Technical Difficulties...Please Stand By

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Hey, imagine that. Two millennials doing a podcast
to avoid legalizing the Purge. Yeah, probably because they
can't afford therapy. This is Mostly true.
Opinions. Hello everyone, mostly true

(00:21):
opinions. Oh God.
Sorry. Wow.
Starting out of the gate with the most high quality episode
you've ever heard? Oh.
Look, wait, is my mic. Even working.
Can you hear me? I can hear you.
Good you I fucking hate technology.

(00:42):
I I am becoming an old man. We are.
We're working remotely today on the Mostly True Opinions podcast
because K to K, you are in San Francisco, everyone's favorite
city in the world. The city of what?

(01:04):
I don't even know what it's called the City of Lights.
That's somebody else. That's New York.
I don't know. Let me Google it.
City of Bridges. The City of Starbucks.
Oh yeah, it is. I mean that.
This is where? No.
Starbucks. That's Seattle.
What am I thinking, God? Why does why isn't there Just so

(01:29):
good and oh Golden Gate City theGolden City?
Well, there you go. Let me tell you, it is not
golden. It is Gray and trashy.
Oh no. Oh no.
I am here to do a game show for Google.
I am going to live my Steve Harvey dreams and host Family

(01:53):
Feud for tech Bros on the Googlecampus and it can obviously only
go well, I assume. Well, I was thinking about it
last night because Google and YouTube and they're all that
kind of the same company, They they laid off a ton of people
over the last couple of months. So this is probably this is

(02:17):
probably the party. Yes.
This is probably the party to boost everyone else who's left
mood, so no pressure. But these people are in hell and
you're coming and you're going to either brighten their day or
they're going to want to leave. So no pressure.

(02:38):
Oh my God. So I'm the What is it like when
they hit you in the heart with aneedle with it has adrenaline in
it when you're dying. I'm the needle.
That's the thing. When they resuscitate you with
like, the the shot of adrenaline, no.

(03:00):
Isn't that a thing? And it probably is.
I'm just wondering how I get my hands on one for today.
To live, yeah. Yeah, just to get through
another goddamn day. Yeah, it's been a lot lately,
but such as every episode of this podcast is.

(03:21):
I would like to say though, I think we've been specifically
through it, like this weekend and stuff.
We were preparing our whole homefor photos and we essentially
almost fully moved out of it. And you were on your hands and
knees. I was.
I shaved each stair individuallywith your beard trimmer, and I

(03:49):
shaved our carpet so it looks brand new because the cats, as
we've been over previously on the pod, wrecked it.
Yeah, as cats do, and that's as our final cats do.
I was thinking about that because you use, like you said,

(04:10):
my beard trim around the stairs.Do you think I should use that
thing again on my face or shouldis it time to just toss it?
I think that specific head maybejust soak it in alcohol, it's
it's metal, so like once you clean it properly or like soak

(04:33):
it in like mouthwash or something, you know, I don't.
I think it's fine. Would you feel the same if it
was your razor? If it was like one of those
disposable, it's not like a disposable one.
It's like a heavy duty one. Yeah, it's like a.
Beard. Whatever.
Get a new one then I don't. Care.

(04:53):
It's a Phillips, It's a Phillips, Norelco Stair Shaver.
How? Yeah, first of all, Shark Tank.
It saved me so much time insteadof using regular scissors so.
Wait a second, hang on, why didn't you make a TikTok shop
video with it? Like, hey FYI, you might use

(05:14):
this on your face, but if you have cats that have been tearing
up your carpet, you can use it on the carpet.
Buy it here Link. You're welcome.
I just made us millions of dollars.
OK, I do think that it's not a very common problem.
I don't think a lot of people need to shave their stairs.

(05:39):
This is the part of Shark Tank where you just you just ruined
your own pitch because you're supposed to come in and go,
Yeah, the market for this. In the United States, there are
180 million cat owners. 100 million of those live in an
apartment with carpet. OK, well, I may not have made us

(06:00):
$100 million on stair shavers, but I do think I probably got us
a couple grand extra on the saleof our house because people
aren't going to lowball us needing carpet replaced.
I mean, unless that's a personalpreference, then pop off.

(06:21):
But you know, I don't think they're going to look at it and
be like, oh God, we can't, we couldn't live here.
Could I have done these repairs while we lived there to enjoy
living with nice stairs? Yes, technically that is
something I could have done. But because after seeing it, I'm

(06:41):
like, wow, I we could have had nice stairs this whole time, but
the cats would have promptly, with their middle fingers up,
gone and fucked it right up again.
And I would have had to give myself a lobotomy from anger.
So it is nice the cats are out. They're living at my mom's, not

(07:03):
just out on the street. They're gone.
They've gone to college. Yeah, they're gone.
We And so they're at least out. They're not going to ruin the
house while we're trying to sellit.
So if you know anyone that wantsa two-bedroom, 2 1/2 bathroom
townhouse in Santa Clarita and doesn't mind the neighbors that

(07:26):
we've ranted about for 75 episodes, let us know.
Yeah, I think I'm against, as a general rule of thumb, selling
anything that's worth over $50.00 to somebody that I know.
No. Here's why I'm not against it.
Because it's not like a handshake deal or buddy buddy.

(07:51):
And we're not. To be clear, if you're listening
and you do want a two-bedroom, 21/2 bathroom townhouse in Santa
Clarita with questionable neighbors that are children, we
will just be taking the offer with the highest amount of money
we have it. If you give the same offer, if
you're a podcast listener and you give the same offer as
someone that's not a podcast listener, then we'll pick you if

(08:13):
it's the same dollar amount. But if someone else gives a
higher dollar amount, sorry buddy.
Should have discussed this before.
We should have discussed it before because you just shared
an opinion that on behalf of thetwo of us.
And I don't agree. I don't agree, OK.

(08:34):
I'm just saying, OK, so if we let's say we're selling our
house for $1,000,000, which to be clear, we're not.
And two people came in with offers, one we know, one we do
not. The one we know offers
$1,000,000 plus an extra 10,000.The people we don't know offer

(08:55):
us $1,000,000. I would want to take the
$1,000,000 from the people we don't know.
Explain your logic. I don't want to deal with it.
I don't want to. I don't want to text from
somebody six months in. Hey, do you remember when you
lived here? Where's the water?
Water shut off. Hey, when you lived here, did
the thing make noise? Like blah blah blah.
Did the shower do this? Did the sliding door make this

(09:19):
weird sound? Can you come over and check on
the thing? You would know better that which
light switch does. I don't.
Soon as we sign the papers I want to be done.
You know what I mean? I definitely hear you.
I just like I was thinking that that that people have common
sense and wouldn't message us about our old house, but.

(09:42):
I mean. The people who are listening
right now probably have common sense people that we're related
to and you know, friends of ours, they they may be a little
like step over the line because they know us, You know what I
mean? Sure.
I don't know. It's a risky thing.
They say never to sell a car to somebody, you know, for that

(10:04):
same reason. Because if that car shits the
bed six weeks into the ammonia, they're going to blame you and
it's going to be weird and like,you know what I mean?
It's just going to be, like, so awkward if we do sell to someone
that we know and then they find like, the skeletons in our
walls, like it'll just be so inconvenient.
Are there skeletons in our walls?

(10:24):
No, but OK, wow, I can't believeI'm bombing my own podcast.
You have to tell me if you've been burying people in the
walls. I wish.
There's always money in the banana stand, $250,000 lining
the walls. I have to say though, we spent a

(10:50):
lot of the weekend and like we've said recently, we've been
packing and getting things readyand I went last night to the
house to pick up some things andwalked in and I don't.
I think I don't like being on our own home at this point
because. Honey.

(11:10):
You're so dramatic. It feels.
It. Felt like I was walking into
someone else's house because there's no sign of life right
now, OK? Like all of our, you know, the
pets toy bin is gone. The the thing on the counter
that has our mail in it is packed away.

(11:32):
There's no sign that we live there and that it's it looks
like a Airbnb right now. You know what I mean?
OK, unpopular opinion. Yeah.
Because there's only two of us and you just shared the
opposite. I love.
It I'm not saying that I don't, that I don't like it to some

(11:53):
extent, but having lived there with our things in their places
and now they're not, it feels weird.
You just said you just said I don't like being there and then
you and then I'm not saying I don't like it.
You just said you don't want to be there.
Well, look, I'm allowed to splithairs, OK?

(12:15):
OK. Well, I think it's streamlined
and calming and I love that it'sdecluttered and I like that.
We purged a lot and I like that.There's not.
I like that. There's not cat hair and cat
smell and I'm loving it so all. Right.
Well, you get to be the one to tell all of our animals that

(12:35):
they're not welcome to come backhome.
The dogs, you get to have the talk.
OK, well, the dogs can come back, but they better not.
I don't know, they better not get their little hairs
everywhere. Or they.
Will. Well, the deep clean fail, the

(12:59):
Judge Judy moment. Or I guess it wasn't the Jude
because justice was served. But they're coming back.
Fingers crossed that it's not a horrible experience again.
Either it will be better, or they're going to send the exact
same people and they're going tosteal things and do an even
worse job, but we'll get a storyout of it either way.

(13:25):
Sorry, you froze. I froze are.
You back? Yeah, you're back.
OK. Yeah, the wow, the the Internet
at Google is really not that great.
Yeah, that's been an exciting update for me.
Love it. I just wanted to bring something
up to you because you've been putting on a bit of AI.

(13:52):
Don't want to say a front, I think you really believe it.
But sometimes we'll go in to tour houses and sometimes not
all of the finishes are what we want.
Yeah. And that's fine.
And we've both agreed that we will absolutely not be moving
into a home that has a single stitch of carpet.

(14:14):
We will be fixing it before movein.
If these things, if there's carpet in a home, there will not
be carpet upon move in. We've both agreed on that and we
feel great about it. Then there's other things like
painting cabinets or like vanities in the bathrooms or
these types of things. Not a deal.

(14:36):
Or painting the whole home. Not a not a deal breaker.
We're willing to do those things.
But when I say we're. Willing to do them.
I mean, I'm willing to hire someone to do them.
You mean for some of it? I believe like painting the
kitchen cabinets or changing outa vanity.

(14:57):
I believe that you think that wewill do those things.
And then I would like to invite you stop.
Don't. I would like to invite you.
To go fuck myself. What?
No. Your words I would like to
invite you to think about 72 hours ago.

(15:18):
When we went to Lowe's, we. Went to Lowe's to purchase a
door because we cut a cat sized hole.
We cut a cat sized hole out of our door, the Harry Potter
closet under the stairs we used for the litter box.

(15:40):
So we cut a cat door into the door, Yeah, for sale of our
home. We were going to replace that
door so that someone could buy our house without a cat sized
hole. And we went to Lowe's and we
bought a door and we stood in the door section.
We measured the door. I measured the door.

(16:00):
Then you measured the door. Then we talked about the.
Door. We went to the store.
We stood there, we got. We said, oh, we're going to get
a painted one. Great.
We're going to get the one that opens from the left.
Great. We're going to get the one
that's this size. We're going to get the one that
has two panels in it and it's. We lifted the door.

(16:21):
It barely fit in the car. We twine tied the door.
We drove with the trunk open back home, unloaded the door.
It's the wrong door. We can't use the door, so then
we had to repackage the door, put it back in the car, tie it
again. Somehow we lost the receipt in
12 hours, drive back and return the door, and we didn't replace

(16:46):
it. So we also took the other door
off and then had to put the other door back on instead of
putting the right door just nextto it to see or the new door.
Sorry, I've also said the word door like 18,000 times right now
and. I'm annoyed.
Door. But I don't go Do you want to

(17:11):
interject? No, I'm letting you finish.
I. Think.
That part of growing up and growth, this is going to become
an overarching theme. I think that part of growing up
and growth is knowing what you don't know and not being with

(17:33):
our heads in the clouds thinkingwe can do any type of renovation
even if it's like so simple seeming because the couple times
we've done anything it has gone down in flames.
See. I think there's a reason for

(17:54):
that. OK, honey, I don't think we can
be trusted. Also, it's one thing to be
trusted on our townhouse like starter home.
I don't want to fuck something up in our like new that first of
all home we haven't found yet. But like our new lovely home, I

(18:16):
don't want to have a jank ass job done by yours truly, you
know. OK.
So a couple things. Number one, I never said that I
want to do all of the work. Never said that.
I. Also, didn't just say that.
Never. You did rewind the tapes, so I
never said that. Secondly, I think that I

(18:40):
personally, I believe that we can do whatever we set our minds
to and it's kind of disappointing to hear that you
don't agree. I'm saying based on the facts
and the situations at hand of the time we tried to replace
finishes in our bathroom and nearly ended in divorce.

(19:02):
I don't know, but no, you just. That's a little extreme.
You OK? You were bleeding by the end.
There was a lot. Yeah, but OK, here's the thing.
When it comes to home improvement and certain
technology things, you have the ability to do all of them.

(19:22):
But the the moment you hit a snag, you become enraged.
Whereas I am a Peach. I was just.
You were like you were swearing up a storm and like hitting

(19:44):
things. I don't.
So. And then the time that we did
peel and stick tile and peel andstick countertop at our old
apartment, we almost burned it to the ground.
And that's just. Stickers.
Imagine if we fucked up paint. Also, we always here's we always

(20:09):
tour places and like apartments or rentals or homes and we're
we're like, oh, you can tell that's been painted over.
It's the paint job is bad or like it's sticky.
It's bad. I have not painted enough stuff
in my lifetime for our cabinets to not immediately look like
that. I get it.

(20:29):
I totally get that. And I think mostly I agree with
you on all of this stuff. My point is, if it's something
simple and relatively low cost and relatively low risk, I might
like to try one or two things. Do you consider the door that we
just replaced one of those simple times?

(20:53):
Because we'll be right back that.
And that I was like. Yeah, we can get a door.
They sell doors across the street.
We can do this and we went and did it and round trip probably
wasted three hours and the same door is on and we had to return
it and thank God they took our money.

(21:14):
About the journey, not the destination you know.
Hello. OK.
I said it's about the journey, not the destination, you know?
Yeah. Sure, I've had so much fun

(21:37):
failing at these things. So it's gonna.
Be OK? Well, look, I I will do.
Barely any work then. So what do you feel qualified
for? Light switches outlet covers,

(22:04):
paint, no. No, no, hold on.
By light switches you mean the cover, not the electricity.
Yeah, yeah. Anything electrical or plumbing,
I'm like that specifically. Let somebody else do it.
Yeah, OK, fine. What about you?

(22:25):
What do you feel qualified for? Nothing.
That's why I'm going to hire someone.
Not a single. We'll be right back.
Well. We tried people.
Why do we sound different, you might ask?

(22:46):
A moment of not silence for our new audio quality that has been
restored because I'm back in LA and we're back home.
If it echoes a little more, it'sbecause our house is legally
empty. We're recording in it Echo, but
I flew back from San Francisco and we're recording the other
half of the podcast because the Internet shit, the fucking bed

(23:11):
while I was in the hotel. Thanks a lot, Marriott.
I thought you liked Marriott. Thanks.
Bon Voy rewards. I do, and I've never had this
problem to be fair. Well, Marriott, get your fucking
shit together. I do like Marriott usually, but

(23:32):
yeah, the Internet shit, the bed.
And then it was like buffering. And we're like, this is going to
be a giant turd episode if we don't stop now.
I got to be honest with you, I am.
I'm happy. We took a brief pause earlier
today and picked up where we're at now because I had figured out
a time for us to do this this morning and it was great.

(23:54):
Like, there's no reason we couldn't have done it right when
we were starting to have Internet issues and all of that.
I don't know if you noticed people started coming in the
room I was using at work, which.Disregarding.
Literally, I'm in there. I have headphones in.
I'm staring at a computer. What do you think I'm doing?

(24:15):
People just kept coming in. Oh, I'm sorry If you're going to
come in. If you must come in, shut up.
Right your body entering the room is enough.
Yeah, but then the everybody's coming and go, oh, sorry, I'm
just gonna be oh, where did I put that?
Oh, I think it might be mine. I don't need the monologue.
Right. Just come in or don't.

(24:35):
One of my least favorite things is when people narrate their
actions. Oh God, out loud.
It's the worst. We don't need to narrate.
And who is it for? Right, So did.
What happened then? So that was happening.
And then on top of that there were several people, I think
maybe three people in total today that I was texting to get

(24:58):
a hold of work related people. OK?
Jesus, man, motherfucker, honey,the dog has no toys because
they've been packed. So now he's bothering me anyhow.
He's too small to know. You're a good boy.
OK, Maybe I'll pack you in a boxanyhow.
OK, so there was three people I was trying to get a hold of

(25:19):
today who I texted individually where they were not responding.
No response. No response.
No response. I'm like, what is going on?
Are my messages not going through?
I looked at all the messages at the bottom where it says
delivered, but then also where it says, you know if somebody's
in do not disturb, it'll show you.
It'll say they have their notifications turned off.

(25:41):
Nope, none of that. And then they all started
responding to group threads thatI'm also in.
And you're like, what the? I'm like, what the fuck is going
on? Does no.
One, think about that when OK, if someone's texting me and we
have an Instagram DM and we havea TikTok DM going, if they start
responding to me on Instagram orTikTok but they haven't

(26:04):
responded to my text, I'm like, well, I know you're on your
phone, but I think about that. I don't respond to someone's
Instagram DM if I haven't responded to their text.
Unless I'm about to do both right then, because then I worry
that they think I'm specificallyignoring the other message, even
though we have multiple platforms going.
To be clear, when I send a text message, I never expect an

(26:30):
immediate response. If I needed an immediate
response, I would call you, but it makes me feel like a crazy
person when you're responding toother text messages I don't
understand. Well, it's a clear and direct
message that you are not at the top of the priority list then.
Correct. And it's so in in that it is

(26:52):
essentially the middle finger. Correct.
And that's where I have a hard time with it.
So did you go hunt these people down?
I sure did. And did you say 1?
Of them I was talking to for like 20 minutes and they're
speaking and blah blah, blah. And then the second they stop
and I start talking, they pick up their phone and I literally

(27:14):
stop talking and I go, you realize I'll wait, waited for
them to look up from their phoneand I go, you realize that
fucking makes me go insane for multiple reasons.
Number one, I'm speaking to you.I we're in a conversation.

(27:35):
I didn't just walk to you. I didn't run into you in the
hallway. And then, borderline, I didn't
just walk into you in the hallway and you were busy and I
tried talking to you. That's a different story.
We're sitting down, We're in a room by ourselves.
I'm having a conversation with you.
You pick up your phone. Nobody's even calling you.
It's not like it, you know, like.
You're checking your Instagram DMS?

(27:55):
And not only does that make me crazy, but you're on your phone
right now in front of me, so I know you saw my fucking text
earlier that you didn't respond to.
Yeah, that shit drives me. Ludicrous.
Ludicrous drives you. Ludicrous.
Yes. Is that.
Is that all right? Drives me insane.

(28:15):
I'll let it slide. I'm ludicrous.
Insane. Drives me insane.
See, I'm losing it today. I think it's the situation is
ludicrous. I don't know if you can be
ludicrous, but who knows? Tell that to Ludicrous.
You know what I'm saying? Yeah.
Anyhow, that shit drives me insane.
I oh, I've had more way more stressful days than today, but I

(28:42):
didn't sleep well last night andtoday it was a lot of it was the
pile up of a lot of small thingsthat made me feel like I'm an
insane person. But none of them were big enough
to be the the thing that you lost your mind at someone of
four. No, and I had to keep telling
myself that because I I almost snapped.

(29:03):
If I'm being honest. Please be honest, it is called
mostly. And not in the sense of like you
need to call the cops. Nothing like.
That I don't know if anyone was worried about you going to.
Jail when you say you know, I almost snapped.
Sometimes people infer. I guess the Snapped is a docu

(29:23):
series about murder. Yeah, there we go.
So. I'd I haven't drank.
I don't really drink much caffeine anymore and I felt like
all day I've had a caffeine headache.
I don't know what that means. Maybe my body is now producing
caffeine as a result of rage. Is that right?
Anyhow, scientific study point being, we started off the day

(29:46):
with. We should do this more often.
First half for like in the firstpart of the day and then the
second-half in the evening just to see how things fit together.
Things got worse. We could do we could do a new
podcast called AMPM. It's honestly a really good
idea, but it sounds like a lot of work.

(30:08):
We have so many good ideas that we've just accidentally shared
with the masses, and they're going to get stolen someday.
Yeah, no, they definitely are. But thankfully we've shared most
of them on this podcast. Copyright.
And you know, it's intellectual property if I say it out loud,
right? And then I said copyright, so.

(30:28):
So we're double jeopardy. We are fine.
We're totally OK. Anyhow, how was your flight?
That's. Great.
There was turbulence and I tightened my seat belt and.
And you flew united. Yeah.
You're totally OK. Well, I flew United and Alaska.

(30:48):
Oh, you flew Alaska back? In the same day.
That is, you are. Fucking.
Asking for it? Oh my God.
Risky. So I'm OK and I hosted a Family
Feud game show for Google and itwas fine.
I'm writing something down that I want you to remember 'cause

(31:11):
this seemed. Like, no.
No, no, I don't want to forget it.
All right. Well, it seemed like I started
to speak. And then.
You started to. That's why I clarified 'cause I
just had that. No, that's good because I am
starved for new jokes because lately nothing is funny and I
can't experience joy anymore. But that's for another time I.
Can't hear the laughter anymore.Also between the beginning of

(31:32):
the pod and now, I had therapy, so there's that.
And did it work? Still waiting on the results.
The results are in and she said that I am a mess I.
Don't know. That's fine.
Was I right about Google? What was your prediction?

(31:52):
And how you were going into likea like a contentious place
because of the layoffs and everything?
Oh yes, it seemed like it was a big kumbaya and they had been
lubed up all day. We were the last event of a big

(32:13):
corporate day of events, seminars and shit.
So after they had sat through like 7 hours of seminars, there
was we were successfully a lot of serotonin because they were
just happy that it wasn't another PowerPoint slideshow.
Yeah, that makes sense. That's.

(32:33):
Good. So it worked in that sense.
But lot of Bros, Lot of Bros at.The Google.
Lot of tech Bros with Henley's on.
With Henley's. It was casual day.
Wow. There were costumes but.
There were costumes. Yeah 'cause it was Family Feud,

(32:55):
so we were all 70s. I realized that you had to wear
one. I didn't know anybody else had
to. Yeah, OK.
That's why it was important thatI be on theme, because everyone
else was going to be. Themed, That makes sense.
It. Makes sense?
Fine. I did see another There's
something is going on. I'm not trying to make anybody

(33:16):
paranoid, but with the flying thing, another crazy story
today. This time, not in America.
Oh, OK. Unless I'm mistaken, but I'm
pretty sure that's the case. There was a flight that just
dropped, just dropped out of theair, what for a bit, and then

(33:36):
like they caught air again. Something.
I don't really know the specifics of it at this point,
but it. Doesn't say online.
Well, I can look it up. I just didn't want to delay us.
Hang on. But you can't bring me 1/2 baked
story after I just got off a flight.
Well, I was gonna give you the juicy details.
So you're saying it falling fromthe sky wasn't the juicy part?

(33:56):
Here we go. OK.
It was a plane traveling to fromSydney to Auckland, so
Australia, New Zealand. Yellow, OK.
I was like and Auckland is in what country?
So they experienced a technical event, that's the airline term.

(34:18):
When I have a meltdown, I call it a technical event.
And essentially it fell out of the sky.
It did not fall into the ground like it fell.
It was like, you know, dropping.And then it picked air back up
that again technical event. But 50 people were injured.
Yeah, probably. And there were stories online

(34:41):
today about people coming out ofthe bathroom like they were in
the bathroom. It happened, they come out and
now they're the a mess, but they're just bloody all over.
There were people that hit the ceiling so hard they broke their
bones like it was bad. Oh my God.
So basically every single personthat didn't have a seat belt on
at the moment was fucked. Up.

(35:01):
And then people are saying like the people that were wearing
their seatbelts are saying this don't take that the seat belt
light. Pay attention to it.
If you're sitting down, have it on because you never know of
shit like this is gonna happen. And then you're just yielded to
the ceiling. So there's that, and then.
Wait, what airline was it? It was LAT AM Latim.

(35:23):
It's not a American one from Sydney to Auckland and then
there was all kinds of reports today that came out that they so
Boeing is the manufacturer of a lot of the planes that are
having problems in all the different.
Airlines. And came out today that some

(35:46):
people were like when they serviced the airplanes, the
Boeing planes, they used Dawn dish soap to as lubricant for
some maintenance and that they were like that's that is not
advised And then they were usingthere's like to check gaps where
they're not supposed to be gaps or whatever they were using

(36:08):
hotel cards like key cards what.Do you mean to check gaps to see
if it's bigger than a key card? Yeah.
So it's like this is the we're getting on planes that fly miles
into the sky. Also that are put together like
IKEA furniture. That are apparently put together
like IKEA furniture and the the main so far the main reasoning

(36:34):
for all this is, well, we're having staffing problems.
So because of staffing problems we can't do these routine checks
as often as we'd like to. Things like that, and it's.
So then, OK, OK. But when you feel like if you're
part of the, like, crew that is doing these routine checks and
you see this negligent shit going on, that blood is on your

(36:56):
hands if people die. You would think there'd be some.
Whistleblowers in the crowd and say something before hundreds
and thousands of people are transported on these flying
death traps. You would think.
There's people all over Tiktok that no longer fly in certain
like planes. I don't blame like the the.

(37:17):
Yeah, and former Boeing employees are like coming out
all over the place saying they're not safe.
I don't blame them. I guess we should start checking
what type of plane we go on. What's weird is like, 'cause the
last time we flew, well, not notyou, obviously.
You flew literally today. I looked.
When you go to book it and it doesn't even tell you you.

(37:40):
Said there's a way you can checkafter you book.
Yeah, so there's a couple websites.
I think Flight Tracker is one. You can plug in your flight
confirmations and flight number and all that.
It'll tell you closer to the dayyou're actually flying what kind
of plane you're gonna be on. But the problem is, by the time
you get to that point, you're already.
And we're not the type of peoplethat are gonna spend 400 more

(38:01):
dollars rebooking. No, no.
So I guess you could technicallybe check a week before the
flight and then rebook if you don't like the plane.
I think what I'm going to start doing, and I'm not trying to,
you know, be insensitive to anyone that's had a rough go on
the planes. I'm going to start wearing a
body Cam so that I'm always recording, so that if anything

(38:27):
happens, I got it. You know, I got it for legal
reasons. Also got it for TikTok reasons.
Two things can be true. Do body cams survive falling out
of the sky? I'm sure that there's some,
there's some that do like Black Box.
Yeah, yeah. Well, if you look at like,
there's a bunch of GoPro videos online of people skydiving and
the camera falling off and somehow they find it.

(38:50):
So no one died on this? On this No.
And how did they end up landing?Was it in a like they drifted to
the ground? I think it no, I think it was a
relatively like they were flyingright.
Plane just started dropping out of nowhere.
So imagine in the in the IT was nose diving actually.

(39:11):
Imagine in the cockpit it was yeah, imagine in the cockpit
they were like pressing 1000 buttons and then like 30 seconds
later it like leveled up resumesto normal.
And then they went to their normal location.
Believe so, or you know they landed safely regardless, but.
That's crazy, not wild. Anyway, happy flying everyone.

(39:33):
Cool. We did get a mail time.
Oh, and after mail time we have Unsportscenter.
Oh. But go ahead, do.
You know what? Let's do that first.
Now. Sure.
Let me see if I can find the dumb thing.

(39:55):
We're so off today. I'm sorry.
This is a regrettable episode. We went to sports this weekend.
We went to a sporting event. Local BMO Stadium LAFC.

(40:19):
If you're unfamiliar, it's a soccer team.
Wow. Look at you.
They play well, Los Angeles Football Club, so one could say
it's football. I would.
I'm becoming that guy. Did you know that?
I didn't know till we went to Dick's Sporting Goods to get me
a shirt. I didn't know what LAFC stood

(40:40):
for. Really.
That's like like crazy. OK, well, I didn't.
I did know that Will Ferrell's apart owner because I see him on
Tik. T.O.K And we saw him at the
game. He was at the game.
He stood up on the Jumbotron. He was sitting across from us in
better seats. We went with our very good
friend and friend of Pod, also named Katie, and it was

(41:06):
exhilarating at first. We had a great time.
We saw a Falcon fly. Ollie.
Ollie the Falcon did a big open.It was amazing.
Ollie was wearing a hat. They let him fly around the
stadium to open the game, notable that he was being held

(41:27):
by soccer legend Mia Hamm. Sure, yeah.
And I would like to own up to the fact that I did not know it
was Mia Hamm and I thought it was Ollie's handler, lady
handler, Falcon handler. I thought it was Handler ham.
Handler ham. And so it did cause pain to

(41:53):
Katie's soul, because she was a big Mia Hamm fan is but not past
tense. You knew who Mia Hamm was.
I know the name Mia Hamm and I know that she is famous for
soccer. Well, yeah, then.
There you. Go, but I don't know her face.
That's OK, so. I think it's understandable.
When she was seen holding a Falcon, I just thought that's

(42:14):
the Falcon lady, but I think it permanently upset Katie so we
might be on the rocks. Oh, we didn't realize that she
had posters in her room, you know?
That's OK. It I tried to compare it to
something for me emotionally, and it does feel like if someone

(42:34):
didn't know who Justin Timberlake was, I'd be like
Honey, a poster in her room. I feel like it might be on that
level. OK.
Well, by that logic, Mia Hamm and Justin Timberlake are on the
same level I suppose. Maybe.
She's Is she not internationallyrenowned?

(42:58):
I suppose so. OK.
So I don't know. I might even be talking myself
out of it. I one might like.
Now, the more that I think aboutit, you might be able to argue
that she's more famous than Justin Timberlake.
OK, relax. Can look up their * meter on
IMDb. Because Mia hamm's on IMDb.

(43:19):
Sure, I bet she's on IMDb. Isn't that only for actors and
stuff? No, it's for anyone that's ever
appeared on television or film. Oh, so like, you know, like
somebody like Neil deGrasse Tyson is on there.
I mean, he's done TV, but even if he hadn't, he'd be on there
for all of his talk show appearances.
Sure. OK, then.

(43:41):
Let's get to the meat of it too,though.
Sorry. Last time we went to a game, it
was Angel City, the women's soccer team in Los Angeles.
And famously we went and no one scored any fucking points.
And it was weird because I was like, I thought this was
supposed to be exciting and no one fucking scored anything.

(44:03):
And we went again, and I thought, today's the day,
today's the day. I'm going to see someone put a
soccer ball inside of a goal andit didn't fucking happen. 00, no
points. They tied with nothing.
We sat there and we chanted and we danced and we ate chicken
tenders and we drank and we tried so hard to be fans and yet

(44:31):
they kicked a ball around, they ran around and no one got a
fucking point. You son of a bitch.
What is the point, you bastard? You OK?
My biggest fucking bone to pick If here's the thing, you
bastard. If they wouldn't.
If they instituted the rule in soccer, if they changed the

(44:52):
structure and they made you playuntil a point is scored,
something tells me. Something fucking tells me that
someone would have scored a point and tried a little harder
in the 90 minutes of the game play and we wouldn't have been
there for four. You know what I mean?

(45:12):
Like if you had to play till a point was scored, something
tells me someone would have gotten a ball in.
But because they're allowed to just pussyfoot around the
fucking field and dink, dink, dink the ball around and not
ever get a goddamn goal, something tells me we wouldn't
have so many 00 fucking games. There's a reason for it, and
it's going to this is going to make you even more crazy.

(45:36):
OK, well, I don't know if it's safe to tell me, but go on.
So this is how the the the playoff structure for soccer
works. Oh God, do we have time?
Yes, of course we have time. Can you?
If you win, it's worth 2 points.If you draw like a tie, even at
00, it's one point, no? And if you lose at 0 points?

(45:58):
You don't get fucking. So they wanted to draw.
So they wanted to draw what? Do you mean?
So that at least they would eachget one point.
No, the you wanna win. You get more points if you win,
so you're not incentivized to tie, but if you do tie, they
don't deserve. A fucking God damn point.
What are you saying? Because.

(46:19):
What is the point for? It's when you tally up points
instead of overall, like when you end up towards the end of
the season, you look at things not from how many games did you
win or lose, how many points didyou tally.
So you if you tie more times than you lose.

(46:41):
You have more points than somebody who maybe won more but
also lost. More that's so stupid.
So if you were the most mediocreand barely did anything, you get
more points than someone that tries really hard and has a few
bad ones. I don't think it's fair to frame
it that way. It's not because you could try

(47:03):
really hard and tie. Well, I was there, and I don't
think they did. It is very undermining.
I have to say that this is the second soccer game I've taken
you to and both ended in a 00 tie.
Do you know how much of A weightit's like?
What did we all do here? Yeah, 100% This is why.

(47:23):
And we all came here, we drove here, we parked, we walked, we
paid, we purchased things and you guys just ran in circles and
no one got a fucking goal. I had a good time only because
of the company spent I. Well, like, I think it's a
legitimate complaint. The more minutes that went by, I
was like, this better not be happening, I know, and this

(47:45):
better not be happening. Anxiety I got as a result.
I really did. I was like, motherfucker,
somebody score. Please, God, at some point I
said that. I said during the game, I said I
don't even care if Kansas City scores at this point.
I just want to see anyone put a ball in a net because I don't
give that much of A fuck about LA teams like.

(48:09):
I think, look, it's a legitimatecomplaint.
A lot of people have it and it'sa that alone is possibly the
biggest reason that a lot that some people are still not into
the sport. So what do, what do people like
Will Ferrell, like owners of theteam, You're going to stand by
that. You're going to stand by this

(48:30):
behavior. Yeah.
What does he feel? He came out.
He got his ass to the game. I think if you're into soccer,
you don't care. He showed face.
What do you mean you don't care?Like, I didn't really.
I cared in the sense that seeinggoals are fun because A, your
team is gonna win, B the stadiumlike, loses their shit.

(48:54):
And that that's that's like the feeling you're chasing, right?
But soccer is probably the only sport I've ever watched or gone
to where I actually enjoy the chase.
Like when I go to a baseball game, I'm waiting for a damn hit
or a home run. When I you know what I mean.
But it's like all of the lead upand then nothing.

(49:15):
It's like if you're watching a car chase on TV and they never
get away and the cops never catch them, The TV just goes
out. Or what?
Like you never. That's a pretty good You never
know what happened. Or like you're at a bar watching
people play foosball. Or you're playing foosball, but
no one ever wins or loses. Time though.

(49:38):
Time. There's a time limit if you put
a time. If you put a 10 limit, 10 minute
time limit on a foosball game, Same concept, yeah.
By the way, you have a legitimate complaint.
Like I said, it's a legitimate complaint.
A lot of people have it. I don't know if I have a third
game in me, is what I'm saying. Well, I was, I don't know,
wanted. To go this weekend.

(49:58):
No, you were not. Yeah, to the women's game.
There's a women's game on Sunday.
Angel City. I think it's too soon.
I think it is too, because if ithappened again.
It's too soon. I I don't know.
I. Like if it happened again, I
think you might forbid me from. Going I think I would burn the

(50:19):
shirts. Yeah, I don't blame you.
I don't. I don't know if I can.
I have to forget how upset I was.
I have to have time to forget and like look back with rose
colored glasses like, well, it was a nice night.
We don't. We, the two of us, do not have a
good track record when it comes to going to sporting events.
We don't. And it's a track, It is, it is a

(50:40):
track. It is quite a bit away from the
house it is and you have to parkand walk and it's all the you
know. That's why I'm excited they're
doing a team up not too far fromthe house soon.
It's not. It's.
We do it because we want to experience life, but it's not.
It's out of the way and it's toosoon.
I'll throw this out there, though, and I do think this is a

(51:03):
legitimate solution. I think the game's too short.
Imagine being more in the hole, though imagine being 1/3 hour in
the hole and then still no one scores.
All right, I have a better. I have a better.
Solution I think they have to play until there's a score.
You're. Going to like this?
Here's how we force the score. You're legitimately going to

(51:25):
like it. OK, I'm waiting.
After the 90 minute mark, you remove half the players on the
field. Hell yeah.
Death to death and remove the goalies.
Every or like every. Honestly.
Maybe that's it. That's the sudden death we're
looking for in in playoffs for like the World Cup.
They do penalty like a kickoff penalty shots.

(51:48):
Penalty kicks. OK, I think you'd be.
That would be fun to watch someday.
Pull the goalies and pull half the players.
Anyway. Soccer complaints also.
Also also, I'm tired of the fucking drama.
I'm tired of them tripping over nothing and laying on the
ground, feigning as though theirspleen burst, and then popping

(52:12):
up and running away like nothinghappened because it was all
fake. I'm sick of it.
It's every sport. No.
Yes, it is. No, 100% it.
Is at least in football, they'reactually injured, honey.
They do get injured in football.I'm not denying that, but the
amount. Of concussions and bodies

(52:32):
slamming into each other and other sports.
Hockey people lose teeth. People have black eyes.
People like skate over each other with and cut each other
with their. They do with.
Their blading devices. And then football people are
concussed constantly. It's constant.

(52:54):
I know, I get it. So fucking soccer, rugby.
People are just constantly injured.
I'm just saying, if you're goingto fucking run around with the
ball and you're going to feign injury and you're not going to
score, I'm over it. You son of a bitch.
You bastard. You bastard.

(53:18):
You bastard, you. Bastard.
There you go, Unsportcenter. Oh, it's like, what?
Just every medium needs to have a beginning, middle and end.
Like you wouldn't watch ATV showthat had no plot.
Careful there. You're gonna piss off a lot of
people. What?
Who love Seinfeld. OK, the show about nothing.

(53:43):
All right, don't even. I'm not gonna get that meta.
I'm just saying what's the mail time?
Let's do it. Welcome.
You you, you. You got mail.
You you you you got mail. Goodbye.
From our good friend Alyssa. Oh, good.

(54:06):
Who apologized because she said that she's been waiting to write
in a bunch, but time has gotten away from her.
It's OK, I get it. Time has gotten away from all of
us. I wish I could just meet you two
at a brewery or something. Sure.
OK, You name the time you have the place, We'll meet you there.
Want to go to a soccer game? No.

(54:26):
Why not, Alyssa? Come on, we love soccer games,
OK? I think this Alyssa lives in
like North Carolina. Which one?
Brewery's there. I know, but I just mean it's
not. Smudgeland, I think you're
right. OK, by the way, wait, OK, we
have two Alyssas and so sorry, go, keep going.

(54:50):
We have two Alyssa's that frequently write in.
So I'm trying to place which onethis is because there's one in
LA Continue. I'll figure it out later.
Go ahead. What's that?
All right, she's she wrote in like a novel.
So I'll, I'll cut through it. And by the way, I love the
message. Thank you for doing it, not

(55:11):
trying to discourage it. She starts off by saying, first
of all, Best Buy and Sell Buy are not expiration dates.
OK, never mind. I don't care which Alyssa this
is. Sell, buy, sell, buy usually
means use it within the week. I eat milk good for about a week

(55:34):
after the printed sell. Buy.
And I agree with Cameron's fact.Fact being the keyword there
about eggs floating or sinking to see if they're still good.
Right. I didn't argue that.
I just said you're gross. We are.
You're calling Alyssa Gross? OK, we.

(55:55):
Are by no means impoverished, but eggs are freaking expensive
my guy. They are Best Buy.
I say use your best judgement. Spices are probably fine as long
as they've been kept in a cool, dry storage area.
Dried powdered spices can get clumpy if it's humid, but if
they're dry you're probably goodto go.
Also, if they're in a plastic container, plastic eventually

(56:17):
starts to taint the contents, just like a bottle of water.
The water isn't bad, the container is bad, so if it's in
a glass jar you're it's legally probably better for you the
longer it sits there is what she's saying.
However, do not take expired meds.
Ever. Ever.
Ever. Yeah, she said.
On medicine that's literally in a verse of the song Dumb Ways to

(56:40):
Die. Really.
And. If that's the case, I feel like
we should, we should like, soundthe alarm to America, you know?
Even like a leave and Advil and shit.
I. Was always told they'd just lose
their effectiveness. But I could be wrong.
Oh my. Gosh, we have to edit the

(57:01):
podcast where we were like, it'sfun.
She followed up on my Shark Tankinvention, the Haircut Mirror,
she says. I'm a user experience designer
by trade. We can workshop the name, but
excellent concept. Fucking everything's coming up
Cameron tonight, am I right? Oh my God, we get it.
You're obsessed with Cameron. We can workshop the name, except

(57:26):
it doesn't need to be a literal mirror, making an app easier to
make. No manufacturing needed.
You can still put it in Barber shops, just put it on an iPad
and put it on a stand. Wow, so smart.
Let's get on it. I want to invest.
She said 25%. Wait, no, we're.
No, we're not giving it less than 25%.
I Alyssa, I love you, honey. We can talk about 2 1/2

(57:46):
advisory, Sheriff. Those were good.
Ideas. Oh, she said.
This one was from, like, over a month ago, but I now think, but
on cracked windshields. My husband is a licensed state
inspector in North Carolina. Oh, I knew it.
There you go. And I verified this fact with
him. Yes, it is illegal for your
windshield to be cracked, but cops only give a shit if it's

(58:10):
obstructing your view. But if you get your car
inspected, make sure to get it fixed before because they'll
flag it. And that's, like, annoying.
After midnight. She ends with this.
I'm curious about Katie's take on Taylor Tomlins's new late
night show. I don't think I've heard you
guys talk about it. I think it'd be right up Katie's
alley. Love you, Alyssa.

(58:34):
Love you. Alyssa.
Love how you're always historically pro Cameron.
Shut up. They came out to my show in
that's. Right, Yeah.
Greensboro, NC So I. Forgot, but and to be fair, I'm
reading it off of my phone. So if you saw the username, you
would have. Yeah exactly, but.
So I will try to ignore all the clearly pro Cameron points in

(58:58):
there and thank God, thank God that I'm the.
Right point. Thank God we don't take expired
medication then and go by you onthat.
OK, wait, she was pro me on expired medication?
You were the one saying it's fine.
Not to my knowledge. I I can't.
I don't recollect. I don't remember.

(59:21):
I do like After Midnight and I deeply hope to be on it as a
guest slash contestant. So really manifesting that
Taylor Tomlinson is crushing it and making history and doing it
all. And ironically, her new tour and
special is called Have It All the Have It All Tour and the

(59:45):
Have It like Her Special 'cause it's about can you really have
it all? Because if your professional
life is going great, your personal life is usually in
shambles, and if your personal life is going great, your career
is usually struggling. So it's.
Kind of. On that I I watched her most
recent Netflix special, and I think it's the best one of her
three. That's what you said the other

(01:00:08):
week. Yeah, it's just a lot like
smarter and faster moving. It feels.
And I heard. It just feels like she really
settled into herself. Yes, that's.
MY1 complaint with After Midnight is it doesn't totally
feel like she's settled into therole of hosting yet.
It feels like she could just have more fun with it.

(01:00:29):
But I Who the fuck am I? I'm not hosting, right?
You know I. Have I have a criticism of the
show from being honest, Being Real?
Yeah. I used to love At Midnight when
it was on Comedy Central with Chris Hardwick, and I love After
Midnight in the same way many inmany of the same ways.

(01:00:50):
I will say it's now an hour longinstead of 1/2 hour.
Oh yeah, it'd be cool if it was back to 1/2 hour.
To compensate for that, they have just added more game into
it, and I think that's a mistake.
I think what they should do is start off the show with some
sort of fun quote, UN quote, traditional monologue where

(01:01:13):
Taylor can come out and be a comedian.
Yeah, the stuff that she's the best at.
Let her do 10 minutes of It doesn't have to be politics,
just it could be whatever. About the current tabloids or
headlines, or the flight that fell from the sky, or, you know,
whatever. And then have everybody do the
games and then whoever is the quote, UN quote winner, 'cause

(01:01:36):
they all the points don't matterand they decide on a winner.
You let that person No, I mean that would work too, but I
think, I think that person 'cause everybody's a comedian
for the most part. You let the winner do a set for
five or seven minutes at the endof the show.
Oh, that would be cool. So monologue, half hour of
games, 10 minutes or so of comedy set.

(01:02:00):
Yeah, that's a good idea. Yeah.
You have my number, CBS that used to work there.
Just give me a call. You OK, honey?
Yeah, this is who knows? Keep doing that.
I'm slowly dying, Jude. OK do.
You get listen to me very carefully.
I know everything. You're a moron.
So is your mother. You are an example of why people

(01:02:20):
should have to take tests beforethey're allowed to have
children. All right, last.
Night. I got into my hotel at 9:30 PM
in San Francisco and the area not walkable at all scary in San
Francisco. I think all of San Francisco is
just like downtown LA on steroids.

(01:02:43):
It's just all scary and dangerous now.
Yeah, you shouldn't walk outside.
By yourself. Even today during the day I had
a couple people like screaming shirtless like it was a lot.
So during the day I was scared and I was next to the Google
campus. So it's all pretty treacherous.
Anyways, I get in. I have no other options for

(01:03:05):
food, but the hotel bar in the lobby I go to that.
They're closing at 10, so I order quickly.
I sit in the only spot that's open.
I'm next to one other woman that's by herself on her phone,
and then I'm by another woman who I assumed was with the man
next to her because they were all canoodled up and she was
clearly wine drunk and this other guy was drinking and he

(01:03:30):
had his back turned to the guy next to him.
Turns out he was on a work trip with the guy next to him
completely ignoring his work friend and didn't know the woman
until tonight. And they were like drunkenly
loud talking and flirting. There's only five seats at this
hotel lobby bar top. So it's me, a woman by herself,

(01:03:54):
these two fuckers and the poor other work friend man in five
seats in a row. And it's silent.
Except for these. 2 drunk fucks like flirting with each other.
I order, and I'm specifically like, trying to be distracted on
my phone, 'cause I'm like, I don't.

(01:04:15):
I've had a long day. Such a long day.
I don't want a single fucking person to talk to me.
I want to eat my sandwich in peace.
Of course I. Ordered.
The bartender was so, so sweet. The lady next to me didn't try
to talk to me. I was like great then.
I had no choice but to listen tothese people talking because

(01:04:35):
there was no other sounds. It was just them and this
fucking bitch. Well, I know that she's 52 and
that she has a 30 year old daughter that's still living at
home and she started talking. Shit on her daughter.
Oh. Good.
Then realized she's like, yeah, so we had my daughter when I was

(01:04:58):
22 and and then he's like, Oh myGod, how old are you?
You're no, how old is your daughter?
Like telling her she looked young.
Yeah, right. Yeah.
Fucking right. Like flirting with her, saying
she looked young. OK, Literally, she's talking
about her husband and her daughter and flirting with and
he's still going for it. And she's still.

(01:05:19):
Going for it, it was disgusting.I literally sat there and
disintegrated for her daughter. I felt so bad because he said I
don't have kids and she goes, oh, you're not missing out on
anything, OK, I. Literally had a pit in.
My stomach for this? Daughter that I don't know.

(01:05:39):
She's just ragging on her daughter.
Yeah, she's. Like she still lives at home.
She's been in a bunch of bad relationships with bad
boyfriends. Yeah, you're not missing out on
anything. We wanted to have four kids, but
then it just wasn't meant to be.I guess I just have the one.
Or maybe if you're a better parent, she she like looked.
Up. And I think there's no way I

(01:06:03):
didn't have a face on. She clocked you.
She clocked me. And then?
Goes. But you know, we're like 2 peas
in a pod. We're super close.
And I was like, you fucking bitch, I already caught you.
I already caught you talking shit on your family, your one
daughter since you couldn't haveany other kids.

(01:06:24):
I guess you're literally flirting with a stranger in
front of me. Gross.
Eww. Then he like, keeps asking her
stuff. And she's like, yeah.
So, like, we're going to Italy. Like, this is her voice
impossitano and like, and I'm like you drunk piece of like it.

(01:06:46):
She just was already the worst. Then the bartender is a German
woman with a thick German accent.
There's no confusion. She is a white woman with a
thick German accent. She asks.
'Cause this lady. Wanted her food and alcohol

(01:07:06):
separate because I think she wason a work trip and you can only
expense food and you can't expense alcohol 'cause I had to
do that when I was a server all the time.
Was split the alcohol on a separate bill and also 'cause
then they would see that she probably consumed 2 bottles of
wine by herself. So she had whatever split and

(01:07:26):
the bartender comes up to ask her a question and this drunk
bitch goes oh C instead of saying yes because she was.
Incorrectly. Code switching, so she said CSI
to the help. Quote UN quote help instead of

(01:07:51):
saying. Yes, in English.
To a German woman in America, you fucking idiot.
I almost turned to Ash the bartender.
Like, I don't even know. I don't even.
I mean, I'm assuming the bartender just deals with
fucking idiots all the time. Of course.

(01:08:11):
Yeah, and annoying old drunk white.
Women all the time. So she didn't even blink an eye.
But I was like mortified for her.
Then the guy, the work friend islike, OK, I'm gonna just gonna
go. The other friend was like, I'm
gonna go up to bed, 'cause everybody's ignoring me, right?

(01:08:32):
And. Then it snapped the.
Flirty guy back into reality andhe's like, Oh yeah, I'll, I'll
cash out, I'll cash out. So they go up and he's like,
I'll message you on WhatsApp. So they're literally making a
plan to cheat, and she's. Like, oh, OK, have a great.
Night, you could tell she was, like, disappointed They didn't

(01:08:54):
start like, making out. You could tell she felt
rejected, that this guy didn't just start doing her at the bar.
Then they leave and it's just me, the woman next to me who's
been silent. God bless her soul and this
drunk. Bitch.

(01:09:14):
And I could feel her need for meto make eye contact and talk to
her, and I relished every momentof not giving her what she
wanted. And I could feel her eyes
burning a hole. We are 6 inches from each

(01:09:36):
other's bodies. It was a small bar.
She was finishing her 7th glass of wine or what it seemed like.
I'm editorializing. She was finishing her 7th.
Glass of wine. Staring at my temple, My right
temple, just waiting for me to fucking look up and talk to her

(01:09:57):
and relate to her on something. Or so she could make an aside to
make herself feel better for trying to burn her family to the
ground at a hotel bar. And I wouldn't give it to her.
I wanted her to know, subconsciously or consciously in
her stupid drunken state, that Ithink she's a dumb piece of
trash and I don't even grant hera glance.

(01:10:20):
I didn't even. Oh, I just sat there and let her
marinate in her disgust, becausewhat she wanted was to go into a
lustful fucking whatever the shit with this drunken guy at
this drunken bar after she just talked shit on her family for an
hour or two. And I wouldn't look at her and I
wouldn't give her like the just girls being girls at the.

(01:10:44):
Hotel bar. No bitch, you're disgusting and
you're a piece of shit and I hate you and I can't look at you
and you should be ashamed of yourself.
So go sit with your ugly ass 52 year old self in your wine drunk
state and think about your sad fucking life and your family you
clearly hate in your hotel room alone and don't mind me with the

(01:11:04):
middle finger. So.
Shove your 7. Glasses of wine.
Up your ass. Do you get it?
Judgment to the plaintiff. I hope your husband leaves you.
You're a moron. So does.
Your mother and, I hope, your daughter.
Listens to this podcast. Open up your ears and listen.

(01:11:25):
I do have. To say it's generally.
Speaking when I encounter somebody that is being
withholding, it drives me insane.
That being said, there are moments in life where it feels
so good. Oh my God, you know what I'm
saying? Like I what you just described.
Oh, it was so tasty not giving her the attention.
She wanted attention. She was also being really

(01:11:46):
performative with how she was talking about, of course, her
trip to Italy. And you can tell what these
fucks, because they're talking. Loudly.
And they're also you can catch their eyes looking around for
people's reaction. Feel her eyes waiting.
For my eyes? Yep, 100%.
And then she, like, got up in a.Huff.
Oh, and the bartender said, havea good night.

(01:12:07):
Like she she was saying it's everyone.
It wasn't just her. But she said have a good night.
And the lady got up in a huff and goes, yeah, she didn't say
you two. She didn't say fucking anything
to the bar. She.
Yeah. She didn't say.
Gracias. No, but she was like.
She was, like, pissed. She's like, yeah.

(01:12:27):
And then kept walking. Because she's come on, she's not
getting any. Action late?
Yeah, of course she's. Pissed and she didn't get the
attention. She wanted from me and she
didn't. Get sex from this random
stranger. So what a terrible night.
Yeah. Hope she I hope she puked.
Herself face. Down in the tub.
It's well, Jesus. All right, that that got a

(01:12:49):
little dark, but yeah, I mean, not drown, but like.
Gross, You know, doesn't. Part of you feel kind of
grateful that that was an experience you had last night.
What? You know what I mean, 'cause
it's a little it's you had. To wait for a sandwich.

(01:13:10):
Oh, like like it's a little entertainment.
At least it's. Tasty.
You know what? I mean drama I.
Don't know, it just makes me. Sad.
Because I, it like, really rocksmy faith in like humanity when
people are just such pieces of shit.
So I don't know it blatantly toosure.
But I think I would have rather.Heard it.
It makes me sad because the the people like her husband and

(01:13:33):
daughter aren't seeing the truth.
It would have been tasty if it was like a couple breaking up.
Yeah, but they also probably, they probably.
Are. And they know the truth, I
guess. Hopefully, hopefully they do.
God kind of wish I was there to witness it, but it's also funny.

(01:13:54):
Because. If we were there together, we
wouldn't have been talking, 'cause we would have been busy
listening. That's what we have to come up
with, some sort of fake conversation.
That we can have subconsciously like a script that we have.
Memorized So. Well, that we could listen while
we say it. Yeah, you're right.
What? How was work today?
Oh, the Peterson. Account was very difficult to

(01:14:15):
handle, you know? And meanwhile we're like just
like holy shit, we rattle it off, but our brains are
listening. Yeah, or that's a good idea.
Wait, I have another? Idea.
OK. One of us can be assigned to
essentially monologue about our day, and the other one collects
Intel that's pretty good, so I you.
Monologue and I'll tune you out.OK.

(01:14:37):
It's like any other day and then.
I will listen in. And then I'll report back when
you're done monologuing. I like that.
I'll agree to that, so. Then we don't have to do the
timing of like a. Script.
I like that. Yeah.
All right. I'll practice my monologue, OK.
I used to know one from School of Rocks.
Maybe I can? Dust that one off.
Someone next to you on the otherside notices that it's.

(01:14:59):
From a movie give up just quit cause in this life.
You can't win. Something about the man
convincing and. Yeah, I'll figure it.
Out anyway real. Quick before we go, Saint
Patrick's Day is on Sunday, so hope you have.

(01:15:19):
Fun celebrating French. Music.
Well, I'll get it 'cause I'm code switching.
Yeah, I get it. See subscribe to, mostly.
True. Opinions on?
IHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.