Ready or in Denial, Part 5: Care and Costs

How do you pay for care? And care is expensive. You will be in stick shock to learn how much senior living costs. You may also be surprised at the reality of a senior loved one's actual level of functioning. Are you in denial over the next chapter of caring for someone you love? Or are you ready? Daphne Davis from Pinnacle Senior Placements joins Suzanne on the Answers for Elders Podcast for part 5 of their six-part series being prepared for difficult conversations and what comes after.

Daphne says, "There's an element of planning that I hope our listeners will hear and know that you can't wait until you're 70, 75 years old to think about this. It really is a sweet spot, about 55 to 60, to be thinking about this in terms of considering even long term care insurance, in terms of maximizing your buying power with your estate. But having resources and hearing the shock of the cost of care is where I see shoulders drop, where I see families lose hope, The twinkle goes out of their eye and they're like, We can't afford that."

Daphne goes over some finances options, including the basics of what to consider for reverse mortgages, Aid in Attendance, Medicaid, and life settlement.

She also talks about the level of care your loved one might really need. "Your intentions are spot on. Your heart is in the right place, but you don't see, sometimes, your loved one with the eyes of reality. I'm not taking anything away from all of your family caregivers out there. But you see them differently than professional eyes. Rational eyes are here to help your mom have the highest quality of life as possible. Still keep her independence, but not stress her out because she doesn't always get her arm in the sleeve, or it's hard for her to pick out something in the closet to wear, because there might be some condition issues. Set someone up for success."

As an example, Daphne says, "Mom is in a community now and we're really understanding that if there's any kind of cognition challenges, Mom does need help getting to the dining room. Turning left or right, or getting on the elevator and what floor am I on, is too much. It’s not quality of life to stress somebody out with figuring out what button am I supposed to push? And you might be there on one day and mom pushes the button just fine. But at 8:00 in the morning for breakfast, she wasn't synapsing as well. Or mom or dad – and this is universal – can pull it together for the people that they want to please or not be a burden to. And really, as a family member, you need to listen to the people who are caring for your mom day in and day out who are the professionals. You have to have an element of trust there."

Reach Pinnacle at 1-855-734-1500 or visit PinnacleSeniorPlacements.com.

To final a referral agent in your area, visit the National Placement & Referral Alliance website search.

Learn more:

* Pinnacle Senior Placements at Answers for Elders.

* About Daphne Davis

* Hear more podcasts with Daphne Davis

Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks.

Mentioned in this episode:

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