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September 4, 2025 13 mins

In this episode Rach wants to bring to light the topic of kids voice messaging kids and some of the cruel and unfiltered things that are being said. Katie has experienced teenage 'goings on' and they have some "advice" for parents.

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Apoday Production. Welcome back to another episode about My Bad

(00:26):
Mum podcast. You know how they do studies on anything, anything, anything,
if you had somebody that has kids versus somebody that
doesn't have kids, and you regulated their nervous system.

Speaker 2 (00:42):
Stress levels, So you're basically saying, my stress levels, my
nervous system.

Speaker 3 (00:49):
My dreamals be my brothers.

Speaker 4 (00:51):
Yeah, Luke, Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (00:54):
I am sitting at a dance competition on the weekend,
nine am, star time. We left it nine pm, right,
So think about nervous systems, dream or all of that, Luke.
Oh gosh, my Sunday has been so lovely. I just
got up, I drove to the coast.

Speaker 3 (01:13):
I went for a swim for an hour, and then so.

Speaker 2 (01:16):
Good, like cleansed myself and then I went for breakfast
and had a wholesome breakfast.

Speaker 3 (01:21):
And now I'm back and I'm doing some work and
it's midday. Her fucking life is bad. Yeah, I know
that there is exactly what you were trying to get to.
And I was like, that just happened to me.

Speaker 1 (01:34):
Yeah, and just the health of the person. Yeah, even
little things like a normal morning, put your shoes on.

Speaker 3 (01:44):
A lady.

Speaker 2 (01:45):
Last week at work, She's standing there with her little
girl and she's deaf, so she's signing to a little
girl who would have been three and a half four,
And I'm standing in The little girl's like smiling at
me and trying to have like her conversation with me.
But then the mom turns me and she's trying to
sign and have a chat with me, and I'm thinking,
oh my, So then I keep talking to the little

(02:08):
girl because she's talking back to me, but then the
mom's also signing to me, and I was like, oh
my god, oh my god, over stimulation.

Speaker 1 (02:15):
Was there any part of you when listening to your
kids arguing or shouting or back chatting.

Speaker 4 (02:24):
I know where you're going with this. I know where
you're going with this.

Speaker 1 (02:27):
Wow, as a parent, it'd be nice to be deaf.

Speaker 5 (02:37):
I looked at this mom and I was like, lucky
you am I a bad mom for.

Speaker 2 (02:53):
Basically having a tech tantrum. We all have tantrums. My
kids don't have Messenger, what's called like MSN Messenger or
anything like that. They're not on any social media platforms.
That's fine.

Speaker 3 (03:05):
I do have iPads for school use.

Speaker 2 (03:07):
And then with the fact that our family uses Apple,
you then have an iCloud email, which then gives them
access to be able to message people. I check everything
going on on iPads and laptops.

Speaker 3 (03:20):
Just due to safety.

Speaker 2 (03:22):
You know how you can have more than one person,
you have a big group chat, and lots of information
goes in there, right, all walks of life in this
group chat. Now you're going to be invited or added
to the group chat. We all know how it works.

Speaker 3 (03:34):
But group chats are like the new mean girls.

Speaker 2 (03:37):
The amount of courage that these kids somewhat feel when
they're behind a keyboard is wild.

Speaker 3 (03:48):
Wild group chats with their friends, supposedly friends.

Speaker 2 (03:51):
Yeah, I mean for me, I don't have group chats
with my friends that are absolutely slendering the shit out
of me.

Speaker 4 (03:57):
Yeah, so what are the kids writing in these?

Speaker 2 (03:59):
Gracie has had a little bit of a hard time
obviously that transition period of going as being a senior
and primary school to then going into high school. Other
people now have gone off to high schools and then
added other people into what was a group chat for
their school only.

Speaker 4 (04:14):
Yeah, what a mess.

Speaker 2 (04:15):
This courage that these girls have, well not just girls,
but girls and boys to tell each other to go
kill themselves. Oh my god, mind blowing Katie. This is
so fucking relevant right now, and as parents we have
to do something with action around it.

Speaker 3 (04:31):
That doesn't mean.

Speaker 2 (04:32):
Going after the other kids that say it, but it's
about taking action within our own homes and households and
our own families in order to educate our children to
be able to make the right choices when it comes
to these mean girl behaviors online.

Speaker 1 (04:49):
And the online part is a tricky one because you
can have a bully at school. We've all had bullies
at school, right, But then you can leave school and
go home and you're in the safe space. Yeah, these
schoollies are coming into your safe space, into your child's bedrooms,
and you know.

Speaker 2 (05:07):
And if you're not managing like you say with your girls,
your girls are sixteen, your girls you still say to
your girls phones are down here at eight, right, that's
like me twelve.

Speaker 4 (05:16):
Pushback on that a lot, but they're almost adult. All
of our friends. No one has to do that.

Speaker 1 (05:21):
It's for two reasons. First of all, it's about managing
your time so that you're not doing work and shit
late in the evening.

Speaker 4 (05:31):
And the second thing.

Speaker 1 (05:32):
Is about preparing your body for sleep and not looking
at phones and scrolling just before you go to sleep.

Speaker 4 (05:40):
You need a good hour where you're not.

Speaker 1 (05:42):
Looking at and yes, don't get me wrong, they're on
their laptops and you got to choosh battles, right, Yeah,
But I was like, I don't want you any phones
after eight o'clock.

Speaker 2 (05:50):
Because there's science behind it, right, We've got science behind
it showing that adults don't even have the capability of
putting their own phones down from distracting themselves or chasing
that dopamine hit from that screen, right.

Speaker 3 (06:03):
Especially pre bed. Yeah, Katie, Like, honestly, it just appaused me.

Speaker 4 (06:08):
Where do these kids feel?

Speaker 2 (06:10):
Okay, we're telling another child, another human being, go kill yourself.

Speaker 3 (06:15):
Where what are we teaching them?

Speaker 4 (06:16):
You'd hope that the.

Speaker 1 (06:17):
Other parents are having a look at what their kids
are writing and then pulling them up on what the hell? Yeah,
you can't say that to somebody. Remember the time that
it was on Snapchat. A girl and Amelia doesn't know her,
she's a girl at another school, jumped on there and
sent her a message telling her she was a cunt.

Speaker 2 (06:37):
Yeah, there's not too much now that goes on in writing.
If it's these real bullies that know what they're doing.
It's always voice and they send these voice notes three minutes,
four minutes.

Speaker 3 (06:48):
You imagine what's being said in three or four minutes. Horrific.
I heard one of them. Horrific.

Speaker 2 (06:54):
They were fourteen year old girls. I look at that
and go, what's happening in your life as a fourteen
year old girl to feel the need to send a
four minute voice note to another human being, to tell
them that their every grotesque name that you've ever thought
of under the sun, Go kill yourself. You deserve nothing

(07:16):
more to kill yourself. We can't wait to see you
kill you. I was like flawed, explawed. So then when
I am now having that happen, not to that extremity,
but it's only in like grade seven, and having to
have that conversation with my children, and then Gracie almost
questioning going on but it was okay, she didn't mean it,

(07:36):
and hang on a.

Speaker 3 (07:37):
Sec it's not okay. It's never gonna be okay.

Speaker 1 (07:41):
How do we get our teenagers to not have that
low self esteem? Because it's a mirror, right, So it's
a reflection of how they feel about themselves that they're
putting onto whoever the innocent person is they're telling us
go kill themselves.

Speaker 4 (07:56):
It's about how they're reflection. I would say to my girls.

Speaker 1 (08:00):
My girls would never jump on and say anything like that,
but they definitely come home and going so that's fine.

Speaker 2 (08:08):
Little reminds that's different. That's way different it is.

Speaker 1 (08:11):
But I then pull them up and go, what's that
saying about you? You don't need to worry about what
they're doing. Yeah, sounds a bit meaner.

Speaker 3 (08:18):
Yeah, I'm also the same as you.

Speaker 2 (08:20):
We will have those conversations, and especially like now, I
do a lot of pickup and drop off them, so
I have numerous kids in the car, and it's always like, Okay,
let's flip it and go.

Speaker 3 (08:30):
I wonder what's happening for them right now, you know.
I wonder how their morning was before they got to school.

Speaker 2 (08:36):
I wonder how their weekend was at their home, if
they had any parents around, whether they were That doesn't
make their behavior or their actions towards the others any better,
but it also just opens up the opportunity for the
kids that we can help and influence and teach, being
able to see a little bit further outside the box

(08:57):
that care and compassion and also that inner resilience of
I'm going to take responsibility where I fucked up with this,
and I can see where it went better, like, for instance,
with Gracie, like I was shocked, I was flawed, and naturally,
as a parent, you go through all of these feelings
and emotions of going like, oh my god, I'm going.

Speaker 3 (09:16):
To say something, I'm going to do this, I'm going
to do that.

Speaker 2 (09:18):
But if I go in to fight her battles every time,
it won't teach Gracie anything. Right. I was lucky enough
that Gracie said, I went in and deleted the people
that had been added. That's when she got the kickback,
and that's when the comments came through of go kill yourself.

Speaker 3 (09:33):
She said, so next and so the.

Speaker 2 (09:36):
Next breath, so we're talking about this, I'm trying not
to react, be really calm, hold the space.

Speaker 3 (09:42):
Let her talk.

Speaker 2 (09:44):
And then in the next breath she said, so, Mum,
I'm just letting you know that this has happened. But
I then went in and thought, well I can't. I'm
not going to fight that battle. So I deleted the
message and blocked herself from that.

Speaker 3 (09:58):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (09:59):
Good, but how many kids know to do that? How
many kids had that action in place and remove this.

Speaker 1 (10:05):
That there's a lot of cases where the parents aren't
seeing it, Like the parents aren't checking, they're not seeing
those messages.

Speaker 3 (10:10):
That every parent should.

Speaker 1 (10:12):
My question for the person who said that, and it's
easy to jump to a disgusting horrible like horrible kids.

Speaker 4 (10:22):
And where are the parents and.

Speaker 1 (10:25):
All the rest of it, But I actually go, wow,
that's really sad for that child, Like why is that
child feeling so bad about themselves that they're then sotting
that in? And the other question would be, how would
you feel if that person that you told go kill
yourself did it? How would you then live the rest
of your life if you're thinking about you, how.

Speaker 4 (10:48):
Can you live with yourself? It's just a flippant comment.

Speaker 3 (10:52):
I'm with you, it's a flippant comment, right.

Speaker 2 (10:55):
Just to wrap this up, I did, though, see this
particular child at the and I'm not naming names or
anything like that. I'm just saying, you know that feeling
as a parent, that reaction, right is, I could have.

Speaker 3 (11:09):
Gone one way or another.

Speaker 2 (11:10):
When we sort of all came face to face, I
genuinely was like I could have taken that road of
being that parent of going fuck you.

Speaker 3 (11:18):
You think you are, but I didn't, but I wanted to.

Speaker 2 (11:21):
There's like that brain, you know that two parts of
the brain again, And I instead just smiled and smiled
and smiled because I felt, fuck you. I'm gonna kill
you with kindness because I'm not letting you get to me.
And I'm so proud of my child's behavior.

Speaker 1 (11:35):
How was the kid around you a little bit sheepish?

Speaker 3 (11:38):
Oh, she couldn't look at me.

Speaker 2 (11:40):
She could not look at me, and interestingly enough, Mum
wouldn't even side glance at me. Yeah, so whatever's gone on,
I feel for you. But I think the point of
this is, Katie, I get it, I feel it, I've
experienced it. Now, It's like, how can we help each
other make a change from a parent's perspective, because it
starts with us.

Speaker 1 (12:01):
Did you see that chat GPT got into trouble for
that same thing?

Speaker 3 (12:07):
What bullying someone?

Speaker 4 (12:08):
No? No, no, my chatcho find no.

Speaker 1 (12:15):
A fourteen year old boy that went on there asking how.

Speaker 4 (12:20):
He could end his life.

Speaker 1 (12:21):
Chat GPT gave him a full plan on how to
do it and even wrote the note to his parents.

Speaker 3 (12:28):
Oh my god, what did.

Speaker 1 (12:29):
The note to leave behind? Yeah, okay, chat GBT come on, Well,
that will be our next task. We're going to take
on chat tib tish. I don't know how they're going
to manage that.

Speaker 2 (12:41):
This leads me down a rabbit or because I go
for me and they've got stats on this, the biggest
number of views on videos on TikTok around how to
kill yourself. Tell me how that's not fucking removed from TikTok.
If we know it's got the biggest stats around it,
tell me why these are not being deleted.

Speaker 3 (12:58):
Well, you and I get TikTok to you fuck you
know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (13:02):
I'll take your Instagram post down if you swear too
much in it. But if you want to put people yeah,
but if you want to put a post up about
how to keep go for it.

Speaker 1 (13:10):
If you use a song that hasn't been licensed, they
won't down TikTok. We have spoken about this before, but
we put a video up and we got slammed, like
people were saying parenting yeah, which I enjoyed and it
was quite entertaining. But we got a anti bullying notification

(13:33):
from TikTok and I was like, okay, great, they've acknowledged
the fact that we're getting.

Speaker 4 (13:40):
From from that video. What the fuck did it do?

Speaker 3 (13:45):
What it did? Nothing, No, it didn't do anything. There's
still going on.

Speaker 1 (13:48):
That acknowledging, oh yeah, we see that you're getting bullied
from that, and then that just

Speaker 4 (13:53):
Put an emoji on the bottom with the thumbs up.
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