April 15, 2025 • 52 mins
Stefani Seek - Is a best-selling international author, speaker, and certified private love and life coach. She Helps You to Attract the Love You Deserve, Heal a Broken Heart & Restore Your Mojo.
RonnieLo Habit Coach (Ronnie Loaiza) is a Certified Habit Coach, Master Certified Professional Life Coach, and Certified Personal Trainer dedicated to helping people realize their desires and goals.
Movie Reviews and More is broadcast live Tuesdays at 5PM PT on K4HD Radio - Hollywood Talk Radio (www.k4hd.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Movie Reviews and More TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
Movie Reviews and More Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.
RonnieLo Habit Coach (Ronnie Loaiza) is a Certified Habit Coach, Master Certified Professional Life Coach, and Certified Personal Trainer dedicated to helping people realize their desires and goals.
Movie Reviews and More is broadcast live Tuesdays at 5PM PT on K4HD Radio - Hollywood Talk Radio (www.k4hd.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Movie Reviews and More TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
Movie Reviews and More Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
This program is designed to provide general information with regards
to the subject matters covered. This information is given with
the understanding that neither the hosts, guests, sponsors, or station
are engaged in rendering any specific and personal medical, financial, legal, counseling,
professional service, or any advice.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
You should seek the services.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Of competent professionals before applying or trying any suggested ideas.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Hey, there it's Brian Sebastian, movie reviews and more. And
if it's Tuesday, that means, first of all, it's giving Tuesday.
You got to give you a favorite charity, no matter
what it may be. Ours is Dreamy Ver Arts, Screaming
of Artists, Ranch, Carol Register will talk about hers. I'm
sure Stephanie has one. I'm sure Ronnie has one. So
when it comes to this, we're live on Talk for TV,
Talk for Media, K for HD radio and streaming out
(01:29):
over one hundred outlets around the world right now. So
I'm not going to do an introduction tonight because i
know exactly what's gonna happen tonight. I'm going with it.
Anytime we can have Howard, our friend Howard, one of
the littlest leading thirty five URI designers in our Collector
and the Dapperman that he is from Nashville, Tennessee. He
may be going in and out, so I'm aware that
(01:49):
what's happening now. See he's shaken because there's a secret
about him that we can't tell you about his Internet.
But it's it's funny and why we have them. How
if we have you, let me introduce you now, just
in case we lose you later. Tell everybody who you are.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
I'm Howard Wiggins, like you said, one of the top
thirty five leading interared designers in the world. I'm listed
in Andrew Martin volume three three. I don't know what's
wrong with my voice tonight, but anyway, actor, dancer, model,
of course, co hosts of movies, reviews and more. You
can follow me on Facebook and see me from there
(02:28):
a go for it.
Speaker 5 (02:30):
I'm Carol Register.
Speaker 6 (02:32):
I take women from six figures to seven plus figures guaranteed,
and I'm a neurocoach. I do it by the Neuroalwealth method.
I also co host not only this show with Brian
and Howard and Rachel and Terry and all of the
wonderful people, all of Natasha, all of the wonderful co
(02:54):
hosts on here, but I also co host the Unleash
and Stoppable podcast. We're in our third season, over one
hundred and fifty episodes, top rated. We talk about all
things neuroscience, the neuroscience of leadership.
Speaker 7 (03:11):
Health and wealth.
Speaker 5 (03:13):
And I love it, absolutely love it.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
See and I love that because you know, I think
almost every day except for today, I always called Peril
to see how she's doing. You know, Rachel Terry. It
is like the three of us who talk occasionally. Howard
will call me, and occasionally I'll call him because I
already know he's doing well. He's usually dancing with somebody
out there. That's why don't have to call him every
day like I have to do with everybody else. And
then we have Stephanie. So anybody who could send me
(03:38):
an apple pie is okay in my book. She literally
sent me one and it was very good. It's in
the top three. I had one cent from Australia, I
had one cent from Boston and hers is in the
top three. So Stephanie, tell everybody who you are, where
you're coming from in Missouri, and about relationship because this
is interesting to follow by Ronnie.
Speaker 8 (03:57):
Yes, hi, everyone, thanks for having me on Ryan. I'm
Stephanie Seek. I'm in Saint Louis, Missouri, quite the flyover state,
but we have some cool things in Saint Louis, like
toasted gravioli. You know, Emo's pizza, flat flat cracker pizza.
Speaker 9 (04:12):
I am a love coach.
Speaker 8 (04:15):
I am an ex corporate sales executive earned love and
relationship coach because in all those years of sales and
working with sales teams and leading them, it all came
down to relationships and how we communicate. I've based some adversity.
By the age of forty four, I had been married
and divorced twice. I say that with no shame, and
(04:37):
I help women overcome the shame or disappointment of divorce
or the disappointment that they still haven't met the love
of their life. Surprisingly, I have more and more men
coming to meet as well for help. So you know,
we all deep down crave someone who gets us, for us,
who loves us, for who we are, our authentic self,
(04:58):
the I am of ourselves, no matter what we do
for a living or for the characteristics we bring to
the table. And people just sometimes need help unwinding all
of that past. Pay those past habits to move into
a fully satisfying relationship. And it's never too late. It's
never too late for new love. I finally met the
(05:21):
love of my life. We've now been together happily for
four years. It can be done. It can be done everyone.
So I just released my new book. It came out
in February. Carol and I were at one of the
events at Emmy's related event where I was able to
gift it to celebrities and media. It's called Your Love Compass,
(05:44):
a Woman's Unconventional Guide to Dating and Relationships. And we
talk all things love and dating, the juicy stuff, the
hard stuff, the mindset stuff.
Speaker 9 (05:53):
And I love the work that I do.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
I see, I love that. See when she said she
was in a good relationship, but I thought she was
talking about me. After all, he did send me an
apple pie, black guy, an apple pie from Lost Jengles
who happened to be in Georgia. Nobody where you go.
So this other young lady, Ronnie is fascinating to me.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
I love her.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
I didn't know I was always listening to her husband
all the time too. So Ronnie, tell everybody where you're
coming from. Because we met with Michael Whitehouse, who Carol
knows almost every Friday when we can pop on, I
might see Ronnie, I might see ron Wyatt, I might
see uh, you know, Michael and a few other people.
And I like it because it's really intimate and I
like that setting and I like that group. And that's
(06:35):
where I met Ronnie. All right, Ronnie, we were talking
about you being on at least three months ago, and
here it is. And I always tell people time flies fast.
Let me schedule because we're going September on our bookings
right now, and if I don't put you in, someone
else calls me right away and it's gone. So Ronnie,
it seemed like there was a long time ago and
it was, but here it is tonight. So sorry.
Speaker 7 (06:55):
Lets next day. We were talking in the holidays. So
I just I feel like so much of everything that
I just heard from Howard and Carol and you, Stephan
just resonates, like, Wow, you just touch about so many
things in my life. I met my husband, Rob Archer,
who's a news anchor here in Los Angeles. That's where
I am. I'm in Lalla Land, and we met at work,
(07:16):
but he was in another marriage and so was I
at the time. Stephanie, And you're right, I'm in my
late fifties and it's not only never too late, it's
great when you start really growing up. And it's true
you just really want somebody to love you for who
you are. But anyway, we could go all of that,
but we met ten years ago. We didn't. We started
(07:37):
dating ten years ago and we've been married for seven years.
And Carol Caroll's my middle name, by the way. Yeah,
when you're talking about neuroscience and all of that, I'm like, yes, yes,
that's my jam. I'm a habit coach. I'm a certified
habit coach. I used to be a journalist. I was
(07:58):
a reporter anchor in San Diego and here in Los Angeles.
That's a long story of how I evolved into becoming
a master certified professional coach and now I'm a certified
habit coach. But when I became, because of health reasons,
a personal trainer in twenty eleven, I really set out
to be the biggest advocate for women at the time,
but women and men to be as fit as that
(08:18):
person could be. And ninety nine percent of my work
and I became a personal trainer because of my own
health questions, and I became my own self health advocate.
And the corrective exercise specialist who I was assigned to
by my doctor was like, you U need to become
a personal trainer. I'm like, I'm in my mid forties.
Who does that. She's like your own walking billboard. You've healed.
(08:40):
I mean within working within two weeks of working with
a corrective exercise specialist. I used to be like an
aerobic screen.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
Remember that.
Speaker 7 (08:46):
Now it's called cardio. I started right. I started strength
training and really advocated for myself because two Evly Hills
doctors wanted to fuse my spine. I never got the surgery.
I became a personal trainer because I was so into it,
and I asked so many questions, like you need to
become a personal trainer because people can relate to you.
(09:06):
And now I'm almost sixty years old, and at the time,
ninety nine percent of my work was mindset. Like Stephanie said,
you know, it's all mindset work. And even back then,
I realized with my clients at the time, it was
working with their habits and their habitual way of thinking.
Long story short, gonna wind it up is when COVID happened.
(09:28):
Everything closed here. We couldn't go to private studios, we
couldn't go to their homes. Went on, zoom started, you know,
training people, and people were asking me, you know, so
and so doesn't want to isn't really taking care of herself?
So and so is it working out like I thought?
I really bought a peloton. So I was like, well,
do you want to talk about So I started talking
to people and we really found out it wasn't because
(09:49):
they were too busy they didn't have time. It was
anxious times. It was other things or mindset. So I
helped them figure out how they could work out when
they could work out how they could fit fitness in
their lives. And people would tell me, you should become
a coach. Fast forward, I started looking at it because
at the time, I was like, the heck's a life coach,
you know? And I looked into it, got serious, got certified,
(10:11):
went up and levels, and I had been helping men
and women in different areas of their life, from career
to their health to their wellness, and they all aspects
are subset of the other. And at the time I
started seeing that I was always inserting their habits little things,
little tiny actions, don't take big big chunks of things
you want to do to get to your goals. One
(10:31):
tiny action and it becomes a habit. It becomes your identity.
It's part of who you are. And then the more
I kept reading, the more research I kept doing, I
realized there is such a thing the certified habit coaches.
So I went to school, got certified, and that's how
I became a habit coach.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
See that's all great, That's why I like women. So
you know, Howard, I'm going to go to you because
Howard is about being happy. He's walked a lot, he
had tell that story, and he likes to dance a lot.
And it's always about that. And I love the relationship
that he has with his wife. Bill McCarty. Welcome to
movie revis and more. I want to Ronnie skid Hey,
so Rebel, you had a question, go ahead.
Speaker 10 (11:08):
Yeah, I'm sorry, I think I misheard Ronnie. Did you
say you were how old?
Speaker 7 (11:13):
Well right now, I'm fifty nine and a half. Remember
when we were.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
A little old.
Speaker 10 (11:16):
Way, I gotta let me see that gorgeous as freako lutely,
you don't look that age at all.
Speaker 7 (11:27):
I'm going to take that good good instead of well.
And I love you, thank you for saying that, because
I'm in better health now than I was. I think
in my thirties. I really do. I really do take
care of myself. But that's just it. My mission as
a trainer was to help somebody be as fit as
that particular person could be. As fit as you can be,
(11:48):
no cookie cutters. You can go online and just you know,
follow a YouTube or here's a workout, count reps. It's
howth fit can you be? And that's when I started
really advocating for people to speak up to their doctors,
especially women and men. Don't go to the doctors. Would
you guys, please go to the doctors with something hurt?
But two men just kind of really executive women, actresses, producers, directors,
(12:09):
you know C suite, really high powered, intelligent women. They'll
go to the doctors and it's my lab coat syndrome.
They just you know, they would come back to me, well,
my doctor told me this time we that, well, did
you ask why, no, why do you have to take
that medicine? I don't know, you didn't ask no. It's like,
just believe our doctors. And I love doctors. My dad
was a doctor, but we have to ask why and
(12:30):
advocate to know why and advocate for our health. It's
not always just hormones. So you need more rest or
eat better, you know. So that's what I learn, and
I advocate, and I really want people to ask more
questions and dig deep and get second and third opinions.
Anyway I could do.
Speaker 10 (12:47):
That is so true. I definitely advise everyone to ask
your doctor if he believes in the standard of care,
and if they do, walk out and find you a
new doctor. And that doesn't I tell people, you couldn't
drive me if you've tried, okay, standard of care. Nobody,
hardly ever knows how to drive a standard these days.
There is no such thing.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
Yeah, that's that's that's a good point at that. Yeah,
we talk about this. Oh sorry, Ronnie gad.
Speaker 6 (13:15):
Well, I was I was going to say to Ronnie,
you know, the quality of your life is dependent on
the quality of your questions. So advocating for women to
use their voice speak up for themselves is monumental. It's
a huge part of the work I do and so
important because you know, the lat the white coat syndrome
(13:37):
is a thing.
Speaker 5 (13:38):
It really is a thing.
Speaker 6 (13:39):
And being able to, you know, find out the information
that you need seek a second opinion has been critical
in my own health care.
Speaker 5 (13:52):
And I think it's such a beautiful point. So I
appreciate you bringing that up.
Speaker 8 (13:56):
Yeah, and Carol, I can actually segue off of that,
because women, especially women who have been who have more
tendency to be a people pleaser. Yeah, they don't ask
the questions. And so if we're talking about doctors, or
if we're talking being on a date, often women want
to please, They want to have a pleasing conversation. They
(14:18):
want to be pleasant, and sometimes we're just too darn
pleasant and we need to lean in and say, tell
me more about that.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
You know.
Speaker 8 (14:28):
Curiosity is one of the tools I use when I'm
coaching women, dating and men, because sometimes someone will say
something and you might have a little yellow flag go
up or red flag or just think, I wonder why
they said that.
Speaker 9 (14:42):
But instead we stay quiet and we.
Speaker 8 (14:44):
Gloss over, or we immediately go into our story instead
of pausing and being intentional and saying, I would like
to understand more.
Speaker 9 (14:53):
You know, why did you say that. We can do
that with doctors, we can do.
Speaker 8 (14:56):
That with all kinds of service professionals, anyone we're buying
service it's from, but also in dating. So Brian, I
know you had something to ask, but I had to
had to weave that in there.
Speaker 3 (15:06):
No, that's perfect. That's what it's always about, you know,
the more part of stuff. Sevany, you were just speaking
at an event. Talk about that.
Speaker 8 (15:14):
I was the event that I just spoke at. Yeah,
so I've actually been speaking at quite a few events
and quite a few podcasts. The event I just spoke
at it was on International Women's Day, the Heart of
Missouri Women's Show, and we were talking about.
Speaker 9 (15:31):
Using your voice, using your.
Speaker 8 (15:35):
How you speak to yourself and Ronnie, this goes into
your work, Carol, this goes into your work. The language
we speak to ourselves inside of our own heads, that's
where our relationship starts. It's very difficult to show up
as your authentic self if you are unclear about who
you are inside of your own head. You know, when
(15:55):
you pause to observe, we always have an inside talker.
Being a shower, you're driving the car, there's this voice
inside of your head, and sometimes we're not consciously aware
of what's happening. And you know, research shows that up
to seventy We have about seventy thousand thoughts a day,
if you can believe that, and around eighty percent of
(16:16):
them can be negative, and they're usually directed at ourselves.
So what I spoke about brain at the events, just
to take three to notice, do an audit. What am
I saying inside of my own head about myself? That
could be in the context of your body. Like Ronnie right,
like women will say I'm fat, or I'm never going
(16:37):
to lose weight, or I feel tired all the time. Well,
if you say you feel tired all the time, guess what,
You're going to be tired all the time. Your brain
is going to believe that, your subconscious will believe it,
and you will manifest that to be true.
Speaker 9 (16:51):
And so in dating and relationships.
Speaker 8 (16:54):
It's amazing how many women are out there, especially in
our forties, fifties, sixties, who say there are no men
or vice versa, no good women. They all want someone younger, richer, prettier,
whatever that might be. If you buy into that self talk,
it will manifest in your reality. So just pick three things,
three things, notice three negative things you say a day,
(17:17):
and flip it, limp it to something kinder. More gentle
and give yourself some grace. So I do love talking
to especially women about that, Brian, but I think everyone
needs to hear that message.
Speaker 7 (17:27):
And on top of that, Stephanie, I find a lot
of people, especially women because I work with women, but
men as well. It's not so much the positive Pollyanna
kick your heroes three times and make these affirmation that
you don't believe. It really is about I call it
thought work. It's like your reaction or your behavior, or
you're in action, just action, especially like when you're on
(17:49):
a date or you're starting to date again, or your
health or your career, whatever it is. Whatever your behavior is,
we're in the habit of being a certain way with
certain people. I know I was different when I was
on a date than I am with a friend, you know.
Or I'm different with my husband as I am with
somebody i'm coaching. So we're in the habit of being
and expressing ourselves differently depending on who we're with, our
(18:09):
boss or our team or whatever. But also whatever you're
acting or you're reacting, if you don't like how you're
acting or reacting, look at the emotion. Do I feel joy?
Am I at peace? Am I content? Am I angry?
Is it fear? Is a doubt? Is it despair? What
is it? Okay? And whatever emotion we have at that moment,
there's a thought behind it, whether we realize it or not,
(18:31):
even if it's a lightning fast thought. And then coming
back to a Stephanie said, rather than just give yourself
I'm a million dollar maker, goddess or something. And if
you doubt it, if there's one brain of stand of doubt,
like no, you're not, then your brain, our liz or
brain looks to prove that negativity. But instead give yourself
(18:52):
a real, truthful fact. Say it out loud that you
will believe, you do believe because it's a fact about you,
and it's more positive. So I help people in that
way to give yourself what's the truth? Is that the truth?
Speaker 6 (19:06):
Well?
Speaker 7 (19:06):
Is that the truth? And then when you say it
out loud, do you confirm it?
Speaker 3 (19:10):
Not just affirm.
Speaker 7 (19:11):
I believe in confirmation of a truth rather than affirmation,
because then your brain and go, yep, noted, it'll hear it, yep, noted,
you're right, uh, and it believes it. To start confirming
your strength, start start confirming your values. What do you value?
What do you consider valuable? You start confirming why you
are capable of something. You're proving capabilities and then remind
(19:34):
yourself of those because your brain will go true and
all your wins. Celebrate them, even the tiniest little win,
like I finally got on this camera whenever it wasn't working.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Yeah, you win.
Speaker 7 (19:43):
I made it happen. But because then your brain will
go yeah, you're right capable. I do that a lot
with eating habits, by the way, in fitness habits, it's
like if one tiny little action, celebrate it, and then
your brain will go capable, noted true.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:56):
And as these two women are talking about that, he
empowered because Howard's always happy when he dances. Women are
attracted to him. He's happily married. Would know it, but
you know, because he just goes and does his yead.
You know he's got this thing. I like who I am,
and I worked hard to be who I am. Howard,
(20:16):
I'm putting words in your mouth. Stop me, Howard to talk.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
Well, I've changed my life three times. I used to
be shot. I got over being shot. I used to
be fat. I got over being fat.
Speaker 4 (20:29):
I think recognize what you don't like about yourself and
change it. When I turned sixty, I walked fifty five
and a half miles and one day, Wow, and I did.
I did, And I could have done more, but my
phone kept running in and I had to keep charging
my phone.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
I could outlast my phone.
Speaker 4 (20:48):
But if I'm determined to do something, I'm determined to
do it, and I just do it. And I think
I could even do that today at seventy almost seventy two.
I bet I could do it again if I'm wanted to.
But I just got to take the time to do it.
But I just think I can do anything I want
to do. It's just like the only person stopping you
(21:09):
is you. Yeah, nobody else is stopping you. Nobody's paying
attention to you, but you're paying attention to you, and uh,
and I feel like it's a I've been in retail
sales all my life, and retail sales, the more you
make a person excited and enjoy it and explain the
(21:29):
process of why they should do it, it's easy. I
mean every day when I make sales, I get hugs
or thank you at work. They want me to write
thank you notes. I said, I'm not doing it if
I'm doing my job. Right, They're gonna they're gonna thank me.
I'm not going to thank them. I'm the one that
helped them, you know, and they.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
Do, so I just refuse to write thank you notes.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
Hey, Howard, tell them what room you're in. Hey, I'm
in the living room.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
Room and I collect art. I collect and not a
living room. It is a living room.
Speaker 4 (22:08):
But that's another thing I'm gonna do. I think i'm
gonna I'm seventy two. I think I'm going to change
my life again. I'm gonna make some major decisions and
go with it. I don't know exactly where I'm going,
but I'm going to do it. So we'll go and
see what's going to happen.
Speaker 9 (22:26):
So that's amazing that.
Speaker 7 (22:30):
A man who loves to dance.
Speaker 6 (22:32):
Yeah, you know, you guys brought up a couple of oh,
go ahead, poward, you brought up a couple of really
good points.
Speaker 4 (22:39):
So I've always loved to dance. And like Brian says,
I'm happy, but you wouldn't know it. My wife, I've
my wife's let me be me.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
And she's her who she is, and then we are
who we are together. I love to dance.
Speaker 4 (22:52):
That's how I got my confidence in myself is dancing.
So I go out dancing with all these women all
the time, but always come home to her, and they
know that they're just my friends, so nothing ever becomes
of it.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
It's just they're my friends.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
Dollar Carton comes to his door. That's the one acceptable.
Speaker 4 (23:09):
That's a that's a different case, and she knows that.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
Hey, Stephanie, talk about this. You know, I hate the
date because the first date that I went on in California,
I had no idea. I didn't know about uh aa.
I didn't know about being a vegan. I you know,
I didn't know about a woman who didn't drink alcohol.
I had no idea coming from Connecticut, and I said,
what is this about? There was no rule book without
(23:36):
any of this stuff. So I'm like, this is terrible.
I had known this hard. I didn't know what to do.
So my thing is when I have, I thought, there's
a lot of women who out to because what we're
doing it's just but it's it's one of those things
where what Howard said and what Ronnie said, because you
know that journalist in you never leaves Ronnie. First of all,
(23:57):
you can say you're retired but you're not me. But
it's one of those things where you want that person
that you could you could go and travel with, that
you could just hang out with, you could just be with.
That's what I like. The less drama the better for
me because I don't have any of that stuff, you know.
That's why I can just pick up and go where
I want to go, and I like that. It's not
(24:19):
easy these days, especially with anxiety and a lot of
depression going on. You know.
Speaker 7 (24:22):
Yeah, well on top of that, i'd love Stephanie because
I know she's going to answer you, but I found
So what do you think of this, Stephanie. My husband
and I were friends for like two like bodies, and
we would talk about each other's dates, you know, before
we ever got together. But if he and I went
on a dating app, he and I never would have
been matched by the algorithms ever. But we're such close friends.
(24:46):
And all these guys that I matched, I realized they
were trying to conform to what I said that I
liked in my profile. And I realized that I was
deep down kind of trying to conform so that they
would like me, even though I said I want to
be myself I was really trying to conform to Oh,
I hope he likes me. So what do you think
of that? My husband I never would have been matched,
and yet we're the bestession.
Speaker 8 (25:08):
Oh I love that, And I think Ronnie, to your point,
and then to Brian's.
Speaker 9 (25:11):
Point, there's no one clear path.
Speaker 8 (25:16):
There's no you know, what would you call it like
a golden coin that says this, this is what you
have to do, because it's all in the reality that
you're creating. So, Ronnie, there was something about you and
your husband that there was just this energy between you
that brought you together as friends and it developed into romance.
(25:38):
I also know people myself included, that did meet someone
on a dating app and Facebook. I tell you what,
Facebook dating doesn't have any algorithms, in my opinion, they
just give you whatever's on there. So it's all about
the work that you're doing before you're dating or while
you're dating, to define, you know, how do I want
(26:00):
to feel in a relationship. It wasn't until I started
doing that and figuring that out and teaching other people
to do it. Because then, Brian, to your point, you're
talking about you end up talking about you know, are
you vegan.
Speaker 9 (26:12):
Do you drink wine? Do you not drink wine?
Speaker 8 (26:14):
And you want to go into dating with an intention
of here's how I want to feel.
Speaker 9 (26:19):
A lot of women, especially, will create a vision.
Speaker 8 (26:21):
Board and they'll put like, he drives this kind of car,
he has this kind of job, this is what he
does right, and Brian, I'm sure you've been like the.
Speaker 9 (26:30):
Recipient of that. And men do it too.
Speaker 8 (26:34):
Though men will be like m I only want someone
who's five foot eight, and it has to have blonde
hair and long legs, and we hold ourselves to these
physical standards. Where I have found that when people break
that cycle and they actually get intentional and start writing out.
I want to feel cherished, cherished. I want to feel
(26:56):
like my partner hears me. It's important to me that
I feel taking care of, treated like a lady.
Speaker 9 (27:04):
Some women don't want that. Some women don't, they want
very equal.
Speaker 8 (27:07):
It's all about how you want to feel and then
leaning into that when you're at dating. So Ronnie, for
you and your husband, it sounds like you both probably
subconsciously have this.
Speaker 9 (27:18):
I just want to feel safe.
Speaker 8 (27:20):
I want to someone I can feel safe with, and
that's where a friendship really can Blossom and Brian, who knows.
Speaker 9 (27:27):
What your criteria is? I love to I'd love to
hear it.
Speaker 3 (27:31):
All right, So I'll tell you what I always wanted.
I always knew I was going to end up with
two women, but I said, you know, if she's bisexual,
I'm cool with that. I can stay home and watch
my movies and she can go out and have fun
because I know she's coming back to me. That's what
I wanted that one, but no, now I want It's
always about the friendship, being able to travel with that
person and be able to talk to them about stuff
(27:52):
and not be jealous of all the people that come
in because you and Ronnie and her husband know these things.
You know, being living in Los Angeles a celebrities, you
learn a lot by sitting down and talking to them
one and one. You know, one moment, you know, I'm
thinking of Tom Cruise, one moment you're with Nicole Kidman,
and then and then you know they break up, and
(28:13):
then you're interviewing both people. The next minute they're with Katie,
and then the next movie they got somebody else, And
so I'm like, I don't want to be that person.
So I learned by what I didn't want to be
by interviewing all of them, and then you know, I
just remember I love Halle. You know Halle Holly Berry's
a good friend. But you know, every time she came
(28:34):
in for a movie, she had just broken up with someone,
and I would feel the pain. I'm like, I won't
I don't ever want to have to go through that,
you know, And that made me sad. You know, she's
one of the most beautiful women in the world, but
I just felt the pain of the last breakup she
went to as I'm she's sitting next to me now,
and I said, I never want to go through that.
I want to be like like Howard going out and
(28:54):
have my freedom because I need to go to the movies.
That's why I just need two hours. That's my that's
my thing. And then we go out and we can
do whatever you want to do, and we can go
and take a trip to Paris if you want. I'm
open to that.
Speaker 9 (29:05):
Well, there's a declarative statement you have to make.
Speaker 8 (29:07):
You get to the point where you're like, I'm tired
of this. I have focused for so long on what
I don't want. Brian, that's what you just said. You
observed all these things that went wrong for all these
wonderful celebrities and friends that you have, and you started
to make a really long list of I don't want this,
But we have to flip.
Speaker 9 (29:26):
It to here's what I do want, and here's what
feels good.
Speaker 8 (29:29):
And I'm not going to focus on the fear of
getting what I don't want, because.
Speaker 9 (29:33):
If I stay in that place, that's just who I'm
going to keep drawing in.
Speaker 8 (29:36):
But if I have the courage to say here's what
I do want, I'm going to have the belief that
it's coming to me. There's a lot of other things
that need to happen, right self talk how you portray yourself.
When you're putting yourself out there, you have to say
to the universe, I'm willing to be findable.
Speaker 9 (29:52):
I want to be findable, and here's what I want,
Here's how I want to feel.
Speaker 8 (29:57):
And then that's when the magic's arts to happen and
the whole independent thing. I remember I declared to my
therapist after my second divorce. I was a little frustrated,
and I said, I just want a damn rock star.
Speaker 9 (30:11):
Sure enough, like three months later, I meet a.
Speaker 8 (30:14):
Musician, a singer, a strongwriter, and I literally got and
I was in that point. It was just a complete
passion statement. It came from deep into my deep in
my soul. And I didn't know at the time exactly
how literal that would be. But you have to get
to that point where you're just like, I declare it,
(30:34):
and I have faith in it, and I believe in it,
and that's where you start to see the transformation happen.
Speaker 7 (30:39):
I'm true, Steffanie, you also started living that way, you know,
I really believe in now. You know, after my twelve
year marriage eleven years too long, I was married once before.
Be the person that attracts a type of person you want.
So if you if you live your life and I
know it's easy to say, but you live in your
(31:00):
integrity and it takes a lot of years to finally
be that vulnerable and that that self confident. That doesn't
mean we all think we're rock stars, but like, but
I believe in my integrity and my value. You know
who I am. So be the kind of woman that
would attract demand that you want, or the attractive type
of partner that you want. Be that way. So many
(31:24):
people are afraid to be the type of person that
attracts the type of person they want.
Speaker 8 (31:29):
It really makes really well said, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
That was that was.
Speaker 3 (31:33):
That was a lot of what to say. I agree
with all of that because it was one of the
things where I knew everything. Seems like everything I knew
was in my sophomore year in high school. I don't
know how I knew the things that I knew that
were going to play out the way it did. I
said I wasn't going to be married until I was
thirty two. I wasn't going to have kids until I
was thirty two. When I was California, I'm like, oh,
there's no way I'm having kids with all the stuff
(31:55):
that's going on. So I couldn't have done what I
wanted to do by being married and having kids. So
I sacrificed. That was my sacrifice. Now that I have
to worry about how that's now, I am open and
recepted to having these things come. That was my thing
because I didn't want to be I didn't want to
be that sussisic. You know another statistic where you know,
(32:16):
the average black guy's been married twice since got three
point five kids. I didn't want to be that guy
because I saw all of that stuff for you know,
what's definitely what you like what we were saying. I
knew exactly what I didn't want to have, So I
was waiting for the one person, and I'm patient enough
to do that. So I'm happy with that because I say,
how many people are happy? If you ask me if
(32:36):
I'm happy, like, hell, yeah, I'm happy. I can do
whatever I want to do. I wanted to go see
Howard tomorrow. I'm going to go see them.
Speaker 6 (32:42):
You know.
Speaker 3 (32:42):
If I wanted to go to Florida see Carol, I
can go. But a lot of people can't do that.
So this is why movie reviews more set out to
have people like you guys on and talking about the stuff.
Speaker 7 (32:51):
I love.
Speaker 3 (32:52):
When Carol comes on, she helps take a lot of
the pressure off me just by her being here, and
I can't wait to go see her when she goes
back to Chile.
Speaker 5 (32:59):
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 6 (33:00):
Yeah. I have a boutique hotel in Chile. It's a
retreat center. We do eco and nature centered retreats. It's
in the Andes Mountains and we're surrounded by one of
five large lakes and four glacier covered volcanoes.
Speaker 5 (33:17):
So if you're interested, definitely reach out. I think it's
so relevant too.
Speaker 6 (33:24):
About the kind of people that we're attracting based on
who we are. It's such an important point because clients
I work with who are not yet grounded in their worthiness,
in their self worth, in their knowing how valuable they
are and who they really are, who have left very
(33:44):
damaging relationships, have continued to attract those as we work
through the process to help them to unwind those patterns
and those stories so that they are attracting the kind
of people into their life that they genuinely deserve based on,
(34:05):
you know, how fabulous they are.
Speaker 5 (34:07):
So I love that point.
Speaker 9 (34:09):
That's fine, go ahead, I think, I.
Speaker 4 (34:12):
Think, don't go looking for love. Let love find you,
because I mean, when you're looking for love, it won't come.
You just got to make yourself happy and find someone
to share that happiness with. When you're looking for it,
you're you're looking at the wrong thing. You're not looking
at what's obvious. Be wrong with the relationship you're you're
(34:34):
making it that dream relationship you see in your head.
Speaker 2 (34:38):
That's not going to happen. You've got to You've got
to make.
Speaker 4 (34:40):
Your own self happy and then find somebody to share
you with and they.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
I agree with you.
Speaker 7 (34:46):
Yeah, there's something that you made me think of a
few years ago. I don't even remember how how long ago,
maybe five years ago, my husband wrote a poem he
loves to write, and he posted it without telling me.
It was a He started off with I never truly
thought I would fall in love again because I'm his
third and last wife. Okay, but the end line was
(35:08):
like made me swoon seriously. I was like, oh, because
he said something about Ronnie and he said, I didn't
know she was what I was looking for. No, I
didn't know Ronnie was what I was looking for until
she found me.
Speaker 5 (35:23):
That's beautiful, beauty, that's beautiful.
Speaker 7 (35:26):
Yeah, we weren't looking for each other. We were looking
for glove. We were confidants into each other, and really
we found each other because we became best buddies. We
would giggle, would we stuffed at each other because we
weren't trying to date each other, if that makes sense.
And then one day I was like, oh, I felt
the he b gbs and that you know, the little.
Speaker 5 (35:45):
Bit the tills, the goosebumps.
Speaker 8 (35:49):
Well, howard to your point Ronnie and Howard, to your point,
we can't say on a date.
Speaker 9 (35:56):
It's my least favorite dating question.
Speaker 8 (35:58):
I have to throw it out there because so many
coaches say to use it, and it's so what are
you looking for?
Speaker 9 (36:03):
It is a terrible question.
Speaker 8 (36:04):
I have an entire chapter dedicated it in my book
because had I shown up to my first date with Joe,
who's now the love of my life, and he said,
what are you looking for?
Speaker 3 (36:16):
And I would lifted off?
Speaker 8 (36:17):
If I would have listed it all off, he'd run
the other way because he wouldn't have been ready to
receive it right.
Speaker 2 (36:23):
How are you?
Speaker 5 (36:24):
And you can't create.
Speaker 8 (36:27):
This formula and say, you know, I want this, and
I want to be married by this, and I want
to have kids. It was through Joe's and I developing
that friendship, even though we were pretty hot to trot
for each other right off the bat.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
Rounnie, I have to.
Speaker 8 (36:39):
Admit that, but we really developed a deep connection emotionally,
and little by little, you know, he would have sworn
off ever living with a woman because he's an artist.
He's at at three am writing music, all of that
good stuff, and four years in he looked at me.
In December and he said, I just I can't live
(37:00):
with another day without being under the same roof with you.
Speaker 9 (37:03):
I really want to be with you. That wouldn't have happened.
Speaker 8 (37:06):
You would have had that conversation on the first date
or even in the first year you.
Speaker 7 (37:10):
Grow together, right, So what do you think there's speed
dating things?
Speaker 8 (37:15):
Then I think any mode is fine. It just has
to feel authentic to you. To the point that you're
all making in this great conversation is does it feel authentic?
Could you go on a speed date and have some
fun with it and not take it too seriously and
just see where it goes?
Speaker 9 (37:33):
Great, then that might be a mode for you.
Speaker 8 (37:37):
If you feel like I kind of like swiping through profiles,
it's kind of fun. It should feel fun, it should
feel light, it should feel easy. If it feels like
a heavy burden, it's probably not the dating mode for you.
There's different modes you can explore.
Speaker 3 (37:53):
Hey, Stephanie's about this because.
Speaker 4 (37:57):
I have a lot of single girlfriends and they all
stay at home and wait for Prince CHARMI And I'm like,
if you want.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
To find a guy, at least go out where guys are.
Speaker 4 (38:08):
You know he's not going to come and knock on
your door and you're in the kitchen and say, well
you marry me.
Speaker 2 (38:14):
That's not going to happen.
Speaker 4 (38:16):
Yourself and put yourself in a situation, not necessarily a
dating situation.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
It can be a social situation, situation where.
Speaker 4 (38:25):
You're meeting different people, and also through friends, not just
through strangers, because friends know you and they know who
would be a good fit for you better than you
know yourself. So I think it's just old fashioned way,
just put yourself out there and let it happen.
Speaker 8 (38:44):
Well, Howard, I love that I have a lot of
my clients. I call it varying your routine. So do
you go to the same Starbucks every morning? Pick a
different coffee shop, go to it, look around, talk to
the talk to the barista, talk to the I was
just sitting there, not in a dating mode, but just
how's your day going?
Speaker 9 (39:03):
Because then that opens up possibilities, and then, Howard, you
can organically meet somebody. And that's why I.
Speaker 4 (39:10):
Saw my wife something, That's how I met her. Really,
But yeah, but I knew I have to admit it.
I'm very materialistic, always have been, and I don't deny it.
Speaker 3 (39:21):
Well, that's just one room.
Speaker 2 (39:26):
She was too.
Speaker 4 (39:28):
When she looked at things, it wasn't just looking at things.
I mean she admired things, and she had the appreciation
for beauty and I could see that in her and
that drew me to her because most people are around
beauty and they don't see it.
Speaker 2 (39:43):
I mean they wouldn't know it. It could hit them in
the face. So remember that Bond was there to start with.
I mean she's different, like I'm different.
Speaker 3 (39:53):
Yeah, remember the old days when you could actually go
to the movie theaters and take someone, which was not
always the right place to go, but at least you
would take them someplace. But the thing is now people
aren't really going to the movies anymore. So Stephanie and Ronnie,
where are they going now?
Speaker 7 (40:11):
Kind of net the movies because you felt that chemistry
like should I hold her hand or not? Or you
were sitting next to each other and the arms brushed
and I was like, yeah, you're right, you know, it's
like what do you do? So but I want to
add a little something to that, like Stephanie said, the Starbucks,
I find I love Italy. Italy is like my favorite
country in the world. I love France as well. But
(40:32):
when I go to Europe, not like I fly every weekend.
But when I go to Europe and we just went
in the fall, people flirt. They flirt with your grandmother,
I mean the flirtag and here what kind of guarded
Maybe because I live in Los Angeles, I'm always in
my car. But when you're in a flirtatious kind of mode,
(40:53):
even with the barista, you give off that vibe You're
just you know what I mean. When I'm in a
good dude, all of a sudden, I'm attracting people, just people.
And I'm not saying men, I'm just saying people. And
I find, like, you know what I happened When I
don't go out that much because I coach virtually, but
when I haven't been now no all, I'm my own
little cave. I find that I'm more closed in. So, yeah,
(41:15):
get out. That's the thing. We don't get out as
much anymore, at least not in LA.
Speaker 3 (41:20):
It's true. I mean, it's funny. I found that. As
I'm going to visit my friends, I'm saying, how it's right.
When I go to Tennessee, I'm like, they have more
single women there than any state that I've ever seen.
Because they all flocked the Nashville, which was interesting, and
I was like, you guys need to go like it's
somebody such. You guys need to go outside of that
(41:43):
to find these guys because a lot of them haven't
gotten there yet in general. But I'm like, wow, my
head is turning, like wow, the guys that they don't
know about you guys here yet. So I'm telling them,
I think you got to go to Nashville. They're not
in Vegas, they're not in Los Angeles anymore. They're in
Tennessee right now, and some in Georgia. Is really interesting.
Speaker 9 (42:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 8 (42:01):
You know, so many dates revolve around alcohol. Let's go
get a drink, and people are tired of that. I'm
a big fan of day dates. Find box it and say.
Speaker 9 (42:12):
We're going to go from noon to one thirty and
we're going to go hit a few golf balls, even
if you're not golfers.
Speaker 8 (42:19):
Or we're gonna You don't want to do this until
you feel safe with someone.
Speaker 9 (42:22):
There has to be some degree of safety.
Speaker 8 (42:24):
But taking a walk in a public place, a very
public park, let's just walk and talk and.
Speaker 9 (42:29):
Get to know each other.
Speaker 8 (42:30):
It's up to both men and women to suggest some
more creative ideas. I mean, even there's a top golf
in pretty much every city. I'm not a golfer. I
would not impress my date if I had to do that.
We do have to get creative, even a silly old
fashioned bowling day. Let's just go to the bowling alley
and throw people all.
Speaker 3 (42:53):
And Ronnie places to go.
Speaker 9 (42:55):
Yeah, and Ronnie, you know, when you get into.
Speaker 8 (42:58):
Your physical body, out of your head, and then you
can be more authentically you because you're doing an activity together,
and then that person, your personality can shine and you're
not so wrapped up in what am I going to say.
Speaker 6 (43:12):
I do like what you said earlier, Ronnie about the
you touch on the point that everything always goes back
to a thought, and I really appreciate that too, because
what a lot of people don't realize is that a
thought fires and then the emotion fires within microseconds, right,
so we can't separate them always when we're feeling this
(43:34):
strong emotions, and when you're putting yourself out there and
being vulnerable going into situations that are maybe stretchy, doing
new creative things like you're talking about Stephanie for dating,
you know you can those emotions can really hit and
that inner critic can speak.
Speaker 5 (43:55):
Up like what are you doing? Why are you doing this?
Speaker 6 (43:57):
So I'm not feeling comfortable, And I think that's such
an important point to be able to arrest that and
pattern and interrupt that so that we can make the
decisions that we want to make and you know, have fun,
get the results that we'd like to have.
Speaker 7 (44:17):
Made me think of something we're also I'm gonna say,
i'm I'm I think subconsciously we all have some sort
of bias. People can be critical of other people, especially
when they're dating. It's like, give them a break. They're
probably nervous too, or maybe you'll like them after you
get to know them. We're very critical as well. I
(44:38):
know that a lot of my girlfriends after post divorce,
they were very critical of somebody they just started dating.
The first, second, third date. It's like, give them a break.
I don't mean like, don't look at the red flags.
I don't mean that. I mean the little things, little quirks.
Realize their quirk is is your problem. It's a you problem.
Let him be who he is because that's he's going
(45:00):
to be the rest of his life. So you also
have things that might people might not like little quirks.
I mean, we just don't be so critical of it.
Speaker 5 (45:08):
It's not possible. No, who would not like my quirks?
Come on, you know?
Speaker 6 (45:14):
I think curiosity, it's staying in a curious mode is
an antidote to judgment.
Speaker 5 (45:21):
So when we find.
Speaker 6 (45:22):
Ourselves judging people around us or situations, we can kind
of go, oh yeah, let me stay in curious curiosity mode.
Speaker 5 (45:32):
And it's a real great mental shift that really changes things.
Speaker 6 (45:38):
And one fun exercise to do, which you guys may
have done this because we're energetic beings in physical bodies.
When you're walking behind or beside somebody in a public space,
start thinking amazingly good thoughts about them, like how attractive
they are.
Speaker 5 (45:57):
How you know, valuable and wonderful full they are.
Speaker 6 (46:01):
And I'm telling you, nine times out of ten, they're
going to turn around and look at you, sometimes with
a curious look or a smile on their face.
Speaker 7 (46:09):
Are you looking at my butt? Is that what they're
gonna think?
Speaker 5 (46:12):
Absolutely, it's a fun exercise. It's a really fun exercise.
Speaker 2 (46:18):
I also would go back to it.
Speaker 4 (46:20):
My first day with my wife was Sajiquo because we
both love beauty, and I took her back and she
lived with her parents back then, and her father said,
I've never seen you come home as happy from a
date as you did then, And I think if you're
doing what you like, Brian wants to go to a movie,
So he's got to take a girl to a movie
(46:41):
that appreciates the movie like he does. So he's not
becoming what she expects or what you expect. You both
for being honest with who you are and what you like.
So if you can share that you found the right person.
Speaker 9 (46:56):
That's right.
Speaker 8 (46:56):
Because those tiny little those tiny little lies, so to speak.
Speaker 9 (47:00):
Howard of well he wants to have Chinese food. I
don't really like Chinese food. I prefer this kind of food,
but I'll go that way.
Speaker 8 (47:08):
And it's those little tiny things that put you off miles,
you know, a year or two later.
Speaker 9 (47:14):
So just you'll find your movie girl, Brian.
Speaker 3 (47:18):
You will. Oh, I'm not worried about it. No, no, no,
they're all out there. Believe me. It's the opposite. Now.
I was holding amway. The thing is like, I'm still well.
Speaker 5 (47:30):
Thanks.
Speaker 4 (47:30):
Reverse with men and women with men chase women when
we're young, because there's a lot of women out there.
I mean, well men think. Let me rephrase that. The
odor we get it reverses the women are chasing the band,
you know, because there's a lot more women than.
Speaker 2 (47:50):
There are men the other way around.
Speaker 4 (47:53):
There's a lot more women when we're young, so it's
like it's reversed.
Speaker 2 (47:57):
It's like we're the ones being chased.
Speaker 3 (48:00):
Give you a Facebook for everybody.
Speaker 4 (48:02):
Howard Wigan's Facebook, plain simple is that you'll see me
on movies review any more.
Speaker 2 (48:08):
Also, and I have three facebooks.
Speaker 4 (48:10):
The one I want you to follow is just playing
Howard Wiggness, not the Howard wiggans c interior design.
Speaker 3 (48:16):
And for the record, his dance, his twelve second, the
highest rated short that we have on movie reviews and
more on YouTube is two hundred and six thousand views.
That's Howard dancing. He's got one that's got seven, he's
got one that's got five, he's got the one that's
got three. It's just unbelievable, and they go up every day.
It's amazing. How do I know because I keep trapped
three to four times a day with that cal Give
(48:39):
you social media likes for everybody.
Speaker 6 (48:41):
You can find me at Carol Register on Facebook. Instagram
and LinkedIn. I'm at neurocoach Carol on Instagram and i
want to mention the Giving Tuesday, the Better Vision for
Children charity which I'm on the board of and it's
about prison but I've got time time. It's about preventing
(49:04):
childhood blindness and also mentoring children, mentoring children in the
foster care system. So if you're looking for a place
to give better vision for children, and that's what the
Easy Way Network and your podcast.
Speaker 5 (49:19):
Unleashed and Unstoppable.
Speaker 9 (49:21):
Yeah, I'd love to have you join me.
Speaker 6 (49:24):
Reach out and text us, let us know what you
want to hear about, give us a review. So I'd
love it if you would definitely follow us, listen.
Speaker 5 (49:34):
And share what you love as well.
Speaker 7 (49:36):
Ronnie, Well, that's a new podcast I'm going to listen
to now, I listen to podcast I grew up listening
to radio all the time, remember radio, but I always
had music on with and in the eighties when I
used to do the aerobics. Now it's all about I
walk or I work out with podcasts, I'm going to
check yours out. That's the next time I'm going to
listen to, Carol. I'm all about listening to all kind podcasts.
(50:00):
Instagram that's more for fun for me. I'll post certain
things like I posted about tonight's thing. I'm like, hey,
if you're around at five or eight pm Eastern whatever,
listen to this. So I'm on Instagram for fun under
Ronnie low ELO's form my last name Ronnie Low Life Coach.
But mostly you'll find me on Facebook Ronnie Lowisa Ronnie
Low Life Coach, and on LinkedIn. I love LinkedIn, so yeah,
hit me up on there and you know other little
(50:21):
social medias, but that's really where I am. And my
website is ronnielowlifecoach dot com. I have a coach. I'm
a life coach. I'm a fitness coach and it's really
I know people say this, but things become a cliche
for a reason. It is my passion. You know, when
Stephanie says she looks so she does. I totally felt
that coming from her. That's how I feel when I'm
coaching people and I see them actually transform, make the
(50:43):
transformations that they want.
Speaker 2 (50:45):
It's not it's true.
Speaker 8 (50:47):
Yeah, thanks Ronnie, that was amazing.
Speaker 9 (50:51):
You can find me on Instagram.
Speaker 8 (50:52):
I am trying to build my Instagram following and putting
a lot of beautiful content up there. So it's Stephanie
Seek or sorry see coach, and Stephanie for those of
you who are just listening, is actually ste f a
n I kind of like how Gwen Stefani spells her
last name. And then seek like seeking, you shall find,
so Stephanie Seek coach. And then you can also go
(51:13):
to my website Stephanie seek dot com. You will see
a teaser. I am launching a very affordable group coaching
program for women who are on their love attraction journey.
Speaker 9 (51:25):
It launches in May.
Speaker 8 (51:26):
If you have any questions, just contact me through the
website and we'll get you in that. And I'm really
excited to work with women in a bigger, more accessible way.
Speaker 9 (51:37):
So thanks for having me on, Brian. It's been wonderful.
Speaker 3 (51:40):
Oh it's all about women, you know, one for women
me and how it wouldn't be here. So as I
always say thanks to our friend in Singapore who's shining
in tonight because I know she can't sleep, our friend
and Greece because I know she can't sleep, I always
say this, thank you everybody for being here. I have
a good night tonight, I better day A mile you
see someone without a smile, please give them one of
(52:01):
yours because the world needs it. On Brian Sebastian, this
is movie. We're using more and we will see you
next week.
This program is designed to provide general information with regards
to the subject matters covered. This information is given with
the understanding that neither the hosts, guests, sponsors, or station
are engaged in rendering any specific and personal medical, financial, legal, counseling,
professional service, or any advice.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
You should seek the services.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Of competent professionals before applying or trying any suggested ideas.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Hey, there it's Brian Sebastian, movie reviews and more. And
if it's Tuesday, that means, first of all, it's giving Tuesday.
You got to give you a favorite charity, no matter
what it may be. Ours is Dreamy Ver Arts, Screaming
of Artists, Ranch, Carol Register will talk about hers. I'm
sure Stephanie has one. I'm sure Ronnie has one. So
when it comes to this, we're live on Talk for TV,
Talk for Media, K for HD radio and streaming out
(01:29):
over one hundred outlets around the world right now. So
I'm not going to do an introduction tonight because i
know exactly what's gonna happen tonight. I'm going with it.
Anytime we can have Howard, our friend Howard, one of
the littlest leading thirty five URI designers in our Collector
and the Dapperman that he is from Nashville, Tennessee. He
may be going in and out, so I'm aware that
(01:49):
what's happening now. See he's shaken because there's a secret
about him that we can't tell you about his Internet.
But it's it's funny and why we have them. How
if we have you, let me introduce you now, just
in case we lose you later. Tell everybody who you are.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
I'm Howard Wiggins, like you said, one of the top
thirty five leading interared designers in the world. I'm listed
in Andrew Martin volume three three. I don't know what's
wrong with my voice tonight, but anyway, actor, dancer, model,
of course, co hosts of movies, reviews and more. You
can follow me on Facebook and see me from there
(02:28):
a go for it.
Speaker 5 (02:30):
I'm Carol Register.
Speaker 6 (02:32):
I take women from six figures to seven plus figures guaranteed,
and I'm a neurocoach. I do it by the Neuroalwealth method.
I also co host not only this show with Brian
and Howard and Rachel and Terry and all of the
wonderful people, all of Natasha, all of the wonderful co
(02:54):
hosts on here, but I also co host the Unleash
and Stoppable podcast. We're in our third season, over one
hundred and fifty episodes, top rated. We talk about all
things neuroscience, the neuroscience of leadership.
Speaker 7 (03:11):
Health and wealth.
Speaker 5 (03:13):
And I love it, absolutely love it.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
See and I love that because you know, I think
almost every day except for today, I always called Peril
to see how she's doing. You know, Rachel Terry. It
is like the three of us who talk occasionally. Howard
will call me, and occasionally I'll call him because I
already know he's doing well. He's usually dancing with somebody
out there. That's why don't have to call him every
day like I have to do with everybody else. And
then we have Stephanie. So anybody who could send me
(03:38):
an apple pie is okay in my book. She literally
sent me one and it was very good. It's in
the top three. I had one cent from Australia, I
had one cent from Boston and hers is in the
top three. So Stephanie, tell everybody who you are, where
you're coming from in Missouri, and about relationship because this
is interesting to follow by Ronnie.
Speaker 8 (03:57):
Yes, hi, everyone, thanks for having me on Ryan. I'm
Stephanie Seek. I'm in Saint Louis, Missouri, quite the flyover state,
but we have some cool things in Saint Louis, like
toasted gravioli. You know, Emo's pizza, flat flat cracker pizza.
Speaker 9 (04:12):
I am a love coach.
Speaker 8 (04:15):
I am an ex corporate sales executive earned love and
relationship coach because in all those years of sales and
working with sales teams and leading them, it all came
down to relationships and how we communicate. I've based some adversity.
By the age of forty four, I had been married
and divorced twice. I say that with no shame, and
(04:37):
I help women overcome the shame or disappointment of divorce
or the disappointment that they still haven't met the love
of their life. Surprisingly, I have more and more men
coming to meet as well for help. So you know,
we all deep down crave someone who gets us, for us,
who loves us, for who we are, our authentic self,
(04:58):
the I am of ourselves, no matter what we do
for a living or for the characteristics we bring to
the table. And people just sometimes need help unwinding all
of that past. Pay those past habits to move into
a fully satisfying relationship. And it's never too late. It's
never too late for new love. I finally met the
(05:21):
love of my life. We've now been together happily for
four years. It can be done. It can be done everyone.
So I just released my new book. It came out
in February. Carol and I were at one of the
events at Emmy's related event where I was able to
gift it to celebrities and media. It's called Your Love Compass,
(05:44):
a Woman's Unconventional Guide to Dating and Relationships. And we
talk all things love and dating, the juicy stuff, the
hard stuff, the mindset stuff.
Speaker 9 (05:53):
And I love the work that I do.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
I see, I love that. See when she said she
was in a good relationship, but I thought she was
talking about me. After all, he did send me an
apple pie, black guy, an apple pie from Lost Jengles
who happened to be in Georgia. Nobody where you go.
So this other young lady, Ronnie is fascinating to me.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
I love her.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
I didn't know I was always listening to her husband
all the time too. So Ronnie, tell everybody where you're
coming from. Because we met with Michael Whitehouse, who Carol
knows almost every Friday when we can pop on, I
might see Ronnie, I might see ron Wyatt, I might
see uh, you know, Michael and a few other people.
And I like it because it's really intimate and I
like that setting and I like that group. And that's
(06:35):
where I met Ronnie. All right, Ronnie, we were talking
about you being on at least three months ago, and
here it is. And I always tell people time flies fast.
Let me schedule because we're going September on our bookings
right now, and if I don't put you in, someone
else calls me right away and it's gone. So Ronnie,
it seemed like there was a long time ago and
it was, but here it is tonight. So sorry.
Speaker 7 (06:55):
Lets next day. We were talking in the holidays. So
I just I feel like so much of everything that
I just heard from Howard and Carol and you, Stephan
just resonates, like, Wow, you just touch about so many
things in my life. I met my husband, Rob Archer,
who's a news anchor here in Los Angeles. That's where
I am. I'm in Lalla Land, and we met at work,
(07:16):
but he was in another marriage and so was I
at the time. Stephanie, And you're right, I'm in my
late fifties and it's not only never too late, it's
great when you start really growing up. And it's true
you just really want somebody to love you for who
you are. But anyway, we could go all of that,
but we met ten years ago. We didn't. We started
(07:37):
dating ten years ago and we've been married for seven years.
And Carol Caroll's my middle name, by the way. Yeah,
when you're talking about neuroscience and all of that, I'm like, yes, yes,
that's my jam. I'm a habit coach. I'm a certified
habit coach. I used to be a journalist. I was
(07:58):
a reporter anchor in San Diego and here in Los Angeles.
That's a long story of how I evolved into becoming
a master certified professional coach and now I'm a certified
habit coach. But when I became, because of health reasons,
a personal trainer in twenty eleven, I really set out
to be the biggest advocate for women at the time,
but women and men to be as fit as that
(08:18):
person could be. And ninety nine percent of my work
and I became a personal trainer because of my own
health questions, and I became my own self health advocate.
And the corrective exercise specialist who I was assigned to
by my doctor was like, you U need to become
a personal trainer. I'm like, I'm in my mid forties.
Who does that. She's like your own walking billboard. You've healed.
(08:40):
I mean within working within two weeks of working with
a corrective exercise specialist. I used to be like an
aerobic screen.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
Remember that.
Speaker 7 (08:46):
Now it's called cardio. I started right. I started strength
training and really advocated for myself because two Evly Hills
doctors wanted to fuse my spine. I never got the surgery.
I became a personal trainer because I was so into it,
and I asked so many questions, like you need to
become a personal trainer because people can relate to you.
(09:06):
And now I'm almost sixty years old, and at the time,
ninety nine percent of my work was mindset. Like Stephanie said,
you know, it's all mindset work. And even back then,
I realized with my clients at the time, it was
working with their habits and their habitual way of thinking.
Long story short, gonna wind it up is when COVID happened.
(09:28):
Everything closed here. We couldn't go to private studios, we
couldn't go to their homes. Went on, zoom started, you know,
training people, and people were asking me, you know, so
and so doesn't want to isn't really taking care of herself?
So and so is it working out like I thought?
I really bought a peloton. So I was like, well,
do you want to talk about So I started talking
to people and we really found out it wasn't because
(09:49):
they were too busy they didn't have time. It was
anxious times. It was other things or mindset. So I
helped them figure out how they could work out when
they could work out how they could fit fitness in
their lives. And people would tell me, you should become
a coach. Fast forward, I started looking at it because
at the time, I was like, the heck's a life coach,
you know? And I looked into it, got serious, got certified,
(10:11):
went up and levels, and I had been helping men
and women in different areas of their life, from career
to their health to their wellness, and they all aspects
are subset of the other. And at the time I
started seeing that I was always inserting their habits little things,
little tiny actions, don't take big big chunks of things
you want to do to get to your goals. One
(10:31):
tiny action and it becomes a habit. It becomes your identity.
It's part of who you are. And then the more
I kept reading, the more research I kept doing, I
realized there is such a thing the certified habit coaches.
So I went to school, got certified, and that's how
I became a habit coach.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
See that's all great, That's why I like women. So
you know, Howard, I'm going to go to you because
Howard is about being happy. He's walked a lot, he
had tell that story, and he likes to dance a lot.
And it's always about that. And I love the relationship
that he has with his wife. Bill McCarty. Welcome to
movie revis and more. I want to Ronnie skid Hey,
so Rebel, you had a question, go ahead.
Speaker 10 (11:08):
Yeah, I'm sorry, I think I misheard Ronnie. Did you
say you were how old?
Speaker 7 (11:13):
Well right now, I'm fifty nine and a half. Remember
when we were.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
A little old.
Speaker 10 (11:16):
Way, I gotta let me see that gorgeous as freako lutely,
you don't look that age at all.
Speaker 7 (11:27):
I'm going to take that good good instead of well.
And I love you, thank you for saying that, because
I'm in better health now than I was. I think
in my thirties. I really do. I really do take
care of myself. But that's just it. My mission as
a trainer was to help somebody be as fit as
that particular person could be. As fit as you can be,
(11:48):
no cookie cutters. You can go online and just you know,
follow a YouTube or here's a workout, count reps. It's
howth fit can you be? And that's when I started
really advocating for people to speak up to their doctors,
especially women and men. Don't go to the doctors. Would
you guys, please go to the doctors with something hurt?
But two men just kind of really executive women, actresses, producers, directors,
(12:09):
you know C suite, really high powered, intelligent women. They'll
go to the doctors and it's my lab coat syndrome.
They just you know, they would come back to me, well,
my doctor told me this time we that, well, did
you ask why, no, why do you have to take
that medicine? I don't know, you didn't ask no. It's like,
just believe our doctors. And I love doctors. My dad
was a doctor, but we have to ask why and
(12:30):
advocate to know why and advocate for our health. It's
not always just hormones. So you need more rest or
eat better, you know. So that's what I learn, and
I advocate, and I really want people to ask more
questions and dig deep and get second and third opinions.
Anyway I could do.
Speaker 10 (12:47):
That is so true. I definitely advise everyone to ask
your doctor if he believes in the standard of care,
and if they do, walk out and find you a
new doctor. And that doesn't I tell people, you couldn't
drive me if you've tried, okay, standard of care. Nobody,
hardly ever knows how to drive a standard these days.
There is no such thing.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
Yeah, that's that's that's a good point at that. Yeah,
we talk about this. Oh sorry, Ronnie gad.
Speaker 6 (13:15):
Well, I was I was going to say to Ronnie,
you know, the quality of your life is dependent on
the quality of your questions. So advocating for women to
use their voice speak up for themselves is monumental. It's
a huge part of the work I do and so
important because you know, the lat the white coat syndrome
(13:37):
is a thing.
Speaker 5 (13:38):
It really is a thing.
Speaker 6 (13:39):
And being able to, you know, find out the information
that you need seek a second opinion has been critical
in my own health care.
Speaker 5 (13:52):
And I think it's such a beautiful point. So I
appreciate you bringing that up.
Speaker 8 (13:56):
Yeah, and Carol, I can actually segue off of that,
because women, especially women who have been who have more
tendency to be a people pleaser. Yeah, they don't ask
the questions. And so if we're talking about doctors, or
if we're talking being on a date, often women want
to please, They want to have a pleasing conversation. They
(14:18):
want to be pleasant, and sometimes we're just too darn
pleasant and we need to lean in and say, tell
me more about that.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
You know.
Speaker 8 (14:28):
Curiosity is one of the tools I use when I'm
coaching women, dating and men, because sometimes someone will say
something and you might have a little yellow flag go
up or red flag or just think, I wonder why
they said that.
Speaker 9 (14:42):
But instead we stay quiet and we.
Speaker 8 (14:44):
Gloss over, or we immediately go into our story instead
of pausing and being intentional and saying, I would like
to understand more.
Speaker 9 (14:53):
You know, why did you say that. We can do
that with doctors, we can do.
Speaker 8 (14:56):
That with all kinds of service professionals, anyone we're buying
service it's from, but also in dating. So Brian, I
know you had something to ask, but I had to
had to weave that in there.
Speaker 3 (15:06):
No, that's perfect. That's what it's always about, you know,
the more part of stuff. Sevany, you were just speaking
at an event. Talk about that.
Speaker 8 (15:14):
I was the event that I just spoke at. Yeah,
so I've actually been speaking at quite a few events
and quite a few podcasts. The event I just spoke
at it was on International Women's Day, the Heart of
Missouri Women's Show, and we were talking about.
Speaker 9 (15:31):
Using your voice, using your.
Speaker 8 (15:35):
How you speak to yourself and Ronnie, this goes into
your work, Carol, this goes into your work. The language
we speak to ourselves inside of our own heads, that's
where our relationship starts. It's very difficult to show up
as your authentic self if you are unclear about who
you are inside of your own head. You know, when
(15:55):
you pause to observe, we always have an inside talker.
Being a shower, you're driving the car, there's this voice
inside of your head, and sometimes we're not consciously aware
of what's happening. And you know, research shows that up
to seventy We have about seventy thousand thoughts a day,
if you can believe that, and around eighty percent of
(16:16):
them can be negative, and they're usually directed at ourselves.
So what I spoke about brain at the events, just
to take three to notice, do an audit. What am
I saying inside of my own head about myself? That
could be in the context of your body. Like Ronnie right,
like women will say I'm fat, or I'm never going
(16:37):
to lose weight, or I feel tired all the time. Well,
if you say you feel tired all the time, guess what,
You're going to be tired all the time. Your brain
is going to believe that, your subconscious will believe it,
and you will manifest that to be true.
Speaker 9 (16:51):
And so in dating and relationships.
Speaker 8 (16:54):
It's amazing how many women are out there, especially in
our forties, fifties, sixties, who say there are no men
or vice versa, no good women. They all want someone younger, richer, prettier,
whatever that might be. If you buy into that self talk,
it will manifest in your reality. So just pick three things,
three things, notice three negative things you say a day,
(17:17):
and flip it, limp it to something kinder. More gentle
and give yourself some grace. So I do love talking
to especially women about that, Brian, but I think everyone
needs to hear that message.
Speaker 7 (17:27):
And on top of that, Stephanie, I find a lot
of people, especially women because I work with women, but
men as well. It's not so much the positive Pollyanna
kick your heroes three times and make these affirmation that
you don't believe. It really is about I call it
thought work. It's like your reaction or your behavior, or
you're in action, just action, especially like when you're on
(17:49):
a date or you're starting to date again, or your
health or your career, whatever it is. Whatever your behavior is,
we're in the habit of being a certain way with
certain people. I know I was different when I was
on a date than I am with a friend, you know.
Or I'm different with my husband as I am with
somebody i'm coaching. So we're in the habit of being
and expressing ourselves differently depending on who we're with, our
(18:09):
boss or our team or whatever. But also whatever you're
acting or you're reacting, if you don't like how you're
acting or reacting, look at the emotion. Do I feel joy?
Am I at peace? Am I content? Am I angry?
Is it fear? Is a doubt? Is it despair? What
is it? Okay? And whatever emotion we have at that moment,
there's a thought behind it, whether we realize it or not,
(18:31):
even if it's a lightning fast thought. And then coming
back to a Stephanie said, rather than just give yourself
I'm a million dollar maker, goddess or something. And if
you doubt it, if there's one brain of stand of doubt,
like no, you're not, then your brain, our liz or
brain looks to prove that negativity. But instead give yourself
(18:52):
a real, truthful fact. Say it out loud that you
will believe, you do believe because it's a fact about you,
and it's more positive. So I help people in that
way to give yourself what's the truth? Is that the truth?
Speaker 6 (19:06):
Well?
Speaker 7 (19:06):
Is that the truth? And then when you say it
out loud, do you confirm it?
Speaker 3 (19:10):
Not just affirm.
Speaker 7 (19:11):
I believe in confirmation of a truth rather than affirmation,
because then your brain and go, yep, noted, it'll hear it, yep, noted,
you're right, uh, and it believes it. To start confirming
your strength, start start confirming your values. What do you value?
What do you consider valuable? You start confirming why you
are capable of something. You're proving capabilities and then remind
(19:34):
yourself of those because your brain will go true and
all your wins. Celebrate them, even the tiniest little win,
like I finally got on this camera whenever it wasn't working.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Yeah, you win.
Speaker 7 (19:43):
I made it happen. But because then your brain will
go yeah, you're right capable. I do that a lot
with eating habits, by the way, in fitness habits, it's
like if one tiny little action, celebrate it, and then
your brain will go capable, noted true.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:56):
And as these two women are talking about that, he
empowered because Howard's always happy when he dances. Women are
attracted to him. He's happily married. Would know it, but
you know, because he just goes and does his yead.
You know he's got this thing. I like who I am,
and I worked hard to be who I am. Howard,
(20:16):
I'm putting words in your mouth. Stop me, Howard to talk.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
Well, I've changed my life three times. I used to
be shot. I got over being shot. I used to
be fat. I got over being fat.
Speaker 4 (20:29):
I think recognize what you don't like about yourself and
change it. When I turned sixty, I walked fifty five
and a half miles and one day, Wow, and I did.
I did, And I could have done more, but my
phone kept running in and I had to keep charging
my phone.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
I could outlast my phone.
Speaker 4 (20:48):
But if I'm determined to do something, I'm determined to
do it, and I just do it. And I think
I could even do that today at seventy almost seventy two.
I bet I could do it again if I'm wanted to.
But I just got to take the time to do it.
But I just think I can do anything I want
to do. It's just like the only person stopping you
(21:09):
is you. Yeah, nobody else is stopping you. Nobody's paying
attention to you, but you're paying attention to you, and uh,
and I feel like it's a I've been in retail
sales all my life, and retail sales, the more you
make a person excited and enjoy it and explain the
(21:29):
process of why they should do it, it's easy. I
mean every day when I make sales, I get hugs
or thank you at work. They want me to write
thank you notes. I said, I'm not doing it if
I'm doing my job. Right, They're gonna they're gonna thank me.
I'm not going to thank them. I'm the one that
helped them, you know, and they.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
Do, so I just refuse to write thank you notes.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
Hey, Howard, tell them what room you're in. Hey, I'm
in the living room.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
Room and I collect art. I collect and not a
living room. It is a living room.
Speaker 4 (22:08):
But that's another thing I'm gonna do. I think i'm
gonna I'm seventy two. I think I'm going to change
my life again. I'm gonna make some major decisions and
go with it. I don't know exactly where I'm going,
but I'm going to do it. So we'll go and
see what's going to happen.
Speaker 9 (22:26):
So that's amazing that.
Speaker 7 (22:30):
A man who loves to dance.
Speaker 6 (22:32):
Yeah, you know, you guys brought up a couple of oh,
go ahead, poward, you brought up a couple of really
good points.
Speaker 4 (22:39):
So I've always loved to dance. And like Brian says,
I'm happy, but you wouldn't know it. My wife, I've
my wife's let me be me.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
And she's her who she is, and then we are
who we are together. I love to dance.
Speaker 4 (22:52):
That's how I got my confidence in myself is dancing.
So I go out dancing with all these women all
the time, but always come home to her, and they
know that they're just my friends, so nothing ever becomes
of it.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
It's just they're my friends.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
Dollar Carton comes to his door. That's the one acceptable.
Speaker 4 (23:09):
That's a that's a different case, and she knows that.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
Hey, Stephanie, talk about this. You know, I hate the
date because the first date that I went on in California,
I had no idea. I didn't know about uh aa.
I didn't know about being a vegan. I you know,
I didn't know about a woman who didn't drink alcohol.
I had no idea coming from Connecticut, and I said,
what is this about? There was no rule book without
(23:36):
any of this stuff. So I'm like, this is terrible.
I had known this hard. I didn't know what to do.
So my thing is when I have, I thought, there's
a lot of women who out to because what we're
doing it's just but it's it's one of those things
where what Howard said and what Ronnie said, because you
know that journalist in you never leaves Ronnie. First of all,
(23:57):
you can say you're retired but you're not me. But
it's one of those things where you want that person
that you could you could go and travel with, that
you could just hang out with, you could just be with.
That's what I like. The less drama the better for
me because I don't have any of that stuff, you know.
That's why I can just pick up and go where
I want to go, and I like that. It's not
(24:19):
easy these days, especially with anxiety and a lot of
depression going on. You know.
Speaker 7 (24:22):
Yeah, well on top of that, i'd love Stephanie because
I know she's going to answer you, but I found
So what do you think of this, Stephanie. My husband
and I were friends for like two like bodies, and
we would talk about each other's dates, you know, before
we ever got together. But if he and I went
on a dating app, he and I never would have
been matched by the algorithms ever. But we're such close friends.
(24:46):
And all these guys that I matched, I realized they
were trying to conform to what I said that I
liked in my profile. And I realized that I was
deep down kind of trying to conform so that they
would like me, even though I said I want to
be myself I was really trying to conform to Oh,
I hope he likes me. So what do you think
of that? My husband I never would have been matched,
and yet we're the bestession.
Speaker 8 (25:08):
Oh I love that, And I think Ronnie, to your point,
and then to Brian's.
Speaker 9 (25:11):
Point, there's no one clear path.
Speaker 8 (25:16):
There's no you know, what would you call it like
a golden coin that says this, this is what you
have to do, because it's all in the reality that
you're creating. So, Ronnie, there was something about you and
your husband that there was just this energy between you
that brought you together as friends and it developed into romance.
(25:38):
I also know people myself included, that did meet someone
on a dating app and Facebook. I tell you what,
Facebook dating doesn't have any algorithms, in my opinion, they
just give you whatever's on there. So it's all about
the work that you're doing before you're dating or while
you're dating, to define, you know, how do I want
(26:00):
to feel in a relationship. It wasn't until I started
doing that and figuring that out and teaching other people
to do it. Because then, Brian, to your point, you're
talking about you end up talking about you know, are
you vegan.
Speaker 9 (26:12):
Do you drink wine? Do you not drink wine?
Speaker 8 (26:14):
And you want to go into dating with an intention
of here's how I want to feel.
Speaker 9 (26:19):
A lot of women, especially, will create a vision.
Speaker 8 (26:21):
Board and they'll put like, he drives this kind of car,
he has this kind of job, this is what he
does right, and Brian, I'm sure you've been like the.
Speaker 9 (26:30):
Recipient of that. And men do it too.
Speaker 8 (26:34):
Though men will be like m I only want someone
who's five foot eight, and it has to have blonde
hair and long legs, and we hold ourselves to these
physical standards. Where I have found that when people break
that cycle and they actually get intentional and start writing out.
I want to feel cherished, cherished. I want to feel
(26:56):
like my partner hears me. It's important to me that
I feel taking care of, treated like a lady.
Speaker 9 (27:04):
Some women don't want that. Some women don't, they want
very equal.
Speaker 8 (27:07):
It's all about how you want to feel and then
leaning into that when you're at dating. So Ronnie, for
you and your husband, it sounds like you both probably
subconsciously have this.
Speaker 9 (27:18):
I just want to feel safe.
Speaker 8 (27:20):
I want to someone I can feel safe with, and
that's where a friendship really can Blossom and Brian, who knows.
Speaker 9 (27:27):
What your criteria is? I love to I'd love to
hear it.
Speaker 3 (27:31):
All right, So I'll tell you what I always wanted.
I always knew I was going to end up with
two women, but I said, you know, if she's bisexual,
I'm cool with that. I can stay home and watch
my movies and she can go out and have fun
because I know she's coming back to me. That's what
I wanted that one, but no, now I want It's
always about the friendship, being able to travel with that
person and be able to talk to them about stuff
(27:52):
and not be jealous of all the people that come
in because you and Ronnie and her husband know these things.
You know, being living in Los Angeles a celebrities, you
learn a lot by sitting down and talking to them
one and one. You know, one moment, you know, I'm
thinking of Tom Cruise, one moment you're with Nicole Kidman,
and then and then you know they break up, and
(28:13):
then you're interviewing both people. The next minute they're with Katie,
and then the next movie they got somebody else, And
so I'm like, I don't want to be that person.
So I learned by what I didn't want to be
by interviewing all of them, and then you know, I
just remember I love Halle. You know Halle Holly Berry's
a good friend. But you know, every time she came
(28:34):
in for a movie, she had just broken up with someone,
and I would feel the pain. I'm like, I won't
I don't ever want to have to go through that,
you know, And that made me sad. You know, she's
one of the most beautiful women in the world, but
I just felt the pain of the last breakup she
went to as I'm she's sitting next to me now,
and I said, I never want to go through that.
I want to be like like Howard going out and
(28:54):
have my freedom because I need to go to the movies.
That's why I just need two hours. That's my that's
my thing. And then we go out and we can
do whatever you want to do, and we can go
and take a trip to Paris if you want. I'm
open to that.
Speaker 9 (29:05):
Well, there's a declarative statement you have to make.
Speaker 8 (29:07):
You get to the point where you're like, I'm tired
of this. I have focused for so long on what
I don't want. Brian, that's what you just said. You
observed all these things that went wrong for all these
wonderful celebrities and friends that you have, and you started
to make a really long list of I don't want this,
But we have to flip.
Speaker 9 (29:26):
It to here's what I do want, and here's what
feels good.
Speaker 8 (29:29):
And I'm not going to focus on the fear of
getting what I don't want, because.
Speaker 9 (29:33):
If I stay in that place, that's just who I'm
going to keep drawing in.
Speaker 8 (29:36):
But if I have the courage to say here's what
I do want, I'm going to have the belief that
it's coming to me. There's a lot of other things
that need to happen, right self talk how you portray yourself.
When you're putting yourself out there, you have to say
to the universe, I'm willing to be findable.
Speaker 9 (29:52):
I want to be findable, and here's what I want,
Here's how I want to feel.
Speaker 8 (29:57):
And then that's when the magic's arts to happen and
the whole independent thing. I remember I declared to my
therapist after my second divorce. I was a little frustrated,
and I said, I just want a damn rock star.
Speaker 9 (30:11):
Sure enough, like three months later, I meet a.
Speaker 8 (30:14):
Musician, a singer, a strongwriter, and I literally got and
I was in that point. It was just a complete
passion statement. It came from deep into my deep in
my soul. And I didn't know at the time exactly
how literal that would be. But you have to get
to that point where you're just like, I declare it,
(30:34):
and I have faith in it, and I believe in it,
and that's where you start to see the transformation happen.
Speaker 7 (30:39):
I'm true, Steffanie, you also started living that way, you know,
I really believe in now. You know, after my twelve
year marriage eleven years too long, I was married once before.
Be the person that attracts a type of person you want.
So if you if you live your life and I
know it's easy to say, but you live in your
(31:00):
integrity and it takes a lot of years to finally
be that vulnerable and that that self confident. That doesn't
mean we all think we're rock stars, but like, but
I believe in my integrity and my value. You know
who I am. So be the kind of woman that
would attract demand that you want, or the attractive type
of partner that you want. Be that way. So many
(31:24):
people are afraid to be the type of person that
attracts the type of person they want.
Speaker 8 (31:29):
It really makes really well said, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
That was that was.
Speaker 3 (31:33):
That was a lot of what to say. I agree
with all of that because it was one of the
things where I knew everything. Seems like everything I knew
was in my sophomore year in high school. I don't
know how I knew the things that I knew that
were going to play out the way it did. I
said I wasn't going to be married until I was
thirty two. I wasn't going to have kids until I
was thirty two. When I was California, I'm like, oh,
there's no way I'm having kids with all the stuff
(31:55):
that's going on. So I couldn't have done what I
wanted to do by being married and having kids. So
I sacrificed. That was my sacrifice. Now that I have
to worry about how that's now, I am open and
recepted to having these things come. That was my thing
because I didn't want to be I didn't want to
be that sussisic. You know another statistic where you know,
(32:16):
the average black guy's been married twice since got three
point five kids. I didn't want to be that guy
because I saw all of that stuff for you know,
what's definitely what you like what we were saying. I
knew exactly what I didn't want to have, So I
was waiting for the one person, and I'm patient enough
to do that. So I'm happy with that because I say,
how many people are happy? If you ask me if
(32:36):
I'm happy, like, hell, yeah, I'm happy. I can do
whatever I want to do. I wanted to go see
Howard tomorrow. I'm going to go see them.
Speaker 6 (32:42):
You know.
Speaker 3 (32:42):
If I wanted to go to Florida see Carol, I
can go. But a lot of people can't do that.
So this is why movie reviews more set out to
have people like you guys on and talking about the stuff.
Speaker 7 (32:51):
I love.
Speaker 3 (32:52):
When Carol comes on, she helps take a lot of
the pressure off me just by her being here, and
I can't wait to go see her when she goes
back to Chile.
Speaker 5 (32:59):
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 6 (33:00):
Yeah. I have a boutique hotel in Chile. It's a
retreat center. We do eco and nature centered retreats. It's
in the Andes Mountains and we're surrounded by one of
five large lakes and four glacier covered volcanoes.
Speaker 5 (33:17):
So if you're interested, definitely reach out. I think it's
so relevant too.
Speaker 6 (33:24):
About the kind of people that we're attracting based on
who we are. It's such an important point because clients
I work with who are not yet grounded in their worthiness,
in their self worth, in their knowing how valuable they
are and who they really are, who have left very
(33:44):
damaging relationships, have continued to attract those as we work
through the process to help them to unwind those patterns
and those stories so that they are attracting the kind
of people into their life that they genuinely deserve based on,
(34:05):
you know, how fabulous they are.
Speaker 5 (34:07):
So I love that point.
Speaker 9 (34:09):
That's fine, go ahead, I think, I.
Speaker 4 (34:12):
Think, don't go looking for love. Let love find you,
because I mean, when you're looking for love, it won't come.
You just got to make yourself happy and find someone
to share that happiness with. When you're looking for it,
you're you're looking at the wrong thing. You're not looking
at what's obvious. Be wrong with the relationship you're you're
(34:34):
making it that dream relationship you see in your head.
Speaker 2 (34:38):
That's not going to happen. You've got to You've got
to make.
Speaker 4 (34:40):
Your own self happy and then find somebody to share
you with and they.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
I agree with you.
Speaker 7 (34:46):
Yeah, there's something that you made me think of a
few years ago. I don't even remember how how long ago,
maybe five years ago, my husband wrote a poem he
loves to write, and he posted it without telling me.
It was a He started off with I never truly
thought I would fall in love again because I'm his
third and last wife. Okay, but the end line was
(35:08):
like made me swoon seriously. I was like, oh, because
he said something about Ronnie and he said, I didn't
know she was what I was looking for. No, I
didn't know Ronnie was what I was looking for until
she found me.
Speaker 5 (35:23):
That's beautiful, beauty, that's beautiful.
Speaker 7 (35:26):
Yeah, we weren't looking for each other. We were looking
for glove. We were confidants into each other, and really
we found each other because we became best buddies. We
would giggle, would we stuffed at each other because we
weren't trying to date each other, if that makes sense.
And then one day I was like, oh, I felt
the he b gbs and that you know, the little.
Speaker 5 (35:45):
Bit the tills, the goosebumps.
Speaker 8 (35:49):
Well, howard to your point Ronnie and Howard, to your point,
we can't say on a date.
Speaker 9 (35:56):
It's my least favorite dating question.
Speaker 8 (35:58):
I have to throw it out there because so many
coaches say to use it, and it's so what are
you looking for?
Speaker 9 (36:03):
It is a terrible question.
Speaker 8 (36:04):
I have an entire chapter dedicated it in my book
because had I shown up to my first date with Joe,
who's now the love of my life, and he said,
what are you looking for?
Speaker 3 (36:16):
And I would lifted off?
Speaker 8 (36:17):
If I would have listed it all off, he'd run
the other way because he wouldn't have been ready to
receive it right.
Speaker 2 (36:23):
How are you?
Speaker 5 (36:24):
And you can't create.
Speaker 8 (36:27):
This formula and say, you know, I want this, and
I want to be married by this, and I want
to have kids. It was through Joe's and I developing
that friendship, even though we were pretty hot to trot
for each other right off the bat.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
Rounnie, I have to.
Speaker 8 (36:39):
Admit that, but we really developed a deep connection emotionally,
and little by little, you know, he would have sworn
off ever living with a woman because he's an artist.
He's at at three am writing music, all of that
good stuff, and four years in he looked at me.
In December and he said, I just I can't live
(37:00):
with another day without being under the same roof with you.
Speaker 9 (37:03):
I really want to be with you. That wouldn't have happened.
Speaker 8 (37:06):
You would have had that conversation on the first date
or even in the first year you.
Speaker 7 (37:10):
Grow together, right, So what do you think there's speed
dating things?
Speaker 8 (37:15):
Then I think any mode is fine. It just has
to feel authentic to you. To the point that you're
all making in this great conversation is does it feel authentic?
Could you go on a speed date and have some
fun with it and not take it too seriously and
just see where it goes?
Speaker 9 (37:33):
Great, then that might be a mode for you.
Speaker 8 (37:37):
If you feel like I kind of like swiping through profiles,
it's kind of fun. It should feel fun, it should
feel light, it should feel easy. If it feels like
a heavy burden, it's probably not the dating mode for you.
There's different modes you can explore.
Speaker 3 (37:53):
Hey, Stephanie's about this because.
Speaker 4 (37:57):
I have a lot of single girlfriends and they all
stay at home and wait for Prince CHARMI And I'm like,
if you want.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
To find a guy, at least go out where guys are.
Speaker 4 (38:08):
You know he's not going to come and knock on
your door and you're in the kitchen and say, well
you marry me.
Speaker 2 (38:14):
That's not going to happen.
Speaker 4 (38:16):
Yourself and put yourself in a situation, not necessarily a
dating situation.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
It can be a social situation, situation where.
Speaker 4 (38:25):
You're meeting different people, and also through friends, not just
through strangers, because friends know you and they know who
would be a good fit for you better than you
know yourself. So I think it's just old fashioned way,
just put yourself out there and let it happen.
Speaker 8 (38:44):
Well, Howard, I love that I have a lot of
my clients. I call it varying your routine. So do
you go to the same Starbucks every morning? Pick a
different coffee shop, go to it, look around, talk to
the talk to the barista, talk to the I was
just sitting there, not in a dating mode, but just
how's your day going?
Speaker 9 (39:03):
Because then that opens up possibilities, and then, Howard, you
can organically meet somebody. And that's why I.
Speaker 4 (39:10):
Saw my wife something, That's how I met her. Really,
But yeah, but I knew I have to admit it.
I'm very materialistic, always have been, and I don't deny it.
Speaker 3 (39:21):
Well, that's just one room.
Speaker 2 (39:26):
She was too.
Speaker 4 (39:28):
When she looked at things, it wasn't just looking at things.
I mean she admired things, and she had the appreciation
for beauty and I could see that in her and
that drew me to her because most people are around
beauty and they don't see it.
Speaker 2 (39:43):
I mean they wouldn't know it. It could hit them in
the face. So remember that Bond was there to start with.
I mean she's different, like I'm different.
Speaker 3 (39:53):
Yeah, remember the old days when you could actually go
to the movie theaters and take someone, which was not
always the right place to go, but at least you
would take them someplace. But the thing is now people
aren't really going to the movies anymore. So Stephanie and Ronnie,
where are they going now?
Speaker 7 (40:11):
Kind of net the movies because you felt that chemistry
like should I hold her hand or not? Or you
were sitting next to each other and the arms brushed
and I was like, yeah, you're right, you know, it's
like what do you do? So but I want to
add a little something to that, like Stephanie said, the Starbucks,
I find I love Italy. Italy is like my favorite
country in the world. I love France as well. But
(40:32):
when I go to Europe, not like I fly every weekend.
But when I go to Europe and we just went
in the fall, people flirt. They flirt with your grandmother,
I mean the flirtag and here what kind of guarded
Maybe because I live in Los Angeles, I'm always in
my car. But when you're in a flirtatious kind of mode,
(40:53):
even with the barista, you give off that vibe You're
just you know what I mean. When I'm in a
good dude, all of a sudden, I'm attracting people, just people.
And I'm not saying men, I'm just saying people. And
I find, like, you know what I happened When I
don't go out that much because I coach virtually, but
when I haven't been now no all, I'm my own
little cave. I find that I'm more closed in. So, yeah,
(41:15):
get out. That's the thing. We don't get out as
much anymore, at least not in LA.
Speaker 3 (41:20):
It's true. I mean, it's funny. I found that. As
I'm going to visit my friends, I'm saying, how it's right.
When I go to Tennessee, I'm like, they have more
single women there than any state that I've ever seen.
Because they all flocked the Nashville, which was interesting, and
I was like, you guys need to go like it's
somebody such. You guys need to go outside of that
(41:43):
to find these guys because a lot of them haven't
gotten there yet in general. But I'm like, wow, my
head is turning, like wow, the guys that they don't
know about you guys here yet. So I'm telling them,
I think you got to go to Nashville. They're not
in Vegas, they're not in Los Angeles anymore. They're in
Tennessee right now, and some in Georgia. Is really interesting.
Speaker 9 (42:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 8 (42:01):
You know, so many dates revolve around alcohol. Let's go
get a drink, and people are tired of that. I'm
a big fan of day dates. Find box it and say.
Speaker 9 (42:12):
We're going to go from noon to one thirty and
we're going to go hit a few golf balls, even
if you're not golfers.
Speaker 8 (42:19):
Or we're gonna You don't want to do this until
you feel safe with someone.
Speaker 9 (42:22):
There has to be some degree of safety.
Speaker 8 (42:24):
But taking a walk in a public place, a very
public park, let's just walk and talk and.
Speaker 9 (42:29):
Get to know each other.
Speaker 8 (42:30):
It's up to both men and women to suggest some
more creative ideas. I mean, even there's a top golf
in pretty much every city. I'm not a golfer. I
would not impress my date if I had to do that.
We do have to get creative, even a silly old
fashioned bowling day. Let's just go to the bowling alley
and throw people all.
Speaker 3 (42:53):
And Ronnie places to go.
Speaker 9 (42:55):
Yeah, and Ronnie, you know, when you get into.
Speaker 8 (42:58):
Your physical body, out of your head, and then you
can be more authentically you because you're doing an activity together,
and then that person, your personality can shine and you're
not so wrapped up in what am I going to say.
Speaker 6 (43:12):
I do like what you said earlier, Ronnie about the
you touch on the point that everything always goes back
to a thought, and I really appreciate that too, because
what a lot of people don't realize is that a
thought fires and then the emotion fires within microseconds, right,
so we can't separate them always when we're feeling this
(43:34):
strong emotions, and when you're putting yourself out there and
being vulnerable going into situations that are maybe stretchy, doing
new creative things like you're talking about Stephanie for dating,
you know you can those emotions can really hit and
that inner critic can speak.
Speaker 5 (43:55):
Up like what are you doing? Why are you doing this?
Speaker 6 (43:57):
So I'm not feeling comfortable, And I think that's such
an important point to be able to arrest that and
pattern and interrupt that so that we can make the
decisions that we want to make and you know, have fun,
get the results that we'd like to have.
Speaker 7 (44:17):
Made me think of something we're also I'm gonna say,
i'm I'm I think subconsciously we all have some sort
of bias. People can be critical of other people, especially
when they're dating. It's like, give them a break. They're
probably nervous too, or maybe you'll like them after you
get to know them. We're very critical as well. I
(44:38):
know that a lot of my girlfriends after post divorce,
they were very critical of somebody they just started dating.
The first, second, third date. It's like, give them a break.
I don't mean like, don't look at the red flags.
I don't mean that. I mean the little things, little quirks.
Realize their quirk is is your problem. It's a you problem.
Let him be who he is because that's he's going
(45:00):
to be the rest of his life. So you also
have things that might people might not like little quirks.
I mean, we just don't be so critical of it.
Speaker 5 (45:08):
It's not possible. No, who would not like my quirks?
Come on, you know?
Speaker 6 (45:14):
I think curiosity, it's staying in a curious mode is
an antidote to judgment.
Speaker 5 (45:21):
So when we find.
Speaker 6 (45:22):
Ourselves judging people around us or situations, we can kind
of go, oh yeah, let me stay in curious curiosity mode.
Speaker 5 (45:32):
And it's a real great mental shift that really changes things.
Speaker 6 (45:38):
And one fun exercise to do, which you guys may
have done this because we're energetic beings in physical bodies.
When you're walking behind or beside somebody in a public space,
start thinking amazingly good thoughts about them, like how attractive
they are.
Speaker 5 (45:57):
How you know, valuable and wonderful full they are.
Speaker 6 (46:01):
And I'm telling you, nine times out of ten, they're
going to turn around and look at you, sometimes with
a curious look or a smile on their face.
Speaker 7 (46:09):
Are you looking at my butt? Is that what they're
gonna think?
Speaker 5 (46:12):
Absolutely, it's a fun exercise. It's a really fun exercise.
Speaker 2 (46:18):
I also would go back to it.
Speaker 4 (46:20):
My first day with my wife was Sajiquo because we
both love beauty, and I took her back and she
lived with her parents back then, and her father said,
I've never seen you come home as happy from a
date as you did then, And I think if you're
doing what you like, Brian wants to go to a movie,
So he's got to take a girl to a movie
(46:41):
that appreciates the movie like he does. So he's not
becoming what she expects or what you expect. You both
for being honest with who you are and what you like.
So if you can share that you found the right person.
Speaker 9 (46:56):
That's right.
Speaker 8 (46:56):
Because those tiny little those tiny little lies, so to speak.
Speaker 9 (47:00):
Howard of well he wants to have Chinese food. I
don't really like Chinese food. I prefer this kind of food,
but I'll go that way.
Speaker 8 (47:08):
And it's those little tiny things that put you off miles,
you know, a year or two later.
Speaker 9 (47:14):
So just you'll find your movie girl, Brian.
Speaker 3 (47:18):
You will. Oh, I'm not worried about it. No, no, no,
they're all out there. Believe me. It's the opposite. Now.
I was holding amway. The thing is like, I'm still well.
Speaker 5 (47:30):
Thanks.
Speaker 4 (47:30):
Reverse with men and women with men chase women when
we're young, because there's a lot of women out there.
I mean, well men think. Let me rephrase that. The
odor we get it reverses the women are chasing the band,
you know, because there's a lot more women than.
Speaker 2 (47:50):
There are men the other way around.
Speaker 4 (47:53):
There's a lot more women when we're young, so it's
like it's reversed.
Speaker 2 (47:57):
It's like we're the ones being chased.
Speaker 3 (48:00):
Give you a Facebook for everybody.
Speaker 4 (48:02):
Howard Wigan's Facebook, plain simple is that you'll see me
on movies review any more.
Speaker 2 (48:08):
Also, and I have three facebooks.
Speaker 4 (48:10):
The one I want you to follow is just playing
Howard Wiggness, not the Howard wiggans c interior design.
Speaker 3 (48:16):
And for the record, his dance, his twelve second, the
highest rated short that we have on movie reviews and
more on YouTube is two hundred and six thousand views.
That's Howard dancing. He's got one that's got seven, he's
got one that's got five, he's got the one that's
got three. It's just unbelievable, and they go up every day.
It's amazing. How do I know because I keep trapped
three to four times a day with that cal Give
(48:39):
you social media likes for everybody.
Speaker 6 (48:41):
You can find me at Carol Register on Facebook. Instagram
and LinkedIn. I'm at neurocoach Carol on Instagram and i
want to mention the Giving Tuesday, the Better Vision for
Children charity which I'm on the board of and it's
about prison but I've got time time. It's about preventing
(49:04):
childhood blindness and also mentoring children, mentoring children in the
foster care system. So if you're looking for a place
to give better vision for children, and that's what the
Easy Way Network and your podcast.
Speaker 5 (49:19):
Unleashed and Unstoppable.
Speaker 9 (49:21):
Yeah, I'd love to have you join me.
Speaker 6 (49:24):
Reach out and text us, let us know what you
want to hear about, give us a review. So I'd
love it if you would definitely follow us, listen.
Speaker 5 (49:34):
And share what you love as well.
Speaker 7 (49:36):
Ronnie, Well, that's a new podcast I'm going to listen
to now, I listen to podcast I grew up listening
to radio all the time, remember radio, but I always
had music on with and in the eighties when I
used to do the aerobics. Now it's all about I
walk or I work out with podcasts, I'm going to
check yours out. That's the next time I'm going to
listen to, Carol. I'm all about listening to all kind podcasts.
(50:00):
Instagram that's more for fun for me. I'll post certain
things like I posted about tonight's thing. I'm like, hey,
if you're around at five or eight pm Eastern whatever,
listen to this. So I'm on Instagram for fun under
Ronnie low ELO's form my last name Ronnie Low Life Coach.
But mostly you'll find me on Facebook Ronnie Lowisa Ronnie
Low Life Coach, and on LinkedIn. I love LinkedIn, so yeah,
hit me up on there and you know other little
(50:21):
social medias, but that's really where I am. And my
website is ronnielowlifecoach dot com. I have a coach. I'm
a life coach. I'm a fitness coach and it's really
I know people say this, but things become a cliche
for a reason. It is my passion. You know, when
Stephanie says she looks so she does. I totally felt
that coming from her. That's how I feel when I'm
coaching people and I see them actually transform, make the
(50:43):
transformations that they want.
Speaker 2 (50:45):
It's not it's true.
Speaker 8 (50:47):
Yeah, thanks Ronnie, that was amazing.
Speaker 9 (50:51):
You can find me on Instagram.
Speaker 8 (50:52):
I am trying to build my Instagram following and putting
a lot of beautiful content up there. So it's Stephanie
Seek or sorry see coach, and Stephanie for those of
you who are just listening, is actually ste f a
n I kind of like how Gwen Stefani spells her
last name. And then seek like seeking, you shall find,
so Stephanie Seek coach. And then you can also go
(51:13):
to my website Stephanie seek dot com. You will see
a teaser. I am launching a very affordable group coaching
program for women who are on their love attraction journey.
Speaker 9 (51:25):
It launches in May.
Speaker 8 (51:26):
If you have any questions, just contact me through the
website and we'll get you in that. And I'm really
excited to work with women in a bigger, more accessible way.
Speaker 9 (51:37):
So thanks for having me on, Brian. It's been wonderful.
Speaker 3 (51:40):
Oh it's all about women, you know, one for women
me and how it wouldn't be here. So as I
always say thanks to our friend in Singapore who's shining
in tonight because I know she can't sleep, our friend
and Greece because I know she can't sleep, I always
say this, thank you everybody for being here. I have
a good night tonight, I better day A mile you
see someone without a smile, please give them one of
(52:01):
yours because the world needs it. On Brian Sebastian, this
is movie. We're using more and we will see you
next week.
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