September 21, 2025 • 10 mins
Rach is having to teach her daughter that there's a time and a place for certain conversations; sometimes they're ok in the home but not outside!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Appod Shape Production, welcome back to you with an episode
about my Bad Mom podcast at am I A Bad Mum?
Speaker 2 (00:27):
On Instagram as well, we should put some of our
stories on our actual feet.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
I was just going to say that, actually, good, you
were just having a really good which, if you're our
beautiful community of listeners of his podcast.
Speaker 4 (00:38):
Would have been having a roll as well. I was
on a roll, wasn't I.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Yeah, there were some really good ones in there.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Yeah. I was impressive because if I'm having a cackle
as I'm doing it.
Speaker 4 (00:49):
I know that everyone's going to be having a cackle
with me.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
And then at one stage both of my children are
on either side of me.
Speaker 4 (00:57):
And I'm on am I a Bad Mom?
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Instaff our algorithm is just fucking funny parents stuff.
Speaker 4 (01:04):
So then I get on a roll.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
And then they're on the other side and then they're laughing.
They're heads off at some of them and they're like, no,
it's really like that, and I was like, yeah, I know,
stop laughing at it. Am I a bad mum for
(01:30):
maybe doing it a little bit too late?
Speaker 4 (01:35):
I know.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
I was like, this one is a good little point
out because I was sitting having a conversation about particular
behaviors of Elsie's not a bad way, but you know,
like you sit in reflection. When you sit in reflection,
you're sort of like, wow, I think I left that
bit too late. Yeah, because we're deep in the dive.
Because we're deep in the dive, I don't know how
(01:55):
to get out. Not that you need to get out,
but I need to teach her new ways.
Speaker 4 (02:01):
Does that make sense? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Do you know what's just standing out for me? Analogue clocks.
I realized the other day. My girls are sixteen, and
I said, oh, yeah, I'll pick you up a quarter
to whatever it was. Yeah, what time's that?
Speaker 4 (02:16):
What?
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Whoa?
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Because they do everything in two forty five to fifty yeah?
Speaker 3 (02:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:22):
And also they don't weigh watches.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
No, Like, even though yes, I've got an Apple Watch
and the girls have an Apple watch, I still leave
it on.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
The fact that they've got to read actual clock.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Yes, now I've got the actual clock, but it also
says two forty one.
Speaker 4 (02:37):
No, mine doesn't.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
So I make sure that they've got that because I
still want them to be able to read the time.
Speaker 4 (02:42):
I feel like, no matter.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
How far in the dive we go with technology, you
still need to be able to read the time.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Yeah, there's so many examples of that. Or I'm like,
holy shit.
Speaker 4 (02:54):
That's crazy. But at the same time I get it.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
We had the clocks rach with the different colors and
you know, pink means two and blue means past. We
did all that. Yeah, they just haven't done it for
so many years.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
Yeah I needed to.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
They haven't really changed anything else, So why'd they take
that little bit out of the curriculum.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
I know.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
She's still learning about all the same shit that we
learn about, but you know, okay, take out the curriculum
part of learning how to tell the time.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
I can do algebraever I can't.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
So going back to again having a conversation brings up
you know, like other people they just go, oh, well
I tried this or I did that. So what I'm
talking about with Elsie in particular is that she genuinely
has the confidence. Whatever the highest of confidence is, she's
got it right with it anything, even if she doesn't
(03:53):
know what she's talking about, she could sell to an
eskimo right. Also with that comes her little bit of
like she's got sass like every ten year old girl.
And on top of the sass, of a ten year
old girl, she's actually quite funny. And then on top
of her humor, she's actually just like got that element
(04:14):
of like.
Speaker 4 (04:15):
She can be a dick sometimes. So then we just
put all that together.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
And what I'm getting at is, sometimes if Elsie's with
you and she is going to have a conversation with
you that she might have with me, because I understand
Elsie and I understand her sass and all of it.
When it comes together, for other people, it might come
across the route.
Speaker 4 (04:37):
Okay, do you know what I mean? It makes sense. Yeah,
And so.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
I've been really like on her a little bit at
the moment, in particular because she's found this next level
of confidence to even push the boundaries a little bit more.
And I was like, Babe, it's all good here in
our safe space. But just remember, and it's not like
I'm not talking down to it. I'm just trying to
like give her like little points. Just remember if you're
at somebody else's dinner table right now, I said, their
(05:02):
parents might not take that as funny.
Speaker 4 (05:04):
Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
So Jay sometimes has like accents like around the girls,
and then I catch the girls doing it and I'm like, Okay,
only do that. You can't do that.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
Yeah. Yeah, so that's exactly Elsie, but with her whole
personality at the moment and at ten, I am not
squashing it, right, I don't want to squash it. But
the takeaway from having this catch up with a friend
was who said, I started to go down the track
of learning myself.
Speaker 4 (05:30):
About the four gates of speech.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
Why don't you try and teach Elsie the four gates
meaning the gates into what speech is right? And she said,
you sort of talked to the kids about like the
four gates.
Speaker 4 (05:43):
Being is it kind?
Speaker 3 (05:45):
So you need to ask yourself all of these questions
before you let rip. Okay, is it kind? Is it
truth or truthful? Is there truth in it?
Speaker 4 (05:55):
Is it necessary?
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (05:57):
And is it the right time?
Speaker 3 (05:59):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (06:00):
Okay, Okay. Number four right now for her is the big.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
One where I'm having troubles with, Yeah, of going like
babe time and place, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Because there should really be a fifth one. But is
it funny?
Speaker 3 (06:11):
Yeah? No? And giving Sam and their dad a little
bit of credit where credit's due, like he can be
funny sometimes, but then the girls learning that humor. I
think it's then okay for our child to do the same.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
And it's not certain things that you say amongst friends, Oh,
we say them on this podcast. Yeah, because we're amongst friends. Yeah,
I mean, I don't know how many people have switched
off going fucking can't say that. I don't know that information.
But we definitely say things that are a little bit controversial
(06:47):
or a little bit edgy that you perhaps wouldn't say
in certain situations or around people.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
Yeah, maybe we need to use the four gates of
speech in this poet.
Speaker 4 (06:57):
Let me RecA playing in a second. Is it kind?
Is it truthful?
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Sometimes?
Speaker 4 (07:02):
Is it necessary? Absolutely? It is? People are laughing? And
is it the right time?
Speaker 3 (07:09):
My I'd look if I'm looking at my own gates
of speech kind, yes, truthful?
Speaker 4 (07:15):
Yes, necessary? Absolutely, right time?
Speaker 3 (07:17):
If I was to edge my own way, like sort
of reflection moment of going like which one is not
really my strongest. My strongest is right timing? Yeah, so
no one else is there as well? Talk about right timing?
Sam also wrong time every time? Highly inappropriate? Yeah, maybe
highly inappropriate, wrong time every time? Truthful probably, but no
(07:41):
one wants to hear it, meaning like truthful when usually
saying the inappropriate things, And I want to hear it
because's probably got a bit of truth to it, but
at the same time probably controversial.
Speaker 4 (07:50):
That's why it's inappropriate, because it's truthful. Kind always kindness
is leading.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
But yeah, I definitely, I just found it really interesting
because I had never heard of it put that way.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
I know I hadn't either. I have definitely had conversations
with my girls where I'm like, we can have a
laugh about that in this house, but don't say.
Speaker 4 (08:12):
And that's the same thing with Els. I'm always like that,
just going like walking past somebody.
Speaker 3 (08:21):
I genuinely saw Gracie the dooy it this morning, as
when I dropped her off for school, and then this
poor person going past and no legs. No I wasn't
walking obviously, but like in a wheelchair.
Speaker 4 (08:35):
And she just well, she's staring, staring. She's staring.
Speaker 3 (08:39):
Now she's not staring out of disrespect, but it's like
she's twelve.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
She's staring because she's interested and she wants to know
going on and it's something difference.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
Yeah, yeah, no, you know all that awkward silence in
between where your three year old has thrown out a
comment about somebody walking past because they look different to
what they know io or.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
And I've definitely been in this situation where you get
in a lift with your small a children, a quiet
lift and there's someone that's a little larger in there,
and you're like, please, don's anything about.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
Being well, you're in okay, Just to wrap it up,
but this one happened to be so many times, still does,
still does, but on different levels. You're in the toilet
cubicle and you have your child with you, a they
either take the option to open the fucking door as
you're on the toilet, don't open the door.
Speaker 4 (09:30):
Don't open the door. And there's the door and you're like.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Especially if it's one of those ones, you know, one
of those ones that slides open like and you press
the button to lock it and they're so awkward anyway,
but you can't love in and you're waiting for it
to slowly, so you just stood there waiting for the
door just like slowly slight cross close.
Speaker 3 (09:53):
You're in the disabled toilet and it's really slow and
everyone else is walking past, not meant to be using this.
Speaker 4 (10:01):
Toilet, but I am, and the door's really slow.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
Old pushes the button while you're on the toilet and
you'll just set there and there's nothing you can do
because it's just opening. All we could do is smile.
Speaker 4 (10:17):
A wave midshit
Appod Shape Production, welcome back to you with an episode
about my Bad Mom podcast at am I A Bad Mum?
Speaker 2 (00:27):
On Instagram as well, we should put some of our
stories on our actual feet.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
I was just going to say that, actually, good, you
were just having a really good which, if you're our
beautiful community of listeners of his podcast.
Speaker 4 (00:38):
Would have been having a roll as well. I was
on a roll, wasn't I.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Yeah, there were some really good ones in there.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Yeah. I was impressive because if I'm having a cackle
as I'm doing it.
Speaker 4 (00:49):
I know that everyone's going to be having a cackle
with me.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
And then at one stage both of my children are
on either side of me.
Speaker 4 (00:57):
And I'm on am I a Bad Mom?
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Instaff our algorithm is just fucking funny parents stuff.
Speaker 4 (01:04):
So then I get on a roll.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
And then they're on the other side and then they're laughing.
They're heads off at some of them and they're like, no,
it's really like that, and I was like, yeah, I know,
stop laughing at it. Am I a bad mum for
(01:30):
maybe doing it a little bit too late?
Speaker 4 (01:35):
I know.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
I was like, this one is a good little point
out because I was sitting having a conversation about particular
behaviors of Elsie's not a bad way, but you know,
like you sit in reflection. When you sit in reflection,
you're sort of like, wow, I think I left that
bit too late. Yeah, because we're deep in the dive.
Because we're deep in the dive, I don't know how
(01:55):
to get out. Not that you need to get out,
but I need to teach her new ways.
Speaker 4 (02:01):
Does that make sense? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Do you know what's just standing out for me? Analogue clocks.
I realized the other day. My girls are sixteen, and
I said, oh, yeah, I'll pick you up a quarter
to whatever it was. Yeah, what time's that?
Speaker 4 (02:16):
What?
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Whoa?
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Because they do everything in two forty five to fifty yeah?
Speaker 3 (02:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:22):
And also they don't weigh watches.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
No, Like, even though yes, I've got an Apple Watch
and the girls have an Apple watch, I still leave
it on.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
The fact that they've got to read actual clock.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Yes, now I've got the actual clock, but it also
says two forty one.
Speaker 4 (02:37):
No, mine doesn't.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
So I make sure that they've got that because I
still want them to be able to read the time.
Speaker 4 (02:42):
I feel like, no matter.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
How far in the dive we go with technology, you
still need to be able to read the time.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Yeah, there's so many examples of that. Or I'm like,
holy shit.
Speaker 4 (02:54):
That's crazy. But at the same time I get it.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
We had the clocks rach with the different colors and
you know, pink means two and blue means past. We
did all that. Yeah, they just haven't done it for
so many years.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
Yeah I needed to.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
They haven't really changed anything else, So why'd they take
that little bit out of the curriculum.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
I know.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
She's still learning about all the same shit that we
learn about, but you know, okay, take out the curriculum
part of learning how to tell the time.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
I can do algebraever I can't.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
So going back to again having a conversation brings up
you know, like other people they just go, oh, well
I tried this or I did that. So what I'm
talking about with Elsie in particular is that she genuinely
has the confidence. Whatever the highest of confidence is, she's
got it right with it anything, even if she doesn't
(03:53):
know what she's talking about, she could sell to an
eskimo right. Also with that comes her little bit of
like she's got sass like every ten year old girl.
And on top of the sass, of a ten year
old girl, she's actually quite funny. And then on top
of her humor, she's actually just like got that element
(04:14):
of like.
Speaker 4 (04:15):
She can be a dick sometimes. So then we just
put all that together.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
And what I'm getting at is, sometimes if Elsie's with
you and she is going to have a conversation with
you that she might have with me, because I understand
Elsie and I understand her sass and all of it.
When it comes together, for other people, it might come
across the route.
Speaker 4 (04:37):
Okay, do you know what I mean? It makes sense. Yeah,
And so.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
I've been really like on her a little bit at
the moment, in particular because she's found this next level
of confidence to even push the boundaries a little bit more.
And I was like, Babe, it's all good here in
our safe space. But just remember, and it's not like
I'm not talking down to it. I'm just trying to
like give her like little points. Just remember if you're
at somebody else's dinner table right now, I said, their
(05:02):
parents might not take that as funny.
Speaker 4 (05:04):
Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
So Jay sometimes has like accents like around the girls,
and then I catch the girls doing it and I'm like, Okay,
only do that. You can't do that.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
Yeah. Yeah, so that's exactly Elsie, but with her whole
personality at the moment and at ten, I am not
squashing it, right, I don't want to squash it. But
the takeaway from having this catch up with a friend
was who said, I started to go down the track
of learning myself.
Speaker 4 (05:30):
About the four gates of speech.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
Why don't you try and teach Elsie the four gates
meaning the gates into what speech is right? And she said,
you sort of talked to the kids about like the
four gates.
Speaker 4 (05:43):
Being is it kind?
Speaker 3 (05:45):
So you need to ask yourself all of these questions
before you let rip. Okay, is it kind? Is it
truth or truthful? Is there truth in it?
Speaker 4 (05:55):
Is it necessary?
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (05:57):
And is it the right time?
Speaker 3 (05:59):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (06:00):
Okay, Okay. Number four right now for her is the big.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
One where I'm having troubles with, Yeah, of going like
babe time and place, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Because there should really be a fifth one. But is
it funny?
Speaker 3 (06:11):
Yeah? No? And giving Sam and their dad a little
bit of credit where credit's due, like he can be
funny sometimes, but then the girls learning that humor. I
think it's then okay for our child to do the same.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
And it's not certain things that you say amongst friends, Oh,
we say them on this podcast. Yeah, because we're amongst friends. Yeah,
I mean, I don't know how many people have switched
off going fucking can't say that. I don't know that information.
But we definitely say things that are a little bit controversial
(06:47):
or a little bit edgy that you perhaps wouldn't say
in certain situations or around people.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
Yeah, maybe we need to use the four gates of
speech in this poet.
Speaker 4 (06:57):
Let me RecA playing in a second. Is it kind?
Is it truthful?
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Sometimes?
Speaker 4 (07:02):
Is it necessary? Absolutely? It is? People are laughing? And
is it the right time?
Speaker 3 (07:09):
My I'd look if I'm looking at my own gates
of speech kind, yes, truthful?
Speaker 4 (07:15):
Yes, necessary? Absolutely, right time?
Speaker 3 (07:17):
If I was to edge my own way, like sort
of reflection moment of going like which one is not
really my strongest. My strongest is right timing? Yeah, so
no one else is there as well? Talk about right timing?
Sam also wrong time every time? Highly inappropriate? Yeah, maybe
highly inappropriate, wrong time every time? Truthful probably, but no
(07:41):
one wants to hear it, meaning like truthful when usually
saying the inappropriate things, And I want to hear it
because's probably got a bit of truth to it, but
at the same time probably controversial.
Speaker 4 (07:50):
That's why it's inappropriate, because it's truthful. Kind always kindness
is leading.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
But yeah, I definitely, I just found it really interesting
because I had never heard of it put that way.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
I know I hadn't either. I have definitely had conversations
with my girls where I'm like, we can have a
laugh about that in this house, but don't say.
Speaker 4 (08:12):
And that's the same thing with Els. I'm always like that,
just going like walking past somebody.
Speaker 3 (08:21):
I genuinely saw Gracie the dooy it this morning, as
when I dropped her off for school, and then this
poor person going past and no legs. No I wasn't
walking obviously, but like in a wheelchair.
Speaker 4 (08:35):
And she just well, she's staring, staring. She's staring.
Speaker 3 (08:39):
Now she's not staring out of disrespect, but it's like
she's twelve.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
She's staring because she's interested and she wants to know
going on and it's something difference.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
Yeah, yeah, no, you know all that awkward silence in
between where your three year old has thrown out a
comment about somebody walking past because they look different to
what they know io or.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
And I've definitely been in this situation where you get
in a lift with your small a children, a quiet
lift and there's someone that's a little larger in there,
and you're like, please, don's anything about.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
Being well, you're in okay, Just to wrap it up,
but this one happened to be so many times, still does,
still does, but on different levels. You're in the toilet
cubicle and you have your child with you, a they
either take the option to open the fucking door as
you're on the toilet, don't open the door.
Speaker 4 (09:30):
Don't open the door. And there's the door and you're like.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Especially if it's one of those ones, you know, one
of those ones that slides open like and you press
the button to lock it and they're so awkward anyway,
but you can't love in and you're waiting for it
to slowly, so you just stood there waiting for the
door just like slowly slight cross close.
Speaker 3 (09:53):
You're in the disabled toilet and it's really slow and
everyone else is walking past, not meant to be using this.
Speaker 4 (10:01):
Toilet, but I am, and the door's really slow.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
Old pushes the button while you're on the toilet and
you'll just set there and there's nothing you can do
because it's just opening. All we could do is smile.
Speaker 4 (10:17):
A wave midshit
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