October 25, 2018 • 39 mins
Heavyweight performed a sold-out live show in Brooklyn, NY, last June. Jonathan is joined by This American Life’s Zoe Chace and Reply All’s PJ Vogt to talk about Heavyweight stories that never made it onto the air… until now. Plus: human beatboxing, Gimlet Media CEO Alex Blumberg’s vape pen collection… and Jackie Cohen.
Credits
Heavyweight is hosted and produced by Jonathan Goldstein.
This episode was also produced by Stevie Lane, Peter Bresnan, and Kalila Holt.
Editing by Jorge Just.
Special thanks to Zoe Chace, PJ Vogt, Victoria Barner, Chris Neary, and Jackie Cohen.
The show was mixed by Emma Munger, Julian Kwasneski, and Bay Area Sound.
Music by Christine Fellows and Blue Dot Sessions.
Animation by Arthur Jones.
Our theme song is by The Weakerthans courtesy of Epitaph Records and was performed by Matthew Boll with beatboxing by Devon Guinn. Our ad music is by Haley Shaw.
Links
“Chanel” animation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3tSSOVglHg&feature=youtu.be
“Buddy Picture” (the Little Mermaid story) on This American Life: https://www.thisamericanlife.org/203/recordings-for-someone/act-one
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Last June, Heavyweight performed a sold out show in the
Borough of Churches, Brooklyn, New York. The show was part
of Gimletfest, a two day podcasting festival that rivaled Woodstock
ninety four in terms of historic and cultural significance. If
you came to that show, good for you, And if not, well,
(00:27):
you'll have to live with that fact for the rest
of your life. So please sit back, wallow in that
regret and try to enjoy this slightly edited version of
Heavyweight Live.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
I know, Jackie, did you hear me out fam in
the car? Yeah, it sounds like you're on a speakerphone.
Oh that's really good. So you know I have a podcast.
Do you remember the name of it?
Speaker 3 (01:14):
John, Yes, if it's going to be okay.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
What is the name of the show?
Speaker 3 (01:20):
You know what? Next question?
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Okay, you know that the name of the show is Heavyweight, right?
Speaker 4 (01:25):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Does that ring a bell?
Speaker 3 (01:26):
It rings an annoying bell?
Speaker 4 (01:27):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (01:29):
What does an annoying bell sound like?
Speaker 3 (01:32):
You just rang it?
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Okay? So I am doing a live show.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
I don't think the visual dimension as much. They can
just look at a photograph of you and it's probably
do the same thing. Yeah, you know I certainly hope
you have a little bit of something to drink before.
You tend to do much better in your live performances
if you've had a little, a little something. We all
know that about you.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
A little hoot yeah, yeah, I suppose take the edge off. Yeah,
little hooch is a part of the show business tradition,
back to the days of being crosbys. Yes, of course
they do. Why is that so funny? I am in
show business. I mean it's a statement of fact. I
(02:17):
I host a podcast.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
I just want to know. Is that considered show businesses?
And if so?
Speaker 5 (02:24):
Why?
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Why?
Speaker 3 (02:25):
Yea, I guess it's a show.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
It's a show and people are entertained by it. So
I'm in show business. Nothing.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
I guess you are in show business. It's cute, but
it's very cute, all.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Right, John Okay, youtobe, bye bye.
Speaker 6 (03:13):
Plays and gentlemen.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Got the CEO and Gimblet Media founder Alex Bloomberg is
trotting in place beside my workstation. How do you like apples?
(03:36):
He asks? I don't care for apples, I say, when bruised,
they remind me of my mortality. When served cold, they
tend to hurt my teeth. So no, Alex, I do
not like apples, though I do like apple sauce. Well,
how do you like these apples? He asks, without looking
away from my computer screen. I ask if these apples
(03:59):
are sauced apples. Mister Bloomberg thrusts a letter pressed handbill
in front of my face. It smells like the clone
department of a European duty free. The handbill reads gimlet
fest Fest, it seems is short for festival. Are we
disarming a bomb? While falling from a rooftop? Alex, is
(04:22):
your time so precious that you can't afford two lousy
extra syllables? Of course? I say none of this out loud.
The last thing I need is to be fired from
podcasting and forced to recite my monologues into a CBE
radio while seated on the lap of some trucker named
Jean Francois. Mister Bloomberg checks his fitbit, pumps his fist thrice,
(04:46):
and stops running. Though his brow is virtually sweatless, he
wipes it with a silken kerchief and crumples the handbill
into my chest. Then he asks his real question, what
are you going to do for gimlet Fest? I don't
like public speaking. I say, the very thought of a
(05:07):
live event was enough to make the borsht i'd eaten
for lunch perform a slow, spiteful kazatskay in my kishka's.
Mister Bloomberg laughs, You're hilarious, he says, slapping my back
hard enough to make my fillings rattle, and the days
Borshed enter its final curtain call. For the next several months,
(05:27):
I do nothing but worry. By day, I hide out
shivering in mister Bloomberg's executive bathroom. By night, I sit
at the kitchen table in darkness, eating unsalted peanuts and
drinking bourbon. And so the days run away like wild
horses at a farm wedding and upstate. I make a
mental note to tweet that, and all the while I
(05:52):
can do nothing else but think of gimlet Fest. What
will I wear to? What number will I set my
beer trimmer?
Speaker 7 (06:00):
To bed?
Speaker 2 (06:00):
The wife cries, it's four.
Speaker 4 (06:01):
In the morning.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
When sleep does come, it brings ominous dreams. In one,
I hop out of a papier mache cake onto a cool,
dark stage. I am holding a ukulele. Hello, I say,
into the blackness, I'm certain there is an audience out
there somewhere judging me. In the silence, I hear a cough,
(06:25):
then a Werther's Original slowly being unwrapped. A face emerges
from the darkness. It is ABC television personality Zach Brath.
He informs me. I've been canceled. I awaken a cold sweat,
(06:46):
surrounded by Werther's original wrappers, and for your consideration, DVD
is of alex Ink. A week before showtime, I feel
my bowels quake. Had my nightly prayer for diverticulitis been answered,
Dear God, I in tone, please give me diverticulitis so
(07:08):
I don't have to do gimlet Fest. But no such luck.
It is only a visit from my old friend gas.
Speaker 4 (07:19):
Mere.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Days before the event, mister Bloomberg corners me in the
Gimlet Cat Cafe, the one on the second floor. How's
that live show coming, he demands, superby croak stoically, my
voice cracking in three different places. Good good, he says,
taking a long drag of avocado flavored vape. What's the
(07:46):
run of the show, he asks, I don't know, I say,
ending the charade, I have nothing planned. Mister Bloomberg twitches
violently causing the two task monkeys, carrying his e hook
at a lurch from side to side. What have you
been doing with your time? He asks? The former Planet
Money spokesmodel was still capable of a hard hitting question.
(08:11):
What had I been doing with my time? Tweeting? I
say about the festival. Let's take this to the kitchen,
hammocks mister Bloomberg commands dutifully. I trail behind him, trying
not to spill his chocolate mint julip while swinging on
(08:31):
his stomach. Mister Bloomberg explains how Gimletfest is about influencing.
It's about inspiring positive change, he says, while sipping from
a very long straw. Oh, indubitably, I squeal, let's force
feed positivity down the throats of non Matte believers everywhere.
Of course, I only squeal this to myself. The last
(08:54):
thing I need is to be sent back to Canada
to do the overnight weather report from Moose Factory, Ontario.
I've been thinking a lot about engaging our brand loyalists,
Alex continues, but I'm barely listening. The gentle rocking of
the hammock has sent me into a reverie. When I awake.
I'm alone. The office is dark but for the muted
(09:14):
headlamps of the task monkeys polishing mister Bloomberg's vate pen
collection and preparation for the day ahead. Come to bed.
The wife texts, it's four a m. Of course, I
want to help mister Bloomberg. I've been listening to him
radio DJ on This American Life since I was but
a mopheaded child strapped into the back seat of Mammon's
(09:34):
minivan on the way to curling practice. Leaving the office,
I pass by his treadmill desk. He is still here,
slowly trotting along, working hard. I ask, but there is
no answer. After several minutes, I realize that he has
fallen into a deep sleep. Only the support of his
loyal task monkeys is keeping him upright. Good night, Podcast, Prince,
(09:58):
I whisper, before wandering out into the night. The night
before Gimbletfest is one of the worst of my life.
How's everybody doing tonight? I practice over and over into
my wife's hair brush while staring into the bathroom mirror.
How is everybody doing tonight? How's everybody doing tonight?
Speaker 4 (10:22):
Go to bed?
Speaker 2 (10:23):
The wife cries, it's four in the morning, but I can't.
I know that if I can just nail my opening line,
everything else will fall into place. The audience will applaud,
mister Bloomberg, will sign my paycheck, and my infant son
will start calling me dada instead of haha. And so
(10:44):
I practice, how's everybody doing tonight? How is everybody doing tonight?
And then it comes to me, how's everybody doing this evening?
So how's everybody doing this evening?
Speaker 6 (11:24):
Hello? Jonathan Goldstein?
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Uh, that's that's my human beat boxer, Devin, And this
is my co host and producer, Khalila Holt.
Speaker 8 (11:36):
Hello.
Speaker 6 (11:41):
Do you want to tell these people what we're gonna do?
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Yeah? Uh, so tonight the theme of this evening is
Killed Killed Stories, and so we were gonna play for
you some of the stories or clips of the stories
that didn't make it onto the air. And also we're
gonna have some guests, some special guests, and uh, they're
going to be human beatboxed onto the stage.
Speaker 6 (12:10):
Are you suggesting that I should be human being?
Speaker 4 (12:12):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (12:13):
Would you like to be human beatboxed onto the stage?
Speaker 6 (12:17):
Not particularly, but I will.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
I think you're gonna like it more than you anticipate
it's you're gonna find it very enlivening. I did.
Speaker 6 (12:24):
Do we call it human beat boxing or do we
just call it beatboxing?
Speaker 2 (12:27):
He's human and he's beatboxing. So mm hmmm, i'd you
(13:07):
like that.
Speaker 6 (13:09):
It's okay.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
Makes me so happy, Devin, come out here. I'm sorry.
I want to tell you. I want to thank you again.
I want to tell you a story about how my
interest in human beatboxing came about. Are you familiar with
the Fat Boys? I am, Yeah, so I really like
the Fat Boys as a child, and I would try
to human beat box myself and I wasn't good at it,
(13:32):
and I started to feel chest pains and my parents
had to take me to the Jewish general er in Montreal,
and the doctor in the er told me that I
had given myself these chest pains from the beatboxing that
I was giving. Is that is that a peril of it?
Speaker 9 (13:52):
It can happen, Yeah, definitely seems to have happened.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
Yeah, so I had to stop doing it. Yeah.
Speaker 9 (13:59):
Well, I think, uh, I think anybody can can beat box.
So I think if you push through the pain, uh one, yeah,
one day you could get there.
Speaker 6 (14:07):
Can we hear? Just like a little something?
Speaker 9 (14:08):
Yeah, can we hear just a tiny little here, I'll
set you up.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
Sure, Sure, I know you're patronizing me, but I still
like it.
Speaker 7 (14:24):
Ok, thank you.
Speaker 6 (14:25):
Again, leaving the stage.
Speaker 10 (14:26):
Now, I think it's time to introduce our first special guests.
You may Introd know her from the Social Security number
eight two three six three eight two nine seven, or
from her work on Planet Money and This American Life,
(14:46):
Ladies and Gentlemen.
Speaker 6 (14:47):
Zoe Chase.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Devin brings Zoe to the stage. Zoe, how was that?
(15:19):
Why have you ever been human being boxed onto a stage?
It's pretty nice. You get used to it. Oh yeah,
you can't live without it, event Hi Hi, So okay,
so we're going to talk about killed stories, and at
your prompting, we're going to talk about a killed story
of mine. And I know that it made an impact
(15:40):
on a young Zoe Chase. And this is a story
that almost almost got killed when I was working as
a producer at This American Life many many years ago.
And during that time, there were so many of my
stories that were getting killed all the time. But this,
this is one that somehow evaded death barely. And yeah,
(16:02):
and you wanted to talk about it.
Speaker 11 (16:04):
Yeah, No, this story is the reason that I started
working in radio.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
You're talking about the Little Mermaid story, right, who.
Speaker 11 (16:11):
You guys know that story?
Speaker 4 (16:12):
Right?
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Yeah, So this is a story. I would call my
friend Josh up on the phone just because they thought
he was very funny, and I was always looking for
a way to get him on this American life. And
because this American life is all about storytelling. IRA would
always say, you have to your friend Josh has to
have a story. And he'd tell me stories and they
(16:34):
would go nowhere, they'd be stupid, and then this was
one of those stories that he told me. But it
just happened actually turn into something, you know. I think
we just happened to have a clip.
Speaker 5 (16:46):
There was this guy named Fred okay, and he got
this message, well, his mother left him in a message
on his answering machine okay, and he forwarded it to
I don't know, maybe one or more of his friends,
and they forwarded this message across campus to everyone. Okay.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
So you want to hear the message, m M all right.
So he prefaced it by saying, you have it, you
the message.
Speaker 5 (17:09):
I do not have the message. I have the message
in my head. I'm telling you a story.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
So the message.
Speaker 5 (17:15):
He prefaced it by by some kind of sad little
lead in in a little voice. He was like, I
think you'd appreciate hearing this message from my mother. Okay,
and then the message played. This was the entirety of
the message. And I'm gonna do the voice for you
as best I can.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
You ready, yeah?
Speaker 4 (17:30):
All right? Oh?
Speaker 5 (17:31):
Sorry, more background. He apparently he had had a heart.
He was not a hit with the ladies. Fred, Okay,
that's this is what I was let to understand. Okay,
I'm not sure if this is true or not. Okay,
but he had managed to score a date to go
see The Little Mermaid of All movies.
Speaker 4 (17:47):
Okay, The Little Mermaid?
Speaker 5 (17:49):
Okay, Yeah, So this is the message his own mother, okay,
his blood relation leaves for him.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
Yeah, and I quote ahem, you and the Little Mermaid
can go go yourselves. The books you wanted are not here.
Speaker 6 (18:02):
They must be in La Joya.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
I'm not gonna wait up all night view.
Speaker 4 (18:05):
Goodbye. That's the entirety of it.
Speaker 6 (18:07):
All right.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Yeah, that's a message that his mother left them.
Speaker 4 (18:11):
That's correct.
Speaker 5 (18:11):
You catch that part. You and the Little Mermaid can
both go yourselves. I love you, son, Okay, that's gold.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
So that yeah, that's how it starts.
Speaker 12 (18:28):
It's so the reason why was because I wasn't in
radio and I was just living in Philadelphia and I
was very lonely and I heard this story.
Speaker 11 (18:39):
Somebody said like listen to these.
Speaker 12 (18:41):
Things, these streaming m P three's whatever, and so I
listened to this and I was like, that's it. Like
you can just talk to your friends about being in
college and it's so funny and it's like that's all
and you're on the radio, like that's so, that's geezy,
(19:05):
that's the best thing.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
I'm glad it didn't seem like hard no, because then
you'd be like I can ever do this. I'm not
gonna get into radio, and you wouldn't be here. So
I'm glad.
Speaker 11 (19:15):
Yeah, it's true.
Speaker 12 (19:17):
Yeah, So so I just wanted to say that, like
what I tried to do still tried to do in
radio is like I have funny friends, and I'm like,
you should be on the radio telling your story, and
I'm gonna do it like Jonathan and Josh.
Speaker 4 (19:34):
It's gonna be a whole thing.
Speaker 12 (19:35):
It's just gonna be like a conversation that kind of
unfolds naturally. It's funny and then it'll kind of morph
into this American life story and that that's been my
plan for a really long time. And now I work
at this American life and I still can't get my
friend Lenz on the radio.
Speaker 6 (19:56):
Like I try.
Speaker 12 (19:57):
I like beg her so let me recorder, and I
lie to her that I'm not going to use it,
that that's not the plan. And now she's a very tense,
serious immigration lawyer, so she has a lot of stories
that are relevant to the current moment, stories that she
thinks like aren't appropriate to tell on the radio because
(20:18):
they're about her clients.
Speaker 11 (20:20):
But like, I don't see it that way.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
You know, we have a clip.
Speaker 6 (20:26):
I just so happened to have a clip, and I'm.
Speaker 5 (20:30):
Gonna record for me.
Speaker 6 (20:32):
No, but they I'll remember it better. Oh you can't.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
First of all, I can't even tell you about it
because it's a client. So I'm I'll just give you
no remember it better, ruh me.
Speaker 6 (20:39):
I see you like every day.
Speaker 11 (20:43):
That's like all the.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
Time, so that it's like every day you still that
is still something that you want to do.
Speaker 12 (20:51):
Yeah, man, somehow the way that you interviewed your friends
on this American life like decade and decades ago.
Speaker 11 (21:01):
You know, long long ago.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
It's a long time ago.
Speaker 11 (21:04):
Yeah, it's it's like the best radio ever.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
You know.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
It's it's funny to me to hear you say that,
because you do all of these like serious, important political
stories for this American life, and I'm I feel like
I'm just making like knock knock jokes on the radio.
And and to me, the irony has always been that
I'm not an easy laugh and that's been a problem
(21:29):
for me in broadcasting, because laughing can say so much
like when you're interviewing someone. A laugh can feel like,
you know, like a warm arm around the shoulder and
let the person know that you're enjoying them, and it
gives them confidence. And I'm not much of a laugher
and and I've suffered for that. But but having my
(21:51):
close friends to do stories with people who legitimately make
me laugh make me a better broadcaster than I naturally am.
Speaker 10 (22:03):
Should we introduce another person who makes you laugh?
Speaker 7 (22:06):
Yes?
Speaker 6 (22:07):
Please?
Speaker 2 (22:09):
So you're gonna stick around, right, you don't have to
go any place.
Speaker 11 (22:12):
Yet, right, I have nothing going on.
Speaker 10 (22:14):
Okay, Previously the host of it was too long, and
so I didn't read it. He now hosts the show
reply All with Alex Goldman. He has a small dog
which wants pete on Alex Bloomberg's desk. PJ Vote Everyone.
Speaker 8 (22:34):
PJA vote whoa p J Vote everybody, PJ vote.
Speaker 3 (22:48):
Whoa poo?
Speaker 8 (22:51):
Pool Bool, PJ vote.
Speaker 4 (22:57):
Pool Pool.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
You just received the human beatboxing of a lifetime. My
friend had that feel.
Speaker 7 (23:07):
It felt like three different stress dreams that I had
happening at the same time.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
Now, PJ. So when I was figuring out Heavyweight, I
was talking to you a lot.
Speaker 7 (23:20):
You're sort of figuring out like what is the show?
Speaker 2 (23:22):
Yes, And at the time it was sort of about
It had to do with this idea that, like every
the irony of living in society was that everybody knows
something about you that you just can't figure out about yourself. Right,
Like the ultimate irony is how one cannot know oneself.
Just as a knife cannot cut itself or a fire
(23:45):
cannot burn itself, a human being cannot really know itself.
Speaker 6 (23:51):
I think a fire can burn itself.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
Anyway, I was getting I was getting poetical all right. Anyway,
the idea was a little broader than Heavyweight. It was
just sort of like I'm going to help people figure
out things that they can't figure about themselves.
Speaker 7 (24:06):
You're calling it Jonathan Goldstein medicine woman.
Speaker 2 (24:09):
That was my wife's idea. That was Emily's idea, Jonathan
gold Seen medicine woman. And so you came to me
with a particular problem, which.
Speaker 7 (24:19):
Was I've been told or hinted at on more than
one occasion that there was something about my face that
was like inherently punishable, that you had a punishable face.
I had a punishable face, right, And I'm sorry, I
just like literally just feel a bunch of people looking
at my face like sizing out. It does not feel good.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
Sorry, And and how was it that you described like
what makes a punishable face?
Speaker 7 (24:48):
I think that people see like either a. I think
there's like a you can have it. There's a couple
of kinds. But one is like a kind of inherent
smugness and one is a sort of pnus. And if
you have both of them, I think it's like, yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
I want so I wanted to make PJ. I wanted
to eradicate that really I don't think it's true. But
any of that, but anyway, uh, and and the way
and I was re listening to the tape, and so
much of it was making me wish that we had
actually been able to do this story. You describe yourself
as a kid wearing like bifocals or something in it,
like a skin tight white turtleneck with Hawaiian punch stains
(25:30):
all over it, and I was like heartbreaking. Anyway, So
I set out and I talked to your friends, I
talked to uh former employers, I talked I really covered
a lot of bases. I don't know we ever talked
about this.
Speaker 7 (25:48):
I'm not not in detail.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Okay. So at one point, so desperate I was to
find because I it wasn't The problem with the story
was that in the end, people didn't really think you
had a punchable face, and so I felt desperate. I
felt like, well, I've got to find people that think
he has a punishable face. And so I went to
a place where I thought people would be most inclined
(26:11):
to want to punch you in the face. So I
went to a boxing gym, and I carried with me
a framed photograph of you to really get them riled up,
to kind of bait them. And so this is this
is tape of me talking to some of the boxers
(26:32):
as a boxer. Do you think that this guy has
a punishable face?
Speaker 10 (26:38):
No?
Speaker 2 (26:39):
Does he seem like he has a punishable face?
Speaker 5 (26:41):
Nah?
Speaker 2 (26:42):
Do you think that he has a punishable face? Nope, no, no,
I do not think he has a punchable face.
Speaker 9 (26:47):
Looks like a very talented, strong young man, a.
Speaker 4 (26:51):
Social, outgoing kind of person.
Speaker 9 (26:53):
I mean, it looks friendly, It looks smiling right now.
Would you want to punch him?
Speaker 11 (26:57):
Why would you say he has a punishable face?
Speaker 2 (27:00):
I think sometimes like people have felt like because he
seems so smiley.
Speaker 6 (27:05):
Uh, there's no reason to be punched in the face
just for being happy.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
I was this guy.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
He's a friend of ours. His name is PJ.
Speaker 4 (27:13):
Well, no, PJ.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
I don't know why people have been telling you that
maybe you have to work on your attitude. Guy, but
you don't look punishable. Man, all right, PJ, wherever.
Speaker 6 (27:21):
You are pe.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
So that was it. You didn't have a punchable face.
So they're applotting for you for not having a punishable face.
Speaker 7 (27:32):
I'm honestly surprised at how hard it is to get
boxers to say that they want to punch somebody.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
I know we have a photograph of the photograph that
I brought into the boxing gym. PJ, I'll ask you
to describe it.
Speaker 7 (27:46):
I feel like this goes against everything that you've said.
Just a ninny with a stupid, punishable face.
Speaker 2 (27:53):
No, no, that's not true.
Speaker 7 (27:55):
It's like it's like the smile is like I think
I'm better than you, but also worse.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
But like but like you're you're standing on a yacht
or something, you're standing on a building, a balcony, and you.
Speaker 11 (28:09):
You're wearing and you're lying yet more.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
If you're wearing a watch, Like, who do you think
you are? Anyway? Not a punishable face, Ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 4 (28:29):
Oh, PJ, you crack me up.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
AnyWho, We've got to take a short break and when
we come back, you'll hear the shortest heavyweight story ever made.
But first some important words from some very important sponsors.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
This next killed story.
Speaker 10 (29:00):
This was something that we really liked and it worked
out really well, and it totally fit the form of
the show.
Speaker 6 (29:05):
But it was just really short.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
It worked out too well. It all came together in
like just a few minutes and.
Speaker 10 (29:15):
So but so we made it into an animated video
for all of you here at the Heavyweight Live Show for.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
Your viewing enjoyment, and we will play it now. Chanelle
comes from a family that has a hard time saying
I love you. They hardly ever say it.
Speaker 4 (29:32):
Actually, not really at all.
Speaker 13 (29:35):
It's like a there's a death in the family, or
I mean, yeah, mostly if there's a death in the family.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
You've preserved the power of the the words in a
way I mean to me, it's just like I might
as well just be saying, okay, will feedback later, I
love you. There was a moment when Chanelle almost said it.
She was going through a hard time and her mom
had come to stay with her in Brooklyn. Chanel wanted
(30:04):
to say I love you just as her mom was
about to leave.
Speaker 13 (30:07):
I've been dropping her off at Penn Station. You know,
we sat there until she had to go. And she
starts walking away, and this is weird. I like started crying,
like falling in the middle of Pin Station. You know,
nobody cares because there's like a thousand people in Penn Station.
I'm right near like the switchboard or it tells you
the times, so people are just like staring at that.
And she turns around and she gets this weird look
(30:29):
on her face and she turns back around.
Speaker 11 (30:31):
She has to keep going, she's in line.
Speaker 13 (30:33):
And the whole time, I was like, oh my gosh,
I wish I had like told her how much she
means to me in that moment, and like how she
came at the perfect time and did all these things
for me, And I'm like, why can't I say I
love you to her?
Speaker 10 (30:46):
So?
Speaker 2 (30:46):
When when was the last time that you told your
mother that you loved her?
Speaker 4 (30:50):
I don't remember.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
That's a long time. And this is why I've invited
Chanelle here today to help create a safe place for
her heart to speak its truth and to not allow
her or her heart to leave that safe place until
it happens. Do you think there's a way to say
(31:17):
it to where it was sort of like you were
clearing away the space.
Speaker 11 (31:21):
Yeah, I think I would have to follow up with
like a I really mean it.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
I love you, mom, and I really mean it.
Speaker 13 (31:27):
I'm not trying to joke with you, I think because
I'm uncomfortable, I'm like it's going to show and then
maybe not.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
Everything's supposed to be comfortable, that's.
Speaker 13 (31:37):
True, but I have to I have to like have
a reason to call her right. I can't just be like, hey, mom,
I love you, kay bye.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
You know there's this song that comes to mind, an
obscure little ditty by a performer named Stevie Wonder. I
don't know if you're familiar with him, you know, I don't. Yes,
the song is I just called to say I love you.
How does a song go I just call it to
say I love you?
Speaker 6 (31:59):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (32:00):
I meet him from the bottom of my heart. What
about a sign off like okay, I love you? Yeah?
You want to get the pronoun in there, you want
to get the eye in there. You want me to
say it for you? She'll I feel like, what, like
it's a hostage situation. Who is that I'm gonna send
Chanel's pinky toe to just to let you know that
(32:21):
she's fine.
Speaker 4 (32:22):
She's fine. I mean she's not already afraid enough. But
I live in a city alone.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
Oh, I don't know. I wanted to say it and
I'm saying it now.
Speaker 4 (32:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 13 (32:33):
No, Yeah, she's at work, but she always calls me
when I'm at work, so it's probably fine.
Speaker 2 (32:41):
Does she pick up and say She'll probably say I'm
in richter and taft.
Speaker 4 (32:47):
Like what do you want? Missy. Okay, should I do it?
Am I doing it?
Speaker 13 (32:52):
Now?
Speaker 4 (32:52):
Okay? Here we go, Okay, answer the phone.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
Okay, yeah, hi mom, what do you want?
Speaker 4 (33:13):
What's up? I?
Speaker 11 (33:15):
Okay?
Speaker 4 (33:16):
You remember that time when you came to visit me?
Speaker 2 (33:20):
Yeah?
Speaker 13 (33:20):
Yeah, and then you were at the trains station and
I started crying. Yeah, Well, in that moment, I really
wanted to tell you how much you meant to me
and that you helped a lot that week because I
was like emotionally distraught and you cooked me all those
(33:40):
meals and you were there and you watched Transparent season
two with me and it was great, and I just
wanted to tell you.
Speaker 4 (33:48):
That I love you a lot.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
Oh you de strode about.
Speaker 4 (33:55):
Doesn't matter what I was just strad about.
Speaker 2 (33:59):
Why are you?
Speaker 1 (34:02):
No?
Speaker 4 (34:02):
It doesn't matter. What matters is I love you.
Speaker 10 (34:07):
I know that.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
Oh okay, wait a minute, what's something wrong?
Speaker 4 (34:14):
Now? Nothing's wrong?
Speaker 2 (34:17):
Are you sure? Yeah? Okay?
Speaker 4 (34:20):
That was really sweety you should now wow, wow, Mom,
this is so sentimental.
Speaker 5 (34:27):
Well, don't be crying.
Speaker 3 (34:28):
Don't get me teary eyed until I work walking the
hallways trying to get trying to get my steps on release.
But you know me and my love you too, your
mom love you too?
Speaker 11 (34:40):
Really, m okay, okay, all right, I'll talk to you
all right, okay, bye bye.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
I I'd like to ask Chanel and her mom Marilyn,
to stand up. I think you guys are supposed to
be here. Yeah, all right, yeah, And with that, I
(35:22):
think we draw our show to a close. On a
positive note, I would like to introduce to the stage
Matt Bowle, who's going to play us out, and Devin
Gwynn is going to be accompanying him with some human
(35:44):
beat boxing.
Speaker 4 (36:05):
Now that the fun it chose we turn into its good.
Speaker 14 (36:10):
Will dishes in last week's papers.
Speaker 4 (36:17):
Rumors and elections crosser and in the blackend I things
me the printing song every Door puts.
Speaker 14 (36:32):
Now that the last month's man is scheming with the
damage to POSSI take this moment to the side sign
and into if We meant it, and we tried sign
and into felt around for five two months that accident charge.
Speaker 2 (36:54):
Sign Into Heavyweight is hosted and produced by me Nathan
Goldstein along with Stevie Lane, Peter Bresnan, and Khalila Holt,
editing by Jorge just Special thanks to Zoe Chase and
(37:21):
PJ Vote and Jackie Cohen. Animation by Arthur Jones with
music by Christine Fellows and Blue Dot Sessions. Audio mixing
by Emma Munger. Our theme song is by The Weaker
Thans courtesy of Epitaph Records and was performed by Matthew
Bole with beatboxing by Devin Gwynn. Thank you Live Studio
(37:50):
audience for coming out tonight. Give yourselves a big Heavyweight
round of applause. Good night.
Speaker 4 (38:38):
Thanks Jonathan, great show before we go.
Speaker 1 (38:43):
We also want to thank Julian Quiznski and Bay Area
Sound for mixing this episode. Special things also to Joshua Carpati,
Chris Neary, and Victoria Barner. If you want to hear
the Little Mermaid story that Jonathan produced at This American Life,
you can find it at This American Life dot org.
And if you want to see the animated video that
we made to accompany Chanel's story, you can find it
(39:05):
on our YouTube channel, YouTube dot com slash Gimbletmedia. Again,
that's YouTube dot com slash Gimbletmedia. We'll be back with
a brand new episode of Heavyweight next week.
Last June, Heavyweight performed a sold out show in the
Borough of Churches, Brooklyn, New York. The show was part
of Gimletfest, a two day podcasting festival that rivaled Woodstock
ninety four in terms of historic and cultural significance. If
you came to that show, good for you, And if not, well,
(00:27):
you'll have to live with that fact for the rest
of your life. So please sit back, wallow in that
regret and try to enjoy this slightly edited version of
Heavyweight Live.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
I know, Jackie, did you hear me out fam in
the car? Yeah, it sounds like you're on a speakerphone.
Oh that's really good. So you know I have a podcast.
Do you remember the name of it?
Speaker 3 (01:14):
John, Yes, if it's going to be okay.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
What is the name of the show?
Speaker 3 (01:20):
You know what? Next question?
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Okay, you know that the name of the show is Heavyweight, right?
Speaker 4 (01:25):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Does that ring a bell?
Speaker 3 (01:26):
It rings an annoying bell?
Speaker 4 (01:27):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (01:29):
What does an annoying bell sound like?
Speaker 3 (01:32):
You just rang it?
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Okay? So I am doing a live show.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
I don't think the visual dimension as much. They can
just look at a photograph of you and it's probably
do the same thing. Yeah, you know I certainly hope
you have a little bit of something to drink before.
You tend to do much better in your live performances
if you've had a little, a little something. We all
know that about you.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
A little hoot yeah, yeah, I suppose take the edge off. Yeah,
little hooch is a part of the show business tradition,
back to the days of being crosbys. Yes, of course
they do. Why is that so funny? I am in
show business. I mean it's a statement of fact. I
(02:17):
I host a podcast.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
I just want to know. Is that considered show businesses?
And if so?
Speaker 5 (02:24):
Why?
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Why?
Speaker 3 (02:25):
Yea, I guess it's a show.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
It's a show and people are entertained by it. So
I'm in show business. Nothing.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
I guess you are in show business. It's cute, but
it's very cute, all.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Right, John Okay, youtobe, bye bye.
Speaker 6 (03:13):
Plays and gentlemen.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Got the CEO and Gimblet Media founder Alex Bloomberg is
trotting in place beside my workstation. How do you like apples?
(03:36):
He asks? I don't care for apples, I say, when bruised,
they remind me of my mortality. When served cold, they
tend to hurt my teeth. So no, Alex, I do
not like apples, though I do like apple sauce. Well,
how do you like these apples? He asks, without looking
away from my computer screen. I ask if these apples
(03:59):
are sauced apples. Mister Bloomberg thrusts a letter pressed handbill
in front of my face. It smells like the clone
department of a European duty free. The handbill reads gimlet
fest Fest, it seems is short for festival. Are we
disarming a bomb? While falling from a rooftop? Alex, is
(04:22):
your time so precious that you can't afford two lousy
extra syllables? Of course? I say none of this out loud.
The last thing I need is to be fired from
podcasting and forced to recite my monologues into a CBE
radio while seated on the lap of some trucker named
Jean Francois. Mister Bloomberg checks his fitbit, pumps his fist thrice,
(04:46):
and stops running. Though his brow is virtually sweatless, he
wipes it with a silken kerchief and crumples the handbill
into my chest. Then he asks his real question, what
are you going to do for gimlet Fest? I don't
like public speaking. I say, the very thought of a
(05:07):
live event was enough to make the borsht i'd eaten
for lunch perform a slow, spiteful kazatskay in my kishka's.
Mister Bloomberg laughs, You're hilarious, he says, slapping my back
hard enough to make my fillings rattle, and the days
Borshed enter its final curtain call. For the next several months,
(05:27):
I do nothing but worry. By day, I hide out
shivering in mister Bloomberg's executive bathroom. By night, I sit
at the kitchen table in darkness, eating unsalted peanuts and
drinking bourbon. And so the days run away like wild
horses at a farm wedding and upstate. I make a
mental note to tweet that, and all the while I
(05:52):
can do nothing else but think of gimlet Fest. What
will I wear to? What number will I set my
beer trimmer?
Speaker 7 (06:00):
To bed?
Speaker 2 (06:00):
The wife cries, it's four.
Speaker 4 (06:01):
In the morning.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
When sleep does come, it brings ominous dreams. In one,
I hop out of a papier mache cake onto a cool,
dark stage. I am holding a ukulele. Hello, I say,
into the blackness, I'm certain there is an audience out
there somewhere judging me. In the silence, I hear a cough,
(06:25):
then a Werther's Original slowly being unwrapped. A face emerges
from the darkness. It is ABC television personality Zach Brath.
He informs me. I've been canceled. I awaken a cold sweat,
(06:46):
surrounded by Werther's original wrappers, and for your consideration, DVD
is of alex Ink. A week before showtime, I feel
my bowels quake. Had my nightly prayer for diverticulitis been answered,
Dear God, I in tone, please give me diverticulitis so
(07:08):
I don't have to do gimlet Fest. But no such luck.
It is only a visit from my old friend gas.
Speaker 4 (07:19):
Mere.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Days before the event, mister Bloomberg corners me in the
Gimlet Cat Cafe, the one on the second floor. How's
that live show coming, he demands, superby croak stoically, my
voice cracking in three different places. Good good, he says,
taking a long drag of avocado flavored vape. What's the
(07:46):
run of the show, he asks, I don't know, I say,
ending the charade, I have nothing planned. Mister Bloomberg twitches
violently causing the two task monkeys, carrying his e hook
at a lurch from side to side. What have you
been doing with your time? He asks? The former Planet
Money spokesmodel was still capable of a hard hitting question.
(08:11):
What had I been doing with my time? Tweeting? I
say about the festival. Let's take this to the kitchen,
hammocks mister Bloomberg commands dutifully. I trail behind him, trying
not to spill his chocolate mint julip while swinging on
(08:31):
his stomach. Mister Bloomberg explains how Gimletfest is about influencing.
It's about inspiring positive change, he says, while sipping from
a very long straw. Oh, indubitably, I squeal, let's force
feed positivity down the throats of non Matte believers everywhere.
Of course, I only squeal this to myself. The last
(08:54):
thing I need is to be sent back to Canada
to do the overnight weather report from Moose Factory, Ontario.
I've been thinking a lot about engaging our brand loyalists,
Alex continues, but I'm barely listening. The gentle rocking of
the hammock has sent me into a reverie. When I awake.
I'm alone. The office is dark but for the muted
(09:14):
headlamps of the task monkeys polishing mister Bloomberg's vate pen
collection and preparation for the day ahead. Come to bed.
The wife texts, it's four a m. Of course, I
want to help mister Bloomberg. I've been listening to him
radio DJ on This American Life since I was but
a mopheaded child strapped into the back seat of Mammon's
(09:34):
minivan on the way to curling practice. Leaving the office,
I pass by his treadmill desk. He is still here,
slowly trotting along, working hard. I ask, but there is
no answer. After several minutes, I realize that he has
fallen into a deep sleep. Only the support of his
loyal task monkeys is keeping him upright. Good night, Podcast, Prince,
(09:58):
I whisper, before wandering out into the night. The night
before Gimbletfest is one of the worst of my life.
How's everybody doing tonight? I practice over and over into
my wife's hair brush while staring into the bathroom mirror.
How is everybody doing tonight? How's everybody doing tonight?
Speaker 4 (10:22):
Go to bed?
Speaker 2 (10:23):
The wife cries, it's four in the morning, but I can't.
I know that if I can just nail my opening line,
everything else will fall into place. The audience will applaud,
mister Bloomberg, will sign my paycheck, and my infant son
will start calling me dada instead of haha. And so
(10:44):
I practice, how's everybody doing tonight? How is everybody doing tonight?
And then it comes to me, how's everybody doing this evening?
So how's everybody doing this evening?
Speaker 6 (11:24):
Hello? Jonathan Goldstein?
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Uh, that's that's my human beat boxer, Devin, And this
is my co host and producer, Khalila Holt.
Speaker 8 (11:36):
Hello.
Speaker 6 (11:41):
Do you want to tell these people what we're gonna do?
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Yeah? Uh, so tonight the theme of this evening is
Killed Killed Stories, and so we were gonna play for
you some of the stories or clips of the stories
that didn't make it onto the air. And also we're
gonna have some guests, some special guests, and uh, they're
going to be human beatboxed onto the stage.
Speaker 6 (12:10):
Are you suggesting that I should be human being?
Speaker 4 (12:12):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (12:13):
Would you like to be human beatboxed onto the stage?
Speaker 6 (12:17):
Not particularly, but I will.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
I think you're gonna like it more than you anticipate
it's you're gonna find it very enlivening. I did.
Speaker 6 (12:24):
Do we call it human beat boxing or do we
just call it beatboxing?
Speaker 2 (12:27):
He's human and he's beatboxing. So mm hmmm, i'd you
(13:07):
like that.
Speaker 6 (13:09):
It's okay.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
Makes me so happy, Devin, come out here. I'm sorry.
I want to tell you. I want to thank you again.
I want to tell you a story about how my
interest in human beatboxing came about. Are you familiar with
the Fat Boys? I am, Yeah, so I really like
the Fat Boys as a child, and I would try
to human beat box myself and I wasn't good at it,
(13:32):
and I started to feel chest pains and my parents
had to take me to the Jewish general er in Montreal,
and the doctor in the er told me that I
had given myself these chest pains from the beatboxing that
I was giving. Is that is that a peril of it?
Speaker 9 (13:52):
It can happen, Yeah, definitely seems to have happened.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
Yeah, so I had to stop doing it. Yeah.
Speaker 9 (13:59):
Well, I think, uh, I think anybody can can beat box.
So I think if you push through the pain, uh one, yeah,
one day you could get there.
Speaker 6 (14:07):
Can we hear? Just like a little something?
Speaker 9 (14:08):
Yeah, can we hear just a tiny little here, I'll
set you up.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
Sure, Sure, I know you're patronizing me, but I still
like it.
Speaker 7 (14:24):
Ok, thank you.
Speaker 6 (14:25):
Again, leaving the stage.
Speaker 10 (14:26):
Now, I think it's time to introduce our first special guests.
You may Introd know her from the Social Security number
eight two three six three eight two nine seven, or
from her work on Planet Money and This American Life,
(14:46):
Ladies and Gentlemen.
Speaker 6 (14:47):
Zoe Chase.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Devin brings Zoe to the stage. Zoe, how was that?
(15:19):
Why have you ever been human being boxed onto a stage?
It's pretty nice. You get used to it. Oh yeah,
you can't live without it, event Hi Hi, So okay,
so we're going to talk about killed stories, and at
your prompting, we're going to talk about a killed story
of mine. And I know that it made an impact
(15:40):
on a young Zoe Chase. And this is a story
that almost almost got killed when I was working as
a producer at This American Life many many years ago.
And during that time, there were so many of my
stories that were getting killed all the time. But this,
this is one that somehow evaded death barely. And yeah,
(16:02):
and you wanted to talk about it.
Speaker 11 (16:04):
Yeah, No, this story is the reason that I started
working in radio.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
You're talking about the Little Mermaid story, right, who.
Speaker 11 (16:11):
You guys know that story?
Speaker 4 (16:12):
Right?
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Yeah, So this is a story. I would call my
friend Josh up on the phone just because they thought
he was very funny, and I was always looking for
a way to get him on this American life. And
because this American life is all about storytelling. IRA would
always say, you have to your friend Josh has to
have a story. And he'd tell me stories and they
(16:34):
would go nowhere, they'd be stupid, and then this was
one of those stories that he told me. But it
just happened actually turn into something, you know. I think
we just happened to have a clip.
Speaker 5 (16:46):
There was this guy named Fred okay, and he got
this message, well, his mother left him in a message
on his answering machine okay, and he forwarded it to
I don't know, maybe one or more of his friends,
and they forwarded this message across campus to everyone. Okay.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
So you want to hear the message, m M all right.
So he prefaced it by saying, you have it, you
the message.
Speaker 5 (17:09):
I do not have the message. I have the message
in my head. I'm telling you a story.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
So the message.
Speaker 5 (17:15):
He prefaced it by by some kind of sad little
lead in in a little voice. He was like, I
think you'd appreciate hearing this message from my mother. Okay,
and then the message played. This was the entirety of
the message. And I'm gonna do the voice for you
as best I can.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
You ready, yeah?
Speaker 4 (17:30):
All right? Oh?
Speaker 5 (17:31):
Sorry, more background. He apparently he had had a heart.
He was not a hit with the ladies. Fred, Okay,
that's this is what I was let to understand. Okay,
I'm not sure if this is true or not. Okay,
but he had managed to score a date to go
see The Little Mermaid of All movies.
Speaker 4 (17:47):
Okay, The Little Mermaid?
Speaker 5 (17:49):
Okay, Yeah, So this is the message his own mother, okay,
his blood relation leaves for him.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
Yeah, and I quote ahem, you and the Little Mermaid
can go go yourselves. The books you wanted are not here.
Speaker 6 (18:02):
They must be in La Joya.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
I'm not gonna wait up all night view.
Speaker 4 (18:05):
Goodbye. That's the entirety of it.
Speaker 6 (18:07):
All right.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Yeah, that's a message that his mother left them.
Speaker 4 (18:11):
That's correct.
Speaker 5 (18:11):
You catch that part. You and the Little Mermaid can
both go yourselves. I love you, son, Okay, that's gold.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
So that yeah, that's how it starts.
Speaker 12 (18:28):
It's so the reason why was because I wasn't in
radio and I was just living in Philadelphia and I
was very lonely and I heard this story.
Speaker 11 (18:39):
Somebody said like listen to these.
Speaker 12 (18:41):
Things, these streaming m P three's whatever, and so I
listened to this and I was like, that's it. Like
you can just talk to your friends about being in
college and it's so funny and it's like that's all
and you're on the radio, like that's so, that's geezy,
(19:05):
that's the best thing.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
I'm glad it didn't seem like hard no, because then
you'd be like I can ever do this. I'm not
gonna get into radio, and you wouldn't be here. So
I'm glad.
Speaker 11 (19:15):
Yeah, it's true.
Speaker 12 (19:17):
Yeah, So so I just wanted to say that, like
what I tried to do still tried to do in
radio is like I have funny friends, and I'm like,
you should be on the radio telling your story, and
I'm gonna do it like Jonathan and Josh.
Speaker 4 (19:34):
It's gonna be a whole thing.
Speaker 12 (19:35):
It's just gonna be like a conversation that kind of
unfolds naturally. It's funny and then it'll kind of morph
into this American life story and that that's been my
plan for a really long time. And now I work
at this American life and I still can't get my
friend Lenz on the radio.
Speaker 6 (19:56):
Like I try.
Speaker 12 (19:57):
I like beg her so let me recorder, and I
lie to her that I'm not going to use it,
that that's not the plan. And now she's a very tense,
serious immigration lawyer, so she has a lot of stories
that are relevant to the current moment, stories that she
thinks like aren't appropriate to tell on the radio because
(20:18):
they're about her clients.
Speaker 11 (20:20):
But like, I don't see it that way.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
You know, we have a clip.
Speaker 6 (20:26):
I just so happened to have a clip, and I'm.
Speaker 5 (20:30):
Gonna record for me.
Speaker 6 (20:32):
No, but they I'll remember it better. Oh you can't.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
First of all, I can't even tell you about it
because it's a client. So I'm I'll just give you
no remember it better, ruh me.
Speaker 6 (20:39):
I see you like every day.
Speaker 11 (20:43):
That's like all the.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
Time, so that it's like every day you still that
is still something that you want to do.
Speaker 12 (20:51):
Yeah, man, somehow the way that you interviewed your friends
on this American life like decade and decades ago.
Speaker 11 (21:01):
You know, long long ago.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
It's a long time ago.
Speaker 11 (21:04):
Yeah, it's it's like the best radio ever.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
You know.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
It's it's funny to me to hear you say that,
because you do all of these like serious, important political
stories for this American life, and I'm I feel like
I'm just making like knock knock jokes on the radio.
And and to me, the irony has always been that
I'm not an easy laugh and that's been a problem
(21:29):
for me in broadcasting, because laughing can say so much
like when you're interviewing someone. A laugh can feel like,
you know, like a warm arm around the shoulder and
let the person know that you're enjoying them, and it
gives them confidence. And I'm not much of a laugher
and and I've suffered for that. But but having my
(21:51):
close friends to do stories with people who legitimately make
me laugh make me a better broadcaster than I naturally am.
Speaker 10 (22:03):
Should we introduce another person who makes you laugh?
Speaker 7 (22:06):
Yes?
Speaker 6 (22:07):
Please?
Speaker 2 (22:09):
So you're gonna stick around, right, you don't have to
go any place.
Speaker 11 (22:12):
Yet, right, I have nothing going on.
Speaker 10 (22:14):
Okay, Previously the host of it was too long, and
so I didn't read it. He now hosts the show
reply All with Alex Goldman. He has a small dog
which wants pete on Alex Bloomberg's desk. PJ Vote Everyone.
Speaker 8 (22:34):
PJA vote whoa p J Vote everybody, PJ vote.
Speaker 3 (22:48):
Whoa poo?
Speaker 8 (22:51):
Pool Bool, PJ vote.
Speaker 4 (22:57):
Pool Pool.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
You just received the human beatboxing of a lifetime. My
friend had that feel.
Speaker 7 (23:07):
It felt like three different stress dreams that I had
happening at the same time.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
Now, PJ. So when I was figuring out Heavyweight, I
was talking to you a lot.
Speaker 7 (23:20):
You're sort of figuring out like what is the show?
Speaker 2 (23:22):
Yes, And at the time it was sort of about
It had to do with this idea that, like every
the irony of living in society was that everybody knows
something about you that you just can't figure out about yourself. Right,
Like the ultimate irony is how one cannot know oneself.
Just as a knife cannot cut itself or a fire
(23:45):
cannot burn itself, a human being cannot really know itself.
Speaker 6 (23:51):
I think a fire can burn itself.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
Anyway, I was getting I was getting poetical all right. Anyway,
the idea was a little broader than Heavyweight. It was
just sort of like I'm going to help people figure
out things that they can't figure about themselves.
Speaker 7 (24:06):
You're calling it Jonathan Goldstein medicine woman.
Speaker 2 (24:09):
That was my wife's idea. That was Emily's idea, Jonathan
gold Seen medicine woman. And so you came to me
with a particular problem, which.
Speaker 7 (24:19):
Was I've been told or hinted at on more than
one occasion that there was something about my face that
was like inherently punishable, that you had a punishable face.
I had a punishable face, right, And I'm sorry, I
just like literally just feel a bunch of people looking
at my face like sizing out. It does not feel good.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
Sorry, And and how was it that you described like
what makes a punishable face?
Speaker 7 (24:48):
I think that people see like either a. I think
there's like a you can have it. There's a couple
of kinds. But one is like a kind of inherent
smugness and one is a sort of pnus. And if
you have both of them, I think it's like, yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
I want so I wanted to make PJ. I wanted
to eradicate that really I don't think it's true. But
any of that, but anyway, uh, and and the way
and I was re listening to the tape, and so
much of it was making me wish that we had
actually been able to do this story. You describe yourself
as a kid wearing like bifocals or something in it,
like a skin tight white turtleneck with Hawaiian punch stains
(25:30):
all over it, and I was like heartbreaking. Anyway, So
I set out and I talked to your friends, I
talked to uh former employers, I talked I really covered
a lot of bases. I don't know we ever talked
about this.
Speaker 7 (25:48):
I'm not not in detail.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Okay. So at one point, so desperate I was to
find because I it wasn't The problem with the story
was that in the end, people didn't really think you
had a punchable face, and so I felt desperate. I
felt like, well, I've got to find people that think
he has a punishable face. And so I went to
a place where I thought people would be most inclined
(26:11):
to want to punch you in the face. So I
went to a boxing gym, and I carried with me
a framed photograph of you to really get them riled up,
to kind of bait them. And so this is this
is tape of me talking to some of the boxers
(26:32):
as a boxer. Do you think that this guy has
a punishable face?
Speaker 10 (26:38):
No?
Speaker 2 (26:39):
Does he seem like he has a punishable face?
Speaker 5 (26:41):
Nah?
Speaker 2 (26:42):
Do you think that he has a punishable face? Nope, no, no,
I do not think he has a punchable face.
Speaker 9 (26:47):
Looks like a very talented, strong young man, a.
Speaker 4 (26:51):
Social, outgoing kind of person.
Speaker 9 (26:53):
I mean, it looks friendly, It looks smiling right now.
Would you want to punch him?
Speaker 11 (26:57):
Why would you say he has a punishable face?
Speaker 2 (27:00):
I think sometimes like people have felt like because he
seems so smiley.
Speaker 6 (27:05):
Uh, there's no reason to be punched in the face
just for being happy.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
I was this guy.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
He's a friend of ours. His name is PJ.
Speaker 4 (27:13):
Well, no, PJ.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
I don't know why people have been telling you that
maybe you have to work on your attitude. Guy, but
you don't look punishable. Man, all right, PJ, wherever.
Speaker 6 (27:21):
You are pe.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
So that was it. You didn't have a punchable face.
So they're applotting for you for not having a punishable face.
Speaker 7 (27:32):
I'm honestly surprised at how hard it is to get
boxers to say that they want to punch somebody.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
I know we have a photograph of the photograph that
I brought into the boxing gym. PJ, I'll ask you
to describe it.
Speaker 7 (27:46):
I feel like this goes against everything that you've said.
Just a ninny with a stupid, punishable face.
Speaker 2 (27:53):
No, no, that's not true.
Speaker 7 (27:55):
It's like it's like the smile is like I think
I'm better than you, but also worse.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
But like but like you're you're standing on a yacht
or something, you're standing on a building, a balcony, and you.
Speaker 11 (28:09):
You're wearing and you're lying yet more.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
If you're wearing a watch, Like, who do you think
you are? Anyway? Not a punishable face, Ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 4 (28:29):
Oh, PJ, you crack me up.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
AnyWho, We've got to take a short break and when
we come back, you'll hear the shortest heavyweight story ever made.
But first some important words from some very important sponsors.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
This next killed story.
Speaker 10 (29:00):
This was something that we really liked and it worked
out really well, and it totally fit the form of
the show.
Speaker 6 (29:05):
But it was just really short.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
It worked out too well. It all came together in
like just a few minutes and.
Speaker 10 (29:15):
So but so we made it into an animated video
for all of you here at the Heavyweight Live Show for.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
Your viewing enjoyment, and we will play it now. Chanelle
comes from a family that has a hard time saying
I love you. They hardly ever say it.
Speaker 4 (29:32):
Actually, not really at all.
Speaker 13 (29:35):
It's like a there's a death in the family, or
I mean, yeah, mostly if there's a death in the family.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
You've preserved the power of the the words in a
way I mean to me, it's just like I might
as well just be saying, okay, will feedback later, I
love you. There was a moment when Chanelle almost said it.
She was going through a hard time and her mom
had come to stay with her in Brooklyn. Chanel wanted
(30:04):
to say I love you just as her mom was
about to leave.
Speaker 13 (30:07):
I've been dropping her off at Penn Station. You know,
we sat there until she had to go. And she
starts walking away, and this is weird. I like started crying,
like falling in the middle of Pin Station. You know,
nobody cares because there's like a thousand people in Penn Station.
I'm right near like the switchboard or it tells you
the times, so people are just like staring at that.
And she turns around and she gets this weird look
(30:29):
on her face and she turns back around.
Speaker 11 (30:31):
She has to keep going, she's in line.
Speaker 13 (30:33):
And the whole time, I was like, oh my gosh,
I wish I had like told her how much she
means to me in that moment, and like how she
came at the perfect time and did all these things
for me, And I'm like, why can't I say I
love you to her?
Speaker 10 (30:46):
So?
Speaker 2 (30:46):
When when was the last time that you told your
mother that you loved her?
Speaker 4 (30:50):
I don't remember.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
That's a long time. And this is why I've invited
Chanelle here today to help create a safe place for
her heart to speak its truth and to not allow
her or her heart to leave that safe place until
it happens. Do you think there's a way to say
(31:17):
it to where it was sort of like you were
clearing away the space.
Speaker 11 (31:21):
Yeah, I think I would have to follow up with
like a I really mean it.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
I love you, mom, and I really mean it.
Speaker 13 (31:27):
I'm not trying to joke with you, I think because
I'm uncomfortable, I'm like it's going to show and then
maybe not.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
Everything's supposed to be comfortable, that's.
Speaker 13 (31:37):
True, but I have to I have to like have
a reason to call her right. I can't just be like, hey, mom,
I love you, kay bye.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
You know there's this song that comes to mind, an
obscure little ditty by a performer named Stevie Wonder. I
don't know if you're familiar with him, you know, I don't. Yes,
the song is I just called to say I love you.
How does a song go I just call it to
say I love you?
Speaker 6 (31:59):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (32:00):
I meet him from the bottom of my heart. What
about a sign off like okay, I love you? Yeah?
You want to get the pronoun in there, you want
to get the eye in there. You want me to
say it for you? She'll I feel like, what, like
it's a hostage situation. Who is that I'm gonna send
Chanel's pinky toe to just to let you know that
(32:21):
she's fine.
Speaker 4 (32:22):
She's fine. I mean she's not already afraid enough. But
I live in a city alone.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
Oh, I don't know. I wanted to say it and
I'm saying it now.
Speaker 4 (32:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 13 (32:33):
No, Yeah, she's at work, but she always calls me
when I'm at work, so it's probably fine.
Speaker 2 (32:41):
Does she pick up and say She'll probably say I'm
in richter and taft.
Speaker 4 (32:47):
Like what do you want? Missy. Okay, should I do it?
Am I doing it?
Speaker 13 (32:52):
Now?
Speaker 4 (32:52):
Okay? Here we go, Okay, answer the phone.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
Okay, yeah, hi mom, what do you want?
Speaker 4 (33:13):
What's up? I?
Speaker 11 (33:15):
Okay?
Speaker 4 (33:16):
You remember that time when you came to visit me?
Speaker 2 (33:20):
Yeah?
Speaker 13 (33:20):
Yeah, and then you were at the trains station and
I started crying. Yeah, Well, in that moment, I really
wanted to tell you how much you meant to me
and that you helped a lot that week because I
was like emotionally distraught and you cooked me all those
(33:40):
meals and you were there and you watched Transparent season
two with me and it was great, and I just
wanted to tell you.
Speaker 4 (33:48):
That I love you a lot.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
Oh you de strode about.
Speaker 4 (33:55):
Doesn't matter what I was just strad about.
Speaker 2 (33:59):
Why are you?
Speaker 1 (34:02):
No?
Speaker 4 (34:02):
It doesn't matter. What matters is I love you.
Speaker 10 (34:07):
I know that.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
Oh okay, wait a minute, what's something wrong?
Speaker 4 (34:14):
Now? Nothing's wrong?
Speaker 2 (34:17):
Are you sure? Yeah? Okay?
Speaker 4 (34:20):
That was really sweety you should now wow, wow, Mom,
this is so sentimental.
Speaker 5 (34:27):
Well, don't be crying.
Speaker 3 (34:28):
Don't get me teary eyed until I work walking the
hallways trying to get trying to get my steps on release.
But you know me and my love you too, your
mom love you too?
Speaker 11 (34:40):
Really, m okay, okay, all right, I'll talk to you
all right, okay, bye bye.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
I I'd like to ask Chanel and her mom Marilyn,
to stand up. I think you guys are supposed to
be here. Yeah, all right, yeah, And with that, I
(35:22):
think we draw our show to a close. On a
positive note, I would like to introduce to the stage
Matt Bowle, who's going to play us out, and Devin
Gwynn is going to be accompanying him with some human
(35:44):
beat boxing.
Speaker 4 (36:05):
Now that the fun it chose we turn into its good.
Speaker 14 (36:10):
Will dishes in last week's papers.
Speaker 4 (36:17):
Rumors and elections crosser and in the blackend I things
me the printing song every Door puts.
Speaker 14 (36:32):
Now that the last month's man is scheming with the
damage to POSSI take this moment to the side sign
and into if We meant it, and we tried sign
and into felt around for five two months that accident charge.
Speaker 2 (36:54):
Sign Into Heavyweight is hosted and produced by me Nathan
Goldstein along with Stevie Lane, Peter Bresnan, and Khalila Holt,
editing by Jorge just Special thanks to Zoe Chase and
(37:21):
PJ Vote and Jackie Cohen. Animation by Arthur Jones with
music by Christine Fellows and Blue Dot Sessions. Audio mixing
by Emma Munger. Our theme song is by The Weaker
Thans courtesy of Epitaph Records and was performed by Matthew
Bole with beatboxing by Devin Gwynn. Thank you Live Studio
(37:50):
audience for coming out tonight. Give yourselves a big Heavyweight
round of applause. Good night.
Speaker 4 (38:38):
Thanks Jonathan, great show before we go.
Speaker 1 (38:43):
We also want to thank Julian Quiznski and Bay Area
Sound for mixing this episode. Special things also to Joshua Carpati,
Chris Neary, and Victoria Barner. If you want to hear
the Little Mermaid story that Jonathan produced at This American Life,
you can find it at This American Life dot org.
And if you want to see the animated video that
we made to accompany Chanel's story, you can find it
(39:05):
on our YouTube channel, YouTube dot com slash Gimbletmedia. Again,
that's YouTube dot com slash Gimbletmedia. We'll be back with
a brand new episode of Heavyweight next week.
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