April 17, 2025 • 31 mins
On today’s episode, writer, comedian and host of Mamamia's 456 Club podcast, Cathrine Mahoney joins us to share her unfiltered experience of parenting a teenager. With her trademark humour, Cathrine Mahoney offers hilarious reality checks about what's coming in the teenage years from endless food bills to impossible-to-wake mornings, and the unexpected melancholy of the parenting moments you don't realise will be your last.
Whether you're in the trenches with little ones, or watching your teenager pull away, this episode offers the perfect blend of practical wisdom and emotional validation about the parenting journey that passes all too quickly, reminding us to treasure even the challenging parts of parenting.
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CREDITS:
Host: Tegan Natoli, Annaliese Todd
With thanks to Cathrine Mahoney
Producer: Tina Matolov
Audio Producer: Jacob Round
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, It's Analse Todd, host of Mamma MEA's parenting podcast,
This Glorious Mess. I'm dropping into your feed because we
actually had the host of four five six Club, the brilliant,
the funny, the clever, the witty, Kath Mahoney come in
and visit us and chat all about the teen years
and the parenting last that you don't see coming. It
was funny, it's unfiltered. It's hilarious, but also a little
(00:24):
bit sad, like some of the parenting moments you don't
realize will be last and I hope you enjoy it. Hello,
and welcome to this glorious Mess. We're embracing the chaos together,
ditching the judgment. I'm Analse Todd, and help. I have
a teenager. My elders just turned thirteen. Send thoughts and press. Wow,
(00:48):
oh my gosh, it's happening. I know I'm taking a
tolly and I had three kids in a year, so
they're now six and seven. And I'm so scared for
you because I don't know what it's worse, like three
toddlers all at once, or when I have three teens
all at once. I think three teenagers. Oh, don't because
(01:08):
it goes for longer. It's so true, especially when they're
like three of them spaced out of yet. Oh my god.
And today on the show, we're bringing in a friend, writer, comedian,
and host of Mumma MIA's four five six Club podcast,
Catherine Mahoney. She's a few years down the track than us,
(01:29):
as her son Lewis just turned sixteen, so she's going
to be our oracle into the future and scare us
by sharing the pain points of her current stage of parenting.
And we're also going to be touching on the things
you don't realize you will miss about parenting until they're gone. Yes,
all those little irritating, challenging things that you might currently loathe.
(01:52):
One day soon you'll actually might miss them. Yep. And
how you never quite know when things will be your last,
you know, the last last get me and the first
and then all the last. I think the last are
so much sad because the first exciting, and it's like
they've achieved something. It's likest is like and usually you
(02:14):
don't realize it in that moment. It's like you know,
or you know, the other day, I'm like, I can't
carry you guys to bed. Anymore, you're too heavy. I know,
I still end up doing it. I wish it was
the bloody last that is coming up very soon our
chat with Kather and I cannot wait. Oh, I cannot
wait too. But first, here's what's happening in my group chat.
So I came across a TikTok this week. Oh you
(02:37):
love it? Well, you've really got me into the cheek talking.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Anyway.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
It's a well known actor Kiri Kasara, and she shared
a TikTok hack on how to solve this dilemma and
save arguing. Oh okay, well now I'm yes, So like
are you are you? You're a decisive person, aren't you? Alice?
Mostly yes? Okay, how about in relationships, you know, like
(03:03):
when it's like, oh, what do you feel like for dinner?
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (03:05):
No, I am one trillion percent decis Yeah, you'd be
like I absolutely need to eat this. Yes.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
So this hack is like a marriage hack that saves arguments.
So basically it's bringing in It's called the fifty to
fifty marriage hack, and it's all about the percentage of
what you want to do and then your partner's percentage
of where they're at. And that's like your negotiation percentage rates.
Let me give you an I've got. Yes, I can
(03:33):
see the last I need pins and streams of your
life examples. I'm your boyfriend, my friend had I walk
in and we're going to go out for dinner. All right,
what are you leaning towards? What do you feel like
to eat for dinner? I feel like Indian ninety percent? Okay,
and tie ten percent. Oh that's really uncomfortable for me
(03:54):
because I don't like Indian food, but because I know
you want it so badly, ninety percent, Like that's a
pretty high percentage. I might have been like, oh, look,
I only wanted Indian fifty percent. I could have done
tie fifty percent, but you know what, because you are
like ninety percent wanting your Indian food, Yes, we'll go
with Indian tonight. Right. So it's about putting a compromising
(04:17):
It's like it's like putting your cards on the table
in terms of like, no, this matters like this much
to me, and this doesn't really matter as much to me,
And then the other person can go, Okay, well, I
can see that that really matters to you and this
doesn't really matter to me. So let's meet here. So
it's like a communication compromise tool. It is like compromise negotiation,
(04:44):
meet in the middle, and you can use it for
anything anything like yes, whether to go out on a Saturday,
Like yeah, do you want to stay in or go out?
Like how much do you want to go out on
I'm like twenty percent go out And it's like, oh,
but you know, I'm like eighty percent want to go out. Okay,
well I can find another thirty percent and meet you there.
Because when you're making decisions, it's so easy to be
(05:05):
indecisive with language, so you don't really know where the
other person's coming from. And often like sometimes and you're like, oh,
I don't know, you do know, but you just don't
like you don't want to say it, or you're not
sure which one. But if you put your two options,
like you're both picking two options at whatever percentage you want,
and then the other person brings their two options with
(05:25):
their percentages that they want, and then you together can
come up with a little and equally decided decision. I'm
going to use this tactic and totally this is my
second favorite thing You've ever brought it to pop that
what was the first The karaoke where there was women
fighting over the last time. Oh that was my first favorite. Sorry,
(05:46):
Oh you're going to say with my David. Oh yeah,
that's probably now third. Okay. So, Annalise, you caught up
with your mate recently, the very funny comedian and author
Kath Mahoney, and she wanted to frighten you about having
(06:07):
a teenager. Well, you've already frightened me about you having
a teenager, and also frighten us about what you now
can expect now that you've got one. Her son, Lewis,
has just turned sixteen, and I can't wait to hear
what she had to say. Kath Mahoney, Hi, welcome to
this glorious mess. I've brought you in today because help
(06:31):
I have a teenager.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
Congratulations, thank you. So I both made it this far.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
I know, just but it's my first and so I'm scared.
And of course we've all been absolutely terrified by the
Netflix series Adolescence. Oh, I know, it couldn't be a
scarier time literally to have a teenager. So you're a
few years down the track. Lewis is sixteen. Yeah, just
turned sixteen.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
My freak out because I keep reverting to what I
was doing at sixteens.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Oh god, I'm like, no, dying in a field.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
No, it's literally literally in a jumpsuit catsuit situation. That
never looked very good. So it's probably too short in
the leg dancing to rave music. Luckily, I think he
won't be doing that.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
No, definitely not in a cat suit.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
No, totally fine.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
If it's totally.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Fine, yeah, it's it's just strange, strange time.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Do you know why I was thinking this morning? I
still feel like a teenager, so it doesn't feel right
that I have one.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
As they get older, you realize more and more and
more how your parents were winging it. Like you look
to your parents when you were a kid, and you
were like they know everything. And now I have a
sixteen year old and I'm fifty. I still go, I
know nothing. What does Reddit say about that? Let's get
on Google. Let's call a friend. I don't know I
have called a friend?
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Yeah, so what like? What am what am I walking
into here? What do I need to expect? Look out for?
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Look? I think they all, well, you know you have
a boy.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
I have a boy.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
I have friends who've got daughters, and I go, oh, glad,
I've got the boy. I mean, I think I feel
very lucky that Lewis is a delicious kid, Like he
really is a good young man. But you know, stuff
happens and it is and it is as you are told.
Suddenly you literally feel like the uber chef money provider. Yeah,
(08:23):
I mean, I mean, where can I start the fridge?
So I'm a solo parent like you. It's just me
and lou or me, so I kind of know what
I've put in the fridge will be there tomorrow. So
if I overcook for dinner, that's fine. I can have
that for lunch or send it off for lous school.
Except teenagers do things like when you go to bed,
they just go back to the fridge. He's like a
(08:44):
he's sort of like a I don't know. He's like
a swarm of locusts through my fridge. Nothing stays there,
so you've got food ahead of you, got really long showers.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
Good?
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Not good? If they indicate what some other friends with
older boys have said, they indicate.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Right, what else comes?
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Food bill?
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Water bill?
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Food bill is ridiculous. Also, I want to go to
sleep now about nine o'clock. I would rather like, I
would rather wake up at sort of five thirty or
six in the morning and be asleep for nine Lewis
I have to like pitchfork him out of bed in
the morning, but he's still wide awake late into the night.
So we are definitely on a different trajectory when it
(09:28):
comes to sleep time.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
And can you tell them to go to sleep? Still
have juris junctions.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
No, you don't have a lot. You don't have the
power that you used to have when they were little. Sadly, yeah, no,
you don't have really any control.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
When I look at the difference between like my girlfriends
who have daughters going through this, I think for girls
it's the emotions. It's a lot of emotions. And my
favorite story is like my girlfriend the other day, she
was like, oh, we've both at our period. We're in sync.
My poor husband. Do people having their period at the
same time.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
My friend's just in that situation whereas Lewis and I
are his teenage hormones. And I was like, perimenopause, Oh
that's hot. So that was hard. That was like he
didn't know what was going on with his body or
his emotions. I didn't know what was going on with
my body or emotions. At least I'm on the hr
Tin now. Paul louis just having to push through. But
(10:25):
we did. We had the big discussion. You know, you're
going through all of these changes, so is mum. So
if you do not on the fourth time, I ask
you to take the Apple and Chris packets from the
corner of your room because it's not actually dedicated. Ben.
If you don't do it on the fourth time, I
will turn out like the Banshee from Ghostbusters.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
We had parenting guru Jen Mure on the show a
while ago, and I remember she said to me, She's like,
the thing with teenage boys is it's and I know
this isn't scientific, but it's almost like the hormones that
they're experiencing sort of crumples their front lobe, so their
actual function is less than it used to be. And
(11:05):
so they could literally walk past a pair of shoes
and say, where are my shoes. It's like they don't
see things anymore. It's so frustrating.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
It's really frustrating. I can have like bags of rubbish
by the front door and Lewis will step over them
like we're on the fourth floor of an Art deco building.
No lift, So you'll fill like a sherpa going up
and down. So it's like, if we're going, let's make
a job of it. He'll walk over that stuff, the towel.
The towel I've trained him to understand won't dry on
(11:33):
the floor, So that's been a really big shift for him. Yeah, binsins,
bin's irrelevant. I started to notice things out near the
bins outside our block and lou said, I just sometimes
I'm just try and throw the apple call. I'm like, Louis,
you know, come on, So bins are terrible, food is terrible,
(11:57):
Homework is a bit of a chore.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
Did that start out well? Because I feel like we're
starting out well.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
Yeah, you start out well, Everything starts out well. You're
in the honeymoon period. You really are, you really are.
And there's this kind of smell that they have. You
probably haven't hit smell yet where they just it must
just be hormones. I've checked with friends who've got older
sons and they're like, there's just a smell about them.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Although if they shower and the eyes showering.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
There's just like a smell. Although sometimes I will catch
Lewis just putting his deodorant like over his jumper. Oh god,
we need to we need to go into the armpit situation.
It's not going to help if it's just on your jumper. Yeah,
they're a joy. They also don't you talk to them,
So that lovely sort of two way conversation that you
(12:44):
have stops and only resumes if they want to chat.
So out of nowhere, they'll ask you something and it
will be quite a deep conversation. It's usually in the
car for me and I side by side the face
and you're like, oh, I'm back in a real person.
Let's have a conversation, you know. And then other times,
(13:07):
like on the weekend we went down the coast to
spend some time with my folks who are here from
the UK and Lewis, I'm so excited we're all going
to be together as a family. And then he got
in the car and for the next hour and half
put his ear pods in sign the front with me.
I just was like, right, he's.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
A great time. He's usually much better, I promise.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
But this is all normal. Apparently this is all normal.
And I have to say, you know, so far touched
towards he's a pretty good kid.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
One of the things that I've heard is that can
be really tricky for people. And I think it was
different for you and I because we had the solo
parenting experience, so we had independence already. But it's that
it's that real letting go. And if you don't have
something else in your life other than your children and
they are your entire focus because they are pulling away
(13:56):
from you, that can be so tricky because then you're
a bit like, oh, what do I do now.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
It's a funny thing, you know, I lou he was
five when my ex husband and I split up. So
for the last almost well eleven years now, we've never
we haven't been together all the time, so you do
get used to that. What I was talking to another
friend who's a solo parent with it with teenage kids
was as they get older, having them in the house
(14:23):
can feel more lonely because when they're not there, you're
out and about doing your own thing. When they are there,
they're still at an age where you have to be there,
cook the dinner, make sure they are doing the homework,
eventually going to bed. You know, you can't be out gallivanting.
You're still a parent, but they want zero to do
with you. So it's like you have gone at the
times where you're like, should we watch a show together?
(14:46):
Totally gone, No, So you literally will make the food.
They may or may not converse with you while you
eat the food together. Then they're in the bedroom. That's it.
So you know, I find that more lonely think sometimes
and when then when he's not there.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
I love watching te I mean we don't watch kid shows.
We watch like Real Housewives of Sydney bald Ones that
may stop, that stopped for us, that's actually happened.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Yeah. And also it's that moment where you realize that
they are their own person and not not not that
you ever think that they're like possession, but when they're smaller,
they hold hand, You hold hands with them walking across
the road, You hug them, you bath and whatever you do.
And then they get to a point obviously where it's
like it's their personal space, you know. So now I'm like,
(15:34):
can have a hug? You know, you don't just go
in for the hug. Can I have a hug? And
nine nights up of ten, it's like oh, or it's
a cheek or it's okay, but can you put some
money in my spriggy or are we having sushi? Can
you not cook? I'll give you a hug. Like it's
just real like trade off.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
And it's that thing where you go from being the
main character in their story to the driver. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Literally, but I think it comes back round apparently. And
as my mum said, as I said, she's here from
the UK, we're talking about it at sixteen. If he
didn't have the life that he had and his you know,
fishing and surfing and sports and school friends and he
just wanted to spend twenty four to seven with me
(16:19):
watching Watch, that would also be concerning. So you know
that everything that they're doing touch Wood is on track
for life, but it's not easy as a parent.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
No, it's not coming up. After this shortbreak, Kath's shares
the moments she misses, and some of the last that
you don't realize will be your last until they go on.
I'm going to tissue for this take. That's next. So
Kath Mahony, we've just been talking about the pain points
(16:55):
of parenting teens, and you know, you're the sun at
age sixteen. You've only got two more years until he's
an actual grown up.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Which is just scare we're about to start driving lessons.
It's very scary awful.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
I wanted to sort of reflect and think back. For
people who are listening, they're in the trenches. They have
what we're experiencing and going through to look forward to,
but what they're currently in. Sometimes, you know, at the
end of the day, you're like, oh, I've been pushing
that kid on the swing for fifty hours this week,
(17:33):
and it's just like the little things that great you.
But when you're coming out the other side, how does
it feel looking back retrospectively that that was like the
last Oh.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
It's very sad. I mean, it's funny. You do put
your rose colored glasses on, you know, I did. I
did think about pushing Leu on the swing the other day.
I was like, I never did that again. I mean
I will, but he would be a big person on
the swing and then I have to snap out of
it and go, remember how much you hey the park,
especially as a solo parent. He hated that. Why the
(18:04):
other day, my boobs did this weird thing.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
Did they tingle?
Speaker 2 (18:08):
They tingled, and I was like, oh my gosh, breastfeeding.
I'll have a breastfeed again. And again I'm like, why
am I missing the soreness? But it's kind of you
don't know it's your last you know, you don't know
it's the last time you're going to breastfeed, if that
was what you chose to do. Until it's over, you
don't realize that it's going to be the last time
(18:29):
that they want to hold your hat, that they try
to hold your hand across the road. So it is,
it is sad. Things like I want to put Cars,
the movie on which was the bane of my life.
Now I want to watch Lightning McQueen, yeah, with lou
because we but you know, on the millions time, you
were like, I can't watch this anymore. But now I'm like,
I'd love to just watch Cars, but he won't watch
(18:50):
anything anything, not really No.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
That's I honestly like, this will be a dark day
for me. I love watching DV with my kids.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Also, what do I miss? I miss the baby smell? Yes,
kind of it just goes so quickly, and you do
you just those mornings when they wake you up at
five in the morning, You're like, I cannot wait till
you're a teenager and you don't want to get out
of bed. Yeah, and yet now I think I miss that.
I miss being the stylist. Oh right, I miss being
(19:23):
like in charge of the wardrobe and the hair. That
is really difficult to let go of because as my
mum did not like the way that I dressed at sixteen,
all my hairstyles. I'm feeling the sort of saying about loo.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
I liked when I could put him in his little navy.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Mite striper, and I like the little sailor.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
I liked when I could be like, oh, could we
just have the peaky blinders kind of can we have
that kind of nineteen twenties undercut that's really cool? Now
it's that horrible kind of straight line mullet thing that's
still hanging around like a bad smell. Let that go.
What do you think you'll miss?
Speaker 1 (19:59):
I remember, but when you've got two and they're little,
so you've got like a little baby and a toddler,
and it's like that witching hour, And I remember like
having anxiety leading up to like four point thirty five
o'clock because I knew it was coming, because you've got
to do the bath and the dinner, and then everyone's
got different schedules and feeding and everyone's just cranky. But
(20:21):
now I think just having them like giggling and gurgling
in a bath and playing with little toys, like how delightful.
But at the time it was the most stressful thing
in the universe ever.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
It was horrible. But I'm the same. I missed that washing,
the hair, the toys, the come on, you've been in
long enough, let's get out, and exactly that knowing that
you're on that kind of bedtime role where it's like
all going to be smacked down by seven.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Yeah, And I even just I loved because I had
quite a lot of time at home with babies and
on matt leave, and I did freelancing, so I was
really lucky. I had a lot of time at home
and I loved. This sounds ridiculous, but just make believe
play like I loved, you know, making up pretend worlds
(21:10):
and doing vets and all of that silly stuff. Well,
just even just flying around toys to music. We used
to How to Train Your Drag Dragon was our cars,
and so we had all the drag and figurines and
we'd put the movie soundtrack on and just like run
around flying dragons, like, oh, it's so fun.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
It's hard isn't it when it goes? And you also
know what's in the fridge because they can't reach the fridge. Yes,
so that was I do miss that, and they miss being,
you know again, being the chef, but going like this
is the option. There is no other option. You don't
even know. You don't like this yet, so you'll be
eating this, yes, and being asked things mom, mom, like
that snow. I'm like there were snow anything.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
Because they just ask Siri. Yes, they don't need to ask.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
They don't ask us anymore.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Siri is their new parent. Now.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
I almost missed the car seat because I thought it
was struck in the back, and then I thought, no,
I don't miss the car seat, And that's sort of
point whether you're about to break you back. They're getting
a bit too heavy to put them in the car seat. Yes,
don't miss the prams. No, I definitely don't miss a
prem don't miss nappy changing. No, don't miss having to
have a handbag the size of a house with all
(22:18):
of the stuff in.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Yeah, do you I don't miss I've got it?
Speaker 2 (22:21):
Are you still on that? Oh?
Speaker 1 (22:22):
I've got a big hairbag, but it's alicely full of
like makeup and do you I don't like stuff for me.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Your stuff exactly much better than raisins and tissues and
nappy white.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
And corn thin's. Oh, kids parties.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
I never thought I would miss kids parties. Oh you do,
miss well? I miss the fact that you get to
a point where you're not even included in the birthday. Yeah,
so that's you know, you go from I used to
have real trauma around the party and the cake and
what you're doing and the lolli bags and the activities.
That was always really stressful. Then you get to a
(22:56):
point where you can do the let's go bowling or
pick four friends, go the movies, And then you get
to the point where it's like, can you just put
some money on my card? Mom? And Christmas that would
be my last big miss. Oh no, Christmas changes, doesn't
it when their thoughts around the big Man in Red change.
I don't know who's listening to this, so I don't
want any spoiler alerts around Santa. But yeah, Christmas. Christmas
(23:20):
when they would wake up at five and you would say,
we're not going downstairs to see if he's been for
another two hours now, it would be about eleven o'clock,
Lou And it's my birthday on Christmas, so I'm a
bit like, let's go, oh, what have we got?
Speaker 1 (23:36):
No, that's half the day. The magic of Christmas is gone.
The Grinch has taken over.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
Yes, and Lo's good when he's with Dad because they
have he's got a little sister, so he allows the
magic when he's you know, he's if it's a dad Christmas.
But at mine, yeah, zero Christmas feels, and that that
feeling when he would when he officially stopped wanting to
watch any Christmas movie in the lead up, or want
(24:04):
to put the tree up, or help with the tree,
or decorate the tree that I would then redecorate when
you went.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
To bed, because it's so bad every time.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
That was crushing as a Christmas person, that's probably that's
probably one of the things I miss the most.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
I cannot believe that Christmas will be dead soon.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
Hallowe No, you've got how old the youngest ten you've got?
You've got a few years because they hang on for
a while because they don't want to admit they're not
sure in case the presents do stop.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
Oh no, we're definitely beyond the fantasy of Christmas.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
Okay, but they're still so easy to fall into it.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
Yes, love, I enjoy that, Yes, enjoy that. So for
anyone listening, if you're waking up at five am this
coming Christmas, just remember Kath Mahoney will be would love
to join it.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Because it's like I just you get to do it.
You forget, You don't realize that you're going to miss
all of these festivities.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
So it's the rituals. Yes, I hadn't really thought about
the rituals. It's like, yeah, the trick or treating, the
egg hunting, they're putting out the little carrots for Santa, and.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
The tooth fairy when they get between fifty cents and
fifty dollars depending on what you've got, and when the
tooth comes out. So yeah, there would be some of
the things I miss.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
I hadn't thought about that, the rituals.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
Maybe maybe the upside is enjoy all of the bits, Yes,
even the pushing of the swing in the park and
the prem yeah hill, even knowing that the stuff in
your hair may or may not be regogated food.
Speaker 1 (25:37):
No, and you didn't eat the joy and the giggles
of the bath. That would be my thing like, I
wish I didn't dread that so much, And I just
really like lapped up the magic and the joy of
little babies playing in water, so.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
Silly, silly and fun fun because they That's another thing
with teenager I guess their fun doesn't necessarily involve you anymore.
When they're little and they're joyful and fun, you get
to experience it. When they're a bit older. Yeah, you're
not invited to the fun bit.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
Yeah, because you're not the main character.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
Not the main character. You are the chef or the driver. Yeah,
and you also have all this. What I've noticed about
being a parent to a teenager is you hold on
to things, you know, Like if Lou's upset about a
situation about not being picked for something or sport, I
will then have trauma for like the next week, and
(26:30):
then the next time I mentioned it, he said, I.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
Oh't know, I've moved on. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
He had a school dance. He's a bit taller now,
but he's quite little. A couple of years ago he
had a school dance. With it that he's in a
same sex school. They had a school dance and he
was quite upset because some of the girls wouldn't dance
with him and laugh because he's little. Oh, and I
mentioned it the other day because he's had a gross
spurt now he's getting quite tall, and I said, I
said I would still if I met those girls, I
(26:54):
would end to them. And Lewis was like, oh, Mom,
I can't even remember that. I lie in bed wondering
who they were and you've let it go. Yeah, So
I think that's my other bit of advice. Yet, don't
don't fester on things. They seem to move through stuff
pretty quickly.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
Tevages resilience.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
Resilience, that's a society resilience and a spriggy card. Spriggy card.
Lewis has learnt now to say when he calls how
are you, how's your day, it's like he's reading it
for a card, like a Telly kind of callern Can
I have some money in my card? You used to
just be can you put somebody on my spriggy? Now
he knows well enough to ask how I am.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
He's probably got a little script he does.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
He does. I think he also works for an electricity company.
To the other answer, when those numbers you don't know
it's from me?
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Lewis, how are you.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
How's your day? You put somebody on my spriggy and
try our electricity brand?
Speaker 1 (27:47):
Right well, Cathermone, thank you so much. I don't feel terrified. No,
I thought i'd feel terrified. I think it's just about
embracing whatever stage you're at, really, I think.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
So, and realizing that what you might want is different
to what you're actually going to get. But as I said,
I wouldn't want those to just want to be hanging
out with his mum at sixteen. No.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
Well, but now I understand why.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
Right, I'd like him to acknowledge me in a group
of people, but you know, that's just different.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
And now I understand why my mum and my parents
are so insufferable with my kids, because it's like that's
when you get to live it again. Yes, a grandkids and.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
They really love the grandparents, don't Yes.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
And you, And that's why they're so obsessed and insufferable
and clinging on to them because they know that they
one day also don't want.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
To borrow them.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
No, No, oh god, so much, so much, sad stuff. Great,
Thank you so much, Catherine Hooney. We love you and
thanks for coming on this glorious miss Thanks for having me, Oh,
that was an emotion journey. Yeah, she's so but she's
so funny. She is laugh but she she got me thinking, Yeah,
(29:00):
you could be thinking about like the last that, Like
I didn't really like that. My kids are only six
and seven. You know, it's not as they're moving out
or you know, yeah, but you don't appreciate them. It's
like that song you don't know till it's gone. Literally
life is a song. But like I I know that
(29:20):
I absolutely wished my kids baby days away because I
had three in a year and then so I had
three babies at one time and it was a dead set,
logistical nightmare. So I literally woke up every day going,
I can't wait till they're older, or I can't wait
till they're at school, or I can't wait till they
can walk. I can't wait till they can get them
(29:40):
pour themselves a cup of jews. I can't wait. I
would like literally wished away the Goo goo gaga. But
with hindsight, now, do you have any regrets about wishing
those moments or that time away?
Speaker 2 (29:53):
Yeah, I do a little bit.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
I know that I look at like photos and videos
of when, especially the twins love Bando too, but I
think I didn't get to enjoy Well, I did get
to enjoy it, because I did enjoy it, but it
also it was mayhem. But I know that if, like
I didn't have another one so close together after having
(30:15):
the twins, I would have probably been a lot more
relaxed and soaked it up a little bit more like
you know, having the twins and then you know, end
my time with Banjo and his time, you know what
I mean. I feel like I definitely wished it away,
and I just I look back at those videos of them,
you know, like when they're just starting to string words
(30:36):
together and sentences and little voice and their cute little
walks like they're like wattles and stuff like that, Like
I look at that now and like, I don't know,
maybe every mom does that, though yes, oh definitely. I
cannot look at a video of my Chie being a
toddler without going yeah, So maybe it's like, yeah, maybe
I'm not as regretful as I think I am, because
(30:56):
you know, you only you only go into whatever mode
you're feeling at the time, right, which for me was
probably utter overwhelm. But even I look at photos of
my kids twelve months ago, and I'm like, oh, look
how tiny they were compared to now, Like, they just
grow up. They just grow up so bloody fast, don't they. Yeah,
And it's true what they say that the days are long,
(31:18):
but the years are short, and that flyby is my
dead set motto. They are because my days was so
long and they're just as long now, but the years
are getting shorter and shorter and shorter. I think everyone
would agree. Well, thank you so much for listening to
this glorious mess. We hope you enjoyed the episode, and
if you did, we'd love it if you left a
(31:40):
rating and a review. This episode was produced by Tina Madalov,
with audio production by Jacob Brown. See Yeah, I'll see
you next time
Hi, It's Analse Todd, host of Mamma MEA's parenting podcast,
This Glorious Mess. I'm dropping into your feed because we
actually had the host of four five six Club, the brilliant,
the funny, the clever, the witty, Kath Mahoney come in
and visit us and chat all about the teen years
and the parenting last that you don't see coming. It
was funny, it's unfiltered. It's hilarious, but also a little
(00:24):
bit sad, like some of the parenting moments you don't
realize will be last and I hope you enjoy it. Hello,
and welcome to this glorious Mess. We're embracing the chaos together,
ditching the judgment. I'm Analse Todd, and help. I have
a teenager. My elders just turned thirteen. Send thoughts and press. Wow,
(00:48):
oh my gosh, it's happening. I know I'm taking a
tolly and I had three kids in a year, so
they're now six and seven. And I'm so scared for
you because I don't know what it's worse, like three
toddlers all at once, or when I have three teens
all at once. I think three teenagers. Oh, don't because
(01:08):
it goes for longer. It's so true, especially when they're
like three of them spaced out of yet. Oh my god.
And today on the show, we're bringing in a friend, writer, comedian,
and host of Mumma MIA's four five six Club podcast,
Catherine Mahoney. She's a few years down the track than us,
(01:29):
as her son Lewis just turned sixteen, so she's going
to be our oracle into the future and scare us
by sharing the pain points of her current stage of parenting.
And we're also going to be touching on the things
you don't realize you will miss about parenting until they're gone. Yes,
all those little irritating, challenging things that you might currently loathe.
(01:52):
One day soon you'll actually might miss them. Yep. And
how you never quite know when things will be your last,
you know, the last last get me and the first
and then all the last. I think the last are
so much sad because the first exciting, and it's like
they've achieved something. It's likest is like and usually you
(02:14):
don't realize it in that moment. It's like you know,
or you know, the other day, I'm like, I can't
carry you guys to bed. Anymore, you're too heavy. I know,
I still end up doing it. I wish it was
the bloody last that is coming up very soon our
chat with Kather and I cannot wait. Oh, I cannot
wait too. But first, here's what's happening in my group chat.
So I came across a TikTok this week. Oh you
(02:37):
love it? Well, you've really got me into the cheek talking.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Anyway.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
It's a well known actor Kiri Kasara, and she shared
a TikTok hack on how to solve this dilemma and
save arguing. Oh okay, well now I'm yes, So like
are you are you? You're a decisive person, aren't you? Alice?
Mostly yes? Okay, how about in relationships, you know, like
(03:03):
when it's like, oh, what do you feel like for dinner?
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (03:05):
No, I am one trillion percent decis Yeah, you'd be
like I absolutely need to eat this. Yes.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
So this hack is like a marriage hack that saves arguments.
So basically it's bringing in It's called the fifty to
fifty marriage hack, and it's all about the percentage of
what you want to do and then your partner's percentage
of where they're at. And that's like your negotiation percentage rates.
Let me give you an I've got. Yes, I can
(03:33):
see the last I need pins and streams of your
life examples. I'm your boyfriend, my friend had I walk
in and we're going to go out for dinner. All right,
what are you leaning towards? What do you feel like
to eat for dinner? I feel like Indian ninety percent? Okay,
and tie ten percent. Oh that's really uncomfortable for me
(03:54):
because I don't like Indian food, but because I know
you want it so badly, ninety percent, Like that's a
pretty high percentage. I might have been like, oh, look,
I only wanted Indian fifty percent. I could have done
tie fifty percent, but you know what, because you are
like ninety percent wanting your Indian food, Yes, we'll go
with Indian tonight. Right. So it's about putting a compromising
(04:17):
It's like it's like putting your cards on the table
in terms of like, no, this matters like this much
to me, and this doesn't really matter as much to me,
And then the other person can go, Okay, well, I
can see that that really matters to you and this
doesn't really matter to me. So let's meet here. So
it's like a communication compromise tool. It is like compromise negotiation,
(04:44):
meet in the middle, and you can use it for
anything anything like yes, whether to go out on a Saturday,
Like yeah, do you want to stay in or go out?
Like how much do you want to go out on
I'm like twenty percent go out And it's like, oh,
but you know, I'm like eighty percent want to go out. Okay,
well I can find another thirty percent and meet you there.
Because when you're making decisions, it's so easy to be
(05:05):
indecisive with language, so you don't really know where the
other person's coming from. And often like sometimes and you're like, oh,
I don't know, you do know, but you just don't
like you don't want to say it, or you're not
sure which one. But if you put your two options,
like you're both picking two options at whatever percentage you want,
and then the other person brings their two options with
(05:25):
their percentages that they want, and then you together can
come up with a little and equally decided decision. I'm
going to use this tactic and totally this is my
second favorite thing You've ever brought it to pop that
what was the first The karaoke where there was women
fighting over the last time. Oh that was my first favorite. Sorry,
(05:46):
Oh you're going to say with my David. Oh yeah,
that's probably now third. Okay. So, Annalise, you caught up
with your mate recently, the very funny comedian and author
Kath Mahoney, and she wanted to frighten you about having
(06:07):
a teenager. Well, you've already frightened me about you having
a teenager, and also frighten us about what you now
can expect now that you've got one. Her son, Lewis,
has just turned sixteen, and I can't wait to hear
what she had to say. Kath Mahoney, Hi, welcome to
this glorious mess. I've brought you in today because help
(06:31):
I have a teenager.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
Congratulations, thank you. So I both made it this far.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
I know, just but it's my first and so I'm scared.
And of course we've all been absolutely terrified by the
Netflix series Adolescence. Oh, I know, it couldn't be a
scarier time literally to have a teenager. So you're a
few years down the track. Lewis is sixteen. Yeah, just
turned sixteen.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
My freak out because I keep reverting to what I
was doing at sixteens.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Oh god, I'm like, no, dying in a field.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
No, it's literally literally in a jumpsuit catsuit situation. That
never looked very good. So it's probably too short in
the leg dancing to rave music. Luckily, I think he
won't be doing that.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
No, definitely not in a cat suit.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
No, totally fine.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
If it's totally.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Fine, yeah, it's it's just strange, strange time.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Do you know why I was thinking this morning? I
still feel like a teenager, so it doesn't feel right
that I have one.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
As they get older, you realize more and more and
more how your parents were winging it. Like you look
to your parents when you were a kid, and you
were like they know everything. And now I have a
sixteen year old and I'm fifty. I still go, I
know nothing. What does Reddit say about that? Let's get
on Google. Let's call a friend. I don't know I
have called a friend?
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Yeah, so what like? What am what am I walking
into here? What do I need to expect? Look out for?
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Look? I think they all, well, you know you have
a boy.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
I have a boy.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
I have friends who've got daughters, and I go, oh, glad,
I've got the boy. I mean, I think I feel
very lucky that Lewis is a delicious kid, Like he
really is a good young man. But you know, stuff
happens and it is and it is as you are told.
Suddenly you literally feel like the uber chef money provider. Yeah,
(08:23):
I mean, I mean, where can I start the fridge?
So I'm a solo parent like you. It's just me
and lou or me, so I kind of know what
I've put in the fridge will be there tomorrow. So
if I overcook for dinner, that's fine. I can have
that for lunch or send it off for lous school.
Except teenagers do things like when you go to bed,
they just go back to the fridge. He's like a
(08:44):
he's sort of like a I don't know. He's like
a swarm of locusts through my fridge. Nothing stays there,
so you've got food ahead of you, got really long showers.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
Good?
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Not good? If they indicate what some other friends with
older boys have said, they indicate.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Right, what else comes?
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Food bill?
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Water bill?
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Food bill is ridiculous. Also, I want to go to
sleep now about nine o'clock. I would rather like, I
would rather wake up at sort of five thirty or
six in the morning and be asleep for nine Lewis
I have to like pitchfork him out of bed in
the morning, but he's still wide awake late into the night.
So we are definitely on a different trajectory when it
(09:28):
comes to sleep time.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
And can you tell them to go to sleep? Still
have juris junctions.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
No, you don't have a lot. You don't have the
power that you used to have when they were little. Sadly, yeah, no,
you don't have really any control.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
When I look at the difference between like my girlfriends
who have daughters going through this, I think for girls
it's the emotions. It's a lot of emotions. And my
favorite story is like my girlfriend the other day, she
was like, oh, we've both at our period. We're in sync.
My poor husband. Do people having their period at the
same time.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
My friend's just in that situation whereas Lewis and I
are his teenage hormones. And I was like, perimenopause, Oh
that's hot. So that was hard. That was like he
didn't know what was going on with his body or
his emotions. I didn't know what was going on with
my body or emotions. At least I'm on the hr
Tin now. Paul louis just having to push through. But
(10:25):
we did. We had the big discussion. You know, you're
going through all of these changes, so is mum. So
if you do not on the fourth time, I ask
you to take the Apple and Chris packets from the
corner of your room because it's not actually dedicated. Ben.
If you don't do it on the fourth time, I
will turn out like the Banshee from Ghostbusters.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
We had parenting guru Jen Mure on the show a
while ago, and I remember she said to me, She's like,
the thing with teenage boys is it's and I know
this isn't scientific, but it's almost like the hormones that
they're experiencing sort of crumples their front lobe, so their
actual function is less than it used to be. And
(11:05):
so they could literally walk past a pair of shoes
and say, where are my shoes. It's like they don't
see things anymore. It's so frustrating.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
It's really frustrating. I can have like bags of rubbish
by the front door and Lewis will step over them
like we're on the fourth floor of an Art deco building.
No lift, So you'll fill like a sherpa going up
and down. So it's like, if we're going, let's make
a job of it. He'll walk over that stuff, the towel.
The towel I've trained him to understand won't dry on
(11:33):
the floor, So that's been a really big shift for him. Yeah, binsins,
bin's irrelevant. I started to notice things out near the
bins outside our block and lou said, I just sometimes
I'm just try and throw the apple call. I'm like, Louis,
you know, come on, So bins are terrible, food is terrible,
(11:57):
Homework is a bit of a chore.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
Did that start out well? Because I feel like we're
starting out well.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
Yeah, you start out well, Everything starts out well. You're
in the honeymoon period. You really are, you really are.
And there's this kind of smell that they have. You
probably haven't hit smell yet where they just it must
just be hormones. I've checked with friends who've got older
sons and they're like, there's just a smell about them.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Although if they shower and the eyes showering.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
There's just like a smell. Although sometimes I will catch
Lewis just putting his deodorant like over his jumper. Oh god,
we need to we need to go into the armpit situation.
It's not going to help if it's just on your jumper. Yeah,
they're a joy. They also don't you talk to them,
So that lovely sort of two way conversation that you
(12:44):
have stops and only resumes if they want to chat.
So out of nowhere, they'll ask you something and it
will be quite a deep conversation. It's usually in the
car for me and I side by side the face
and you're like, oh, I'm back in a real person.
Let's have a conversation, you know. And then other times,
(13:07):
like on the weekend we went down the coast to
spend some time with my folks who are here from
the UK and Lewis, I'm so excited we're all going
to be together as a family. And then he got
in the car and for the next hour and half
put his ear pods in sign the front with me.
I just was like, right, he's.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
A great time. He's usually much better, I promise.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
But this is all normal. Apparently this is all normal.
And I have to say, you know, so far touched
towards he's a pretty good kid.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
One of the things that I've heard is that can
be really tricky for people. And I think it was
different for you and I because we had the solo
parenting experience, so we had independence already. But it's that
it's that real letting go. And if you don't have
something else in your life other than your children and
they are your entire focus because they are pulling away
(13:56):
from you, that can be so tricky because then you're
a bit like, oh, what do I do now.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
It's a funny thing, you know, I lou he was
five when my ex husband and I split up. So
for the last almost well eleven years now, we've never
we haven't been together all the time, so you do
get used to that. What I was talking to another
friend who's a solo parent with it with teenage kids
was as they get older, having them in the house
(14:23):
can feel more lonely because when they're not there, you're
out and about doing your own thing. When they are there,
they're still at an age where you have to be there,
cook the dinner, make sure they are doing the homework,
eventually going to bed. You know, you can't be out gallivanting.
You're still a parent, but they want zero to do
with you. So it's like you have gone at the
times where you're like, should we watch a show together?
(14:46):
Totally gone, No, So you literally will make the food.
They may or may not converse with you while you
eat the food together. Then they're in the bedroom. That's it.
So you know, I find that more lonely think sometimes
and when then when he's not there.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
I love watching te I mean we don't watch kid shows.
We watch like Real Housewives of Sydney bald Ones that
may stop, that stopped for us, that's actually happened.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Yeah. And also it's that moment where you realize that
they are their own person and not not not that
you ever think that they're like possession, but when they're smaller,
they hold hand, You hold hands with them walking across
the road, You hug them, you bath and whatever you do.
And then they get to a point obviously where it's
like it's their personal space, you know. So now I'm like,
(15:34):
can have a hug? You know, you don't just go
in for the hug. Can I have a hug? And
nine nights up of ten, it's like oh, or it's
a cheek or it's okay, but can you put some
money in my spriggy or are we having sushi? Can
you not cook? I'll give you a hug. Like it's
just real like trade off.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
And it's that thing where you go from being the
main character in their story to the driver. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Literally, but I think it comes back round apparently. And
as my mum said, as I said, she's here from
the UK, we're talking about it at sixteen. If he
didn't have the life that he had and his you know,
fishing and surfing and sports and school friends and he
just wanted to spend twenty four to seven with me
(16:19):
watching Watch, that would also be concerning. So you know
that everything that they're doing touch Wood is on track
for life, but it's not easy as a parent.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
No, it's not coming up. After this shortbreak, Kath's shares
the moments she misses, and some of the last that
you don't realize will be your last until they go on.
I'm going to tissue for this take. That's next. So
Kath Mahony, we've just been talking about the pain points
(16:55):
of parenting teens, and you know, you're the sun at
age sixteen. You've only got two more years until he's
an actual grown up.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Which is just scare we're about to start driving lessons.
It's very scary awful.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
I wanted to sort of reflect and think back. For
people who are listening, they're in the trenches. They have
what we're experiencing and going through to look forward to,
but what they're currently in. Sometimes, you know, at the
end of the day, you're like, oh, I've been pushing
that kid on the swing for fifty hours this week,
(17:33):
and it's just like the little things that great you.
But when you're coming out the other side, how does
it feel looking back retrospectively that that was like the
last Oh.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
It's very sad. I mean, it's funny. You do put
your rose colored glasses on, you know, I did. I
did think about pushing Leu on the swing the other day.
I was like, I never did that again. I mean
I will, but he would be a big person on
the swing and then I have to snap out of
it and go, remember how much you hey the park,
especially as a solo parent. He hated that. Why the
(18:04):
other day, my boobs did this weird thing.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
Did they tingle?
Speaker 2 (18:08):
They tingled, and I was like, oh my gosh, breastfeeding.
I'll have a breastfeed again. And again I'm like, why
am I missing the soreness? But it's kind of you
don't know it's your last you know, you don't know
it's the last time you're going to breastfeed, if that
was what you chose to do. Until it's over, you
don't realize that it's going to be the last time
(18:29):
that they want to hold your hat, that they try
to hold your hand across the road. So it is,
it is sad. Things like I want to put Cars,
the movie on which was the bane of my life.
Now I want to watch Lightning McQueen, yeah, with lou
because we but you know, on the millions time, you
were like, I can't watch this anymore. But now I'm like,
I'd love to just watch Cars, but he won't watch
(18:50):
anything anything, not really No.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
That's I honestly like, this will be a dark day
for me. I love watching DV with my kids.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Also, what do I miss? I miss the baby smell? Yes,
kind of it just goes so quickly, and you do
you just those mornings when they wake you up at
five in the morning, You're like, I cannot wait till
you're a teenager and you don't want to get out
of bed. Yeah, and yet now I think I miss that.
I miss being the stylist. Oh right, I miss being
(19:23):
like in charge of the wardrobe and the hair. That
is really difficult to let go of because as my
mum did not like the way that I dressed at sixteen,
all my hairstyles. I'm feeling the sort of saying about loo.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
I liked when I could put him in his little navy.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Mite striper, and I like the little sailor.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
I liked when I could be like, oh, could we
just have the peaky blinders kind of can we have
that kind of nineteen twenties undercut that's really cool? Now
it's that horrible kind of straight line mullet thing that's
still hanging around like a bad smell. Let that go.
What do you think you'll miss?
Speaker 1 (19:59):
I remember, but when you've got two and they're little,
so you've got like a little baby and a toddler,
and it's like that witching hour, And I remember like
having anxiety leading up to like four point thirty five
o'clock because I knew it was coming, because you've got
to do the bath and the dinner, and then everyone's
got different schedules and feeding and everyone's just cranky. But
(20:21):
now I think just having them like giggling and gurgling
in a bath and playing with little toys, like how delightful.
But at the time it was the most stressful thing
in the universe ever.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
It was horrible. But I'm the same. I missed that washing,
the hair, the toys, the come on, you've been in
long enough, let's get out, and exactly that knowing that
you're on that kind of bedtime role where it's like
all going to be smacked down by seven.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Yeah, And I even just I loved because I had
quite a lot of time at home with babies and
on matt leave, and I did freelancing, so I was
really lucky. I had a lot of time at home
and I loved. This sounds ridiculous, but just make believe
play like I loved, you know, making up pretend worlds
(21:10):
and doing vets and all of that silly stuff. Well,
just even just flying around toys to music. We used
to How to Train Your Drag Dragon was our cars,
and so we had all the drag and figurines and
we'd put the movie soundtrack on and just like run
around flying dragons, like, oh, it's so fun.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
It's hard isn't it when it goes? And you also
know what's in the fridge because they can't reach the fridge. Yes,
so that was I do miss that, and they miss being,
you know again, being the chef, but going like this
is the option. There is no other option. You don't
even know. You don't like this yet, so you'll be
eating this, yes, and being asked things mom, mom, like
that snow. I'm like there were snow anything.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
Because they just ask Siri. Yes, they don't need to ask.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
They don't ask us anymore.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Siri is their new parent. Now.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
I almost missed the car seat because I thought it
was struck in the back, and then I thought, no,
I don't miss the car seat, And that's sort of
point whether you're about to break you back. They're getting
a bit too heavy to put them in the car seat. Yes,
don't miss the prams. No, I definitely don't miss a
prem don't miss nappy changing. No, don't miss having to
have a handbag the size of a house with all
(22:18):
of the stuff in.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Yeah, do you I don't miss I've got it?
Speaker 2 (22:21):
Are you still on that? Oh?
Speaker 1 (22:22):
I've got a big hairbag, but it's alicely full of
like makeup and do you I don't like stuff for me.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Your stuff exactly much better than raisins and tissues and
nappy white.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
And corn thin's. Oh, kids parties.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
I never thought I would miss kids parties. Oh you do,
miss well? I miss the fact that you get to
a point where you're not even included in the birthday. Yeah,
so that's you know, you go from I used to
have real trauma around the party and the cake and
what you're doing and the lolli bags and the activities.
That was always really stressful. Then you get to a
(22:56):
point where you can do the let's go bowling or
pick four friends, go the movies, And then you get
to the point where it's like, can you just put
some money on my card? Mom? And Christmas that would
be my last big miss. Oh no, Christmas changes, doesn't
it when their thoughts around the big Man in Red change.
I don't know who's listening to this, so I don't
want any spoiler alerts around Santa. But yeah, Christmas. Christmas
(23:20):
when they would wake up at five and you would say,
we're not going downstairs to see if he's been for
another two hours now, it would be about eleven o'clock,
Lou And it's my birthday on Christmas, so I'm a
bit like, let's go, oh, what have we got?
Speaker 1 (23:36):
No, that's half the day. The magic of Christmas is gone.
The Grinch has taken over.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
Yes, and Lo's good when he's with Dad because they
have he's got a little sister, so he allows the
magic when he's you know, he's if it's a dad Christmas.
But at mine, yeah, zero Christmas feels, and that that
feeling when he would when he officially stopped wanting to
watch any Christmas movie in the lead up, or want
(24:04):
to put the tree up, or help with the tree,
or decorate the tree that I would then redecorate when
you went.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
To bed, because it's so bad every time.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
That was crushing as a Christmas person, that's probably that's
probably one of the things I miss the most.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
I cannot believe that Christmas will be dead soon.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
Hallowe No, you've got how old the youngest ten you've got?
You've got a few years because they hang on for
a while because they don't want to admit they're not
sure in case the presents do stop.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
Oh no, we're definitely beyond the fantasy of Christmas.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
Okay, but they're still so easy to fall into it.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
Yes, love, I enjoy that, Yes, enjoy that. So for
anyone listening, if you're waking up at five am this
coming Christmas, just remember Kath Mahoney will be would love
to join it.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Because it's like I just you get to do it.
You forget, You don't realize that you're going to miss
all of these festivities.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
So it's the rituals. Yes, I hadn't really thought about
the rituals. It's like, yeah, the trick or treating, the
egg hunting, they're putting out the little carrots for Santa, and.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
The tooth fairy when they get between fifty cents and
fifty dollars depending on what you've got, and when the
tooth comes out. So yeah, there would be some of
the things I miss.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
I hadn't thought about that, the rituals.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
Maybe maybe the upside is enjoy all of the bits, Yes,
even the pushing of the swing in the park and
the prem yeah hill, even knowing that the stuff in
your hair may or may not be regogated food.
Speaker 1 (25:37):
No, and you didn't eat the joy and the giggles
of the bath. That would be my thing like, I
wish I didn't dread that so much, And I just
really like lapped up the magic and the joy of
little babies playing in water, so.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
Silly, silly and fun fun because they That's another thing
with teenager I guess their fun doesn't necessarily involve you anymore.
When they're little and they're joyful and fun, you get
to experience it. When they're a bit older. Yeah, you're
not invited to the fun bit.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
Yeah, because you're not the main character.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
Not the main character. You are the chef or the driver. Yeah,
and you also have all this. What I've noticed about
being a parent to a teenager is you hold on
to things, you know, Like if Lou's upset about a
situation about not being picked for something or sport, I
will then have trauma for like the next week, and
(26:30):
then the next time I mentioned it, he said, I.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
Oh't know, I've moved on. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
He had a school dance. He's a bit taller now,
but he's quite little. A couple of years ago he
had a school dance. With it that he's in a
same sex school. They had a school dance and he
was quite upset because some of the girls wouldn't dance
with him and laugh because he's little. Oh, and I
mentioned it the other day because he's had a gross
spurt now he's getting quite tall, and I said, I
said I would still if I met those girls, I
(26:54):
would end to them. And Lewis was like, oh, Mom,
I can't even remember that. I lie in bed wondering
who they were and you've let it go. Yeah, So
I think that's my other bit of advice. Yet, don't
don't fester on things. They seem to move through stuff
pretty quickly.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
Tevages resilience.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
Resilience, that's a society resilience and a spriggy card. Spriggy card.
Lewis has learnt now to say when he calls how
are you, how's your day, it's like he's reading it
for a card, like a Telly kind of callern Can
I have some money in my card? You used to
just be can you put somebody on my spriggy? Now
he knows well enough to ask how I am.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
He's probably got a little script he does.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
He does. I think he also works for an electricity company.
To the other answer, when those numbers you don't know
it's from me?
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Lewis, how are you.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
How's your day? You put somebody on my spriggy and
try our electricity brand?
Speaker 1 (27:47):
Right well, Cathermone, thank you so much. I don't feel terrified. No,
I thought i'd feel terrified. I think it's just about
embracing whatever stage you're at, really, I think.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
So, and realizing that what you might want is different
to what you're actually going to get. But as I said,
I wouldn't want those to just want to be hanging
out with his mum at sixteen. No.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
Well, but now I understand why.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
Right, I'd like him to acknowledge me in a group
of people, but you know, that's just different.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
And now I understand why my mum and my parents
are so insufferable with my kids, because it's like that's
when you get to live it again. Yes, a grandkids and.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
They really love the grandparents, don't Yes.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
And you, And that's why they're so obsessed and insufferable
and clinging on to them because they know that they
one day also don't want.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
To borrow them.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
No, No, oh god, so much, so much, sad stuff. Great,
Thank you so much, Catherine Hooney. We love you and
thanks for coming on this glorious miss Thanks for having me, Oh,
that was an emotion journey. Yeah, she's so but she's
so funny. She is laugh but she she got me thinking, Yeah,
(29:00):
you could be thinking about like the last that, Like
I didn't really like that. My kids are only six
and seven. You know, it's not as they're moving out
or you know, yeah, but you don't appreciate them. It's
like that song you don't know till it's gone. Literally
life is a song. But like I I know that
(29:20):
I absolutely wished my kids baby days away because I
had three in a year and then so I had
three babies at one time and it was a dead set,
logistical nightmare. So I literally woke up every day going,
I can't wait till they're older, or I can't wait
till they're at school, or I can't wait till they
can walk. I can't wait till they can get them
(29:40):
pour themselves a cup of jews. I can't wait. I
would like literally wished away the Goo goo gaga. But
with hindsight, now, do you have any regrets about wishing
those moments or that time away?
Speaker 2 (29:53):
Yeah, I do a little bit.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
I know that I look at like photos and videos
of when, especially the twins love Bando too, but I
think I didn't get to enjoy Well, I did get
to enjoy it, because I did enjoy it, but it
also it was mayhem. But I know that if, like
I didn't have another one so close together after having
(30:15):
the twins, I would have probably been a lot more
relaxed and soaked it up a little bit more like
you know, having the twins and then you know, end
my time with Banjo and his time, you know what
I mean. I feel like I definitely wished it away,
and I just I look back at those videos of them,
you know, like when they're just starting to string words
(30:36):
together and sentences and little voice and their cute little
walks like they're like wattles and stuff like that, Like
I look at that now and like, I don't know,
maybe every mom does that, though yes, oh definitely. I
cannot look at a video of my Chie being a
toddler without going yeah, So maybe it's like, yeah, maybe
I'm not as regretful as I think I am, because
(30:56):
you know, you only you only go into whatever mode
you're feeling at the time, right, which for me was
probably utter overwhelm. But even I look at photos of
my kids twelve months ago, and I'm like, oh, look
how tiny they were compared to now, Like, they just
grow up. They just grow up so bloody fast, don't they. Yeah,
And it's true what they say that the days are long,
(31:18):
but the years are short, and that flyby is my
dead set motto. They are because my days was so
long and they're just as long now, but the years
are getting shorter and shorter and shorter. I think everyone
would agree. Well, thank you so much for listening to
this glorious mess. We hope you enjoyed the episode, and
if you did, we'd love it if you left a
(31:40):
rating and a review. This episode was produced by Tina Madalov,
with audio production by Jacob Brown. See Yeah, I'll see
you next time
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