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September 16, 2021 37 mins

Bethenny opens up about the Met Gala, Erika Jayne, and more

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Yeah, okay, so, uh, I get a lot of comments
about these rants, and it's funny because I had never
I still have never listened to a podcast before, and

(00:23):
I didn't really know what this whole medium was about.
And I'm not on television now. And one of the
things I really did like about housewives was the absurdity
and just the ability to say anything that you wanted
or felt. That was very liberating for me, because, um,
I need to express myself. I'm one of these people.
Some people need to work out, some people need to
have sex, some people probably need to murder people. You know,

(00:44):
those are those types of people. But I need to
vent and rant and say things that aggravate me. And
when I did stand up comedy for the first and
only time, one of the comedians, I just want to
give her the credit that she deserves and I'm just
blacking out. So anyway, she um, she identified that my
comedy or the things that I want to talk about

(01:06):
are these sort of things that I'm aggravating about. Um,
And it's such a great vehicle here to just talk
about them. And you don't have to agree with me.
You could think I'm insane. It's just these ramblings of
a lunatic that you you know, you're on the subway
or you're taking your kids to school, or you you
you look somebody up and down about what they're wearing,
or you know, the moms that decide to dress like

(01:28):
in hair makeup and the people like me who dress
like you know, do we live in a sewer And
so basically it's just like thoughts that go on throughout
the day. And I'll text my assistant. I'll say something,
I'll text her something she doesn't understand at all, Like
I'll just be like paying forget a mantra, Like that's

(01:48):
what I'll text her, Okay, it's it's and it will
get there at some point. And then I just sometimes
I read them on the piece of paper. I forget
what I even said or what I thought. You know,
I'll be out in a restaurant with someone and someone
will some of you'll drive me crazy, like when I
waits like have you dine with us before? Were? I'm like,
I haven't, But I somehow feel I'll be able to
navigate the scrawl on this piece of paper. And then
I see a kitchen, so I think there's a man
or a woman who's gonna cook some food and I

(02:09):
think you're gonna bring it out with the larger round
trees are meant to be shared. I'm like, cool, that's
so interesting. Okay, wow, the things that are at the
top of the advertisers so like, these are the types
of things I think about. What's your water preference. I'd
fucking like it to be liquid if it's possible, but
it needs you want to be ripped off to the
nth degree? Or do you do you know? I have
been around the world, I've traveled a lot, and I

(02:31):
still feel like an idiot every time. It's like the wine.
Do you want to talk about the wine? Let's just talk.
You know what's going to happen. You could put the
best wine at the top of the two dollar price
tag and the shittiest one with the seventy five dollar
price tag, and if someone's on a date and wanting
to impress someone, they're gonna get the seventy five one.
I'm in the liquor business. I have a wine brand.
I have no idea. We save these words like shabilee.

(02:53):
When I was a kid, it was shabilee, and when
I was a kid, what we call now Rose I
seemed to be white zim Fandel and it wasn't even white.
I don't think. I think it was pink. But zim
Fandel was like a cheap eat type of ASTI spumante,
like wine in a box, vibe thing. And now Rose
is pink and that was not in when I was younger.

(03:13):
So these types of things that we think about, that
I think about, that's what we're gonna do today. Just
I'm gonna rant about things that I've been talking about,
and I'm probably gonna get myself into trouble or we'll
edit some of these out. I don't know where do

(03:34):
I begin. Well, first I want to talk about fashion,
because first of all, when you listen to this, I
sound like I'm not current because it's not exactly when
things are happening. We edited and it might air a
week later to a month later, depending upon the guests
and the topic, et cetera. So if I'm talking about
the met Galo, which was last night for me, you

(03:55):
might be hearing it a week later, but I'm not.
This is not a podcast for current events. It's sort
of if I talk about something or someone, like if
some some someone famous or some famous couple or some event.
It's only because it's a matter that transcends this moment.
Meaning I don't care about popular culture. I don't care

(04:15):
who's sleeping with you. I only care about what it means,
meaning what the construct is. So if I'm talking about
the MET Gala and I'm talking about fashion, I am
talking about what it means, what the what the what
it means to us who are watching and who aren't
really involved and who it's it's this show and the
MET Gala has evolved because if you look at pictures

(04:37):
when they flashback and you see Donna, Karen or Um,
Elizabeth Hurley or someone, they wore gowns, beautiful gowns. It
wasn't so crazy until I remember, I think Rihanna broke
through with all her like the real Costume Institute moments. UM.
So I'm thinking about this year's MAC Gala, and I'm

(04:59):
thinking about UM, the Kardashians and j Lo and the
way they present and the evolution of it, and in
some ways it's really become this competition like these the
fashion shows are always about the designers who design and

(05:19):
what are they? Who designs the best design for these
models and muses but there really isn't a show that
is about who's wearing the best. We do that, we're
sort of the court of public opinion judging who wore
the best, who wore it best, but there's no show
really saying it out loudly. There are people their opinions,
this person won the night, this person looked terrible, but

(05:41):
no one sort of really saying no, that person actually won.
So this year, I thought that Kendall Jenner one. I
thought she was spectacular, extraordinary. I thought that dress was
elegant but still a moment like not safe, daring and sheer,
but so because it's pays homage to what the event
really is. And then other people do these sort of

(06:03):
clown suits, crazy things that everyone has to talk about
and thinks are amazing because you sort of don't even
know how to understand it. So the guy from Ship's
Creek who I love, Daniel Levy, did this outfit that
was outrageous, but I don't know that I liked it.
It just was so crazy that you have to talk
about it. Same thing with umsap Rocky. He was wearing

(06:24):
a blanket like it was a blanket of pomp pomp
poms that look like someone's grandmother made it, Like how
much did he pay for that? Because I get that
it was a moment, but it was a giant blanket.
I want to snuggle in that in my house? Was
that not a blank It was a big blanket. So like,
you know, we have to be reduced to them that
we don't understand because remember that conversation that and a
wind Tour had in Devilware's product about how cerulean blue

(06:46):
is derivative of all these different moments. So we're you know,
if I could literally wear uh, you know, a vintage
telephone booth as a dress, and oh well yes, I
mean obviously I get it. Anybody who knows would get
why you're wearing a vintage telephone booth. But I could
just it's sort of like art, you're just like fucking
with people. But then someone like Rihanna, it's it seems

(07:10):
like you do get it because she was wearing that
that beanie, that cap with diamonds, like you know that
there was a whole narrative there, and I'm sure there
was two for Asap Rocky they went together. There's a story.
But sometimes it just seems like, let me wear something
absurd and ridiculous. That's expensive and get away with it.
But I you know about fashion and about who gets
invited to the met Ball, like why does Chloe Kardashian

(07:34):
and Courtney aren't a list enough and they have a
hundred and thirty two eighty million followers. But Madison Beer,
who wore adult Chickaman, addressed that I literally have very
similar one I wore twenty years ago to a Victori's
Secret fashion show that I bought a sample sale, and
she wore a pink version of that, So that wasn't
very daring, and I don't think that she's really anyone

(07:57):
in fashion, but she has a ton of TikTok followers,
and so does Addison Ray, who someone said she borrowed
adjust from Courtney Gardashian, So she was invited because she's
an influencer and younger. So I guess like Chloe and
Courtney in Purgatory, they're right in the middle. They're definitely influencers,
but they're older. So this year they wanted either icons
or young influencers, because I can't see how Addison Ray

(08:19):
would be there, not courtnay Um. And then Megan Fox
is there and isn't she more relevant now because she's
in a relationship with someone that's very relevant. But didn't
She's gonna go away for a minute, so we all
don't understand exactly what is why And guess what the
HBI c Anna wint Or gets to decide whether the
funk she wants she could invite whoever she wants, she

(08:40):
could invite herkell. That brings me to the Kardashians. Uh.
Kendall Jenner is a supermodel. Kylie pushes the fashion envelope
all the time. Um, but Kim in wearing that all
black ensemble, which I said yesterday they said that Kanye
and followed her, and I believe that that's sort of

(09:01):
some connected message to this this costume. I just think
that it's not unrelated. There's something that they're in on.
But she said herself she always wanted to be on
the cover of Vogue. She's had This is goals for her.
She wanted to be invited to the met Ball one.
I think the first year she got invited because of Kanye.
Then she got invited in her own right. The next year,
Kylie was invited, Chris is invited, Courtney and Chloe are not.

(09:25):
That's got a bug them. They do everything the same
and everything together. But that maybe probably makes the two
sisters feel more elevated. And and but I have to
say for Kim, she has committed to this life. Like
she she she told a story. If this is supposed
to be impact and theatrics and escapism, she accomplished that,

(09:48):
Like I saw that black outfit on the stairs, Like
I'm giving her full props for being disruptive, for saying
I'm here and I can take chances and do my
own way, and you know, own the room. And you know,
a lot of people don't give them props. It always
is given props. But well, she's a billion dollars, brought
the sex tape or well whatever, Like I'm just giving

(10:09):
straight up props. It takes so much work. I for
me to go to that event, I would be planning
for eleven months. I would figure out a way to
rock it. I would make it my business. But like
these girls, j Lo had been at the Venice Film
Festival with Ben Affleck in full regalia with diamonds everywhere.

(10:30):
Right before that, she was at the dol Chase Show
looking like a app like literal like brocade queen with
the craziest costume like that, that was the costume the
met Gala. That was crazy. Her outfit there was crazy
than her costume with the MEC Gala. Then she goes
with Ben Affleck too Venice again. I think for his
film festival. Unless I'm mixing stories, No, I think she

(10:52):
went back. I don't know. She was there for dol Jacobana.
Then Ben had a thing and she went with him.
Then she went to the v m As. Then she
went to the Beck Gala and like that, like Indiana
Jones outfit, Like do you know how exhausting that is?
That whole thing? Dad alone. I mean, she's got kids,
she's got a job, she's got a relationship, she's got

(11:12):
a mother, she's got a house. She must I mean,
not that we're comp Nobody likes to hear like they're
rich complaining about being exhausted, And she's not complaining. I'm
just saying, these people are committing to really just win,
to make a statement. And what do we all think
of that? A lot of people don't like it. A
lot of people think there are real things going on
in the world. But that's escapism. You know, I'm the

(11:34):
first one I deal with a lot of real things
going on in the world, a lot of natural disasters,
a lot of crazy stuff and people dying. But you know,
it's what. It's escapism, and people want to see something,
and so they're putting on a show to entertain others.
Us on the other side in times of stress. I mean,
that's not their purpose. I mean, don't get me wrong,

(11:55):
I'm not overstating. They're all they all want attention, they
want it, they love it, they want to win the night.
I just think it's just an interesting conversation, alright. So

(12:17):
cancelation is obviously a thing. It's cancelation nascent nation. And
I was talking to my assistants yesterday about cancelation and
sometimes will say, is that person can't I'll always say,
is that person canceled? Because, as I said another time
on this podcast, there's no jury. No one put down
the gavel and said, yes, this person is canceled. You
are canceled. So some people are undeniably canceled. Obviously, Bill

(12:37):
O'Reilly's canceled. Harvey Weinstein is canceled, like banished to an
island forever. Being a criminal should be in a different category.
So that's the Harvey Weinstein thing. But you know, like
Matt Lauer was a pretty big cancelation. And whether you
agree with that or not, it's just that was a
pretty big cancelation. And and and Brian Williams was not
a cancelation. That was a demotion, Okay. And that's what

(12:59):
we're gonna get into too. So Briant Paula Deane was
a cancelation. Nick Cannon was a demotion. Had a bad
moment that was being demoted. Years ago, don Imus said
something about women um and I don't want to say
because it was a women out of basketball team and
it was like a racist, derogatory comic canceled. Okay. Julianna
Ransi said something about Zendaya demoted. Okay, Chrissy Teagan with

(13:24):
the thing about her saying that stuff to that girl
demoted Olivia Jade and it was a bad one, Okay,
Olivia Jade because she was like an influencer, et cetera. Demoted.
Christie Tagan still has thirty million followers. Olivia Jade still
has how many followers and she's on Dancing with the Stars.
Nick Cannon still has whatever followers and he's on Mass Singer.
I think this is the host. So these people don't

(13:46):
may not have all the different promotion deals, endorsement deals,
but they so they've been demoted. So my assistant said
to me, what about Erica Jane. Has she been canceled?
I'm like, no, she's on trial right now, the trial
the judge, no judge has put the gavel down, like
and because she hasn't had her maya culpa, she hasn't
said her thing. She she's she's definitely semi demoted, but

(14:07):
she's on a show that's celebrated for trashiness and scandal.
You know, Teresa, arguably it was elevated by going to
jail and that's like sort of street cred and you know,
but the salahis who broke into the White House and
that show got canceled. They were canceled, So it's very
great people get demoted. People in purgatory waiting to see

(14:29):
what's happening. I ran into Christy Taking when she was
in purgatory. I didn't think she was gonna fully get canceled.
She definitely hasn't gotten canceled, but she's definitely been checked
and it may not be the same, but to me,
I don't know thirty million followers. Seems like a pretty
serious following to me. So then we talked, so this
is about Erica Jane. So my assistant said, well, that's crazy.
What's going on now? Now obviously I've know what's going on.

(14:50):
I haven't seen the show, but I have a specific
perspective on this. So Dennis Shields, my ex fiance, he
passed away. He owned a company called law Cash. It
was the largest funder, one of the largest funders of
litigation in the country, and so funders of litigation. It's
what happened with Hulk Hogan. He couldn't have fought that

(15:11):
case that you want if he didn't have someone backing
him in that litigation. Most people don't know this is
even a business, and people don't like this business. But
I'm just reporting the news. So there are these people
that fund litigation, and so it has it happened like
Ana Nicole Smith I think had litigation funding. Bill Cosby RV.
Weinstein may have, or they talk about it because they
are not gonna be able to afford their UH litigation.

(15:34):
And you know, it happens on every level. It happens
with UH companies that if you that's when you always
see all these commercials. You see these billboards. Uh, John
Morrigan does it in Florida. He basically if you get
into an accident or class action suits, transvaginal mesh, things
that happened from baby powder, like any of these kind
of things, these big lawsuits that are class action lawsuits,

(15:57):
mass towards. I'm getting complicated, but you under standin I'm saying,
these lawyers do this. So that's so John Morgan is one.
There's I know a lot of them because I met
them through Dennis and I went to these sort of
conferences with him, and I've met them, and some of
them are billionaire lawyers, like major, major lawyers. Some have
taken down like the NFL, Volkswagen, Chinese drywall, like major ship,

(16:20):
big tobacco. Okay, that's that's that kind of stuff. So
Tom Girardi was a lawyer that worked in that space,
which is why I've met him, which is why Dennis
knew him. So Dennis had never seen the show. So
this was in two thousand eighteen. So Dennis and I
watched the show The Beverly Hills Housewives. I don't I

(16:40):
didn't watch this season. I want I dabbled so he
watched a little because he um new Tom Girardi and
he knew of Erica Jaane because Tom used to send
Dennis videos of Erica and Dennis would be like a
little uncomfortably, be like watching in your office when you're alone.
That's what Tom would say to Dennis and be like,
that's creepy and weird. So, um, we want ran into.

(17:00):
I met Tom at like a lawyer's conference. I think
it was in Florida or l I can't remember. I
think it was it was l A a lawyer's conference. Um,
so I knew I was aware of Tom, and also
I saw Aaron Brockovich and um, and I told Dennis
that Erica said on the show that she spent fifty
thousand dollars a month on her glam and I also

(17:21):
told him that her private plane. She had two private planes.
And he said what, And I said yeah. And my
experience is especially with the housewives, but everywhere as well,
but really particularly with the housewives, if someone's flaunting their money,
they don't really have it. And a lot of that's
happened with a lot of the girls on all of

(17:42):
the shows. And I can tell you that in New
York people right that they have like fifty seventy five
million dollars. All the girls have probably between like four
and eight million dollars, and that's a lot of money,
but people like you know, and then there are ones
that were on before that have that really don't have
a lot of money at all, but the media makes
it like they do. In particularly on Beverly Hills, there
have been a lot of all show and no go girls.
And the more that they they flaunted, and the more

(18:03):
that they, you know, brag about it, usually there's something wrong.
I've always found if you're really flaunting your money, then
you probably don't really have it. So I was talking
to Dennis about this and I was, you know, Christopher Buckle,
I know, is a friend of mine. He was doing
her makeup and she's spending a crazy amount of money.
She said this cost fifty a month and I was like,
holy shit, six thousand dollars a year. Now I have money.

(18:26):
I make money, I you know. I was like, that's
rolling really deep, and that's just the nut that would
be hard to sustain. And Dennis said to me, he
doesn't have it like that. He owes me money, He
owes me half a million dollars. I know this other guy.
He owes a million and a half dollars. He doesn't
have money. He owes everybody money. And I go, what
are you talking about? How is she flying around on

(18:46):
the big plane and a small plane. And he said
it's not because he's using people's money to support her lifestyle.
He's using the company's money to support her lifestyle. Dennis
said this, and I said, what are you what are
you talking about? And out Don't get me wrong, I
didn't know everything about specifics. I didn't know what kind
of cases he was working on. I didn't know there
was an airplane flight. I didn't focus on it that much.

(19:07):
I just was focusing on the five six hundred thousand
alls a year. And Dennis was like, yeah, no, he
owes me money and it aggravates everybody. I said, why
why would he do that? He goes he can't say
no to her. Dennis said, he can't say no to her. Okay.
So now we were away in um New Orleans in
May of two thousand and eighteen, and we ran into
uh not ran into went to meet these other like

(19:30):
billionaire lawyers that that Dennis knows and also people that
Dennis worked with who I know I've mentioned it too,
And it was a well known secret, like it was
a well known it was widely known, best kept secret,
like it was the worst kept secret, you know what
I'm saying. So so this lawyer, who I don't want
to bring these other people into it. When Dennis said
to that him because he doesn't focus, he doesn't watch

(19:52):
the housewives. So Dennis said, do you know in his acts,
like do you know Erica Jaye spent five hundred thousand
dollars fifty thousand a month on her her hair and
her makeup. And the guy's like what he owes everybody money?
He's being sued by everybody. So it was a thing.
So I knew about it. So I don't know, like
that's just what happens. Things take a long time to

(20:13):
come out. But everybody in that industry knew about it.
All these major lawyers and I'm talking about around the
country that are in this industry, they all knew about it.
And I I told Christopher Buckle about it. I told
Andy Cohen about it just to say like it's not
what you think. You know Erica. I have met and

(20:34):
met her at Christina Aguilero's birthday party, Erica performed. We
had a nice, very brief conversation. She we like you know,
social media at each other, and she sent me boots
which were great. And I think she's interesting. I think,
oh I met her, she came to my house because
we did the crossover. I think she's interesting. I'm sure
she has an interesting story. I think she's tough. I
think she brings it with the fashion is polarizing, and

(20:55):
she seems strong. And she said, you know, unique history.
I don't know her that well. And when I told
it to Lisa Rehn and Kyle, I just said it
like they don't get it, like that, like it's something
you know her. Her husband. Everybody knows in that industry
that he owes a lot of people money that he
is also being sued by many of them. So when
this came out, I don't know during the pandemic last year,

(21:17):
I didn't even really know about it. Um and he
called me, he goes, holy sh it, you really do
know it all. He's like, you told me about this
years ago. I'm like, yeah, I told you, Like no,
I you know, I hashtag I know it all. So
I knew about this whole thing. Um, I knew since yeah,
probably probably two thousand seventeen and two thousand eighteen. I

(21:39):
knew about this so definitely, because we all wear away
that summer that he was the summer before in l
A that I Meagan Dennis told me about this in
two thousand seventeen and this all came out, and I
guess so it wasn't a very well kept secret in
that industry, but we're in the entertainment industry and that's
very different. So it's crazy. I haven't seen it. But

(22:00):
I when I was talking to my assistants about people
getting canceled, they said, this is like crazy that you
haven't talked about this because I haven't been really paying
attention closely and I didn't realize this is like a
major thing that everyone's talking about. So I, you know,
Andy said it to me, and I said it and
forget it. I just like I didn't know, and I
haven't seen the show. I just I think when I left,
I just sort of left that franchise and took a cleanse.

(22:22):
So I don't know what's really going on, but it
seems to be like a very big conversation and um
and I think that the reason that I brought that
up today is talking about people's need to show what
they have. I remember the first season, Alex and Simon
going in St. Bart's and spending like a hundred and
something thousand dollars and they had, you know, they didn't
have it like that, but they felt like the show

(22:43):
would catch up with what they were spending, meaning, you know,
and there are other people on the Beverly you know,
Beverly Hills and other franchises that have done the same.
And for some people, works out the money that you're
making catches up with the way that you're spending, but
for others it doesn't. And that's a dangerous game. If
people are haunting and showing a lot of what they have,
very often it's all show and no go. And people

(23:06):
are just so tempted they must they must show a lifestyle.
And you cannot create a life out of a lifestyle.
You can create a lifestyle out of a life, but
you cannot, like you can't lifestyle your way into a life.
And I think that people just get so tempted to
show everything and say everything instead of just keeping quiet.

(23:27):
And that's so much stronger saying nothing. Is so much stronger.
Just being more subtle about it is so much more
powerful and strong. But it's there's something in our society
where everybody needs to show what they have. And Instagram,
you know, hashtag blessed equals hashtag bragging. You know, every
time hashtag blessed, someone's always on a private plane, someone's

(23:49):
always you know, on the back of a yacht because
their hashtag blessed. Like if you're healthy and your kids
are healthy and they love you and they adore you
and they're snuggling and it's it was just a natural disaster,
your hashtag blessed because you're on the back of it,
your hashtag bragging. So I just think that people, because
of Instagram and because of filters, and because of look
at me, and because look how good my ask looks
and look how bad yours looks, is what they're effectively saying,

(24:10):
because that's what everyone feels, and let me filter my
picture and let me bullshit my way through everything. There's
usually something they're hiding, how this is how perfect my
relationship is, And then you find out four years later,
and then you want to bring that person down because
the people who get brought down the worst. The people
who get canceled the worst are the people that were flaunting, bragging, fronting,

(24:33):
looking down upon. Really just I'm up here and you're
down here. So just think about that in your life,
even if you're not on television, even if you're not
in the house. So I just think about what you're saying,
what you're doing, how you're living. Because what goes up
must come down, and who you see on the way up,
you're gonna see on the way down. So that's why

(24:54):
I brought up the topic of the Erica Chain situation.
That's people all over the internet are writing about her
shopping and the clothes and the yachts and the glam
and the shoes and the diamonds and the planes and
all this stuff because the people you know in that industry,
and the people who really knew knew that they were

(25:17):
all getting robbed. Do you know people who are just
showing and you know that they don't really have it
like that, and you feel that they're going to have
a greater fall publicly in your circle when things go
if things go wrong, or do you feel a greater
sense of indulgence when somebody gets canceled when they've been

(25:43):
fronting and stunting. If someone's just been sort of minding
their own business and they say something wrong, is their
cancelation different than somebody who's been fronting and stunting. Do
you want to just grab them and pull them down.
Someone's been flaunting their relationship, how perfect it is, flaunting
perfect their bodies, and something goes wrong and you feel
better about that at that time because they've just shoved

(26:04):
it up your ass. So that's what I think. And
I don't think that's talked about. Cancelations talked about, but
the terms the cancelation policies not talked about. The terms
of your cancelation is not talked about. And I think
that's very important and very relevant. And like I said,
don't care about celebrities. I don't care about who people
are sleeping. If you've listened to the podcast, you know
I don't care about these people ca you know, I

(26:26):
care about what it means. I care about socially, what
it means. I care about how we're living, and I
care about lessons and takeaway. That's what I care about.
So had Erica Jane not you know, had had the
different people on the Housewives that say that constantly brag
and freak out if you find out that they are
being sued, or freak out if you find it that
they really don't have the money, or that they owe people,

(26:47):
or that they're renting their house, or that you know
they had a bad situation, or that they have skeletons
in their past. Are you more aggravated when they've pretended
everything is perfect. That's the thing. It's so much easier
to just be flawed and just be honest. But everybody
needs everybody else to think that they're better than they
actually are, and everybody wants to keep up with the Joneses.

(27:08):
I just started zero. I just don't wear makeup, so
when I put it on, I look good, We're like, wow,
you look beautiful, And I really probably don't. I just
the bar so low, okay. So being somebody that's always

(27:34):
in pajamas always and never has hair and makeup on never,
like really really never never never, probably nine at the time. Never.
So when I go out, like I have a bottom
mizza on Saturday, I'm gonna do my hair and do
my makeup and try to look somewhere cute. And that's
that's okay. And because I like my skin to be

(27:54):
fresh and free always. I just don't like makeup on me.
I don't like lashes on me. I don't like hair spray.
I like just a Um. So I'll go out this
Saturday and that'll be a thing like that's gonna be
an hour more than I would ever take to go
just out to dinner. When I got to dinner with
pol put my clothes on, I put a little lip
class on. If it's a summer it's great because it's

(28:15):
a hat and sunglasses and it's the winter, and it
was just put a ponytail and hope it don't, you know,
run into someone. I know it sounds like maybe it's
not making an effort. But I'll put a cute outfit
on and some live class and I go to dinner. Um,
I think time is so valuable, so that extra it
could be like an hour and a half to get
your hair and makeup done, So that extra hour of
my life is not worth it to me. The nails,

(28:37):
I don't wear nail polish at all. I never wear
nail polish. I just get my nap nails done have
been buffed because all that is time in my life.
And maybe people are less busy. But then I look
at these major celebrities and I think about, so I
know how long it takes to get ready, Like I
know how long it takes Beyonce or j Lo like
three times, Kim Kardashian like three or four times that

(28:57):
it takes me to get ready, becausey t can definitely
takes a two to two and a half hours if
she's doing something major, and probably like an hour and
a half two hours. But if like there's hair stuff involved,
like hair pieces or wigs are being or falls like
the long thing, that's like a long time. So they
have to do all of that then do like whatever
the press of it is, like the theatrics of it,
how exactly am I posing? And when did the jewelry

(29:19):
get there? And what exactly is the bag and what's
the overall look? And it's not just like when I
do my hair and makeup, I just pray for the
best to put on an outfit and the hair looks
pretty much the same every time. I don't sit down
and like, all right, I want to look like Joan
of Arc Tomorrow, like Elizabeth Taylor. I'm going for this,
I'm going for that, I'm going for God, Like they
have a whole plan. So there's like a whole creative
meeting too with stylists. And that's a job. And I

(29:40):
know it's their job, and I know it's part of
them making money. It's part of the whole thing. But
from like a time suck perspective, so that would take
up so much time. They're out like every night doing
these events. So then if they have kids, how do
you spend a ton of time with your kids? Because
you gotta take your kids to school, back from school, dinner, night, bedtime, talk, fun,
pumpkin pick in, Christmas decorations, all that. Then have a relationship,

(30:04):
But then that person you're in a relationship also has
that whole circus. I mean, I don't think that the men.
You know, the men don't have the same circus, but
they still have the whole stylist. And I forgot to
even mention the stylist. I was just talking about the
hair and makeup, the clothes. Oh my god. Any my
assistant just said to me, like, do you want to
have a stylus for your book cover? Shoot? And I

(30:25):
was like, oh my god, if we had to bring
over our own clothes, it's like a rolling rack and
it's shoes and it's all this stuff. I'm like, sure,
but that will be a whole process doing that and
the different outfits and changing. I mean, it's a full
time thing. So it's hard. It's hard to imagine two
people both having to do that whole circus, both having kids,
both having obligations, both having major careers. Like I don't know,

(30:47):
I would be literally exasperated the entire time. Like the
way j Lo showed up to that Dolt Jay Gabana
thing in Venice was nothing short of theatrical like it was,
and she had a different outfit every meal, and there
were definitely a whole entourage. There was definitely a whole
entourage they're doing that with her, But like, that is
so much work. We're watching like an amazing show, you know,

(31:11):
it's an absolute like Vegas. I don't mean that in
a derogatory way, like an a spectacle show. It's just
hard for me to imagine how you fit in time.
If you go to bed at any kind of reasonable hour,
I just know how many hours of the day there
are and there aren't enough. And then forget about like
cooking in your house and keeping your act together. And
I know people have people who do it, but still

(31:32):
you have to manage your stuff. So I have ideas
and all that. It's it's just it's just interesting two
think about it. What do you think about time? I mean,
I value it so much. I valued it for a
long time. I've taken so many things off the board
that I do and for me personally, image is not
something that I'm willing to spend time on when I'm ninety,

(31:54):
I can promise you this. When I'm years old, I
will not be around saying I wish I wore more makeup.
I wish I had more selfies that look better. I
wish I had more followers, you know, I wish I
got that outfit right. I wish more people thought I
would look beautiful. I will not be saying that. I
will be saying, God, I'm so glad I spent all

(32:16):
that meaningful time laughing and with my daughter and um,
with all those experiences, like without being frazzled and rattled
and just like always running. It's just the way that
I am. So it's interesting to think about how you
choose to spend your time. I choose to work when
I have to, and then stack all the rest. Another
question related to that is, is it is it possible

(32:39):
to be in a good, healthy relationship and also flaunting
it all the time. We see so many Hollywood couples.
They spend years and years flaunting how amazing their life is,
their relationship is, their gifts are, how much the person
loves them, They're so lucky they met their soul mate.
They write it on social idea, they wax poetic, they

(33:03):
gosh and they and everybody watching it feels like absolute
shit about themselves because either their relationship isn't as good
and then it makes them feel better about themselves, or
they're not in a relationship and then they feel like
about themselves, or they're not as attractive, or their partner
doesn't do as much for them. All of this is
like to show, and then someone could say that it's aspirational,

(33:25):
it's something to look up to. Is it aspirational to
look at shiny pictures of rich and famous people showing
how in love they are when we're just getting a snapshot?
And then that's why people get excited and literally are
like parasites when a couple breaks up. That's why a couple,

(33:46):
as to say, we respectfully asked for your privacy during
this challenging time, because the fans want to say, we
respectfully ask for our privacy while you were fucking flaunting
it with all your you know, lucks, good gifts and
Valentine's Day and all the things that you have that
we don't have. So you can't fucking have it both ways.
You can't go flawed, how amazing it is, and then

(34:08):
what your privacy when the ship goes sideways And I
went through it, you know, with with I went through
it with Jason, like I was like, hit me with it,
I you know, And I put it on my show
that things weren't going well because I didn't want people
to think that it was. I don't like people to
think that, like my life is so great and it
makes them feel bad bad about themselves. It's kind of
why I don't. Every day I post myself the way

(34:30):
that I really am in pajamas and my hair wreck
and my grays, and I don't care because that's what
people really look like. And I don't want to post
something that makes people feel bad about themselves and that's
not true. It's effectively lying. It's effectively lying, and they
don't like that, and I don't think you can spend
so much time producing what your relationship looks like to
other people and actually have it be good. I always say,

(34:52):
you can make a lifestyle out of a life, but
you can't make a life out of a lifestyle. So
I know that when I'm with Paul, once in a while,
I want to take a picture of us and look cute,
or we're doing something funny, but like that takes it takes,
it takes something away from our relationship. I like in
that moment. You know, it's a little bit of like

(35:14):
doing a little bit work, a little bit of work.
It's like being on the phone. It's two seconds, and
I so rarely do it. And Paul, you know, once
in a while we do something really funny and then
we later watch it on the story and we laugh
and it has not It doesn't affect our relationship at
all because we're not in a a reality show. And I
literally never post about us, but once in a while
I'll post something. I'll post somewhere. But can you get
a picture of me? Because the girl does our social

(35:34):
said she wants to get a picture of me in
a bathing suit. This weekend or it's fourth of July
or whatever, and I'll like say it like that because
I'll feel like a real freaking loser because it's not
something i want to be doing. But once in a
while I'll do that and I'll feel a little cheaper
as a result of it, you know. And so there's
no way that people who are posting so much about
their relationship and showing so much about their relationship and

(35:57):
posing so much about the relationship, there is no way
you can successfully do that and nurture their relationship. I
do not give a ship. Like Harrison Ford and Clista Flockhart,
they're in a good relationship. They went away. They're like
they're not looking for it. There's so many people even
like Blake Blake Lyiley and Ryan Reynolds, they do they
have like their goals because they do it in like

(36:17):
a comedic way with each other and like they're bantering
and you can tell they enjoy it. But they're not
flaunting their relationship, you know, and we and we just
believe it because we just know that it seems like authentic.
That's not flaunting, that's sharing. The difference between sharing and flaunting,
I think, like I would put like dak Shepherd and
Kristen in that same like sharing but not flaunting. There's

(36:38):
some people that do it that way. I feel like
even Michelle Gellar Sarah Michelle Geller. Um. So anyway I
think sharing is it means sharing is a means to
possibly having a successful relationship while showing everybody what is
going on, but flaunting, I feel like we'll definitely do damage.
And it also means it's like someone who doesn't really

(36:58):
have money showing everything they have, like it's showing so
much something's missing. That was really fun, that was different
because it was really liberating. And it's just this is
my place to get things out. Honestly, I just I'm
missing that vehicle and that outlet in my life. So

(37:19):
let me know how you think this went and if
you want me to do more of these, because I
enjoy it. It's just very freeing um and I want
to hear what you think, so please rate, review and subscribe.
Thank you so much,
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