August 12, 2025 • 10 mins
Katie’s daughter has decided that having children is a terrible idea — because apparently, they’ll ruin her life. This is a controversial one!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Apod Jake Production.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Welcome back to another episode of Am I a Bad
Mum Podcast? Term A weent Tim three?
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Three?
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Yeah, Term three? Can I tell you, Rach? This is
off the back of the fact that we're not very
organized when it comes to Christmas usually, apart from there
was a one year one where you got everything in
like lay by June July lay By sales. You had
(00:50):
it already, you got the charity ladies, gave them fifty
dollars to wrap the whole lot, and you sat back
with the bubbles.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
It was wonderful. It was the best experience I've ever
had with shopping.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Should do that more often.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
So, Rach, I have bought Jay's Christmas present already. I
know who even am I?
Speaker 1 (01:11):
We're still in August.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
And I've also got a couple of the girls.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Have you what within sales that are on at the moment?
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (01:19):
I love himself sick with it.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
It was fifty percent off and it.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Was the last one. Oh yeah. Even just talking about it,
I'm like, I need to know what it is.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
No, I can't tell you because.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
He listens to this podcast.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Speaking of podcasts, he does also listen or has listened
to the other podcasts that we have. Girls Gone Wild
haven't recorded for a while, but this past week I've
had two separate messages. One of them was like, hey, love,
am I a bad mum? But I've found that you
guys have another one. It's called Girls Gone Wild? Can't
(01:54):
stop listening to it?
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Oh really?
Speaker 3 (01:56):
She was like, but you know, on a side note,
she was like, I never knew that you had implants.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
She's like, I would love to know your surgeon if
you can send.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
I was like, you could have picked out.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
That is a wicked message. Thank you.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Am I a bad mum for telling them they have
no choice?
Speaker 1 (02:25):
None?
Speaker 3 (02:25):
No?
Speaker 2 (02:26):
None.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
You're still under eighteen, you live under a house, you
live under this roof. You got no choice.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Well it's not a choice I want them to have
right now, but it's a choice for older Because Holly
tells me the other day I'm not having kids. I went, oh, yeah, no,
absolutely not. Kids will ruin my life away. You're like this,
(02:53):
how interesting that you are a kid, and so you've
obviously watched something happen that is making you think I
never want to have one of us.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
I own, Yeah, I said.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
No, absolutely, you were Yeah, you are you are having kids,
because if I have done all of this not to
watch you then go through it.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
She's like, that's it.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
That's the only reason, because you're not going to understand
all of the things I did until you experience it
for yourself.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
It is going to be crazy.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
So I said, no, absolutely, you are having kids. So yeah,
let's rethink that when we get to that bit older. Yeah,
but she said, yeah, but people don't have kids these days,
and I'm like, well, yeah, I understand it is more
socially acceptable not to have children than it used to
beause it used to be a case I'm probably still
(03:47):
where someone would choose to not have kids for whatever
reason and you'd go, oh, you're having kick like, is
it medical? But it was never a case of chose,
I just choose not to. I've got a friend Rach
who is mid forties. She chose never to have kids.
She was married. She's been married for like fifteen twenty years.
(04:08):
So it's not like it was a you know, got older,
didn't find the right person. Wasn't the case of that
she always decided not to.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
I think it's a great moment in your own life
to be very honest with yourself, whether you're willing to
or not.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
And I do believe that society has shifted to just
be open to it. Yeah, and I'm one hundred percent
with it.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
I mean, obviously for the people that struggle to fall
or can't fall, that breaks my heart because they are
people that really want to you know, really want.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
A baby as well. That part breaks my heart.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
The other part of the people that just go, you
know what, it's not for me. I respect that more
than sort of like the people that just keep banging
them out for the sacond them out.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Yeah, banging them out to have kids. Why.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
A good friend of mine, her sister is a drug addict,
and she has had issues with ice for years and
years and years. She's now had four kids that have
all been taken straight off her in the hospital.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Yeah, it's sad. It is super sad, super super sad.
But this might get a bit of backlash. But after
the fourth time, the fourth.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Yeah, my question is why.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
We're all thinking, yeah, after the fourth like, why wouldn't
someone when she goes into the hospital tire tubes again?
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Backlash?
Speaker 3 (05:36):
Inhumane? You're being cruel, No, I'm not. This is not
coming from a place of cruelty, but this is the
part of me and the part of my brain that
goes to the other side, Katie, that goes those little
people are already affected from being inside. Yeah, somebody that
unfortunately has a substance abuse. Yeah, that is a knock
(05:56):
on effect. This kid doesn't even have a leg up
to start with, to even come into this world with.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Yes, So those kids were all born addicted to drugs.
They all had to go through the waning off process.
And look, those kids are very well looked after now
and they've got beautiful you know people that are raising them. However,
will they always have the abandonment trauma?
Speaker 3 (06:18):
Yeah? Yeah, And you don't even know if she chose
to wonderful pregnant, you know.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Like that's the sad, sad part of this.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
And then the other side of it is, I know
that you can't control anybody else's life, but maybe if
you took the choice out of just the reproduction part
of like going, we've done it four times, none of
them have made you want.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
To sober up to try and raise these babies.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
So maybe weere we just like, maybe I'll help you
out and just do the contraception part.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
Yeah, it's a wild subject.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Yeah, it is, and it makes me very nervous. But
I also know from my friend's perspective how traumatic it
is taking that little child to see birthpair parents on drugs,
all the rest of it enforced by child services. Because
(07:11):
I get the whole I.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Need to know where they come from.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Yeah, yeah, I get that, But then at what point
do you just allow that child to be with the
loving family that are raising them safely? Safely anyway subjects, But.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
It breaks my heart. I don't wish that on anyone.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
So I can't imagine what their parents are going through
whilst you're struggling with an addiction but also trying to
raise a family.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
When we go back to that abandonment trauma, like as
we know, I was adopted as a baby, and no,
there was no drugs involved, I don't think, but later
in life, you definitely, no matter how nice your story
is and how well your parents raise you and how
much love and all the rest of it, there's so
much abandonment trauma that you have to do and work
you have to do on yourself and your belonging and
(08:00):
where you are in the world and who you are.
Didn't take me till us forties to start doing that rate,
and then you don't realize how much there is there.
So and when I look back on things that I've done, decisions,
mental health, all that kind of stuff, I'm like, Wow,
I kind of wish that I'd known some of that
in my twenties, maybe even earlier.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
Yeah, I think we do other things though, like in
those moments, like when we're in our early twenties and
stuff like that.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
When you think about, like now.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
Being in your forties and you think back to your twenties,
it's massively like avoidance.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
What are you doing.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
You're numbing it, you're avoiding it, you are burying it deeper,
and you get to that point I think later on
in life where you're like, I cannot physically and emotionally
carry this baggage any longer. Whereas in our twenties we're
so quick to like move from thing to thing that
makes you feel good or lifts you up, or gives
you a rush, or just basically helps with the void
(08:57):
that you need to feel for that amount of time.
I think that's probably a bit of that understanding around it. Now,
when you look back a forty year old, you can
see so much more.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
It's clearer.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
What does it take so long for us to start
working with shit out? Why do we go through?
Speaker 1 (09:11):
So that's what I mean.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
It goes to life then to realize it all when
you got your own kids, who, by the way, we
want grandchildren from at some point because I think that
will be fun, not anything.
Speaker 3 (09:26):
After watching Nanadee on the weekend, I don't know that
I need grandchildren. I don't need them because none. When
I got home from being away, she was watch she
was wired. What did I say to she is, well,
you should think about what you're feeding them and what's
in that.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
And I said, why don't you care this much when
I was a kid, Because I stopped feeling sorry for yourself.
I was like, oh, get out of my house. Yeah,
so anyway, just look after my kids for four days.
Get out.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
You are absolutely having kids, because you know I have
watched you be an asshole.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Now you are going to be Did Amelia step into
any step or this was just.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
She wasn't No, she wasn't there. I don't know that
she would want them either.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Oh well, my job is done here.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
I just think about the amount of resentment I'll have
for them not experiencing all of that spending money on yourself.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Are you the world? Are you that thing called freedom?
Speaker 2 (10:32):
What are you doing going to the beach with a book?
Oh what a luxury doing that?
Speaker 1 (10:40):
You having kids?
Speaker 3 (10:43):
What the
Apod Jake Production.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Welcome back to another episode of Am I a Bad
Mum Podcast? Term A weent Tim three?
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Three?
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Yeah, Term three? Can I tell you, Rach? This is
off the back of the fact that we're not very
organized when it comes to Christmas usually, apart from there
was a one year one where you got everything in
like lay by June July lay By sales. You had
(00:50):
it already, you got the charity ladies, gave them fifty
dollars to wrap the whole lot, and you sat back
with the bubbles.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
It was wonderful. It was the best experience I've ever
had with shopping.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Should do that more often.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
So, Rach, I have bought Jay's Christmas present already. I
know who even am I?
Speaker 1 (01:11):
We're still in August.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
And I've also got a couple of the girls.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Have you what within sales that are on at the moment?
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (01:19):
I love himself sick with it.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
It was fifty percent off and it.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Was the last one. Oh yeah. Even just talking about it,
I'm like, I need to know what it is.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
No, I can't tell you because.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
He listens to this podcast.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Speaking of podcasts, he does also listen or has listened
to the other podcasts that we have. Girls Gone Wild
haven't recorded for a while, but this past week I've
had two separate messages. One of them was like, hey, love,
am I a bad mum? But I've found that you
guys have another one. It's called Girls Gone Wild? Can't
(01:54):
stop listening to it?
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Oh really?
Speaker 3 (01:56):
She was like, but you know, on a side note,
she was like, I never knew that you had implants.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
She's like, I would love to know your surgeon if
you can send.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
I was like, you could have picked out.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
That is a wicked message. Thank you.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Am I a bad mum for telling them they have
no choice?
Speaker 1 (02:25):
None?
Speaker 3 (02:25):
No?
Speaker 2 (02:26):
None.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
You're still under eighteen, you live under a house, you
live under this roof. You got no choice.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Well it's not a choice I want them to have
right now, but it's a choice for older Because Holly
tells me the other day I'm not having kids. I went, oh, yeah, no,
absolutely not. Kids will ruin my life away. You're like this,
(02:53):
how interesting that you are a kid, and so you've
obviously watched something happen that is making you think I
never want to have one of us.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
I own, Yeah, I said.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
No, absolutely, you were Yeah, you are you are having kids,
because if I have done all of this not to
watch you then go through it.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
She's like, that's it.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
That's the only reason, because you're not going to understand
all of the things I did until you experience it
for yourself.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
It is going to be crazy.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
So I said, no, absolutely, you are having kids. So yeah,
let's rethink that when we get to that bit older. Yeah,
but she said, yeah, but people don't have kids these days,
and I'm like, well, yeah, I understand it is more
socially acceptable not to have children than it used to
beause it used to be a case I'm probably still
(03:47):
where someone would choose to not have kids for whatever
reason and you'd go, oh, you're having kick like, is
it medical? But it was never a case of chose,
I just choose not to. I've got a friend Rach
who is mid forties. She chose never to have kids.
She was married. She's been married for like fifteen twenty years.
(04:08):
So it's not like it was a you know, got older,
didn't find the right person. Wasn't the case of that
she always decided not to.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
I think it's a great moment in your own life
to be very honest with yourself, whether you're willing to
or not.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
And I do believe that society has shifted to just
be open to it. Yeah, and I'm one hundred percent
with it.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
I mean, obviously for the people that struggle to fall
or can't fall, that breaks my heart because they are
people that really want to you know, really want.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
A baby as well. That part breaks my heart.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
The other part of the people that just go, you
know what, it's not for me. I respect that more
than sort of like the people that just keep banging
them out for the sacond them out.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Yeah, banging them out to have kids. Why.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
A good friend of mine, her sister is a drug addict,
and she has had issues with ice for years and
years and years. She's now had four kids that have
all been taken straight off her in the hospital.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Yeah, it's sad. It is super sad, super super sad.
But this might get a bit of backlash. But after
the fourth time, the fourth.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Yeah, my question is why.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
We're all thinking, yeah, after the fourth like, why wouldn't
someone when she goes into the hospital tire tubes again?
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Backlash?
Speaker 3 (05:36):
Inhumane? You're being cruel, No, I'm not. This is not
coming from a place of cruelty, but this is the
part of me and the part of my brain that
goes to the other side, Katie, that goes those little
people are already affected from being inside. Yeah, somebody that
unfortunately has a substance abuse. Yeah, that is a knock
(05:56):
on effect. This kid doesn't even have a leg up
to start with, to even come into this world with.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Yes, So those kids were all born addicted to drugs.
They all had to go through the waning off process.
And look, those kids are very well looked after now
and they've got beautiful you know people that are raising them. However,
will they always have the abandonment trauma?
Speaker 3 (06:18):
Yeah? Yeah, And you don't even know if she chose
to wonderful pregnant, you know.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Like that's the sad, sad part of this.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
And then the other side of it is, I know
that you can't control anybody else's life, but maybe if
you took the choice out of just the reproduction part
of like going, we've done it four times, none of
them have made you want.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
To sober up to try and raise these babies.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
So maybe weere we just like, maybe I'll help you
out and just do the contraception part.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
Yeah, it's a wild subject.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Yeah, it is, and it makes me very nervous. But
I also know from my friend's perspective how traumatic it
is taking that little child to see birthpair parents on drugs,
all the rest of it enforced by child services. Because
(07:11):
I get the whole I.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Need to know where they come from.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Yeah, yeah, I get that, But then at what point
do you just allow that child to be with the
loving family that are raising them safely? Safely anyway subjects, But.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
It breaks my heart. I don't wish that on anyone.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
So I can't imagine what their parents are going through
whilst you're struggling with an addiction but also trying to
raise a family.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
When we go back to that abandonment trauma, like as
we know, I was adopted as a baby, and no,
there was no drugs involved, I don't think, but later
in life, you definitely, no matter how nice your story
is and how well your parents raise you and how
much love and all the rest of it, there's so
much abandonment trauma that you have to do and work
you have to do on yourself and your belonging and
(08:00):
where you are in the world and who you are.
Didn't take me till us forties to start doing that rate,
and then you don't realize how much there is there.
So and when I look back on things that I've done, decisions,
mental health, all that kind of stuff, I'm like, Wow,
I kind of wish that I'd known some of that
in my twenties, maybe even earlier.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
Yeah, I think we do other things though, like in
those moments, like when we're in our early twenties and
stuff like that.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
When you think about, like now.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
Being in your forties and you think back to your twenties,
it's massively like avoidance.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
What are you doing.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
You're numbing it, you're avoiding it, you are burying it deeper,
and you get to that point I think later on
in life where you're like, I cannot physically and emotionally
carry this baggage any longer. Whereas in our twenties we're
so quick to like move from thing to thing that
makes you feel good or lifts you up, or gives
you a rush, or just basically helps with the void
(08:57):
that you need to feel for that amount of time.
I think that's probably a bit of that understanding around it. Now,
when you look back a forty year old, you can
see so much more.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
It's clearer.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
What does it take so long for us to start
working with shit out? Why do we go through?
Speaker 1 (09:11):
So that's what I mean.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
It goes to life then to realize it all when
you got your own kids, who, by the way, we
want grandchildren from at some point because I think that
will be fun, not anything.
Speaker 3 (09:26):
After watching Nanadee on the weekend, I don't know that
I need grandchildren. I don't need them because none. When
I got home from being away, she was watch she
was wired. What did I say to she is, well,
you should think about what you're feeding them and what's
in that.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
And I said, why don't you care this much when
I was a kid, Because I stopped feeling sorry for yourself.
I was like, oh, get out of my house. Yeah,
so anyway, just look after my kids for four days.
Get out.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
You are absolutely having kids, because you know I have
watched you be an asshole.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Now you are going to be Did Amelia step into
any step or this was just.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
She wasn't No, she wasn't there. I don't know that
she would want them either.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Oh well, my job is done here.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
I just think about the amount of resentment I'll have
for them not experiencing all of that spending money on yourself.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Are you the world? Are you that thing called freedom?
Speaker 2 (10:32):
What are you doing going to the beach with a book?
Oh what a luxury doing that?
Speaker 1 (10:40):
You having kids?
Speaker 3 (10:43):
What the
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