Choices in Conflict: Ignoring, Competing, or Collaborating for a Better Future

Maria Arpa MBE engages in a thought-provoking conversation with her friend and philosopher, Paul, about the concept of "systemic win." They explore the dynamics of conflict resolution, emphasising the importance of not just achieving a win-win situation but ensuring that all parties, including the broader community and environment, benefit from the resolution. Paul shares insights on how to navigate disagreements, the significance of awareness in communication, and the need for collaboration over competition. The discussion highlights the philosophical underpinnings of their approaches to conflict and the necessity of aligning individual and collective interests for sustainable relationships, both personally and in the workplace.

Key Takeaways

1. Systemic Win Philosophy: The concept of systemic win emphasizes that conflicts should only be considered resolved when all parties involved, as well as the broader environment and society, benefit from the outcome. It goes beyond the traditional win-win approach by including the well-being of the entire system.

2. Awareness and Communication: Effective communication is crucial in navigating conflicts. It's important to pay attention to how our actions affect others and to recognize when we are bringing out the best or worst in each other. This awareness can help prevent downward spirals of conflict.

3. Collaboration vs. Competition: In any relationship or workplace, there are three ways to respond to conflict: ignoring, collaborating, or competing. Choosing collaboration is often the most productive path, as it fosters a sense of shared purpose and mutual benefit.

4. Philosophy in the Workplace: Organizations should establish a guiding philosophy that prioritizes the well-being of all stakeholders, not just profit. This involves understanding what it means to create a sustainable and supportive work environment that values contributions beyond just financial gain.

5. Future Self Consideration: Decisions made in the heat of the moment can have long-term consequences. It's essential to consider how our actions today will affect our future relationships and interactions, promoting a mindset of systemic self-interest that benefits both ourselves and others in the long run.

Key Quotes

1. "If there's a conflict, it's only over when you've got somewhere better than you were before the conflict began." - Paul

2. "It's not just about people. It's about our environment. It's about our society." - Paul

3. "We have a lot of problems with our neighbours... Am I trying to make it better? Am I trying to make it worse? Or do I not care?" - Paul

4. "What am I doing that's not bringing out their better in them?" - Paul

5. "Life only works through collaboration. Our body only works because all these different parts of us work together." - Paul

Related links

Website: https://mariaarpa.com/

Workplace Consultancy: https://workplacehuddle.com/

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MariaArpaMBE

Host BIO

Maria founded the Centre for Peaceful Solutions in response to the fatal shooting of a 7 year old in her neighbourhood. She developed a model of conflict resolution for violent crime using her brainchild, the Dialogue Road Map (DRM).  

Over 30 years she has mediated everything from threat to life gang disputes to high stakes business deals gone wrong, Maria empowers people to resolve conflict without reliance on experts. So she trains violent prisoners to be facil