show, the people at the clubreal nice enough, you know the.
People up in the club. The people at the comedy club
that own it, the microphone, which is feasibly the only thing
we need for our show, it's. The main tool.

(46:10):
It kept cutting out and at one point it cut out for me for like
5 whole minutes and they were like trying to switch it out.
They couldn't figure out it was wrong and then finally it came
back on. They don't even know how they
fixed it, so that's always promising.
Somebody's in the back just banging on stuff.
And then for thank God it stayedon for the rest of my set then

(46:34):
and then I was Co headlining with my friend John and he went
on and his cut out also towards the end of his set and they just
stopped trying to fix it. And he just finished his whole
set acapella. What?
And he was just like holding themicrophone to pretend.

(46:55):
And I was like, maybe you don't hold it.
Like I get, I get that actually.I just put it down.
It's kind of like the it's a comfort thing.
Sure, I just put it down 'cause it feels more my bullshit meter.
Like it feels sadder to speak into a not real microphone than
to just. I get what you're saying.
Put your hand if. He was holding a wooden spoon.

(47:17):
I would agree. Sure, but it was just like so
fucked and the Jude comes from like they stopped trying to fix
it and then never apologized. Like we flew to this state to
headline these shows and the half of our set you can't hear

(47:38):
and you're not even like, sorry.That this happened What?
Are you fucking kidding me? Shove your fucking microphone,
the only equipment that you needto make sure is working.
You're bum fuck town. Shove it up your fucking ass.
Judgement to the plaintiff. Do you get it?

(48:02):
Like God damn man or just like pretend to be sorry and I'm just
starting to think it happens allthe time and they just every
time they go. Whoa, why?
We don't know. I don't know what's happening.
It's a fucking microphone plugged into a God damn speaker.
So it's either the speaker or the microphone you figure.
It out it's. Really not complicated, she

(48:23):
says. Us.
I was like. Come on, at least they seem
slightly frantic when it happened to me but then when I
was sitting back there watching my friend and then they didn't
even keep trying to fix it and they just let him ride it out
till the end. I'm like, dude, what?
It is funny in those situations,I feel like people, not to sound
like a diva, but people don't understand that.

(48:45):
Like you're working, and that's a tool that you need to work,
right, you know? We don't need a lot of stuff.
We don't need a huge setup. We literally need a speaker, a
microphone. We barely even need the stool
that you see on stage. I'll take a stage without the
stool. The time I don't have a stage,
I'm just on the ground. Like, whatever.
But we only need a couple thingsfor a fucking comedy show.

(49:08):
And we flew to goddamn Ohio and for this And you can't have a
working microphone. I have a microphone, I could
have brought it with me. Bring one in my luggage if
that's what it takes. It's like I was at work a couple
weeks ago and the air conditioning in our studio went
out and I was like, it was like 30 minutes before an interview

(49:31):
that we had where the sub, a musician was coming in.
And I wasn't being an asshole byany stretch of the imagination,
but I started getting like. This has to be fixed.
Yeah, I started getting a littlepushy about it and for the most
part, everybody involved was like, yeah, totally.
We're on top of it. We're getting under control.
And it was one of those, it's one of those situations where

(49:53):
the the air conditioning is controlled by somebody not on
site. You know what I mean?
Like, you've got to call some corporate overlord and tell them
to dial it up. Anyway, that one person involved
was like, yeah, but you guys aren't.
I mean, it sucks, but it's not that big of a deal, right?
And I'm like, what? Well, you, it's just you're

(50:16):
sitting in a room and talking. It's not like you're running a
marathon, so you should be able to get through it, right?
And I'm like, OK, you tell a person who came dressed in some
outfit, makeup, has a hair and makeup person with that.
A celebrity. To come into this 85° room.
And do an hour interview. Sit there for an hour.

(50:38):
And sweat on camera. Right bro I'm not being a diva
like come on man. That's worth cancelling the
interview. I almost had did.
They get it turned on. They did.
Just in time. Just in time, Christ.
But I was prepared for that reality because I'm like, I'm
not going to ask somebody to do that.

(50:59):
No, also I get like a headache if I'm like trying to sit and
talk while I'm in a yeah pressure cooker hot room.
And in that same room, it's likeif it's 74° in there, I'm losing
it. Yeah. 85 No way.
No, no, no, that's crazy. Anyway, all right, well, we hope
you have a good week everyone. Yeah.

(51:22):
What? I thought we were going to talk
about your newest passion. I feel like we may have already,
but. You think we did?
I think we did, but that's OK. I am willing to share one more
time just in case. For the first time in my life I
have discovered, and I don't know why nobody told me about

(51:44):
it, The Breathe Right strip. Yeah.
The nose strip, the nasal, whatever you want to call it, I.
You think about. It underestimate or I can't
undersell how much I think about.
You can't overestimate oversell.You can't oversell overstate.

(52:08):
There it is. How much you think about it on a
daily basis? I literally dream about it.
I if I'm having a tough day at work, yeah, like, I'm sure I'm
looking forward to coming home to my wife, but, and our dogs.
Yeah, to some extent. But I'm sitting there thinking

(52:28):
about, oh, that feeling when I lay down and put that nose strip
on and breathe what feels like for the first time.
Oh what kind of joy and comfort that brings me.
So much oxygen. It does make me think because
it's such a dramatic difference for both of us.

(52:49):
Is this what people are supposedto breathe like?
And do we both need like medically?
Like medically do we need nose? Jobs.
No, I don't think so. I don't think so, damn it.
Because it's not going from likecompletely clogged to open.
I don't know. Do you hear yourself right now?
Do you hear yourself right now? I know, I know.

(53:09):
We sound pretty congested. That's a because it's an early
morning thing. Like I'm, I'm breathing through
my nose right now. It's fine.
But Oh my God, I think about it hourly and I feel like the world
would be a better place if we got to.
Walk around in them. Wear them everywhere.

(53:31):
Sweet relief. You know, people at work wear
those little stars for their ACTacne and stuff.
Yeah, it's like the pimple patches.
So why can't we walk around withnose strips on and not be
normal? Thank you.
We just need to, you know, somebody needs to make like a
designer one. Yeah, where it looks like a
temporary tattoo or something that people would like.
Yeah. Or they should sell them in

(53:52):
every different skin tone. And blend in.
Or invisible ones. These are.
Technically clear, but. These are the transparent ones.
Yeah, OK, well, that's not goingto work.
Yeah. Anyway, if you've never heard of
them, if. You've never if.
I mean, I think everyone's heardof them, but if you've never
tried them, go get on it. It's time.
Because I thought for years, like, it's just a piece of

(54:15):
plastic, what could it possibly do?
Like how is it any different from me putting a piece of
Scotch tape across the? Or like a Band-Aid.
Right. Yeah, No, but let me tell you it
is. Incredible.
Also hot tip, get the CVS or Walgreens brand.
Yeah, the off brand. They work better.
They do. Don't get the name brand, get
the cheaper one. I tried that's that's coming

(54:37):
from experience. Yeah, we've tried.
We've dabbled in multiple brands.
Yeah, anyway, breathe, right? Not a sponsor, but.
Could be, yeah. Then Skyline Chili have a have a
fun Tuesday night tonight. Fist your chili and pop on a
breathe right. Subscribe to Mostly True

(54:59):
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