What are the most important things a senior loved one wants when they need a change in housing or an augmentation of care? The things they want most, their highest values, are critical to find for them. Often they aren't the things we expect that they are. Being a good listener is key during this process. You need to become an advocate for their values rather than your own. You have to hear what's not being said.
Daphne says, "I'm going to speak to one that's very common, that usually is misunderstood, and that is when I hear an adult child, saying,' well, my mom used to do x, and I'd love to see her do it again.' And very seldom does that happen. And so adult children will make their highest value a place with lots of activities, a place with lots of hubbub. And most often, that is not a value of the 80 or 90 year old now.
"And I say 80 or 90 year old because they're not 40, 50, 60 anymore. And life changes, it slows down. There's a different set of what it means to get through a day. And as adult children, we're not there. We don't understand it. We still want to hang on to mom or dad as that vibrant person, [and not] acknowledge that they're 80 plus years old.
"When we're making a change in housing and care for someone, their world is being turned upside down... As a furniture walker, they need help with balance. If they're a person that gets up in the middle of the night three times to go to the bathroom, they know how many steps it is. They know what corner to hang on to, so they don't fall. They know what side the toilet paper is on. All of that is going to change. And I promise you, your loved one is thinking about that."
Reach Pinnacle at 1-855-734-1500 or visit PinnacleSeniorPlacements.com.
To final a referral agent in your area, visit the National Placement & Referral Alliance website search.
Learn more:
* Pinnacle Senior Placements at Answers for Elders.
* Hear more podcasts with Daphne Davis
Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks.
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Legacy Estate Planning
Chateau Retirement
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