May 4, 2022 • 42 mins
Brendan, a self-avowed “Great Indoorsman,” approaches Montana’s outdoor recreation opportunities with trepidation. Meanwhile, his friend Danielle Henderson, who once lived in Alaska, rediscovers a part of herself she left behind when she moved to Los Angeles.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:15):
Pushkin. Okay, listen between the driving and the rain and
you looking at this bone and Bobby did weed and
like your fucking Mohammad Holiday, give me the phone and
let me do the navigation. You're gonna kill us. Anybody
just got here? What does this say? What? Uh? This
(00:37):
signe is one hundred and thirty three depths on Montana
highways in twenty nineteen. Driver responsible, look at one hundred
and I'm a good driver. This is not lost. Each episode,
a friend and I go to a place, see the
sights and try to get invited to dinner. I'm Brendan
(00:58):
Friends's Newnham the driver, and that's my friend Danielle Henderson
the backseat driver. I drive. I have a car this
episode or in Bozeman, month town. We're going one mile
to Bear Canyon Road. Yeah, we've just left the airport
(01:22):
in our suv rental and we're bobbing and weaving our
way into town. Bozeman is surrounded by six mountain ranges
and is capped by Montana's famous Big Sky. Would you
think you're our more mountain or ocean person? Now? Mountain.
I live constantly on a coast, but I just don't
take advantage of Although we are, as usual on the
(01:45):
lookout for a dinner party, Bozeman's main attraction is the
wilderness surrounding it. And to make that wilderness a little
less wild you need the right here. Okay, here we
go our first stomp Big Boys Toys. I don't know
if it's Big Boys as toys or Big Boys and
their toys, but we're here. Boys. We've got a paddle boards,
(02:09):
we've got rafts, We've got boats, we've got kayaks, canoes.
My name is Rebecca Wood, and I work at Big
Boys Toys and Bozeman Monte Cedars snowmobiles coming soon. Despite
the dazzling array of leisure craft, we're here for the
serious business of camping aka sleeping outside on the ground
on purpose. Not my idea of a good time. You see,
(02:32):
I come from a long line of great indoorsmen. But
if Danielle and I were going to run with the
Big Boys of Montana, we'd need to start from the
ground up. So officially the two person you could fit
two people, but it's not going to be comfortable. Yeah,
we're friends, but the secret our friendship as we live
three thousand miles away from each other. And then what's
(02:54):
in our cooking set? Utensils? Got a little salt and
pepper shaker that I think is very cute. That is
pretty cute. Little coffee pot. Is there an espresso attachment? No,
you're campaign. You're campaign by camping. It'll you're lucky. There's
the agg coffee. How do we heat of the pot
(03:14):
fire fire? You might want to look up a tutorial
video of how to start a fire first if you've
never done it. We've got one of those little um, oh,
that's a fork. It's extendable. Yes, My plan for retirement
is to get carpal tunnel from turning my marshmallow? Um?
Why why are first aid kids so prominently displayed? We
(03:38):
rent them out. If you guys want to take some
look at this guy, we'll take zero degrees sleeping bags.
It would be good for you guys to have. I
also do recommend bringing warm clothes. You never know what
could happen, especially in Montana. Like I said, you could
be out there and it could snow. So tell me again,
what's fun about this? It pushes your comfort zone more
(04:00):
than some net home watching Netflix? Right? Are you from Bozeman? Not?
Originally I've been here for almost fifteen years now, and
has it changed a lot in the time that you've
lived here. Yes, housing is hard to find. The economy
in Bozeman is crazy. There's a lot more people that
(04:21):
want to be here than we have room for. I
read that Montana has the most bearers of the Lord
continguous forty eight states. I believe it. I believe it.
You would feel more comfortable. We've got an electric bear fence.
Oh my god, look at this, Daniel. This looks violent.
Roll it out, stick those stakes in the ground, and
(04:41):
then it is battery powered. How do you pee in
the middle of the night with this thing surrounding you? Well?
If I pet on this, would it electrocute me? I
don't know if I have ever had anybody pe on one.
Communing with nature is proving as complicated as I thought.
So I turned my attention to a different sort of community.
(05:02):
You know, do you ever like entertain my preferred sort
of community, night life type of things? I asked Rebecca
if she knows of any dinner parties we can crash
this weekend? Um, I'll let you know. Well, on that note,
we're gonna run all this gear perfect and if we
don't return it. Something really horrible happens. Yep, Well, listen
(05:25):
to podcasts and see if I hear anything happening. You
could also to sleep in the car. Wait, you're serious. No,
we're in Montana right. Look at this cannon bear spray.
This is like riot gear bear spray. I think I'm
gonna have to work my way up to the camping
(05:46):
part of our little journey. We can work you all,
work on you over dinner. All right, let's see how
after bidding a dude to Big Boys Toys we reroute
to a much tamer starting point for our trip, Bozeman's
Main Street. Lafter right up left. I guess I'm sorry.
I'm just looking at a spinning horse on top of
(06:07):
a building, and I'm upset. Historic district is a blend
of old Western charm and contemporary businesses. Or everywhere we
look is red brick and glass storefronts, as well as
sporty bowsmanites going about their day. So at risk of
being a jerk, I can't really get into the mountain
outdoorsy physical apparel aesthetic. Like there's something just so not
(06:30):
sexy to me about practical clothing. I mean, like there's
some good looking people here, but they're all like wearing
like running shorts and shoes with rubber on them and
stuff like that. But it's also practical for a reason here,
you know, it's hunting season. Like these ladies are fashionable.
That's not my scene. You don't need my arms around
(06:53):
you if you have a patagonia that goes down the
negative ten. Oh, it's up here. We're arriving at Barley
and Vine, one of the town's many modern bistros. We're
here to meet Missy O'Malley, the hardest working woman in Bozeman.
Betty Butter about some butter. But she said this Butter's
(07:14):
bitter of it. I'm a DJ, I'm a CBS Morning
News anchor, I'm a snowboard coach, an auctioneer, a bit
or better made of better. Betty Butter bought a bit
of better butter. And that's about it. That's about it.
It's Missy quickly reads us in on Bozeman. So you've
got subarus, Mom's wearing Lulu Lemon. You're wondering if any
person in this town actually works, because everybody's at a
(07:34):
yoga class all day long. Forerunners, skiing, biking, fishing, hiking, dogs, dogs, dogs,
dogs dogs, lots of drinking breweries on every corner. Coffee
shops are on every corner. Outdoorsy, smiling hippies, lots of hippies.
White people with dreadlocks, White people with dreadlocks. What's up
with that? White people with dreadlocks? But is white people,
(07:56):
white people, white people absolutely, Thank God for the university.
So we have a little bit of culture. But for
the most part, white people in the snow. You know,
my name's Thomas. I'll be taking care of you. Has
anyone been other than a miss each other? The rest never?
It's our first time. We're gonna do wine. I'm gonna
do those delicious little pink bubbles, all right, Yes, yes,
(08:17):
thank you, thank you. Bozeman is seen as a very
snotty city. People calls bos Angelis, people call us bose Angelis.
Montucky surrounding Bozeman is rather read a lot of rural,
a lot of farm areas. Seven people a day moved
to Bozeman, which, when you think about a town of
roughly forty thousand a few years ago, it's it's quite
(08:38):
the number. It's one of those things though at the
same time, Bozeman's growth. If it weren't for people that
are coming in and restoring these old kind of rundown
hotels and make it a cool new restaurant hip again,
we wouldn't have kind of this this jibe that we've
got going on. I grew up in a small town
in upstate New York. One stoplight, yea everywhere. Over my
(09:00):
lifetime alone, I've seen it turned into like a suburb
of New York. And it feels bad. But at the
same time, at least it didn't get washed off the map,
you know what I'm saying. There's so many surrounding towns
that have just died out and become like you know,
parking lot right. Um. At the same time, I've been
actually having a lot of struggles with my constant hustle.
(09:20):
I'm still snowboarding. I'm thirty six. I've been teaching for
about fourteen years now. For For the dudes, it's like, oh,
that's cool if you're a ski bum. For a chick,
it's just not as common. There's like a poetry to
maybe a man doing about a woman doing it. It's like,
what's wrong with her? Right right? Like get your get
your shit together? Or like, what's there's my boyfriend right there,
that's rich. Hey, Danielle, he's he's he's an LA boys
(09:46):
from LA. I'm sensitive about that. Oh cheers, my friends, cheers,
chers cheers. When I when I first um moved here,
I was in the Murray Bar and Livingston, Montana, and
I said, it's my first summer in the guy, so
how long you've been right? So I'm in here about
six months? He said, we have about ten years till
you can have an opinion in twenty years before I'll
(10:06):
listen to it. And so I'm just past that, which
is super nice. The idea of being a man here,
like competence when it comes to like fixing things, yeah,
a fearlessness when it comes to the wilderness, being able
to catch a fish, hitch a boat. The rich can
do all that shit. Well, I certainly have a couple
of skills, but I still don't know cowboy boots. I
(10:28):
still don't own a cowboy. Is this the end for
you guys whoa to be a sensitive man? Is that
a perverse kind of thing in this town? Or I'm
not sure it's sensitivity or not. It's a fact that
if you if you're in New York and something. If
it's a really cold day, there's seventeen thousand businesses to
help you facilitate getting through that day, Whereas in Montana,
(10:51):
you don't have to cut the wood to put in
the fire, scrape the snow off your off your windshields
in the morning, start your car a half hour before
because it's twenty below zero or whatever it is. I
worked in Yelisa National Park in nineteen ninety three, and
I think my journals back then were like there. I
remember using the phrase like there are no guardrails, like
like you get straight up just die and not just
(11:11):
stuck with me. As the wilderness is this scary place.
I'm a civilization fan. It kind of checks your ego
of the door a little bit, whether it's getting caught
in a snowstorm or rain store mud or a mountain,
lion bears charging moose, all this up. I lived in
Alaska for four years, and I lived in Anchorage for three,
and then I worked and lived on the Aleutian Islands
(11:32):
for a year. That did greatly change my concept of self,
to be in a place that allowed you to these challenges.
That's how I feel about Bozeman You're only going to
get something out of it if you put something into it.
The love you take is equal to the love you make.
Is that true? Is that true? I think he's your
bison um. The last time I went camping, who was
(11:56):
probably almost a couple of decades ago, And I do
feel like this lingering anxiety about my ability to withstand
the wilderness. But it's like nature, like I can see
it from here right. No, no, no no. We call
Big Sky Country for a reason. Brother, I tell you,
my buddy Jesse always says, big medicine. It's a big
medicine day when you get to spend the day outside.
I'll take that into consideration. Thank you for supporting Danielle's cage.
(12:20):
He say, here's the other thing. You guys are all
city slickers. You need to step outside on one put
your phone down and just look up at the stars.
I mean, like tomorrow we're going to fly fishing and
dub we're gonna go to the thesemb of the Rockies
and see the times. After offering up a couple more excuses,
I eventually changed the subject to one this more interesting
to civilization lovers like me, like you guys, ever, host
(12:41):
people at your place or anything. I mean, I wake
up at three thirties. So week that's a little tough,
but definitely on Friday, let's go to the art Walk
the second Friday of every month. People have different art exhibits.
Little cocktail stations sit up so you can just stroll
and bop through each little shop down town, so your
Bozeman locals actually go to it. Well, it's it's back,
(13:03):
are you guys down? My middle name is gallery Walk,
gallery Walking. Let's the whitest thing you've ever said to me?
Literally blinded ever, I'm in the right place. Then the
guest gallery Walk, who we gotta get you out of
(13:27):
side Rose. They might have been laughing at me, but
I was smiling too for a different reason. I've managed
to drag our visit out long enough, and finding a
camping area for the night no longer made sense. Instead,
Danielle and I sleep in a hotel with walls made
of wood and brick, and we're the only growling was
(13:48):
from the ice machine in the hallway. We just passed
(14:15):
the Gelton back there. Danielle and I are up early
and we're going fly fishing and Madison the Gelton and
the Jefferson. Are the three branches. That's grant our guide
from trout Fitters. Turns out trout fits include waiters, big
baggy rubber pants with footsias you smush into duck boots.
(14:36):
It feels as if airbags have gone off in our pants.
We barely fit in this truck. Outside is all sky,
distant mountains and the occasional ranch. It's kind of brown like,
it's different shades of brown and tan grass and wet
fields and that's all. Hey, there's actually more cows in
Montana than there is people that are there? The actual
(15:02):
cowboys in Montana? Oh yeah, oh yeah, cowboy hat hair
was in the deck, gave away. You're a man if
you were, I like it. This is where we're gonna
fish yep, preferred spot on this river. Oh I got
(15:26):
a few. How can I have a feeling that you
have your own personal private spots? There really is any
secrets on this forever arrive? Are there chicks out here? Yeah?
(15:57):
Come on over here. Line goes right into your finger. Here.
Grant gives us a crash course on fly fishing alongside
a river as wide as a four lane highway. How
much line with our waiters? On, we waddle along the
bank in slow motion like topless astronauts holding rods. The
whole thing of fly fishing, though, is that you're trying
(16:18):
to imitate a fly on the top of the water
to trick a trout. Right, So that's a lift thumb.
There we go. Ah. Do you ever play baseball? Branding? Yea,
throwing it right to the first basement, right to the
chest right? Okay, yeah, hear that woosh the rod? Use
(16:47):
it too much muscle, It's hard for me. Got a girlfriend, yeah, okay.
So let's say that you want a guy's night out.
Do you go to your girlfriends say, honey, I want
a guy's night out. I don't care what you say.
I'm going out anyway. Or do you guys? Sweet talker
a little bit. I mean, I don't really have a girlfriend,
so but I'm going to guess you probably had. But yeah,
(17:11):
I've had girlfriends. Go ahead, and if I wanted to
go out with the guys, I would have to sweet
I would have to sweet talker a little bit. The
same thing with these rocks. It's not about muscle, okay,
It's more about finess. Feel that good when you see
that barber go down. Do you think you're gonna actually
(17:32):
feel that strike? Probably not, like opposed to like ring
your old barber fishing, we're just sitting there on the
bank with cool or bear and waiting for that barber
to go down. A lot of times these fish don't
do that. All you see with that indicator is it
just moves just barely, and that's your strike. So that's
where like the kind of meditative concentration comes in, because
(17:54):
you can't just be looking around and you know kind
of everything about fly fishing. You have to be an
active participant. You can't just sit back and wait for
something to happen. All right, you're ready, Danielle. Yeah, I'm ready.
Ran right, Nope, No, I mean my attentions. I'm gonna
(18:20):
stick one of you guys right down here. You can't
see that rock that's upsurface there. Yeah, do you want
to do that one, Danielle. The feeling of the river
on the waiters alone makes this really cool. See that, Brandon,
what happened eagle? Whoa? That's an immature bald eagle. I
(18:42):
know it's immature. So it's hair. It's well if one
thing it had a lot, oh if there's bald eagle
right there. Whoa, how you can kind of tell that
as you look underneath them, they got a lot of
white spots. An immature bald eagle still got a dark
head because a receding hairline. Bald eagle. Yeah, kind of
like me. Who oh, keep that right a little high?
(19:07):
Are they really trouting near us right now? What do
you think I'd take it out here if there wasn't
any trout in it. I mean, I don't know. I
just figure over greenhorns like it doesn't like are likely
to getting one's low well at times doing not exactly
the easiest thing in the world to catch. Yeah, it
seems that way. That's why it takes time, patience. I'm
(19:28):
looking over on Danielle. It just looks like a movie poster.
She's just in the middle of the river. Casson on
her own watch my hands slide dropped. When I lived
in Alaska, UM I made a concentrated effort to constantly
(19:49):
be out and to be hiking and you know, going
on glacier walks and you know, being out more even
just walking around towns I lived in. It felt more
communal because the elements were there and remind us all
that we needed help, like, this is not an easy
place to live. Um. I spent the summer is out,
you know, kayaking and canoeing and fishing, and so it's
(20:13):
nice to be reminded of this, that this is also
a part of me. I could also be aged. I'm
going to cast that again. You know, I'm learning the
difference between a good and bad cast. You could feel
it in your arms when it's bad, just like with
everything of every other part of my life, dating, writing,
(20:34):
you just feel it in your bones when it's not
working out. Oh, I got one, I got one on
the line where you go it? That's all right. If
you caught a trout, you're not allowed to keep it.
(20:55):
So on these trips we really try to emphasize that
catching release. Why is that, Well, we all came out
and fished every day, there wouldn't be anything left in here.
At the same time. Could be honest with you, Brandon,
(21:17):
I don't like eating trout. What you don't like trout? No?
Why not? I grew up fishing for walleye, all right,
and they're much tastier fish. Oh yeah, they called them
the poor man's helmet. Okay, I think I might be
natural natural in some way. What do you say? Could
you think it's fishing to be going for it? Maybe
(21:40):
my erratic nature. They're like, whoa, this might be a bug.
We got a bottom, But did I get something? Or
was I at that bottom? There's bottom? Oh man, I
don't think it enough. People spend enough time and actually
(22:00):
I won't even say that, let the back it up.
I don't think I spend enough time realizing how complicit
I am in my own unhappiness because I'm not taking
advantage of stuff like this. You know, I stay at
home a lot and I work, and so I'm complicit
(22:21):
in my own stagnation in that way. So what do
you think about life in Bozeman? Not the sleepy little
cut down it used to be. Yeah, what's happening? More
growth and that's good and bad? Right, A's double edged? Short?
Can you blame people for when to come here? No,
(22:43):
I get it. I've been around the country. There's nowhere
else I want to be. Yeah, I write, so I
make metaphors, but I think about like the trout, well,
oh there was a strike. Oh man, that was a
fish Jesus you know him. You're talking too much when
you go away I'm gonna really nail a fish, and
then I'm gonna be screwed because you've got the basket.
(23:05):
It's called it na. I'm sorry, but I think like
the trout I want yep, we were gonna be a
little cookers in there. Alright, alright, alright. What is the
fly fisherman's relationship to the trout? I don't know? Like,
what do you think about the trout? I got one.
(23:29):
I got a fish. If you want to run on,
you got that head? Check check it out out we
got it. Oh, it's so nice. I caught a fish.
I caught fish. Okay, go back in the water. Yes,
(23:49):
let me go back home. I'll catch you again. I
caught up. I got I think it's unfair and wrong
that I didn't catch a fishing gave her a better fly.
Do you have opportunity right there? I think they put
(24:12):
in her wheat bed. When Grant drops us back in Bozeman,
I asked him about a dinner party, but it's clear
he has other fish to fry, so we eat a
quick dinner Burger Barn and return to our lodgings. In
our living room, Danielle smiles as she knits at first,
(24:32):
I think she's gloating about the trout she caught, but
I'm projecting she's just calm and content. The big medicine
is working on her, whereas I'm just experiencing the side
effects drowsiness, muscle and joint stiffness, disorientation, moodiness, trout envy, fatigue,
sleepy foot, drymout, robbiness, panic attacks. It's a new day
(25:08):
in Bozeman, and those sounds are not coming from my stomach.
In Hot Springs, we're walking through the Sebold Dinosaur Complex
at the Museum of the Rockies. Montana is particularly rich
in dinosaur fossils. In fact, Bozeman is where Jack Horner,
the inspiration for the paleontologists and Jurassic Park, lived and
(25:29):
worked in the Hall of Horns and Teeth. We taken
the museum's famous reconstructed t Rex skeleton. Its remains were
found near here. Turns out even the tyrant lizard King
couldn't make it out of the wilds of Montana alive
to new branches from the tree of life, an important
(25:50):
adaptation for some early miners. And what made you want
to put an arrow in something? Somehow I don't want
to put an arrow in something necessarily. I just think
we're driving over to Extreme Performance Archery, where Danielle has
signed yourself up for a lesson. Now the way the
world is, I'm maybe subconsciously racking up some apocalypse skills.
(26:16):
I wouldn't mind going down with the blast like. I'm
not strong enough to survive in apocalypse like, so if
I go with the initial boom, that'll probably be much
better for me and whoever's in my life. Oh, Extreme
Performance Archery, good luck, all right, nice to meet you,
(26:37):
shooting you. Yeah, my name is Jim Smith, and we're
an Extreme Performance archery and we're going to give this
young lady a lesson in archery. The very first thing
that we would do was I'd have to check your
eye dominance to know if you're going to shoot a
right handed or left handed boat. So I'm going to
back up some and I want you to go like
with arms length out and look at my hat. So
(26:58):
now as I approach, you don't move at your left hand.
That means your left eye dominant and it could have
been a left hander this whole time. Who do I
call about this? You know, being black and growing up
in an all white town. I feel like I was
forced into a lot of stuff, but the fact that
I could have been left handed is the limit. We
also want to make sure honey equipment is quiet linked
(27:20):
through the air or seemed to have an allergic reaction
to arrows. So they're quite jumpy because you know, especially
like white tailed deer and things just just been chasing
them for the last million years or so. So I
need to keep my knuckle behind there, no anchor. This
let her go. Oh goodness, ain't that fun? Nice shot?
(27:42):
You're a fast learner, bull's eye, That's hilarious. I can't
believe I could have been lefty. These targets here on
the wall, to say, three remnants of a different time
(28:04):
um are definitely still here. We still have like archaeological
sites and tepee rings, and it's just a sign of
different times. It makes me think about my mortality, about
Danielle's busy learning about how to silently murder mammals. I'm
on a steep hiking trail at Highlight Reservoir, trying to
(28:25):
keep up with my guide. My name is Nissoya twenty stands.
My English name is Francesca Pine Rodriguez. Why do have
their spray. Why do you keep saying that Francesca is
a local activists. For many years it was her job
to increase enrollment of Native Americans at Montana State University.
(28:45):
I came across her in a photo exhibit I saw online.
In the portrait, she stands on a football field or
in the colors of her alma mater MSU and the
traditional regalia of her tribes, the Crow and Northern Cheyenne.
You know, before colonization, we existed in this land and
we have reservations which historically like that's reserved for us,
(29:12):
and that land that we got to stay on like
got smaller and smaller and smaller as colonization happened. It's interesting,
you know, we've been here for a couple of days
now and we've been seeing all these like different levels
of discussion about change in Bozeman. In this region, people
are getting priced out, and yet you're from a people
(29:35):
who were not even priced out. Yeah, I just straight
kicked out. Bozeman is known for like a meeting place
among tribes before Bozeman was a town, and who wouldn't
want to come here? It's beautiful. It certainly is Francesca's
bringing me to Grotto Falls. Like everyone in Bozeman, she's
(29:57):
convinced an inventure in the woods will do my spirit
some good. I grew up in southeastern Montana, on my homeland,
and I got to spend a lot of time with
my grandmother, Evelyn Hogan Bearground. Bearground, Yes, a beautiful regal name. Yeah,
she was regal. Yes. So she grew up on the
(30:18):
reservation in the days where you had to ask permission
to leave. Coming here for college, I came in two
thousand and six. So even just the change from then
has been pretty crazy because when I came here, like
I didn't see much people who look like me, and
even being that this is indigenous land, so I did
(30:40):
feel out of place a lot going off the reservation.
Bozeman is filled with nice people and the occasional asshole.
You know, this is kind of our pride and joy.
Right here. We have a fifty yard three D range.
(31:01):
You can shoot a four and they look plastic, but
they're like rubberized. Yeah it's a foam. There's a baboon
right there, Yeah, looks like my xby. You know why
you need one of them? And so you appreciate the
Sega win a lot more. Bless you for thinking I'm
ever gonna get married again? Oh those little baby ram
(31:22):
All right, baby Ram, you're done. Good grief. That's another one.
What should I get next? Here's a little longer shot.
I don't shoot the buffalo and unlocked that arm? Here
there you go, dance looks good? Whoa, that's dead sin
look at that call everybody you know tell him you
(31:44):
don't move to Montana. I'm moving to Montannah. Okay. This
dude in this prime archery poster here is he married?
And how soon can I help him get divorced? I
got somebody else in mind for you. You like him? Really? Yeah? Tall? Yeah?
(32:05):
Like six? How tall is easy? Six? Four? Six? Five? Easy? Easy? Fiji?
What is he doing today with? Cal him up? Make
sure he's still single? I will help him through it.
Three very handsome young man? Are they grownish? Oh? Cool?
(32:27):
I'm not changing. Okay, be careful. We are looking at
a gorgeous waterfall. The water is just falling on the rocks.
(32:51):
Since not just falling, it's thriving. And then you know,
you got this kind of little cave like thing on
the side of it that's kind of cool looking. There's
one I joking. I love it here, something that in
(33:21):
our culture that we do when we come to the water,
as you should, bless yourself with the water. Just take
a little okay and put it on your head. Wish
for anything, or for anything, or just blust results, thankful
it exists and that you exist in the same space.
(33:48):
As I drive back to town, it's the golden hour.
The view from my windshield looks like a screen saver.
Green trees, blue sky, big clouds, big medicine. There's a
warm feeling in my chest like I've just woken up
fully rested. That was so good. When I pick up
(34:17):
d from the archery lesson, she's beaming. We make our
way home and after a quick shower of nap, we
donned the most impractical clothing in our suitcases, lavender shirt.
We might not have a dinner party to go too,
but we have plans. It's time to head to Main
Street to do exactly what Brendan gallery Walk Frances Newnham
(34:38):
was born to do. We're here, mister Urtwalk himself. Hey,
how's it going? Hey broad Jessica, do you know Missy?
I do? I see here on TV all the time.
Do you know Frantasca. Of course she's a legend. Well,
we're really psyched that you guys could join us for
our walk. I'm so excited to stroll around fun. Can
I ask what you're selling? We're selling t shirts for
(35:01):
the Green Coalition of Gay Laggers. For Jesus, it's an
organization I formed back in two thousand and nine in
response to the Tea Party. This gallery features a lot
of local artists and they do a really good job
of native representation. Lights to the bullet shotgun shells. What
are you selling my artwork? And what inspired you? Honestly,
(35:21):
I did because I need more money to my art supplies.
So I'm trying to convince myself that I need the
stelling part in painting so bad. Every time we hang
out with you, as we can get progressively more dropped. Yeah,
I'm sorry. It's not that we're alcoholics. It's just that
everything is so social. Oh my god, there's so many
just truly beautiful men here, and it's like the horny
(35:43):
Tour of UFA. There's boots, there's hats, there's bullos, cow
hide vests. Do you think they have a cowhide turtleneck? Oh?
The first time in Yeah, I'm in low and she's
gonna move here. I caught a fish I was I
was doing an archery lesson. I hit the bulltlight twice.
This is my place. As Bozeman's last artwalk of the
(36:08):
season comes to a close, we returned to our rental
truck with its payload of untouched camping supplies, the four
person tent still neatly folded in its pouch, the first
aid kids with unbroken seals. There was still one last
thing we had to do. This is so beautiful. I
(36:29):
can't believe we hit a full moon. It's gorgeous up here.
I do honestly feel like even just a couple of
days ago, I would have been a little spooked, but
I'm proud of you were here. It's pitch black. We're
by ourselves. Now that I know you can shoot a
boone an arrow, I feel safer as do I did
not even know that I had that in myself. And
if we get lost, you can catch us a fish.
(36:51):
I can't navigate with a compass yet, but I can
definitely find water and catch us fish. There was a
point when I dropped out of college. I was eighteen
and I was a little bit lost, but I wanted
to be lost and has had this romantic notion, had
read way too much Jack Carouac and lived in a
(37:13):
van for a couple of years trying to figure out
who I was, and then came out the Yellowstone not
far from here, and got a job and was worked
in Mammoth Hot Springs, changing beds, and then ultimately became
a waiter. Old Faithful. I'm in this dorm room with
like five adult males who were usually fighting fires, but
there were no fires that year, and they were a
pretty rough crew. One night, we were walking back from
(37:37):
a birthday party. One of the roommates, this guy Patrick,
revealed he had a crush on me. I was like,
I'm sorry, I'm not attracted to you, but I'm flattered,
but I didn't you know how to process that. He
was an alcoholic and depressive. Later that night, my roommates
came back and he was gone, and they're like, what
(37:59):
happened to Patrick? I was like, I don't know, And
it turned out he had like ran off and he
was suicidal, like he'd always talked about suicide. And it
was elk running season, so you couldn't really hike outside
Mamoth Hot Springs because the elk were just like horny
and running around with their horns, like I would be
serving dinner to people in the elk, we would just
be ripping up the earth. But I was so upset, like,
(38:23):
we gotta find Patrick. And this older roommate, this guy Kevin,
was like, if he's gonna do it, he's gonna do it,
Like there's nothing we can do. Woke up the next morning.
He was on his bed and his chest was all
cut up. He'd razored. He'd cut himself up. I mean,
he was just like surface cuts, but it was bloody,
(38:44):
you know. And he was like, I'm a coward. I
couldn't I couldn't do it. I've never encountered like something
that intense. The stakes of life were much bigger than
me just playing Jack Carowac. Those experiences the wilderness just
(39:04):
scared me to death, and I decided not vonta really
put myself in that place again. Um until tonight. I'm
consistently proud of you for pushing boundaries. But we we
(39:25):
are on a at a dog park on top of
a hill, still firmly in the Bozeman city limits. I
mean the closest road is like at least a quarter
mile away from here. Nobody, Hey, how are you? Oh
you're so cute? High, Oh my goodness? What's Oh my
(39:52):
goodness too? But where's your body? Where's your body? There
is um? All right? I feel like we should return
this stuff to Big Boys Toys. Maybe in another twenty
years I'll come back to Bozeman and actually go camping.
I will be full grizzly Adam's wilderness. Then secret, just
come visit me? Are you meeting easy? Later? Oh, Jim
(40:14):
got to come through that phone number. Never count on
another man to hook you up. They always forget the details.
(40:52):
The lead producer on this episode of Not Lost was
Crystal du Hay. The show was also produced and written
by me Brendan Francis Newnham. Our associate producer was Jackson Musker.
Special editorial guidance came from Robert win Talk. The show
was sound designed and mixed by Crystal du Haime and
matter by Hannas Brown. A big thanks to my friend
and this episode's travel partner, Danielle Henderson. If you haven't
(41:16):
checked out her brilliant memoir entitled The Ugly Cry, you
should Not Lost as a co production of Pushkin Industries,
Topic Studios and iHeartMedia. It was developed at Topic Studios
and the show's executive producers are Me Christy Gressman, Maria Zuckerman,
Lisa Langang, and Lata Mulot. Production assistants on this episode
(41:36):
also came from Jacob Smith, Amy Gaines and Julia Barton.
Our theme song was created by Alexis Georgiopolis aka ARP.
You can check out his music at Mexican Summer Records.
A big thank you to the people we met this episode.
Rebecca Wood at Big Boys Toys, Grant Grigsby at trout Fitters,
Jim Smith at Extreme Performance Archery, Francesca Pine Rodriguez, and
(41:57):
Missy O'Malley now Missy Cashman her N Rich got hitched Mazeltov.
If you want to see pictures of our travels, please
head tonlosshow dot com and what would end at its
be without me asking you to head to Apple Podcasts
to go rate and review this show, but means so much.
If you like shows like this, they need support and
(42:18):
it's a great way to show it. Learn more about
Topic Studios at Topic studios dot com to find more
Pushkin podcast listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast or
wherever you listen to podcasts. I'm Brendan Francis, Newnham. Until
next time, bon voyage
Pushkin. Okay, listen between the driving and the rain and
you looking at this bone and Bobby did weed and
like your fucking Mohammad Holiday, give me the phone and
let me do the navigation. You're gonna kill us. Anybody
just got here? What does this say? What? Uh? This
(00:37):
signe is one hundred and thirty three depths on Montana
highways in twenty nineteen. Driver responsible, look at one hundred
and I'm a good driver. This is not lost. Each episode,
a friend and I go to a place, see the
sights and try to get invited to dinner. I'm Brendan
(00:58):
Friends's Newnham the driver, and that's my friend Danielle Henderson
the backseat driver. I drive. I have a car this
episode or in Bozeman, month town. We're going one mile
to Bear Canyon Road. Yeah, we've just left the airport
(01:22):
in our suv rental and we're bobbing and weaving our
way into town. Bozeman is surrounded by six mountain ranges
and is capped by Montana's famous Big Sky. Would you
think you're our more mountain or ocean person? Now? Mountain.
I live constantly on a coast, but I just don't
take advantage of Although we are, as usual on the
(01:45):
lookout for a dinner party, Bozeman's main attraction is the
wilderness surrounding it. And to make that wilderness a little
less wild you need the right here. Okay, here we
go our first stomp Big Boys Toys. I don't know
if it's Big Boys as toys or Big Boys and
their toys, but we're here. Boys. We've got a paddle boards,
(02:09):
we've got rafts, We've got boats, we've got kayaks, canoes.
My name is Rebecca Wood, and I work at Big
Boys Toys and Bozeman Monte Cedars snowmobiles coming soon. Despite
the dazzling array of leisure craft, we're here for the
serious business of camping aka sleeping outside on the ground
on purpose. Not my idea of a good time. You see,
(02:32):
I come from a long line of great indoorsmen. But
if Danielle and I were going to run with the
Big Boys of Montana, we'd need to start from the
ground up. So officially the two person you could fit
two people, but it's not going to be comfortable. Yeah,
we're friends, but the secret our friendship as we live
three thousand miles away from each other. And then what's
(02:54):
in our cooking set? Utensils? Got a little salt and
pepper shaker that I think is very cute. That is
pretty cute. Little coffee pot. Is there an espresso attachment? No,
you're campaign. You're campaign by camping. It'll you're lucky. There's
the agg coffee. How do we heat of the pot
(03:14):
fire fire? You might want to look up a tutorial
video of how to start a fire first if you've
never done it. We've got one of those little um, oh,
that's a fork. It's extendable. Yes, My plan for retirement
is to get carpal tunnel from turning my marshmallow? Um?
Why why are first aid kids so prominently displayed? We
(03:38):
rent them out. If you guys want to take some
look at this guy, we'll take zero degrees sleeping bags.
It would be good for you guys to have. I
also do recommend bringing warm clothes. You never know what
could happen, especially in Montana. Like I said, you could
be out there and it could snow. So tell me again,
what's fun about this? It pushes your comfort zone more
(04:00):
than some net home watching Netflix? Right? Are you from Bozeman? Not?
Originally I've been here for almost fifteen years now, and
has it changed a lot in the time that you've
lived here. Yes, housing is hard to find. The economy
in Bozeman is crazy. There's a lot more people that
(04:21):
want to be here than we have room for. I
read that Montana has the most bearers of the Lord
continguous forty eight states. I believe it. I believe it.
You would feel more comfortable. We've got an electric bear fence.
Oh my god, look at this, Daniel. This looks violent.
Roll it out, stick those stakes in the ground, and
(04:41):
then it is battery powered. How do you pee in
the middle of the night with this thing surrounding you? Well?
If I pet on this, would it electrocute me? I
don't know if I have ever had anybody pe on one.
Communing with nature is proving as complicated as I thought.
So I turned my attention to a different sort of community.
(05:02):
You know, do you ever like entertain my preferred sort
of community, night life type of things? I asked Rebecca
if she knows of any dinner parties we can crash
this weekend? Um, I'll let you know. Well, on that note,
we're gonna run all this gear perfect and if we
don't return it. Something really horrible happens. Yep, Well, listen
(05:25):
to podcasts and see if I hear anything happening. You
could also to sleep in the car. Wait, you're serious. No,
we're in Montana right. Look at this cannon bear spray.
This is like riot gear bear spray. I think I'm
gonna have to work my way up to the camping
(05:46):
part of our little journey. We can work you all,
work on you over dinner. All right, let's see how
after bidding a dude to Big Boys Toys we reroute
to a much tamer starting point for our trip, Bozeman's
Main Street. Lafter right up left. I guess I'm sorry.
I'm just looking at a spinning horse on top of
(06:07):
a building, and I'm upset. Historic district is a blend
of old Western charm and contemporary businesses. Or everywhere we
look is red brick and glass storefronts, as well as
sporty bowsmanites going about their day. So at risk of
being a jerk, I can't really get into the mountain
outdoorsy physical apparel aesthetic. Like there's something just so not
(06:30):
sexy to me about practical clothing. I mean, like there's
some good looking people here, but they're all like wearing
like running shorts and shoes with rubber on them and
stuff like that. But it's also practical for a reason here,
you know, it's hunting season. Like these ladies are fashionable.
That's not my scene. You don't need my arms around
(06:53):
you if you have a patagonia that goes down the
negative ten. Oh, it's up here. We're arriving at Barley
and Vine, one of the town's many modern bistros. We're
here to meet Missy O'Malley, the hardest working woman in Bozeman.
Betty Butter about some butter. But she said this Butter's
(07:14):
bitter of it. I'm a DJ, I'm a CBS Morning
News anchor, I'm a snowboard coach, an auctioneer, a bit
or better made of better. Betty Butter bought a bit
of better butter. And that's about it. That's about it.
It's Missy quickly reads us in on Bozeman. So you've
got subarus, Mom's wearing Lulu Lemon. You're wondering if any
person in this town actually works, because everybody's at a
(07:34):
yoga class all day long. Forerunners, skiing, biking, fishing, hiking, dogs, dogs, dogs,
dogs dogs, lots of drinking breweries on every corner. Coffee
shops are on every corner. Outdoorsy, smiling hippies, lots of hippies.
White people with dreadlocks, White people with dreadlocks. What's up
with that? White people with dreadlocks? But is white people,
(07:56):
white people, white people absolutely, Thank God for the university.
So we have a little bit of culture. But for
the most part, white people in the snow. You know,
my name's Thomas. I'll be taking care of you. Has
anyone been other than a miss each other? The rest never?
It's our first time. We're gonna do wine. I'm gonna
do those delicious little pink bubbles, all right, Yes, yes,
(08:17):
thank you, thank you. Bozeman is seen as a very
snotty city. People calls bos Angelis, people call us bose Angelis.
Montucky surrounding Bozeman is rather read a lot of rural,
a lot of farm areas. Seven people a day moved
to Bozeman, which, when you think about a town of
roughly forty thousand a few years ago, it's it's quite
(08:38):
the number. It's one of those things though at the
same time, Bozeman's growth. If it weren't for people that
are coming in and restoring these old kind of rundown
hotels and make it a cool new restaurant hip again,
we wouldn't have kind of this this jibe that we've
got going on. I grew up in a small town
in upstate New York. One stoplight, yea everywhere. Over my
(09:00):
lifetime alone, I've seen it turned into like a suburb
of New York. And it feels bad. But at the
same time, at least it didn't get washed off the map,
you know what I'm saying. There's so many surrounding towns
that have just died out and become like you know,
parking lot right. Um. At the same time, I've been
actually having a lot of struggles with my constant hustle.
(09:20):
I'm still snowboarding. I'm thirty six. I've been teaching for
about fourteen years now. For For the dudes, it's like, oh,
that's cool if you're a ski bum. For a chick,
it's just not as common. There's like a poetry to
maybe a man doing about a woman doing it. It's like,
what's wrong with her? Right right? Like get your get
your shit together? Or like, what's there's my boyfriend right there,
that's rich. Hey, Danielle, he's he's he's an LA boys
(09:46):
from LA. I'm sensitive about that. Oh cheers, my friends, cheers,
chers cheers. When I when I first um moved here,
I was in the Murray Bar and Livingston, Montana, and
I said, it's my first summer in the guy, so
how long you've been right? So I'm in here about
six months? He said, we have about ten years till
you can have an opinion in twenty years before I'll
(10:06):
listen to it. And so I'm just past that, which
is super nice. The idea of being a man here,
like competence when it comes to like fixing things, yeah,
a fearlessness when it comes to the wilderness, being able
to catch a fish, hitch a boat. The rich can
do all that shit. Well, I certainly have a couple
of skills, but I still don't know cowboy boots. I
(10:28):
still don't own a cowboy. Is this the end for
you guys whoa to be a sensitive man? Is that
a perverse kind of thing in this town? Or I'm
not sure it's sensitivity or not. It's a fact that
if you if you're in New York and something. If
it's a really cold day, there's seventeen thousand businesses to
help you facilitate getting through that day, Whereas in Montana,
(10:51):
you don't have to cut the wood to put in
the fire, scrape the snow off your off your windshields
in the morning, start your car a half hour before
because it's twenty below zero or whatever it is. I
worked in Yelisa National Park in nineteen ninety three, and
I think my journals back then were like there. I
remember using the phrase like there are no guardrails, like
like you get straight up just die and not just
(11:11):
stuck with me. As the wilderness is this scary place.
I'm a civilization fan. It kind of checks your ego
of the door a little bit, whether it's getting caught
in a snowstorm or rain store mud or a mountain,
lion bears charging moose, all this up. I lived in
Alaska for four years, and I lived in Anchorage for three,
and then I worked and lived on the Aleutian Islands
(11:32):
for a year. That did greatly change my concept of self,
to be in a place that allowed you to these challenges.
That's how I feel about Bozeman You're only going to
get something out of it if you put something into it.
The love you take is equal to the love you make.
Is that true? Is that true? I think he's your
bison um. The last time I went camping, who was
(11:56):
probably almost a couple of decades ago, And I do
feel like this lingering anxiety about my ability to withstand
the wilderness. But it's like nature, like I can see
it from here right. No, no, no no. We call
Big Sky Country for a reason. Brother, I tell you,
my buddy Jesse always says, big medicine. It's a big
medicine day when you get to spend the day outside.
I'll take that into consideration. Thank you for supporting Danielle's cage.
(12:20):
He say, here's the other thing. You guys are all
city slickers. You need to step outside on one put
your phone down and just look up at the stars.
I mean, like tomorrow we're going to fly fishing and
dub we're gonna go to the thesemb of the Rockies
and see the times. After offering up a couple more excuses,
I eventually changed the subject to one this more interesting
to civilization lovers like me, like you guys, ever, host
(12:41):
people at your place or anything. I mean, I wake
up at three thirties. So week that's a little tough,
but definitely on Friday, let's go to the art Walk
the second Friday of every month. People have different art exhibits.
Little cocktail stations sit up so you can just stroll
and bop through each little shop down town, so your
Bozeman locals actually go to it. Well, it's it's back,
(13:03):
are you guys down? My middle name is gallery Walk,
gallery Walking. Let's the whitest thing you've ever said to me?
Literally blinded ever, I'm in the right place. Then the
guest gallery Walk, who we gotta get you out of
(13:27):
side Rose. They might have been laughing at me, but
I was smiling too for a different reason. I've managed
to drag our visit out long enough, and finding a
camping area for the night no longer made sense. Instead,
Danielle and I sleep in a hotel with walls made
of wood and brick, and we're the only growling was
(13:48):
from the ice machine in the hallway. We just passed
(14:15):
the Gelton back there. Danielle and I are up early
and we're going fly fishing and Madison the Gelton and
the Jefferson. Are the three branches. That's grant our guide
from trout Fitters. Turns out trout fits include waiters, big
baggy rubber pants with footsias you smush into duck boots.
(14:36):
It feels as if airbags have gone off in our pants.
We barely fit in this truck. Outside is all sky,
distant mountains and the occasional ranch. It's kind of brown like,
it's different shades of brown and tan grass and wet
fields and that's all. Hey, there's actually more cows in
Montana than there is people that are there? The actual
(15:02):
cowboys in Montana? Oh yeah, oh yeah, cowboy hat hair
was in the deck, gave away. You're a man if
you were, I like it. This is where we're gonna
fish yep, preferred spot on this river. Oh I got
(15:26):
a few. How can I have a feeling that you
have your own personal private spots? There really is any
secrets on this forever arrive? Are there chicks out here? Yeah?
(15:57):
Come on over here. Line goes right into your finger. Here.
Grant gives us a crash course on fly fishing alongside
a river as wide as a four lane highway. How
much line with our waiters? On, we waddle along the
bank in slow motion like topless astronauts holding rods. The
whole thing of fly fishing, though, is that you're trying
(16:18):
to imitate a fly on the top of the water
to trick a trout. Right, So that's a lift thumb.
There we go. Ah. Do you ever play baseball? Branding? Yea,
throwing it right to the first basement, right to the
chest right? Okay, yeah, hear that woosh the rod? Use
(16:47):
it too much muscle, It's hard for me. Got a girlfriend, yeah, okay.
So let's say that you want a guy's night out.
Do you go to your girlfriends say, honey, I want
a guy's night out. I don't care what you say.
I'm going out anyway. Or do you guys? Sweet talker
a little bit. I mean, I don't really have a girlfriend,
so but I'm going to guess you probably had. But yeah,
(17:11):
I've had girlfriends. Go ahead, and if I wanted to
go out with the guys, I would have to sweet
I would have to sweet talker a little bit. The
same thing with these rocks. It's not about muscle, okay,
It's more about finess. Feel that good when you see
that barber go down. Do you think you're gonna actually
(17:32):
feel that strike? Probably not, like opposed to like ring
your old barber fishing, we're just sitting there on the
bank with cool or bear and waiting for that barber
to go down. A lot of times these fish don't
do that. All you see with that indicator is it
just moves just barely, and that's your strike. So that's
where like the kind of meditative concentration comes in, because
(17:54):
you can't just be looking around and you know kind
of everything about fly fishing. You have to be an
active participant. You can't just sit back and wait for
something to happen. All right, you're ready, Danielle. Yeah, I'm ready.
Ran right, Nope, No, I mean my attentions. I'm gonna
(18:20):
stick one of you guys right down here. You can't
see that rock that's upsurface there. Yeah, do you want
to do that one, Danielle. The feeling of the river
on the waiters alone makes this really cool. See that, Brandon,
what happened eagle? Whoa? That's an immature bald eagle. I
(18:42):
know it's immature. So it's hair. It's well if one
thing it had a lot, oh if there's bald eagle
right there. Whoa, how you can kind of tell that
as you look underneath them, they got a lot of
white spots. An immature bald eagle still got a dark
head because a receding hairline. Bald eagle. Yeah, kind of
like me. Who oh, keep that right a little high?
(19:07):
Are they really trouting near us right now? What do
you think I'd take it out here if there wasn't
any trout in it. I mean, I don't know. I
just figure over greenhorns like it doesn't like are likely
to getting one's low well at times doing not exactly
the easiest thing in the world to catch. Yeah, it
seems that way. That's why it takes time, patience. I'm
(19:28):
looking over on Danielle. It just looks like a movie poster.
She's just in the middle of the river. Casson on
her own watch my hands slide dropped. When I lived
in Alaska, UM I made a concentrated effort to constantly
(19:49):
be out and to be hiking and you know, going
on glacier walks and you know, being out more even
just walking around towns I lived in. It felt more
communal because the elements were there and remind us all
that we needed help, like, this is not an easy
place to live. Um. I spent the summer is out,
you know, kayaking and canoeing and fishing, and so it's
(20:13):
nice to be reminded of this, that this is also
a part of me. I could also be aged. I'm
going to cast that again. You know, I'm learning the
difference between a good and bad cast. You could feel
it in your arms when it's bad, just like with
everything of every other part of my life, dating, writing,
(20:34):
you just feel it in your bones when it's not
working out. Oh, I got one, I got one on
the line where you go it? That's all right. If
you caught a trout, you're not allowed to keep it.
(20:55):
So on these trips we really try to emphasize that
catching release. Why is that, Well, we all came out
and fished every day, there wouldn't be anything left in here.
At the same time. Could be honest with you, Brandon,
(21:17):
I don't like eating trout. What you don't like trout? No?
Why not? I grew up fishing for walleye, all right,
and they're much tastier fish. Oh yeah, they called them
the poor man's helmet. Okay, I think I might be
natural natural in some way. What do you say? Could
you think it's fishing to be going for it? Maybe
(21:40):
my erratic nature. They're like, whoa, this might be a bug.
We got a bottom, But did I get something? Or
was I at that bottom? There's bottom? Oh man, I
don't think it enough. People spend enough time and actually
(22:00):
I won't even say that, let the back it up.
I don't think I spend enough time realizing how complicit
I am in my own unhappiness because I'm not taking
advantage of stuff like this. You know, I stay at
home a lot and I work, and so I'm complicit
(22:21):
in my own stagnation in that way. So what do
you think about life in Bozeman? Not the sleepy little
cut down it used to be. Yeah, what's happening? More
growth and that's good and bad? Right, A's double edged? Short?
Can you blame people for when to come here? No,
(22:43):
I get it. I've been around the country. There's nowhere
else I want to be. Yeah, I write, so I
make metaphors, but I think about like the trout, well,
oh there was a strike. Oh man, that was a
fish Jesus you know him. You're talking too much when
you go away I'm gonna really nail a fish, and
then I'm gonna be screwed because you've got the basket.
(23:05):
It's called it na. I'm sorry, but I think like
the trout I want yep, we were gonna be a
little cookers in there. Alright, alright, alright. What is the
fly fisherman's relationship to the trout? I don't know? Like,
what do you think about the trout? I got one.
(23:29):
I got a fish. If you want to run on,
you got that head? Check check it out out we
got it. Oh, it's so nice. I caught a fish.
I caught fish. Okay, go back in the water. Yes,
(23:49):
let me go back home. I'll catch you again. I
caught up. I got I think it's unfair and wrong
that I didn't catch a fishing gave her a better fly.
Do you have opportunity right there? I think they put
(24:12):
in her wheat bed. When Grant drops us back in Bozeman,
I asked him about a dinner party, but it's clear
he has other fish to fry, so we eat a
quick dinner Burger Barn and return to our lodgings. In
our living room, Danielle smiles as she knits at first,
(24:32):
I think she's gloating about the trout she caught, but
I'm projecting she's just calm and content. The big medicine
is working on her, whereas I'm just experiencing the side
effects drowsiness, muscle and joint stiffness, disorientation, moodiness, trout envy, fatigue,
sleepy foot, drymout, robbiness, panic attacks. It's a new day
(25:08):
in Bozeman, and those sounds are not coming from my stomach.
In Hot Springs, we're walking through the Sebold Dinosaur Complex
at the Museum of the Rockies. Montana is particularly rich
in dinosaur fossils. In fact, Bozeman is where Jack Horner,
the inspiration for the paleontologists and Jurassic Park, lived and
(25:29):
worked in the Hall of Horns and Teeth. We taken
the museum's famous reconstructed t Rex skeleton. Its remains were
found near here. Turns out even the tyrant lizard King
couldn't make it out of the wilds of Montana alive
to new branches from the tree of life, an important
(25:50):
adaptation for some early miners. And what made you want
to put an arrow in something? Somehow I don't want
to put an arrow in something necessarily. I just think
we're driving over to Extreme Performance Archery, where Danielle has
signed yourself up for a lesson. Now the way the
world is, I'm maybe subconsciously racking up some apocalypse skills.
(26:16):
I wouldn't mind going down with the blast like. I'm
not strong enough to survive in apocalypse like, so if
I go with the initial boom, that'll probably be much
better for me and whoever's in my life. Oh, Extreme
Performance Archery, good luck, all right, nice to meet you,
(26:37):
shooting you. Yeah, my name is Jim Smith, and we're
an Extreme Performance archery and we're going to give this
young lady a lesson in archery. The very first thing
that we would do was I'd have to check your
eye dominance to know if you're going to shoot a
right handed or left handed boat. So I'm going to
back up some and I want you to go like
with arms length out and look at my hat. So
(26:58):
now as I approach, you don't move at your left hand.
That means your left eye dominant and it could have
been a left hander this whole time. Who do I
call about this? You know, being black and growing up
in an all white town. I feel like I was
forced into a lot of stuff, but the fact that
I could have been left handed is the limit. We
also want to make sure honey equipment is quiet linked
(27:20):
through the air or seemed to have an allergic reaction
to arrows. So they're quite jumpy because you know, especially
like white tailed deer and things just just been chasing
them for the last million years or so. So I
need to keep my knuckle behind there, no anchor. This
let her go. Oh goodness, ain't that fun? Nice shot?
(27:42):
You're a fast learner, bull's eye, That's hilarious. I can't
believe I could have been lefty. These targets here on
the wall, to say, three remnants of a different time
(28:04):
um are definitely still here. We still have like archaeological
sites and tepee rings, and it's just a sign of
different times. It makes me think about my mortality, about
Danielle's busy learning about how to silently murder mammals. I'm
on a steep hiking trail at Highlight Reservoir, trying to
(28:25):
keep up with my guide. My name is Nissoya twenty stands.
My English name is Francesca Pine Rodriguez. Why do have
their spray. Why do you keep saying that Francesca is
a local activists. For many years it was her job
to increase enrollment of Native Americans at Montana State University.
(28:45):
I came across her in a photo exhibit I saw online.
In the portrait, she stands on a football field or
in the colors of her alma mater MSU and the
traditional regalia of her tribes, the Crow and Northern Cheyenne.
You know, before colonization, we existed in this land and
we have reservations which historically like that's reserved for us,
(29:12):
and that land that we got to stay on like
got smaller and smaller and smaller as colonization happened. It's interesting,
you know, we've been here for a couple of days
now and we've been seeing all these like different levels
of discussion about change in Bozeman. In this region, people
are getting priced out, and yet you're from a people
(29:35):
who were not even priced out. Yeah, I just straight
kicked out. Bozeman is known for like a meeting place
among tribes before Bozeman was a town, and who wouldn't
want to come here? It's beautiful. It certainly is Francesca's
bringing me to Grotto Falls. Like everyone in Bozeman, she's
(29:57):
convinced an inventure in the woods will do my spirit
some good. I grew up in southeastern Montana, on my homeland,
and I got to spend a lot of time with
my grandmother, Evelyn Hogan Bearground. Bearground, Yes, a beautiful regal name. Yeah,
she was regal. Yes. So she grew up on the
(30:18):
reservation in the days where you had to ask permission
to leave. Coming here for college, I came in two
thousand and six. So even just the change from then
has been pretty crazy because when I came here, like
I didn't see much people who look like me, and
even being that this is indigenous land, so I did
(30:40):
feel out of place a lot going off the reservation.
Bozeman is filled with nice people and the occasional asshole.
You know, this is kind of our pride and joy.
Right here. We have a fifty yard three D range.
(31:01):
You can shoot a four and they look plastic, but
they're like rubberized. Yeah it's a foam. There's a baboon
right there, Yeah, looks like my xby. You know why
you need one of them? And so you appreciate the
Sega win a lot more. Bless you for thinking I'm
ever gonna get married again? Oh those little baby ram
(31:22):
All right, baby Ram, you're done. Good grief. That's another one.
What should I get next? Here's a little longer shot.
I don't shoot the buffalo and unlocked that arm? Here
there you go, dance looks good? Whoa, that's dead sin
look at that call everybody you know tell him you
(31:44):
don't move to Montana. I'm moving to Montannah. Okay. This
dude in this prime archery poster here is he married?
And how soon can I help him get divorced? I
got somebody else in mind for you. You like him? Really? Yeah? Tall? Yeah?
(32:05):
Like six? How tall is easy? Six? Four? Six? Five? Easy? Easy? Fiji?
What is he doing today with? Cal him up? Make
sure he's still single? I will help him through it.
Three very handsome young man? Are they grownish? Oh? Cool?
(32:27):
I'm not changing. Okay, be careful. We are looking at
a gorgeous waterfall. The water is just falling on the rocks.
(32:51):
Since not just falling, it's thriving. And then you know,
you got this kind of little cave like thing on
the side of it that's kind of cool looking. There's
one I joking. I love it here, something that in
(33:21):
our culture that we do when we come to the water,
as you should, bless yourself with the water. Just take
a little okay and put it on your head. Wish
for anything, or for anything, or just blust results, thankful
it exists and that you exist in the same space.
(33:48):
As I drive back to town, it's the golden hour.
The view from my windshield looks like a screen saver.
Green trees, blue sky, big clouds, big medicine. There's a
warm feeling in my chest like I've just woken up
fully rested. That was so good. When I pick up
(34:17):
d from the archery lesson, she's beaming. We make our
way home and after a quick shower of nap, we
donned the most impractical clothing in our suitcases, lavender shirt.
We might not have a dinner party to go too,
but we have plans. It's time to head to Main
Street to do exactly what Brendan gallery Walk Frances Newnham
(34:38):
was born to do. We're here, mister Urtwalk himself. Hey,
how's it going? Hey broad Jessica, do you know Missy?
I do? I see here on TV all the time.
Do you know Frantasca. Of course she's a legend. Well,
we're really psyched that you guys could join us for
our walk. I'm so excited to stroll around fun. Can
I ask what you're selling? We're selling t shirts for
(35:01):
the Green Coalition of Gay Laggers. For Jesus, it's an
organization I formed back in two thousand and nine in
response to the Tea Party. This gallery features a lot
of local artists and they do a really good job
of native representation. Lights to the bullet shotgun shells. What
are you selling my artwork? And what inspired you? Honestly,
(35:21):
I did because I need more money to my art supplies.
So I'm trying to convince myself that I need the
stelling part in painting so bad. Every time we hang
out with you, as we can get progressively more dropped. Yeah,
I'm sorry. It's not that we're alcoholics. It's just that
everything is so social. Oh my god, there's so many
just truly beautiful men here, and it's like the horny
(35:43):
Tour of UFA. There's boots, there's hats, there's bullos, cow
hide vests. Do you think they have a cowhide turtleneck? Oh?
The first time in Yeah, I'm in low and she's
gonna move here. I caught a fish I was I
was doing an archery lesson. I hit the bulltlight twice.
This is my place. As Bozeman's last artwalk of the
(36:08):
season comes to a close, we returned to our rental
truck with its payload of untouched camping supplies, the four
person tent still neatly folded in its pouch, the first
aid kids with unbroken seals. There was still one last
thing we had to do. This is so beautiful. I
(36:29):
can't believe we hit a full moon. It's gorgeous up here.
I do honestly feel like even just a couple of
days ago, I would have been a little spooked, but
I'm proud of you were here. It's pitch black. We're
by ourselves. Now that I know you can shoot a
boone an arrow, I feel safer as do I did
not even know that I had that in myself. And
if we get lost, you can catch us a fish.
(36:51):
I can't navigate with a compass yet, but I can
definitely find water and catch us fish. There was a
point when I dropped out of college. I was eighteen
and I was a little bit lost, but I wanted
to be lost and has had this romantic notion, had
read way too much Jack Carouac and lived in a
(37:13):
van for a couple of years trying to figure out
who I was, and then came out the Yellowstone not
far from here, and got a job and was worked
in Mammoth Hot Springs, changing beds, and then ultimately became
a waiter. Old Faithful. I'm in this dorm room with
like five adult males who were usually fighting fires, but
there were no fires that year, and they were a
pretty rough crew. One night, we were walking back from
(37:37):
a birthday party. One of the roommates, this guy Patrick,
revealed he had a crush on me. I was like,
I'm sorry, I'm not attracted to you, but I'm flattered,
but I didn't you know how to process that. He
was an alcoholic and depressive. Later that night, my roommates
came back and he was gone, and they're like, what
(37:59):
happened to Patrick? I was like, I don't know, And
it turned out he had like ran off and he
was suicidal, like he'd always talked about suicide. And it
was elk running season, so you couldn't really hike outside
Mamoth Hot Springs because the elk were just like horny
and running around with their horns, like I would be
serving dinner to people in the elk, we would just
be ripping up the earth. But I was so upset, like,
(38:23):
we gotta find Patrick. And this older roommate, this guy Kevin,
was like, if he's gonna do it, he's gonna do it,
Like there's nothing we can do. Woke up the next morning.
He was on his bed and his chest was all
cut up. He'd razored. He'd cut himself up. I mean,
he was just like surface cuts, but it was bloody,
(38:44):
you know. And he was like, I'm a coward. I
couldn't I couldn't do it. I've never encountered like something
that intense. The stakes of life were much bigger than
me just playing Jack Carowac. Those experiences the wilderness just
(39:04):
scared me to death, and I decided not vonta really
put myself in that place again. Um until tonight. I'm
consistently proud of you for pushing boundaries. But we we
(39:25):
are on a at a dog park on top of
a hill, still firmly in the Bozeman city limits. I
mean the closest road is like at least a quarter
mile away from here. Nobody, Hey, how are you? Oh
you're so cute? High, Oh my goodness? What's Oh my
(39:52):
goodness too? But where's your body? Where's your body? There
is um? All right? I feel like we should return
this stuff to Big Boys Toys. Maybe in another twenty
years I'll come back to Bozeman and actually go camping.
I will be full grizzly Adam's wilderness. Then secret, just
come visit me? Are you meeting easy? Later? Oh, Jim
(40:14):
got to come through that phone number. Never count on
another man to hook you up. They always forget the details.
(40:52):
The lead producer on this episode of Not Lost was
Crystal du Hay. The show was also produced and written
by me Brendan Francis Newnham. Our associate producer was Jackson Musker.
Special editorial guidance came from Robert win Talk. The show
was sound designed and mixed by Crystal du Haime and
matter by Hannas Brown. A big thanks to my friend
and this episode's travel partner, Danielle Henderson. If you haven't
(41:16):
checked out her brilliant memoir entitled The Ugly Cry, you
should Not Lost as a co production of Pushkin Industries,
Topic Studios and iHeartMedia. It was developed at Topic Studios
and the show's executive producers are Me Christy Gressman, Maria Zuckerman,
Lisa Langang, and Lata Mulot. Production assistants on this episode
(41:36):
also came from Jacob Smith, Amy Gaines and Julia Barton.
Our theme song was created by Alexis Georgiopolis aka ARP.
You can check out his music at Mexican Summer Records.
A big thank you to the people we met this episode.
Rebecca Wood at Big Boys Toys, Grant Grigsby at trout Fitters,
Jim Smith at Extreme Performance Archery, Francesca Pine Rodriguez, and
(41:57):
Missy O'Malley now Missy Cashman her N Rich got hitched Mazeltov.
If you want to see pictures of our travels, please
head tonlosshow dot com and what would end at its
be without me asking you to head to Apple Podcasts
to go rate and review this show, but means so much.
If you like shows like this, they need support and
(42:18):
it's a great way to show it. Learn more about
Topic Studios at Topic studios dot com to find more
Pushkin podcast listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast or
wherever you listen to podcasts. I'm Brendan Francis, Newnham. Until
next time, bon voyage
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