Raising Boys & Girls

Raising Boys & Girls

Welcome to the Raising Boys and Girls Podcast with Sissy Goff, David Thomas, and Melissa Trevathan. In each episode of this podcast, we’ll share some of what we’re learning in the work we do with kids and families on a daily basis at Daystar Counseling Ministries. Our goal is to help you care for the kids in your life with a little more understanding, a little more practical help, and a whole lot of hope. So pull up a chair and join us on this journey of raising boys and girls. Connect with us at raisingboysandgirls.com.

Episodes

November 25, 2025 54 mins
In this episode, Sissy and David sit down with Enneagram Sevens Mary Killett and Aaron Weber, who share how their natural optimism, humor, and energy shape their lives at Daystar and at home. They talk about the joy of being wired for positivity, the pressure to always be “on,” and the growth that comes with learning to slow down, feel hard things, and meet people with presence instead of quick reframing. They also offer a glimpse ...
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In this episode, Sissy and David turn their attention to Enneagram Sevens—the Enthusiasts, Optimists, and Adventurers who bring joy, imagination, and energy to the world. They explore the unique strengths Sevens offer their families, like creativity, flexibility, and a contagious zest for life, as well as the struggles they face with avoiding pain, overscheduling, and following through. You’ll also hear practical encouragement for ...
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In this episode, Sissy and David sit down with two beloved Enneagram Sixes: longtime Daystar founder and leader Melissa Trevathan and Daystar counselor Allye Gray. They explore how differently Sixes can look—phobic and counterphobic—and how both expressions are driven by the same core issues of fear, loyalty, and a deep desire for safety and goodness. Allye shares candidly about being a “phobic” Six: an inner world full of what-if...
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​​Sissy and David celebrate the strengths of Enneagram Sixes—their loyalty, courage, diligence, and care for the common good—while naming the real challenges of worst-case thinking, indecision, and hypervigilance. They offer practical ideas for Six parents (trust your gut, build steady routines, model bravery “even when you feel afraid”) and simple ways to support a child who might be a Six (reassure safety, give age-appropriate ch...
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Enneagram 5 parents Lauren Rupley and Kris Plunkett talk curiosity, intentionality, and energy management in family life. They describe how fives’ love of learning, patient problem-solving, and reflective nature become strengths—sparking great questions, thoughtful rhythms, and delight in kids’ unique wiring. They also name common struggles: over-researching instead of trusting intuition, scarce-energy mindsets, stepping back to o...
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Enneagram Fives—the Investigators—bring curiosity, insight, independence, and a calming, steady presence to both life and parenting. Sissy and David highlight how Fives notice patterns others miss, think objectively, set healthy boundaries, and dive deep into learning. Their measured energy and calm in crisis can be a superpower at home, helping kids regulate and feel safe. They also explore common stretches: retreating into the m...
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What a heartfelt and deeply human conversation with two incredible Enneagram Fours—therapist Kendra Allen and artist Jon McLaughlin. Jon McLaughlin is a Nashville-based recording artist, songwriter, and pianist who also co-hosts a parenting podcast with his friend Dave Barnes. Kendra Allen is a therapist and mom whose work centers on authenticity, emotional health, and helping people grow with self-awareness and compassion. Both br...
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Fours bring depth, texture, and beauty to the world—helping all of us see what’s true and lovely through story, song, nature, and the poetry of everyday life. Their superpower is sitting with complex emotions and holding nuance, which can anchor families in grief and hard conversations. We also name a few common traps: chasing the “exceptional,” push–pull dynamics when others don’t respond just right, and letting feelings define id...
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We loved this honest, hopeful conversation with two dear friends—Kelli Haywood and Brandon Verner—who both live as Enneagram 3s at home and at work. If you’re a Three (or love one), you’ll hear so much of your own story: the high energy and discipline, the adventurous “let’s go!” spirit, and the quiet temptation to substitute charm and productivity for feelings and presence. Kelli and Brandon name the hard places (kids feeling pre...
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In today’s episode, we’re diving into the world of Enneagram Threes—the Achievers. Threes bring incredible energy, focus, and drive into everything they do. They’re natural leaders, quick thinkers, and inspiring motivators who help teams (and families!) move forward. But behind that determination can be a deep pressure to perform and a tendency to confuse “who I am” with “what I do.” We talk about how Threes’ productivity and polis...
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In this week’s episode, we sit down with two of our favorite Twos—Heather Flener and Sherman Bucher—for a conversation full of warmth, laughter, and self-awareness. These two embody the best of what it means to be “The Helper,” and their stories bring the Enneagram Two to life in such relatable ways. Heather and Sherman share how their caring hearts show up in parenting, friendships, and everyday life—and how that same deep empathy...
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In this week’s episode, we’re diving into one of our favorite Enneagram numbers—Twos, “The Helpers.” We love Twos. They’re the nurturers of the world—nurses, teachers, counselors, and caregivers who instinctively know when someone needs a little extra kindness. We shared how much we admire their hearts, but also how easy it can be for Twos to lose sight of their own needs. Whenever we’re speaking to a crowd, we always look for a T...
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Oh, friends, what a beautiful conversation about the heart of Type Ones! We love how this episode unpacks the inner world of these incredible, responsible souls who care so deeply about doing things right. Can you hear the tenderness in how these parents, Briana Pitt and John Allen, talk about their journey? There's such grace in their vulnerability - the way they acknowledge both the strengths and the struggles of being a Type One...
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As 1’s, we want to do good things in the world, we want to redeem things in the world. We want so much to bring goodness and rightness to the world… Stay with us during this episode, we will give an overview on 1’s, including the positives and negatives and helpful tips on how to see what’s right, before seeing what’s wrong. Things to consider if you’re raising a 1.  Daily prayer recommendation for 1’s: The Serenity Prayer (...
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Folks, when we began dreaming about the Parenting Personalities series, we had a lot of fun ideas about what we’d hoped to cover. The central idea for the two of us was that we would use this incredibly valuable tool of the Enneagram that we use in the everyday of our work at Daystar. As a foundational piece of this Parenting Personality series. So we’d been holding on to a little surprise for quite some time. We had the chance...
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Okay I’m going to read a quote, “If you’re not paying attention to how you affect other people, you’re missing a big piece of what makes life work. What you don’t know about yourself can hurt you, others, and your relationships.” This wise quote is from Suzanne Stabile, of course. This feels so true and it feels exactly why we’re diving into what we’re diving into over the next several weeks. It honestly feels appropriate that ...
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We are so excited for you to listen to this conversation with our friend Dr. Alison Cook. Folks are going to feel so hopeful! It’s so easy to just feel overwhelmed by the topic of attachment and she makes it feel practical, manageable, graceful, possible, hopeful. You guys, make sure you stick through the end, cause she gives us the most practical things to do in the carpool lane. You’re going to love this one with Dr. Alison Co...
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Attachment has become a buzzword in parenting circles—but what does it really mean for your kids and your family? In this episode, we unpack the history of attachment theory, clear up common misconceptions, and share practical ways to think about what your child truly needs. We’ll cover: Why “attachment” has resurfaced as such a hot topic. How attachment impacts early development and later relationships. The diffe...
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Okay you guys, Buckle up! We just interviewed Dr. Kevin Leman, whose work on Birth Order, we have talked about, referenced, more times than we could possibly count. We are so excited about having this conversation with him. We knew without a doubt we’d learn a lot. We were not expecting to laugh as much as we did. And we were doubled over in some moments. He is so funny, which will make more sense when he talks about his birth ...
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We’re jumping back in with another episode in our Parenting Personalities series, and we are excited about this episode! This episode is on Birth Order, and can I tell you something fun that I love to do. When kids come for their very first visit at Daystar, we call it an assessment. We take kids on a tour around the Daystar house, they get to meet the dogs, we get them a snack, and we sit down to talk. We meet with their parents a...
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