May 12, 2025 • 63 mins
Alka Sharma hosts Sifu Rafael, who discusses the power of connections, personal growth, and overcoming adversity. He shares his transition from the corporate world to martial arts, highlighting the importance of mindset and discipline. They cover essential modern disciplines, the seven pillars of health, and principles for success. Sifu Rafael offers advice for martial arts beginners and examines its cultural impact. The episode explores the relationship between emotions, mindset, and communication, offering public speaking tips. Sifu Rafael also introduces his Mind Body Method program, while Alka concludes with thoughts on authenticity and perseverance.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
I'm gonna
Everyone, welcome back to another episode ofAsk the Experts podcast.
We are grateful to each and every one of youwho tune in week in and week out to listen,
learn, and grow.
Today's show is gonna be phenomenal.
I have an amazing guest today, Sifu Rafael,who's gonna be sharing insights of about his
(00:27):
journey, how he has helped people, individualsto gain clarity through communication,
leadership.
So we're gonna dive deep in into Sifu Raphael'sjourney.
Sifu Raphael is a master instructorentrepreneur, and he is the founder of Speaking
Prowess where he helps individuals throughcommunication and leadership to unlock their
(00:55):
full potential.
With over fifty years of experience, SikoRafael has impacted individuals through his
seven global live shows whereby he'stransformed and risen people to become stronger
physically, mentally, and emotionally.
(01:16):
Now Sifu Raphael, his mission is simple yetpowerful.
Sifu Rafael is on a mission.
He's on a quest to help people to gain clarityand to gain clarity in their voice, but also to
help them to transform their lives inside andout.
(01:40):
Welcome everybody to ask the experts podcast,Sifu Raphael.
Wow.
What a pleasure.
Where do I send the check?
That was such a good introduction.
You can send it after the show.
There you go.
There you go.
I appreciate you.
And you did mention that I have seven shows,and I'm so fortunate that you were on some as
(02:01):
well.
Absolutely.
Probably coming on some more.
So I am blessed to know you, my friend.
Absolutely.
Likewise.
You know, I returned back the favor.
I've been on your shows, which is why I wantedto return that favor to you, Sisu, Rafael.
You know, you are extraordinary.
First of all, I just wanna start off withacknowledging you because you are such an
(02:25):
extraordinary human being that whatever youhave done, the businesses that you have, you
know, cultivated, you've impacted so manypeople through so many lives that you have
changed.
It is incredible.
And, absolutely, I was on your show.
I was on the speaking prowess.
(02:46):
I can't remember countless how many other showsI was on, but you are such an amazing person to
to know.
So I'm grateful to you, Sifu.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
And and, you know, the feeling is mutualbecause you actually we got to know you, during
that show, and we we we became a little bitcloser.
(03:08):
And every time we have a conversation, I thinkit just deepens the connection, and I believe
that connections are powerful.
And and you talked about me impacting so manypeople.
And to be honest with you, it's because of theimpact that was generated for me.
When I was young, I had polio as a kid.
(03:30):
I lost the ability to walk, and it was it wasthrough God that he guided me.
And, basically, I I kinda communicate with himevery day.
He's he's, he's holding my hand everywhere Igo, and I always ask him how can I be better
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because he's given me so many gifts that Ican't I can't hoard those gifts?
I gotta give them back.
So I ask him for the grace that I can pleaseallow me to share my my gifts that he's given
me with my brothers and sisters, and that'swhat I live with every day.
How can I help?
(04:11):
That is my mission.
That is such a powerful mission.
And, you know, absolutely.
I do agree with you.
You know?
When you have God by your side, you know, thehigher power creator, whatever, you know, you
wish to call it, but as long as we have godwith us, and it is so beautiful how you
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communicate with the higher power to give youthe higher power so that you can lead the
mission that you wanna lead.
So, you know, that is so beautiful, and Ireally want to just acknowledge you, first of
all, on that.
So, Sifu, can you share with us your backstory?
What inspired you to, you know, have thebusinesses that you have today, the success
(04:57):
that you have?
What inspired you?
Can you share with us so that we can get toknow you a bit more?
Sure.
So like I said earlier, I had polio, and here'sthe crazy thing.
Nobody told me what I was going through.
The doctors didn't tell me.
My family didn't tell me.
(05:18):
And so I started communicating with God.
Help me figure a way.
Let me be strong.
So that's when I learned that I couldn't quit.
Quitting is not an option for me.
Don't get me wrong.
We sometimes have to quit certain things inlife to move ahead.
So I have quit certain jobs that were notelevating me when I was working in in corporate
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and because they didn't see the gifts that Iwas sharing.
And I'm like, you guys don't see what I have,and it's okay.
And I'm I'm here, and I'm here, and I'm giving.
I'm giving.
But they didn't accept them.
So I said, you know, I gotta go somewhere else.
My gifts are gonna be accepted.
And so that's how I moved up the corporateladder.
But I've realized that it's not about money forme.
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It's about helping.
So everywhere, when I show up, I'm not showingup because don't get me wrong.
I love going to these incredible rooms wherethere's incredible people, and I don't wanna be
the smartest person in the room because thenI'm in the wrong room.
Right?
For me, it's always about if I show up in aroom and and I happen to be one of the smart
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people in it, I don't wanna leave anybodybehind.
So I wanna make sure that everybody in the roomelevates.
So that's what has taught me that understandingthat quitting is not an option.
I've taken that with me everywhere I go.
When I take on a new venture, a new business, anew opportunity, I I take it with full gusto.
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I do not allow it to scare me because fearparalyzes growth.
Yes.
I'll say that again.
Fear paralyzes growth.
And it's okay to be nervous or anxious.
And I always tell my clients, it's okay ifyou're nervous.
If you have butterflies, then they go, yeah.
(07:17):
I said, good.
Make them fly in formation.
And instead of being anxious or nervous, turnit to excitement.
I'm excited about what's gonna happen next.
I may not know this, but I love the word yet.
Yeah.
That's the biggest word that I love teachingpeople because I don't know everything, and I
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will never know everything.
But if I wanna learn a certain subject, I gottaget into it.
I gotta dive in.
I may not be an expert today, but give me timebecause I will go deep.
Well, as they say, Sifu, time is of theessence.
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And as long as you don't quit, as long as wedon't quit and it's all about the mindset.
Would you say it's the mindset that reallykeeps you stagnant as your mindset that really
helps you to to get ahead in life?
And you talked about fear.
What is fear?
Well, as we know, fear is a false evidence ofbeing real.
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So it's it's just in your imagination.
Right?
It's just in your imagination that the the fearof public speaking, of of communication as you
are the expert of communication.
So fear as but you were absolutely a % right.
As long as we don't give up on that mission, onthat quest, it is so important to do that.
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So, Sifu, I'm I'm so glad you're here becauseas master of the martial arts, you're a
fantastic instructor, what what discipline doyou teach, first of all?
I teach kung fu.
Kung I I teach two styles, and I also teachinternal, which is tai chi.
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I also teach into, internal, which is hei gong,nei gong.
Uh-huh.
And the style of kung fu I teach incorporatesevery aspect of fighting, if you will, from
stand up to ground fighting to close quarterfighting to throwing, so weaponry also.
So we we have to use all of the skills becauseyou never know what what you're gonna face.
(09:37):
Right?
That is so true.
We don't.
But, you know, martial arts is such a form ofyou know, it is discipline.
And I just wanna touch upon you know, I'm soglad that you're here to to share with our
audience.
Because as a martial artist, you it's all aboutthe mind body connection.
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And I feel most people in this modern world,they are lacking the discipline, and they are
lacking the connection.
And I know it's an improvement.
It's a process that is a learning, theteachings that we have to go through to to
cultivate the discipline, to cultivate themotivation.
(10:22):
So I just wanna, you know, touch upon thisquestion.
So, you know, leading on from the feelings andthe mindset, what would you say are the
discipline?
What what would you say are the requirementsthat people need to cultivate in order to
really extend or excel in their lives today inthis modern world that we live in?
(10:46):
That that's a great powerful question.
I just wanna let everybody know that, in themartial arts world, we say discipline, we say
focus, we say self esteem.
But I've met so many martial artist instructorswho don't live that lifestyle.
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They live when they have pictures on theirwalls when they were 18, 20, and they're in
great shape.
And then you look at them now, and they'resmoking.
They're heavy.
They could barely move, but they're notembodying what they teach.
And so I think discipline has to be embodiedmentally and physically.
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It can't just be like, oh, yes.
I am disciplined, but I'm gonna go, you know,and eat unhealthy.
Right.
I believe that discipline is a state of mind.
You have to negotiate every day because we havechoices.
We drive down the block and look, fast foodhere, fast food there.
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Oh, I smell Dunkin' Donuts, I smell this, or Ismell that, or look what that person is eating,
and oh, I want some of that.
But you have to make the disciplined decisionand the question that I always ask my food,
what are you gonna do to me if I eat you?
(12:16):
Right?
How are you gonna take care of this gift thatgod gave me?
Mhmm.
Because this is a gift.
I don't take it for granted.
The reason I never take it for granted isbecause I reclaim my ability to walk.
Yes.
This is why I work out every single day.
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So when we think of discipline, when we thinkof even the confidence to say no to something
Mhmm.
I think the real vision that we need to have,if today is my last day on this earth, how did
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I live my life?
That is beautiful.
Wow.
Mhmm.
I don't know when I'm gonna go.
But on that day, if it is my last day, I wannalook back.
By the way, Alka, you're invited to myhundredth birthday party because I'm having it.
We're gonna dance.
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We're gonna have fun.
We're gonna have all these different things.
All these other people are gonna be there.
But if I'm not thinking of having thathundredth birthday party, I will not do the
things that are gonna get me there.
Right.
My great great grandfather will be he lived tobe 13.
Wow.
Gonna kick his butt.
I know.
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I know.
I'm gonna kick his butt, but here's the thing.
The reason he I one of the reasons I know isbecause he did not eat processed foods like
there is
in the world.
Yes.
He ate off the land.
So he didn't think eat things out of a bag or aa box or a can.
(14:03):
Mhmm.
He ate off the land.
And so the more that we can reimagine our liveseating what was meant for us to eat, the
healthier we'll live.
That's why I also created a program calledseafood's mind body method where we teach the
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seven pillars of health.
Amazing.
That is beautiful.
But, Sifa, that is so true.
Absolutely.
Back in the days, you know, our parents, ourgrandparents, they lived a healthier land.
Why?
Because everything was fresh, and everythingwas from the land.
And now people you know, we have a lot ofprocessed food that is kinda damaging damaging
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our body.
It's damaging our minds as a result of what weput in our body is in a direct reflection, you
know, hindering your mind.
So it is so important.
So, Sifu, share with us what are the hindrancesthat is really affecting people today, why they
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are lacking or why they're lacking in thedirection if they wanna go to maybe start a
business, or why are they lacking to to improveon their body, to have that physique that
they've always wanted?
What are the hindrances that are preventingpeople to take that action to to to take that
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step pretty much?
What would that be?
Yeah.
I'm gonna share something that was prettyprofound, that was told to me by one of my
clients recently.
And he said, what if we didn't have this body?
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Would we be male or female?
Wow.
I was I was deep.
And I said, you know, if we can get out of ourhead and into our body, how should we live our
life?
We should live our life to sustain this, if youwill, carcass, or I I prefer to call it a gift
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from God, and to sustain it in a way that I amkeeping my mind sharp.
I was up early this morning.
I worked out.
I did my meditation, my journaling, my praying,and then I did studying.
And I I some of my members, I go, how wasschool?
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They're like, I don't go to school.
I said, well, maybe you should start.
Because every day I am in this I am studyingbecause life is my school.
I learn every day.
I improve.
I know more than I did yesterday.
I know way more than I did ten years ago.
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And every day, I want to continue to grow bothphysically and mentally.
I don't wanna grow physically.
I mean, outward or upward.
I wanna grow internally so our body doesregenerate certain parts, regenerate every
couple of hours.
Our eyes, our eyeballs regenerate every fortyeight hours.
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So there's all these studies that tell us thatwe do regenerate.
But if we're not fueling it correctly Uh-huh.
What are we doing?
Are we hurting the process, the natural godgiven process that our body goes through and
when we ingest all these things that are gonnahurt that process, who are we to blame?
(17:54):
Right.
Exactly.
Every day.
Every day.
This is why I created the the seven pillars.
And can I share those with you?
Absolutely.
Yes.
Go ahead.
Yes.
So one, and and we talked about it, is ismindset.
Right?
Then we have movement.
Then we have nutrition.
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We have hydration.
We have journaling.
We have fasting.
And currently, right now, I last meal I ate wasyesterday at 7PM.
Right now, it's 1PM.
I'm sorry.
It's 2PM.
So I haven't eaten.
All I've done is drank.
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Right now, I am sharp.
I am alert.
I am powered, energized, and it's the food thatI ate yesterday that is doing that.
My body is breaking it down and using it theright way.
But prior to that, I had been on a twenty sevenhour fast.
I'm not gonna eat today till probably twentytwo hours.
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Right?
Wow.
But the food I eat has a purpose.
I'm gonna fuel this crazy machine that God gaveme, this beautiful machine.
And and the the final step to my process,Sifu's mind body method is the seventh one is
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spiritual.
So whatever you believe, whether you believe inGod or the universe, whatever it is, you need
that.
You need to believe in something higher thanyou.
Otherwise, how can we become better if we don'tbelieve in something higher than us?
Absolutely.
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That is such a and and the higher power, god orthe creator wants us to become better because
that that's what he wants.
And it will be such a shame if we don't fallfor that.
So, Sifu, I just wanna touch upon what youmentioned.
If you're not growing and as individuals, weare growing or we want to grow.
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We should grow every single day.
We should improve on our lives.
And the the measure that I do anyhow where whowas I yesterday?
What did I do yesterday?
And if we can start to improve that 1% everyday, would you say this is these are the steps
that you have taken for your success to havethe measure as to where are you today?
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Where do you need to go?
And what are those steps that we need to do?
Could you share with us the principles that youthat you have lived by, and what do you do to
get to have the success that you are having?
I appreciate that question.
Thank you so much.
Alka, I gotta tell you deep deep thought outquestions, so I appreciate that very much.
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Think about purpose.
What's my purpose here?
I know my purpose.
My purpose is to help as many people as Ipossibly can.
And if I start that way every single day Yes.
Then I have to take care of that here, my mind.
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I start every day with prayer, and then I thankgod and allow me thank you for the gifts.
Please allow me to share them with my brothersand sisters.
So when we start thinking about preparing ourday, we should prepare our day.
If you allow someone else to do it, you're notgonna be happy.
(21:47):
Mhmm.
We already have everything pulling at us.
If you can imagine social media, if it had athread, there'd be a thousand, maybe 10,000
threads pulling on me.
And then families over here pulling, and thensomebody else is here pulling friends,
relationships, businesses.
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You so all of a sudden, you're you're thispuppet with all these strings pulling at you.
We need to cut the strings.
We need to do that.
The first thing we get up, we wake up, and weshield ourselves from all of that and not allow
anything or anyone to control our destiny.
(22:34):
Yes.
If there is destiny, we should be the driver.
You can call Destiny your car if you like.
Just make it a really cool looking car.
Make it whatever color you like.
I like it pink.
There you go.
Pink, hot, beautiful, powerful car.
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But every day, we do have that choice.
We have a choice to wake up in a way that it'snot about us.
It's about not us when I say me, but us, youand me.
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Because I've I'm very selfish, by the way.
But I take my selfish time when I'm alone.
And then when I'm with other people, I am nolonger selfish.
It's about serving.
How can I help?
What can I do?
Put me to work.
Put me to do something.
And people are like, oh, no.
You're you're my guest.
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I'm like, yeah.
But I don't wanna sit here and and and, youknow, do this with my fingers.
I wanna use my hands.
They're a gift.
Help me.
Can can I wash the dishes, or can I do this?
Can I move this?
Right.
Can I cut some onions?
Whatever you need me to do, if if I come over,I'm there.
(24:01):
If I go to an event, you need more chairs here,you need me to hand out things, whatever.
Yeah.
But we're paying you to do this.
I'm like, they're paying me to be a speaker,but that doesn't mean I stop serving just
because I'm speaking.
Right.
Uh-huh.
If I can use me as a human being, as a machine,use me.
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So I I over deliver when somebody hires me tobe a speaker at the event because I'm not just
a speaker.
And, that's what makes
I'm a gift.
Like, you are a gift.
Oh, appreciate.
Thank you.
And, Sifu, that's what makes you such aremarkable individual.
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That's what makes you who you are today.
You know, this such an amazing person.
You have such an amazing heart, such an amazingsoul that you never stop.
You never stop serving even though you are youknow, you're a global speaker and you are you
you're speaking at events, but yet you stillwanna serve.
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And that says so much about you.
And I'm just, you know, so honored to haveknown you, but the individual who you are is
such an amazing human being.
And your heart is just so pure that you justyou know, you you can't help it.
You just wanna serve, and that is so beautiful.
(25:31):
I love that.
Thank you.
Yeah.
And so, Sifa, so I wanna touch upon what wejust spoke about, you know, pertaining to your
martial arts background.
We talked about the discipline, what isrequired, you know, is that mind body
connection.
And our viewers who perhaps they wanna get intomartial arts, what is that one discipline that
(25:55):
perhaps things do with tai chi, kung fu?
There were just so many jujitsu.
What share with us what are the steps perhapsthat anyone who's listening who wants to get
into the martial arts, what's that first stepthat they need to do?
Do they need to have the experience, or whatwhat happens?
(26:17):
How did you get started?
I stepped into it by luck.
But for anybody who's listening, who is anadult or even who has kids, I always encourage
people to interview.
Interview if you're gonna go to an instructorand say, how are your classes?
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Can I watch a class?
Can I participate in a class?
Even before you sign up.
Showing up is number one.
Mhmm.
You can't do anything unless you're present.
So you need to be in the presence of training.
You need to go to a martial arts school.
(27:00):
But not every and I I said before, not everymartial arts school is created the same.
Some are there just because they want yourmoney.
Mhmm.
I'm not about that.
When I first started, I was like, yeah.
I wanna build in.
I have some but then I said, wait a minute.
What am I doing?
That's I'm not serving anybody.
I'm just taking their money.
I always taught great classes.
(27:21):
Don't get me wrong.
Right.
I always believed in what I taught, but then Ichanged it.
And I said, you know, not everybody who'scoming to me even wants to be here.
Right.
They think they wanna be.
Uh-huh.
I only want the ones that really wanna be herethat wanna have the experience that I can give
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them.
So I do a one free class, no strings attached,and then I'm probably crazy.
I let them try one month with no commitmentwhatsoever.
Unlimited classes come as often as you like,and I even include a free uniform, and it's
(28:02):
it's ridiculously low price.
It's it's only a hundred and $29 for the month.
And people are like, are you crazy?
The uniform costs $60.
And, you know, the the the and I'm like, youknow, it's not about that.
Also, I'm not a childcare service.
So if somebody brings their kids, the parentshave to remain.
(28:25):
They have to be there.
They have to watch.
They have to participate.
And I don't put the parents behind a window.
The parents are in the same room with the kids.
Alright.
I have chairs for the parents.
And then I tell the kids, go work with yourparents because now we're teaching the parents
how to do the moves because when they go backhome, now they're doing they're helping their
(28:48):
kids.
They have someone to practice with.
What winds up happening is the parents go,excuse me.
Yes.
Do you have classes for me?
Absolutely.
So now I'm getting I'm capturing theirattention because now they wanna do what their
kids are doing.
And now what happens is there's this deeperconnection than if the parents were on a soccer
(29:14):
field.
Right?
So many parents on a baseball field, anything.
The parents are behind the scenery.
Right.
You're not involved.
Yes.
A parent can throw a catch with their kid, butthey're not playing the game.
With us, the parents are there.
When they I have little kids sparring.
I start them at five years old, four years old.
(29:36):
They may be sparring, and the parents arethere.
They I tell them tell them how to block.
Tell them to kick.
Tell them to do all these things so the parentsare involved in their child's growth.
And then when I give them a stripe, they geteight stripes, then they turn around and they
go, what stripe was that?
They write it in their book.
So it's about engaging every member Mhmm.
(30:00):
Into what they're doing.
So if you're looking to go to a great school,find out what the philosophy is of the school.
What do the parents think?
What do the other members if you're an adult?
Do they do you wanna be in a class with kids?
I don't.
If I'm an adult, I don't wanna be there with aa 10 year old or eight year old.
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Are they gonna spar with me?
I don't think so.
So make sure that when you go I have separateclasses for teens.
I have separate classes for adults.
I have separate classes even between kids.
Between four and six is one class.
Between seven and and 10 is a different class.
And I have preteen classes because we allunderstand things differently.
(30:47):
%.
Do your homework before you start anything.
Exactly.
And, also, I think the culture the cultureperhaps could be equally important.
What's the culture of that studio?
What's the culture, you know, of anyenvironment that you're in in business, in
organizations?
What is that culture?
What is it like that?
(31:07):
Because you're gonna be there you know, you'rethere every single day.
If it's an organization, you're there everysingle day.
If you go for an interview, you don't like theculture, you don't like how do people interact
with one another, then likelihood, you're notgonna stay there.
So I would say the culture that you havecreated, you know, it is so beautiful.
(31:32):
And so I just wanna segue into talking aboutyour feelings about your mindset because your
feeling and your mindset, especially as an asan instructor, and, you know, you and you have
your students, you know, with all ages like youdo.
So feeling mindset, would you say, Sifu, yourfeelings and your mindset is connected?
(31:56):
Would you say your feelings are connectedthrough your thinking, or does your thinking
reinforce how you feel?
Yeah.
I think they're very connected.
They're very connected.
We're talking about, if you wanna break it indifferent ways, emotions.
Right?
Yes.
Anger, stress, fear, nerves.
(32:23):
But when we can align our intentions, we canget control of anger.
We can get control of anxiety.
We can develop the self esteem that's needed.
And whether it's in martial arts or leadershipor in business or public speaking, the more you
(32:48):
do it, the more confidence you get.
One of the things that I tell, whether youyou're gonna be a public whether I'm helping
you get on a stage or I'm helping you deliveryour your presentation to a corporation or so
forth, because I help people in all differentareas.
Right now, I'm working with a young man who whowants to present.
He's got he's gotta do a presentation for about300 people, and he is nervous, and he's he's so
(33:15):
I said, let's calm down.
Let's evaluate what you're doing, how you'redoing it, the way you're presenting.
Right.
And I also let him know that less is morebecause he was gonna show slides, and he was
gonna read word for word.
And I'm like I said, would you like it if I didthat to you?
(33:36):
Mhmm.
I go so in other words, when a presenter readsword for word and I've I've been in those
rooms, and I I want them to go and go, stop.
We know how to read.
Right.
You're telling me I I can't read what you justput up there.
I can't read it.
And you gotta read it word for word, and it's,you know, 60 words on a slide or, you know,
(33:59):
hundred or 300 words, and the words are thislittle, and you're gonna read everything, and
I'm gonna sit there.
Yeah.
Wow.
That is such a terrible way to do it.
So I I'm teaching them less is more, especiallywhen you present.
And I said a picture is worth more than athousand words.
Like the picture behind you.
(34:21):
Right?
You're crossing your arms.
You look confident.
You're smiling.
I love that image of you because you even sayask the ex expert.
And that right there, I got you.
I got you covered, so come ask me anything youwant.
And when we can help create all the emotionsabout our intentions, we can bring it all
(34:48):
together.
So wherever you are in your life, your emotionshave to come in check.
If you're angry, and this is where where Sifu'smind body method really kicks in because a lot
of people use their emotions as an excuse.
I'm an emotional eater.
(35:10):
I eat when I'm mad.
I eat when I'm I'm tired.
I eat when whatever.
Excuses.
Excuses.
What really is happening is that we're notconnecting or listening to the emotion at hand.
If I say I eat when I'm angry, it's because youdon't wanna face the anger.
(35:34):
Why are you angry?
Wow.
What's the emotion behind it?
If I eat when I'm mad, I eat when I'm tired,why are you tired?
Maybe you need to sleep better.
Maybe you need to hydrate.
Maybe you need this these different things.
Maybe you gotta check everything.
(35:55):
It's not one thing.
That's why I created seven pillars to show thatit's not one.
One is good, but together, they set up yourlivelihood, your lifestyle.
I don't believe in diets, especially the onesthat say, you're gonna lose weight right away.
(36:17):
Guess what?
What's the word lose mean?
You need to go find it again.
So you lose weight, you go look for itafterwards.
How about get rid of it?
Throw it away.
Mhmm.
Donate it.
Right?
This is one of one of my coaches in seafood'smind body method.
(36:39):
She had a conversation with everybody in it,and she was telling everybody, don't lose
weight.
Donate it.
I was like, I love that.
I'm gonna steal that from her.
She's amazing.
Right?
Nikki Gangemi, she's she's a powerhouse.
And when we can think about don't be afraid ofthe emotions that go through you Mhmm.
(37:03):
But face them head on.
If I have fear, that's an emotion.
Why am I scared?
Am I scared because I don't know what's coming?
Mhmm.
I don't know what's behind the gate or behindthe door.
You will only find out once you go through it.
Once you knock on the door, somebody opens it,and it may be nothing.
(37:29):
Anger.
Why am I angry?
And I had a client recently said, so and somade me do this.
I'm like, wait a minute.
How did they make you do
it?
Mhmm.
Well, you know, they they were saying I'vesaid, so you mean you listen to what they were
telling you to do and you follow theirinstruction?
(37:51):
Right.
Yeah.
But it's your choice to not listen to thatwhich you didn't wanna do.
And don't blame anyone else for your actions,and that was my my lesson to him.
I said, don't blame anybody else for youractions.
You're the one responsible.
Right?
If somebody says, hey.
(38:12):
You know what?
Go break that window.
And I go, okay.
Great idea.
I go break the window and I get caught.
Is he gonna get in trouble?
Was she gonna get in trouble?
No.
I will.
Oh, look at that.
I I got some weird some weird stuff happeningon my end.
I'm sorry about that.
I guess I got excited.
Right?
You did.
(38:33):
When we look.
I'm getting getting emotional here.
Right?
Why do we cry?
And and men are told they should not crybecause it's not manly.
No.
Let your emotions be what they need to be.
Sometimes we need to let that emotion come in.
(38:55):
Mhmm.
We are afraid to tell another man that I loveyou.
Women do it all the time.
Why are we men afraid of telling another man?
Because, hey, maybe I don't like men.
I love women.
But why should I why should I even tell anotherman I love him?
(39:17):
Well, because it's a platonic love.
It's not a physical type of love.
It's not because I think he's attractive.
Maybe he is, but not to me because I preferwomen.
Or if you're a woman and you prefer men, itdoesn't hurt for you to say I love you to
another person.
Think of what my client said to me about whatif we didn't have deep bodies.
(39:42):
Right.
Mhmm.
What if we were not male or female, but we werejust beings?
How would we treat one another?
So love should be about that.
Not the physical aspect of it, but theemotional aspect of it.
(40:05):
So emotions, we need to learn to hold on tothem and understand what they're doing to us
physically.
So many people are terrified of publicspeaking.
You're a professional public speaker.
You've spoken all over the world, and youprobably see different people.
(40:25):
They're so nervous, they're sweating, theirarmpits, everything that they can't even they
don't know what to do with their hands.
They put them in their pockets.
They cross their arms.
And one of the things I teach people is, like,let's get that out of the way.
Mhmm.
What are you afraid of?
Let's let's stand on a stage.
(40:48):
Start talking.
All of a sudden, the the hands are like they'rethey're doing this.
They put it and I'm let's relax.
Mhmm.
You're sweating.
Right?
Are you working out right now?
No.
You're not working out.
Why are you sweating?
Oh, I'm so nervous.
I'm like, okay.
So why don't we do something first to get ridof those nerves?
(41:12):
Maybe do some jumping jacks.
Maybe do some push ups.
Do something that's gonna make you sweat, andwhat you're gonna look for afterwards Right.
Is nice cold drink to calm you down.
Have that drink, and then you can And I telleverybody, don't be afraid to bring a bottle of
(41:33):
water or a container like this on stage withyou.
If you're nervous, instead of saying, you know,take a drink.
Yeah.
That's a pause.
So it's it's everything that we have to do tounderstand who we are.
(41:56):
We are.
Alka, you, my friend, great gift.
Thank you so much, Sifu.
Well, you're the master.
So I I lead by your example.
Sifu, you you touched on communication, andthis is what I'm just gonna segue into what you
brilliantly just said, communication.
(42:18):
Communication is both an art and a skill, andyou are teaching individuals to master the
their communication skills.
And it's interesting.
I read I I saw an interview, and they talkedabout, you know, yes, it's a skill, but it's
(42:39):
not about what you know.
And it was interesting.
It was fascinating, but it's how do you presentyourself?
And it's all about the presentation.
If you you could be you know, you could have agreat topic as to what you're talking about,
but it is all in the presentation.
Could you highlight that that point about thepresentation that really matters the most and
(43:03):
not the skill that you have?
Yeah.
It's I think everybody should ask themselves,when I walk into a room, what do I think about
myself?
Mhmm.
What does the other people think about me?
And then have that confidence.
(43:26):
Yeah.
Confidence in yourself.
You I don't ever recommend anybody get on anystage when it comes to public speaking without
practicing, without understanding breath work,because breath is important.
(43:50):
Without understanding pauses, withoutunderstanding storytelling.
Mhmm.
Every aspect of public speaking involvesstories.
When you come home and you talk to your partneror you talk to your kids and you wanna know
about their day or they wanna know about yourday, you don't just give them an itinerary.
(44:17):
I did this at twenty five.
You kinda tell them, oh, yeah.
You know, I met Sally and da da da da.
And then you get into a story, and you getexcited, and and you can tell how it made you
feel.
And when you can get into a situation, it'sabout the confidence of speaking as if you were
(44:39):
speaking to your friend, your good friend, thelove of your life, your children.
But if you lack the confidence, it's gonnashow.
If you haven't practiced that speech, it'sgonna show.
And when we think word for word, that's gonnashow too because if you miss one word, you're
(45:06):
gonna go, oh, you're gonna start stumbling andyou're gonna fall down.
So it's about a topic, an agenda.
And when we can consider walking into a room,the most important thing you have to remember
that it's not about you.
(45:28):
It's about the impact you're going to generatefor those people who came to see you, Steve.
Whether it's on a podcast like this, whetherit's on a stage, a virtual stage, whether it's
a one on one, what's the impact that you and Ican have on each other?
(45:51):
And I don't want it just to be me on you.
I want you to give me some stuff like you havetoday because it has to be a two way
communication.
When I'm on a public stage, I'm not justtalking at them.
I ask questions.
Oh, he feels this way.
Oh, I felt that way.
Can you tell me more about how you feel?
(46:12):
And it's that engagement that people go, hecares.
Yeah.
She cares.
It's engagement is truly what makes you more.
It it's it's getting out of your own head andgetting into the space that you speak.
(46:36):
Absolutely.
And when I'm preparing for a speech, I'm alwayspracticing looking at the phone.
I have my phone on the tripod, and I'm talkingto the phone like I'm talking to a friend, like
I said.
You know?
So find find techniques that really help you.
So that that's just my go to.
(46:58):
This is what I do.
I'm just talking to the phone.
Like, I'm just, you know, talking at a stage infront of, you know, hand hundreds of people.
But I think it's important to find what is yourtechnique about practice.
Absolutely.
I'm to do that.
Sifu, what drives you today?
(47:18):
What has driven you to your success?
Curious to know.
God has.
Yeah.
Because I asked him today, this morning, toguide me, to give me the right words in
everything I've done.
I've taught I taught a course earlier thismorning, then I taught several classes.
(47:41):
I I taught some leaders.
And for me, it wasn't what I needed to tellthem.
It was what they needed to hear.
And so it wasn't about me.
And sometimes, especially when I'm teaching abunch of leaders, I can walk into a room.
(48:03):
I can have an agenda, and it changes based ontheir activity, how they're acting or reacting.
Mhmm.
And I'll change full circle, and it'll be whatthey needed, not what I thought they needed.
So that's where listening and paying attentionand fully being present comes in.
(48:26):
Because if if I'm out there and, oh, yeah,well, I'm I'm just, like, this focused, I'm
only looking at one person, I'm missingeverybody else.
Yes.
If I'm trying to sell to a couple, whatever itis.
Let's say I'm gonna sell a couple a car, andthe gentleman comes in as he's a car guy and
(48:49):
all this, and I don't talk to his wife or hisgirlfriend or whoever she is.
I don't even know who she is until I askbecause this hi.
How are you?
I'm Rafael, and who is this?
And oh, pleasure to meet you.
I get to know their relationship right off thebat because that's important to me.
(49:09):
Oh, this is this is my my sister.
I I don't wanna assume that's your wife orthat's your girlfriend
Mhmm.
Or that's your cousin.
I don't wanna assume that.
Say, how are you?
How how do you guys know each other?
Now and she'll go, oh, I'm just here to, youknow, be with him.
He's the one buying the car.
(49:29):
Or he'll say, I'm just here to help her.
She's buying the car.
I don't dismiss one from the other.
I treat them equally.
Mhmm.
Because she may be buying the car, but he'sgonna tell her, don't buy that car.
Or she's gonna tell him, oh, I don't know.
(49:50):
That's expensive.
Mhmm.
Meanwhile, she doesn't know that he came to buythat expensive car.
Right.
She just found out that, yeah, you know, shewould never buy that car for herself.
Mhmm.
But he's willing to spend $50,000 more than shewould ever spend, but she doesn't know that.
(50:12):
So in a way, I have to educate her in theprocess and say, wow.
You know?
Let me ask you.
When was the last time you made such a bigpurchase?
Right.
Yeah.
So all of a sudden, he'll tell me, oh, youknow, I bought a car similar to this one.
All of a sudden, in her head, she goes, oh, Iget it.
(50:34):
Yeah.
But it's it's getting to know your audience,whether it's an audience of one or audience of
thousands.
So a lot of times before an event, I will go ifif if I'm speaking at an event, I'll talk to
the people.
I'll even talk to the people who worked at theevent.
(50:54):
People like, oh, you know, that guy's justworking.
I go, great.
I wanna go talk to him or her.
Right?
Because I'll say, hey.
How are doing?
How long have you been working for thiscompany?
How's it going?
Right.
What do you think about it?
You know, what's your biggest takeaway?
So I will get into that topic because they'llgive me information I would never have gotten
(51:15):
from the person hosting.
That is so true.
You know, and I was someone also once told methat, you know, it doesn't matter what rooms
you wanna get into.
You you have to know it's not to get to knowthe speakers, but it's to get to know the
people who work there.
Right?
And if you wanna be in those rooms, you know,as an example, Tony Robbins.
(51:39):
But if you wanna be in those rooms, you got toknow the people who actually work there, who
can give you that information so that you canjust give that bottle of water.
And then that's your goal too.
That's, you know, what makes you so that youbecome familiar what's happening in those kind
of rooms.
(51:59):
Would you agree that that that's what peopleneed to do if you wanna get into bigger rooms?
You wanna get into know the speakers at thoseevents.
Let me tell you what happened at two recentevents I went to.
I was not a speaker.
I went to support the people there.
And I'm sitting, and people kept saying to me,when are you speaking?
(52:20):
I I wanna take notes.
I'm like, well, I'm not speaking.
I said, I don't think they know I'm a speaker.
Right.
Oh my gosh.
You would be amazing.
Said, oh, thank you.
But it happened at two different events, and itwasn't just one person.
It was a bunch of people who said to me, whenare you speaking?
I'm like, I'm speaking to you now.
(52:42):
So I didn't take away, like, oh, I'm only goodenough if I'm on stage.
Yeah.
Don't mistake in our conversation for a badone.
Right.
Just because I didn't get on that stage today,that doesn't mean that we can't connect.
We can't have a great time.
At the last event that I went to, all thespeakers before I left gave me huge hugs.
(53:09):
That's amazing.
I was there supporting them.
Thanks.
And one of them said, I can't believe you cameto this event.
And I actually I drove, like, nine miles.
Not nine miles.
Nine hours.
Actually, it was in Canada.
And I wasn't speaking there, and and one ofthem said, I am so impressed that you came
(53:35):
here.
I said, I'm impressed that you're you'respeaking today.
Thank you for speaking.
So I didn't wanna take anything away from them.
Right?
But I also didn't wanna say, hey.
I'm better than you or this.
No.
It's not about that.
It's about supporting each other.
So if I know that you're at an event and I cancome and support you, let me know.
(53:58):
I would love to come.
That is so beautiful, and I love that.
And I I wanna segue to your principles.
I know the success that you've had with themultiple businesses that you have, you know,
the speaking prowess, you have your martialarts school.
(54:18):
And I wanna know as to the principles that havetaught you way back when and the principles
that have applied to this day to your success.
Can you share with us how those principlesshaped you in your journey today of leading
other people?
(54:40):
Consistency is one.
I know a lot of people can set their clocks byme.
Mhmm.
Second, I believe is not only saying you'regonna do something, but actually do it and do
it better than you said you were gonna do it.
And that is what has made people rely on me,trust in me.
(55:02):
So you build trust by continually showing upbetter than they expected you to do that.
Doing more for my clients because guess what?
They're gonna refer someone.
Yeah.
Because of the way I treated them.
I treated them with white glove service.
(55:22):
I treat them and give them more than they everexpected.
And it's not somebody said to me recently, youknow, this person wants more than you.
Actually, recently stole something.
And they said, oh, we can go back to the video.
(55:43):
I said, no.
I don't need to go back to the video.
Well, you know, aren't you upset?
I said, no.
I said, obviously, they needed it more than wedid.
I'm okay with that.
I said, if that's the kind of person they are,I'm not gonna change them.
It's not up to me.
(56:05):
And they still don't understand because mostpeople would be angry somebody stole from you
or whatever.
Yeah.
I don't know who the person was.
Mhmm.
And they're like, well, you shouldn't put thatthere like that.
I said, I gotta believe and trust in peoplethat the best of them will come forward.
(56:29):
And I'm okay.
If they stole, they obviously need it more thanI do, and I'm okay with it.
And sometimes that's a hard pill pill for somepeople to be, and people will get angry.
How dare you?
Yeah.
But guess what?
(56:49):
Forgiveness is one of the things I learned veryearly on.
When I forgive, I don't harp on the negatives.
I I focus on the positive.
What if I forgive you and you became a betterperson for me?
(57:13):
That doesn't mean I may I I if I forgive youbecause you did something really bad to me, I'm
not gonna be dumb enough to continue being inthat presence.
Maybe we have to separate.
But I forgive you.
I don't think about it.
I don't I don't pull you up or bring it back toyour face.
So I don't do that.
I'm not that kind of person, and that's why Godhas guided me to be the best version of me I
(57:40):
can be.
Mhmm.
And I have to believe that we all have goodnessin us.
Even somebody who's in jail right now who mayhave done the wrong thing, at one point, the
most craziest criminal in the world, they werea baby and had this cute little smile and this
(58:00):
little laugh.
Mhmm.
I gotta think that we're all capable of beauty,of intelligence to know what's wrong or right
and do the right thing.
Some people choose not to, and this is why welive in this crazy world.
(58:21):
Well, like, you you had stated that in thebeginning.
You know, we all have choices, and it all comesdown to our perspectives.
Do we you know, do what do what do we wannasee?
How do we wanna see an individual's, you know,good or bad?
So it comes down to our perspectives.
Sifu, this has been such a phenomenal, powerfulconversation.
(58:43):
I am so glad that you're here.
I'm so glad that we could have thisconversation.
Your final question, can you share with us yourthree principles, your three lessons that have
taught you to be the amazing person you aretoday, what are the three life lessons that our
(59:03):
audience can take away?
Winners never quit.
That's first and foremost.
If I would have quit when I had polio and feltbad for myself, I wouldn't have fought to walk
again, eventually run, be one of the fastestkids on my block, and be able to do full splits
(59:32):
today and kick over my head and all these crazythings.
So quitting is not an option.
So winners never quit.
Second, reliability.
Be reliable.
If you say you're gonna do something, do it.
And if you can do it better than you expected,even for yourself, surprise yourself.
(59:56):
Be say, wow.
I did a better job than I even thought I coulddo.
Do that.
And third, it's not about the money.
It's about the impact.
It's how I can leave this world a better place,how I can help somebody become better than they
(01:00:16):
ever thought they could be.
So many people are walking around out therethinking I'm no good.
I'm not worthy.
I'm not this.
Cut that out, people.
You're God's gift.
Share your talents.
Learn your talents.
You may not be good yet, but you keep going.
(01:00:40):
You're gonna become great.
Those are the
Absolutely.
And that is so powerful, Sifu.
Thank you so much for sharing such greatnuggets right there.
Where can people find you, and how can wesupport you best?
Oh, I appreciate that.
(01:01:00):
I'm all over social media.
Look up Sifu Rafael, s I f u, Rafael, r a f a el, and on social media.
And believe it or not, if you put a.com at theend of that, that's my website.
So it's simple and easy to find.
Okay.
Amazing.
And you mentioned your program in thebeginning.
(01:01:21):
So we will put can you mention your programagain?
So we'll put that in the show notes.
I appreciate that.
It's called SIFU's mind body method, and it'ssimple enough if you go to my website
backslashsmbm.
So you wanna put www.SifuRafael.combackslashsmbAnd it's it's a it's an incredible program, and
(01:01:47):
the reason I created it is because so many ofmy clients have benefited from it.
But I wanted to bring it to the masses.
And because so many people see what I've beendoing, I said, you know, I gotta share it.
That's why.
Well, it's it's amazing, and I'm so glad youdid.
I'm so glad it's helping, and it's gonna helpso many people.
(01:02:08):
Well, Sifu, first of all, I wanna acknowledgeyou.
Thank you so much for coming on.
This has been such a an amazing and powerfulconversation, and we wanna thank you, the
audience, for tuning in to the show.
Thank you so much for tuning in week in andweek out to listen, learn, and grow.
We have brought Sifu Rafael to the show today,and we will continue to bring on amazing
(01:02:31):
entrepreneurs to the show to give you value.
And remember, as Sifu has said, do not quit.
Doesn't matter what gold you have, goals anddreams that you have today, it does not matter
if you do not accomplish them, but just do notquit.
And it's about being integral.
(01:02:51):
It's about being truth to yourself.
It's about being authentic.
And when you can say what you do and you youknow, people say to you, oh, you know, what are
you doing?
And if you can keep to your worth, that is mostimportant.
So that's what Sifu has said, to be integraland do not quit.
(01:03:14):
So we do not want you to quit on your goals anddreams.
But thank you so much to each and every one ofyou for tuning into this to the show, and stay
tuned for the next episode of ask the experts.
Bye for now.
Thank you so much, Sifu.
That was amazing.
Thank you.
I'm gonna
Everyone, welcome back to another episode ofAsk the Experts podcast.
We are grateful to each and every one of youwho tune in week in and week out to listen,
learn, and grow.
Today's show is gonna be phenomenal.
I have an amazing guest today, Sifu Rafael,who's gonna be sharing insights of about his
(00:27):
journey, how he has helped people, individualsto gain clarity through communication,
leadership.
So we're gonna dive deep in into Sifu Raphael'sjourney.
Sifu Raphael is a master instructorentrepreneur, and he is the founder of Speaking
Prowess where he helps individuals throughcommunication and leadership to unlock their
(00:55):
full potential.
With over fifty years of experience, SikoRafael has impacted individuals through his
seven global live shows whereby he'stransformed and risen people to become stronger
physically, mentally, and emotionally.
(01:16):
Now Sifu Raphael, his mission is simple yetpowerful.
Sifu Rafael is on a mission.
He's on a quest to help people to gain clarityand to gain clarity in their voice, but also to
help them to transform their lives inside andout.
(01:40):
Welcome everybody to ask the experts podcast,Sifu Raphael.
Wow.
What a pleasure.
Where do I send the check?
That was such a good introduction.
You can send it after the show.
There you go.
There you go.
I appreciate you.
And you did mention that I have seven shows,and I'm so fortunate that you were on some as
(02:01):
well.
Absolutely.
Probably coming on some more.
So I am blessed to know you, my friend.
Absolutely.
Likewise.
You know, I returned back the favor.
I've been on your shows, which is why I wantedto return that favor to you, Sisu, Rafael.
You know, you are extraordinary.
First of all, I just wanna start off withacknowledging you because you are such an
(02:25):
extraordinary human being that whatever youhave done, the businesses that you have, you
know, cultivated, you've impacted so manypeople through so many lives that you have
changed.
It is incredible.
And, absolutely, I was on your show.
I was on the speaking prowess.
(02:46):
I can't remember countless how many other showsI was on, but you are such an amazing person to
to know.
So I'm grateful to you, Sifu.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
And and, you know, the feeling is mutualbecause you actually we got to know you, during
that show, and we we we became a little bitcloser.
(03:08):
And every time we have a conversation, I thinkit just deepens the connection, and I believe
that connections are powerful.
And and you talked about me impacting so manypeople.
And to be honest with you, it's because of theimpact that was generated for me.
When I was young, I had polio as a kid.
(03:30):
I lost the ability to walk, and it was it wasthrough God that he guided me.
And, basically, I I kinda communicate with himevery day.
He's he's, he's holding my hand everywhere Igo, and I always ask him how can I be better
(03:51):
because he's given me so many gifts that Ican't I can't hoard those gifts?
I gotta give them back.
So I ask him for the grace that I can pleaseallow me to share my my gifts that he's given
me with my brothers and sisters, and that'swhat I live with every day.
How can I help?
(04:11):
That is my mission.
That is such a powerful mission.
And, you know, absolutely.
I do agree with you.
You know?
When you have God by your side, you know, thehigher power creator, whatever, you know, you
wish to call it, but as long as we have godwith us, and it is so beautiful how you
(04:31):
communicate with the higher power to give youthe higher power so that you can lead the
mission that you wanna lead.
So, you know, that is so beautiful, and Ireally want to just acknowledge you, first of
all, on that.
So, Sifu, can you share with us your backstory?
What inspired you to, you know, have thebusinesses that you have today, the success
(04:57):
that you have?
What inspired you?
Can you share with us so that we can get toknow you a bit more?
Sure.
So like I said earlier, I had polio, and here'sthe crazy thing.
Nobody told me what I was going through.
The doctors didn't tell me.
My family didn't tell me.
(05:18):
And so I started communicating with God.
Help me figure a way.
Let me be strong.
So that's when I learned that I couldn't quit.
Quitting is not an option for me.
Don't get me wrong.
We sometimes have to quit certain things inlife to move ahead.
So I have quit certain jobs that were notelevating me when I was working in in corporate
(05:43):
and because they didn't see the gifts that Iwas sharing.
And I'm like, you guys don't see what I have,and it's okay.
And I'm I'm here, and I'm here, and I'm giving.
I'm giving.
But they didn't accept them.
So I said, you know, I gotta go somewhere else.
My gifts are gonna be accepted.
And so that's how I moved up the corporateladder.
But I've realized that it's not about money forme.
(06:06):
It's about helping.
So everywhere, when I show up, I'm not showingup because don't get me wrong.
I love going to these incredible rooms wherethere's incredible people, and I don't wanna be
the smartest person in the room because thenI'm in the wrong room.
Right?
For me, it's always about if I show up in aroom and and I happen to be one of the smart
(06:30):
people in it, I don't wanna leave anybodybehind.
So I wanna make sure that everybody in the roomelevates.
So that's what has taught me that understandingthat quitting is not an option.
I've taken that with me everywhere I go.
When I take on a new venture, a new business, anew opportunity, I I take it with full gusto.
(06:55):
I do not allow it to scare me because fearparalyzes growth.
Yes.
I'll say that again.
Fear paralyzes growth.
And it's okay to be nervous or anxious.
And I always tell my clients, it's okay ifyou're nervous.
If you have butterflies, then they go, yeah.
(07:17):
I said, good.
Make them fly in formation.
And instead of being anxious or nervous, turnit to excitement.
I'm excited about what's gonna happen next.
I may not know this, but I love the word yet.
Yeah.
That's the biggest word that I love teachingpeople because I don't know everything, and I
(07:42):
will never know everything.
But if I wanna learn a certain subject, I gottaget into it.
I gotta dive in.
I may not be an expert today, but give me timebecause I will go deep.
Well, as they say, Sifu, time is of theessence.
(08:04):
And as long as you don't quit, as long as wedon't quit and it's all about the mindset.
Would you say it's the mindset that reallykeeps you stagnant as your mindset that really
helps you to to get ahead in life?
And you talked about fear.
What is fear?
Well, as we know, fear is a false evidence ofbeing real.
(08:27):
So it's it's just in your imagination.
Right?
It's just in your imagination that the the fearof public speaking, of of communication as you
are the expert of communication.
So fear as but you were absolutely a % right.
As long as we don't give up on that mission, onthat quest, it is so important to do that.
(08:50):
So, Sifu, I'm I'm so glad you're here becauseas master of the martial arts, you're a
fantastic instructor, what what discipline doyou teach, first of all?
I teach kung fu.
Kung I I teach two styles, and I also teachinternal, which is tai chi.
(09:10):
I also teach into, internal, which is hei gong,nei gong.
Uh-huh.
And the style of kung fu I teach incorporatesevery aspect of fighting, if you will, from
stand up to ground fighting to close quarterfighting to throwing, so weaponry also.
So we we have to use all of the skills becauseyou never know what what you're gonna face.
(09:37):
Right?
That is so true.
We don't.
But, you know, martial arts is such a form ofyou know, it is discipline.
And I just wanna touch upon you know, I'm soglad that you're here to to share with our
audience.
Because as a martial artist, you it's all aboutthe mind body connection.
(09:59):
And I feel most people in this modern world,they are lacking the discipline, and they are
lacking the connection.
And I know it's an improvement.
It's a process that is a learning, theteachings that we have to go through to to
cultivate the discipline, to cultivate themotivation.
(10:22):
So I just wanna, you know, touch upon thisquestion.
So, you know, leading on from the feelings andthe mindset, what would you say are the
discipline?
What what would you say are the requirementsthat people need to cultivate in order to
really extend or excel in their lives today inthis modern world that we live in?
(10:46):
That that's a great powerful question.
I just wanna let everybody know that, in themartial arts world, we say discipline, we say
focus, we say self esteem.
But I've met so many martial artist instructorswho don't live that lifestyle.
(11:09):
They live when they have pictures on theirwalls when they were 18, 20, and they're in
great shape.
And then you look at them now, and they'resmoking.
They're heavy.
They could barely move, but they're notembodying what they teach.
And so I think discipline has to be embodiedmentally and physically.
(11:33):
It can't just be like, oh, yes.
I am disciplined, but I'm gonna go, you know,and eat unhealthy.
Right.
I believe that discipline is a state of mind.
You have to negotiate every day because we havechoices.
We drive down the block and look, fast foodhere, fast food there.
(11:56):
Oh, I smell Dunkin' Donuts, I smell this, or Ismell that, or look what that person is eating,
and oh, I want some of that.
But you have to make the disciplined decisionand the question that I always ask my food,
what are you gonna do to me if I eat you?
(12:16):
Right?
How are you gonna take care of this gift thatgod gave me?
Mhmm.
Because this is a gift.
I don't take it for granted.
The reason I never take it for granted isbecause I reclaim my ability to walk.
Yes.
This is why I work out every single day.
(12:38):
So when we think of discipline, when we thinkof even the confidence to say no to something
Mhmm.
I think the real vision that we need to have,if today is my last day on this earth, how did
(12:59):
I live my life?
That is beautiful.
Wow.
Mhmm.
I don't know when I'm gonna go.
But on that day, if it is my last day, I wannalook back.
By the way, Alka, you're invited to myhundredth birthday party because I'm having it.
We're gonna dance.
(13:20):
We're gonna have fun.
We're gonna have all these different things.
All these other people are gonna be there.
But if I'm not thinking of having thathundredth birthday party, I will not do the
things that are gonna get me there.
Right.
My great great grandfather will be he lived tobe 13.
Wow.
Gonna kick his butt.
I know.
(13:40):
I know.
I'm gonna kick his butt, but here's the thing.
The reason he I one of the reasons I know isbecause he did not eat processed foods like
there is
in the world.
Yes.
He ate off the land.
So he didn't think eat things out of a bag or aa box or a can.
(14:03):
Mhmm.
He ate off the land.
And so the more that we can reimagine our liveseating what was meant for us to eat, the
healthier we'll live.
That's why I also created a program calledseafood's mind body method where we teach the
(14:24):
seven pillars of health.
Amazing.
That is beautiful.
But, Sifa, that is so true.
Absolutely.
Back in the days, you know, our parents, ourgrandparents, they lived a healthier land.
Why?
Because everything was fresh, and everythingwas from the land.
And now people you know, we have a lot ofprocessed food that is kinda damaging damaging
(14:50):
our body.
It's damaging our minds as a result of what weput in our body is in a direct reflection, you
know, hindering your mind.
So it is so important.
So, Sifu, share with us what are the hindrancesthat is really affecting people today, why they
(15:10):
are lacking or why they're lacking in thedirection if they wanna go to maybe start a
business, or why are they lacking to to improveon their body, to have that physique that
they've always wanted?
What are the hindrances that are preventingpeople to take that action to to to take that
(15:31):
step pretty much?
What would that be?
Yeah.
I'm gonna share something that was prettyprofound, that was told to me by one of my
clients recently.
And he said, what if we didn't have this body?
(15:53):
Would we be male or female?
Wow.
I was I was deep.
And I said, you know, if we can get out of ourhead and into our body, how should we live our
life?
We should live our life to sustain this, if youwill, carcass, or I I prefer to call it a gift
(16:16):
from God, and to sustain it in a way that I amkeeping my mind sharp.
I was up early this morning.
I worked out.
I did my meditation, my journaling, my praying,and then I did studying.
And I I some of my members, I go, how wasschool?
(16:39):
They're like, I don't go to school.
I said, well, maybe you should start.
Because every day I am in this I am studyingbecause life is my school.
I learn every day.
I improve.
I know more than I did yesterday.
I know way more than I did ten years ago.
(17:00):
And every day, I want to continue to grow bothphysically and mentally.
I don't wanna grow physically.
I mean, outward or upward.
I wanna grow internally so our body doesregenerate certain parts, regenerate every
couple of hours.
Our eyes, our eyeballs regenerate every fortyeight hours.
(17:24):
So there's all these studies that tell us thatwe do regenerate.
But if we're not fueling it correctly Uh-huh.
What are we doing?
Are we hurting the process, the natural godgiven process that our body goes through and
when we ingest all these things that are gonnahurt that process, who are we to blame?
(17:54):
Right.
Exactly.
Every day.
Every day.
This is why I created the the seven pillars.
And can I share those with you?
Absolutely.
Yes.
Go ahead.
Yes.
So one, and and we talked about it, is ismindset.
Right?
Then we have movement.
Then we have nutrition.
(18:17):
We have hydration.
We have journaling.
We have fasting.
And currently, right now, I last meal I ate wasyesterday at 7PM.
Right now, it's 1PM.
I'm sorry.
It's 2PM.
So I haven't eaten.
All I've done is drank.
(18:38):
Right now, I am sharp.
I am alert.
I am powered, energized, and it's the food thatI ate yesterday that is doing that.
My body is breaking it down and using it theright way.
But prior to that, I had been on a twenty sevenhour fast.
I'm not gonna eat today till probably twentytwo hours.
(19:01):
Right?
Wow.
But the food I eat has a purpose.
I'm gonna fuel this crazy machine that God gaveme, this beautiful machine.
And and the the final step to my process,Sifu's mind body method is the seventh one is
(19:24):
spiritual.
So whatever you believe, whether you believe inGod or the universe, whatever it is, you need
that.
You need to believe in something higher thanyou.
Otherwise, how can we become better if we don'tbelieve in something higher than us?
Absolutely.
(19:44):
That is such a and and the higher power, god orthe creator wants us to become better because
that that's what he wants.
And it will be such a shame if we don't fallfor that.
So, Sifu, I just wanna touch upon what youmentioned.
If you're not growing and as individuals, weare growing or we want to grow.
(20:09):
We should grow every single day.
We should improve on our lives.
And the the measure that I do anyhow where whowas I yesterday?
What did I do yesterday?
And if we can start to improve that 1% everyday, would you say this is these are the steps
that you have taken for your success to havethe measure as to where are you today?
(20:35):
Where do you need to go?
And what are those steps that we need to do?
Could you share with us the principles that youthat you have lived by, and what do you do to
get to have the success that you are having?
I appreciate that question.
Thank you so much.
Alka, I gotta tell you deep deep thought outquestions, so I appreciate that very much.
(20:59):
Think about purpose.
What's my purpose here?
I know my purpose.
My purpose is to help as many people as Ipossibly can.
And if I start that way every single day Yes.
Then I have to take care of that here, my mind.
(21:24):
I start every day with prayer, and then I thankgod and allow me thank you for the gifts.
Please allow me to share them with my brothersand sisters.
So when we start thinking about preparing ourday, we should prepare our day.
If you allow someone else to do it, you're notgonna be happy.
(21:47):
Mhmm.
We already have everything pulling at us.
If you can imagine social media, if it had athread, there'd be a thousand, maybe 10,000
threads pulling on me.
And then families over here pulling, and thensomebody else is here pulling friends,
relationships, businesses.
(22:10):
You so all of a sudden, you're you're thispuppet with all these strings pulling at you.
We need to cut the strings.
We need to do that.
The first thing we get up, we wake up, and weshield ourselves from all of that and not allow
anything or anyone to control our destiny.
(22:34):
Yes.
If there is destiny, we should be the driver.
You can call Destiny your car if you like.
Just make it a really cool looking car.
Make it whatever color you like.
I like it pink.
There you go.
Pink, hot, beautiful, powerful car.
(22:55):
But every day, we do have that choice.
We have a choice to wake up in a way that it'snot about us.
It's about not us when I say me, but us, youand me.
(23:20):
Because I've I'm very selfish, by the way.
But I take my selfish time when I'm alone.
And then when I'm with other people, I am nolonger selfish.
It's about serving.
How can I help?
What can I do?
Put me to work.
Put me to do something.
And people are like, oh, no.
You're you're my guest.
(23:41):
I'm like, yeah.
But I don't wanna sit here and and and, youknow, do this with my fingers.
I wanna use my hands.
They're a gift.
Help me.
Can can I wash the dishes, or can I do this?
Can I move this?
Right.
Can I cut some onions?
Whatever you need me to do, if if I come over,I'm there.
(24:01):
If I go to an event, you need more chairs here,you need me to hand out things, whatever.
Yeah.
But we're paying you to do this.
I'm like, they're paying me to be a speaker,but that doesn't mean I stop serving just
because I'm speaking.
Right.
Uh-huh.
If I can use me as a human being, as a machine,use me.
(24:24):
So I I over deliver when somebody hires me tobe a speaker at the event because I'm not just
a speaker.
And, that's what makes
I'm a gift.
Like, you are a gift.
Oh, appreciate.
Thank you.
And, Sifu, that's what makes you such aremarkable individual.
(24:47):
That's what makes you who you are today.
You know, this such an amazing person.
You have such an amazing heart, such an amazingsoul that you never stop.
You never stop serving even though you are youknow, you're a global speaker and you are you
you're speaking at events, but yet you stillwanna serve.
(25:09):
And that says so much about you.
And I'm just, you know, so honored to haveknown you, but the individual who you are is
such an amazing human being.
And your heart is just so pure that you justyou know, you you can't help it.
You just wanna serve, and that is so beautiful.
(25:31):
I love that.
Thank you.
Yeah.
And so, Sifa, so I wanna touch upon what wejust spoke about, you know, pertaining to your
martial arts background.
We talked about the discipline, what isrequired, you know, is that mind body
connection.
And our viewers who perhaps they wanna get intomartial arts, what is that one discipline that
(25:55):
perhaps things do with tai chi, kung fu?
There were just so many jujitsu.
What share with us what are the steps perhapsthat anyone who's listening who wants to get
into the martial arts, what's that first stepthat they need to do?
Do they need to have the experience, or whatwhat happens?
(26:17):
How did you get started?
I stepped into it by luck.
But for anybody who's listening, who is anadult or even who has kids, I always encourage
people to interview.
Interview if you're gonna go to an instructorand say, how are your classes?
(26:37):
Can I watch a class?
Can I participate in a class?
Even before you sign up.
Showing up is number one.
Mhmm.
You can't do anything unless you're present.
So you need to be in the presence of training.
You need to go to a martial arts school.
(27:00):
But not every and I I said before, not everymartial arts school is created the same.
Some are there just because they want yourmoney.
Mhmm.
I'm not about that.
When I first started, I was like, yeah.
I wanna build in.
I have some but then I said, wait a minute.
What am I doing?
That's I'm not serving anybody.
I'm just taking their money.
I always taught great classes.
(27:21):
Don't get me wrong.
Right.
I always believed in what I taught, but then Ichanged it.
And I said, you know, not everybody who'scoming to me even wants to be here.
Right.
They think they wanna be.
Uh-huh.
I only want the ones that really wanna be herethat wanna have the experience that I can give
(27:41):
them.
So I do a one free class, no strings attached,and then I'm probably crazy.
I let them try one month with no commitmentwhatsoever.
Unlimited classes come as often as you like,and I even include a free uniform, and it's
(28:02):
it's ridiculously low price.
It's it's only a hundred and $29 for the month.
And people are like, are you crazy?
The uniform costs $60.
And, you know, the the the and I'm like, youknow, it's not about that.
Also, I'm not a childcare service.
So if somebody brings their kids, the parentshave to remain.
(28:25):
They have to be there.
They have to watch.
They have to participate.
And I don't put the parents behind a window.
The parents are in the same room with the kids.
Alright.
I have chairs for the parents.
And then I tell the kids, go work with yourparents because now we're teaching the parents
how to do the moves because when they go backhome, now they're doing they're helping their
(28:48):
kids.
They have someone to practice with.
What winds up happening is the parents go,excuse me.
Yes.
Do you have classes for me?
Absolutely.
So now I'm getting I'm capturing theirattention because now they wanna do what their
kids are doing.
And now what happens is there's this deeperconnection than if the parents were on a soccer
(29:14):
field.
Right?
So many parents on a baseball field, anything.
The parents are behind the scenery.
Right.
You're not involved.
Yes.
A parent can throw a catch with their kid, butthey're not playing the game.
With us, the parents are there.
When they I have little kids sparring.
I start them at five years old, four years old.
(29:36):
They may be sparring, and the parents arethere.
They I tell them tell them how to block.
Tell them to kick.
Tell them to do all these things so the parentsare involved in their child's growth.
And then when I give them a stripe, they geteight stripes, then they turn around and they
go, what stripe was that?
They write it in their book.
So it's about engaging every member Mhmm.
(30:00):
Into what they're doing.
So if you're looking to go to a great school,find out what the philosophy is of the school.
What do the parents think?
What do the other members if you're an adult?
Do they do you wanna be in a class with kids?
I don't.
If I'm an adult, I don't wanna be there with aa 10 year old or eight year old.
(30:22):
Are they gonna spar with me?
I don't think so.
So make sure that when you go I have separateclasses for teens.
I have separate classes for adults.
I have separate classes even between kids.
Between four and six is one class.
Between seven and and 10 is a different class.
And I have preteen classes because we allunderstand things differently.
(30:47):
%.
Do your homework before you start anything.
Exactly.
And, also, I think the culture the cultureperhaps could be equally important.
What's the culture of that studio?
What's the culture, you know, of anyenvironment that you're in in business, in
organizations?
What is that culture?
What is it like that?
(31:07):
Because you're gonna be there you know, you'rethere every single day.
If it's an organization, you're there everysingle day.
If you go for an interview, you don't like theculture, you don't like how do people interact
with one another, then likelihood, you're notgonna stay there.
So I would say the culture that you havecreated, you know, it is so beautiful.
(31:32):
And so I just wanna segue into talking aboutyour feelings about your mindset because your
feeling and your mindset, especially as an asan instructor, and, you know, you and you have
your students, you know, with all ages like youdo.
So feeling mindset, would you say, Sifu, yourfeelings and your mindset is connected?
(31:56):
Would you say your feelings are connectedthrough your thinking, or does your thinking
reinforce how you feel?
Yeah.
I think they're very connected.
They're very connected.
We're talking about, if you wanna break it indifferent ways, emotions.
Right?
Yes.
Anger, stress, fear, nerves.
(32:23):
But when we can align our intentions, we canget control of anger.
We can get control of anxiety.
We can develop the self esteem that's needed.
And whether it's in martial arts or leadershipor in business or public speaking, the more you
(32:48):
do it, the more confidence you get.
One of the things that I tell, whether youyou're gonna be a public whether I'm helping
you get on a stage or I'm helping you deliveryour your presentation to a corporation or so
forth, because I help people in all differentareas.
Right now, I'm working with a young man who whowants to present.
He's got he's gotta do a presentation for about300 people, and he is nervous, and he's he's so
(33:15):
I said, let's calm down.
Let's evaluate what you're doing, how you'redoing it, the way you're presenting.
Right.
And I also let him know that less is morebecause he was gonna show slides, and he was
gonna read word for word.
And I'm like I said, would you like it if I didthat to you?
(33:36):
Mhmm.
I go so in other words, when a presenter readsword for word and I've I've been in those
rooms, and I I want them to go and go, stop.
We know how to read.
Right.
You're telling me I I can't read what you justput up there.
I can't read it.
And you gotta read it word for word, and it's,you know, 60 words on a slide or, you know,
(33:59):
hundred or 300 words, and the words are thislittle, and you're gonna read everything, and
I'm gonna sit there.
Yeah.
Wow.
That is such a terrible way to do it.
So I I'm teaching them less is more, especiallywhen you present.
And I said a picture is worth more than athousand words.
Like the picture behind you.
(34:21):
Right?
You're crossing your arms.
You look confident.
You're smiling.
I love that image of you because you even sayask the ex expert.
And that right there, I got you.
I got you covered, so come ask me anything youwant.
And when we can help create all the emotionsabout our intentions, we can bring it all
(34:48):
together.
So wherever you are in your life, your emotionshave to come in check.
If you're angry, and this is where where Sifu'smind body method really kicks in because a lot
of people use their emotions as an excuse.
I'm an emotional eater.
(35:10):
I eat when I'm mad.
I eat when I'm I'm tired.
I eat when whatever.
Excuses.
Excuses.
What really is happening is that we're notconnecting or listening to the emotion at hand.
If I say I eat when I'm angry, it's because youdon't wanna face the anger.
(35:34):
Why are you angry?
Wow.
What's the emotion behind it?
If I eat when I'm mad, I eat when I'm tired,why are you tired?
Maybe you need to sleep better.
Maybe you need to hydrate.
Maybe you need this these different things.
Maybe you gotta check everything.
(35:55):
It's not one thing.
That's why I created seven pillars to show thatit's not one.
One is good, but together, they set up yourlivelihood, your lifestyle.
I don't believe in diets, especially the onesthat say, you're gonna lose weight right away.
(36:17):
Guess what?
What's the word lose mean?
You need to go find it again.
So you lose weight, you go look for itafterwards.
How about get rid of it?
Throw it away.
Mhmm.
Donate it.
Right?
This is one of one of my coaches in seafood'smind body method.
(36:39):
She had a conversation with everybody in it,and she was telling everybody, don't lose
weight.
Donate it.
I was like, I love that.
I'm gonna steal that from her.
She's amazing.
Right?
Nikki Gangemi, she's she's a powerhouse.
And when we can think about don't be afraid ofthe emotions that go through you Mhmm.
(37:03):
But face them head on.
If I have fear, that's an emotion.
Why am I scared?
Am I scared because I don't know what's coming?
Mhmm.
I don't know what's behind the gate or behindthe door.
You will only find out once you go through it.
Once you knock on the door, somebody opens it,and it may be nothing.
(37:29):
Anger.
Why am I angry?
And I had a client recently said, so and somade me do this.
I'm like, wait a minute.
How did they make you do
it?
Mhmm.
Well, you know, they they were saying I'vesaid, so you mean you listen to what they were
telling you to do and you follow theirinstruction?
(37:51):
Right.
Yeah.
But it's your choice to not listen to thatwhich you didn't wanna do.
And don't blame anyone else for your actions,and that was my my lesson to him.
I said, don't blame anybody else for youractions.
You're the one responsible.
Right?
If somebody says, hey.
(38:12):
You know what?
Go break that window.
And I go, okay.
Great idea.
I go break the window and I get caught.
Is he gonna get in trouble?
Was she gonna get in trouble?
No.
I will.
Oh, look at that.
I I got some weird some weird stuff happeningon my end.
I'm sorry about that.
I guess I got excited.
Right?
You did.
(38:33):
When we look.
I'm getting getting emotional here.
Right?
Why do we cry?
And and men are told they should not crybecause it's not manly.
No.
Let your emotions be what they need to be.
Sometimes we need to let that emotion come in.
(38:55):
Mhmm.
We are afraid to tell another man that I loveyou.
Women do it all the time.
Why are we men afraid of telling another man?
Because, hey, maybe I don't like men.
I love women.
But why should I why should I even tell anotherman I love him?
(39:17):
Well, because it's a platonic love.
It's not a physical type of love.
It's not because I think he's attractive.
Maybe he is, but not to me because I preferwomen.
Or if you're a woman and you prefer men, itdoesn't hurt for you to say I love you to
another person.
Think of what my client said to me about whatif we didn't have deep bodies.
(39:42):
Right.
Mhmm.
What if we were not male or female, but we werejust beings?
How would we treat one another?
So love should be about that.
Not the physical aspect of it, but theemotional aspect of it.
(40:05):
So emotions, we need to learn to hold on tothem and understand what they're doing to us
physically.
So many people are terrified of publicspeaking.
You're a professional public speaker.
You've spoken all over the world, and youprobably see different people.
(40:25):
They're so nervous, they're sweating, theirarmpits, everything that they can't even they
don't know what to do with their hands.
They put them in their pockets.
They cross their arms.
And one of the things I teach people is, like,let's get that out of the way.
Mhmm.
What are you afraid of?
Let's let's stand on a stage.
(40:48):
Start talking.
All of a sudden, the the hands are like they'rethey're doing this.
They put it and I'm let's relax.
Mhmm.
You're sweating.
Right?
Are you working out right now?
No.
You're not working out.
Why are you sweating?
Oh, I'm so nervous.
I'm like, okay.
So why don't we do something first to get ridof those nerves?
(41:12):
Maybe do some jumping jacks.
Maybe do some push ups.
Do something that's gonna make you sweat, andwhat you're gonna look for afterwards Right.
Is nice cold drink to calm you down.
Have that drink, and then you can And I telleverybody, don't be afraid to bring a bottle of
(41:33):
water or a container like this on stage withyou.
If you're nervous, instead of saying, you know,take a drink.
Yeah.
That's a pause.
So it's it's everything that we have to do tounderstand who we are.
(41:56):
We are.
Alka, you, my friend, great gift.
Thank you so much, Sifu.
Well, you're the master.
So I I lead by your example.
Sifu, you you touched on communication, andthis is what I'm just gonna segue into what you
brilliantly just said, communication.
(42:18):
Communication is both an art and a skill, andyou are teaching individuals to master the
their communication skills.
And it's interesting.
I read I I saw an interview, and they talkedabout, you know, yes, it's a skill, but it's
(42:39):
not about what you know.
And it was interesting.
It was fascinating, but it's how do you presentyourself?
And it's all about the presentation.
If you you could be you know, you could have agreat topic as to what you're talking about,
but it is all in the presentation.
Could you highlight that that point about thepresentation that really matters the most and
(43:03):
not the skill that you have?
Yeah.
It's I think everybody should ask themselves,when I walk into a room, what do I think about
myself?
Mhmm.
What does the other people think about me?
And then have that confidence.
(43:26):
Yeah.
Confidence in yourself.
You I don't ever recommend anybody get on anystage when it comes to public speaking without
practicing, without understanding breath work,because breath is important.
(43:50):
Without understanding pauses, withoutunderstanding storytelling.
Mhmm.
Every aspect of public speaking involvesstories.
When you come home and you talk to your partneror you talk to your kids and you wanna know
about their day or they wanna know about yourday, you don't just give them an itinerary.
(44:17):
I did this at twenty five.
You kinda tell them, oh, yeah.
You know, I met Sally and da da da da.
And then you get into a story, and you getexcited, and and you can tell how it made you
feel.
And when you can get into a situation, it'sabout the confidence of speaking as if you were
(44:39):
speaking to your friend, your good friend, thelove of your life, your children.
But if you lack the confidence, it's gonnashow.
If you haven't practiced that speech, it'sgonna show.
And when we think word for word, that's gonnashow too because if you miss one word, you're
(45:06):
gonna go, oh, you're gonna start stumbling andyou're gonna fall down.
So it's about a topic, an agenda.
And when we can consider walking into a room,the most important thing you have to remember
that it's not about you.
(45:28):
It's about the impact you're going to generatefor those people who came to see you, Steve.
Whether it's on a podcast like this, whetherit's on a stage, a virtual stage, whether it's
a one on one, what's the impact that you and Ican have on each other?
(45:51):
And I don't want it just to be me on you.
I want you to give me some stuff like you havetoday because it has to be a two way
communication.
When I'm on a public stage, I'm not justtalking at them.
I ask questions.
Oh, he feels this way.
Oh, I felt that way.
Can you tell me more about how you feel?
(46:12):
And it's that engagement that people go, hecares.
Yeah.
She cares.
It's engagement is truly what makes you more.
It it's it's getting out of your own head andgetting into the space that you speak.
(46:36):
Absolutely.
And when I'm preparing for a speech, I'm alwayspracticing looking at the phone.
I have my phone on the tripod, and I'm talkingto the phone like I'm talking to a friend, like
I said.
You know?
So find find techniques that really help you.
So that that's just my go to.
(46:58):
This is what I do.
I'm just talking to the phone.
Like, I'm just, you know, talking at a stage infront of, you know, hand hundreds of people.
But I think it's important to find what is yourtechnique about practice.
Absolutely.
I'm to do that.
Sifu, what drives you today?
(47:18):
What has driven you to your success?
Curious to know.
God has.
Yeah.
Because I asked him today, this morning, toguide me, to give me the right words in
everything I've done.
I've taught I taught a course earlier thismorning, then I taught several classes.
(47:41):
I I taught some leaders.
And for me, it wasn't what I needed to tellthem.
It was what they needed to hear.
And so it wasn't about me.
And sometimes, especially when I'm teaching abunch of leaders, I can walk into a room.
(48:03):
I can have an agenda, and it changes based ontheir activity, how they're acting or reacting.
Mhmm.
And I'll change full circle, and it'll be whatthey needed, not what I thought they needed.
So that's where listening and paying attentionand fully being present comes in.
(48:26):
Because if if I'm out there and, oh, yeah,well, I'm I'm just, like, this focused, I'm
only looking at one person, I'm missingeverybody else.
Yes.
If I'm trying to sell to a couple, whatever itis.
Let's say I'm gonna sell a couple a car, andthe gentleman comes in as he's a car guy and
(48:49):
all this, and I don't talk to his wife or hisgirlfriend or whoever she is.
I don't even know who she is until I askbecause this hi.
How are you?
I'm Rafael, and who is this?
And oh, pleasure to meet you.
I get to know their relationship right off thebat because that's important to me.
(49:09):
Oh, this is this is my my sister.
I I don't wanna assume that's your wife orthat's your girlfriend
Mhmm.
Or that's your cousin.
I don't wanna assume that.
Say, how are you?
How how do you guys know each other?
Now and she'll go, oh, I'm just here to, youknow, be with him.
He's the one buying the car.
(49:29):
Or he'll say, I'm just here to help her.
She's buying the car.
I don't dismiss one from the other.
I treat them equally.
Mhmm.
Because she may be buying the car, but he'sgonna tell her, don't buy that car.
Or she's gonna tell him, oh, I don't know.
(49:50):
That's expensive.
Mhmm.
Meanwhile, she doesn't know that he came to buythat expensive car.
Right.
She just found out that, yeah, you know, shewould never buy that car for herself.
Mhmm.
But he's willing to spend $50,000 more than shewould ever spend, but she doesn't know that.
(50:12):
So in a way, I have to educate her in theprocess and say, wow.
You know?
Let me ask you.
When was the last time you made such a bigpurchase?
Right.
Yeah.
So all of a sudden, he'll tell me, oh, youknow, I bought a car similar to this one.
All of a sudden, in her head, she goes, oh, Iget it.
(50:34):
Yeah.
But it's it's getting to know your audience,whether it's an audience of one or audience of
thousands.
So a lot of times before an event, I will go ifif if I'm speaking at an event, I'll talk to
the people.
I'll even talk to the people who worked at theevent.
(50:54):
People like, oh, you know, that guy's justworking.
I go, great.
I wanna go talk to him or her.
Right?
Because I'll say, hey.
How are doing?
How long have you been working for thiscompany?
How's it going?
Right.
What do you think about it?
You know, what's your biggest takeaway?
So I will get into that topic because they'llgive me information I would never have gotten
(51:15):
from the person hosting.
That is so true.
You know, and I was someone also once told methat, you know, it doesn't matter what rooms
you wanna get into.
You you have to know it's not to get to knowthe speakers, but it's to get to know the
people who work there.
Right?
And if you wanna be in those rooms, you know,as an example, Tony Robbins.
(51:39):
But if you wanna be in those rooms, you got toknow the people who actually work there, who
can give you that information so that you canjust give that bottle of water.
And then that's your goal too.
That's, you know, what makes you so that youbecome familiar what's happening in those kind
of rooms.
(51:59):
Would you agree that that that's what peopleneed to do if you wanna get into bigger rooms?
You wanna get into know the speakers at thoseevents.
Let me tell you what happened at two recentevents I went to.
I was not a speaker.
I went to support the people there.
And I'm sitting, and people kept saying to me,when are you speaking?
(52:20):
I I wanna take notes.
I'm like, well, I'm not speaking.
I said, I don't think they know I'm a speaker.
Right.
Oh my gosh.
You would be amazing.
Said, oh, thank you.
But it happened at two different events, and itwasn't just one person.
It was a bunch of people who said to me, whenare you speaking?
I'm like, I'm speaking to you now.
(52:42):
So I didn't take away, like, oh, I'm only goodenough if I'm on stage.
Yeah.
Don't mistake in our conversation for a badone.
Right.
Just because I didn't get on that stage today,that doesn't mean that we can't connect.
We can't have a great time.
At the last event that I went to, all thespeakers before I left gave me huge hugs.
(53:09):
That's amazing.
I was there supporting them.
Thanks.
And one of them said, I can't believe you cameto this event.
And I actually I drove, like, nine miles.
Not nine miles.
Nine hours.
Actually, it was in Canada.
And I wasn't speaking there, and and one ofthem said, I am so impressed that you came
(53:35):
here.
I said, I'm impressed that you're you'respeaking today.
Thank you for speaking.
So I didn't wanna take anything away from them.
Right?
But I also didn't wanna say, hey.
I'm better than you or this.
No.
It's not about that.
It's about supporting each other.
So if I know that you're at an event and I cancome and support you, let me know.
(53:58):
I would love to come.
That is so beautiful, and I love that.
And I I wanna segue to your principles.
I know the success that you've had with themultiple businesses that you have, you know,
the speaking prowess, you have your martialarts school.
(54:18):
And I wanna know as to the principles that havetaught you way back when and the principles
that have applied to this day to your success.
Can you share with us how those principlesshaped you in your journey today of leading
other people?
(54:40):
Consistency is one.
I know a lot of people can set their clocks byme.
Mhmm.
Second, I believe is not only saying you'regonna do something, but actually do it and do
it better than you said you were gonna do it.
And that is what has made people rely on me,trust in me.
(55:02):
So you build trust by continually showing upbetter than they expected you to do that.
Doing more for my clients because guess what?
They're gonna refer someone.
Yeah.
Because of the way I treated them.
I treated them with white glove service.
(55:22):
I treat them and give them more than they everexpected.
And it's not somebody said to me recently, youknow, this person wants more than you.
Actually, recently stole something.
And they said, oh, we can go back to the video.
(55:43):
I said, no.
I don't need to go back to the video.
Well, you know, aren't you upset?
I said, no.
I said, obviously, they needed it more than wedid.
I'm okay with that.
I said, if that's the kind of person they are,I'm not gonna change them.
It's not up to me.
(56:05):
And they still don't understand because mostpeople would be angry somebody stole from you
or whatever.
Yeah.
I don't know who the person was.
Mhmm.
And they're like, well, you shouldn't put thatthere like that.
I said, I gotta believe and trust in peoplethat the best of them will come forward.
(56:29):
And I'm okay.
If they stole, they obviously need it more thanI do, and I'm okay with it.
And sometimes that's a hard pill pill for somepeople to be, and people will get angry.
How dare you?
Yeah.
But guess what?
(56:49):
Forgiveness is one of the things I learned veryearly on.
When I forgive, I don't harp on the negatives.
I I focus on the positive.
What if I forgive you and you became a betterperson for me?
(57:13):
That doesn't mean I may I I if I forgive youbecause you did something really bad to me, I'm
not gonna be dumb enough to continue being inthat presence.
Maybe we have to separate.
But I forgive you.
I don't think about it.
I don't I don't pull you up or bring it back toyour face.
So I don't do that.
I'm not that kind of person, and that's why Godhas guided me to be the best version of me I
(57:40):
can be.
Mhmm.
And I have to believe that we all have goodnessin us.
Even somebody who's in jail right now who mayhave done the wrong thing, at one point, the
most craziest criminal in the world, they werea baby and had this cute little smile and this
(58:00):
little laugh.
Mhmm.
I gotta think that we're all capable of beauty,of intelligence to know what's wrong or right
and do the right thing.
Some people choose not to, and this is why welive in this crazy world.
(58:21):
Well, like, you you had stated that in thebeginning.
You know, we all have choices, and it all comesdown to our perspectives.
Do we you know, do what do what do we wannasee?
How do we wanna see an individual's, you know,good or bad?
So it comes down to our perspectives.
Sifu, this has been such a phenomenal, powerfulconversation.
(58:43):
I am so glad that you're here.
I'm so glad that we could have thisconversation.
Your final question, can you share with us yourthree principles, your three lessons that have
taught you to be the amazing person you aretoday, what are the three life lessons that our
(59:03):
audience can take away?
Winners never quit.
That's first and foremost.
If I would have quit when I had polio and feltbad for myself, I wouldn't have fought to walk
again, eventually run, be one of the fastestkids on my block, and be able to do full splits
(59:32):
today and kick over my head and all these crazythings.
So quitting is not an option.
So winners never quit.
Second, reliability.
Be reliable.
If you say you're gonna do something, do it.
And if you can do it better than you expected,even for yourself, surprise yourself.
(59:56):
Be say, wow.
I did a better job than I even thought I coulddo.
Do that.
And third, it's not about the money.
It's about the impact.
It's how I can leave this world a better place,how I can help somebody become better than they
(01:00:16):
ever thought they could be.
So many people are walking around out therethinking I'm no good.
I'm not worthy.
I'm not this.
Cut that out, people.
You're God's gift.
Share your talents.
Learn your talents.
You may not be good yet, but you keep going.
(01:00:40):
You're gonna become great.
Those are the
Absolutely.
And that is so powerful, Sifu.
Thank you so much for sharing such greatnuggets right there.
Where can people find you, and how can wesupport you best?
Oh, I appreciate that.
(01:01:00):
I'm all over social media.
Look up Sifu Rafael, s I f u, Rafael, r a f a el, and on social media.
And believe it or not, if you put a.com at theend of that, that's my website.
So it's simple and easy to find.
Okay.
Amazing.
And you mentioned your program in thebeginning.
(01:01:21):
So we will put can you mention your programagain?
So we'll put that in the show notes.
I appreciate that.
It's called SIFU's mind body method, and it'ssimple enough if you go to my website
backslashsmbm.
So you wanna put www.SifuRafael.combackslashsmbAnd it's it's a it's an incredible program, and
(01:01:47):
the reason I created it is because so many ofmy clients have benefited from it.
But I wanted to bring it to the masses.
And because so many people see what I've beendoing, I said, you know, I gotta share it.
That's why.
Well, it's it's amazing, and I'm so glad youdid.
I'm so glad it's helping, and it's gonna helpso many people.
(01:02:08):
Well, Sifu, first of all, I wanna acknowledgeyou.
Thank you so much for coming on.
This has been such a an amazing and powerfulconversation, and we wanna thank you, the
audience, for tuning in to the show.
Thank you so much for tuning in week in andweek out to listen, learn, and grow.
We have brought Sifu Rafael to the show today,and we will continue to bring on amazing
(01:02:31):
entrepreneurs to the show to give you value.
And remember, as Sifu has said, do not quit.
Doesn't matter what gold you have, goals anddreams that you have today, it does not matter
if you do not accomplish them, but just do notquit.
And it's about being integral.
(01:02:51):
It's about being truth to yourself.
It's about being authentic.
And when you can say what you do and you youknow, people say to you, oh, you know, what are
you doing?
And if you can keep to your worth, that is mostimportant.
So that's what Sifu has said, to be integraland do not quit.
(01:03:14):
So we do not want you to quit on your goals anddreams.
But thank you so much to each and every one ofyou for tuning into this to the show, and stay
tuned for the next episode of ask the experts.
Bye for now.
Thank you so much, Sifu.
That was amazing.
Thank you.
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