Ready for bed

Why won't my child go to bed ? What if she wakes in the night ? And what about nightmares ? Katy Gosset explores the battleground known as bedtime.

Why won't my child go to bed ? What if she wakes in the night ? And what about nightmares ? For many parents bedtime is a battle ground. In Episode Ten of Are We There Yet ? Katy Gosset looks at the struggle to sleep.

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We've all been there.

Whether it's sitting for ages in a child's bedroom, murmuring soothing words ...

Offering "just one more story"...

Or listening, anguished, to crying from another room, whilst bargaining with our partner or spouse: "No, you go this time," "It's your turn."

And our children can be at their most resourceful when it comes to subverting the night time ritual.

"They try lots of tricks, like more stories or even tidying to try and prevent going to bed" - Father of three, stepfather of three more.

For babies and young children habits form and it can be up to parents to break them.

"With the twins, they reached nine months and they still weren't sleeping through the night and I was so tired" - Mother of six

And for this mother, allowing them to cry while her husband continued to check on them soon brought results.

"After three days they were sleeping all night long. I kicked myself for not doing it sooner. Nine months of waking up all the time is just insane."

As children age, their bedtime varies but when they get cranky, an early bedtime is often a good idea.

"The earlier the better, it just goes downhill the later it gets and the grumpier they get or the more amped they are" - Father of three, stepfather of three more.

And parents have to accept that children are individuals and will have different needs

"I like to sleep a lot and I know two of my children are the same as me. Whereas other ones in the family, when they get tired, they run around like lunatics and they get really hyper" - Mother of six

Learning to Settle

Clinical Psychologist and mother of two Catherine Gallagher knows first-hand what it's like when a child won't sleep.

"It wasn't 'til I was a parent of a new born with reflux that I realised why sleep deprivation was a torture strategy."

And it's torturous because, young or old, we all need sleep.

"Sleep is vital for brain development and physical health. So we need our babies to sleep for both their health and our sanity."…

Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details