April 19, 2021 • 33 mins
Thanks to TV, Kelly is usually in our living room, not the other way around. During this hilarious and intimate visit at the gorgeous apartment she and Mark share with their three kids, we found out who’s the old-fashioned one, who’s the jealous type and who threw a wedding ring out the window.
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Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Pushkin. Hi, I'm Phil Donahue and I'm Marlow Thomas, and
we're going on a series of double dates to find
out what makes a marriage last. It was a beautiful
(00:40):
summer afternoon the day we took a short walk to
the home of Kelly Rippa and Mark Hansuelos on Manhattan's
East Side. Having arrived at their four story brownstone, we
got to experience firsthand what countless audiences have seen on
the small screen, this couple's funny, playful, and truly affectionate
connection to each other. They showed us into a very
(01:04):
proper living room, where we sat across from each other
at a table filled with goodies. They look so young,
it's hard to believe they're old enough to have been
together twenty five years. I've read some bits and pieces
about them through the years, so I was looking forward
to filling in their story. We met when we were
really young, twenty four And what about you? Did you
(01:26):
have a place there? Yeah? I was living on my
own by that point, I had you know, I hadn't
had roommates in a couple of years. I was living
in my own apartment and you were kind of you
had a steady job, yeah. I was on a soap opera.
I was on All My Children. That's where I met Mark.
I a screen test at him. Oh yeah, you were
in the screen test. Yeah. Yeah. I met him the
day before the screen test, but I had seen his
(01:49):
picture before. The castle director she said, I think I
found our guy. She said, he's green, he's never done anything,
and he's in Tampa, Florida. And I was like, you're kidding.
And she shows me this picture and I thought to myself,
I am dad, I'm dazzled. I am dazzled by this person.
(02:13):
And I don't get dazzled. A headshot is a headshot.
I mean, how many headshots have we all seen. It
wasn't a particularly good headshot either. I was dazzled, dazzling
and so and so. They brought him in a day
early because he had never done a screen test before.
I had curlers in my hair. I hadn't been in
(02:34):
makeup yet. I looked like a disaster. A pimple coming
up on my cover covered it was. It was covered
up with like medicine, you know. It was like a
toothpaste or something on the pimple. And I walked into
the room and there was the head shot. Well you will.
You dazzled when you met her, of course, but I
don't know. I was such. I was such such. You know,
(02:58):
you go from living in Tampa getting off a plane
and then you're screen testing for a job. It's going
to change your life. I was, I was, you know,
my head was spinning with I can't believe this is happening.
Are you? Well? You and Tampa because your family lived
in town. Yeah, they lived in Tampa. And I finished
up my last two years of college in Tampa at
South Florida. And your and your dad is Spanish, and
(03:19):
your mom's Italian Mexican Italian Mexican Italian, And what do
you I'm Italian both of my parents. You're kidding, No,
my mom is her. My mom's dad was Irish. So
I think that's where I get my ear brom. I
think that's a great Yeah, it's a good comma, I
really think so. Yeah. He always says that Italians and
I respect the best. Yeah, And I don't know why
(03:41):
I say that. I can't prove it, no, but I
agree with you because I think my parents have I mean,
speaking about marriages, our between our parents, our parents have
been married over one hundred and ten years, one hundred
and twenty years, like our parents have been. So you
saw really good marriages. Yeah. Do you think that's helped
(04:03):
figure it out? Yeah? Yes, you try to act with
what your father acted. I can't help it. I can't
help it, but I'm sure I do. That's a great combination.
Nobody dominates. Nobody dominates. I think in certain areas they would.
And what about with you two? It is one if
you do the finances, the one of you do something
else Mark does. Mark is really the financial planner, and
(04:23):
Mark is responsible for every good financial thing that's ever
happened to us. I don't I can't think of anything
bad that you've done, really, I mean financially. Finally, he's
really got like that is a thing that I said
to him. Remember when we first met. I said to him,
I've never met an actor that's good at math. And
he said, I'm a terrible actor. I'm not that's really
(04:50):
good at math. Yeah. So I do kind of take
that part of the role here, and she makes the
home a home, Like every holiday, we would have nothing
if it was up to me. It's funny because I
think of us as so progressive, as a couple, I
always think of us like sort of politically progressive, if
we're more progressive people, and yet when it comes to
(05:12):
our own family and our marriages and our roles, I
think of us very traditional and almost old fashioned in
our roles because because why because he's sort of you know,
I He's made it so that I've never had to
like leave home to work, like I've been able to
raise my kids here in this city, in the nest
(05:33):
and maintain. And he's always been willing to travel and
go to a set and go off here, and sometimes
he's had to go live in another country to work
on a set over there, and he's never like some
would say, you made this sacrifice. No, but I mean,
you know, traveling is hard, and like being away from
home is hard, and all of that is like sometimes
(05:53):
he would miss milestones for the kids, and I know
that was hard for him, and he made it so
that I could I didn't have to worry. Did make
it because we were agonizing who are we? What are
we going to be? And this the talk show opportunity
came up and he's like, you know, I think I
think you should do it. It seemed so out of
(06:14):
my depth, and not in my wheelhouse, and not what
I was used to. And he said, you know, I
think it will allow you to do the things that
you've always wanted to do, which was really I wanted
to raise my kids. I didn't want to have them
and never get to see them. And the talk show
(06:35):
afforded me this opportunity where I would work in the morning,
early in the morning, and then I would have the
rest of the day to take them to their activities
or be there and watch the ballet recital and do
all of those things. And so in that way, we're
very traditional. You know. He made those sacrifices and then
and then, but I think, you know, he wouldn't know
(06:57):
how to find a ballet class. He wouldn't know how
to go about signing the kids up for religion classes
like he wouldn't know how to do it. I don't
remember how people's birthdays. He remembers every single person's birthday
in our family, and they are taking care of every
single time without fail um. She reminds me to make calls,
call your your dad's birthday, you have to call. I mean,
she's you're you remind me of all that stuff. But
(07:19):
tell Marlow unfilled the conversation you were having with me today,
because going back to what you were saying about learning
from your dad, I think I was maybe like um,
around twenty years old, and I just moved back home
and I had a horrible breakup, and I was, you know,
and we talked a lot. We spent a lot of
time together, you know, driving to soccer practice. He take me,
(07:41):
you know, he spent We spent a lot of good
time together. And I was saying, I this is it.
I'm never going to get in a relationship again. I'm
never I don't want to get married, I don't want
to have kids. I'm just gonna be by myself, you know.
And so he said to me, so listen, he was,
I know you're gonna be successful, and not being able
to share that with someone is very sad. You're gonna
(08:01):
want to share it with someone, you know. There's nothing
more sad than an older guide by himself, right, And
I and I and I didn't believe him. I go, yeah, yeah,
all right, well I'll be by myself. And I walked
away and I didn't believe it. And then I believed it.
All my girlfriends got married. It was a bride maid
a million times, and I thought, quod, great, I'm going
to be an actress. I'm free. I'm going to London
(08:23):
live for a year and do a play. I'm gonna
do this, I'm gonna do that. You know. It just
wasn't for me. And then I met mister blue Eyes
here and it was like like like, I can't picture
the two of you without each other. Like to me,
it's like, you know, it's like the best. Yeah, you
really are peanut butter and Jelly. I remember I was
(08:44):
having a very funny conversation because Kelly was very independent
and lived in the city for about five or six
years before I got there, and she was, you know,
on her own and she did her thing. And then
when I came in. You know, I I am a
traditional guy like I you know, I feel like there
are certain roles. It's hard to explain exactly what those
(09:06):
roles are. But we had a conversation where I said, hey, listen,
there's really only a room for one man in this relationship.
It's going to be and it's gonna be me. I
think we were arguing over where we were going on vacation.
It was something really it was a luxurious problem to have.
And I said to him, I am a woman of
this generation, and I've been on my own for a
(09:29):
long time. Like I've I've not answered, I've not answered
to my parents, right, So I'm a I'm a grown woman,
and so you're gonna have to forgive me if it
takes me a minute to keep up with the clock
that you're rolling back before my you know, my, I
knew what it was about, but we laugh about it now.
It was kind of funny. It was a great conversation.
(09:52):
What I will say, though, is I've watched Mark with
our daughter and the way you raise her to never
take to never take a backseat position to any person
that she dates, any man that she did. It's like,
it's very it's funny. The evolution of you is kind
(10:13):
of fascinating. When we first got married, I think Mark
felt like he rushed into it and maybe he made
a mistake and maybe he was regretting it. And he
took my wedding ring and threw it out the window.
Who and and and then he turned around and I said,
I'm still here, because I really think he thought in
that moment that somehow I would just go and like
(10:35):
vanish or evaporate. And I was like, now what and
you know, and I think it was like that moment
of oh my gosh, she is still here and I
just did that horrible thing and she's still here and
she doesn't really seem that rattled, right if I'm getting
into your head in the moment that it was a
(10:57):
big bold move. And I think he was like, yeah,
but that's great, but that but that's people who are
getting married or twenty five years old. That's right. Yeah,
you know, you don't do that when you're fifty two exact,
And oh you don't. And I think hope that we don't.
But that was the thing. It was like I looked
at him and I said, you know, um, I get it,
(11:19):
Like I get it, I'm young and married. I'm scared too,
Like I get it, this is forever. I'm I'm with you.
Now we have to go find that ring. I mean,
but that was like that to me, is like that's
a defining moment. I'm sure, and I'm sure there are
(11:42):
a lot of people that would have said I'm done.
I'm done. That is outrageous. That is crazy behavior. Um,
and I understood where it was coming from. It was
like coming from a place of terror and genuine fear
and oh my god, I have to spend the rest
of my life with this woman who does not value time,
(12:03):
who is chronically late. Let me ask you this, what's
the biggest challenge you think you've ever faced as a couple,
Because what's important about that is how do you come
back from it? You know? How do we get through
trying moments? Yeah, or something? It's interesting, Um, I think
that one of us remains extremely calm. Is it always
(12:25):
the same one? Nope, Nope, It depends on the situation,
depends on it. If it's happening to us together, our
fa we have got a moment like, oh my god,
one of us stays calm, the other one freaks out. Um,
and we get through it. I'm talking like family cancer
when his mom when his mom was diagnosed with breast cancer,
(12:45):
and it was like a scary time for us and
it was you and then my and my mom got
cancer and my dad had heart surgery and our parents
were falling like dominoes and thank god they're all fine.
Now what did you do with this? Is so great
because this is what everybody goes right. PA's older than
us right of course deal with it. So how did
(13:07):
you help each other? How did you you know, like
did you get the news on the phone and then
what did the other one? Do you know? So do
you want to hear something really funny? My mom. We
were with my mom when she was diagnosed, and Mark
and my mom came home from the doctor. It was
at ten thirty in the morning. I had just had
(13:31):
my son, Michael, who is now twenty two years old. Um,
I think I was still on maternity leave, which is
why I was home and you guys, and it was
I think ten ten thirty am, ten am. They opened
a bottle of scotch. We had never like, we kept
a bottle of scotch, just sort of like in case
(13:51):
anybody ever asked for a Scotch, which we had never
nobody ever said your Scott, you know, we didn't. It
was in case anybody successful ever came over, we would
offer them scott. And they opened a bottle of scotch.
And they both drank like a like a glass a
tumbler of scotch. And I'd never see my mom drank.
And I was and I was and I was sobbing,
(14:13):
and I was sobbing. And I was sobbing, and and
and I called, and I called my sister, and my
sister said, I can't talk Dad. Um is uh. Dad
collapsed and I'm on my way to the hospital. He
needs a bypass surgery. Yeah. And then the same day,
(14:34):
same day, It's the same exact day, and I said
to Mark, Oh, my god, we are cursed. We have
to get a priest here. I mean, we have to
bless we have to live, We need holy water, we
have to burn candles. Like I just couldn't believe it.
I was on the scene. And then when my mom
was fighting cancer, Kelly, she took her, She took her
(14:57):
into our home and she lived with us for seven
to eight months. Yeah. Well, yeah, a lot. It was
a you know, it was a lot ye problem. And
she would go to the chemo with her and the
radiation with her and bathed her. I owe it to
my parents and to his mom. I owe it to
them to take care of them the way they've taken
(15:20):
care of us. I don't want to screw it up.
I don't want to give them sub substandard care because
they raised us, so they raised us in a way
that is like we are my parents and raise you.
But and you did and does it and she does
it I mean dad, Yeah, and my dad comes to
New York for his heart doctor and she goes with
(15:42):
him and sits there and takes notes for him and
accompanies him. I mean, it's swore. Are you when she's
doing that. I'm in Vancouver working, Oh, typically right, I'm
not here. But she does it. She's like, I'm going,
that's great, But that bespeaks a wonderful testament to your folks.
My mom gave me the best advice. She said, be
(16:04):
good to your mother in law. She said, you treat
your mother in law the way you would treat me,
but nicer. We'll have more. After a quick break, we're
(16:31):
back to our conversation with Kelly Rippa and Mark Unsuelos.
They seem so perfectly aligned. Marlow naturally wanted to know
how do they fight? How you fight is something to learn.
I mean, we had to learn how to fight. I
am an immediate thing. I'm a firecracker that goes off
right now. Yeah. He would simmer for a while and
(16:54):
then explode, so we didn't. It was a while for
us to be able to align our temperaments. To you
have to feel safe, right, Yeah, you have to. You
have to feel safe in the fight. That know that,
you know, I realize that I am Phil and Marlowe.
I'm like, I simmer and then I explode. I do.
(17:15):
I Sometimes I liken it to a Kama Kazi mission.
Every now and then you gotta yeah, like you know what,
I'm gonna We're gonna fight. Yeah, and I'm going to
let's get let's go, let's let's really have a blowout.
And I know I'm gonna lose what And because she's
always right, oh yeah, where do you stay married? That's great?
And I know I'm gonna have to apologize. Yeah, because
(17:38):
you will tend to rise above it. Yeah. You know.
It's like when when I go low, he'll go high. Um. Yeah,
and then I will somehow try to get it a
shovel and I'll try to dig myself. I'll try to
dig lower and he's like, so he still stays he
really do you really have like maintained? Oh good, you
know that. I've always know I admire it about you.
(17:59):
It's like not every now and then I'm gonna You're
gonna blow Yeah. Sometimes I'll be amazed at like what
he's willing to like die on what cross he's will
be right? And I go that, really, I mean like,
I'll fall asleep in the middle of some Netflix series
and I know it's not about Netflix, but the argument
(18:19):
has been I guess it's more of a fill thing.
It must have been simmering in there for quite some time,
you know, And he'll say, well, I've been waiting to
watch this with you. I've been in Canada and I
promised you I wouldn't watch it, and I've been waiting
to watch it now you're asleep. But I know it's
really not about that. It's probably about seven arguments ago,
where I got where I got my way or whatever.
(18:42):
You know, I've we've had that argument as well. And
or I've not done something as they wanted to do
it with Phil and he'll fall asleep, or he'll not
want to go and as you promised, or whatever, And
it actually hurts my feelings because I had built it
up in my mind. But this is something we're going
to share together. And then it's then I feel like, well,
(19:05):
I lost this thing. I thought I was gonna Hey,
I was like having a live stream Sunday. I didn't
get you know, right, isn't that kind of what It's
a It's a disappointment, that's what I feel. What do
they say? Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, you know.
Sometimes it just is. It's as simple as that he
wanted to share it with you. He's been waiting to
share it with you, and you're bombed out, so the
(19:26):
thing is not quite as much fun as it was.
That kind of Yeah, were you always comfortable sharing feelings
with each other? That's one of you have to teach
the other how to do that. Interesting. I was just
no matter what he told me, I used to have
a conversation with myself, no matter what he's about to say,
(19:47):
don't have any expression on your face, because if you
have an expression, he might clam up and he might
feel ashamed of whatever he's told you or judged in
some way. So I would be very mindful to not
have any expression at all, no matter what he said.
The expression I was always, you know, it was. It
was before I used to get BOTI, before I got botox,
(20:10):
you know, it was like before I don't even know
if botox existed at the time, but I mastered the
art of having no expression that was a great accommodation. Yeah,
that's what I call an accommodation. It's a good yeah,
because you don't want the person to think that there
are being judged. You want your spouse to feel safe
and know that in you they have a confidant, somebody
(20:31):
that they can trust, somebody that's like going to walk
through the fire with them, whatever it is. And ps.
Anytime he had told me something, what I had built
up in my mind, like anytime he would say I
have to tell you something, I want you to get upset,
what my brain went to was so dark and crazy.
I would say, he's about to tell me that he's
(20:53):
disposed of a body. Once but it was always like
something so benign. What do you think is the difference
between your marriage and other friends marriages? Well, we have
a lot like we have. I have to say my
friend group, I have a lot of happily married friends.
And I think that that is a great thing because
I think if you don't um, I think that that
(21:15):
can we can really spread like the unhappiness. And I agree.
And there are people like there were people in our lives,
like early on in our friendship circles that would make
us unhappy and we would never figure out like quite
why we would become unhappy around these people, and we
realized they were in an unhappy marriage, and it was
(21:36):
like the stress of feeling their unhappiness would somehow tap
into our souls almost because would get into an argument
as soon as we would leave their home or leave
the dinner table at the restaurant. And it's not like
us to sort of like have a perfectly lovely evening
and then fight out the way home. And we realized
(21:59):
we were like we were wearing their energy when things
aren't going well, which that happens the time. How do
you reset, well, You think about what you did wrong,
and then when you talk about it and you apologize
for it. You apologize even if you feel like you've
done nothing wrong. I think you owe it to yourself
(22:21):
and to your spouse to put yourself in the other
person's position and see it from their perspective. Like if
we're at a dinner party, homemak a comment and maybe
it's something that embarrassed me, but from his point of view,
it was just funny and it got a laugh or whatever,
And from my point of view, I'm embarrassed it hurt
(22:44):
my feelings, right, And I think that that's something that
Mark is really good about. Instead of like getting defensive,
he'll say, you know, I didn't think that that would
hurt your feelings. I'm so sorry. I did not mean
to embarrass you, or I see what you mean, Like
that's I think that's like something that's a very kind
simple gesture. That's one of the examples of I finally
(23:06):
am getting marriage. I think that's a good example of
because I didn't used to do that, I'd get really defensive, right,
I'd get really defensive about it. I got you know,
I say everything wrong, like you know, or if I
did apologize, I'd be like, I'm sorry if you're upset
that I said that. Yeah, like an idiot, I would
think that was smart, a smart thing to say somebody else.
(23:26):
One of our other couples said that anybody who says
I'm sorry if that upset you was just full of shit. Right.
They don't mean it all they're all they're doing is saying,
you know, you are painting the ass you're feeling sorry upset.
But a real i'm sorry is I'm sorry. I said
that I'm sorry if it upset, right, And anytime you're
coming from a place of I'm so selfless, i am
(23:50):
sacrificing so much. Yeah, that is narcissistic thinking. Yeah, you
really have to think. And sometimes I'll like I'll come
up turn on and go, Okay, I'm totally looking for
some um, some attention, and I'm being completely selfish right now,
but I need I need some attention. I'll I'll, I'll
call myself out and say, I know this is going
to sound crazy, but I just need you to like
(24:11):
humor me for a minute. And she does. If you
can tell your spouse what you need in the moment,
it is the most helpful thing because, by the way,
married people or people looking to get married, nobody's a
psychic marriage is like a roller coaster ride, right, it
really is. And there's these high highs and you're like, oh,
this is great, that's tickling in my stomach, feels amazing,
(24:33):
and then you and then you like sync down to
the depths and you go through things and you're scared.
We've often said like, if we had gotten divorced, like
so many times over things that at the time seemed
like a huge deal, we would have missed out on
so much life and incredible moments and fun and some
(24:58):
of the reasons that we are enjoying like our adult
lives now is like when all of our friends were
going out and like out on the town and taking
impromptu trips to tropical islands. We had small babies and toddlers,
and we were tired and exhausted, and we would be
(25:18):
sometimes short with each other, not really kind to each other,
and we were not like taking the time for each other,
and that could have easily frayed our marriage, and we
could have easily turned on each other. But instead it's
sort of we were just fortunate enough and we listened
to each other just enough. I used to leave the
(25:40):
lid off the toothpaste, which drove him crazy, and I
realized I was starting to do it deliberately to drive
him crazy. And then one day I said, Okay, are
we going to have a nice marriage? Are we going
to be dramatic all the time? Put the fucking lid on.
Put the lid on the toothpaste, you said yourself, yes,
(26:02):
put it on, Kelly, it's not rocket science. Put the
just twisted on. You're you're leaving it off. Deliver I was.
I remember the moment I had that conversation in my
own head where I said, go back and put that on,
because it's going to it's going to dictate what kind
(26:22):
of a day you have. You're going to either have
a good day or a bad day by that gesture.
When I think about some of the things that we've
argued about in our life and where we've like, that's it,
We're getting divorced. And and he's always like he last,
he laughs at me whenever I said that, He's like, oh, okay,
(26:43):
we're getting Okay, I'll see you at the divorce court.
So what you're saying is when you go off like that,
or when you did go yeah like that, he was
the one that would sort of say, oh, come on, yeah,
come down, you're the colm down, you're the peacemaker. Yeah yeah,
I think So it's those things that I find, like
(27:03):
when we've settled into our like our happy place where
we are now so many years later, decades later, right,
I find that the fact that I autonomously clean up
after myself, I am on time for him. I do
(27:26):
it for him, but I've also done it for myself now, right,
And he does things that I know didn't always come
naturally to him. But he does it now, like you
figured out that I love guardenias and they always come.
There's never any reason, they just they show up once
(27:48):
a week. He sends them to me just to let
me know that he's thinking of me. And I remember
the first time you sent them to me. I was
I just thought that I had I thought he was
about to tell me he had a secret other family
because I thought, oh, well, I said, these guardenias are
so extraordinary. He's going to tell me he's had a
(28:10):
child out of wedlocked during our marriage. That's the one
thing we didn't touch on, and it is jealousy. I mean,
you're both so frigging good looking. I don't have a
jealous bone in my body, which is which is good.
But he can be jealous, which is it's I'm always
so sort of um, I'm shocked. I'm sort of shocked
(28:32):
by it because I'm somebody that I would not consider
that somebody would get jealous about. You know. I'm like,
jealousy is not really so much about what the other
person does. Yeah, I get your own thing and it
feels horrible. Are you both jealous? Well? I am, yeah. Yeah.
(28:53):
She did a movie with Chris Gristrafferson. Oh wow, oh wow.
So in the middle of the night, I believe this.
So I'm sound asleep and I hear this banging on
the door. I'm thinking about, Oh no, Christ, I'm gonna
be up like in an hour, you know, like four
thirty or something whatever it was. And I get opened
(29:14):
the door and there's Phil. And the minute I saw him,
I thought, he thinks, Chris Christofferson's here, that's that he
would talk. I opened the door, I said, come in.
I was so mad at him because I have I
had like another full hour right now. You know, I
can't go to see first all. I'm aggravated that he
(29:34):
would think that I aggravated. And I'm excited and here
and you're here, and and he walks in, he goes,
I just you know, I just missed you. Wait so
wait Phil, Okay, so let's get into it quickly. What if,
oh god, what if you come to the door and
Chris Christofferson is there? What happens? Is there a fistfight?
(29:58):
What happens? I would probably walk out? Yeah, I think
you would run. I think I would have never seen
you again. Yeah wow, yeah, you see, with Mark, there
would be crimes scene tape. There would be like police
barricades and there'd be a whole right, yeah, yeah, because
you you did that a few times here I would
(30:18):
show up, he would show up, and and I remember
one time I looked at him and I said, aren't
you tired of catching me here actually doing what I'm
saying I'm doing. I was doing a show in Boston,
and there's no we were We didn't have cell phones
at the time, right, And I couldn't get ahold of
her all day, and I got a really bad feeling,
(30:39):
and so yeah, it's horrible. And so unfortunately there are
flights to New York from Boston every hour, and I
got her finally on the you know how they used
to have this on the on the plane, and so
she said, you sound funny. I'm like, nah, you sound fine.
I guess it's just the phone. He said, what are
you doing tonight? It was a Friday night. Were you
married or not married? We're married. What are you doing tonight?
(31:02):
I said, believe it or not, I'm cleaning the toilets.
I was like, I was cleaning. So he for some
reason thought that sounded very fishing. You didn't tell you
on the plane. No, he wanted to catch me love this.
It's like I came in very much like, hey, what's
going on? So happy to see me? No, he tells
(31:24):
the doorman. He goes tell the call up to the
apartment and tell her that there's a flower delivery. And
and I was like a flower delivery. And I'm so
excited because I'm thinking, oh my gosh, he's sending me flowers.
This is so nice. And I'm not kidding. I have
like a Johnny mop in one hand. I'm wearing a bathrobe.
(31:45):
I am. I am a disaster. I'm not how I
want my husband to see me when he gets home
from like his movie set. And I opened the door
and it's him and he comes in. He doesn't even
say hello to me. He's looking for something and I go, right,
I go, what do you? And I'm still looking for
the flower guy. I was like, there's a guy coming flowers.
(32:06):
It's a horrible feeling. It's Oh, I'm less I wouldn't
you say I'm less jealous these days? Oh my gosh. Yes,
there's no such thing as this perfect marriage. It's the
crazy stuff that you get through together that makes it
all the worthwhile. That's Kelly RiPP and Marknzuelos. It's great
(32:27):
how they still seem to surprise each other. Well, it'd
be pretty boring if there were no surprises. That's why
I married you. Until next time. I'm Phil Donna here
and I'm Marlo Thomas. Anyway, I know you're leaving tomorrow.
You must be having a romantic night tonight. So no,
not having a romantic night. But we're done to one Kid,
(32:49):
double day. There's a production of Pushkin Industries. The show
was created by US and produced by Sarah Lily. Michael
Bahari is associate producer. Musical adaptations of It Had to
Be You by Cellwagon, Simfinette, Marlo and I are executive
producers along with Me and Lobell and Letal Molad from Pushkin.
(33:12):
Special thanks to Jacob Wiseburg, Malcolm Gladwell, Heather Faine, John Snars,
Carly Migliori, Eric Sandler, Emily Rosdek, Jason Gambrel, Paul Williams,
and Bruce Kluger. If you like our show, please remember
to share, rate, and review. Thanks for listening.
Pushkin. Hi, I'm Phil Donahue and I'm Marlow Thomas, and
we're going on a series of double dates to find
out what makes a marriage last. It was a beautiful
(00:40):
summer afternoon the day we took a short walk to
the home of Kelly Rippa and Mark Hansuelos on Manhattan's
East Side. Having arrived at their four story brownstone, we
got to experience firsthand what countless audiences have seen on
the small screen, this couple's funny, playful, and truly affectionate
connection to each other. They showed us into a very
(01:04):
proper living room, where we sat across from each other
at a table filled with goodies. They look so young,
it's hard to believe they're old enough to have been
together twenty five years. I've read some bits and pieces
about them through the years, so I was looking forward
to filling in their story. We met when we were
really young, twenty four And what about you? Did you
(01:26):
have a place there? Yeah? I was living on my
own by that point, I had you know, I hadn't
had roommates in a couple of years. I was living
in my own apartment and you were kind of you
had a steady job, yeah. I was on a soap opera.
I was on All My Children. That's where I met Mark.
I a screen test at him. Oh yeah, you were
in the screen test. Yeah. Yeah. I met him the
day before the screen test, but I had seen his
(01:49):
picture before. The castle director she said, I think I
found our guy. She said, he's green, he's never done anything,
and he's in Tampa, Florida. And I was like, you're kidding.
And she shows me this picture and I thought to myself,
I am dad, I'm dazzled. I am dazzled by this person.
(02:13):
And I don't get dazzled. A headshot is a headshot.
I mean, how many headshots have we all seen. It
wasn't a particularly good headshot either. I was dazzled, dazzling
and so and so. They brought him in a day
early because he had never done a screen test before.
I had curlers in my hair. I hadn't been in
(02:34):
makeup yet. I looked like a disaster. A pimple coming
up on my cover covered it was. It was covered
up with like medicine, you know. It was like a
toothpaste or something on the pimple. And I walked into
the room and there was the head shot. Well you will.
You dazzled when you met her, of course, but I
don't know. I was such. I was such such. You know,
(02:58):
you go from living in Tampa getting off a plane
and then you're screen testing for a job. It's going
to change your life. I was, I was, you know,
my head was spinning with I can't believe this is happening.
Are you? Well? You and Tampa because your family lived
in town. Yeah, they lived in Tampa. And I finished
up my last two years of college in Tampa at
South Florida. And your and your dad is Spanish, and
(03:19):
your mom's Italian Mexican Italian Mexican Italian, And what do
you I'm Italian both of my parents. You're kidding, No,
my mom is her. My mom's dad was Irish. So
I think that's where I get my ear brom. I
think that's a great Yeah, it's a good comma, I
really think so. Yeah. He always says that Italians and
I respect the best. Yeah, And I don't know why
(03:41):
I say that. I can't prove it, no, but I
agree with you because I think my parents have I mean,
speaking about marriages, our between our parents, our parents have
been married over one hundred and ten years, one hundred
and twenty years, like our parents have been. So you
saw really good marriages. Yeah. Do you think that's helped
(04:03):
figure it out? Yeah? Yes, you try to act with
what your father acted. I can't help it. I can't
help it, but I'm sure I do. That's a great combination.
Nobody dominates. Nobody dominates. I think in certain areas they would.
And what about with you two? It is one if
you do the finances, the one of you do something
else Mark does. Mark is really the financial planner, and
(04:23):
Mark is responsible for every good financial thing that's ever
happened to us. I don't I can't think of anything
bad that you've done, really, I mean financially. Finally, he's
really got like that is a thing that I said
to him. Remember when we first met. I said to him,
I've never met an actor that's good at math. And
he said, I'm a terrible actor. I'm not that's really
(04:50):
good at math. Yeah. So I do kind of take
that part of the role here, and she makes the
home a home, Like every holiday, we would have nothing
if it was up to me. It's funny because I
think of us as so progressive, as a couple, I
always think of us like sort of politically progressive, if
we're more progressive people, and yet when it comes to
(05:12):
our own family and our marriages and our roles, I
think of us very traditional and almost old fashioned in
our roles because because why because he's sort of you know,
I He's made it so that I've never had to
like leave home to work, like I've been able to
raise my kids here in this city, in the nest
(05:33):
and maintain. And he's always been willing to travel and
go to a set and go off here, and sometimes
he's had to go live in another country to work
on a set over there, and he's never like some
would say, you made this sacrifice. No, but I mean,
you know, traveling is hard, and like being away from
home is hard, and all of that is like sometimes
(05:53):
he would miss milestones for the kids, and I know
that was hard for him, and he made it so
that I could I didn't have to worry. Did make
it because we were agonizing who are we? What are
we going to be? And this the talk show opportunity
came up and he's like, you know, I think I
think you should do it. It seemed so out of
(06:14):
my depth, and not in my wheelhouse, and not what
I was used to. And he said, you know, I
think it will allow you to do the things that
you've always wanted to do, which was really I wanted
to raise my kids. I didn't want to have them
and never get to see them. And the talk show
(06:35):
afforded me this opportunity where I would work in the morning,
early in the morning, and then I would have the
rest of the day to take them to their activities
or be there and watch the ballet recital and do
all of those things. And so in that way, we're
very traditional. You know. He made those sacrifices and then
and then, but I think, you know, he wouldn't know
(06:57):
how to find a ballet class. He wouldn't know how
to go about signing the kids up for religion classes
like he wouldn't know how to do it. I don't
remember how people's birthdays. He remembers every single person's birthday
in our family, and they are taking care of every
single time without fail um. She reminds me to make calls,
call your your dad's birthday, you have to call. I mean,
she's you're you remind me of all that stuff. But
(07:19):
tell Marlow unfilled the conversation you were having with me today,
because going back to what you were saying about learning
from your dad, I think I was maybe like um,
around twenty years old, and I just moved back home
and I had a horrible breakup, and I was, you know,
and we talked a lot. We spent a lot of
time together, you know, driving to soccer practice. He take me,
(07:41):
you know, he spent We spent a lot of good
time together. And I was saying, I this is it.
I'm never going to get in a relationship again. I'm
never I don't want to get married, I don't want
to have kids. I'm just gonna be by myself, you know.
And so he said to me, so listen, he was,
I know you're gonna be successful, and not being able
to share that with someone is very sad. You're gonna
(08:01):
want to share it with someone, you know. There's nothing
more sad than an older guide by himself, right, And
I and I and I didn't believe him. I go, yeah, yeah,
all right, well I'll be by myself. And I walked
away and I didn't believe it. And then I believed it.
All my girlfriends got married. It was a bride maid
a million times, and I thought, quod, great, I'm going
to be an actress. I'm free. I'm going to London
(08:23):
live for a year and do a play. I'm gonna
do this, I'm gonna do that. You know. It just
wasn't for me. And then I met mister blue Eyes
here and it was like like like, I can't picture
the two of you without each other. Like to me,
it's like, you know, it's like the best. Yeah, you
really are peanut butter and Jelly. I remember I was
(08:44):
having a very funny conversation because Kelly was very independent
and lived in the city for about five or six
years before I got there, and she was, you know,
on her own and she did her thing. And then
when I came in. You know, I I am a
traditional guy like I you know, I feel like there
are certain roles. It's hard to explain exactly what those
(09:06):
roles are. But we had a conversation where I said, hey, listen,
there's really only a room for one man in this relationship.
It's going to be and it's gonna be me. I
think we were arguing over where we were going on vacation.
It was something really it was a luxurious problem to have.
And I said to him, I am a woman of
this generation, and I've been on my own for a
(09:29):
long time. Like I've I've not answered, I've not answered
to my parents, right, So I'm a I'm a grown woman,
and so you're gonna have to forgive me if it
takes me a minute to keep up with the clock
that you're rolling back before my you know, my, I
knew what it was about, but we laugh about it now.
It was kind of funny. It was a great conversation.
(09:52):
What I will say, though, is I've watched Mark with
our daughter and the way you raise her to never
take to never take a backseat position to any person
that she dates, any man that she did. It's like,
it's very it's funny. The evolution of you is kind
(10:13):
of fascinating. When we first got married, I think Mark
felt like he rushed into it and maybe he made
a mistake and maybe he was regretting it. And he
took my wedding ring and threw it out the window.
Who and and and then he turned around and I said,
I'm still here, because I really think he thought in
that moment that somehow I would just go and like
(10:35):
vanish or evaporate. And I was like, now what and
you know, and I think it was like that moment
of oh my gosh, she is still here and I
just did that horrible thing and she's still here and
she doesn't really seem that rattled, right if I'm getting
into your head in the moment that it was a
(10:57):
big bold move. And I think he was like, yeah,
but that's great, but that but that's people who are
getting married or twenty five years old. That's right. Yeah,
you know, you don't do that when you're fifty two exact,
And oh you don't. And I think hope that we don't.
But that was the thing. It was like I looked
at him and I said, you know, um, I get it,
(11:19):
Like I get it, I'm young and married. I'm scared too,
Like I get it, this is forever. I'm I'm with you.
Now we have to go find that ring. I mean,
but that was like that to me, is like that's
a defining moment. I'm sure, and I'm sure there are
(11:42):
a lot of people that would have said I'm done.
I'm done. That is outrageous. That is crazy behavior. Um,
and I understood where it was coming from. It was
like coming from a place of terror and genuine fear
and oh my god, I have to spend the rest
of my life with this woman who does not value time,
(12:03):
who is chronically late. Let me ask you this, what's
the biggest challenge you think you've ever faced as a couple,
Because what's important about that is how do you come
back from it? You know? How do we get through
trying moments? Yeah, or something? It's interesting, Um, I think
that one of us remains extremely calm. Is it always
(12:25):
the same one? Nope, Nope, It depends on the situation,
depends on it. If it's happening to us together, our
fa we have got a moment like, oh my god,
one of us stays calm, the other one freaks out. Um,
and we get through it. I'm talking like family cancer
when his mom when his mom was diagnosed with breast cancer,
(12:45):
and it was like a scary time for us and
it was you and then my and my mom got
cancer and my dad had heart surgery and our parents
were falling like dominoes and thank god they're all fine.
Now what did you do with this? Is so great
because this is what everybody goes right. PA's older than
us right of course deal with it. So how did
(13:07):
you help each other? How did you you know, like
did you get the news on the phone and then
what did the other one? Do you know? So do
you want to hear something really funny? My mom. We
were with my mom when she was diagnosed, and Mark
and my mom came home from the doctor. It was
at ten thirty in the morning. I had just had
(13:31):
my son, Michael, who is now twenty two years old. Um,
I think I was still on maternity leave, which is
why I was home and you guys, and it was
I think ten ten thirty am, ten am. They opened
a bottle of scotch. We had never like, we kept
a bottle of scotch, just sort of like in case
(13:51):
anybody ever asked for a Scotch, which we had never
nobody ever said your Scott, you know, we didn't. It
was in case anybody successful ever came over, we would
offer them scott. And they opened a bottle of scotch.
And they both drank like a like a glass a
tumbler of scotch. And I'd never see my mom drank.
And I was and I was and I was sobbing,
(14:13):
and I was sobbing. And I was sobbing, and and
and I called, and I called my sister, and my
sister said, I can't talk Dad. Um is uh. Dad
collapsed and I'm on my way to the hospital. He
needs a bypass surgery. Yeah. And then the same day,
(14:34):
same day, It's the same exact day, and I said
to Mark, Oh, my god, we are cursed. We have
to get a priest here. I mean, we have to
bless we have to live, We need holy water, we
have to burn candles. Like I just couldn't believe it.
I was on the scene. And then when my mom
was fighting cancer, Kelly, she took her, She took her
(14:57):
into our home and she lived with us for seven
to eight months. Yeah. Well, yeah, a lot. It was
a you know, it was a lot ye problem. And
she would go to the chemo with her and the
radiation with her and bathed her. I owe it to
my parents and to his mom. I owe it to
them to take care of them the way they've taken
(15:20):
care of us. I don't want to screw it up.
I don't want to give them sub substandard care because
they raised us, so they raised us in a way
that is like we are my parents and raise you.
But and you did and does it and she does
it I mean dad, Yeah, and my dad comes to
New York for his heart doctor and she goes with
(15:42):
him and sits there and takes notes for him and
accompanies him. I mean, it's swore. Are you when she's
doing that. I'm in Vancouver working, Oh, typically right, I'm
not here. But she does it. She's like, I'm going,
that's great, But that bespeaks a wonderful testament to your folks.
My mom gave me the best advice. She said, be
(16:04):
good to your mother in law. She said, you treat
your mother in law the way you would treat me,
but nicer. We'll have more. After a quick break, we're
(16:31):
back to our conversation with Kelly Rippa and Mark Unsuelos.
They seem so perfectly aligned. Marlow naturally wanted to know
how do they fight? How you fight is something to learn.
I mean, we had to learn how to fight. I
am an immediate thing. I'm a firecracker that goes off
right now. Yeah. He would simmer for a while and
(16:54):
then explode, so we didn't. It was a while for
us to be able to align our temperaments. To you
have to feel safe, right, Yeah, you have to. You
have to feel safe in the fight. That know that,
you know, I realize that I am Phil and Marlowe.
I'm like, I simmer and then I explode. I do.
(17:15):
I Sometimes I liken it to a Kama Kazi mission.
Every now and then you gotta yeah, like you know what,
I'm gonna We're gonna fight. Yeah, and I'm going to
let's get let's go, let's let's really have a blowout.
And I know I'm gonna lose what And because she's
always right, oh yeah, where do you stay married? That's great?
And I know I'm gonna have to apologize. Yeah, because
(17:38):
you will tend to rise above it. Yeah. You know.
It's like when when I go low, he'll go high. Um. Yeah,
and then I will somehow try to get it a
shovel and I'll try to dig myself. I'll try to
dig lower and he's like, so he still stays he
really do you really have like maintained? Oh good, you
know that. I've always know I admire it about you.
(17:59):
It's like not every now and then I'm gonna You're
gonna blow Yeah. Sometimes I'll be amazed at like what
he's willing to like die on what cross he's will
be right? And I go that, really, I mean like,
I'll fall asleep in the middle of some Netflix series
and I know it's not about Netflix, but the argument
(18:19):
has been I guess it's more of a fill thing.
It must have been simmering in there for quite some time,
you know, And he'll say, well, I've been waiting to
watch this with you. I've been in Canada and I
promised you I wouldn't watch it, and I've been waiting
to watch it now you're asleep. But I know it's
really not about that. It's probably about seven arguments ago,
where I got where I got my way or whatever.
(18:42):
You know, I've we've had that argument as well. And
or I've not done something as they wanted to do
it with Phil and he'll fall asleep, or he'll not
want to go and as you promised, or whatever, And
it actually hurts my feelings because I had built it
up in my mind. But this is something we're going
to share together. And then it's then I feel like, well,
(19:05):
I lost this thing. I thought I was gonna Hey,
I was like having a live stream Sunday. I didn't
get you know, right, isn't that kind of what It's
a It's a disappointment, that's what I feel. What do
they say? Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, you know.
Sometimes it just is. It's as simple as that he
wanted to share it with you. He's been waiting to
share it with you, and you're bombed out, so the
(19:26):
thing is not quite as much fun as it was.
That kind of Yeah, were you always comfortable sharing feelings
with each other? That's one of you have to teach
the other how to do that. Interesting. I was just
no matter what he told me, I used to have
a conversation with myself, no matter what he's about to say,
(19:47):
don't have any expression on your face, because if you
have an expression, he might clam up and he might
feel ashamed of whatever he's told you or judged in
some way. So I would be very mindful to not
have any expression at all, no matter what he said.
The expression I was always, you know, it was. It
was before I used to get BOTI, before I got botox,
(20:10):
you know, it was like before I don't even know
if botox existed at the time, but I mastered the
art of having no expression that was a great accommodation. Yeah,
that's what I call an accommodation. It's a good yeah,
because you don't want the person to think that there
are being judged. You want your spouse to feel safe
and know that in you they have a confidant, somebody
(20:31):
that they can trust, somebody that's like going to walk
through the fire with them, whatever it is. And ps.
Anytime he had told me something, what I had built
up in my mind, like anytime he would say I
have to tell you something, I want you to get upset,
what my brain went to was so dark and crazy.
I would say, he's about to tell me that he's
(20:53):
disposed of a body. Once but it was always like
something so benign. What do you think is the difference
between your marriage and other friends marriages? Well, we have
a lot like we have. I have to say my
friend group, I have a lot of happily married friends.
And I think that that is a great thing because
I think if you don't um, I think that that
(21:15):
can we can really spread like the unhappiness. And I agree.
And there are people like there were people in our lives,
like early on in our friendship circles that would make
us unhappy and we would never figure out like quite
why we would become unhappy around these people, and we
realized they were in an unhappy marriage, and it was
(21:36):
like the stress of feeling their unhappiness would somehow tap
into our souls almost because would get into an argument
as soon as we would leave their home or leave
the dinner table at the restaurant. And it's not like
us to sort of like have a perfectly lovely evening
and then fight out the way home. And we realized
(21:59):
we were like we were wearing their energy when things
aren't going well, which that happens the time. How do
you reset, well, You think about what you did wrong,
and then when you talk about it and you apologize
for it. You apologize even if you feel like you've
done nothing wrong. I think you owe it to yourself
(22:21):
and to your spouse to put yourself in the other
person's position and see it from their perspective. Like if
we're at a dinner party, homemak a comment and maybe
it's something that embarrassed me, but from his point of view,
it was just funny and it got a laugh or whatever,
And from my point of view, I'm embarrassed it hurt
(22:44):
my feelings, right, And I think that that's something that
Mark is really good about. Instead of like getting defensive,
he'll say, you know, I didn't think that that would
hurt your feelings. I'm so sorry. I did not mean
to embarrass you, or I see what you mean, Like
that's I think that's like something that's a very kind
simple gesture. That's one of the examples of I finally
(23:06):
am getting marriage. I think that's a good example of
because I didn't used to do that, I'd get really defensive, right,
I'd get really defensive about it. I got you know,
I say everything wrong, like you know, or if I
did apologize, I'd be like, I'm sorry if you're upset
that I said that. Yeah, like an idiot, I would
think that was smart, a smart thing to say somebody else.
(23:26):
One of our other couples said that anybody who says
I'm sorry if that upset you was just full of shit. Right.
They don't mean it all they're all they're doing is saying,
you know, you are painting the ass you're feeling sorry upset.
But a real i'm sorry is I'm sorry. I said
that I'm sorry if it upset, right, And anytime you're
coming from a place of I'm so selfless, i am
(23:50):
sacrificing so much. Yeah, that is narcissistic thinking. Yeah, you
really have to think. And sometimes I'll like I'll come
up turn on and go, Okay, I'm totally looking for
some um, some attention, and I'm being completely selfish right now,
but I need I need some attention. I'll I'll, I'll
call myself out and say, I know this is going
to sound crazy, but I just need you to like
(24:11):
humor me for a minute. And she does. If you
can tell your spouse what you need in the moment,
it is the most helpful thing because, by the way,
married people or people looking to get married, nobody's a
psychic marriage is like a roller coaster ride, right, it
really is. And there's these high highs and you're like, oh,
this is great, that's tickling in my stomach, feels amazing,
(24:33):
and then you and then you like sync down to
the depths and you go through things and you're scared.
We've often said like, if we had gotten divorced, like
so many times over things that at the time seemed
like a huge deal, we would have missed out on
so much life and incredible moments and fun and some
(24:58):
of the reasons that we are enjoying like our adult
lives now is like when all of our friends were
going out and like out on the town and taking
impromptu trips to tropical islands. We had small babies and toddlers,
and we were tired and exhausted, and we would be
(25:18):
sometimes short with each other, not really kind to each other,
and we were not like taking the time for each other,
and that could have easily frayed our marriage, and we
could have easily turned on each other. But instead it's
sort of we were just fortunate enough and we listened
to each other just enough. I used to leave the
(25:40):
lid off the toothpaste, which drove him crazy, and I
realized I was starting to do it deliberately to drive
him crazy. And then one day I said, Okay, are
we going to have a nice marriage? Are we going
to be dramatic all the time? Put the fucking lid on.
Put the lid on the toothpaste, you said yourself, yes,
(26:02):
put it on, Kelly, it's not rocket science. Put the
just twisted on. You're you're leaving it off. Deliver I was.
I remember the moment I had that conversation in my
own head where I said, go back and put that on,
because it's going to it's going to dictate what kind
(26:22):
of a day you have. You're going to either have
a good day or a bad day by that gesture.
When I think about some of the things that we've
argued about in our life and where we've like, that's it,
We're getting divorced. And and he's always like he last,
he laughs at me whenever I said that, He's like, oh, okay,
(26:43):
we're getting Okay, I'll see you at the divorce court.
So what you're saying is when you go off like that,
or when you did go yeah like that, he was
the one that would sort of say, oh, come on, yeah,
come down, you're the colm down, you're the peacemaker. Yeah yeah,
I think So it's those things that I find, like
(27:03):
when we've settled into our like our happy place where
we are now so many years later, decades later, right,
I find that the fact that I autonomously clean up
after myself, I am on time for him. I do
(27:26):
it for him, but I've also done it for myself now, right,
And he does things that I know didn't always come
naturally to him. But he does it now, like you
figured out that I love guardenias and they always come.
There's never any reason, they just they show up once
(27:48):
a week. He sends them to me just to let
me know that he's thinking of me. And I remember
the first time you sent them to me. I was
I just thought that I had I thought he was
about to tell me he had a secret other family
because I thought, oh, well, I said, these guardenias are
so extraordinary. He's going to tell me he's had a
(28:10):
child out of wedlocked during our marriage. That's the one
thing we didn't touch on, and it is jealousy. I mean,
you're both so frigging good looking. I don't have a
jealous bone in my body, which is which is good.
But he can be jealous, which is it's I'm always
so sort of um, I'm shocked. I'm sort of shocked
(28:32):
by it because I'm somebody that I would not consider
that somebody would get jealous about. You know. I'm like,
jealousy is not really so much about what the other
person does. Yeah, I get your own thing and it
feels horrible. Are you both jealous? Well? I am, yeah. Yeah.
(28:53):
She did a movie with Chris Gristrafferson. Oh wow, oh wow.
So in the middle of the night, I believe this.
So I'm sound asleep and I hear this banging on
the door. I'm thinking about, Oh no, Christ, I'm gonna
be up like in an hour, you know, like four
thirty or something whatever it was. And I get opened
(29:14):
the door and there's Phil. And the minute I saw him,
I thought, he thinks, Chris Christofferson's here, that's that he
would talk. I opened the door, I said, come in.
I was so mad at him because I have I
had like another full hour right now. You know, I
can't go to see first all. I'm aggravated that he
(29:34):
would think that I aggravated. And I'm excited and here
and you're here, and and he walks in, he goes,
I just you know, I just missed you. Wait so
wait Phil, Okay, so let's get into it quickly. What if,
oh god, what if you come to the door and
Chris Christofferson is there? What happens? Is there a fistfight?
(29:58):
What happens? I would probably walk out? Yeah, I think
you would run. I think I would have never seen
you again. Yeah wow, yeah, you see, with Mark, there
would be crimes scene tape. There would be like police
barricades and there'd be a whole right, yeah, yeah, because
you you did that a few times here I would
(30:18):
show up, he would show up, and and I remember
one time I looked at him and I said, aren't
you tired of catching me here actually doing what I'm
saying I'm doing. I was doing a show in Boston,
and there's no we were We didn't have cell phones
at the time, right, And I couldn't get ahold of
her all day, and I got a really bad feeling,
(30:39):
and so yeah, it's horrible. And so unfortunately there are
flights to New York from Boston every hour, and I
got her finally on the you know how they used
to have this on the on the plane, and so
she said, you sound funny. I'm like, nah, you sound fine.
I guess it's just the phone. He said, what are
you doing tonight? It was a Friday night. Were you
married or not married? We're married. What are you doing tonight?
(31:02):
I said, believe it or not, I'm cleaning the toilets.
I was like, I was cleaning. So he for some
reason thought that sounded very fishing. You didn't tell you
on the plane. No, he wanted to catch me love this.
It's like I came in very much like, hey, what's
going on? So happy to see me? No, he tells
(31:24):
the doorman. He goes tell the call up to the
apartment and tell her that there's a flower delivery. And
and I was like a flower delivery. And I'm so
excited because I'm thinking, oh my gosh, he's sending me flowers.
This is so nice. And I'm not kidding. I have
like a Johnny mop in one hand. I'm wearing a bathrobe.
(31:45):
I am. I am a disaster. I'm not how I
want my husband to see me when he gets home
from like his movie set. And I opened the door
and it's him and he comes in. He doesn't even
say hello to me. He's looking for something and I go, right,
I go, what do you? And I'm still looking for
the flower guy. I was like, there's a guy coming flowers.
(32:06):
It's a horrible feeling. It's Oh, I'm less I wouldn't
you say I'm less jealous these days? Oh my gosh. Yes,
there's no such thing as this perfect marriage. It's the
crazy stuff that you get through together that makes it
all the worthwhile. That's Kelly RiPP and Marknzuelos. It's great
(32:27):
how they still seem to surprise each other. Well, it'd
be pretty boring if there were no surprises. That's why
I married you. Until next time. I'm Phil Donna here
and I'm Marlo Thomas. Anyway, I know you're leaving tomorrow.
You must be having a romantic night tonight. So no,
not having a romantic night. But we're done to one Kid,
(32:49):
double day. There's a production of Pushkin Industries. The show
was created by US and produced by Sarah Lily. Michael
Bahari is associate producer. Musical adaptations of It Had to
Be You by Cellwagon, Simfinette, Marlo and I are executive
producers along with Me and Lobell and Letal Molad from Pushkin.
(33:12):
Special thanks to Jacob Wiseburg, Malcolm Gladwell, Heather Faine, John Snars,
Carly Migliori, Eric Sandler, Emily Rosdek, Jason Gambrel, Paul Williams,
and Bruce Kluger. If you like our show, please remember
to share, rate, and review. Thanks for listening.
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