Where in the World is Katie K Comedy

A NEW TRAVEL RECORD!

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Hey, imagine that, two millennials doing a podcast to
avoid legalizing the purge. Yeah, probably because they
can't afford therapy. This is mostly true opinions.
Oh hello, it is mostly true opinions Last day of June 2025.

(00:23):
I'm Cameron. That is Kitty Kit comedy.
Hello. Hi.
How are you, how are you, how are how are you listener and how
are you babe? I just think Mondays are like my
hardest day because I am back now from record or from
recording, from doing a bunch ofshows, yeah.

(00:46):
And being out of town and traveling and then doing acting
class and all this stuff. So Mondays are like the day that
my body thinks it's going to be a weekend, and then it's like,
just kidding, you actually don'tget a weekend.
Everyone wants you to work again.
I feel like this year the time has been flying by at an

(01:15):
uncomfortable pace. I was thinking about that today
driving into work because somebody was talking to me this
morning about how there's something coming out in October
and they're like, yeah, it's just a few weeks away.
I'm like, fuck off. No, it's not.
And then I thought about it. I'm like, it's closer than I

(01:37):
would like to admit. And then I went to Costco over
the weekend to get more pee padsfor our dog and they have a
gigantic skeleton out already for Halloween.
No, that's that's enough. That's isn't that crazy, Sure,
but that's unhinged. That's over two months away.

(01:58):
I don't know. It's it's there.
It's ready. OK, whatever.
I, I think that over a month outis where we draw the line of
when you're allowed to sell stuff like like Valentine's Day.
Yeah, you can start selling stuff for Valentine's Day in

(02:20):
January, like after the first week of January, go for it.
But selling Halloween stuff now when we just hit summer
solstice? It's a little weird.
We just hit the first day of summer and you're going to start
now? Absolutely not.
No rejection. I also think that they like
that, you know, the people that have the giant like 14/18/20

(02:43):
foot skeleton or whatever it is.Like I do feel like that group
of people just wants that thing out all the time.
Like they're going to decorate it for 4th of July, they're
going to decorate it for Christmas.
When it comes around, they it's just like a thing that people
have now. Those types of people already
have that skeleton, so they don't need to purchase it.
So then again, why are we selling it?

(03:06):
Yeah, it's a little weird. I don't really understand it,
but you did I, I believe, and you could correct me if I'm
wrong. You may have broken your own
record for distance travelled inone day.
Well, I don't think we can say distance because I've travelled
back from Europe before, like. That's true.

(03:28):
Physical miles, No, I think we Ibroke the record for like amount
of states that I performed in ina in you know.
A couple 20 per hour period. Yeah, possibly.
I don't know though. I I think I've done this before,
but it just was another whirlwind 'cause I think I've

(03:50):
done like 3 or 4 in three or four different states before in
a few days, so it's fine. But yeah, this weekend I was
technically only not sleeping inour bed for one night, so it was
just like a 36 hour whirlwind. And 261 was a 5:00 AM one was a

(04:16):
7:00 AM flight. I did a quick college gig by the
airport in Saint Louis and then and then flew directly to Vegas
and did an audition show for Behind the Comedian.
So hopefully I'll get a special taping on that.

(04:37):
Stay tuned. And then it was a 7:00 PM show
and we hit the road at 9:30 PM and got back at 2:00 AM.
And then the next day got right up and did more stuff.
It's crazy, but I kind of want you to prepare yourself because

(04:57):
this is the week that they are, I believe, selecting and
announcing the cast of Big Brother.
And if it, if it, I mean, it's going to happen one of these
years and I feel like it's goingto happen right in a whirlwind
of other shit, you know what I mean?
Yeah, I think they've let the cast know by now, so I don't

(05:19):
think it's this year, but. Hey, people have said crazier
things have happened. Sure.
I I agree. I think it will happen and I
think it will. It's not like I'm going to have
a life that's just gaping wide open, no plans when I get cast
on something like that. So I'm just going to, when that
does happen, I'm just going to have to cancel everything.

(05:43):
And quit everything, and that's fine.
And Speaking of, I am offended at.
What? Because I was in contention.
No, I was in I. Thought you were going to say
Kentucky. No, I was in the running for
another game show with friend ofPod and friend of life Katie,

(06:08):
other Katie, and we fucking nailed it.
We're perfect. There's no way to be better.
Essentially, for a game show audition.
The audition was over an hour. It was like almost an hour and a
half. It was every question under the
sun about us, our lives. We literally spoke in unison at

(06:32):
one point, like finishing each other's sentences, nailing the
questions for the gameplay, and we didn't hear back.
And it's like filming in a week.And I just can't imagine who
they would have cast that wasn'tus.
Like I I don't get it. OK, I'm going to say something

(06:53):
and you listener, may call me crazy bleeding liberal, but, you
know, call a spade a spade, whatever you want to say.
I I don't think that these extended auditions and these
extended job interviews that people do should go unpaid.

(07:17):
Yeah. Like I, I, if if you go on a job
interview and it you know, you have an interview or two or like
a meeting or two around the job,that's normal.
But you hear stories of people doing like 10 rounds to get the
damn job and it's like, that is a lot of at that point, if they

(07:42):
do currently already have a job,you're using up all of their
sick days, all of their I'm I need to go to the doctor excuses
all in one go. And they need to be compensated
for that. And the same thing with these
gratuitous auditions that they have you do for game shows
sometimes. Yeah, I completely agree.

(08:02):
And I think auditions for everything, including like, TV
and, you know, like film and TV auditions and game shows and
whatever. Like if you are spending hours
of your life auditioning for stuff, you should get paid.
But I thought you were going to chime in and be like, yeah, you

(08:23):
did so great. I don't get who they would have
cast on this. And then you were just like
anyways. Sure, you did you.
Did see, you're looking at the negative here.
I didn't get to flesh out my entire point.
Of course you did a great job. Of course you nailed the
audition. I mean, listen, if you weren't
good at auditioning, you wouldn't have been on all these

(08:44):
other shows that you've been on already.
I guess, but it's like, so you'dpassed on double Katies like
what who what teams got on then?That's a mistake.
Yeah, But you know how this works.
It could be they had enough young people and they were
looking for a geriatric, you know, could be that they decided

(09:05):
to know because it's shooting inLondon.
They decided to not do Americansbecause of international
politics. You know, who knows?
Who effing knows? Whatever.
You know what show I want to be on now, officially.
What? That game show the 1% club.
You think you would win? Here's the scary part of that.

(09:28):
If you've never watched it, the new season's out now.
Joel McHale, host. It's on Fox.
You can watch it on Hulu. Every episode starts with 100
people, and then they ask a question.
That's the 90% question, then the 80%, then the 70%.
Basically what that means is we asked 100 people to answer this

(09:49):
and 90% of them got it right, soyou probably should too.
And after every question, they eliminate the people who got it
wrong. It's a super fun format.
But the problem is I'll watch anentire episode and nail it.
Just nail it. I'll nail it all the way to the
end or at least very close to the end and I feel great about
myself and then I'll watch the next episode.

(10:11):
And I missed the second question.
And my fear is I would feel likemost game shows when you go to
them or or play them either in the audition phase or like they
have taping, they have you practiced and do a mock game so
that you're not like clunking upthe production process when you
get to shooting. My fear is that I would nail the

(10:33):
pre game and then I would get upthere and and and miss like 2 +
2 equals. 4 Right, you'd be too cocky and then like panic a.
100% And The thing is like everybody has like a little iPad
deal and once you press your answer, it's locked.
There is no like, oh, I'm going to change it before the time

(10:56):
runs out 'cause I I thought about it more and I'm wrong.
There is no. Is that your final answer prompt
it just you lock it in. Yeah, I just don't think that's
the one to go on. I don't think that's the show
because I believe in our abilityto get really far.
I don't believe in our ability to be one of the last two people

(11:19):
or three people or whatever on the last question and to get it.
And then if you do. Get it you?
Split the prize with the other people and then taxes and
whatever. I just feel like the prize money
is not that big and the chances of actually being one of the
last people is slim. Yeah, I like Joel McHale hosting
a little bit better than Pat andOswald.

(11:42):
Again, 1% club. They went for just a white dude.
I don't get it. It's like, does no one see that
it's on the nose? Are we not getting it?
Joel, I love him. He's very cute, very fun.
He's like a good vibe. Does he not see the irony?
I think he just sees the paycheck, you know?

(12:04):
Yeah, yeah. He just sees that paycheck, that
1% paycheck, Sure, but I, I knowwhat you mean.
The point remains. God, I don't know though I think
I'd be pretty good at it. We have been because we've been
staying with your mom for a a minute while we're figuring out
some living stuff. I have been watching a lot more
Wheel of Fortune now than ever, and boy am I terrible at that.

(12:27):
Holy shit am I bad at Wheel of Fortune.
Really. Of all the shows.
Oh, I'm so bad at it. There's I would.
I cannot for the life of me whenI see the thing up there, if it
doesn't have like the first couple of letters, I just, I
don't understand what it is. I don't get it.
I I would say that I am. I'm only getting like 5 to 10%

(12:50):
of what I see. But worse than that, the part of
Wheel of Fortune that I would suck at would be remembering the
letters that have already been guessed because they don't keep
track. They don't.
No, like if you were to guess S right now and then you and then
I and you get a letter and then it's my turn and I spin it 10
minutes later and I go S they'llgo, somebody already guessed S

(13:14):
moving on. And like you get skipped.
No way there's. No way that I would remember
that. But for the audience, they put
it on the screen, right? No, they they put it on the
screen as you're guessing it, but it's not.
There's not like a list of letters that have been marked
off. Oh, I think I'd be really good

(13:35):
at that part. I think you'd, I think you'd be
great at the game in general. Here's the thing.
I I. Think like I love game shows.
I think I would want to do well,but I don't think I can.
I think that's your Forte. I mean, you're talking to
someone who has no record of winning anything.
But I think you you've still perform better than I do

(13:57):
regardless. OK.
Sure what? Listen, if you want to hate on
yourself about it, that's up to you, but I'm certainly not going
to. I think that you do a much
better job. I mean, I just think the ones
that I would do a good job of have yet to cast me, so we'll
see. Well, have yet to, but Will, I'm

(14:18):
telling you, you're either goingto be on Big Brother or Love or
not Love Island. I was going to Survivor.
I hope you're not on Love Island.
Or Amazing Race. Hello.
Amazing Race, I wasn't finished.Amazing Race is always on the
list, but with somebody else other than me because I want you
to win. Maybe I can tag along and just

(14:40):
get photos. But anyway, Speaking of Love
Island, you posted what I believe to date is the most
disturbing Instagram real slash TikTok video you have ever made.
How dare you? And it involves the two of us.
Well. And I love it.

(15:03):
I literally texted you trigger warning because it was too.
It was such a jump scare when I texted the file because I
couldn't decide what music to use for such a dramatic piece of
art. Do you want to tell the people
what it is? Yeah, it's just us pretending to
kiss like the people on Love Island do, which is tongue 1st,

(15:28):
and it's just really gaping mouths, Tongues first, lots of
licking. It's more licking and tonguing
than kissing. I don't even know if their lips
actually ever touch on the show or if they just lick.
I think you're right about that.Like the the lips are an
afterthought. It is very disturbing.

(15:51):
And it's not even like, you know, oh, I just don't like
watching people kiss on TV or inmovies.
No, that's fine. Like, do it all day.
But this is like you said, it's just, I don't even know what
they're doing. I think you've said this before.
I don't understand how people haven't chipped teeth.
Yeah, because it looks like they're like head butting each

(16:11):
other during these challenges. It's so gross.
I also don't get how more of them don't get sick.
How more than don't get sick is yes 100% it's like insane.
Because they're they're all making out with each other so

(16:31):
many times that there's gotta begerms constantly.
And then if one person gets sick, how does the entire villa
not go down for the count? Because you're only, you're
sleeping all in the same room. So the air in the bedroom is
just circulating with only your breath.
Every night you're switching beds constantly.

(16:54):
So the person you're sleeping next to different germs every
night, you're waking up and going to sleep really late,
Waking up really early because of production.
Yeah. I don't get how they don't get
sick. They must pump them full of
vitamins every single day. I don't they must.
I don't get how how it happens. I don't understand it.

(17:14):
I it's crazy that they shot thisshow during COVID.
Like when you really think aboutit, I know they did like a whole
quarantining protocol, whatever,but like there's so much saliva
and spitting. Into each other's.
Mouths. You're saying they shot a season
during COVID? Yeah, but now it's just normal.

(17:36):
Right. I know that's what I I yeah, I
know. I'm just saying it's insane that
they did it during COVID at all because of how much spit
swapping there is. Sure.
I don't know, but the one guy, Nick, this season, it does seem
like he's coming down with something every episode or two.
He just has had a lot of cold sores and that's something it's
like, OK, so you have a cold, a giant cold sore on your face and

(17:59):
you're making out with the wholevilla.
So what's the protocol on that? Like, is no one going to go
actually, I don't feel like making out with you because
you're going to give me a? Cold sore.
Like I don't want that on my fucking face.
I think it's funny to think about it because like everyone
goes into the show thinking, oh,this is going to be fun.

(18:22):
I get to explore connections andand whatever.
Have you ever kissed someone that you had no chemistry with?
It is maybe the worst experienceon planet Earth.
Yeah, and also I have no desire other than obviously today
posting fake kissing. I've never wanted to see myself

(18:46):
kissing someone ever on in the history of my life.
And so these poor people, what kind of psychological damage
does that do to come out of the villa and watch that show and
just watch yourself kissing so much?
That's a good question. It's it's got to have an effect.
I bet there's like at least a couple of them that are like, oh

(19:06):
look at me, I'm killing it. Wow.
It's got to be the weirdest thing though 'cause like, I
think there's pretty obvious if you are watching the season of
Love Island USA, there's some obvious like villains, at least
to the viewer. And it's got to be interesting
being inside the show for something like this, 'cause

(19:27):
like, feel like on some level everyone's kind of aware of who
the people are, right? When you're there in person.
At the same time, I think there's people who think that
they're the good guy when in reality they're not.
Yeah, like completely unself aware.
Yeah, that's got to be like, theweirdest thing is to come out

(19:48):
and be like, oh, I thought I wasdoing well.
I thought everyone would unanimously love me.
Right. Just kidding.
Yeah, I mean. They have like a show therapist
that stays assigned to them a year after the show ends.
I saw on like AQ and A so at least they're trying to

(20:12):
prioritize mental health, but I assume you might need a few
hands on deck for that after. I would think you need many
hands on deck. What do you think so far though?
We're like halfway through the the season.
What is it 7 of the US? Yeah, I think it's not the best

(20:34):
season they've ever done, but it's of US.
It's definitely in the top three.
Really. Yeah, because US the bar is in
hell. It was so boring the first few
seasons. That's true.
But I don't know, I feel like there's been some like decent
drama this season, but I don't know if I like really anybody.

(20:58):
And it feels like this is the first season in a long time
where like, nobody has romantic chemistry with one another.
Yeah, I feel like there's no clear people to root for, and
the people that are doing betterthan the others, I still don't
really even like them. Yeah, you're right.
No one's likable. It's weird.

(21:21):
I mean, I liked Oleandria is my only person that I basically
like, but now she's not even coupled with anyone that we like
so. Yeah.
Ripi. Also wonder if it's one of those
shows that like as it continues to get more and more popular the
the worse it becomes because they're just like hyper aware of

(21:43):
what the tropes are and oh what is a bombshell and blah blah
blah. I hope that's not the case
because I do love the show. We were obsessed with Love
Island. It's still fun to watch, but I
do like when people end up together too.
Did you see that people are selling the phone cases now with
your name on it? I feel like I need one of those
too. I mean, we have what do we have?

(22:07):
The water bottle and the dog bowl.
Courtesy of our friend Katie. Yeah.
So I think the next logical edition is the phone Case, No?
It's it's shocking to me that your text tone is not the Love
Island text tone by now. I think I've tried at one point
but also I don't ever have my phone on loud so.

(22:28):
Yeah, OK. I was trying to explain this to
somebody that was over the age of 40 recently, that nobody
under the age of 40 has their phone on loud ever, right?
Because why do you need it that way, right?
Like the only literally the onlytime I put my phone on loud is

(22:50):
when you were out of town and. The only time I put my phone on
loud is if some one of my friends is going through a
crisis or if someone's like or if my mom's like flying on an
airplane and I'm trying to see when she lands and I like need
to hear my phone. Like I I live with it on silent

(23:11):
95% of the time. Yeah, because like a
unfortunately we have to check it a lot.
You check it the most because ofwork.
I mean, you have 1000 things that you're doing for work all
the time and so you're just seeing it.
And then also if you're not, youjust haven't vibrate.
That's fine. It doesn't need to be blasting

(23:31):
because like you watching the, you're at the movies, right?
And you see a movie with an iPhone ringtone in it or watch a
commercial that has an iPhone ringtone in it and see the
people's reaction to that. Nobody likes it.
No. It's the equivalent of hearing
your alarm clock when you're a kid.
It's just not necessary. Yeah, I think it's funny though.

(23:52):
We all just decide to do that unanimously.
Like without talking about it too.
They just stop using them. Yeah, because like if anyone
were to be obsessed with ringtones, that should be us.
That was like our thing for a while, getting new ringtones.
But that's why it's so jarring whenever someone's phone goes
off in a show or in a movie, because I'm like, why was it

(24:16):
even on to begin with? Like what are you doing?
I went, Oh my God. So I went to a movie The other
day and there was a woman who got up to go to the bathroom and
I don't know if she like forgot where she was or didn't really

(24:36):
know how movie theaters worked, but she walked classic in the
middle of the movie theater. She in the middle of the movie,
she walked out the emergency exit and it just started.
Those brightly lit exit signs didn't tip her off.
No. And it was so funny because,
like, I think the first 15 seconds or so, the rest of us in

(25:00):
the movie were like, is this part of the movie?
Because really, the scene we, yeah, 'cause the scene we were
watching was two people at dinner.
And it was like, oh, did is the alarm going off in this
restaurant in the movie? And no, it was a woman that was
trying to go to the bathroom. It was she embarrassed?

(25:21):
No, it was like she didn't even know what happened.
Was she mega old? No, she was probably in her 50s.
Then what's going? On.
I don't know but. If you're a.
Movie theater, go ahead. If you're in your 50s and you do
something like that one, you should know that shouldn't

(25:42):
happen. You're too young to not know
where you are. Two, you should be.
Mortified and like be like, Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry to the
theater or whatever and like slink away and never come back.
I don't think if I did that, I wouldn't come back into the
theater. No, I wouldn't either.
I would. I would literally like, I would
realize that I did it and I would just keep walking out of

(26:05):
the emergency exit. And I think then one, I wouldn't
come back and it's basically theequivalent of falling off of a
treadmill at a gym. Yeah, it is.
I think that Elise could become her icebreaker for most
embarrassing moment, you know? Which I mean it, it's pretty

(26:27):
embarrassing because there's a group of, at least in this case,
a couple 100 people that you've just disturbed.
So how did they turn it off? Did a teenager that works at the
movie theater have to come determine that there was no
emergency and then turn it off? I don't really know how it
worked. Nobody else came in.
She just closed the door and walked back into the movie

(26:49):
theater and then it kept going for about 60 seconds and then
shut itself off or somebody shutit off like from a control room
or something. I don't know how it works, but.
Or it was just a fake alarm thatnever really alerts the fire
department that there's an emergency.
Sure. Maybe we figured out the actual
truth, but I don't want to. I don't want to like throw you

(27:10):
under the bus or make you feel bad but you had a semi
embarrassing moment last week too.
Yeah, we had to wait a week to talk about it because I was too
triggered. But yeah, I think I have my new,
you know, when you do those Ice Breakers on like the first day
of a class or something and it people are like, tell us your
most embarrassing moment, which I had at the beginning of this

(27:33):
acting class. They said to go around in a
circle and say your most embarrassing moment.
And I can never, I can't. I have so many embarrassing
moments in my life. I can never think of them in the
moment when we need an ice breaker.
So it's good to have one like pocketed that you like pin and

(27:53):
you know, hey, that that's it. That's my most embarrassing
moment and I think this one might be usable for a while.
I was, again, we're staying at my mom, so not like the usual
layout for when I get up and work and you're still in bed.

(28:14):
And part of my company is in Spain.
And so occasionally we have like7:00 AM Zoom meetings because of
the time difference. So I had a 7:00 AM training
meeting and it was like trainingfor the whole company.
So it was like hundreds of people on this call.
And I was trying to log into this Zoom, but I was trying to

(28:35):
connect my Airpods so that I didn't wake you up by hearing
the meeting blaring. And I made the sound my Airpods
made, the sound that they connected to the phone.
However, the Zoom meeting was still blaring out of the
speakers on my phone. So I was like, wait, somehow my

(28:57):
Airpods are connected to the phone but not connected to the
Zoom? That doesn't make any sense.
So my Bluetooth was working, whatever, and I already have my
camera off because again, it's 7:00 AM and I just literally my
alarm went off at 6:58 AM and I logged on to the zoom at 7:00
AM. So my brain's not even fully

(29:17):
functioning, and then my. Thing you can hear the meeting,
it's waking you. Up you're like, oh, what is
that? And I'm and then I said I can't,
no matter what I do, I can't connect my fucking air pods.
And then my friend messaged me and was like hey I think you're
unmuted. So somehow when I was trying to

(29:40):
connect my shit it unmuted me because I always join the
meeting muted and camera. No audio, Yeah.
No audio, no video. I'm joining the stupid training
with hundreds of people. So now it's a company wide
meeting and I just go. No matter what I do I can't
connect my fucking Airpods and Ilike talked over the person
presenting or whatever. Like complete nightmare and in

(30:04):
exact alignment with what I justsaid about the movie theater.
Just as I would have continued walking and never come back
ever. I logged out of the meeting and
never logged back in. I just left.
You just bailed on it. I just bailed, I left, I logged
out and I was like fuck them alland no one brought it up to me

(30:30):
besides that one girl which I think is insane.
I don't. Here's what I'm thinking.
I'm thinking that there were so many people in this meeting that
when it happened, no one realized who was unmuted.
For sure 100. Percent and there's hundreds of
people on it logged out and thenso no one could like check like

(30:52):
scroll quickly and see who it was.
I just like panicked and closed it.
That's what I'm telling myself. But I did cry for like an hour
after and I, it was one of thosethings where you just like think
you're fine and then you think about it again and and you're

(31:14):
upset again. Like I was like, oh whatever,
who cares? Like I'm fine, who cares, Brush
it off. And then like 10 minutes later I
was like. I can't believe I did.
Also, am I fucking 85 years old?I've used.
Zoom since the. Pandemic and I've never been
accidentally unmuted like there's so many of those horror

(31:34):
stories and I've been I have a clean sweep slate.
There's been no incidents and then it's 2025 and I'm unmuted
on a company wide meeting and I said.
I think that that's generally considered impressive because
most of us have, like you, absolute many times.
When? When?
Many times it happened at least once a week.

(31:56):
Honestly, I'm not joking. And there was one, there was one
really bad time when it was up in previous job and I was
working crazy hours and I had this afternoon meeting, I think
it was on Wednesdays that I had to be on.
And it was like I'm working from1:00 AM until 11:00 AM and then
this thing's at like 2 or something.
It was kind of cruel, but what Iwould typically do because it

(32:18):
was one of these like all hands company things and they never
needed to fucking hear from me. I would lay in bed for like my
afternoon nap and I would put this thing on just so it would
say I was logged on, camera off,audio off, and just let it roll
right. And all the time that was fine,

(32:38):
except for the one time that it wasn't.
And I woke, I fell asleep and I woke up to them being like,
right, Cameron? And then I like, scrambled to
unmute. And then I, you know, I was
self-conscious about two things.Number one, I have no idea what
they're talking about #2 Do I sound like I was asleep?
You know what I mean? Definitely.

(33:00):
So I just got on and I was. Like, yeah, there's no way that
you didn't sound like you were asleep.
I I had to, but then I thought like, wow, they probably know
that I got up early in the morning, maybe they don't care.
So I just unmuted and I was like, Yep, sounds good.
And God knows what I agreed to us.
To this day I have no idea. What?
What question were they asking you?

(33:21):
I have no idea to this day. I never, I never found out.
And then I was literally like, for the next three weeks, I was
waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Was there? No one on the call that you
could message after and be like yo what did they say?
No, that was the other thing is like, it was me and a bunch of
other departments. So there was nobody that I

(33:41):
directly worked with that could like back me up.
Nobody that I felt comfortable enough to hit up and be like,
hey, did I? What did I?
Disagree to that, Yeah. And then I thought like, I'm
going to be, we're going to be working 2 weeks from now and
they're going to be like, hey, where's that thing?
And I'm, I'm going to be like, oh shit, that's what it was.
That's never I never found out. So it was probably some fluff

(34:03):
ass thing, who cared? It was, it was probably a fluff
ass thing, but I have, I've, I have not shit talk someone, but
I have professionally called someone out when I didn't know
they were on the call that happened.

(34:25):
They, I so it was a situation where like, you know, when you
zoom into a conference room and there's like people in a
conference room. And it has.
One of those cameras that, like adjust its own picture depending
on who's in the room and where they're sitting.
So this person was sitting like on the other side of the room.
And I didn't see them on camera,so I didn't know they were in

(34:46):
there. And again, This is why you just
don't be shitty. Don't be a shitty person.
Because I did call them out, butI was respectful.
But it was just funny because I was like, yeah, I'm a little
concerned that so and so handledthis thing this way.
It's a little like, you know, I could use your guys help
navigating it. And then I hear I'm in here, and

(35:07):
I'm like, Oh, well, yeah, we should probably figure this out,
you know? So you just stood behind it.
You were like, yeah. Yeah, I was like, well, hey, no,
no, I totally get, you know, respectfully, you're doing great
on XY and Z, but we need to figure this out because it
affects blah, blah, blah. You know, I handled it fine, but
I was like, I just got that big like ping of anxiety in my

(35:27):
chest. Yeah, do.
You know the actor Lucas Cage. No.
He's in White Lotus and a bunch of other things.
I don't know if you've ever seenthis, this video, he was doing
like a audition or a screen testover Zoom a couple years ago.
And he logged on and the people who were like running the

(35:51):
audition didn't know they were unmuted.
And the one I think it was the director was like, yeah, I'm
check, check. A look at this guy's shitty
apartment. And he's like, hey, hire me and
maybe I won't live in such a shitty place.
And it's great. You got to look it up.
And did he get? The job I don't think he did,

(36:12):
but like he definitely that thatwas a video where a lot of
people got to know who he was. That's awesome.
So yeah, did. Wait so they released the clip
he like recorded it? He put it online.
Yeah, it's good stuff. Wow, that's that's awesome.

(36:36):
Whenever you were saying the thing of like, did I sound like
I was asleep? One of my least it's like a huge
pet peeve. And whenever you said that it
triggered it when I answer the phone for anything or a meeting
or a call and someone goes, oh, did I wake you?
No, you didn't fucking wake me. It actually happened the other

(36:59):
day with our realtor and whatever, it's fine.
Like he didn't realize he was being triggering but he called
us at drum roll please. 10:57 AM.
I'm obviously not asleep. And also it's makes me pissed
off 'cause I'm like, it would make more sense to me if I

(37:21):
hadn't talked to anyone all day,like in the morning.
But I've been up, I've been awake and talking to people, you
specifically. And so I'm like, did I answer
the phone with my like bedtime voice?
Like, what are you saying to me?And like also it for some reason
it instead of someone going, oh,did I wake you?

(37:43):
And them being conscientious, itmakes me feel like they're
passive aggressively telling me I'm a loser and that they they
assumed I would be asleep. Yeah, I totally know what you
mean. And it's like there's, it's an
unwinnable question, you know what I mean?
So don't ask it. And also when someone asks you
did I wake you and you say no itjust always.

(38:05):
Seems like you're lying. I know 100%.
I'm like 100%. It makes me want to like
FaceTime and be like, look, I'm driving.
You obviously didn't wake me. Like that's so crazy.
It's so it's. So true though, you're so right
about that. And it's like, hey, no, I wasn't

(38:28):
asleep. But also I don't, I'm not
required to be on the phone at all.
And you're the first person I'vespoken to out loud today.
Yeah, but it's like one, yeah, if you haven't talked to someone
and your voice cracks or something, or it's just,
sometimes people will call me after a weekend of shows and my
voice is just scratchy sounding because I'm talking a lot or

(38:50):
travelling a lot and people are like, oh, were you sleeping?
And it's like, it happened so much that it's like confusing to
my brain because I don't call people and say, oh, sorry if I
woke you. I never say it.
So the amount that it happens tome, I'm like, do I?
Sound weird on the? Phone that people think they

(39:10):
always woke me up. I know 100% how you feel.
I could not agree more. I couldn't agree more.
There's so many things and you shared a story last week and I
think I said the same thing. There are so many things I would
file under the category. Imagine saying that to someone

(39:33):
and most of them are not outrageous.
They're not like, oh, go fuck yourself.
I'm not talking about vulgar things.
I'm talking about just simple yet passive aggressive things
that people will just offer up to one another and I don't
understand it. Somebody at work here will go
around telling people they need to smile more.

(39:56):
Oh my God. Have have you ever seen an HR
training video? It's 2025.
Like and then this one that you're saying, oh, you did you
did I just wake you? That's never, that's never going
to go well. There's no.
Also, let's say you did just wake me.

(40:17):
For the sake of argument becauseit's literally never happened.
And also PS if someone's callingme and I just woke up, I don't
answer. I wake up, talk, do stuff, and
call them back in 10 minutes so then it doesn't seem like I just
woke up. I never just answer from a deep
sleep unless it's like my mom. So if it's a business.

(40:42):
Call and I for some reason, yeah, if for some reason they're
calling it 6:00 AM and I'm asleep, I just wait 15 minutes
and call them back when I'm likemore awake.
Like duh, I'm not a fucking rookie because you're a normal.
Functioning human being. Oh, let's say for the sake of
argument that I, yes, at six AMI, decided to answer instead

(41:03):
of wake up my voice and like, get up and wake up my brain or
whatever. Why are we commenting on it?
Just right to the point? Like, let's say you did wake me
and I did answer. I answered.
We're here. Fucking say what you need to
say. Right, you can make up whatever
story you want about me in your hat.

(41:26):
You can go oh, wow, She she sounds asleep or he sounds
asleep. You can think that.
That's fine. We all think things going the
next step and fucking saying it to me.
Yeah, you're an idiot. What are you doing?
And it's like, it's the, it's the same people that leave
comments on every Yelp thing they find.

(41:46):
What are you doing? I don't, I don't need to know
that. Like the bathroom wasn't super
clean, but the food was good. What are you talking about?
I got a comment recently from someone on Instagram who's
handle like you know how mine's KDK comedy.
It was like something like Carlos F comedy or something.

(42:07):
So like in his bio it said that he's a comedian quote UN quote.
OK, like he had like 400 something followers, but his bio
says he's a comedian. Sure, great.
Let's give him the benefit of the doubt.
He commented on my clip of standup and said thought it wasn't

(42:28):
going to be good but actually funny.
OK, again, didn't need the firstpart of that shit.
Didn't need, but also what a weird thing to say.
That's my point, because it's also a universal experience.
That's what everybody experienced.
I I went into this restaurant tohave a meal.

(42:49):
I didn't know if it was going tobe good, so I tried it and then
it was good. You can skip to the result.
Right. But also like, you call yourself
a comedian and you probably postclips or work on jokes and it's
like you're going to like low key say that you assumed I
wasn't funny. That's so weird.

(43:10):
When you're in the same field asme.
Like that's some troll shit fromReddit that like a non comedian
would post and if you think you're a comedian commenting
that on another comics post likeeat a Dick.
Yeah, that's so. Weird.
And somehow, that wasn't my Jude.
It's like when when somebody says, you know, what did you

(43:33):
think about that movie or what did you think about this thing?
And they go. I actually liked it.
Right, like it was a shock. Oh well, thanks, I guess I'm a
piece of shit. I get that a lot of like, I
usually don't like female comedians, but you're actually
funny and I'm like dope, great. Thanks.
I was thinking I had an idea. I I would have to get good at

(43:54):
impressions and, like, order a wig and stuff.
But you know how Adam Ray tours as Doctor Phil now?
Yeah, I was just like, why do I not just tour as Judge Judy?
You should, yeah. I mean, you probably should.
But I have to get good at the voice and stuff.

(44:16):
I don't think you need to nail the voice as much as you just
need to nail the mannerisms. You know what I mean?
I think that's more important. Like Shane Gillis does trump at
Kill Tony, right? And he he does not have the best
Trump impression, but he does have some of the mannerisms
down. And I think that's really all
that matters. So just.

(44:38):
Stop talking to I I want you to stop talking.
Yeah, there's. You could nail it easily.
Give yourself an afternoon. You know what?
I didn't think that you were going to be good at it, but now
I think that you might be. Getting.
Are you ready to do it? Speaking of.
Yeah, for sure. I know everyone's gonna be

(45:14):
shocked that I was traveling forcomedy and my flights didn't go
great. What?
How did that happen? Which airline was it this time?
Well, it was American Airlines again.
What a time to be alive. What a week to be patriotic.

(45:38):
What a week to be flying American.
What a week to be connecting through Dallas Fort Worth
Airport. It's quickly becoming one of my
top. Three least favorite airports.
Which is saying something. That's a big deal.
You go to a lot of fucking airports.
I go to a lot of airports and here's the thing, I think Dallas

(45:59):
is over hyped. Everyone's like, oh, it's a big
hub. Oh, they have so many terminals.
Oh, they have the sky tram, theyhave the Skylink.
Yeah, it's also like 8 miles between each terminal.
You cannot physically, actually,the terminals do not connect by
anything but the Skylink. So you cannot walk from terminal

(46:20):
to terminal. So if the Skylink is down, you
are fucked up the asshole. You cannot get to your flight if
you cannot use the skylink. You are ruined.
Your life is over. Kill yourself.
So I had a connection and it wassupposed to be an hour and 10

(46:41):
minute connection. Pretty simple. 2 short flights.
Not a big deal in Dallas, out ofDallas.
Great. OK, so we land and then we're
sitting on the tarmac. We're sitting on the tarmac
waiting for a gate. We actually got there 20 minutes
early. Guess what?
We're sitting on the tarmac for 50 minutes 50, not 15 minutes,

(47:02):
50 minutes. I'm watching the time tick by.
I'm in the back row. If I go to the.
Flight attendant, I say, hey, myconnection's getting tighter and
tighter and tighter and tighter and tighter, and as the minutes
click by, I'm seeing my flight leave.
So can you make an announcement to let people off that have
tight connections first, becauseI'm in the very back row of the

(47:24):
plane. She goes yes I can however.
Out of the. 120 people on this flight, 90 of them are
connecting and 20 of them are onthe same flight as you.
So they might not let you up that par because all of the
people in front of you are in the same boat as you and also
need to run. So I'm like great, awesome,

(47:44):
nice. I get like halfway up the plane,
some people let me buy them. We start sprinting.
I'm watching the minutes click pie.
I didn't get off the plane before the next flight started
boarding. So the flight starts boarding.
I'm still on the previous plane and I'm like, oh cool, so we
didn't get a gate in time. Now my flight other flights

(48:05):
boarding. Oh Great American that I flew in
on, you would think is in the same terminal, no?
Yeah, yeah. No, it's on the other side of
the airport. 5 Skylink stops away, 5 stops.
It couldn't be further. It's the furthest point from the
plane I landed on. It's the furthest away, but
Americans all the way over theretoo, apparently.

(48:27):
So I'm sprinting. We get on the Skylink.
Me and these twenty other peoplethat are sprinting to that
flight all together. We're on the Skylink, and the
Skylink breaks down like a Disneyland ride.
There comes an announcement and it goes.
Experiencing some technical. Difficulties.
No one tried to get off the Skylink.
Stay on the Skylink. Cool.

(48:49):
So we're just sitting there and I watched the minutes clicking
by. The flight has departed.
There's no version of it having not departed.
However, we all still run because I'm like, there's a
chance in hell, but there's a chance that they held the flight
because so many of us didn't make it.

(49:09):
And it's also an American Airlines flight.
So we get they open the doors, but we never made it to the stop
we needed to get to. We're one stop shy.
And this one you can run. So we get down the escalator and
I ran 30 gates, which is definitely a mile.

(49:30):
I run 30. Gates.
I'm sweaty as shit and when I get to the freaking gate it is
so abandoned that it looks like no one has ever boarded a plane
at this gate before now. And this I don't understand
that. I don't get that.
There's no plane insight, it's gone.
It's in the air, there's no there's no gate agent.

(49:52):
It looks like this gate was justbuilt and has never been used
before so it's so abandoned thatthere's no one to even talk to
at the gate about missing the flight.
It's gone, it's done, it's dusted, it's over.
So I turn around and I see all these families that also ran
with me but didn't run as fast lol and I'm like OK great now

(50:15):
what? So that we all walk like a
Stampede to the customer servicedesk which is 10 gates away from
the gate that was abandoned and we all stand in line to say the
same exact problem and get rebooked on another flight.
Now you tell me what's easier? Holding the plane for 7 minutes

(50:38):
of time? Holding it for 7 minutes or
spending your time, money and resources rebooking 20 people on
new American Airlines flights because now they're hourly that
the workers are doing just to get us rebook.
The cost of rebooking us and thetime and the energy and the

(51:00):
tickets and we're taking up space that other people could
have booked and blah blah blah. So what was more worth it?
Because they delay flights because someone sneezed Weird.
They delayed. I don't.
Understand. They delay flights because
there's a, there's a, a reading light out in row 12A.
There's they delay flights because there's a bug on the

(51:20):
windshield and you can't hold the flight because 20 people are
delayed on a different American Airlines flight.
I would. I don't understand if it was
because, oh, I flew Delta and and they're not going to hold an
American Airlines flight for a Delta delay.
That makes sense to me. American Airlines delayed their

(51:40):
own shit and you're telling me that now we all have to stand in
line 20 of us to get rebooked ona new flight?
Are you kidding me? Judgment to the plaintiff.
Shove your fucking because it's the skylink.
It's fucking DFW and American Airlines that can shove it all

(52:01):
up their ass. So then we're wasting hours of
my life. Hours of your life.
All these resources for what? Judgement to the plaintiff?
Just shove it all up your asshole as a.
Collective, American Airlines and DFW.

(52:21):
God I just don't understand it. I just don't get it.
Like because you texted me when you got to the gate and you
technically got to the gate 2 minutes before your flight took
off but the plane was somehow gone.
I don't understand how that works.
I mean, they say they close the the door 15 minutes before
departure, but it's also like, right, So literally a difference

(52:45):
of like 7 minutes and, and there's so many of us.
How is this helping anyone? It's not.
And like the the golden rule is something starts at the time
advertised or slightly after, not slightly before.
Right. But also I don't understand
they're delayed. Most of my flights don't take

(53:06):
off on time, they take off late.Most, I would say 70% of the
flights I take are late. For sure, if not more.
And so this is the one time you decide, oh, we're going to be
super punctual. Cool.
Very cool of you. It's the same energy as the
people. Oh, how are you doing?

(53:27):
I'm good. Oh, I'm well.
Oh, today you're well. Hey, tomorrow you're good, but
today you're well. Today you're well because you
feel like looking down your noseat me.
Eat a Dick. Yeah, I hear ya.
That was a good story. I I, I didn't think it was going
to be good, but it turned out tobe pretty good.

(53:49):
My Jude. Yeah, you see what I did there?
Oh, got it. Call back.
Yeah. Welcome to the party.
My God. Yeah, it's a good call back.
It's just so triggering that I was like, what the fuck did you
just say to me? All right, let's go while we're
ahead. Go, go have a good week,
everyone. It's going to be fantastic.

(54:09):
We're going to celebrate our beautiful, amazing country that
does nothing wrong this week. Oh, wait, wait.
Can you wait? But truly, I hope you have a
good time, at least with your family.
We'll take it when we can get it.
Sure. Babe.
You're heading back to Dallas Airport this week.
I don't. I don't know how to tell you.

(54:30):
Unfortunately, I yeah, I'm flying right back to the shit
ass DFWI. If you're in Plano or Dallas,
come see me. I am performing July 3rd, 4th,
5th and 6th. You can find all the tickets at
the link in my bio on Instagram on my link tree.

(54:54):
Come to a show, show your face. Show me that there is something
to like about Texas currently. Yes, and you know what they say?
If you have something nice to say, say it.
If you don't say nothing at all.And if you feel like calling me,

(55:15):
don't ask if I was just asleep. We'll be right.
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