Fridge Your Meat

...gross

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Hey, imagine that, two millennials doing a podcast to
avoid legalizing the purge. Yeah, probably because they
can't afford therapy. This is mostly true opinions.
It is mostly true opinions I am Cameron that is K to K comedy

(00:21):
back for another week. We made it.
We we're here. We made it through our
celebration of independence in America.
Yeah. Red, white, blue, red, white and
blue. So patriotic.
So much independence. I got to say, every year that
goes by, every year that goes by, the less I care about 4th of

(00:46):
July and Halloween, those are the two holidays that I'm like,
take it or leave it, you know? No one cares, and the people
that do care, it's like you're trying too hard.
I don't know. I think that the people that
like Halloween are fine in the sense that they just like spooky

(01:09):
season. That's true.
It's more of like a vibe. Yeah, it's like a cozy season.
I think that the people that concern me are the ones that
like, plan their costume six months in advance like it's
their Super Bowl. There are people we used to live
down the street. Remember that house we used to
live near that had their Halloween decorations up all

(01:30):
year long? I think the whole thing that
makes Christmas special is like the cozy season, and then it's
exciting to decorate, and the whole thing that makes Halloween
special is the spooky season. If you have your shit up all
year round, whether it's Christmas lights or Halloween,
like spooky ass shit in your yard, like you have permanent

(01:53):
gravestone, like Styrofoam gravestones, at some point
making one holiday your whole personality isn't cute anymore.
Yeah, it's once you read a reacha certain age, it's no longer if
it's no longer. Once you reach like 12 I mean.

(02:15):
Basically, when you stop trick or treating, that's what we're
trying to say. Right, which again, if the month
of October you go hard, pop off,cool you.
You did just remind me though, of the the show we've been
watching. I'm going to write it down,
sorry. Finish your point.
The show we've been watching. Yeah, it's I I've been meaning

(02:37):
to recommend this on the pod fora while.
Go ahead. Well, I heard a child in the
background, so I thought you were about to go off.
Yeah, because it runs through the goddamn fucking hallways.
Our dog, our dog barks one time and it's World War three with
the neighbors, but let your fucking animal child run
screaming through the hallways, banging on doors and it's, oh,

(03:00):
it's fine. I know because oh, just the kids
will be kids eat a Dick. It's joyous.
It's such an infectious energy. It's really not Speaking of the
all year Halloween decoration thing.
OK, I have a show recommendationfor you.
If you've never seen it before. Run the HBO Max Look it up.
Ugliest house in America. Ugliest house in America.

(03:24):
It is such a good time. It's hosted by Retta who was in
Parks and Rec. It is technically on HGTV but if
you don't have it you can streamit.
It's so easy on HBO Max, it is fascinating.
It's fascinating and it's like these people, first of all, yes,
if you just buy a house, 'cause it's a great deal and it's

(03:46):
architecturally, like pretty ugly and just like poorly
designed, OK, that's one thing. But if you buy a house that's
like, structurally unsound, there's like, holes in the wall,
there's mold, there's stuff falling off.
And your solution for six monthsof living there is to, like, put
a piece of Saran wrap over a giant hole.

(04:08):
Like, what are you doing? There's an episode where there's
a, well, an open well into the, like, the middle of the earth
into, like, igneous rock. And there's, oh, it's just
gaping open in the middle of thehome, like in the living room.
Yeah. In the house.
She said she kills minimum 40 spiders per day 'cause they're

(04:32):
just coming up from the middle of the earth.
And it's like, hey, hey, knock, knock, knock, knock.
Hey, what are you doing? Close the well, you idiot.
Oh well, pretty easy to close off.
Hey, hey, it's in your living room.
No shit spiders are coming up. Honestly, I'm on the spider side

(04:53):
at this point. Yeah, they're coming up for good
living. It's but it's like you did this
to yourself and they're like, yeah, I don't know what
happened. It's just that we bought this
house with a well and the spiders are coming up in the
well and we've just been living it in this and we didn't do
anything about it. Yeah.
And then what did they say? They moved in and they they hit

(05:17):
a piece of the wall when they moved in.
So there's a huge hole from themhitting the wall with a piece of
furniture when they were moving and like an animal, like what is
a rodent came in through the wall and then they didn't close
it. They just put some, they propped
something in front of it. Yeah, they just like they

(05:39):
stuffed a rag in it. Oh yeah, there you go, a rag.
And it's like that's easy for a rat to navigate, you dipshit.
But it's also I understand if you don't have the time or
resources to be necessarily fixing it yourself, but there
are other ways than a rag. Also hot take, if you don't have

(06:02):
100 bucks to fix a hole in your wall, don't buy a house.
It is it's pretty shocking, likeit's a it's a case study in what
people take pride in right. There are definitely people on
this show again, watch it, look it up.
Ugliest house in America. There's six seasons.

(06:22):
I think there's definitely people on the show that buy the
house thinking, OK, this is a wacky ass looking house, but
we're absolutely going to renovate it.
We bought it because of the view.
It's on a lake. How cool is it?
It's going to be our retirement home and it's very clear they
just bought it and they're calling the show to have it
covered before they start doing renovations.

(06:43):
I kind of get that. That's pretty fun.
Then there's the people you're describing that buy the house,
live in it for two years, and have some weird sense of pride
that they haven't done a thing to it and that I don't
understand. That they've been living in
essentially like their own hellscape, the self created.

(07:04):
And like you bought, you knew you saw that you bought it and
they have some weird martyr chipon their shoulder like, yeah,
we've been living like this. And it's like buy your own
design. Because guess what?
That $250,000 house that you bought in the middle of nowhere

(07:25):
that has a well in the living room.
Do you know what else you could have bought for $250,000 a house
without a well in the living room?
I don't know what to tell you. At least a nice condo.
I don't know, rent a place, whatever you need to do.
It's so funny because it's thosesame people that you're
describing. They I believe they said in the
episode when they walked up to the master bedroom.

(07:47):
This is pretty much the only room we hang out in because this
is a room we feel safest in for like a year.
If you feel unsafe in your own home and you just bought it,
like what's going on mentally there?
Right. You made the decision for your
hierarchy of needs, your shelter, their your food,
shelter, whatever. You made the decision for your

(08:09):
shelter to feel unsafe every day.
Are you? Well, I'll answer it for you.
No, you're not. It's also so funny to see.
And this is, you know, this is just, it's fun on this show, but
it's also fun on any home renovation show.
It's fun when you get to tour anopen house.

(08:29):
What different people think looks good and it's going to
sound like, it sounds like I'm talking from a snobbish point of
view. I'm not.
I'm just talking like there's just very basic things that
don't go together. And when you take like a little
paintbrush that you use in elementary school and freehand

(08:49):
drawings on the wall, chances are it's going to look like a
kindergarten classroom, not something that adults live in.
It's so funny. Another thing that I don't
understand, I don't get when youbuy a house, yes, I understand.
I can understand cosmetic changes.
I can even understand moving onewall.

(09:12):
Let's say, OK, I don't get when the renovations get up towards
200 and $300,000. That is the threshold where I'm
like, why didn't you buy a different house then?
Why are you basically spending the cost of a second house to
fix this house when you could have just bought a house that

(09:36):
suited you better with a better layout 'cause that's the point
where I'm like just take it downto the studs then and and build
your own house. Because when you're making
changes to every single room andyou're changing like 7 walls and
you're tearing out every floor and you're like what?
Are you really keeping at that point?
At some point you've just not wasted your own time and you

(10:00):
could have just bought a different like I don't at some
point I don't get it. I agree.
I agree it's a crazy show though, you have to watch it.
It's a super fun time, so and there's some there's there's at
least one episode that I've seenover the last few years that
like made me dizzy because of how bad a house look.

(10:20):
Imagine that was just on TV. Imagine living in it.
I can't. I can't.
Like, I wouldn't. There's no way I couldn't stay
in it anyway. We should start.
I I feel bad that I haven't thought of this until right in
this moment, But you know the show.
Where in the world is Carmen SanDiego?

(10:41):
That theme song we need for you?It's I cannot believe we don't
have it at this point, but. You, that is on you I.
Think it is very much on me. You were travelling again this
week. This time your comedy took you
all the way to the great state of Texas.
Yeah, Plano and Dallas and you know, obviously our heart goes

(11:04):
out to the flooded areas of Texas.
I was. Horrible situation.
Really lucky I was nowhere near that.
A couple people reached out, which was really sweet.
I was just in Plano and Dallas for this trip and weirdly I had
a show on 4th of July. A lot of people came out to

(11:24):
watch me instead of fireworks, which was very flattering.
I'd had a couple shows on the 5th, a couple shows on the 6th
and I did have a show on the 3rd.
So I had a bunch of shows in thecourse of four days.
I went to a Hot Springs, I went to Meow Wolf, which is like an

(11:46):
art installation. I saw some friends.
It was like a jam packed four days.
Yeah, you were busy. And I will say on a a previous
episode, I was like, I'm worriedabout the crowds in Texas and
being like, women shouldn't speak and the men, they're being
weird. And I got to say, for the most

(12:08):
part, you could tell the audiences were conservative, but
they were really good audiences.And a lot of the men were
totally like, down for a good time and like good sports.
Like, I made fun of a few of them because one guy was sitting
in the audience with, like, his sunglasses on the back of his

(12:28):
head just like, you know, ready for action.
And I got to say, like, he took it like a champ when I was
making fun of him. And like, for the most part,
everyone was really nice. So I think I was like
oversensitive about going there.I honestly think that's most of

(12:50):
the South is that bad apples spoil the bunch and there's
definitely those people out there, but.
I think it's also due to the fact that I don't bring up
politics at all in my set and. True, that's good point.
I think if I would have gone into politics, they might have
booed me, you know what I mean? Like, it's just because I'm so

(13:11):
benign with that stuff. So I think it's two things can
be true. Like they were nice, but I also
didn't poke the bear. Yeah, it's not a fun we
politics. It used to be that politics
would come up in comedy because it wasn't talked about all the
fucking time. Right now it is talked about all
the time. So it's like we don't just let's

(13:33):
not talk about it in politics. It's fine.
Yeah, it's good though. That's good.
I so you always have funny stories when you fly some bad,
some horrible, some more funny than others.
But I wrote this down and I think it's hilarious.
You said right before we startedrecording we should talk about

(13:55):
John's meat. Yeah, yeah, we first of all, he
was determined. He's a Co headliner that I tour
with sometimes and he was determined to get BBQ because he
was only coming in for one nightand Co headlining with me.

(14:18):
And he was determined to get barbecue in Dallas.
And there was apparently this famous place.
Oh, I guess I should look up thephoto which place it is if I'm
going to talk about it. But there was this famous BBQ
place that I guess is usually inNashville.
Terry Blacks, there we go. Oh, did we go to one of those in
Austin? Probably.

(14:40):
Yeah, I think we did. So it's like, you know, you got
to go. And it was right next to the
Dallas Comedy Club. So we went and he ended up
getting a $65 beef rib, like theand the bone was like the size
of his forearm. Like it was crazy.

(15:01):
And he was like living his best life and couldn't eat.
And he got slices of brisket anda side of Mac and cheese and
whatever. So it was a big ass meal.
He had leftovers. He wanted to take it to go.
I was like, OK, but our flight is at 5 in the like we had to
get up at 5:00 AM. We had a 7:00 AM flight.
And I was like, you know, when are you going to eat this meat

(15:21):
between this moment and our really early flight?
Like are you going to eat it at midnight and like just get the
meat sweats like what's going on?
Because he was like, I can't eatanymore.
My stomach hurts. And he's like, no, I'm going to
take this home. And I was like right to the
hotel or what? And he's like, no, I'm going to
take it all the way home, like on the plane to my house.

(15:42):
And then I'm going to take it tomy parent's house that's like an
hour away. And I was like, John, are you
buying like a cooler bag for this meet?
Like where? And he's like, no, I'm just
going to put it in A to go box and like, who cares?
I'm going to put it in a the refrigerator while I sleep and
then on the plane, like it'll befine in A to go box.

(16:03):
And I was like, you're literallythis is the same guy.
If you remember a few episodes ago that tried to bring chili
through TSA and had to check hisbag.
So like this is like pretty normal behavior.
I guess I should have seen this coming but he doused it in like
a ton of BBQ sauce so it would quote soak in OK overnight

(16:27):
because they didn't. Taste the BBQ sauce but OK.
Sure, whatever, but they have good sauce.
And then he did it. He brought the meat in A to go
box through the TSA line. He put it in the overhead
compartment. He brought it all the way home
in the car. I don't know that he's eating it
yet, but he was like, it's fine.I was like, it's at room

(16:48):
temperature. It's in the danger zone of
growing bacteria. It's just meat.
Like it's a meat at room temperature.
You can't just leave that out and then eat it.
And he was like, no, it's fine. It's bad if it's not cooked
meat. It's fine if it's cooked meat.
And I was like, dude, you don't.No, I I was like, that's fucking
disgusting. What's going on?
Is that normal behavior? So the question is, how long can

(17:13):
you leave meat out and it still be good?
Right. Did you Google it?
What is the point at no return? Like is it an hour?
Is it a couple hours? Is it 10 minutes?
Google it. Can you leave feverish typing?
A beef rib out at room temperature?

(17:36):
Yeah, OK. Beef ribs, like most perishable
foods, should not be left out atroom temperature for more than
two hours. The danger zone for bacterial
growth is between 40° and 140°F,and bacteria can double in
number every 20 minutes within this range.
If the ambient temperature is above 90°, the safe time is

(17:56):
reduced to one hour. After these time limits, the
food should be refrigerated or discarded to prevent bacterial
growth and potential food borne illness.
Should I send this to him right now?
You should send it to him. Here's the thing.
Here's my rule. If are you actually sending it
to him right now? I'm sending it to him right now
because what if he eats it and dies?

(18:18):
And then I'm responsible becauseI didn't send it to him fast
enough, you know what I mean? Let's put it this way.
If I go to a party and they havea spread out and meat is one of
those things, really any food that's out there, I'll eat it
when I get there. I'm not eating it when I leave.
Right, right, right. And the same applies to bringing
it on a damn flight, which, by the way, where do you put it?

(18:41):
It's a plate of meat. It was.
It was wrapped in tinfoil, right?
No. It wasn't wrapped in anything on
the plane. No, it was in A to go box in a
plastic bag. Like there was no tinfoil, no
nothing, that's what. I'm saying, so that's even it's,
it's where do you even put that safely?
So like, let's say for argument's sake, leaving it out

(19:04):
isn't the thing that made it go bad.
It's still gathering everybody'sfucking gunk.
You're traveling with it 1500 miles across the country.
Honestly no. Oh my God.
He just responded already and said that is before it's cooked.
Literally it says no, no, that'safter it's cooked.

(19:34):
Maybe you can type to him after so we can keep doing.
It fine fine. I'm so stressed.
Like I'm so stressed. Imagine the amount of bacteria
he's ingesting. It's a lot.
Like I don't want to wish food poisoning on someone but I do
feel at some point he should learn his lesson and if it's non

(19:55):
life threatening food poisoning I almost feel like he should get
it so that this behavior stops in the future.
What's your answer though? How long would you wait to eat?
How long would I what wait to eat in general?
No, like the what we're talking about the rib, like what is,

(20:17):
what is the, what's the threshold for you?
Like not even an hour. Yeah, that's kind of if it's
just sitting out there, I could have a hard time.
It's not. Hot anymore?
I think the second it gets room temperature I get skeezed out.
Yeah, but when you're not eatingit, put it in the fridge.

(20:38):
What are you doing? He just said I appreciate the
info. I didn't know beef ribs is more
dangerous than any other food. He's just being an asshole, I
hope. You're not going to convince
him? Yeah, he will.
He'll have Botulism or something.
Isn't that for fruit? I don't know, you know,
salmonella, Botulism, you name it, hepatitis, He's getting all

(21:01):
of it. God, what a weird hill to die on
too. It's such a weird hill to die on
anyways. It's not the Great Depression.
Well, and kind of is, but you know.
But he's like, so I'm so excitedto eat it later.
Like our that thing was out for a total of six to seven hours in

(21:22):
A to go box in a plane and then in a car.
So from 5:00 AM to 10:00 AM minimum.
The day after it was cooked, correct?
Yeah. I can't.
I can't. It's not like you went to the
restaurant, they put it on a plate, you wrapped it and got on
the plane, which still would notbe great.

(21:46):
What a weird. What a weird thing.
A very, very weird thing I can'tthis is.
This is something we don't have to worry about as non meat
eaters anymore. But I do miss, I have to say,
like I, I do not really crave meat often.
Almost never. I think I I do feel a little
left out when it comes to like, barbecues.

(22:09):
Really just eat the sides. I went with him and just got
sides. Not enough people, I'm talking
like at A at a party at your friend's place.
Not enough people are doing likeit's very meat forward.
Not enough people are doing the the fun sides that I get
together. You can get at a restaurant, but
not. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Nobody's putting. Fun corn on or anything like

(22:30):
that anymore? Just have to bring our own.
Like that's when you bring stuffto the party, like, you know?
Yeah, you got to bring your own.BYOS, bring your own sides.
Bring your own sides. I like it.
I went to a Dodgers game while you were gone.

(22:50):
I think that I'm beginning to think that I'm bad luck.
Oh, for people losing, yeah, I mean join the club.
I'm beginning to think I'm bad luck because every time I go to
a sports match they lose. It could be soccer, it could be
baseball, it can be basketball, it can be hockey.
I rarely see the team I'm going to cheer on win.

(23:11):
If anything, it's not even close.
It's it's like they lose by a significant margin.
You're just here for the vibes. I'm just here for the vibes, but
I witnessed something that, you know, I feel like normally I
would laugh at something like this.
This was kind of pure discussed.We went to a concert a couple
weeks back, saw a guy just puking all over the place.

(23:33):
I think we talked about that on the podcast.
When I was in line for the bathroom leaving Dodger Stadium,
there was a man that really had to pee and he was about four or
five people ahead of me and he just couldn't stand the wait
anymore. So he just decided right there
in line, unzip the fly, pee right on the floor, just just

(23:56):
started drain in the main vein right there on the floor.
It was just and I mean, you know, he's, he's slammed 4 or 5
beers probably. It's a lot.
It's a lot coming out at one time and I don't understand it
on multiple levels. I've been there, dude.

(24:17):
I've had a bathroom emergency. I have pulled up on the side of
the highway several times. It happens.
We've all experienced it. You got to look around you.
Yeah, I'm not like it's embarrassing, but I'm going to
run over to the Bush. I'm going to run over to.
I'm going to run over to the thing I can pee off.
Of or the OR a trash can or likesomething.

(24:40):
Ask the front of the line like can I cut you?
I'm going to pee everywhere like.
Everybody would have been like, if he ran ahead to an empty
euro, yeah. And was just like, I'm so sorry,
I'm so sorry people be like really had to go.
Nobody would fight you on it. It's.
Better than peeing on people's feet.
Like you can't tell me that it wasn't splashing on people's

(25:01):
shoes and like their pant leg. It was just everywhere.
It's so crazy. That's so ridiculous.
You also said that someone threwup in your dad's shoes.
Yeah, some of my parents went to1/4 of July thing and somebody
just threw up right in his shoes'cause they were in a pool and

(25:23):
like the shoes were over to the side.
That's so crazy. Imagine like I'm so glad he saw
it happen or saw the puke beforehe put his shoes on.
But like imagine if you were just on autopilot putting your
shoes on and then there's puke in your shoe.
Like that's so like. When people put on their shoe

(25:43):
and there's like a spider inside, but it's.
Puke. Yeah, OK, well, yeah, that's
something that I'm actively terrified of constantly, but
it'll never happen to me 'cause I check my shoes like every time
I put them on, so. You you have a good habit of
that. Instead of a snake in my boot,
it's puke in my. Shoe.
There's a puke in my shoe. Yeah, so it was crazy.

(26:06):
It was crazy, but. People just lose decorum like
what's going on? It's it's very pandemic just
ended energy recently when I wasat the airport, I was going
through my TSA pre-check like speedy line.
And I feel like people forget they're in public.
Like maybe it was early in the morning and this woman was in

(26:29):
her own little world on little bubble.
But it's like she just burped inmy face.
Like we were in line putting ourbags on the conveyor belt to go
through the thing and she just burped in my face like, and then
she, no, she actually said, oh, sorry.

(26:49):
Because she like realized after she did it how horrendous it was
'cause I went what? Like I looked at her with such
an offended face and like waved the air because it was a burp in
my like you burped in my like she went up in my face like she
didn't do the. Blow thing, yeah.

(27:11):
I don't know, you know what I mean?
When people are like, yeah. Yeah, yeah, Yeah, it was.
I know. What you mean though I I I have
been experiencing many public farters recently like like you.
Smell it or hear it or both. Both like I here at work, in
fact, as I'm walking out of the bathroom just and I'm like, OK,

(27:34):
I'm literally right behind you. Oh yeah, you said at the movie
theater that guy farted on you. He like blocked the doorway yes,
and just farted on you. And I'm not talking like, oh, it
accidentally came in. He did like a leg lifting thing,
like you're forcing it out. I have to ask you like we don't

(27:55):
talk about farts or pooping everin our marriage, but have you
ever in your life lifted your leg to fart?
I I mean, maybe when I was a kid.
But like, has it ever been that serious where you feel like you
no, can't fart without lifting your leg?

(28:16):
Like are. Your ass cheeks now.
Are your are your ass cheeks sewn together like you have to
separate them? I just never in my life lifted a
fucking cheek to fart. That's crazy behavior.
I don't really understand it. No, I haven't.
It's also. So I haven't.
It's so performative and it makes me feel like he farted on

(28:38):
you on purpose. I know that's what I'm saying.
It is so prevalent. Do you think it's his kink?
Like he's like, loves to fart onpeople.
And then he was like, Oh, yeah. Maybe there is there is a guy on
TikTok that it's not normally mybrand of humor, but I this guy,
I think it's so funny. He, this guy will like go

(29:00):
through a park or a public placeand he won't go near somebody.
It's not like a, you know, in, in a Walmart where they're
throwing a gallon of milk on theground.
Everybody gets wet. He just walks in the general
vicinity of people and he has like a fart machine thing.
So he'll like lift his leg and then just keep walking.

(29:20):
And it's so the people's reaction to it.
It's so funny. It's so funny.
I don't know the guy's name. You'll have.
To let me just start to fart. I imagine having the balls to do
that, that's crazy. I, it made me think of something
the other day. I used to for fun when I was in
college and shortly after if I was with friends, I used to get

(29:44):
on an elevator and like if if there's a stranger on the
elevator so there's one other person on the elevator, I would
get in and stand on the same side as them and just to see.
Record. It no, it was just, it was for
it was just for fun. And some people are like, hi.

(30:05):
And some people didn't say anything.
And then other people like wouldmove themselves to the other
side. But I I have never been more
scared or nervous than when I helped a friend probably 10
years ago record a couple like social experiment prank videos.
Yeah, it was so uncomfortable. What did you do?

(30:30):
Like what was some of the stuff?This guy would he that we shot 1
where he would order an Uber andthen they'd get there and he
would just like try to put an obnoxious amount of things in
the car. Oh no.
And that was one. There was another one I helped

(30:52):
him shoot where he had a like a 30 foot selfie stick.
That one was actually pretty funbecause people liked, you know,
they wanted to like take a selfie with it just.
But I was so. Did he have to like, hold it out
the car? No, he never held out the car to
my. Actually, no, he didn't hold it

(31:12):
out of his own car. If he was at a, if he was in an
intersection on the sidewalk, he'd put it through like 3 cars
that were at the stoplight. And that was actually pretty fun
because like the footage turned out when people had a good time
with that one. But the other ones that it made
me so, so nervous. But on this same level, you, you

(31:33):
told me you had something to bring up about this too.
But I thought it was interestingthat you said something because
I have had this observation recently as well.
Is it just me or more people smoking now than they have in
the last 20 years? Listen, I get the state of the
world is crazy. So if you are the type of person

(31:53):
that copes with stress by smoking a cigarette, now is the
time to smoke them if you got them, I guess.
But it is on another level. And I'm, it's like inside people
have been like inside me smoking.
It's so difficult to get away from it again.
I thought we were on to just vaping and I never thought I

(32:16):
would yearn for the day for morepeople to vape.
I know, I think maybe all the former vapors are now just
smokers. Went back to just OG cigs.
Here's the thing I had a 5:00 AMflight or 530 or whatever AM
flight to go to Texas. So I my Uber came at 4:15 AM and

(32:42):
I was outside of my mom's building and there was the man
that I can't stand on a regular basis already awake at 4:15 AM,
some chain smoking in the front of the building.
And he was trying to like talk to me.
And I was like fuck off. Like get away from me.

(33:05):
I don't want to smell like smokeone at all. 2 at 4:15 in the
morning and 3:00 I'm going to have your fucking smoke on me
and go sit in a plane and just sit in the smell of your smoke.
Fuck off. Get away from my body like Oh my
God, it pissed me off so much. It's it.
It is inescapable. Right now, like did no one see

(33:29):
in school or on the news or documentaries of like the
smoker's lung and like what it looks like you're just slowly,
like you're inhaling rat poison at 4:15 in the morning.
You're in. You're for real, bro.
You needed to wake your body up that early so you could go
fucking smoke. Are you serious?

(33:50):
It's that. Serious is I feel like when we
were kids, the thing that really, really stuck with me was
how terrible smoking is. Like we all did DARE or some
version of DARE at some point where they're like don't do
drugs and don't do this and thatthe other.
And that was obviously a very prevalent message.
The anti smoking thing. You're right.

(34:11):
They showed you the black lung. They showed you all these
things. They brought in like physical
samples of this is what your lung looks like, This is what.
They showed you the ladies look like with the the.
Tracheotomy. Tracheotomy.
Yeah. And they even had those
commercials and I, it's crazy tome how many people clearly

(34:32):
didn't work on. Right.
It's like nuts. Although I suppose he's of a
generation. I think he's in his.
Do you think he's in his 60s? I don't fucking know.
Maybe he might be in his 40s andjust age like chicks.
That's crazy. Every second, every day.
But do you think it's just that generation, or do you think that

(34:55):
people our age are also doing it?
I think people our age are also doing it.
I would say like that guy we seequite a bit recently.
But I would say the majority of people I've seen smoking
recently are young. That's the crazier thing.
It's wild because it's all so expensive.
Like, and, you know, we're doinga lot of backwards things in the

(35:19):
government currently. I want to be surprised if we
bring back smoking sections in restaurants.
Yeah, when that was a thing. We're losing rights left and
right, so I wouldn't be surprised.
I can tell you I won't be eatingat a single restaurant that has
that happen ever. Isn't that wild, though?

(35:39):
When we were kids, you walk up to the host stand.
Oh, you smoking or none? And a lot of people are like,
whatever's fastest, wherever. Yeah.
No. Like how about different
restaurant? Luckily our family always said
non-smoking. I do that is crazy.
We always had to go in and say, you know, for, for non-smoking.

(36:02):
Isn't that a weird? Did you ever sit in a smoking
section? Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. I mean, we, we, it wasn't, we
didn't go out to eat very often.But every now and then it would
be like, well, how many? You look over in the smoking
section and it's like there's not many people in there right
now. And then, you know, you roll the

(36:23):
dice, but. You don't hindsight, right?
In hindsight, I wouldn't do it. It's just crazy that was even a
thing. I had a friend in high school
whose parents smoked inside her house all her life.
And how's she doing now? And I didn't know she's can't be
doing well. But I, I didn't know the first

(36:44):
time I came over and I walked inand I'm like, I'm so sorry.
And this is incredibly awkward. I have to leave.
Because you have asthma. Yeah, it was so weird.
I'm like, I got to go. I'm sorry.
Also, how do you exist in that space and not feel like you
immediately have to shower? Shower, get fresh air, paint the

(37:08):
walls because they're all yellowlike.
Also, good luck ever selling that house, you know.
Impossible. Impossible.
There's no way. Yeah.
Anyway, smoking, it's back, everyone, it's back.
I got to say, you know, we talk about Love Island a lot and we

(37:30):
won't get into it too much because, you know, we talk about
it, like I said, a lot. But it is interesting.
This season has been all over the goddamn place and it's kind
of crazy how much the people involved with the show are
having to say, hey everyone online, will you chill the F

(37:51):
out? Yeah, like I feel passionately
about reality TV, but I'm never ever, ever once imagine being
the person that's actually in someone's comment section
telling them to fuck off. Like I'll I'll say it on my own
podcast, like we've said before,or I'll express my opinion about
the character they're playing onthis reality show basically, but

(38:13):
I'm never going to be like D Ming them to kill themselves or
like. That's the insane part.
Or death threats or all this shit.
And but also on the same just usadjacent point, you can't tell
me there's been two Islanders that have been essentially
removed from the show because ofracial slurs that have surfaced.

(38:34):
I was on reality TV for .7 seconds and they did a
background check of everything I've ever said in my entire life
that's online and they sent me acopy of the report and it was
like 500 pages long and it had atranscript of every one of our
podcasts for like 7 years. You can't tell me that

(38:55):
production didn't know about theracial slurs.
Well, I, I, I kind of believe one of them.
One of them was a clip of a podcast.
That one's got to be pretty easyto find.
The other was an Instagram storythat was up for 24 hours and
then went down and somebody screenshotted it.

(39:17):
And then there is no like permanent record of it.
I guess that since that one story there are other instances
as well, but. Yeah.
Oh, I see. OK.
So it wasn't just the one story,it was multiple occasions that
she used that slur. So like, I see.
So to me, it wasn't just a 24 hour thing that disappeared.

(39:39):
I think it was like multiple iterations.
And it's like, OK, if this exists on the Internet in
multiple places, there's no way they didn't know.
I, I, I see what you're saying now.
I think at the end of the day, Ithink it's just they didn't,
they didn't spend the time to bethorough enough, you know,
probably. Did a base level of checking.

(40:00):
Isn't it just like an AI that runs that runs a Tran like a
search on Google? I would imagine, but you know,
nothing's perfect. And also you have to like the
the report. Think about the report that you
got when you just said you did that reality show or whatever it
was the background check was for.
It was 4050, sixty pages long, and somebody still has to read

(40:25):
through it. You know, I don't know.
It's it's it's weird. And yeah, people should be held
accountable for their actions and things they say.
I fully support that. At the same time, you know, we
do live in a world where people make mistakes.
And I also don't think that it'sworth telling people they should

(40:47):
die, right? Because just a little much.
People are coming for her head as though the only way justice
will be served, as if she dies like.
Right. And again, not condoning any of
the things that were said or anyof that, but I do think I'm
feeling weird as a fan, I guess is what I'm trying to say.

(41:07):
Because we watch this show and it's very easy to, I feel like
you and I have a healthy relationship with the people
that we watch. Like we know that they're real
people and we watch and we enjoythe drama and whatever.
But like imagine being cut off from the world and then everyone
very loudly universally decides that you're horrible and you

(41:33):
just get back to the real world and are over inundated with
hundreds of thousands of messages just like that is
insane. Yeah, it's crazy.
And it's like, imagine if peoplemobilize in this fashion for
like, actual good change in the world, right?

(41:53):
But no, people are mobilizing because a reality TV star set a
slur and they won't rest until she's wrecked for life.
It is. The double standard is insane.
It's like, OK, why don't you mobilize for positive change,
but you're just mobilizing because you want to ruin her
life. Yeah, there's there's.

(42:15):
Again, I'm not defending her, but I don't, I don't think she,
she didn't murder a family, you know, she said something that is
absolutely insensitive and she should not have said.
However, does she deserve for her whole life to be ruined?
No. No, like there's consequences to

(42:36):
things of of course. Right.
And she served. Her.
Consequences and she did you hear she lost her job?
Oh, I didn't hear that. I mean, yeah, that that can
happen. So right, so then there you go.
You like she got her karma or whatever.
Like, yeah, the the universe solves it and it's it's just,

(42:57):
yeah, the going the extra mile of telling someone they should
end their life is just insane tome.
It is so crazy. People are so like, imagine that
being your day-to-day. Like what you're worried about
is making sure she feels she knows that you hate her.
Like OK. And to your point, I think it's
an insane reality to be in. Where we don't hold elected

(43:22):
officials to the same standard, right?
That is so hard to wrap one's head around that's.
Exactly. Not to get political, but you
know, it is what it is. All right.
Are you ready to Jude? I guess which one am I even
doing? There's so many things.

(43:43):
That's up to you. You know the Jude has to flow
through you. I can't pick it for you.
Maybe I'll do both. Whatever summon.
Summon Judy herself and do whatever one she tells you to
do. Judith Sheindlin.

(44:12):
On 4th of July, we've gone over the fact that it's bad for dogs.
We've gone over the fact that it's horrible for dogs that are
nervous and they shake all nightand there's just like fireworks
going off and everyone needs to take medication and horrible.
Now add in the fact that half ofour fucking city burnt to the
ground, it is still not recovered, people are still

(44:35):
displaced and don't have homes. Hey guess what?
Has it rained since then? I'm going to give you a big fat
literally no absolutely not. It's dry as fuck here.
The air has barely recovered. There's areas of our city where
you still have bad air quality from the fires.
Are you fucking kidding me? There's hundreds if not

(44:55):
thousands of people without a fucking house that left with the
clothes on their back that are still trying to rebuild their
lives. Half the city is still burnt to
the ground. Half the city has still bad air
quality from the fires. We're still rebuilding
everything. People are rebuilding their
lives. And yet has it rained?

(45:15):
No, absolutely not. So everything still dries.
Fuck. Everything's still horrible fire
hazard and people are shooting off fireworks on 4th of July 1.
It's already illegal in California.
Two, half the city burnt down four months ago and you just
conveniently don't give a shit. You could literally burn
someone's whole house down because if you're you want to do

(45:37):
your stupid fucking 4th of July little like rocket, see.
America. Yeah, Celebrating what, first of
all? And then I was already pissed
off that you said there was a shit ton of people still doing
fireworks that are like putting everyone in danger.
All of Los Angeles you could start another huge ass fire.

(45:58):
And then a huge ass fire startedone mile from our house in Santa
Clarita on a hillside. Why?
Because of some idiot setting off fireworks next to a giant
hill of dry ass brush. What is wrong with you?
Use your fucking brain, are you?So I need you to take that Roman

(46:22):
candle that you're about to pullit on the sidewalk and set
everyone's house on fire and allof your neighbors are going to
burn into a fire like you're ruining people's lives.
And I need you to shove the Roman candle up your ass.
Judgement to the plaintiff. Take you and your whole fucking
family of people that think thisis acceptable behavior and shove

(46:46):
it up your ass. That would hurt.
Yeah. Did we lose the judgement to the
plaintiff section? No, we didn't lose it.
We didn't lose it. Hey, thank God, I'm so over it.

(47:08):
Everyone's pissing me off. The Internet connection's
pissing me off. I'm over it.
OK, we just pretend like it didn't happen, Honey.
Judgement of the plaintiff. I did it already.
You didn't hear it? I did, but talking about the

(47:28):
Internet connection and everything.
OK, judgement to the plaintiff. Shove your Roman candle up your
butt hole and stop endangering our entire neighborhood of
people. Our entire community is on the
line because you need your fucking sparkler.
You need to have a sparkler in your hand for the country.

(47:51):
Pool. Very, very cool.
It's listen, there's if you wantto shoot fireworks off legally
and safely, there's many places you can live and do that.
This is not one of them. It's time to move.
Bye bye. Good day to you.
Anyway. We live to have this argument

(48:14):
another year. Next year, same thing, same same
argument, different time. Imagine losing your house
because your neighbor lit off a sparkler.
Like what is going on? I I would not be able to turn
the other cheek. I would light their house on
fire. Yeah, and shoot a Roman.
Handle into their into their mailbox.

(48:35):
Well, now that we've celebrated America, everyone, I hope you
have a good week. Be careful out there.
There's still fireworks going off.
People have the leftovers. Keep an eye on your eyes and
your limbs and your toes and your fingers.
And don't just put your meat in the fridge.
OK, just put it in the fridge. Yeah, don't eat room temp meat.

(48:57):
That's crazy. There's a lesson in that fridge
or meat. I'm going to get that tattooed.
See you next week. Bye.
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