Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Hey, imagine that, two millennials doing a podcast to
avoid legalizing the purge. Yeah, probably because they
can't afford therapy. This is mostly true opinions.
It is mostly true opinions. Good to see you everyone.
(00:27):
Or good to hear. Good for you to hear me.
I don't fucking know man. It worked.
Bad Exactly 1 glass of wine. I'm telling you 2025, I have
dramatically cut back my alcoholintake.
So now you're a cheap date. I like it, it's pretty chill.
One glass of wine. How's you feeling I?
(00:49):
Don't even know if I had a full glass to be honest with you.
I had like a Dixie cup. Please, please be honest.
That's a phrase that people say.I saw the glass.
It was a regular sized glass. No, it had a lot of ice in it.
It it was ice down wine. Whatever.
So. We didn't have the time to chill
(01:09):
the wine, but we did have the time to drink it and.
There's a lesson in that. Is that Doctor Seuss is that
Shell Silverstein. Remember those books where the
sidewalk ends? I used to have that until we
moved last time and then I got rid of it.
Yeah, well, you know, it's. So what do you mean by last
(01:30):
time? Last time we moved is what I
mean we're. Going to move again.
Wow, sorry did I need to? RIP the Band-Aid.
Well, I mean, you just kind of said it.
Do we need some sort of hang on?Is it?
I don't even know what I have anymore for.
What kind of music is moving music like news break music?
(01:55):
Vamp for a second. Oh, go on.
Wow, this was so great. I don't.
That's not a stall. No, this was so great that you
here it is. Here's moving Band-Aid off.
Here is moving music. Yeah, that's it.
It's too loud. I always think that.
It's really not. We're moving again.
(02:19):
Wow. Oh, who saw it coming?
Not us. Not.
Not necessarily. No.
No. Are we the ones making the
choice? Yes.
Do we have to move? No.
Are we still moving? Are we being called to?
Yes, Yeah. No.
(02:43):
We're still moving in, I'll be honest with you, in Los Angeles.
With everything, we don't have to get into it.
It's not this type of podcast, but with everything going on in
LA this weekend and there's beena couple other things over the
last couple of years, I'm not fucking going anywhere.
We are standing this bitch, Yeah, you know, going down with
the ship. If it's going down, I.
(03:04):
Mean we never were going to leave.
I know. I just feel I, I feel honestly,
I think it took me, I was thinking about this today.
The first couple years I had a love hate with LA and then like
probably a year before I met you, I was like, no, I really
like it. And it was never, it was never
(03:24):
like, I can't stand being here. It was like do I need to be here
right? That's so interesting.
I always wanted to come here, got here, loved it and never
wanted to leave. I always wanted to come here,
but after spending time here, like struggling for a beat, I
was like, is this things are expensive, whatever, blah, blah,
(03:44):
blah. Then about a year before I met
you, I was like, no, I really like it.
We've been obviously together for a long time.
We have liked it the entire timewe've been together.
I would say the last two years, maybe 3, it went from, yeah, I'm
going to be here to like, this is my home, you know?
OK. Like that?
(04:06):
I used to. I'm from Saint Louis.
I was a Cardinals fan all my life, was passively a Dodgers
fan living in LA. Now I am a Dodgers fan.
You know what I mean? No, I mean, I'm hearing you and
I'm open to it. I don't know what you mean in
the sense that I've never felt that way.
I you've. Never felt which way.
I felt like I never had an allegiance ever once to Arkansas
(04:29):
and I refused to go cheer on theHogs.
I, I actively wanted to get out of there like the entire time I
lived there. And the second I got to Lai was
like, thank God. I don't care if it's expensive.
I will pay any price to live here.
It costs money to live in somewhere you want to be.
(04:51):
It's a sunshine tax, we always say.
So I was just like, this is whatit costs to have the life I
want. That's fine.
I guess the the best way for me to put it is not that I didn't
feel called to be here or want to be here.
It's like I felt like I was posing as an LA person.
So you're thinking it takes likea decade to be a resident?
(05:12):
I think so. For me it did.
For me it did. Sure, I guess so.
That's fine. I don't think I I mean, I didn't
move here and immediately be like, well, I'm a Los Angelina,
like whatever. Yeah, yeah.
So I guess that totally makes sense.
But I, yeah, I liked it the whole time.
And I was willing to work however many jobs at most times,
(05:35):
3 jobs is what it took to live without assistance from family
or the government. And that was fine with me and it
has remained fine with me. Here's the thing, I keep
equivocating. Whoa, whoa. $5 word home
(05:56):
ownership to parenthood. OK, because you're always tired,
you don't have time for the things you actually want to be
doing, and you're broke. Now, I'm not saying every parent
is broke and tired and without time, but a lot of them say
(06:17):
those are side effects of parenthood.
Sure. So we're making overarching
statements, but so am I about home ownership.
Everyone tells you you should doit.
Everyone says you should be a parent, you'll love it.
Everyone says buy a house, you'll love it.
Yeah, sure, there are parts of this that we love.
Absolutely. But.
(06:39):
Parts we're going to miss very much.
Sure. But I don't.
I'm not going to miss the hours and hours and hours it takes to
upkeep the square footage that we have, the yard that we have.
I'm not going to miss the extra jobs I had to pick up so that we
would save money and pay off thethings we need to pay off.
(07:06):
And you're not going to miss thecommute.
The After the fires in LA, your commute went up to two hours one
way. It has been insane to the point
where I I came today to the house and for whatever reason,
traffic was not so bad. And I was like, holy shit, this
is what it could be like. Yeah.
(07:27):
This is what? Well, it's what it used to be
like. It is what it used to be like.
And then, you know, on top of all this, there's like we have
not quite yet felt the impact ofinsurance costs from the fires
that happened that is on the way.
Totally fucked. We're going to get effed on
that. We're going to get effed on
several things. The.
Fires did not take our physical house, but it took our time and
(07:50):
a ton of our impending money. Yes, and it's not something if
our whole existence was we feel fulfilled.
If I felt fulfilled by being a homemaker and by having the
thing that everyone strives for in a home and a pool and living
in LA County and owning this house, then dig your heels in,
(08:18):
work hard and keep it. But our priority in life isn't
to fill the extra two. Well, we have 4 bedrooms.
Our priority in life isn't to fill our extra bedrooms with a
family. Our priority in life isn't to
spend 3 hours on the weekend doing yard work.
Our priority in life is to travel, to prioritize our
(08:39):
creativity and our careers and not spend 4 hours because it's
it's been taking you 2 hours to get to work, 2 hours to get home
after the fires. Every single extra check I earn
is going to an extra home expense, an extra.
We had to replace our pool pump.We had to replace pool tiles.
We had to replace like had to buy a car.
(09:04):
We had to, yeah, I had to buy a car.
Whatever. Anyways, I'm saying home stuff,
not the car. The car was fine.
Yeah, that's true. But anyways, we're prioritizing
that. We don't want a family and we
don't want to spend our weekendscleaning the house.
IA 100% and I also think that I also think that I during COVID,
(09:33):
we this was kind of like an escape for us coming up to where
we live, our first place in thisplace.
I'm feeling so-called to like get back into the thick of it.
You know what I mean? The travel thing that you
brought up is, is a, a big part of that.
But like you were, you were so busy.
We both are so busy and now is kind of the time to lean in or
(09:57):
not. And I, I think it's going to be
great. If anybody's been watching Hacks
this season, there was an episode, I think it was episode
9, where Gene Smart says this was the dream and I got it and
now the dream has changed and I'm like, that is fucking so
(10:18):
spot. On 'cause this was the dream,
and then we accomplished it and we could.
The thing is, no one's holding us at gunpoint to leave.
Not at all. But the dream changed, and if
you're gonna sell a house, you need to sell it during the
summer when families are moving before.
(10:39):
Yeah, it's a whole thing. Before their kids go back to
school. So the reason it's happening so
fast is because we want to get the most money out of our house
before the government goes to shit.
I mean a little bit. Before that happens and before
families well timed go back to school and it's just happening
(11:03):
fast now, but it's for the greater good.
Yeah. Anyways, I feel like we're
breaking it. This feels like we're parents
getting a divorce, breaking it to their children when it's not
even that big of a deal. No, no, no, no.
And I think and we're, and to behonest, we're very, very
fortunate to be in this position.
Work worked really hard to get here, but very fortunate that
(11:24):
we're in this position. So the new dream is rent
something that's hella awesome closer into the city, still has
a little yard for the little dogs, and buy an investment
property in Joshua Tree. That's the idea.
A rental property. I think it would be great.
(11:45):
Yeah. The desert that we talked about
on the podcast, the desert Vortex, is that what we call the
energy vortex? Energy vortex.
It's real, that's the thing. So well, you know, stay tuned
for the next chapter, the rentalslash still by chapter and we'll
see. But I do kind of think home
(12:07):
ownership is very parallel to parenthood.
I think that most people would agree with you.
I don't know, pop off and let meknow the DMS.
There is, you know, we are too. Not your entire life, but too
Midwestern raised people and allthey preach to you in those
(12:29):
areas are like here are here arethe steps of success.
Buy a house, have a family. Buy a house, get married, have a
hire. Or, you know, get married, buy a
house, have a family. Right.
And those are very big milestones for many people and
very commendable, but it's not the way that everyone has to be.
(12:51):
Yeah. That's all, Do your thing.
It does feel at least empoweringthat it's not like we're being
forced out, we're just choosing a different path because it
makes the most sense for our lifestyle.
Right. I would love to be able to just
hop on a plane and hey, there's a fun concert happening in New
York. Right.
(13:11):
And I thought we, I, I just think we found our perfect
square footage and it's not this.
It's it isn't, isn't that funny?Yeah, it this is too big.
We went, we, we went too big. We overcorrect it.
We the the neighbors, if you arean OG and you listen to the pod
(13:31):
when a year ago when we were moving out of the townhouse that
we had the neighbors made us feel claustrophobic.
But I don't think the square footage was claustrophobic.
I don't think so at all. So.
I don't think so at all. If I I even thought about that
earlier today because I'm like what do we do at that house
versus what do we do at this house?
(13:51):
The same shit. Yeah.
The literal and you you said a couple weeks ago, these other
two bedrooms that we have we have spent collectively between
the two of us maybe an hour and a half of now it like
legitimately. Yeah.
So anyway, it'll be good. It'll be good.
Very stressful time to be alive at the moment.
A lot of moving parts, but I really do think that we're we're
(14:14):
turning the corner on something really exciting.
Yeah. Personally, and it's very easy.
I don't know. It's very easy to move in the
middle of busy lives. Very easy.
Yeah, moving is super fun. Moving stress free.
I don't know about you guys stress free.
I tell you one thing that makes it better, something that makes
(14:36):
it a lot easier. God, just USA even even our dogs
love this theme song they do. When they hear it, they get
amped. Love Island.
I feel like they need that. Yes, I was thinking that either
Love Island. So wouldn't that be good?
(14:59):
A whisper. Yeah, over the intro right there
at the end when the title comes up.
Love Island. But it no it needs to be
British. Love Island.
It needs to be the narrator doing his.
It's hard to to OK, it is hard to whisper in a British accent
the same way it's hard to sing in a British accent.
Think about that. I don't get it.
Do you ever heard Adele sing? When you're hearing her sing,
(15:25):
you go, oh, she's singing in a British accent.
No, everyone sounds American when they're singing.
Why? I don't know, it's mind blowing.
I don't think she sounds American.
Never mind, I'll find Someone Like You.
She's not going. Never mind, I'll find Someone
Like You. Isn't that funny?
(15:46):
Have you ever noticed? Have you never noticed that?
OK, first of all, stop being so proud of yourself.
Yes, I've noticed that I haven'tgiven it a lot of thought, Ed.
Sheeran, I'm in love of shape ofyou.
That's not what he's doing. He sound.
They don't sound. Here's the thing.
Come on. No, no.
You know I'm right. They don't sound American, they
(16:11):
just don't sound as British. Does that make sense?
They don't. Sound again.
They don't sound fully American,they just don't sound as
British. It's like watered down.
No, it's like watered down accent.
I just don't think he got a key.Also, you're wrong.
(16:32):
What am I wrong about? Dialect.
If it's still English, it's a dialect, and if it's foreign
it's an accent. Explain.
I get it. But explain it like you would to
a first grader, just for our listening.
Audience, you totally get it, but explain it again.
One more time. If the language you're speaking
(16:57):
is English. Right.
But it's in a different style. It's called a dialect.
So the language, the words are still English, but it's in a
British dialect. What was the other example you
gave? I don't recall.
(17:19):
What are we talking about? An accent.
You're saying accent, but it's actually a dialect.
OK then. Then what is an accent if that's
a dialect? An accent is like.
An accent's not a different language.
No. An accent is what you would
refer to as like if someone's speaking Mandarin.
(17:40):
Uh huh. Then they have like a Chinese
accent. So when somebody says it's a
British accent, that's incorrect.
Right, it's a dialect. It's a British dialect.
Yes. Are you sure about that?
Yes. Listen to me very carefully, I
know everything. Are you sure about that?
(18:00):
Yeah, Google it Put dialect versus accent into Google.
Dialect versus accent and accentrefers to the distinct
pronunciation of a language or dialect.
Well, a dialect encompasses the broader linguistic variations,
(18:23):
including pronunciation, vocabulary, and grammar.
I don't, I don't understand it, don't understand it still.
OK well in acting class I learned this.
This is dumbing it down. Accents are primarily how words
are pronounced. Dialect is pronunciation and
vocabulary. So pop versus soda, that's an
(18:47):
example of a dialect. So I think you're wrong, you
know what I'm saying. No.
Yeah, now you're, for example, someone from New York has an
accent and. No, that's okay, but that's not
what my acting teacher said, so maybe is he wrong?
I mean, what's his? Idea.
Was he a member? Of Mensa or something?
No, he literally was like, you used the wrong word.
(19:10):
Someone went up with a British, she went up with a British
accent, quote, UN quote. And he was like, no, that's a
dialect. OK, he's one of those guys, huh?
Yeah, that's very annoying. Well, I'm just saying what I was
told this week. So if he's wrong, then what's
what is even real? He reminds me of my 8th grade
teacher, Mr. Fiala, who I used to raise my hand.
(19:33):
Yes, Cameron. Can I go to the bathroom?
I don't know. Can.
You, yeah. Fuck you motherfucker, you know
what I mean? I want I I haven't asked him
yet, but when I'm like, oh, how are you doing?
I don't. He must be one of those guys
that's like, I'm well. He he yeah, he was.
Yeah, I did. I did love Mr. Fiala.
(19:56):
I wasn't trying to shame him. He was a really good.
Teacher. I don't think he listens.
No, he might, that's the thing. Big big fan.
Big fan of. Really.
Cameron No, I don't know. I don't know.
Imagine having the confidence ofsomeone that thinks their middle
school teacher listens to their adult podcast.
You know, I don't have that level of confidence, but what I
do think about is if I was a teacher, I totally would.
(20:18):
What? Yeah, I'd be very curious about
what my students were up. To First of all, I wouldn't know
anything about them, nor would Iif I were a teacher.
I don't think I would actually remember their names if I were a
teacher. I think I would go hey buddy to
every student. I don't think I think that
you're lying to yourself about that.
(20:38):
You think that I would be invested?
No, it's not that you'd be invested.
You would not be able to turn off the part of your brain that
would retain the information. Fine you.
Are right now for this for said acting class, you're memorizing
A5 page script. It is not a five page script
because it was written in what looks like Microsoft Word.
So realistically, like if it waswritten as an actual format,
(21:03):
it'd probably be 12 pages and you were memorizing it so fast,
so quickly. It's mind blowing to me.
I don't understand how you can do it.
Thank you. I would literally like and
you're doing it in like chunks and somehow when you get to like
the third chunk, you still remember the first chunk.
(21:24):
Yeah. It's so impressive.
Thank you. I don't get how you do.
It I didn't lose I memorization is like a a muscle.
You've been always really good at it.
But I don't think I lost my juju.
Yeah. I think I still got it.
I still got it, Yeah. I don't know.
I worked with, I did a YouTube shoot this weekend.
(21:47):
Yeah. And I was playing a teacher, so
my acting had to be really good.And I was working with four
children that said they were in 7th grade.
How old are you in 7th grade? 14.
And they were going. Into no sorry 13.
(22:08):
They were going into eighth grade, so probably 14.
OK, yeah. And it was weird 'cause they
there was 3 girls and a boy OK and they were in the scene and
there was a couple, 2-3 of them were extras.
(22:29):
And I was across the scene with one girl, got it OK.
And she kept like, telling me how pretty I was and like really
buttering me up. OK.
But my gut instinct is like, dislike her.
Do you know what I mean? Like my gut instinct is like,
what even are you? You're like a sassy 14 year old
(22:50):
Jen. What?
They're not even Gen. Z.
What is it? Alpha.
Yeah, EW. I think you're right to be a
little suspicious. I was just suspicious of like,
what's your deal? Right.
Why do you want to be friends with me?
And like, what's the Yeah. And like, is it?
Are you saying that compliment as like a weird charity?
(23:11):
Or is it ironically? Yeah, like, are you saying this?
And when I turn around, you're talking to these other little
nose miners and you're like, ah,see what I did there?
I was like what the fuck? Like I want my gut reaction was
to be like go fuck yourself. But then she was just like
pretty nice. And so that threw me off.
And she was like also pretty good at acting.
(23:36):
Oh OK. And I regretfully I, I
regretfully admit that she just like paid attention and such and
so the bare minimum and seemed just like, I don't know, it was
a weird experience because I waslike, how old are you?
And like what's your deal and what's your problem?
(23:57):
But then she was like complimenting me and telling me
I'm pretty and like talking to me like an adult and pretty good
at whatever we were doing. So then I was like, I guess I
like you. And that felt uncomfortable
(24:18):
because why is there even a reason to like anyone that's 14?
I feel like what you're describing is a pretty normal
human experience, but also maybelead with a foot of what?
What's the word? I'm searching for niceness.
(24:39):
I just. You know what I mean?
Here's the thing, I don't think I've ever met like a 14 year old
that I enjoyed the company of. Even when you were 14.
Yeah. I agree with that.
So I don't think in my whole lifespan I've been like, yeah,
this 14 year old is cool. So meeting one and who knows,
(25:01):
she might suck because I only was with her for three hours.
And like, I don't think anyone'scharacter can be fully shown in
three hours. So there's still a chance she
sucks, you know? But in those three hours it did
just like, I can't explain how much of A loop I was thrown for.
I was like, I mean, she, I'm, she's kind of an adult.
(25:27):
See, I think in these moments you have a hard time.
I can't compute. Well, it's you can't compute,
but you can't the part of your brain that's like I don't like
kids and teenagers can't let go.You know what I mean it she.
Let me say this, she started outa deficit because of my bias.
(25:48):
Right. So she even did she more work
than one would require, right? I don't.
It just makes me uncomfortable because it's like I'm not used
to this and I don't think I I'm not necessarily going to be
interfacing with 14 year olds a lot.
Why is it bad though? Why is it bad to come away with
(26:13):
this? Looking at it and going, I got
along with that 14 year old for the day.
I mean, I guess it's fine. So it's not bad, it's good.
You. Can it's like when we meet it,
when we go to dinner and we see a parent with their kid and
they're actually being a good parent, it's like, yeah, hell
(26:34):
yeah, you can. You can go, yes, that's great.
You're being a good parent. And that doesn't mean that you
also want a child, you know. She and then yeah, and then the
other just. Because you like this 14 year
old doesn't mean you want to hang out with 14.
Year olds. The other girl came over and she
was like, Oh my gosh, like your earrings so pretty or whatever.
(26:56):
Like she also complimented me. And in the night it felt like a
trick. Like I was like, did you guys
text about this? And you were both like, we
should tell her she is pretty because I was dressed as like a
teacher in a cardigan. Like there was nothing really
cute going on. And then.
But I will say girls are better than boys in every sense of
(27:18):
being a child. Because then the boy came over
and he like, what do you call itwhen you, like, shove someone's
head down quickly, like. Assault.
What are you talking about? He like, grabbed the other
girl's head and, like, just, like, pushed her head.
(27:40):
Yeah. Bullying, Yeah.
And then he was like, messing with her arm and then pushed
basically. He like ended up hitting me.
The teacher. No, the child, a 14 year old
boy. I know, but you're playing the
teacher, yes? Right they were.
It was not during a scene. It was just him being a child
(28:02):
with other children. So he was coming over and he was
like messing with them and hitting.
He like hit the back of her headand then hit her arm and then
she recoiled and then his arm hit me.
So his whole ass 14 year old boyarm like smashed into my body.
And I looked at him like, you'regoing to need to apologize right
(28:26):
now. But it's like, if not for him it
we would have just been in peace, you know what I mean?
Like he had to make it weird andannoying.
So otherwise we would have just been vibing as very young people
that all get along and get it, you know?
I guess I'm confused what on what the stance is.
(28:47):
What do you based on the story that you just told, what is the
stance that you actually really like 14 year olds until this guy
came in and ruined it? No, it was just they seem chill
and cool and were complimenting me.
And you were suspicious. And I was suspicious, but I was
willing to like wade through it.And then the 14 year old boy
(29:10):
came in and reminded me why I don't like.
I get what you're saying. Yeah, children and most men.
I would also urge you though to not care what the 14 year olds
think. Why?
Because why does it matter? Well, it's kind of like how when
you compliment me it's nice, butif someone on the Internet
compliments me, it's like what astranger?
(29:33):
So like a 14 year old has nothing to gain by complimenting
me. Right.
They're just. But I'm saying if they don't
compliment you, yeah, that's fine.
Just don't look into it. They're 14.
They're probably doing the baseline.
They're either being stupid or they're they have an opinion
that's not really. Respectfully relevant.
Well I'm only going to think it's relevant if it's positive.
(29:59):
If it's really she's honest, If it serves me then I love their
opinion and if it doesn't serve me then they should shut up.
I know you played one, but I actually think you'd be a good
teacher. I do.
What leads you to believe I would be a good teacher?
You'd be no nonsense. Sure, in the best.
Possible, but then no one would like.
Nobody but you'd be effective. It's not about the the measure
(30:22):
of a good teacher is not do the students like you a.
Lot of people would say it's do they?
Respect you and did they learn? OK if they like you that's
great. They shouldn't hate you, but I
feel like you would set very clear boundaries with everyone
and the second they tried to cross them the hammer would come
(30:43):
down. Yeah.
And I feel like that's a that's a quality it would be very
difficult for a lot of teachers to have.
I couldn't be a teacher for thatexact reason.
I'd be too worried about like being the cool teacher.
You know, I can see that based on the fact that when you went
to do a guest speaking thing, you wore a Sport coat and sat on
(31:05):
the desk because. What's wrong with that?
Because you thought that would appear more casual?
What? What's wrong with wearing a
Sport coat? I just think it's funny that you
sat on the desk. What's wrong with sitting on the
desk? Because it's very like, turn the
chair around and sit in a minute.
Is that did you? What's wrong with that?
No, I don't. There was a chair.
Did you also do that? No, there weren't chairs.
(31:26):
It's very turn the chair around and sit in it backwards to be
relatable. I just, you know, at some point
on the podcast or off, frankly, it would be nice if you'd share
something about me you'd like. Honey I.
I'm just saying. I'm just saying.
Also no one. What?
(31:50):
Yes. No one listens to a podcast of
people complimenting each other.Picture it.
Picture it now. Normally there's more of like a
repartee, if you will, of sometimes they agree, sometimes
they don't agree. We do agree on the law.
A lot of stuff. Listen.
Back on this, we do not. I don't think I was trying to be
(32:11):
cool. I was just sitting down.
Not everything has an agenda. You don't typically just sit on
desk. All I'm saying is they've called
on me multiple times so it must not be that bad.
How? No, it's not bad.
I think it was it was the exact desired effect.
(32:32):
You seemed cool and approachable.
I'm just giggling and kicking myfeet because I've never once you
seen you sit on a countertop andor a desk.
No, let me clarify for you. You've never seen me sit in a
college classroom. Correct?
We didn't go to school together.Good Lord.
(32:55):
Anyway, I do think you'd be a good teacher.
Thanks. If you ever want to do that
someday. I actually, I I still think I
might. I might do it.
I don't think I can. But never as a full time job,
but like as a hobby side. One class every year type of
thing. Don't they do background checks
like this would come up in the? Oh, we would fail.
All of the Judge Judy moments where I'm talking about children
(33:18):
shoving something up there, waitwould come up.
I had the thought for a second this week.
One second. OK, what if one day I ran for
office? OK, I had the thought.
I had the thought. I was thinking like, what if I
should be the change I want to see, You know, what if I should?
(33:40):
What if I should do this? Should I look into this?
I'm somewhat into politics. I have I have an interest in it.
Not like in in. I'm not like these guys you see
on TikTok. Same as you thinking you could
land a plane. I don't think literal you.
Know very different. Very different.
Because I don't think I could land a plane.
I know I could land a plane. OK, I don't think I know I could
(34:00):
land a plane. This is the same audacity, you
know, like I sort of like I didn't say I didn't say I should
run for all. The way different, way
different. I didn't say I like politics.
I will be president someday. Different.
That's very different, I said. I thought about what if I ran
for office someday. That's all.
(34:21):
That's the thought. First thing that popped in my
head, the podcast they would askabout what my wife said on the
podcast Scandal all over TMZ. Wait, you're saying that I would
ruin? I would be your downfall, your
political downfall. Absolutely yes.
Without a doubt. Are you kidding me?
(34:43):
Nothing you've said. No, I am squeaky clean.
OK. You would be my political
downfall. Yes, absolutely you would.
I'm comfortable with that, but Ialso think you're so insane.
They would, I would be at a debate and they would go
Cameron, because that's what they call everybody by the first
names and debates. They don't say Senator whatever
(35:05):
they say Cameron. Is it true that back in 2018
your wife told XY and Z to shovesome something up her ass?
Yeah, said technically, that is.True Monday following that,
yeah. Is it true that back in 2020, in
the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, you and your wife said
(35:26):
on a podcast it's just a cold? Take that cruise you pussy.
And I'd have to say yes, I'd have to be honest, I would never
make it. But then again, the current
person at the highest office in the world, not exactly a quality
human being. So like, maybe I have exactly
(35:47):
what it takes. I don't know.
Anything is possible. Background check.
No, we're not passing. We're not passing that.
So funny. What's funny that you you think
that I you think it's funny thatI think that I could maybe do
something. OK, I get it.
That's that's really hilarious. No, I think it's funny that you.
(36:12):
I just think it's, Yeah, I thinkit's funny that you even thought
about running for office. I didn't think about.
I didn't. I thought about what I could do
for other people. I didn't think about myself.
I'm being selfless, selfless, self selfless.
So I had the my, I my. Experience Can I play the voice
(36:35):
note from my scene or is it not funny enough?
Sure. No, go ahead and play it.
While you look that up, I'm going to look up everything that
you've failed at in the past. Have you seen Father?
Hold it into the microphone. He's down there in the garden.
Does he know you're here? A little bit more?
(36:55):
Don't think so. It's not loud enough.
Turn it up. Isn't it up?
Oh. There you go, Put that on
speaker. Have you seen Father?
Yes, he's down there in the garden.
Does he know you're here? Don't think so.
Don't think so. Wow, that's offensive.
(37:18):
That's going to come up in the background check.
Every single time I listen to itto memorize the scene.
So you're supposed to read it like a robot when you're
memorizing? The scene, because normally I
would be embarrassed at that performance.
I am a much more accomplished actor than that.
Sure you're supposed to read it by rote, which means basically
(37:40):
robotic and so to memorize it soI had you read a voice note
basically of the whole scene with me, but the and I didn't
want to redo it because we had already been up forever and it
was like midnight by the time wewere recording that and then
whenever you were like don't sayso I was like it's fine keep
(38:03):
going I'm. Going to be honest with you,
I've had a lot of experiences inmy life.
I've been nervous about a lot ofthings.
I think heights of my nervousness when I sub hosted a
morning radio show in Los Angeles and 30 other cities.
I was a little nervous. I was more nervous recording
(38:28):
this voice note. Why?
Why this? Scene for you.
Why then? Maybe anything I've ever done.
What? Yes.
I'm so shocked. What do you mean?
Why? Because it's 6 pages long of
gobbledygook and I'm like if I fuck it up 3 pages in then.
We have to start over. We have to start over.
(38:49):
Whatever. No, that is so much pressure.
You were more nervous to record this bullshit.
Yes. What?
You're shitting me. No, I I am not shitting you,
honey. I don't think.
I don't think. I don't think so.
I don't think so. I just kept barreling through.
(39:09):
I wasn't going to start. By the way, can we get rid of
this nice quiet chair? Yeah, we're going to do a garage
sale. So if you're a podcast listener
and you live in the area we're getting rid of, I mean some
good. Shit, it's a lot of quality
stuff. Have you ever done a garage
sale? When I was like a child.
(39:31):
OK, I'm a little nervous about the garage sale too.
Why? Because I know exactly how it's
going to go. No, we're going to put something
out on a table. We're going to price it at $10.
Some guy's going to walk up and they're going to say, can you
take 3 for this? And you're going to tell him to
go fuck himself. You got you got to let me handle
the negotiations. You think I'm going to be
(39:51):
prideful? Absolute What Have you met you?
Are you going to be prideful? Well, I think what we have to
keep in mind is that at the end of the day, if stuff isn't gone,
then we have to deal with it. Right.
So I have to just keep that at the forefront of my brain that
(40:11):
basically what anything, anything better than free is a
good deal. Time is money.
They can just have it. Yeah, but you have to.
So. OK, so if we put a $10 sticker
on a lamp and someone comes up and says.
Three, let's do it right now. I'll be us.
You be the buyer. Garage sale.
That's a good day. Huh.
(40:31):
Oh hi I see this lamp is 10 but can you do 3?
I can do 7. I'll give you 5.
Call it 6 and we'll we'll make it a deal.
See, you would go back another time.
Yeah, honey, it's a dollar. Wouldn't you just take 5 though?
(40:54):
No, I'd take 6. So if it's listed for. 10 Let's
do it again. Let's let's raise the stakes a
bit. We're selling a We have a Miss
Pac-Man machine in the other room.
That's not a good. Example, we're not going to sell
that. We might.
No, I'm kind of. I'm kind of dancing around it in
(41:15):
my head. A little bit takes up a lot of
space. OK, we don't have to, but let's
just pretend we're going to sellit.
OK, what would you even list it for?
I'd list it out there for 100 bucks.
OK. Because yes, they are 300 new or
whatever, but you can they're all over Facebook for like 100
bucks. Here we go.
(41:35):
OK. Hi.
I see that you have this. Whoa.
Can you stop grabbing my ass? OK, go ahead.
This Miss Pacman machine, can you do 50?
No, I can't really do 50. Yeah, these just they run around
300 new. I could probably do.
Let's see, what is it at. My wife put a sticker on these.
(41:57):
It's at 100. I think I could do.
I can come down to 90 on it. Oh, I think the best I could do.
I think the best I could do willbe 70.
I can do 85, but that's really about all I can do.
See, you lost me. I don't think I'm going to pay
85, honey. You only gave me 15 off ma'am.
(42:18):
Ma'am, ma'am, ma'am. You only gave.
Me, ma'am, You're not going to haggle me on my own property?
So then what? You lose the sale.
You just counteracted the point you made the first example you
said I came down too low. No, I said I I also no the first
example I was saying why wouldn't you take 5 and you said
(42:40):
no I need 6. Oh, I see.
This was the same thing because I got money.
Here's how you see how serious they are.
If they start walking away, thenyou go.
You know what? Yeah.
I'll do 80 on it Works every time.
It's called The Art of a Deal. The Art of the Deal.
Maybe I should write a book? I think someone's already
(43:01):
written that book. Damn.
OK, I am kind of excited. I told talked to my parents on
the phone a couple days ago and felt like they were asking for
updates on stuff and I told themwe might do a garage sale and I
said that I would try to record you and they suggested I set up
the Ring doorbell. Honey.
(43:22):
Near proximity of the garage sale so we can get some good.
And I thought, I'm like, that's probably one of their better
ideas. It's a really quality idea.
That's so. Are you serious?
This is how little faith you have in me.
It's not. No.
This is the utmost faith in the fact that you will cause a scene
at the garage sale. Absolutely you will.
(43:43):
And I can't wait. It's going to be exhilarating.
So you think we're not getting out of the day without me
telling someone to fuck off? I don't think you'll say fuck
off. But you think I'll grab
something out of someone's handsand put it back in the garage?
Yeah, so you will be offended bysomething for sure.
You think you think I will deny a sale to someone out of pure
(44:07):
spite? No, I don't think that I know
that. I know that's exactly what's
going to happen. I'm worried about selling the
house. Because at some point, OK,
actually I'm talking myself intothis.
Because at some point not selling it to someone tastes
sweeter than them getting it for$4.
(44:28):
And I don't disagree with you onthat.
It really depends on the. Because I would rather light it
on fire. Like I, you know what I mean?
I would, I think it really depends on the person though.
If somebody walks up and let's say it's a little old lady,
right? She comes with her granddaughter
and they're walking around. She's like.
Wow, this is a corridor. They see, yeah, they see a vase
they like, and it's $5 and they're like, oh, we can do 3.
(44:51):
And we're like, no, we got to do5 and one.
Oh, that's OK Well, you guys have a sweet day.
Oh, really? Hope the sale goes well.
And they're like, no, God, that fucking sweet old lady.
Yeah, you can take it for three.But if somebody's going to be an
asshole. Yeah.
No way. Yeah, if you're an asshole and
get me over asking, I'm going totell you to fuck yourself, you
(45:11):
know? No one ever once had a garage
sale gave over asking. You know what I mean.
The point remains. Sure anyway.
Garage sale. Gary Vee.
Come through it, it's not going to be scary at all.
I promise to be nice. Are you prepared to, Judith?
(45:32):
Sure do. You get it.
Listen to me very carefully. I know everything.
You're a moron social lover. You are an example of why people
should have to take tests beforethey're allowed to have
children. Do you get it?
I we all know. We all know that I'm a sucker
(45:55):
for a birthday plan. OK, we all know it.
I will move heaven and earth forsomeone's birthday slash.
Whatever if a friend needs it. Amen.
However, you know, I throw out aton of ideas.
I do the what I can my I have anacquaintance slash friend that
slash networking what. A lot of slashes.
(46:20):
Whatever, I'm trying to, like, define her in my life.
But anyways, she's an acquaintance slash friend slash
colleague. Yeah, in the industry.
Very nice person. Very nice person.
And I celebrate her birthday usually every year.
And this year she texted me and was talking about her birthday
(46:43):
plan the day before. And I was like, wait, I was
never invited to this. Yeah.
And also we were dealing with a family emergency.
So even though she texted me theday before, I couldn't just
change everything and go, right?She was texting me like, Oh
yeah, so for tomorrow, I'll see you at blah, blah blah.
And I was like, see me at blah blah blah.
(47:03):
I'm going to be blah blah blah I.
Was never invited to blah, blah,blah.
And then I was like, well, even though I wasn't invited in the
1st place, she thought she had invited me.
Sure. I can't make it because we're
dealing with a family emergency all weekend.
Yeah. So I said I'll make it up to you
next week. I'll take you to dinner or
whatever. And she was like, I miss cooking
(47:26):
for people. I'd rather just hang out at my
house and like, let's cook together.
And I was like, great. So then a couple days later I
followed up and was like great, how about Thursday night?
She was like great Thursday night.
And I said, do you still want meto come over or do you want to
go out? Then she said, I want to go out.
I'm like, OK, so we're not cooking together at your place.
(47:46):
Got it. Noted.
So then I sent her four restaurant options, all mid
level places, you know, $2.00 signs on Yelp, not 4, not 1-2
dollar signs. OK, mid level places I know she
likes because she's been there once before.
(48:07):
Sure. Or we've been there once before.
But quality places to take her out.
Yeah, and places I know they do a cute birthday dessert or have
a cute patio or have a cute ambiance.
I'm not taking you to Chili's for your birthday.
Whatever. I'm taking you to a place I know
is good. I sent her four options and she
(48:29):
sent me back somewhere she wouldprefer instead and it was $3
signs. Now I sent her a sushi option
being Sugar Fish. And if you're in LA or you know
(48:50):
what, Sugar Fish is a nice restaurant.
Delightful. A well priced restaurant, not
cheap, but well priced. But appropriately.
Priced very fair and you don't tip there because tip is
included. So I sent her that option.
She goes, oh, you made me think of my favorite sushi place.
(49:11):
And she sent me the link and it's like double the price of
sugar fish double. So I sent her a lovely sushi
option and she sent me back whatshe actually wanted, which was
like an insane version of sugar fish.
And I'm like, OK, this is such aweird position now, 'cause what
(49:33):
am I supposed to respond? I can't afford it or I don't
want to. What do you say to the birthday
person? Is that what it's an?
Awkward position to be in. What would our therapist say to
say back, 'cause she's out of town right now?
Looks really. Cool, I would love to treat you,
(49:55):
but that one's not quite in my price range.
So she would say to say a nice version of I can't afford.
It yeah, and I agree with her. It would be OK to say that.
And you understand why it's not within my being to say that?
I understand why you have a problem with it, but I think.
You would have said that I'm if you were in the exact same
(50:15):
situation, would you have said it?
No, no I wouldn't have because it wasn't.
It was pricier than the one you suggested, but not like it's not
the most expensive birthday dinner we've ever done, you know
what I mean? So in that sense it's like, OK,
but if it was like, oh, you go there and it's $80.00 for a
(50:36):
cheeseburger, OK, Fucking obviously we're not going to a
Michelin star place. This place was a little more
expensive than we would have liked, but not like we're going
to go broke because of. It this was like.
Is that fair? Sure.
This was like $80 a person. So would you have said 150 a
person is too much? A hundred a person is too much.
(50:59):
Like I would say for a special birthday occasion, I think that
that's not awful because that's including drinks, right?
Yeah, that's not the worst. It's a birthday.
Yeah, it's not. It's not the worst.
I know, but also not a best friend and acquaintance, right?
(51:21):
Gray area Gray. Area so I just think it's
interesting because sugar fish is like 50 bucks a person she
sent me back 7080 bucks a personinstead and it's like OK so the
place I was going to take you that I offered wasn't good
enough yeah it's like if she if I sent her pizza, Italian sushi
(51:47):
and Thai and she sent me back South African OK because I
didn't send you South Africa. But this is literally one of the
options you put of. Course, right then if, if it's
like I'm just really craving South African food, but you sent
me these four options and I justdon't really.
I'm not craving that. It's different her a sushi
(52:10):
option that's classy and nice and literally 2 minutes away
from this place. So it's in the same area of
town. It's 2 minutes down the road.
She sent me back a sushi place that's just two minutes away and
more expensive. Here's the real issue here.
(52:31):
If if if we're friends and I want to take you out for your
birthday, you got to let me pickif you have an idea for your
birthday dinner, you want to suggest do that to begin with,
right? That's the actual problem if
you're going to. Suggest it.
Suggest it first, don't reject all four of my options and then
suggest something. Else don't let me put options
(52:51):
out there. And then you ignore them and we
go to the place you wanted to anyway and then I still pay.
That's weird. What makes it worse is this
place sucked ass. The sushi was large and warm.
We sat indoors but it felt outdoors because there was gnats
(53:11):
crawling in my soy sauce. It wasn't that classy feeling at
all, and I just did not enjoy it.
I wish I enjoyed it. I wish that I didn't feel like
it was weird to me. It was fucking weird.
So if someone's trying to do something nice for you on your
(53:32):
birthday and you shove it back in their face, don't do that.
Just shove it up your ass instead.
Judgement to the plaintiff Do. You get it.
I love it. Have you been seeing all the
people on TikTok? Or Judge Judy videos.
Doing lip syncing to Judge Judy.Yeah, including Jesse McCartney.
(53:53):
I have, I've seen the Judge Judylip syncing and then also the
baby ones. I both I think are funny
honestly. I think Jesse McCartney's at the
top of my list. There's one other guy.
He's. So good.
I forget this guy's name. He pops up in my feet a lot.
He's so good at it, too. They're just.
It's just the best and I really want to do it.
(54:15):
I'm just memorizing so much stuff recently but I really want
to do it. It's super fun, but I feel like
people are just now starting to really discover Judge Judy,
which isn't true, but like youngpeople are starting to discover.
Her don't you have like a semi Jude?
I listen. I've tried to Jude before and I
(54:38):
feel like it just doesn't work. Fine, but the gentle barn or the
Lowe's? Oh yeah, that's OK.
I'll save. I'll save Gentle Barn for next
time. I will, because I, I, I feel
like it's part of a larger conversation.
You know what I'm saying? Fine, stay tuned on the edge of
(54:58):
your seat for some hot fire the tease gentle barn updates.
That's how they do it on Love Island tomorrow night.
Next Monday coming up, stay tuned for some controversial
volunteer drama. Have a good week everyone.
Thanks for putting up with us. We're a little bit all over the
(55:20):
place and honestly, I like it. Therapeutic, sure, it's good
stuff. What's wrong?
Nothing. You.
Oh. What happened?
You don't like me again? No.
Tell me what's going on. Nothing, I'm just tired.
(55:42):
Subscribe to Mostly True Opinions on iHeartRadio, Apple
Podcasts, or wherever you listento podcasts.
Hey, imagine that, two millennials doing a podcast to
avoid legalizing the purge. Yeah, probably because they
can't afford therapy. This is mostly true opinions.
It is mostly true opinions. Good to see you everyone.
(00:27):
Or good to hear. Good for you to hear me.
I don't fucking know man. It worked.
Bad Exactly 1 glass of wine. I'm telling you 2025, I have
dramatically cut back my alcoholintake.
So now you're a cheap date. I like it, it's pretty chill.
One glass of wine. How's you feeling I?
(00:49):
Don't even know if I had a full glass to be honest with you.
I had like a Dixie cup. Please, please be honest.
That's a phrase that people say.I saw the glass.
It was a regular sized glass. No, it had a lot of ice in it.
It it was ice down wine. Whatever.
So. We didn't have the time to chill
(01:09):
the wine, but we did have the time to drink it and.
There's a lesson in that. Is that Doctor Seuss is that
Shell Silverstein. Remember those books where the
sidewalk ends? I used to have that until we
moved last time and then I got rid of it.
Yeah, well, you know, it's. So what do you mean by last
(01:30):
time? Last time we moved is what I
mean we're. Going to move again.
Wow, sorry did I need to? RIP the Band-Aid.
Well, I mean, you just kind of said it.
Do we need some sort of hang on?Is it?
I don't even know what I have anymore for.
What kind of music is moving music like news break music?
(01:55):
Vamp for a second. Oh, go on.
Wow, this was so great. I don't.
That's not a stall. No, this was so great that you
here it is. Here's moving Band-Aid off.
Here is moving music. Yeah, that's it.
It's too loud. I always think that.
It's really not. We're moving again.
(02:19):
Wow. Oh, who saw it coming?
Not us. Not.
Not necessarily. No.
No. Are we the ones making the
choice? Yes.
Do we have to move? No.
Are we still moving? Are we being called to?
Yes, Yeah. No.
(02:43):
We're still moving in, I'll be honest with you, in Los Angeles.
With everything, we don't have to get into it.
It's not this type of podcast, but with everything going on in
LA this weekend and there's beena couple other things over the
last couple of years, I'm not fucking going anywhere.
We are standing this bitch, Yeah, you know, going down with
the ship. If it's going down, I.
(03:04):
Mean we never were going to leave.
I know. I just feel I, I feel honestly,
I think it took me, I was thinking about this today.
The first couple years I had a love hate with LA and then like
probably a year before I met you, I was like, no, I really
like it. And it was never, it was never
(03:24):
like, I can't stand being here. It was like do I need to be here
right? That's so interesting.
I always wanted to come here, got here, loved it and never
wanted to leave. I always wanted to come here,
but after spending time here, like struggling for a beat, I
was like, is this things are expensive, whatever, blah, blah,
(03:44):
blah. Then about a year before I met
you, I was like, no, I really like it.
We've been obviously together for a long time.
We have liked it the entire timewe've been together.
I would say the last two years, maybe 3, it went from, yeah, I'm
going to be here to like, this is my home, you know?
OK. Like that?
(04:06):
I used to. I'm from Saint Louis.
I was a Cardinals fan all my life, was passively a Dodgers
fan living in LA. Now I am a Dodgers fan.
You know what I mean? No, I mean, I'm hearing you and
I'm open to it. I don't know what you mean in
the sense that I've never felt that way.
I you've. Never felt which way.
I felt like I never had an allegiance ever once to Arkansas
(04:29):
and I refused to go cheer on theHogs.
I, I actively wanted to get out of there like the entire time I
lived there. And the second I got to Lai was
like, thank God. I don't care if it's expensive.
I will pay any price to live here.
It costs money to live in somewhere you want to be.
(04:51):
It's a sunshine tax, we always say.
So I was just like, this is whatit costs to have the life I
want. That's fine.
I guess the the best way for me to put it is not that I didn't
feel called to be here or want to be here.
It's like I felt like I was posing as an LA person.
So you're thinking it takes likea decade to be a resident?
(05:12):
I think so. For me it did.
For me it did. Sure, I guess so.
That's fine. I don't think I I mean, I didn't
move here and immediately be like, well, I'm a Los Angelina,
like whatever. Yeah, yeah.
So I guess that totally makes sense.
But I, yeah, I liked it the whole time.
And I was willing to work however many jobs at most times,
(05:35):
3 jobs is what it took to live without assistance from family
or the government. And that was fine with me and it
has remained fine with me. Here's the thing, I keep
equivocating. Whoa, whoa. $5 word home
(05:56):
ownership to parenthood. OK, because you're always tired,
you don't have time for the things you actually want to be
doing, and you're broke. Now, I'm not saying every parent
is broke and tired and without time, but a lot of them say
(06:17):
those are side effects of parenthood.
Sure. So we're making overarching
statements, but so am I about home ownership.
Everyone tells you you should doit.
Everyone says you should be a parent, you'll love it.
Everyone says buy a house, you'll love it.
Yeah, sure, there are parts of this that we love.
Absolutely. But.
(06:39):
Parts we're going to miss very much.
Sure. But I don't.
I'm not going to miss the hours and hours and hours it takes to
upkeep the square footage that we have, the yard that we have.
I'm not going to miss the extra jobs I had to pick up so that we
would save money and pay off thethings we need to pay off.
(07:06):
And you're not going to miss thecommute.
The After the fires in LA, your commute went up to two hours one
way. It has been insane to the point
where I I came today to the house and for whatever reason,
traffic was not so bad. And I was like, holy shit, this
is what it could be like. Yeah.
(07:27):
This is what? Well, it's what it used to be
like. It is what it used to be like.
And then, you know, on top of all this, there's like we have
not quite yet felt the impact ofinsurance costs from the fires
that happened that is on the way.
Totally fucked. We're going to get effed on
that. We're going to get effed on
several things. The.
Fires did not take our physical house, but it took our time and
(07:50):
a ton of our impending money. Yes, and it's not something if
our whole existence was we feel fulfilled.
If I felt fulfilled by being a homemaker and by having the
thing that everyone strives for in a home and a pool and living
in LA County and owning this house, then dig your heels in,
(08:18):
work hard and keep it. But our priority in life isn't
to fill the extra two. Well, we have 4 bedrooms.
Our priority in life isn't to fill our extra bedrooms with a
family. Our priority in life isn't to
spend 3 hours on the weekend doing yard work.
Our priority in life is to travel, to prioritize our
(08:39):
creativity and our careers and not spend 4 hours because it's
it's been taking you 2 hours to get to work, 2 hours to get home
after the fires. Every single extra check I earn
is going to an extra home expense, an extra.
We had to replace our pool pump.We had to replace pool tiles.
We had to replace like had to buy a car.
(09:04):
We had to, yeah, I had to buy a car.
Whatever. Anyways, I'm saying home stuff,
not the car. The car was fine.
Yeah, that's true. But anyways, we're prioritizing
that. We don't want a family and we
don't want to spend our weekendscleaning the house.
IA 100% and I also think that I also think that I during COVID,
(09:33):
we this was kind of like an escape for us coming up to where
we live, our first place in thisplace.
I'm feeling so-called to like get back into the thick of it.
You know what I mean? The travel thing that you
brought up is, is a, a big part of that.
But like you were, you were so busy.
We both are so busy and now is kind of the time to lean in or
(09:57):
not. And I, I think it's going to be
great. If anybody's been watching Hacks
this season, there was an episode, I think it was episode
9, where Gene Smart says this was the dream and I got it and
now the dream has changed and I'm like, that is fucking so
(10:18):
spot. On 'cause this was the dream,
and then we accomplished it and we could.
The thing is, no one's holding us at gunpoint to leave.
Not at all. But the dream changed, and if
you're gonna sell a house, you need to sell it during the
summer when families are moving before.
(10:39):
Yeah, it's a whole thing. Before their kids go back to
school. So the reason it's happening so
fast is because we want to get the most money out of our house
before the government goes to shit.
I mean a little bit. Before that happens and before
families well timed go back to school and it's just happening
(11:03):
fast now, but it's for the greater good.
Yeah. Anyways, I feel like we're
breaking it. This feels like we're parents
getting a divorce, breaking it to their children when it's not
even that big of a deal. No, no, no, no.
And I think and we're, and to behonest, we're very, very
fortunate to be in this position.
Work worked really hard to get here, but very fortunate that
(11:24):
we're in this position. So the new dream is rent
something that's hella awesome closer into the city, still has
a little yard for the little dogs, and buy an investment
property in Joshua Tree. That's the idea.
A rental property. I think it would be great.
(11:45):
Yeah. The desert that we talked about
on the podcast, the desert Vortex, is that what we call the
energy vortex? Energy vortex.
It's real, that's the thing. So well, you know, stay tuned
for the next chapter, the rentalslash still by chapter and we'll
see. But I do kind of think home
(12:07):
ownership is very parallel to parenthood.
I think that most people would agree with you.
I don't know, pop off and let meknow the DMS.
There is, you know, we are too. Not your entire life, but too
Midwestern raised people and allthey preach to you in those
(12:29):
areas are like here are here arethe steps of success.
Buy a house, have a family. Buy a house, get married, have a
hire. Or, you know, get married, buy a
house, have a family. Right.
And those are very big milestones for many people and
very commendable, but it's not the way that everyone has to be.
(12:51):
Yeah. That's all, Do your thing.
It does feel at least empoweringthat it's not like we're being
forced out, we're just choosing a different path because it
makes the most sense for our lifestyle.
Right. I would love to be able to just
hop on a plane and hey, there's a fun concert happening in New
York. Right.
(13:11):
And I thought we, I, I just think we found our perfect
square footage and it's not this.
It's it isn't, isn't that funny?Yeah, it this is too big.
We went, we, we went too big. We overcorrect it.
We the the neighbors, if you arean OG and you listen to the pod
(13:31):
when a year ago when we were moving out of the townhouse that
we had the neighbors made us feel claustrophobic.
But I don't think the square footage was claustrophobic.
I don't think so at all. So.
I don't think so at all. If I I even thought about that
earlier today because I'm like what do we do at that house
versus what do we do at this house?
(13:51):
The same shit. Yeah.
The literal and you you said a couple weeks ago, these other
two bedrooms that we have we have spent collectively between
the two of us maybe an hour and a half of now it like
legitimately. Yeah.
So anyway, it'll be good. It'll be good.
Very stressful time to be alive at the moment.
A lot of moving parts, but I really do think that we're we're
(14:14):
turning the corner on something really exciting.
Yeah. Personally, and it's very easy.
I don't know. It's very easy to move in the
middle of busy lives. Very easy.
Yeah, moving is super fun. Moving stress free.
I don't know about you guys stress free.
I tell you one thing that makes it better, something that makes
(14:36):
it a lot easier. God, just USA even even our dogs
love this theme song they do. When they hear it, they get
amped. Love Island.
I feel like they need that. Yes, I was thinking that either
Love Island. So wouldn't that be good?
(14:59):
A whisper. Yeah, over the intro right there
at the end when the title comes up.
Love Island. But it no it needs to be
British. Love Island.
It needs to be the narrator doing his.
It's hard to to OK, it is hard to whisper in a British accent
the same way it's hard to sing in a British accent.
Think about that. I don't get it.
Do you ever heard Adele sing? When you're hearing her sing,
(15:25):
you go, oh, she's singing in a British accent.
No, everyone sounds American when they're singing.
Why? I don't know, it's mind blowing.
I don't think she sounds American.
Never mind, I'll find Someone Like You.
She's not going. Never mind, I'll find Someone
Like You. Isn't that funny?
(15:46):
Have you ever noticed? Have you never noticed that?
OK, first of all, stop being so proud of yourself.
Yes, I've noticed that I haven'tgiven it a lot of thought, Ed.
Sheeran, I'm in love of shape ofyou.
That's not what he's doing. He sound.
They don't sound. Here's the thing.
Come on. No, no.
You know I'm right. They don't sound American, they
(16:11):
just don't sound as British. Does that make sense?
They don't. Sound again.
They don't sound fully American,they just don't sound as
British. It's like watered down.
No, it's like watered down accent.
I just don't think he got a key.Also, you're wrong.
(16:32):
What am I wrong about? Dialect.
If it's still English, it's a dialect, and if it's foreign
it's an accent. Explain.
I get it. But explain it like you would to
a first grader, just for our listening.
Audience, you totally get it, but explain it again.
One more time. If the language you're speaking
(16:57):
is English. Right.
But it's in a different style. It's called a dialect.
So the language, the words are still English, but it's in a
British dialect. What was the other example you
gave? I don't recall.
(17:19):
What are we talking about? An accent.
You're saying accent, but it's actually a dialect.
OK then. Then what is an accent if that's
a dialect? An accent is like.
An accent's not a different language.
No. An accent is what you would
refer to as like if someone's speaking Mandarin.
(17:40):
Uh huh. Then they have like a Chinese
accent. So when somebody says it's a
British accent, that's incorrect.
Right, it's a dialect. It's a British dialect.
Yes. Are you sure about that?
Yes. Listen to me very carefully, I
know everything. Are you sure about that?
(18:00):
Yeah, Google it Put dialect versus accent into Google.
Dialect versus accent and accentrefers to the distinct
pronunciation of a language or dialect.
Well, a dialect encompasses the broader linguistic variations,
(18:23):
including pronunciation, vocabulary, and grammar.
I don't, I don't understand it, don't understand it still.
OK well in acting class I learned this.
This is dumbing it down. Accents are primarily how words
are pronounced. Dialect is pronunciation and
vocabulary. So pop versus soda, that's an
(18:47):
example of a dialect. So I think you're wrong, you
know what I'm saying. No.
Yeah, now you're, for example, someone from New York has an
accent and. No, that's okay, but that's not
what my acting teacher said, so maybe is he wrong?
I mean, what's his? Idea.
Was he a member? Of Mensa or something?
No, he literally was like, you used the wrong word.
(19:10):
Someone went up with a British, she went up with a British
accent, quote, UN quote. And he was like, no, that's a
dialect. OK, he's one of those guys, huh?
Yeah, that's very annoying. Well, I'm just saying what I was
told this week. So if he's wrong, then what's
what is even real? He reminds me of my 8th grade
teacher, Mr. Fiala, who I used to raise my hand.
(19:33):
Yes, Cameron. Can I go to the bathroom?
I don't know. Can.
You, yeah. Fuck you motherfucker, you know
what I mean? I want I I haven't asked him
yet, but when I'm like, oh, how are you doing?
I don't. He must be one of those guys
that's like, I'm well. He he yeah, he was.
Yeah, I did. I did love Mr. Fiala.
(19:56):
I wasn't trying to shame him. He was a really good.
Teacher. I don't think he listens.
No, he might, that's the thing. Big big fan.
Big fan of. Really.
Cameron No, I don't know. I don't know.
Imagine having the confidence ofsomeone that thinks their middle
school teacher listens to their adult podcast.
You know, I don't have that level of confidence, but what I
do think about is if I was a teacher, I totally would.
(20:18):
What? Yeah, I'd be very curious about
what my students were up. To First of all, I wouldn't know
anything about them, nor would Iif I were a teacher.
I don't think I would actually remember their names if I were a
teacher. I think I would go hey buddy to
every student. I don't think I think that
you're lying to yourself about that.
(20:38):
You think that I would be invested?
No, it's not that you'd be invested.
You would not be able to turn off the part of your brain that
would retain the information. Fine you.
Are right now for this for said acting class, you're memorizing
A5 page script. It is not a five page script
because it was written in what looks like Microsoft Word.
So realistically, like if it waswritten as an actual format,
(21:03):
it'd probably be 12 pages and you were memorizing it so fast,
so quickly. It's mind blowing to me.
I don't understand how you can do it.
Thank you. I would literally like and
you're doing it in like chunks and somehow when you get to like
the third chunk, you still remember the first chunk.
(21:24):
Yeah. It's so impressive.
Thank you. I don't get how you do.
It I didn't lose I memorization is like a a muscle.
You've been always really good at it.
But I don't think I lost my juju.
Yeah. I think I still got it.
I still got it, Yeah. I don't know.
I worked with, I did a YouTube shoot this weekend.
(21:47):
Yeah. And I was playing a teacher, so
my acting had to be really good.And I was working with four
children that said they were in 7th grade.
How old are you in 7th grade? 14.
And they were going. Into no sorry 13.
(22:08):
They were going into eighth grade, so probably 14.
OK, yeah. And it was weird 'cause they
there was 3 girls and a boy OK and they were in the scene and
there was a couple, 2-3 of them were extras.
(22:29):
And I was across the scene with one girl, got it OK.
And she kept like, telling me how pretty I was and like really
buttering me up. OK.
But my gut instinct is like, dislike her.
Do you know what I mean? Like my gut instinct is like,
what even are you? You're like a sassy 14 year old
(22:50):
Jen. What?
They're not even Gen. Z.
What is it? Alpha.
Yeah, EW. I think you're right to be a
little suspicious. I was just suspicious of like,
what's your deal? Right.
Why do you want to be friends with me?
And like, what's the Yeah. And like, is it?
Are you saying that compliment as like a weird charity?
(23:11):
Or is it ironically? Yeah, like, are you saying this?
And when I turn around, you're talking to these other little
nose miners and you're like, ah,see what I did there?
I was like what the fuck? Like I want my gut reaction was
to be like go fuck yourself. But then she was just like
pretty nice. And so that threw me off.
And she was like also pretty good at acting.
(23:36):
Oh OK. And I regretfully I, I
regretfully admit that she just like paid attention and such and
so the bare minimum and seemed just like, I don't know, it was
a weird experience because I waslike, how old are you?
And like what's your deal and what's your problem?
(23:57):
But then she was like complimenting me and telling me
I'm pretty and like talking to me like an adult and pretty good
at whatever we were doing. So then I was like, I guess I
like you. And that felt uncomfortable
(24:18):
because why is there even a reason to like anyone that's 14?
I feel like what you're describing is a pretty normal
human experience, but also maybelead with a foot of what?
What's the word? I'm searching for niceness.
(24:39):
I just. You know what I mean?
Here's the thing, I don't think I've ever met like a 14 year old
that I enjoyed the company of. Even when you were 14.
Yeah. I agree with that.
So I don't think in my whole lifespan I've been like, yeah,
this 14 year old is cool. So meeting one and who knows,
(25:01):
she might suck because I only was with her for three hours.
And like, I don't think anyone'scharacter can be fully shown in
three hours. So there's still a chance she
sucks, you know? But in those three hours it did
just like, I can't explain how much of A loop I was thrown for.
I was like, I mean, she, I'm, she's kind of an adult.
(25:27):
See, I think in these moments you have a hard time.
I can't compute. Well, it's you can't compute,
but you can't the part of your brain that's like I don't like
kids and teenagers can't let go.You know what I mean it she.
Let me say this, she started outa deficit because of my bias.
(25:48):
Right. So she even did she more work
than one would require, right? I don't.
It just makes me uncomfortable because it's like I'm not used
to this and I don't think I I'm not necessarily going to be
interfacing with 14 year olds a lot.
Why is it bad though? Why is it bad to come away with
(26:13):
this? Looking at it and going, I got
along with that 14 year old for the day.
I mean, I guess it's fine. So it's not bad, it's good.
You. Can it's like when we meet it,
when we go to dinner and we see a parent with their kid and
they're actually being a good parent, it's like, yeah, hell
(26:34):
yeah, you can. You can go, yes, that's great.
You're being a good parent. And that doesn't mean that you
also want a child, you know. She and then yeah, and then the
other just. Because you like this 14 year
old doesn't mean you want to hang out with 14.
Year olds. The other girl came over and she
was like, Oh my gosh, like your earrings so pretty or whatever.
(26:56):
Like she also complimented me. And in the night it felt like a
trick. Like I was like, did you guys
text about this? And you were both like, we
should tell her she is pretty because I was dressed as like a
teacher in a cardigan. Like there was nothing really
cute going on. And then.
But I will say girls are better than boys in every sense of
(27:18):
being a child. Because then the boy came over
and he like, what do you call itwhen you, like, shove someone's
head down quickly, like. Assault.
What are you talking about? He like, grabbed the other
girl's head and, like, just, like, pushed her head.
(27:40):
Yeah. Bullying, Yeah.
And then he was like, messing with her arm and then pushed
basically. He like ended up hitting me.
The teacher. No, the child, a 14 year old
boy. I know, but you're playing the
teacher, yes? Right they were.
It was not during a scene. It was just him being a child
(28:02):
with other children. So he was coming over and he was
like messing with them and hitting.
He like hit the back of her headand then hit her arm and then
she recoiled and then his arm hit me.
So his whole ass 14 year old boyarm like smashed into my body.
And I looked at him like, you'regoing to need to apologize right
(28:26):
now. But it's like, if not for him it
we would have just been in peace, you know what I mean?
Like he had to make it weird andannoying.
So otherwise we would have just been vibing as very young people
that all get along and get it, you know?
I guess I'm confused what on what the stance is.
(28:47):
What do you based on the story that you just told, what is the
stance that you actually really like 14 year olds until this guy
came in and ruined it? No, it was just they seem chill
and cool and were complimenting me.
And you were suspicious. And I was suspicious, but I was
willing to like wade through it.And then the 14 year old boy
(29:10):
came in and reminded me why I don't like.
I get what you're saying. Yeah, children and most men.
I would also urge you though to not care what the 14 year olds
think. Why?
Because why does it matter? Well, it's kind of like how when
you compliment me it's nice, butif someone on the Internet
compliments me, it's like what astranger?
(29:33):
So like a 14 year old has nothing to gain by complimenting
me. Right.
They're just. But I'm saying if they don't
compliment you, yeah, that's fine.
Just don't look into it. They're 14.
They're probably doing the baseline.
They're either being stupid or they're they have an opinion
that's not really. Respectfully relevant.
Well I'm only going to think it's relevant if it's positive.
(29:59):
If it's really she's honest, If it serves me then I love their
opinion and if it doesn't serve me then they should shut up.
I know you played one, but I actually think you'd be a good
teacher. I do.
What leads you to believe I would be a good teacher?
You'd be no nonsense. Sure, in the best.
Possible, but then no one would like.
Nobody but you'd be effective. It's not about the the measure
(30:22):
of a good teacher is not do the students like you a.
Lot of people would say it's do they?
Respect you and did they learn? OK if they like you that's
great. They shouldn't hate you, but I
feel like you would set very clear boundaries with everyone
and the second they tried to cross them the hammer would come
(30:43):
down. Yeah.
And I feel like that's a that's a quality it would be very
difficult for a lot of teachers to have.
I couldn't be a teacher for thatexact reason.
I'd be too worried about like being the cool teacher.
You know, I can see that based on the fact that when you went
to do a guest speaking thing, you wore a Sport coat and sat on
(31:05):
the desk because. What's wrong with that?
Because you thought that would appear more casual?
What? What's wrong with wearing a
Sport coat? I just think it's funny that you
sat on the desk. What's wrong with sitting on the
desk? Because it's very like, turn the
chair around and sit in a minute.
Is that did you? What's wrong with that?
No, I don't. There was a chair.
Did you also do that? No, there weren't chairs.
(31:26):
It's very turn the chair around and sit in it backwards to be
relatable. I just, you know, at some point
on the podcast or off, frankly, it would be nice if you'd share
something about me you'd like. Honey I.
I'm just saying. I'm just saying.
Also no one. What?
(31:50):
Yes. No one listens to a podcast of
people complimenting each other.Picture it.
Picture it now. Normally there's more of like a
repartee, if you will, of sometimes they agree, sometimes
they don't agree. We do agree on the law.
A lot of stuff. Listen.
Back on this, we do not. I don't think I was trying to be
(32:11):
cool. I was just sitting down.
Not everything has an agenda. You don't typically just sit on
desk. All I'm saying is they've called
on me multiple times so it must not be that bad.
How? No, it's not bad.
I think it was it was the exact desired effect.
(32:32):
You seemed cool and approachable.
I'm just giggling and kicking myfeet because I've never once you
seen you sit on a countertop andor a desk.
No, let me clarify for you. You've never seen me sit in a
college classroom. Correct?
We didn't go to school together.Good Lord.
(32:55):
Anyway, I do think you'd be a good teacher.
Thanks. If you ever want to do that
someday. I actually, I I still think I
might. I might do it.
I don't think I can. But never as a full time job,
but like as a hobby side. One class every year type of
thing. Don't they do background checks
like this would come up in the? Oh, we would fail.
All of the Judge Judy moments where I'm talking about children
(33:18):
shoving something up there, waitwould come up.
I had the thought for a second this week.
One second. OK, what if one day I ran for
office? OK, I had the thought.
I had the thought. I was thinking like, what if I
should be the change I want to see, You know, what if I should?
(33:40):
What if I should do this? Should I look into this?
I'm somewhat into politics. I have I have an interest in it.
Not like in in. I'm not like these guys you see
on TikTok. Same as you thinking you could
land a plane. I don't think literal you.
Know very different. Very different.
Because I don't think I could land a plane.
I know I could land a plane. OK, I don't think I know I could
(34:00):
land a plane. This is the same audacity, you
know, like I sort of like I didn't say I didn't say I should
run for all. The way different, way
different. I didn't say I like politics.
I will be president someday. Different.
That's very different, I said. I thought about what if I ran
for office someday. That's all.
(34:21):
That's the thought. First thing that popped in my
head, the podcast they would askabout what my wife said on the
podcast Scandal all over TMZ. Wait, you're saying that I would
ruin? I would be your downfall, your
political downfall. Absolutely yes.
Without a doubt. Are you kidding me?
(34:43):
Nothing you've said. No, I am squeaky clean.
OK. You would be my political
downfall. Yes, absolutely you would.
I'm comfortable with that, but Ialso think you're so insane.
They would, I would be at a debate and they would go
Cameron, because that's what they call everybody by the first
names and debates. They don't say Senator whatever
(35:05):
they say Cameron. Is it true that back in 2018
your wife told XY and Z to shovesome something up her ass?
Yeah, said technically, that is.True Monday following that,
yeah. Is it true that back in 2020, in
the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, you and your wife said
(35:26):
on a podcast it's just a cold? Take that cruise you pussy.
And I'd have to say yes, I'd have to be honest, I would never
make it. But then again, the current
person at the highest office in the world, not exactly a quality
human being. So like, maybe I have exactly
(35:47):
what it takes. I don't know.
Anything is possible. Background check.
No, we're not passing. We're not passing that.
So funny. What's funny that you you think
that I you think it's funny thatI think that I could maybe do
something. OK, I get it.
That's that's really hilarious. No, I think it's funny that you.
(36:12):
I just think it's, Yeah, I thinkit's funny that you even thought
about running for office. I didn't think about.
I didn't. I thought about what I could do
for other people. I didn't think about myself.
I'm being selfless, selfless, self selfless.
So I had the my, I my. Experience Can I play the voice
(36:35):
note from my scene or is it not funny enough?
Sure. No, go ahead and play it.
While you look that up, I'm going to look up everything that
you've failed at in the past. Have you seen Father?
Hold it into the microphone. He's down there in the garden.
Does he know you're here? A little bit more?
(36:55):
Don't think so. It's not loud enough.
Turn it up. Isn't it up?
Oh. There you go, Put that on
speaker. Have you seen Father?
Yes, he's down there in the garden.
Does he know you're here? Don't think so.
Don't think so. Wow, that's offensive.
(37:18):
That's going to come up in the background check.
Every single time I listen to itto memorize the scene.
So you're supposed to read it like a robot when you're
memorizing? The scene, because normally I
would be embarrassed at that performance.
I am a much more accomplished actor than that.
Sure you're supposed to read it by rote, which means basically
(37:40):
robotic and so to memorize it soI had you read a voice note
basically of the whole scene with me, but the and I didn't
want to redo it because we had already been up forever and it
was like midnight by the time wewere recording that and then
whenever you were like don't sayso I was like it's fine keep
(38:03):
going I'm. Going to be honest with you,
I've had a lot of experiences inmy life.
I've been nervous about a lot ofthings.
I think heights of my nervousness when I sub hosted a
morning radio show in Los Angeles and 30 other cities.
I was a little nervous. I was more nervous recording
(38:28):
this voice note. Why?
Why this? Scene for you.
Why then? Maybe anything I've ever done.
What? Yes.
I'm so shocked. What do you mean?
Why? Because it's 6 pages long of
gobbledygook and I'm like if I fuck it up 3 pages in then.
We have to start over. We have to start over.
(38:49):
Whatever. No, that is so much pressure.
You were more nervous to record this bullshit.
Yes. What?
You're shitting me. No, I I am not shitting you,
honey. I don't think.
I don't think. I don't think so.
I don't think so. I just kept barreling through.
(39:09):
I wasn't going to start. By the way, can we get rid of
this nice quiet chair? Yeah, we're going to do a garage
sale. So if you're a podcast listener
and you live in the area we're getting rid of, I mean some
good. Shit, it's a lot of quality
stuff. Have you ever done a garage
sale? When I was like a child.
(39:31):
OK, I'm a little nervous about the garage sale too.
Why? Because I know exactly how it's
going to go. No, we're going to put something
out on a table. We're going to price it at $10.
Some guy's going to walk up and they're going to say, can you
take 3 for this? And you're going to tell him to
go fuck himself. You got you got to let me handle
the negotiations. You think I'm going to be
(39:51):
prideful? Absolute What Have you met you?
Are you going to be prideful? Well, I think what we have to
keep in mind is that at the end of the day, if stuff isn't gone,
then we have to deal with it. Right.
So I have to just keep that at the forefront of my brain that
(40:11):
basically what anything, anything better than free is a
good deal. Time is money.
They can just have it. Yeah, but you have to.
So. OK, so if we put a $10 sticker
on a lamp and someone comes up and says.
Three, let's do it right now. I'll be us.
You be the buyer. Garage sale.
That's a good day. Huh.
(40:31):
Oh hi I see this lamp is 10 but can you do 3?
I can do 7. I'll give you 5.
Call it 6 and we'll we'll make it a deal.
See, you would go back another time.
Yeah, honey, it's a dollar. Wouldn't you just take 5 though?
(40:54):
No, I'd take 6. So if it's listed for. 10 Let's
do it again. Let's let's raise the stakes a
bit. We're selling a We have a Miss
Pac-Man machine in the other room.
That's not a good. Example, we're not going to sell
that. We might.
No, I'm kind of. I'm kind of dancing around it in
(41:15):
my head. A little bit takes up a lot of
space. OK, we don't have to, but let's
just pretend we're going to sellit.
OK, what would you even list it for?
I'd list it out there for 100 bucks.
OK. Because yes, they are 300 new or
whatever, but you can they're all over Facebook for like 100
bucks. Here we go.
(41:35):
OK. Hi.
I see that you have this. Whoa.
Can you stop grabbing my ass? OK, go ahead.
This Miss Pacman machine, can you do 50?
No, I can't really do 50. Yeah, these just they run around
300 new. I could probably do.
Let's see, what is it at. My wife put a sticker on these.
(41:57):
It's at 100. I think I could do.
I can come down to 90 on it. Oh, I think the best I could do.
I think the best I could do willbe 70.
I can do 85, but that's really about all I can do.
See, you lost me. I don't think I'm going to pay
85, honey. You only gave me 15 off ma'am.
(42:18):
Ma'am, ma'am, ma'am. You only gave.
Me, ma'am, You're not going to haggle me on my own property?
So then what? You lose the sale.
You just counteracted the point you made the first example you
said I came down too low. No, I said I I also no the first
example I was saying why wouldn't you take 5 and you said
(42:40):
no I need 6. Oh, I see.
This was the same thing because I got money.
Here's how you see how serious they are.
If they start walking away, thenyou go.
You know what? Yeah.
I'll do 80 on it Works every time.
It's called The Art of a Deal. The Art of the Deal.
Maybe I should write a book? I think someone's already
(43:01):
written that book. Damn.
OK, I am kind of excited. I told talked to my parents on
the phone a couple days ago and felt like they were asking for
updates on stuff and I told themwe might do a garage sale and I
said that I would try to record you and they suggested I set up
the Ring doorbell. Honey.
(43:22):
Near proximity of the garage sale so we can get some good.
And I thought, I'm like, that's probably one of their better
ideas. It's a really quality idea.
That's so. Are you serious?
This is how little faith you have in me.
It's not. No.
This is the utmost faith in the fact that you will cause a scene
at the garage sale. Absolutely you will.
(43:43):
And I can't wait. It's going to be exhilarating.
So you think we're not getting out of the day without me
telling someone to fuck off? I don't think you'll say fuck
off. But you think I'll grab
something out of someone's handsand put it back in the garage?
Yeah, so you will be offended bysomething for sure.
You think you think I will deny a sale to someone out of pure
(44:07):
spite? No, I don't think that I know
that. I know that's exactly what's
going to happen. I'm worried about selling the
house. Because at some point, OK,
actually I'm talking myself intothis.
Because at some point not selling it to someone tastes
sweeter than them getting it for$4.
(44:28):
And I don't disagree with you onthat.
It really depends on the. Because I would rather light it
on fire. Like I, you know what I mean?
I would, I think it really depends on the person though.
If somebody walks up and let's say it's a little old lady,
right? She comes with her granddaughter
and they're walking around. She's like.
Wow, this is a corridor. They see, yeah, they see a vase
they like, and it's $5 and they're like, oh, we can do 3.
(44:51):
And we're like, no, we got to do5 and one.
Oh, that's OK Well, you guys have a sweet day.
Oh, really? Hope the sale goes well.
And they're like, no, God, that fucking sweet old lady.
Yeah, you can take it for three.But if somebody's going to be an
asshole. Yeah.
No way. Yeah, if you're an asshole and
get me over asking, I'm going totell you to fuck yourself, you
(45:11):
know? No one ever once had a garage
sale gave over asking. You know what I mean.
The point remains. Sure anyway.
Garage sale. Gary Vee.
Come through it, it's not going to be scary at all.
I promise to be nice. Are you prepared to, Judith?
(45:32):
Sure do. You get it.
Listen to me very carefully. I know everything.
You're a moron social lover. You are an example of why people
should have to take tests beforethey're allowed to have
children. Do you get it?
I we all know. We all know that I'm a sucker
(45:55):
for a birthday plan. OK, we all know it.
I will move heaven and earth forsomeone's birthday slash.
Whatever if a friend needs it. Amen.
However, you know, I throw out aton of ideas.
I do the what I can my I have anacquaintance slash friend that
slash networking what. A lot of slashes.
(46:20):
Whatever, I'm trying to, like, define her in my life.
But anyways, she's an acquaintance slash friend slash
colleague. Yeah, in the industry.
Very nice person. Very nice person.
And I celebrate her birthday usually every year.
And this year she texted me and was talking about her birthday
(46:43):
plan the day before. And I was like, wait, I was
never invited to this. Yeah.
And also we were dealing with a family emergency.
So even though she texted me theday before, I couldn't just
change everything and go, right?She was texting me like, Oh
yeah, so for tomorrow, I'll see you at blah, blah blah.
And I was like, see me at blah blah blah.
(47:03):
I'm going to be blah blah blah I.
Was never invited to blah, blah,blah.
And then I was like, well, even though I wasn't invited in the
1st place, she thought she had invited me.
Sure. I can't make it because we're
dealing with a family emergency all weekend.
Yeah. So I said I'll make it up to you
next week. I'll take you to dinner or
whatever. And she was like, I miss cooking
(47:26):
for people. I'd rather just hang out at my
house and like, let's cook together.
And I was like, great. So then a couple days later I
followed up and was like great, how about Thursday night?
She was like great Thursday night.
And I said, do you still want meto come over or do you want to
go out? Then she said, I want to go out.
I'm like, OK, so we're not cooking together at your place.
(47:46):
Got it. Noted.
So then I sent her four restaurant options, all mid
level places, you know, $2.00 signs on Yelp, not 4, not 1-2
dollar signs. OK, mid level places I know she
likes because she's been there once before.
(48:07):
Sure. Or we've been there once before.
But quality places to take her out.
Yeah, and places I know they do a cute birthday dessert or have
a cute patio or have a cute ambiance.
I'm not taking you to Chili's for your birthday.
Whatever. I'm taking you to a place I know
is good. I sent her four options and she
(48:29):
sent me back somewhere she wouldprefer instead and it was $3
signs. Now I sent her a sushi option
being Sugar Fish. And if you're in LA or you know
(48:50):
what, Sugar Fish is a nice restaurant.
Delightful. A well priced restaurant, not
cheap, but well priced. But appropriately.
Priced very fair and you don't tip there because tip is
included. So I sent her that option.
She goes, oh, you made me think of my favorite sushi place.
(49:11):
And she sent me the link and it's like double the price of
sugar fish double. So I sent her a lovely sushi
option and she sent me back whatshe actually wanted, which was
like an insane version of sugar fish.
And I'm like, OK, this is such aweird position now, 'cause what
(49:33):
am I supposed to respond? I can't afford it or I don't
want to. What do you say to the birthday
person? Is that what it's an?
Awkward position to be in. What would our therapist say to
say back, 'cause she's out of town right now?
Looks really. Cool, I would love to treat you,
(49:55):
but that one's not quite in my price range.
So she would say to say a nice version of I can't afford.
It yeah, and I agree with her. It would be OK to say that.
And you understand why it's not within my being to say that?
I understand why you have a problem with it, but I think.
You would have said that I'm if you were in the exact same
(50:15):
situation, would you have said it?
No, no I wouldn't have because it wasn't.
It was pricier than the one you suggested, but not like it's not
the most expensive birthday dinner we've ever done, you know
what I mean? So in that sense it's like, OK,
but if it was like, oh, you go there and it's $80.00 for a
(50:36):
cheeseburger, OK, Fucking obviously we're not going to a
Michelin star place. This place was a little more
expensive than we would have liked, but not like we're going
to go broke because of. It this was like.
Is that fair? Sure.
This was like $80 a person. So would you have said 150 a
person is too much? A hundred a person is too much.
(50:59):
Like I would say for a special birthday occasion, I think that
that's not awful because that's including drinks, right?
Yeah, that's not the worst. It's a birthday.
Yeah, it's not. It's not the worst.
I know, but also not a best friend and acquaintance, right?
(51:21):
Gray area Gray. Area so I just think it's
interesting because sugar fish is like 50 bucks a person she
sent me back 7080 bucks a personinstead and it's like OK so the
place I was going to take you that I offered wasn't good
enough yeah it's like if she if I sent her pizza, Italian sushi
(51:47):
and Thai and she sent me back South African OK because I
didn't send you South Africa. But this is literally one of the
options you put of. Course, right then if, if it's
like I'm just really craving South African food, but you sent
me these four options and I justdon't really.
I'm not craving that. It's different her a sushi
(52:10):
option that's classy and nice and literally 2 minutes away
from this place. So it's in the same area of
town. It's 2 minutes down the road.
She sent me back a sushi place that's just two minutes away and
more expensive. Here's the real issue here.
(52:31):
If if if we're friends and I want to take you out for your
birthday, you got to let me pickif you have an idea for your
birthday dinner, you want to suggest do that to begin with,
right? That's the actual problem if
you're going to. Suggest it.
Suggest it first, don't reject all four of my options and then
suggest something. Else don't let me put options
(52:51):
out there. And then you ignore them and we
go to the place you wanted to anyway and then I still pay.
That's weird. What makes it worse is this
place sucked ass. The sushi was large and warm.
We sat indoors but it felt outdoors because there was gnats
(53:11):
crawling in my soy sauce. It wasn't that classy feeling at
all, and I just did not enjoy it.
I wish I enjoyed it. I wish that I didn't feel like
it was weird to me. It was fucking weird.
So if someone's trying to do something nice for you on your
(53:32):
birthday and you shove it back in their face, don't do that.
Just shove it up your ass instead.
Judgement to the plaintiff Do. You get it.
I love it. Have you been seeing all the
people on TikTok? Or Judge Judy videos.
Doing lip syncing to Judge Judy.Yeah, including Jesse McCartney.
(53:53):
I have, I've seen the Judge Judylip syncing and then also the
baby ones. I both I think are funny
honestly. I think Jesse McCartney's at the
top of my list. There's one other guy.
He's. So good.
I forget this guy's name. He pops up in my feet a lot.
He's so good at it, too. They're just.
It's just the best and I really want to do it.
(54:15):
I'm just memorizing so much stuff recently but I really want
to do it. It's super fun, but I feel like
people are just now starting to really discover Judge Judy,
which isn't true, but like youngpeople are starting to discover.
Her don't you have like a semi Jude?
I listen. I've tried to Jude before and I
(54:38):
feel like it just doesn't work. Fine, but the gentle barn or the
Lowe's? Oh yeah, that's OK.
I'll save. I'll save Gentle Barn for next
time. I will, because I, I, I feel
like it's part of a larger conversation.
You know what I'm saying? Fine, stay tuned on the edge of
(54:58):
your seat for some hot fire the tease gentle barn updates.
That's how they do it on Love Island tomorrow night.
Next Monday coming up, stay tuned for some controversial
volunteer drama. Have a good week everyone.
Thanks for putting up with us. We're a little bit all over the
(55:20):
place and honestly, I like it. Therapeutic, sure, it's good
stuff. What's wrong?
Nothing. You.
Oh. What happened?
You don't like me again? No.
Tell me what's going on. Nothing, I'm just tired.
(55:42):
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