Cognitive Dissonance - The Quiet Saboteur_mixdown

The Quiet Saboteur: Understanding Cognitive Dissonance

Are you living in alignment with who you say you want to be? In this powerful episode of the Building Better Humans Project podcast, host Glenn Azar tackles cognitive dissonance - that uncomfortable tension we feel when our actions contradict our values. Rather than pointing fingers at others, this "mirror episode" challenges listeners to examine their own patterns and blind spots. Glenn reveals how our brains cleverly change our stories instead of changing our behaviors, keeping us stuck in cycles of justification and excuses that prevent real growth.

Through practical examples across health, relationships, finances, career, and personal development, Glenn illuminates how cognitive dissonance quietly sabotages our progress in every area of life. This episode isn't about judgment - it's about awareness and the transformative power of aligning your actions with your values.

Timestamps and Key Takeaways:

**2:30** - Definition of cognitive dissonance: the uncomfortable tension when actions don't align with values
**4:15** - Real-life examples in health, relationships, and finances
**8:20** - How your brain protects you by changing narratives instead of behaviors
**9:45** - Five critical self-reflection questions to identify your own dissonance
**12:00** - The choice: change your story (excuses) or change your behavior (growth)
**14:30** - Simple daily practice for creating awareness and alignment
**16:45** - How adventure strips away stories and reveals truth about ourselves

Ready to break free from the cycle of excuses and justification that's keeping you stuck? This episode offers the clarity and practical steps needed to close the gap between who you say you are and how you actually behave. Listen now to discover how facing uncomfortable truths about yourself can be the catalyst for profound personal transformation and growth.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:05):
Appoche production.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
Hey, team DNESA, here, walking back to the Building Better
Humans Project podcast. This week, we're going to dive into
a couple of psychological concepts, and we're going to start
with cognitive dissonance, which is that quite saboteur. It's that
thing that makes us justify bad decisions. It's a thing
that makes us defend our behaviors instead of improving them,

(00:31):
and it's the thing that keeps us stuck repeating the
same patterns in relationships, business, health, money, everything. Cognitive dissisance dissonance,
all right, not that easy to say, apparently, but you
understand what I'm saying. But we're going to talk about
this not in the academic sense. We're talking about how
it shows up in your life right now and how

(00:52):
it quietly sabotages your ability to become the person that
you want to be. Now, this one is what I
would call a mirror episode. So it's not an episode
about other people. It's about us, our patlonde, our blind spots.
So a mirror episode is where we can think about
outside people and what they're doing. But this one is
where we're having a long, hard look at ourself. So

(01:14):
and the reason I bring that up is a lot
of people want to talk about what other people are doing.
They want to talk about cognitive dissonance from someone else's perspective,
or they want to talk about someone being narcissistic and signed.
But I want us to look at ourselves on this one,
So think about yourself now. As always, this episode is
brought to you by Adventure Professionals. So if you're looking
for a reset, a chance to step away from the grind,

(01:36):
to get clarity, to build confidence, and reconnect with yourself,
whether it be in the clear air of the jungles
of p and G or the mountains of Nepal, that
I'd love you to join me in one of our adventures.
Adventures honestly clear the mind. They reconnect you to your purpose,
They give you space to grow. So check out the
link in the show notes or head over to www.
Dot adventure professionals dot com dot AU. So let's talk

(01:58):
about what cognitive dissonance is. Cognitive dissonance is that uncomfortable
tension that you feel when your actions do align with
your values, your words don't align with your behavior, or
you're living in a way that contradicts what you say.
Matters to you, But most people don't feel the discomfort
for long because the brain has this trick. Instead of
changing behaviors, it changes the story. The excuses, the justifications,

(02:23):
the reasons why are all cognitive dissonance at work. But
here's a kicker. You can't change what you won't acknowledge,
and a lot of people are living their entire lives
in this mental tugger war without even realizing it. So
today is about realizing it. Cognitive distance isn't about judging others.

(02:43):
It's not about your partner's behavior, your boss, your staff,
your clients, your kids. It's about you, your patterns, your
blind spots, your contradictions. Because the moment you see the
dissonance in yourself, you also see the opportunities for growth.
Every meaningful transformation in your life will start when you
recognize that the way I'm behaving does match the person

(03:06):
that I say I want to be. If you can't
admit that, you can't change anything. So let's talk about
how dissonance shows up in real life. Let's go through
some examples, not to point fingers, but to give you
a lens to look at yourself more honestly. So let's
talk about health and fitness. You might say my health matters,
I want to be fit, I want more energy, but

(03:27):
you skip workouts, you eat like crap. When you're stress,
you stay up late, scrolling, and instead of acknowledging the contradictions,
you justify it. I'm too busy, I'll start Monday. I
deserve a break. That's cognitive dissonance. In your relationships, you
might say I love my partner, I want connection. Communication
is important to me, but your actions avoid difficult conversations,

(03:51):
get defensive, shut down, half listen, and the mind says
they're too sensitive. I didn't mean it like that. I'm
just tired. That's cognitive dissonance. Money. You say I want
financial freedom, but you keep spending emotionally. You don't budget,
You avoid the uncomfortable realities of your bank account, and
the excuses become. Life is too expensive. I work hard.

(04:14):
I deserve it again, cognitive dissonance. Let's talk about business
or career. You say I want to grow, I want
to lead, I want more opportunities, but you avoid feedback,
You procrastinate, you blame circumstances. You don't work on the
skills that would change your life, and then your mind
sets to you, the timing isn't right, the industry is tough,

(04:35):
people don't get me. That's cognitive dissonance. Let's talk about
personal growth. You say I want to be better, but
you avoid the mirror. You avoid hard trues, you avoid accountability,
you avoid taking ownership. Then the mind says, it's not
my fault, that's just who I am. Again, cognitive dissonance. See,

(04:57):
your brain hates inconsistency. It hates admitting that you're not
living to your standards. So instead of changing your behavior,
it protects you by changing the narrative. It gives you excuses, justification, stories, blame, denial, minimization, rationalization,
all designed to keep you comfortable. But comfortable keeps you stuck.

(05:20):
Comfortable keeps you small, Comfortable keeps you repeating patterns. Whereas growth,
it requires discomfort, and the first discomfort is facing yourself.
So I want you to pause this episode if you
need to, and I want you to sit with these
One where in your life are your actions not matching
your values? And be brutally honest. Two? What excuses are

(05:44):
you using to justify behavior you know is below your standard? Three?
What story do you tell yourself to avoid change? Four,
where do you get defensive instead of reflective? And five
what area of life feels stuck? And what part are

(06:05):
you responsible for? Not someone else you. Now, I'm gonna
be honest, these questions are going to hurt a little bit,
and that's good because that's the work. See here's the
practical part. Once you recognize the dissonance, you've got two choices.
Change the story or change the behavior. Changing the story

(06:25):
this is what most people do. Excuses, blame, justification, reasons, easy, comfortable,
no growth, Change the behavior. This is what high performers do.
It's harder, it's confronting, it requires accountability, and it requires action.
But it's where all transformation happens. Your job is to
choose alignment over comfort. When your values and actions match,

(06:49):
life gets simpler, Stress reduces, relationships improve your confidence grows
because you trust yourself more. And that's the real secret here.
When your behavior aligned with your values, you become stronger, clearer,
and more capable. If you're stuck some in your life,
in your health, your fitness, your relationships, your career, your finances,

(07:10):
there is always some element of cognitive distance involved. Always
the moment you own that you get your power back.
Not everything is your fault, but everything becomes your responsibility.
So here's a simple daily practice, every night or every morning.
If that works better, ask yourself, where do I act

(07:31):
out of alignment with the person I want to be today?
No judgment, no self attack, just awareness. Awareness is the
antidote to dissonance, because once you're aware, you can adjust.
See I've seen this play out on Kokoda, Everest, kiliman
Jara all over the world. People will say I'm strong,
I'm resilient, I don't quit, I'm a team player. Then

(07:52):
the climb gets hard, the humidity hits, the altitude hits,
or fatigue sets in, and suddenly the stories that told
themselves and the actions that are showing up don't match.
Some people justify it's too hot, it's too hard, or
didn't sleep well, that's dissonance. Others go quiet, reflect own it,
a just step up, and they grow. That's why adventure
is powerful. It strips away the stories and leaves only

(08:15):
the truth. You meet yourself, your real self when you're
out there. Just remember team Cognitive dissonance isn't a flaw.
It's human. We all do it. But the people who grow,
the people who lead the people who build strong relationships,
strong businesses, strong bodies, strong lives. They're the ones who
catch themselves in the contradiction and choose action instead of excuses.

(08:38):
So today's challenge is real simple. Find the gap between
who you say you are and how you behave and
then close that gap every day, one decision at a time.
That is how you're going to build a better human
And honestly, it does start with you. That's its team.
Thanks for joining me today on the Building Better Humane
Project podcast. Now, if this episode hits home, I'd love

(09:02):
it if you share it with someone who needs it,
or listen to it again tomorrow with a journal in hand.
And if you're ready for a reset, you know where
to find me Nepaul PNG Africa, Canada or right here
on this podcast. You are capable of so much more
than you know, so I want you to go out
and get after it. You know the drills, be the
best version of you, and I'll chat to you again

(09:22):
on Friday.

Speaker 1 (09:30):
Thanks for listening to this episode of the Building Better
Humans Podcast with your host Glenn. A'sa for feedback. To
stay up to date, or go back and find an
old episode, head over to Oneady dot net dot au. Yeah,
the building, better humors, Project par Cares.

Speaker 2 (09:46):
Let's go.