A Garage Sale High

$$$

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Hey, imagine that 2 millennials.Doing a podcast to avoid
legalizing the purge? Yeah, probably because they
can't afford therapy. This is mostly true opinions.
It is mostly true opinions. I am Cameron that is KDK Comedy.

(00:21):
Hello, how are you? Thank you for being here on this
last final Monday of July 2025. Yeah.
Wow, crazy to say my birthday month almost over.
Your final Monday pod being 34. Yeah, how about that?

(00:42):
Write that down in the history books, you know.
Did I have to think really hard just now and make sure he just
had the right age? Yes.
OK, it's funny you mention that because there's lots to talk
about. One of the things that that
we're going to talk about is thebirthday stuff that we did do.
But what I was going to say is Iwas talking to a friend of ours

(01:06):
at my birthday thing and he said, how old are you turning?
And I had to stop. I'm officially at the age where
I don't really remember in casual conversation and from
these lips to your ears, I feel OK about that.

(01:27):
Yeah. I really have been completely
unaware and I don't really in this moment in time.
Tomorrow might be a different day, but in this moment in time
I really couldn't give a shit about how old I am.
I think that's good. I think you don't bring up your
age very much. And we don't live and die by,

(01:50):
oh, I'm too young for this, I'm too old for this.
Like we just exist and go placesand do things and we're not
like, oh, I'm too old to be out till 2:00 AM or I'm too young to
go to bingo. Like we go to bingo and we stay
out till 2:00 AM. Like we do either thing and we
don't care that we're in our quote UN quote early slash mid

(02:13):
30s. How do you feel now that we have
for you, we have to say mid 30s?I'm fine with it.
I'm honestly fine with it because we have several friends
who have hit 40 already and they, they don't seem any
different than us. You know what I mean?
Like it doesn't affect me in that way.

(02:34):
Our friends that have hit 40 aremaking it look good.
They're. All very cool people.
Yeah, they're all very cool people.
So in that sense, very fine withit.
But I, it is funny that you had to stop and think about it
because I am of that age where Ijust don't remember.
And I'd I'd always made fun of my dad for not remembering his

(02:59):
age or even my age. And he's like, trust me, one day
you'll remember, I have to say. 'Cause when you're a little kid,
you that that's like your identity.
I'm 8 or whatever. Yeah, yeah, it is your identity.
Or I'm a 6th grader or I'm a whatever the framework is.
But I, I have to say, my dad hadhundreds of warnings for how

(03:24):
life was going to be. And I think every single one of
them was accurate. Like every single one.
What's another one? I always used to say like, I, I
couldn't wait to not be in school.
And he's like, trust me, there will be a day where you wish you
could be back in school and that's the only thing you have
to worry about, You know, as a, as a means to try and like slow

(03:48):
me down a bit and be in the moment a little bit more.
I, I used to make fun of him forbeing excited about fixing
things in the house or buying a new vacuum cleaner or things
like that. And I practically live for those
things at this point. You know, God, us unboxing a new

(04:08):
microwave is going to be an event.
We have one ordered. We have waited to open it.
We've, we ordered one and then you brought it into our new
place. And I, I specifically said, did
you leave it in the box or did you unbox it without me?
And you answered correctly and said I left it in the box
because I knew you would want tobe there when we unbox the
microwave. Yeah, I knew it.

(04:29):
I knew. What there was going to be.
It was going to be a moment. Other people have children.
We unbox microwaves and I am totally OK with that.
How old do you feel on the inside?
Physically or you're talking about emotionally?
I mean, I guess both. Physically I physically I have

(04:52):
some work to do. I feel like I need to feel
better than I sometimes do, and that's a me problem.
And I'm the only one that can change that.
Mentally. I feel like I'm still in my 20s.
Yeah, I think for the most. Part every 728.
Like 26, I feel like, I feel like 26 is the age.

(05:14):
But it's funny, every now and then I think that's accurate 98%
of the time. And then every now and then I'll
say something, right? I'll hear myself go.
I just sounded so fucking old just now.
Yeah. You know what I mean?
I suppose. Like I just realized I, I, I
literally had this thought today.

(05:34):
I, I am saying man, more like when somebody and I are, I'm
talking to a guy, I'm like, I know what you mean, man.
I I never used to say that. And what do you mean you feel
like that's a indicator of beingolder or younger?
Older. I don't know because younger

(05:55):
people say like bro and dude andyou know what I mean?
Sure. Maybe, I don't know, maybe I'm
mislabelling that and you're. Saying man.
Yeah, and there's other things. I'll just say things every now
and then. I'll get up off of a chair and
like and then I'm like. Oh, you do make you do make a
lot of grumbling sounds now. Everybody at work said something

(06:17):
about it too. You had people at work mentioned
your grumbles. Oh yeah, they're like, you sound
like an old man. Oh, that's when you know it's
bad when when Co workers bring it up.
It's been happening for a while.I know I do have to say like I,
I work with a lot of great younger people and.

(06:38):
Well, nothing makes you sound older than when you say younger
people. Well, I I don't like how, what
am I supposed to say? You could say I hate when people
say. That no no you could say Gen.
Z. OK Gen.
Z, but I also feel like that hasa late negative label or
negative connotation with if this 2.
Fits. Well, no, I'm not.
Let's not be those people, OK? Every generation and generation

(07:01):
takes a dump on the new one and I don't like that.
But that being said, every now and then they'll be talking
about something that is so not on my radar and that makes me
feel old. What like what like?
You know, beef that two Youtubers are having or some
young pop star who's in her early 20s dated this one guy

(07:25):
who's a Tik toker and now they're fighting.
And I'm like, I don't know who either of those people are.
You know what I mean? But it's not like I, I have a
general awareness of a lot of other things, but I think it's
just like there's just certain stuff I have no interest in and
I don't know. Anyway, I digress.
Birthday month, birthday week? It's it just in a couple days?

(07:48):
Going well. Very sweet and planned a couple
things over the weekend with ourfriends that we ended up doing.
We went to a brewery. We had a little final get
together at our house that we'reselling.
Which I think did we say it lastweek?
We called it the house cooling trademark Our friend Courtney.
It's a great, great name. Instead of house warming, house

(08:10):
cooling and I just. I've never thought of anything
better. It's so good.
It's a good name. It's a good name.
But yeah, that it was fun because on Friday we went to
this brewery and they had skee ball and I, I think that skee
ball is underappreciated. Yes.

(08:34):
What? I just got a text from our
movers and it panicked me but everything's fine.
Is everything OK? Yes.
OK, God, I mean. Skee ball is your favorite.
Yes, it is. But you guys, I get it.
Like this has been our life for like months now is a text
happens and then it's like, all right, we got to stop podcasting

(08:55):
and go move the cat or something.
You know what I mean? It's just been constant.
But anyway, yeah, skeeball is severely underappreciated.
People talk about cornhole, people talk about pickleball,
People do not talk about skeeball enough.
And I have a new business idea. OK.

(09:15):
I'm going to make it cool again.Shark Tank I.
I, I'm going to do you know how there's top golf for golf?
There's like bowling alleys thatare hip now there's pickleball
picking and chick picking and chickle chicken and pickle.
I think we need to open a skee ball establishment.

(09:35):
OK. And here's the rub, you don't
charge people per game. That is the only thing that
sucks about modern day skee ball.
The game is quick. Each one is a dollar.
That's too much. Make it free, get the money out
of the drinks. Or, you know, it's a $5 service
charge for anybody that wants toplay.
I think it should be like you like $15.00 an hour or something

(09:59):
and then you get unlimited skee ball or something like that or
$10.00 an hour. It's such a fun, simple game and
I feel like it is going to have a resurgence, you know, invest
in my skee ball company if you agree.
What would you call it? I don't know, I think I could

(10:19):
think of something punny. You know it need to be something
fun. Ski Ballers.
Ski Ballers or ski time or some I know I'll I'll think of
something. I'll think of something, but God
I love it. OK, I love it too.

(10:39):
I'm now I'm in business mode. I can tell by your general
ambivalent behavior. No, now I'm just trying to think
of a name I don't know. Sorry.
It's. Fun though, but like I, I think
that one thing I people always ask like why do I like the old
video games? And why do I Why do we like
pickleball and why do we like It's all the stuff that you can

(11:02):
do while also hanging out with another person?
Right. And that you usually generally
shouldn't take too seriously. Generally, but I'm sure people
will find a way to, you know, there's going to be leagues
popping up now. It's a lot of pressure I'm
putting myself under, but God I love it.
It's so fun. And here's the key.
Don't ever go for that hundred hundred spot in the.

(11:24):
Corner, just go for the 50. It's just not worth it.
Like you're never going to get it and if you don't get it you
get like a 10 or a zero and the juice is not worth the squeeze.
So yeah, just be consistently good at the 50.
Just go for 50 and I think there's a lesson in that.
I think that there's, there's a life lesson in that, you know,

(11:44):
don't shoot for the stars. You're never going to get there.
Shoot for the moon. Shoot for the moon.
Yeah, shoot for the moon and andalways keep that star in in, you
know, in the. Peripheral.
Yeah, yeah, I like that. We should put that on a T-shirt.
There you go. And then like I said, we had our
our house cooling party. That was super fun.

(12:06):
Last kind of well, it's funny because it was like the first
time I've been in a pool for thesummer and also the last thing
that we did for our house. Yeah.
How do you feel about it? I mean, it was weird, but also
like I thought that part of me would be there and think, I
can't believe we're selling thishouse.

(12:26):
It's so fun. And I didn't.
It's not like I hated being there.
We enjoyed ourselves, but being there I was like, no, this was
the right decision. Yeah.
You know, so it was validating in that sense.
It was validating. I thought maybe it would be sad,
but it wasn't. We did a brewery.
We did a pool party and then we topped it all off Creme de la
Creme with a garage sale. And a lot of our friends, and by

(12:52):
that I mean definitely multiple,specifically expressed concern
about our decision to do a garage sale.
Why is that, honey? Everyone, including you and sort
of me, thought that I might get in a fight with a stranger on my
own driveway if someone was low balling the shit out of me and

(13:13):
we're and haggling us for no reason about our items.
That I might get pissed off and tell someone to shove it up
their ass or say I would rather watch it burn.
But it's like, because people are so audacious online on
Facebook marketplace and stuff, they're like, oh, you want $100
for this? Will you take $3?

(13:35):
And if someone, if someone says $3 to my face, like I might tell
them, no, I'd rather watch it burn, shove those $3 up your
ass. And I could definitely see that
happening. And then we got worried because
I think last week on the pod we said, what did we say?
We thought we would make on the that we would need to make for
it to not be a waste of time. Couple 100 bucks, I think 200

(13:58):
bucks or something like. That I think I said like 250
like we would need to make. That's what it was.
I said 200 and you said 250. Or something like that where we
were like, OK, this is what I would need to make for it to not
be a complete waste of time. And I was so worried because we
had the pool party, everything was fine.

(14:21):
But like we did say that the next day we were going to start
the garage sale at 7 AMI put up a bunch of signs around the
neighborhood a couple days before I posted a TikTok.
You put it on Craigslist, you put it on next door, you put it
on Facebook, all these things. And then we got up at 5:00 AM to
start moving stuff out to the out to the driveway and a person

(14:48):
showed up at 5:45 AM. An hour and 15 minutes before we
were supposed to start and I knew like we were talking to
somebody about garage sales and what time we were going to start
and they and we said 7:00 and they're like, yeah, I don't
know, that seems a little early to people even go to that.
And we're like, no, the garage sale people like to get there

(15:09):
early. Our hardcore.
Did not expect, even saying that, that somebody would be an
hour and 15 minutes ahead of the.
Start, I thought maybe 30 minutes early for like
egregiously so. Then he was there for like retro
games and he did buy a box of stuff he did.
And then and I just kept bringing stuff out while you

(15:32):
dealt with him. But then how many people?
Three or four people showed up 20 minutes early.
Yeah. Again, we're like, Oh my God, I
was like, I don't have a bra on.Like like I you guys.
I got to say when that started happening, I got, that's when I

(15:53):
got really nervous because you wanted to go inside and change,
but there were people there. And then I I ran through the
scenario in my head and I was like, God, if I sell something
right now for like a considerable amount of money
that's less than what Katie had wanted for that jar or whatever,

(16:15):
I'm going to be in so much trouble.
No, not that you would like crucify me, but I didn't want to
like it's the first sale of the day.
If you and it. Sets the tone.
If you sold like our kitchen table for $5 I probably would
have been pissed. But like.
I was, I was really nervous about that and so I started

(16:36):
getting anxiety about that. And then you got out and it was
so funny because you. What?
OK, you know, the criticism, Noteven a criticism when when you
years ago, when you were doing acomedy show with a couple
people, like when people were getting into the room, some of

(17:00):
the people you were doing the comedy show with had like really
nervous energy. And they were.
Walking around and they were like, oh, we got to make sure
the light and the microphone look good and whatever and then
I told you and I'm like, hey, I'm not trying to be critical
but I think that they're they'remaking people feel weird.
You know what I mean? You kind of had a little bit of

(17:21):
that and you didn't make anybodyfeel weird at the garage sale,
but. People.
People started going around and looking through things and I it
was very clear that you were deeply uncomfortable because I
think it was a combination of this is, this is technically
still our stuff until you buy it.

(17:42):
Is it displayed in a way that you like?
Is is or air things out or you're going to be able to see
them? I also felt I felt caught with
my pants down because we didn't put price stickers on stuff,
right? And I felt like we weren't
ready. And then people were just
flooding in and we didn't have change.
Like, and I wasn't wearing a braand people were just on our

(18:03):
driveway. And I'm like, I just felt like I
wasn't ready. Like, I wish I took a video of
it. I should have in hindsight.
Or like, hired a camera crew because people were like,
foraging around and then I just see you in the background, like
going through boxes. I'm like, what are you doing?
And I think that people thought that you were just another

(18:24):
buyer, like you were just kind of, you know, scrounging
through. It was so funny but.
Well, I was trying to display stuff nice because I felt like
we put some stuff out in piles just to get it out and that no
one could actually see what was in the boxes.
So I then I was like just tryingto quickly get stuff out.
But you're saying I was making people nervous?

(18:46):
No, I you just, I could tell by what you were doing that you
were uncomfortable. Yeah, I was.
For the first 15 minutes, that'sit.
And then all it took was like 2 sales for like all I had to do
was have cash in my hand. And then I was like, OK, I got
this. All right, I could.

(19:07):
I could do that. I could do a little more of
this. Here's the bone I have to pick.
OK. And I told you to stop after the
1st 30 minutes. I was like, no.
OK, I was going to bring this uptoo.
I was going to bring it up too. Go ahead.
Someone because we didn't do price stickers.
We had them. We were holding the price
stickers, but we didn't have time to put them all on stuff.

(19:29):
I mean thousands of items. Right.
And so people would hold something up and look at you or
look at me, usually you, becauseyou were sitting down as though
you had an air of authority and I was running around like with
anxiety. But so people would ask you how
much on this and then you would immediately look at me and go, I

(19:51):
don't know, honey, what do you think?
And then I would panic and go, Idon't know.
And then you were getting. Irritated, you're like, can we
stop at the charade? And then I said to you, like,
why do you keep me putting it onme to fumble around with a
price? And that's what I've told you.
It's not. I'm not.

(20:12):
You said I'm playing the game and I was like, no, you're not.
It's not working. Yes, it.
Worked. It worked several times.
In your head, what is working mean?
That you had time to think of a price or you think that you
confused them. If I The longer you let someone
sit with something, the more that they're going to, like, get

(20:37):
nervous about losing it. That extra 10 seconds?
Yes, I think it really works. OK, so you think asking fake
asking me how much I think and then me going I don't.
Know, here's the other thing. I think it makes us look like

(20:57):
nice people because I am asking my wife's opinion about the
thing we're selling. Sure, I think it makes us look
like nice people. You would.
You definitely don't like the charade, though.
You never have. No, just shoot me straight, you
know, tell me what you want for the item.
And only one guy I had to, I hadto leave.

(21:18):
So everyone else was pretty, pretty good.
Everyone was pretty nice. This one guy had a fucking
attitude and he would go around and like say like, oh, I don't
know about this. I don't know if I can clean that
off. And it was like a pillow.
And he's like, I don't know, I don't know if this will fluff

(21:39):
back up or whatever. Probably not.
And then you he said how much? And you said $3 and he was like
as though $3 there. Was a, there was a blender that
we were selling and he had askedhow much for the blender and I
said 5 bucks. And he goes, it has a plastic

(22:02):
lid and I'm like, yeah man, it's$5.
If you don't want it, don't buy it or go oh you take 3 on it or
whatever you know? Right, but being.
Play the game. Being insulting just to get like
a dollar off is so weird. So I went inside because I was

(22:22):
like, I'm going to, I could feelmyself getting prickly at him
and I was like, I'm going to ruin the garage sale already.
And he was in the 1st 30 minutes.
So I was like the I'm going to, I'm going to do it.
I'm going to do the thing that everyone said I was going to do,
and I'm going to yell at a random man on my lawn.
It is funny though, because I feel like that's where things

(22:44):
started with you having a nervous energy, right?
And then that one guy was an anomaly on the day.
But I feel like the pendulum swung very hard in the other
direction by the end of the day,because by the end of this
garage sale, and we'll tell you about it a little bit more.
But by the end of this garage sale, I was nervous that if

(23:05):
somebody came up to me and said how much for your cat, that
you'd be like 20 bucks. Like I, I, you were like in the
zone of like, let's fucking sellit all.
Let's. Sell it all.
Yeah, yeah, I. Because we we, we slightly
overshot the $250. Surprised that I had clothes on

(23:25):
by the end of it. I was.
I should have mostly. Because I figured you were going
to sell them to somebody. Yeah.
Oh, you want the jeans on my body?
I got you. I got you.
Yeah, I was Wheeling and dealing.
I was throwing in, someone bought a desk chair and I was
like, do you want the desk for free?
We just need someone to take it.Like please, please go.

(23:47):
But they didn't want it. But OK, we're going to share the
amount of money we made just because not to be tacky, just
out of sheer joy and exhilaration, and because we
estimated how much we would makeand we blew it out of the
fucking water. And to say that, like, this is a

(24:07):
legitimate thing, like people frown on eBay and garage sales
and Facebook Marketplace and like, if you really want to make
some extra money, I think that you can.
Yeah, drum roll please. Wasn't the final count 1350?

(24:29):
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, $1350 What the fuck?
I I honestly, I couldn't believeit at the moment.
I still can't believe it now. Part of me, part of me expected

(24:49):
like somebody, like one of the neighbors that bought a bunch of
stuff to come back up and be like, actually change your mind
or something, you know what I mean?
Yeah. Because it was going so well.
And I also feel like we, it's not like we went the whole time
and got hosed on a bunch of things.
Like there was a few times when somebody asked me a price and I

(25:11):
I shot kind of high and they went with it.
They were like, sure, yeah, yeah, totally.
You know, and so it and then there was some other things and
it was kind of a Ying and Yang. Like there was a couple things
that like, you know, if I reallykind of prefer we would have
gotten $10.00 but we got 6 for it.
You know, that's fine. At least it's gone, but I can't
tell what is more satisfying. Is it more satisfying when one

(25:36):
of the big ticket items sell? Or is it more satisfying when
somebody gets a pile of 10 random things?
The big ticket for me? I disagree.
Really. And here's why.
The big ticket things are exciting, yes.
And they're exciting because youget the most money out of them
and they're the biggest pains inthe ass to move, right?

(25:59):
Right. That being said, when somebody
brings the pile together, it's often a pile of things that I
kind of didn't think we were going to be able to sell.
Like, yeah, like nobody would want to buy that.
Why would somebody want to buy that?
Yeah. And so when, when somebody piles
them all together and then you're like, I don't know, we do

(26:20):
20 bucks. Yeah, I mean, yes.
I thought we were going to donate this.
Yeah. I was literally going to throw
this away this morning. Yeah, that's true.
You. Know what I mean?
It's so I I think both are very good.
It's very good I. Think when that one family came
and loaded up, like they got ourwhole patio set and our kitchen
set and pool stuff and whatever.Like they loaded up a truck

(26:44):
twice. Yeah, I think that was
specifically cathartic for me. And it was cool because it was
like that. He brought the whole family and
the kids were like bringing everything to the truck and they
were all excited. So it made me feel rugby.
And they like are cool people that are they live down the
street, they're in our neighborhood and they also own a

(27:06):
coffee shop that we're going to move near.
So they own a coffee shop near our new place.
And it was just like cool to meet them and they didn't haggle
us at all on price. No, I mean, and they were, we
were being fair. They were being fair.
Everybody. Everybody was.
Everyone was fair, yeah. And like, yeah, I mean, I agree

(27:29):
it was so it. Was so now we went into this
thinking that it was possibly going to be a horrible choice
and I was going to maybe get in a fight with someone and that it
would be go down in flames and the day would be ruined.
And we left being like, how often can we do a garage sale we

(27:53):
made. And now I guess we're rich.
So funny, I somebody at work today said, how did the garage
sale go this weekend? And I said I not only did it go
well, I'm kind of thinking if the entertainment industry
doesn't work out for me, I mightmove into that permanently.
Move into selling. Or like run estate sales because

(28:17):
it was so much fun. Yeah, it is fun.
And and the mystery of like, who's going to show up and when?
Yeah. And like any 'cause we didn't
know, we had a lot of stuff leftand all of a sudden that family
came and took half the driveway with them.
Like I was like. It could happen anytime.
It was so, yeah. And I think I did him as I did

(28:41):
him as a kid. I just don't have very many
memories of the garage sale and like I was selling Donuts at my
garage sale or something like that.
I, I didn't have like a serious job, but I, but then, you know,
I think when it's not worth it is when you have one table and
you're selling like 7 things. You know, don't do that to
yourself. Don't put a pile of clothes out

(29:01):
and a Pokémon card and expect tohave a good time.
You got to put your life for sale.
Yeah, you got to sell a lot of good stuff and you got to
promote it and you got to tease it and you got to really, like,
be invested in the marketing. But I don't know.
I'm into it. How many times that day did I
say I feel so alive? Oh, infinite I've you haven't

(29:22):
stopped saying it. Yeah, I stopped constantly.
It was great. Kind of on this vein, did you
see that guy? I think I sent it to you but
maybe not that He couldn't get the price he wanted for his
house which was $2,000,000. So he sold raffle tickets for a

(29:44):
dollar each to 2 million people or wait, is that correct?
Idea, yeah. 2 million people dida dollar, yeah.
Well, $2,000,000 worth of tickets sold so because.
There was probably. People that bought 1000 tickets
or something? Totally, totally.
But it's interesting to do that.I mean, it's super.

(30:04):
I'm I, I think it's cool that hetried it and it worked out.
But I was like, should we do that?
But here's the thing, if you I Ithought about this because like
I said, it's it's really cool. He tried it, it's really cool.
It worked out. But the legality of it scares me
because let's say. A lawyer stand with you as you

(30:25):
do the raffle. Sure.
But let's say you do. You say you want to do this and
then only 100 people buy tickets.
You're kind of trapped, you knowwhat I mean?
But can you keep selling the tickets till an undisclosed day?
Like can you just keep selling? You have to stipulate all that

(30:45):
in contest rules. Otherwise like if, if it's not
on the up and up legally speaking, like you have to set
very strict and we are going to do the drawing when a a million
tickets have sold. We are going to do a drawing
when so many tickets are sold. You either have to do that or
some other version of that. And then if you try to do
nothing at all, you can be sued for not having proper contest

(31:09):
rules and all of those things. But feels like he probably did
if he was going for this big of a of a sale.
Yeah, this bit of a strange. It just was so cool.
And I, I mean, it definitely probably was a lot of work for
sure. None of those people feel

(31:29):
cheated that got raffle tickets because what are they out?
You know, maybe some people are out of dollar, maybe some people
are out of $1000, but that's up to them.
That's gambling. But then like, imagine it's kind
of like no harm, no foul becausea lot of people are out of
dollar or $5 whatever. Imagine the if the person that

(31:50):
won the house literally bought 1raffle ticket like.
Right. And they want a house.
It's technically possible. It's like when I went, it's like
when I how I won my switch too. Yeah, basically the same.
I only had one raffle ticket because I only bought like one
thing. That's crazy.
And so it's technically possible.
The same thing with the lottery when you when people buy one

(32:12):
Powerball ticket or whatever, it's technically possible.
But yeah, I mean, that's it's pretty crazy when you think
about it. You buy a $1.00 ticket and you
win a $2,000,000 house. Like that's so insane.
Where is the house located? Do you remember?
I don't remember. OK.

(32:34):
I don't remember, but it's kind of, it's an interesting.
I wouldn't be surprised if somebody else tries it.
And I think if enough people tryit, maybe it's literally an
alternative way to sell a house and it becomes a legitimate
thing. It might, you never know.
Yeah, I do think that it could not to be a Debbie Downer.
I think it could end up poorly because then it would give, it

(32:57):
might give people access to buy a home that otherwise couldn't.
However, then they have the expenses of the home and the
taxes of the home, and then maybe they will unrealistically
get into the expenses of a housethat they can't actually afford
long term. So they're like, Oh my God, I

(33:18):
won this $2,000,000 house. Yeah.
But now you have property taxes on a $2,000,000 house.
Are you ready for that? Like.
I'm sure it would also. I think you're right because I'm
sure also like real estate developers would come in and buy
half $1,000,000 worth of ticketsand then increase their odds to

(33:39):
50%. To get the house for way less
and then you're getting it off the backs of all these other
people that only got 50 tickets.Well damn, you know.
You know, why can nothing be be innocent and nice, you know?
Why does everything bad have to happen to us?

(33:59):
I thought it was a good idea. Yeah, I don't know.
I but by the way is do you is can we look up if Mercury is in
retrograde? I guess why are you feeling it?
I'm feeling it and a lot of people that I'm around are
feeling it. You know what's funny is
somebody else 'cause you you last night I.

(34:21):
Believe it is currently in retrograde.
It began on July 17th and will continue until August 11th.
Well. I used to be a doubter.
I'm now a believer, and many of these things, this being one of
them, why everybody I know todayis insanely tired.
Insanely tired. Yeah, it's a Monday, but more so
than normal Monday. The guy I work with fell asleep

(34:42):
while using his computer today, and we have seen more insect
activity at our current place. Yes or no?
Sure. Why?
Two people I work with today said they one said there was
cockroaches in their place last night.

(35:03):
Another person said there was all kinds of bugs in their place
the other night. I think the bugs are feeling the
Mercury in retrograde too. Sure.
I think it's happening. The bugs thing, I think it could
also just be that it's the middle of July in summer, so the
bugs are fleeing the outdoors. But.
Could be, but so you're not a believer.

(35:25):
I am a believer. I just don't know that it
explains bugs, bugs in homes, you know?
I guess. Whatever, my God.
You've been trying to tell me todo a sound bath.
Yeah, I have. Kind of interested in it.

(35:47):
OK, that would help me get through it the.
Mercury being a. Retrograde.
Does that help? I don't know.
Yeah. A lot of people are online
talking about Big Brother. We're in the middle of watching
it, is what some people are calling a bullshit season.
Why? What I.

(36:08):
Don't know, a lot of people are saying in the same criticism
about one of our other favorite shows, Love Island happened this
season, Love Island USA. People online are saying that
the cast is unlikable and that they're having a hard time, like
glomming on to somebody. Yeah, I actually can't think of

(36:31):
a favorite. That's true.
I don't have any favorites. For Big Brother.
Yeah. I definitely have a favorite or
two, but what I don't understand, like I feel like the
sentiment I've seen online is kind of frustrating because
people are like, like I said, complaining that there's not
people they can like. But that's kind of the point
You're going to, there's going to be people you cheer for and

(36:52):
then there's going to be people you hate.
And if there's not a balance of both, it's probably also not
entertaining. Imagine watching a show.
Full of people you love? What if it's only people you
like? Right.
And everybody gets along. Right, that would also be bad
TVI just don't. I agree that I don't feel like I
have anyone I like yet at all. Do you?

(37:14):
Yeah. Who?
I like the Ava girl who wears the weird hats and stuff.
I think she's hilarious. There are some people that are
so boring. I'm like how out of thousands
and thousands of applicants did this like piece of cardboard get
picked? Well, it's funny you say that

(37:35):
because I feel like we are hitting a a time in history
where there's too many shows casting too many people.
So now we're getting a a bunch of turds on a lot of shows.
But what about me? I'll be a turd.
You need your No, you're not going to be a turd.
You're going to be way better than a turd.
You need your chance on one of these.
Yeah. It's going to happen.

(37:57):
Maybe there's going to be a new garage sale reality show that
you can be in or something. It's going to happen.
It fucking better people. I mean, we're working on listen
#influencer #sponsored. Our move is sponsored by Roadway
Movers. Yeah, very excited about.
That look for that hot, hot firecontent and interact with it

(38:20):
because they're sponsoring our move, bless them.
OK, hashtag engagement #influenced hashtag.
Use our code for whatever percent.
Off, 20% off or something? Yeah, I don't know.
It's something good. So you know, we're we're
manifesting more of that. It's going to be great.

(38:43):
Yeah, I think so. Manifests it into existence
because Mercury is in retrogradeand that's how it works or
something. I don't know.
We'll figure it out later real quick before we dive into Jude.
First of all, I have been seeingJudge Judy all over social
media. I don't know who her people are,

(39:04):
but they're telling her to get out in front of that camera.
Thank God. I'm seeing her all over the
place. I love her to death.
What are you seeing her doing? What's she doing?
Talking about things, talking topeople about her.
She's got a new show coming out.What's wrong?
What? Yeah.
What are you saying right now? There's a new Judge Judy show
coming out. Other than Judy Justice, what is

(39:28):
it? Let me look it up real quick.
I I saw something about it the. Other day.
What is wrong with my algorithm that this is not breaking
fucking news on my 4U page? On my discover page?
Also, what's wrong with you thatthis isn't the first thing you
said to me today or when you found out I.
Just kind of assumed that you had seen it.
So here's what the show is called.
It's called Justice on Trial. It is available on Prime Video.

(39:53):
It revisits controversial court cases, allowing viewers to
assess whether the original verdicts were just.
And it and she's hosting it, telling her opinion.
She features her and includes recreations of the trials with
lawyers Larry Bachman and DanielMentzer.

(40:15):
Oh my God, we should look it up.We should.
I need to be a fake person on the show recreating the trial
and I can meet her. I mean, that's a great idea.
I didn't. I to be honest with you, I
didn't know they were doing re enactments, otherwise they would
have told you that. But I didn't know that she was

(40:35):
doing another show until this one came out.
Oh my God. Debuted last week.
Judy. I know, but what I was going to
say before we dude is I need somebody to fix my TikTok
algorithm and I need them to fixit immediately.
A lot of people said when TikTokwent on that pause they came

(40:59):
back and their feeds were different.
Mine is definitely different. I am now having to seek out the
old grandmas and grandpas that cook.
I am now having to seek out the middle the mid Midwest moms that
are feeding their family of seven with things they find at
Dollar Tree. I am missing power washing
videos, lawn care videos, and I have been served a lot of dog

(41:24):
content recently which I don't hate.
I like dog content but I'm either getting really good dog
videos or really terrible dog videos.
Why like to the? Point where I'm like, should I
create a new account? You can block them, so you if
you start blocking those types of accounts, it'll read teach it

(41:45):
I think. I'm going to try that because
they're just some things that you don't.
Like. There's I'll dogs, there's dogs
that get injured, there's peoplebeing bad to dogs.
It's like can stop showing it tome.
Oh my God, you have to block them.
And I'm I'm going to. Cut you off.
Listener, I'm going to cut you off because I know you're

(42:06):
hearing that saying. Why are you watching it?
It's only giving it to you because you watch it.
I swear to you, I skip right over it.
I only look for the good stuff. Yeah, my algorithm is kind of
fucked too. It's.
So irritating. I just want my whole for you,
Paige to be Judy. And I don't know, people say

(42:28):
Kris Jenner is the hardest working woman in show business.
Fucking Judge Judy is. Get back to us.
Judge Judith Scheinland. Who we named this segment in in
honor of. You know, I hoped this day

(43:00):
wouldn't come, but here we are again.
I lived in LA, what, 14 years now or something?
Yeah. I've had like 7 agents, 3
managers. Who gives a fuck?
No one cares. No one's done anything
remarkable. It's just throwing spaghetti at
a wall. I'm al dente.

(43:22):
Where are they with the bowl? You know, where are they with
the plate? No one's helping me.
So I have been getting new head shots, doing casting director
workshops, taking a Meisner class.
I went to a casting director workshop specifically for comedy

(43:43):
and someone that's casting a couple sitcoms that really ended
up liking me. It was a really good experience.
Also earlier you said something that that reminded me like you
said a word backwards and it wasfunny.
I keep saying I did a a scene from The Unbreakable Kimmy

(44:05):
Schmidt and one of my lines was if a Scrooge or a Grinch comes
over the hill and I said Grooge or scrinch and I said it also in
the casting director workshop and everyone cracked up and it
was hilarious because I played it off.

(44:27):
Sure. But I my brain cannot say it
without thinking really hard. If I just say what my brains
thinking, it's Grooge or Scrinchinstead of Scrooge or Grinch.
I don't understand. I don't get it.
Anyways, the casting director workshop went really well.

(44:47):
I text my manager she likes texting supposedly because she
never has ever once responded toa fuck ass e-mail of mine.
So instead I text her and I update her and say hey this went
well. Can you send me, you know some
names of other casting directorsI should target to go to more
workshops? And can you see if this one, if

(45:09):
this person is casting, this is a good time to submit me because
they really liked me in the room?
Get on it. No fucking response for two
days. And then I sent a sad face and
then she sent back the word hello with no punctuation.

(45:31):
And then I said, did you get my text from 2 days ago?
Oh, I was travelling, I'm getting caught up on stuff now.
No punctuation, no answer to what I said, no answer to the
text from a few days ago. Still nothing.
And then today I got an e-mail from that casting director
saying that he would like to come to one of my upcoming

(45:53):
comedy shows and that I'm very talented.
So he fucking followed up with me.
I sent her the screenshot. Nothing.
Come on, she didn't even like it.
Nothing. This woman wants me to die, I

(46:13):
think. What a bitch.
What a fucking bitch. I hate this woman.
There's no fucking excuse. Get your head out of your own
asshole. She's you know what it is.
Her daughter's an actress and I've never had a fucking phone
call with her. That's where she's not talking
about her daughter. Her head is so far up her
daughter's asshole that she can't even see other clients

(46:34):
her. She is inside of her daughter's
butt hole. I don't give a fuck that you
have a child actress. Why do you have other clients?
Then go be mommy manager and getaway from me.
Don't waste my fuck ass time. Your fuck ass time.
Don't waste my fucking time, it pisses me the fuck off.

(46:55):
She's dead to me, I don't give ashit.
She could get me a series regular role on a sitcom
tomorrow and I would still I I would take the role.
Yeah, OK. Yeah, yeah.
I wouldn't fucking have dinner with her, you know what I mean?
Like I would take the role I don't.
Blame you. She's fucking dead to me.
You can't fucking communicate. Eat my Dick.
Judgement to the plaintiff. Fucking justice will be served.

(47:18):
Shove the contract we have together up your fucking
asshole. I'm done.
Oh, man, Yeah. I mean, I, I don't blame you.
I don't blame you. Here's the thing.
If you're a friend, you do not owe a text message back to

(47:39):
anyone. Really.
On a specific timeline, it's generally nice to respond to
them. But if you do it late or a day
later, whatever, that's it's generally OK.
This this woman works for you, technically.
Yeah, we, she's, we have a contract that says she's
supposed to care about my career.

(47:59):
And you are the least demanding client that's ever existed.
No. And I'm doing all of this stuff
on my own and I'm booking myselfand I've gotten YouTube stuff
and a commercial on my own and I'm booking my own stand up
tour. No one does that for me.
Everyone thinks that I have someone that does that for me.
No one does that for me. I do it all my fucking self.

(48:22):
You're welcome. I took it upon myself to get new
headshots. I took it upon myself to sign up
for a Meisner program. I took it upon myself to seek
out a casting director workshop.She didn't tell me to do any of
that stuff. You're fucking welcome.
I'm helping you make money. Fuck off.

(48:42):
I agree. I.
Completely agree. So it's not going well.
Well, yeah, it's not going well,but hey, at least you had a good
garage sale, you know? Yeah, at least we we're filthy
rich from selling our old stuff.We're going to be We're going to

(49:08):
be able to buy a Frigidaire fridge.
What the fuck? What?
Holy shit. Costco a Frigidaire.
We're going to be able to buy a freaking Frigidaire fridge from
Costco out of our garage sale money.
Wow, a Frigidaire. We have Frigidaire money now.
Holy shit. We're not have, we're not
getting that Insignia from Best Buy, you know, we're not getting

(49:29):
a hyacinths. What the fuck?
Fridge. What is it again?
Frigidaire. Frigidaire.
Isn't that what it's called? Yeah, Hell yeah it is.
Yeah. Frigidaire life, now that's I'm
going to get that tattooed. All we had to do was sell 65
items in order to buy one item. But let's not do the math.

(49:52):
No, let's, we'll figure it out later.
It all comes out in the wash. Well, have a good week everyone.
We hope you enjoyed your July and happy August.
Totally and. We'll see you on the other side.
Anything, anything left to say? Any any lessons?
Any words of wisdom? Sell all your stuff.

(50:16):
So you just sell. Sell all your stuff instead of
shoving it up your ass? I don't know.
You heard it here first, your lips to God's ears.
Bye everyone. Describe some mostly true
opinions on iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen
to podcasts.