Love, Comfort and Understand First

In this episode, Glenn reflects on a powerful moment of wisdom shared by a homeless man during an interview—words originally passed down from an AA sponsor: “You are not here to be loved, comforted and understood. You were put here to love, comfort and understand.”

It’s a simple idea, but one that challenges the way many of us move through the world.

In a society increasingly focused on what’s in it for me, this episode invites you to flip the script—to lead with generosity, compassion, and understanding before worrying about what you receive in return.

Glenn explores how shifting from entitlement to contribution can transform relationships, reduce conflict, and create deeper connection—both with others and within yourself.

The conversation dives into the power of making generous assumptions, the dangers of living in constant expectation, and why giving what you seek often leads to receiving it.

This episode is a reminder that personal growth isn’t just about self-improvement—it’s about how we show up for the people around us. If we all lived this way, wouldn’t we all feel more loved, more comforted, and more understood?

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:05):
Appoche production.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
Get a team that as are hearing back to the
Building Better Humans Project podcast. Today we're diving into what
is simple but a powerful idea and one that hit
me right between the eyes when I heard it, because
I was watching an interview with a homeless man and
he shared something that his AA sponsor once said to him,
and his sponsor said, you are not here to be loved, comforted,

(00:31):
and understood. You were here. You were put here to love,
comfort and understand. Now here's a thing. This guy's homeless,
he's got every reason to be bitter or hardened by life.
But he then went on and said, I love that
because if we all live like that, we'd all be loved, comforted,
and understood. So that's today's episode. That's the challenge, that's

(00:51):
the opportunity, So let's get into it. See, we live
in a world where that's a fault setting seems to
be what do I get? How does this benefit me?
Who's looking after my needs? And look, that is human.
It's normal. We ought to be seen and we all
want to feel safe and supported. But problems arise when
the need to receive outweighs the desire to give. Because

(01:13):
when everyone is standing around with their hands out waiting
for someone else to make the move. First, nothing moves.
We become a society of frustrated people who feel unseen, unappreciated,
and unsupported, while simultaneously doing very little to love, appreciate,
and support others. And this is where that homeless man's
words carry such weight. He wasn't quoting a philosopher, he

(01:36):
wasn't reciting a self help book. He was sharing truth
from the bottom rung of society, where life is raw
and nothing is sugarcoated. Imagine if every single person woke
up each day and asks who can I love today?
Who can I comfort today? Who can I understand better today?
Before checking notifications, before worrying about what was going right
in the life, before asking the world to give them something?

(01:58):
What would change everything? Because here's a mindset truth you've
heard me say before. When you give from a place
of abundance, you create abundance. Your relationships shift, your internal
state shifts, your energy shifts. When you focus outward, ironically,
you become more grounded inward. We're going to assume the

(02:20):
worst of people in society. They didn't reply to me
because they don't respect me. He was rude to he
must be an idiot. She made a mistake because she's incompetent.
But what if we made a thing called generous assumptions.
What if we said, they're probably overwhelmed. Maybe they're going
through something I don't know about. Perhaps they didn't intend
to come across that way. This doesn't make you naive,

(02:41):
it makes you powerful because people who assume the worst
are constantly in battle mode. People who assume the best
are constantly in growth mode. And growth mode is where
better humans are built. So let's take a moment, like
we always do on this show, to slow things down
a little bit and check in. Here are three questions
for you to consider. Do I spend more time wanting

(03:03):
love or giving love? Am I looking for understanding or
offering understanding? Do I assume the best in people or
the worst? And then sit with that because the gap
between who we are and who we want to be
often lives in these questions. Here's what's fascinating. When you

(03:23):
give what you seek, you tend to receive it. When
you become someone who offers love first, you will be loved.
When you become someone who offers comfort to others, you'll
be comforted. When you become someone who seeks to understand
before being understood, you will be understood. We think the
world works give and take, but it's actually give and

(03:44):
you create space for others to give back. Now, this
podcast isn't just about inspiration, it's about implementation. So here's
a simple behavioral challenge for the next seven days for you. One,
I want you to give one person love before they ask,
a message, a kind word, a gesture. This doesn't have
to be your intimate relationship, but send something out to people.

(04:09):
Two Comfort one person, check in on someone that you
haven't heard from. Offer support without judgment. And then three,
seek to understand one person. Ask a question, listen without
preparing your reply. Assume generosity, small shifts, massive impact. Again,
I'll go through those. Give one person love before they ask,

(04:30):
a message, a kind word, a gesture, Comfort one person.
Seek to understand one person, just for the next week.
Why does this matter for personal development Because too many
people are trying to improve their lives in isolation. They
want better relationships, better friendships, better work environments, better support networks,
better communities, but they forget that they are a part

(04:50):
of those systems. If you want a better environment, be
a better piece of that environment. It's leadership, itsself mastery,
its emotional intelligence. It's what the Building Better Humans project
is built on. If a homeless man with nothing to
his name, no comfort, no safety, no certainty, if he
can hold a philosophy that profound and generous, then surely

(05:13):
we can too. Maybe we're not here to be loved,
comfort and understood. Maybe we're here to love, comfort and understand.
And maybe, just maybe if we all live that way,
we'd finally get everything we've been seeking. That's your team.
Thanks for tuning in. As always, short one today, but
if this hits with you, I'd love you to share
with someone who needs it. If you want to dive

(05:35):
deep into personal growth, leadership, or mindset, then join me.
Follow me on Instagram, jump into our Building Better Humans
project Facebook pages. We've got a private group in there.
Remember you're not just here to take from the world,
You're here to build a better one, starting with you.
So get involved in different ways that you can be
it with myself Building Better Humans Project, adventure professionals who
sponsors this podcast and that you know I run and own.

(05:58):
Get involved with life, and life will start getting involved
with you and that ties right back into what we
talked about last Friday, which is living the width and
depth of your life, not just the length of it.

Speaker 1 (06:16):
Thanks for listening to this episode of The Building Better
Humans podcast with your host Glenn a'sa for feedback. To
stay up to date or go back and find an
old episode, head over to one ady dot net dot au. Yeah,
the Building Better Humour's project par Cares litt