November 2, 2025 • 49 mins
Navigating Life's Complexities: Age, Perception, and Personal Growth
Are you ready for a thought-provoking conversation that tackles some of society's most uncomfortable truths? In this episode of The Building Better Humans Project, hosts Glenn and Mili dive deep into the complex topics of age dynamics in relationships, societal perceptions, and the journey of personal growth. They don't hold back as they address the stark difference between consenting adult relationships and the predatory behavior that targets vulnerable young people.
The conversation explores how social media has created spaces where people feel emboldened to judge others without context, and how these interactions often reveal more about the critics than those they criticize. Through personal anecdotes and reflections, Glenn and Mili share insights on resilience, anti-fragility, and the importance of taking ownership of your personal development journey.
Timestamps:
00:02:30 - Introduction to the podcast sponsors and upcoming adventures
00:08:45 - Discussion about online criticism and dealing with negativity
00:14:20 - The difference between adult relationships and predatory behavior toward minors
00:23:15 - Reflections on growing up and recognizing inappropriate situations in hindsight
00:31:40 - How to protect young people while empowering them
00:39:50 - Practical advice on building resilience and establishing healthy routines
00:47:10 - The importance of setting achievable fitness goals and celebrating small wins
Key Takeaways:
- There's a critical distinction between age-gap relationships between consenting adults and predatory behavior targeting minors
- Our experiences, even difficult ones, can contribute to anti-fragility - becoming stronger because of what we've been through
- Setting small, achievable goals is more effective than ambitious targets that are easy to abandon
- Personal development requires discipline first, which eventually transforms into sustainable habits
- The most powerful growth comes from taking ownership of your triggers rather than expecting the world to accommodate them
Ready to challenge your thinking and gain valuable insights on personal growth? Listen now and join the conversation about building better humans through honesty, resilience, and self-awareness.
The Building Better Humans Project is brought to you by ADVENTURE PROFESSIONALS. Visit www.adventureprofessionals.com.au
ADVENTURE WITH GLENN
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Appodchae Production.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Hey, team gnaes A here walking back to the building,
Better Humans Project podcast. It is Mayhem Monday, which means,
as always we have Mayhem in the building.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Good morning, hello or good night whenever you're listening to this.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Yes, whenever you are listening. Now, a couple of things. Quickly,
we're going to do lessons lamp. But what I've been
doing recently on the audio version of the podcast, and
for those unaware, that's every Wednesday and Friday, I just
do an audio personal development sort of, you know, five
to ten minutes. But I've been mentioning that the podcast
is actually brought to people by Adventure Professionals. Of course,
it's not free obviously to create podcasts, and we're helped
(01:08):
out by pod Shape, but also over the ten years,
realistically it's been our own businesses that have paid for
us to put the podcast together. So I would always
invite people to look up Adventure Professionals dot com dot au. Literally,
what we believe is that adventure is the best personal
development model, so it ties into what we do. I've
(01:29):
just returned from Oussie ten and then I'm heading over
to Everspace Camp in a couple of days times. So
literally this is what we do. And so yeah, get
over to Adventure Professionals dot com dot are you to
check out what we do. Next year, it is my
intention to take Millie to She'll come back to Pang
obviously because we go there a lot. But Africa. I
want to take you to Africa to do man Klima.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Joe have to go to Africa and I want to.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Take you to Nepal. And she's already done the Yukon.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Shorts, so we could talk about Africa Africa.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
Yes, she just likes them because she's an animal.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
But I'm my favorite animal.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
That being a favorite. That aside, if you want to
come to Kilimanjaro, which is in September next year, or
if you want to come to every Space camp in November,
then obviously really end I'll be on that. We'd love
to have you come along.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Come along.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
So we're going to talk very quickly about lessons learned.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
My lesson learned was this morning. Yes, and you taught
me that a Taswisian is someone from Tasmania. Yes, because
we bumped into a shout out to the Tezusian gypsy.
His name is Tobias he's a trainer out of east
Side Boxing and we were trying to remember his social
name and then I was like, isn't it Twei. He's
(02:42):
like no, I think it's Taswisian. And I'm like, what's
a Tazwisian. And you taught me that it's someone from
Tasmania and I was like, stop it.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
She did not believe it.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
I know, it's like you're making stuff up, but it is.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
I've never heard of that. I said, that's a well
known thing in Teswisian.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
I don't know well known, so I.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Said, Google it's it's a Tesweisian. I said, someone who's
from Tasmania.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
A native of Tasmania in Australia.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
I don't know. That's a thing.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Not a very exciting lesson learned, but that's what I learned.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
My lessons learned. And we're not talking negativities on the
podcast anymore, but lessons learned much. You can't change people's
opinions if they're locked in on something. So we had
an interaction recently on social media where a lady was
just going in on us a bit who we've never met,
known nothing about, who had an issue and interestingly, something
she wrote throughout all of those interactions of having a
(03:30):
go at us and other people she didn't know, was
that a photo of you and I together was triggering
and therefore I should have And it was just a
photo of us sitting at dinner, but she said it
was triggering for people, and therefore you should keep your
profile on private because that was her excuse for commenting
on it. And I'm like, my opinion, and I think
(03:50):
yours would be the same, is that if you know
something is triggering for you, you can't expect the world to
not do that thing that triggers you.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
It's not the world's job to make you.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Comfortable if you know and you can identify.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
And that kills me that that type of thinking victimhood, Oh,
it honestly does. It's like, it's not everybody else around
us job to make you your safe little bubble. You
have to figure it out.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Like, yeah, so if you can identify that you find
something triggering, then go and sort that out. The onus
is on you, That's and what I've learned is people
don't do that. And she just doubled down, this lady
on stuff and just kept going on and on and
a big issue, which is something we're going to talk
about today anyway, was our age gap, the age gap
between millions.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
She went like, doesn't know us personal? She well, she did.
She had to go at my hands. Well, some guy
had to go at my hands, and she like, very
happily agreed. I was like, why I got beef with
my hands? Like Jesus lethal weapons anyway? Actually register, Yeah, And.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
She started having to go with lots of things.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Yeah, she was having to go like I wasn't wearing
a bra and the top I was wearing is from
a shop called the Naked Wardrobe, so like, you're gonna
see a bit of naple. Well, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
We're not, but we're at a really nice five star restaurant.
Before going to an ACE boxing event a while back,
the caption that was written was just about being present
enough to love the people that love you in life.
That's what I wrote because I had a couple of
mates message mean and said, how could anyone have a
problem when that you read that caption and you see
that photo where you's genuinely look happy.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
And she went as far as to call me a
gold digger, And I hate that perception that an older
guy and a younger woman equals money or after money.
I've always made my own money to looking for the gold.
Some my bab I still got to go to work
every day and.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Stuff said some guy wrote gold digger, lol, And I
just wrote back and said, I'm not, but if she's
going to give me the gold, I'll take it.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Yeah. But she was saying by her that was pretty
funny by her O'Brien in her next allowance.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
In the next allowance, oh my god that a friend
of mine shout out to Jen Heavington who's done Aussie
ten kakoda and stuff, and she's a paramedic cup on
the Sunny coast Jim Brisbane. Now we passed her in
Renkly fun day when we're driving. Yah, that's gen So
general back to this woman and said you should be
more like a bra, be supportive and up fifteen That
(06:15):
was my favorite comment.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Classic.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
So I guess that ties into something we've wanted to
talk about for some period of time, which is as girls,
not as young women. And let's be really honest, there's
fourteen fifteen, sixteen year old girls that older men will
convince you're very mature for your age and you're a
young woman or you're.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Not child, they are still a child. And like I think,
you know, as someone who is dating someone where like
you're older than me, that's obvious, it's true, it's factual,
blah blah blah blah. But I'm an adult. I'm thirty
two years old. I was thirty years old when we met.
I'm not a fourteen year old girl. It's completely different.
(06:55):
And I've definitely been in situations where and I can
honestly say that most women that I've spoken to now
look back on their teenage lives and go, yeah, there
was a point in my life where, you know, there
was a twenty five year old male who was hanging
out with me, and I thought like, oh my god,
I'm so cool because this older guy thinks that I'm cool.
(07:16):
But in actual fact, he's a predator, because when you
look back on it, I was fourteen. You have no
business dating a fourteen year old as an adult male
which is twenty five, you know what I mean. When
you both grow up and you're both consenting adults, then
it's different. But when this person is a child, and
when you're an adult and you start like you know,
(07:38):
and then I saw this other thing. You know, men
won't go and hang out with a You're not going
to catch a twenty five year old male going to
hang out with a fourteen year old kid male also
because he's too immature. But when it comes to girls, Oh,
you're so mature for your age, or you're so cool,
but in actual fact you're a predator, you know what
I mean?
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Because I think they can calm the girls into having
sex obviously, and the attraction being what they can control
someone fully.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Yeah, I don't know as.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
A boy at school, like I didn't stay at school
past year nine, but as a fourteen fifteen year old boy,
you back in those days, even you couldn't date a
girl your own age because she was getting picked up
by blokes in cars and you were on your pushbike,
which it was not very cool, and fourteen fifteen year
old girls they just didn't view you as cool because
of that. They're getting picked up by PA players eighteen
(08:31):
nineteen and sometimes up to people in their twenties, and
you didn't really understand that except that you didn't have
those things yet to offer them. But realistically that was men,
you know, sitting outside schools waiting to pick up teenage
girls and year nine and.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Ten, Yeah, like what was I doing? But I was
a child And that's the very thing. It's like, you're
a child. You don't have the type of critical thinking,
you don't have the life experience. You just think, whatever's cool,
I'm going to do it.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
If you can go back to that fourteen in your
old self, do you do you remember feeling like, oh, validated, like, oh,
they see me as an adult. They think I'm attractive,
did you, Because that's what they're trying to do, right,
they're trying to make you.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
Yeah, for sure, Yeah, yeah, one hundred percent. I guess so.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Yeah, But then the adult version of you, And this
is where this podcast episode comes from, I guess is
we were sitting around talking once and you were a
little bit upset and you said, it upsets me to
think now that I look back at that these men
prayed on me and my friends as fourteen, fifteen, sixteen
year olds, whereas at the time you were willing participants
(09:40):
because you don't know any better. And that's their argument
where she wanted to yeah, but she doesn't know any better.
But it does upset you when you get older.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
Well, it does because you can only look back in
hindsight and you can't change anything. But like, I guess
that's it. You can't change it. So what do you do? Yeah,
I don't know, it's just kind of like you feel. Oh,
I don't know what the word is, gross good.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Of Yeah, but we now look at Sammy turns he
turns thirteen, you know soon that's his next birthday, So
he's coming to that age where if that was a girl,
we'd be going because founding our boy doesn't have a
twenty five ye old woman chasing after typically does happen,
but it's rare very and I've read a few cases.
(10:29):
We're like a school teacher or something that's very rare.
But in this case, you know, if he was a
thirteen or fourteen year old girl, based off your life experiences,
you're now watching that. And then this is where parents
have disconnect because we know what we know. And so
when a twenty year old boy turns up or older
and we go no, and then your daughter says, oh,
(10:52):
you're overreacting. You know, we're just friends or he just
likes me, just sees this in me. But we know
what's actually happening.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
But the other thing about it is that those men
knew what was happening to because they wouldn't pick you
up at your house. They didn't want to meet your dad.
Do you know what I mean? That meet you at
the bloody ye.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Meet me to tell anyone.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Yeah, So it's like you knew for fulwell what you
were doing. You knew that it was wrong. You know
that you're a predator.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
And some of them did it to more than one girl, obviously,
people that were on the fringe of your.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
It's kind of pathetic really, It's like it's kind of
it's just like your anyway.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
But there's people that did it more than once. And
this is what I wonder, do they ever sit back
and fear that it's going to come back and bite them?
You know? I just read a case interestingly in the
Career Male in Brisbane here where a lady who was
dating her school teacher started when she was a child,
(11:53):
basically in high school, and then he started sharing all
this attention on her. She was some sort of athlete
like a swimmer or something, and he would always give
her extra attention and then very quickly it turned to
you know, sexual advances. They ended up getting married and
having children. And then when they've separated, like after ten years,
she's kind of really unpacked a lot of what that
(12:15):
put her through and talked about it, and she started
programs to try and help girls in school identify what
is happening because he ostracized her away from family and friends.
He showered attention on her. It was a good looking
young man, so he was popular with teenage girls, which
obviously is his justification. But then what I read was
the comments and all the men getting on there and going, now,
(12:36):
she's assaulting, now that they've had a divorce, she's unhappy,
not saying, well, hang on, she was fourteen, he was
twenty five year old school teacher in a position of power,
so that and they're saying yeah, but once the arguments
when I read in my line there were hundreds of them,
they end up turning the comments off. Was oh yeah,
but by the time she's nineteen or twenty or had
a child, she's old enough then to know, so why
didn't she do it? Then?
Speaker 1 (12:57):
No, it's so much harder by then, And since seeing
that you're going from fourteen, you know, their adults, people
who start relationships in their adulthood and can't seem to
find their way to get out of them. In your adulthood,
this is still a child at nineteen, you're kind of still.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
A child, especially if you've been with someone since fourteen, Yeah,
who was twenty five at the time, so you've transitioned.
So four or five years later, you know, you're nineteen,
he's thirty, so he's still got that position of power.
So you know, I was just I'm always interested.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
In It's so different when you meet in your twenties
or your thirties or and you're both adults at that time,
regardless of the age gap, as opposed to I met
you and I was fourteen, you were twenty whatever.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
It's tricky for us to have that conversation because of
our age gap, and there are people that would absolutely
be triggered by that, you know, which is not our
We don't worry about that because it's not our position
to worry about. But I understand that it can seem
ironic that we have this conversation. But again, the age
gap is very different. When you're a mother with two
children thirty years of age, you're not being conned into anything,
(14:13):
and I'm not wealthy, so there's no gold digging, so like,
in fact, if we look at what we've earned over
the time we've been together, it'd be fifty to fifty
sixty forty someone's way, maybe even your way. I don't know.
Like we in our business, we have some really good
moments and then we have some moments when we don't.
And the whole time that we've been together, I've not
gone and got a job, but you've had two or
(14:33):
three jobs. And that's why people don't see that, because
we're not people that post every job online, Oh here's
going to work again.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
They just automatically assume that it must be a young,
dumb girl just looking for some money. I could have
done that ages ago, do you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
I remember we were talking about we were saying that
years ago she dated a guy that are ferrari, and
it was like, if that was the goal, well I
already did that, and I could have just stayed there.
And I know that that person had reached out to you,
not since we've been together, but sometime after the relationship,
still wanting to be with you, So you could have
definitely done that, but it wasn't for you. So if
(15:09):
that's how people believe the end goal, that's crazy. But
also from that point of view, and I'll come back
to the kids saying, but from that point of view,
for women to attack other women and just make that assumption,
like I get why men do it because they have
such simple brains and they're having a go at this
school teacher situation I talked about before, and they naturally
think that, well, you couldn't be attracted to me or
(15:29):
someone older than you. It's got to be that they've
got money, which I don't. You know, we're fine, but
it's not like we're rolling around in sports cards and stuff.
But it challenged me when women think that, particularly that
you have this belief of another woman that she for
whatever triggers in you, whether it's her looks or if
for some reason you're triggered enough to think, well, she's
(15:50):
just out trying to make money. She's a crazily bitter
attitude than we have. And the other thing, if I
go back to the lessons learn, is we all do this.
Are you okay day? And you know this is my
number reach out. I prefer to speak to you, then
to speak at your few unal. All this sort of
absolute bullshit that people put out there and the same people.
They're out attacking people online who they don't even know.
(16:12):
But why do you need that dramma in your life?
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Yeah, very odd, But anyway.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
How do how do you help young girls as women? Look,
if we had a daughter that was Sammy's age, that
would be very triggering for you right now as far
as every male that come in, because you know their
intention and every male, she's going to go, Mum, you're
over reacting. And so for the mums out there, I guess,
and the dads, but I think dads are really protective
(16:40):
of their daughters because they know what they were like
when they were young men. But for mums, they've experienced
the negative side of it as well.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
Because I've spoken, how can I be way more strict
if I had a daughter than on the boys? And
I know that they might not be unfair, but it's
just how I would be. Like, the boys have a
certain level of freedom that I probably wouldn't give my daughter.
So the boys can are free to go on right
around the neighborhood and go fishing, and they can be
gone all day. They're twelve and and they go out
with a big group of friends and they go out
(17:08):
with their maids and they go to their skate park
and they have a normal childhood. I guess like the
ones that we all had. We'd go and hang out
in the street, play basketball, play footy. If I had
a daughter, I just don't feel like i'd give her that,
and she'd probably hate me for it.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
But sadly, they do get preyed upon. Yeah, and even
as a twelve year old, you might be getting preyed
upon only by a sixteen year old.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
I remember, honestly from as young as eight years old.
From eight years old, that's probably my earliest memory of
guys creeping on me. Adult males like looking at me
in you know, like away or and then as soon
as I started getting in.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Way was yeah or did it just feel uncomfortable?
Speaker 1 (17:49):
It just felt uncomfortable. Yeah, it just really felt uncomfortable. Yeah,
that's stare. And they'd like nudge each other eight like
your gross and.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
What about when you start developing?
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Well then they sort of you'll see them glance at
you tubes and things like that, and it's saying.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
How old are you now? At ten eleven? Twelve?
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Yeah, about twelve? Yeah, and they do the old and
you can like it's like, we can see where your
eyes go. Do you think you're so sly about it?
Like it's so stupid. They were like look and they'll
be like like I'll do it to the camera and
hopefully you can see it. But like that's my booms
rang and they were just and they were just we
(18:33):
can see, we can see now, we could see back then.
We're not dumb, You're not sly about it. It's disgusting,
Like you know, they're a child.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
So do young girls were in your experience, do you
start to change the way you dress at that age
because it gets uncomfortable or do you because that's the
really hard thing. You should be free And Interestingly, in
this conversation we had with this lady online, she wasn't
happy at the top you wearing on the fact that
weren't wearing a brow, so that's still a perception that
you've had people looking at her. Basically, her opinion was,
(19:08):
you want people to look at.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
You at that age. Once you start getting over the
boys have cootie stuff, then you start to dress hay,
you like, because you want male attention wherever it comes from.
Most like, I don't know, it's just a natural thing,
you know, you start to explore that sort of side
to you and then yeah, and then if it's unwanted
(19:32):
male attention, it's disgusting. But then if it's wanted male attention,
then it's like, oh my god.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Yeah, so you have to dress. We don't have to,
but you're dressing for that way. And then in the
un wanted stuff, you just don't lie. Yeah, it's a
part of trying.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
To but that's when you're young. And then you grow up.
Well me personally can't speak for all women, but then
you sort of grow up into thinking, I'm going to
wear what I want because I think that I look
good in it. And then I started doing gym and
started training hard and like, of course I want to
show my shoulders, like I've worked really hard for those shoulders,
(20:04):
things like that. And then you grow into an age
well me, where like you sometimes you go out looking
like this, Sometimes you go out in your pajamas sometimes,
like I don't really it doesn't really bother me who
is looking or who is just how you feel about
that exactly. Yeah, But as a teenage girl, when you're
(20:26):
trying to get attention from whoever you want to get attention,
from it's different.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
Yeah, so what about people who would say, now you're
thirty two and you're fit. Obviously, when I think you
earn the right to look how you look, you know
none of us. But there's some genetics obviously to people.
But also you can work hard. There will be steal
people that have the opinion that you dress like even
in sports togither like that because you want attention. There'll
be women that think.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
That, yeah, I'm aware of that.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
Isn't that crazy?
Speaker 1 (20:54):
It's it's wild.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Yeah, is that on them or you?
Speaker 1 (20:58):
It's on them obviously. Yeah, you can't assume I dress
how I dress for what that's not.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
Because then if you say, well I don't want unwanted
male attention or people looking at me, then they go, well,
we didn' don't dress like that. But that's not that
attitude that women get raped because in the old ninetiesn't
that the pleasurable What were you're wearing? It's irrelevant relevant
what I was wearing. He didn't have the right to
sexually assault me. Let's just assume that. So, yeah, it's
not a far line between those two. If people go, well,
(21:29):
you're getting attention because you're dressing a certain way.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Then if I like to try and take accountability, say,
if you are dressing like that, that would you would
assume that everyone's going to look at me, and then
you'd be annoyed when people didn't. That's not why I
dress that way. I dressed that way because that's what
I want to check on today.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
So obviously you would be aware that being a fit
woman that other women do get jealous. Right, that's a thing.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
I thought, what was too old for it? But clearly not.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
Clearly not because that woman was looking much older than
you and she was still unhappy about it. I'm not
being really, I'm just saying she wasn't young like I
would suggest based off her profile picture. Fifties, So you're
not a baby like I'm in my fifties. But you're
not a baby in your fifties. You can make your
own decisions. And her decision was to try and tear
someone down. She doesn't know. Little do you know? You're
(22:19):
not that easy to tear down when it comes. But
you're aware that it can be triggering to women. And
then on the other side of the coin, it can
be empowering to women because we've got friends, clients, sponsors,
who have said to you, hell areea, I'm jealous when
I look at you, and but good on you. We've
got a message which we will read in a moment
(22:40):
from We've had lots of messages from people who just
read all of those interactions, and women as well, saying
I'm actually really inspired by you. So if that inspiration
that they feel is on them, well so's the people
who are being triggered by it. That's there's something in you.
And that was my message to that lady who was
(23:01):
triggered as in her words, that it's triggering and you
should have a private profile so that people don't put
on one in comments no, or you could just not comment.
That's absolutely an options for the vailb.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
That's just the same as if you see a figure
walking down the street and she's got tiny little booty
shots on and a top on. You know, don't look
if you don't like that, or if you think that
she shouldn't be wearing that for your own weirdass reason.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
Just look straight, Oh my favorite, I would never wear that.
Don't have to ask, you wear whatever you want exactly.
So it's just a really interesting perspective and I think
it highlights what's going on in people if you're inspired
by someone else who's succeeding. Because this isn't just about
a physical look, let's be really clear. People do this,
and I know men definitely do this when someone in
(23:47):
their circle is succeeding. They feel challenged by that and
they want to just drag them down a little bit,
even at kids level. We've heard the kids now someone
so they played really well in footing whether you know it,
didn't need this wrong, It's just a natural thing that
because it's natural.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
You get understand it when it's a child, because children
are still trying to their place in the world. They're
trying to see who's better. They're very competitive natural also.
Speaker 2 (24:09):
And grown men do it.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
I know that. So it's crazy to me that grown
people can act like children.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
When business goes. Oh he just his dad had a
bit of money, or he had this happened, or he
had that happened, or some things when he's way maybe,
but I reckon he worked hard because sheeps.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
People have daddy's money and they still don't do anything
with it.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
And your fitness in your body is I know for
a fact, how hard you work. People are out there
on a Monday morning at five point thirty do one
hundred and thirty five meters sprints by thirty two reps
that we were doing the other day or that you
were doing, and they were hard, and so people don't
see that side of the work, but more than happy
to bag out the result. How dare you show off
(24:48):
the result? You know? And it's not even showing off
the result. I'm an athlete and this is how I
want to address.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
So yeah, like that photo and that's the other thing
is like, and you probably see it on socials all
the time now, but people are too comfortable on social
media saying what they want on the internet. There's no
way this lady would have come up to us at
Stiltsteining where we took that photo and looked at you
in the eye and said you should pick someone your
own age and you should wear a bra. There's no like.
(25:16):
I'll put all my money on the fact that there's
no way that she would have had the balls to
come and say that to our face.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
That hit. That's a good point. So when people are
doing negativity like that, it's rare, slash, almost unheard of
to say that to your face. So therefore, in my opinion.
You know it's not the right thing to do, because
the opposite is true for positives. When there's positives, people
will come up and say, I find you really inspirational,
or I wish I had People don't say I wish
(25:46):
women come up to us and go never say I
wish I had that body to you. They say I
wish I worked as hard as you, I wish I
had the dedication, I wish it. They understand what it took.
And so it's interesting that for positives we're happy to
go and say them to people, but negatives were not,
which means you know they're the wrong thing. Yeah, you know,
it's shitty to have that attitude. And for me, the
whole point of any of that is what's worse is
(26:07):
we could be you. We could be walking around trying
to tear down people that makes us feel a certain way.
And for people listening to this show you're into personal development.
My advice would be that if you are triggered by
something and we all are work on it, it's your
job to work on it. It's not anyone else's job
to wear it. The world doesn't mold around you, and
if it does, you're gonna end up in some little
(26:28):
safe room somewhere where the world doesn't bump into you,
because that's what's going to happen. So that's my Well,
the we.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
Went off like a little bit, but the whole point
of bringing up her comment was because she was talking
about the age gap, and we wanted to segree it
into the fact that, you know, it's completely different because
we're two consenting adults, but I actually know what it's
like to be a child being prayed on by an
older adult male when I'm a child, So that's just
(26:58):
two completely different things.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Do you regret decisions from when you're a child.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
I can't regret anything. It's hard to regret anything because
like everything, do.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
You wish you there's never told me I really wish
I hadn't done that with that person, or do you
just let me.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
There's a few guys like I was, what was I thinking?
Speaker 2 (27:24):
I guess we've all had that. Yeah, I know I'm
about more as a child where you feel like I
genuinely felt like I was taking advantage of Yeah, and
I really wish someone had help me or put the
hand up on my p group, which I know is
they don't know any better.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
Because though everyone was doing the same thing sort of thing,
it was just like we were we were all with
these bunch of older guys and we thought we were
in and they'd come pick us up and we'd go
out and smoke cigarettes and drink in the back of
the car. And it looks part well, you look back
on it, and there were fun parts of it, because
you're a teenager who just wants to go and have fun.
Girls just want to have fun. But then you look
(28:01):
at the people that you were hanging out with and
you're like.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
So he's a eson with the thirty year old version
of you hanging out with that same guy that the
fourteen year old was hanging out with. Do you know
what I mean? Like the thirty year old version of you.
If that twenty four year old came up to your
twenty five year old and the forteen yard thinks, why
he's cool, he's giving me all these things, I wonder
the thirty old version of you look at him and go,
you seem like a bit of a grub.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
Yeah, he's just like there were scrubs, Like we're sitting
in the back of this beat up car, like.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
But it's a car.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
Yeah, cigarettes, drink and Sierra tequila.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
I don't know what that is.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
It's disgusting. And someone with the hat it was cheap
as and like they just trying to get.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
Young girls drunk and give them all the things that
they want. So they want and the thirty odd version
of you is like, na, bro, you're going to come
more to the table than that.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
Yeah, we're going to go to stilts dining or something.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
It's interesting in life. I'll come back to Sani. But
it's interesting in life that we they say that we
learn all the lessons after we need them, so you
get the experience first and then you learn the lesson.
And for some people they'd never apply the lesson, I guess.
And so you get smarter as you get older. And
obviously you had children quite young that matures you pretty quickly,
(29:12):
when you like it or not. We should talk about
youth development work soon because we've made so much in RAGE.
We've had some really good meetings in the last week.
And what I loved about the meetings we had this
week is there were women in that room that have
been through some pretty hectic stuff at fourteen, fifteen, sixteen
years of age, who are now older and changing young
(29:32):
people's lives, which is pretty impressive, amazing. And then on
the other side of that, you've got people sitting online
banging out younger women, and I think, what are you
doing for the world, Because our job is to try
and make ourselves the best version of ourselves to leave
the world in a better place. Whatever our small circle
of the world is. And I'm under no illusion our
circle or our influence is very tiny you and I
(29:55):
compared to you know, we're not Gandhi or Mother Teresa
or you know, but we have an impact. And so
then how do you part said on and if you're
not passing that on? And the people that we met
in that room were just amazing with what they do.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
But I work currently with teenage girls now, and you know,
they've been in similar situations, and I won't delve into
that situation at all, but I will say, like, you know,
I can speak from my experience and I can give
them advice based on my experience and the mistakes that
I made and the things that and you know, they
won't listen to you, but they'll have it in the
(30:32):
back of their head.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
So but at least maybe in five or ten years time,
they think someone did try it. Yeah, you know, you
might not have had that. I don't know, but someone
at least a bit older than me who'd been down
the road said, you know, you really should reconsider that relationship,
that those decisions.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
Yeah, and you can only hope that when they get
older they look back like we are even earlier than
I did and go, oh, that wasn't right.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
And you know, so can we read one of the
mess we're going to message We'll just say from Amanda And.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
It was in response to.
Speaker 3 (31:08):
The shade that we got from Oh Love talking about
no bras and my hands and all the rest that
are things she said.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
She's remembers. She wrote anything, you could only hope to
be as attractive.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
As me, but once someone shows you an ugly personality.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Everything is hideous to me. You could be a model,
and as soon as you show that personality, you are
a zero.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
And it was really really ugly.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
It was disgusting. It was like vile, like.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
We're fortunate enough to then you know, yesterday I sit
in the room of amazing people doing amazing things for
young people. So we're people who check in on us.
We're good because we're surrounded by very good people and
we get to have interactions with the people in that
room were so passionate as were we, and so you know,
at the end of the day, someone on the internet
doesn't worry.
Speaker 1 (31:58):
So and the thing that I love about it is
and I always go back to the fifteen year old me,
pretty aggressive, pretty, I'll say what I want to. I'll
probably hit you in the face. And that was me
when I was a teenager. I had a very, very
striking temper. It can still show up every now and again,
but I learned how to control it a little bit
more than I did when I was fifteen, and fifteen
(32:18):
year old me would have torn her to shreds online
and I would have said things like, oh, you're gonna
make fun of my hands, like let me, I'll show
them to you closer, like show me where you are,
you know. And I like to look back on that
on my life and be like, I'm not there anymore.
I'm good, Like I haven't even looked at my hands
since you wrought up my hands. I'm sweet. These hands
(32:39):
are going to be throwing November twenty nine and they're
going to be winning an Australian title.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
So they you've thrown Superman and White title.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
All right, So this is from Amanda, and thank you
so much for this message. She said. Really, I've been
following Glenn for a while now and now I'm now
loving watching your journey too. You're both such inspiring people
doing great things. It's pretty shit that there's people in
the world like those making the bullshit comments on your posts.
Sad thing is they could learn the most from the
two of you. Please keep on posting, as you're helping
(33:08):
so many, including me. I'm a forty eight year old
mother and needs to focus on resilience, exercise, and well being.
Your posts motivate me to do that. So thank you
for being you and sharing who you are. And I
did reply because I do and if I have missed
you in my message requests, I try not to. I
(33:29):
do try and check those as well, because I like
to reply to the positive ones as much as we do,
or if not more than we do to the negative ones,
because I want to give that my attention to those
things rather than always applying to negative stuff. So that
was her message, and it was really wack. You want
to No, No, I can rein. I just said, Hi, Amanda,
(33:51):
thank you so much for this message. I can't tell
you how much it means to me to read this.
Thank you for taking the time to send this beautiful,
positive message. We need more people in this world who
spread positivity and love.
Speaker 2 (34:02):
And that's probably a good thing to holight this whole
podcast around is whether we're talking about what happens to
young girls. We just need to be a safe face
and a reflect positivity and love for them and then
for when we get older in life. Unfortunately, this woman
in commedy, you've got your that's your responsibility. But we've
got a lot of good people, and so.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
I reckon, I'm going to put an NGL link when
we post this or get clips of this episode, and
people girls can anonymously, women can anonymously give their stories
of their experience when they were a younger man.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
That could be a teenager confronting.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
It, could be confronting, trigger up on it. Good men
need to hear. Men need to be better. And they
say not all men, but you know, actually no, but
it is not all men. But it's a lot I said.
Speaker 2 (34:55):
But again, yeah, I say, not all men are predators,
but I can't remember the exact quote.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
But not all men, but it's always a men.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
All the girls that have been prayed upon are prayed
upon by men typically, So yeah, I mean it's we
just whether we like that conversation as men or not,
we have to face that conversation through Brocamp. We want
young men to be better through Ala Warriors, we want
young girls to be stronger, and so we're relaunching those programs.
(35:25):
So please, we get a lot of people asking about
our youth programs. They're coming back out in January. We've
got some private ones coming up. We're doing some school groups,
We're doing all sorts of stuff. But keep your app
because we will have the opportunity to surround your children
with really strong role models, not just us too, but
other role models as well. I thought to answer because
(35:46):
a man had talked about resilience, well being and health,
and as a forty eight year old mother, it takes
a lot to reach out and mention that stuff to
people when you're having challenges, and I know through our
channels they are designed to be a little space of
positivity inspiration in the world. We're not trying to trigger people,
(36:06):
but we do want people to understand that you are
in control of your own life. You get to changings
because even when our responsor neg is I initially try
and give a little bit of nice advice and then
if they keep going down a road, I'll defend myself.
But mostly we want this to be positive. So if
you follow our socials, learn from the journeys. We're not
(36:26):
saying we're gurus, not by any streets of the imagination.
But we're having a crackit life and a lot of
people are not in the arena. They're not having a
crackt life, and we want people to be in the arena,
and that's who we surround ourselves with. People that take action,
people that have a goal or a dream, or just
willing to try something. So I wrote a few notes,
Amanda for you to address those things. Resilience first. So resilience,
(36:50):
for people that don't understand, is your capacity to bounce
back from anything that happens to you. And I love resilience,
but there's a thing stronger than that, which is called
anti fragility, and it's a psychological concept that you don't
just bounce back into shape, you become better because of
what you've been through. So you think about you talking
about not regretting things, and I do enjoy that. I've
(37:11):
used the word regret in the past, and I don't
like it because I don't agree with it, because I
can't change it. So regret is a poor word. But
would I make different decisions in my life, absolutely, of course.
But the anti fagility angle is well because of the
things you went through, no matter how bad they were
for you, for example, as a young woman, as a
twelve year old, as a fourteen years of sixteen years,
(37:31):
an eighteen year old, and so on, that's made you
into the woman you are today. You're stronger because of
those things, whereas some people are just resilient, which means
they just bounce back into shape, and some people are
absolutely dented and triggered by everything, which means you're still
controlled by the thing that happened to you many many
years after it happened. And I'm not saying that it's
(37:52):
not justified, but it's not helpful. So I just wrote
some notes around resilience that I thought might be helpful,
and this is what I wrote for Amanda and anyone
else listening. The first one is you've already built resilience
through parenting, work, life, so own that strength. Understand that, hey,
I've been through some stuff, and at forty eight in
a man's case, at fifty three in my case, at
(38:12):
whatever age you are listening or watching this, you've already
been through some stuff. And so the fact that you're
still here means you've gotten through everything that life has
thrown at you. And that's a pretty powerful understanding to
have when it comes to your resilience. The other one
that I write around resilience is or two. Remember that
motivation fades and discipline and routines are what keep you
moving forward. So when you get stuck, build routines, build discipline.
(38:36):
I know Millly's happy place is the gym, but it's
also her therapy place, which he doesn't feel good. If
we've ever had a fight, you will often just go
to the gym. That's her answer to a lot of
things because she can This is me talking for you,
but you can let energy out, you can let frustration out,
good and bad energy, and so on. So that's a
discipline that's a routine. It doesn't it's not like, oh,
(38:58):
we've had an argument or something's gone wrong today, so
I'm just going to stay in bed for the day. Like,
even if we do that, you still train twice in between,
stay in bed for the day or whatever. So that's
discipline and routine. And the third one I was just
going to say around resilience is just set micro goals,
because sometimes big goals are way too scary, it's way
too much to bite off. And then if you can
just set smaller goals and some days just have a
(39:19):
little win. For me. It might be that I've put
ten certificates for people that have done adventure into an
envelope and put stamps and i haven't even posted them yet.
But I've done something that I know needs to be
done and it's a fifteen minute job, but it can
sometimes take me two weeks to do it all months.
So the other one, I thought, maybe you would talk
more to exercise advice for anyone but a forty eight
(39:43):
year old mum fitting in exercise, making it a priority.
You know your advice around.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
That, well, I'd start by walking. Walking is amazing. It
doesn't have to be for ages. You could do it
three times a week, go for a thirty minute walk
three times a week, and you could do that for
four weeks and then move it up. You could also
start things. It's like, if you don't want to go
to the gym, you'll do like a YouTube workout. I
learned all of my lifting, everything that I learned was
(40:12):
through YouTube. So you can learn how to do anything
on YouTube. So you can learn how to do a
squad on YouTube, and you can do this at home.
You can do wall push ups at home. You don't
have to be able to one hundred percent. You don't
have to be able to do a floor push up
or even a knee push up. You can start on
the wall, then you gradually move down the wall, then
you gradually go down to the floor. You can do
(40:34):
five on the floor, then tomorrow you're going to do six.
Just every week, try and bump it up a little bit,
but with exercise as well. If you're not used to
having an exercise routine or you've never had one before,
I would suggest, like you just said before, start set
small goals. So don't say I'm going to lose twenty
(40:59):
kilos by the end of the year, like it's just unrealistic.
So just set very small goals week by week by week.
So this week, I'm going to do two walks, and
I'm going to do two days where I do twenty
squats and twenty warp push ups. Small goal next week,
I'm going to do this. There's this I.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
Used to give you of advice to set really small
targets and then be able to overachieve them. And what
I meant by that is when it comes to exercises,
people would say, I'm going to train five days a
week or six days a week. I'm going to cut
out sugar and fats, and I'm going They're going to
do all these things, and then if you miss Monday,
think I'm not really going to get my five or
six in. And if you miss Tuesday, well I'll start
next week. So I used to say to people, just
(41:38):
set a minimum, and your minimum needs to be two
days a week. As a minimum, I'm going to fit
two sessions in. So like Milit said, you're going to
do two walks and you're going to fit in two
days of doing some scots and push ups. They could
even be on the same days. Worst case scenario, you're
going to hit your minimum. Now most weeks you're going
to do three or four. You're going to overachieve because
I just can fit it in and I feel good
and eventually it becomes a discipline that becomes a habit.
(41:59):
So discipline comes first. You've got to make yourself do
some things for a little while, and then eventually becomes
a habit where it's just it's Monday. That's what I
do on a Monday morning. So that used to work
for me. Set low standards, that you set a low
bar that you can just step over, because the higher
the bar you set initially, the more likely life's going
to just rock the boat a little bit, and you're
(42:19):
going to I'll start on Tuesday, and I definitely fall
into that boat. If I wasn't doing adventures, I'd been
all sorts of sort of adventure keeps me moving. And
I come back from this Asie twen. I was so sore.
I've been that sort of ages. But the snow was
really thick and heavy, you know, and that just says,
all right, you need to train more when we get back.
And so I've made that commitment when I get back
from EBC. So the last one I thought for well being,
(42:41):
and I just wrote some notes around some of these things.
I'm not good at. Millie's very good at sleep, nutrition, hydration.
I've never met anyone that hydrates the way you do
you're nutrition, Like you're constantly drinking water, you're nutrition. You
know one, you're a good cook, which helps obviously, and
you know exactly what goes into your food. And I
(43:02):
know that that's a challenge for a lot of people.
For a lot of us find some small winds. And sleep.
I'm really poor at sleep. Really loves bed more than
she loves me or anything else.
Speaker 1 (43:12):
But Bed doesn't talk back.
Speaker 2 (43:16):
Doesn't give me out of doesnay just stay there. Yeah.
But sleep, nutrition, hydration are three things that can really
change people's worlds if they start to. For your well
being and the other side of his recovery, just general recovery.
Be as adults, even if you're listening or maybe especially
if you're listening to a show or watching a show
like The Building Better Humane Project, you think you're go
(43:37):
to be on all the time. You got to hashtag
the grind and the hustle and the goals and you
feel you felt this, I felt this. You feel guilty
having a day off, You feel guilty not doing anything.
Speaker 1 (43:46):
My guilt is a little bit different. But because being
a professional athlete.
Speaker 2 (43:50):
It's like, yeah, when we're in camp and Declan's gone, right,
this is the workouts, and we've not fit. So we're
doing the sprints and it was rainy, and it was
this and that and and really was sore and she
should have eaten first if she didn't. And after the
first eight you're like, I don't feel good. I don't
think i'll get through who you know, exped to do
thirty two of them and they're in blocks of eight.
And then it was like, so may be and me,
(44:10):
it's all right, let's just do one more set and
then we'll call it. Well, do that once in the afternoon,
and after that sets, you just like, I really should
do the rest of should I? So if you want
to do them, so we end up doing it more.
And then you said afterwards, I would have hated myself.
I would have been sad on me all day. But
that's necessary for the fight too, because if you go
into the fight and you know that you took some shortcuts,
(44:31):
my brain says, well, what if the other girl didn't
you know? And then what if we lose a close fight?
Then we go, oh, there's a few things I skipped,
whereas if you lose, we don't want to lose a fight.
But if you lose a fight and you can say
I did everything well, I can live with that a
little bit more than if I go well, the heap
of things I didn't do. So we don't want to
get into that situation. But for you listening for Amanda,
(44:52):
for anyone else you know, resilience, Like I say, you've
been through a lot already, and just give yourself that
respect and work on anti fagility, understanding. You get better
because of what you've been through. Your exercise has really
said strength, cardio, move walking. Even for us sometimes we
just like to go for a walk of a night
time to have a chat. And even the boys will
often come out on their scooters and so they get involved,
(45:14):
and you know, so they don't have to, but people
come along with you. And then with your well being,
just thinking about your sleep, your hydration, your recovery, your.
Speaker 1 (45:22):
Nutrition, exactly what you put into your body. You'll feel
so much better if you stop it in crap. And
I'm not saying that Amanda does well. Whoever doesn't, but
if you do, and a lot of it, you just
wake up and I've done it. I've done it where
I've come home from work many years ago has sunken
six beers and they had like a bloody I haven't
(45:43):
seen this peason, she's gone, she's gone in crap and
then you wake up feeling like shit and then that
sets the tone for your whole day, and around and
around we go.
Speaker 2 (45:56):
Two things to finish off on the first one is
that everything in our life comes onto this podcast in
some way, shape or form as a lesson for people
to learn learn from. And so even the positive, sorry,
the positives and the negatives, they all there's a lesson
in everything in our lives, your lives and our lives,
and so we're people that try and delve into that,
(46:17):
and we have not got perfect lives, but that gives
us a pretty good platform to come to you guys
with lessons and all that sort of stuff. So that's
the idea is for you to take something positive out
of this. So that's the first thing. And the second
one is that we will do an NNGL on link
because or Millywell on hers, because we do want to
hear your stories. They're absolutely anonymous, so you can tell
(46:39):
us whatever truths are you've had as a young woman
growing up or as a girl that you know, and
we might share those on a separate episode, because I
think when we hear each when men hear these stories
and when other women hear these stories, it normalizes the
experiences people are going through, and then we can say, okay,
well this is a real thing, because as a man,
(47:00):
it can be easy for you to go I would
never do that. I've never treated my part of that.
I wouldn't treat my daughters like that. That then makes
your sumption what no men would? Well, they do, they do.
Speaker 1 (47:09):
So it's just and the fact that honestly, most girls
and most women that I know have had the same
experience shows that it's more common than we think. And
you know, when and then when you read in the
comments like other men defending other men's men's actions, it's
just like, shut up, like these things do happen and
(47:32):
it's not our fault because we were a child.
Speaker 2 (47:34):
And if you don't think it happens, go and watch
and read some of grace tame stuff.
Speaker 1 (47:38):
Oh maybe you did it. That's why you're defending people.
Do you know that?
Speaker 2 (47:42):
Mastly worried when I see judges give really low senses
to pedophiles, So I think you know, this is just
a general comments. I don't want the legal system to
come after a letter in front of a.
Speaker 1 (47:52):
Judge, get a letter, but you.
Speaker 2 (47:54):
Know, I just think, are you that way inclined? And
is that why you've given such a light sentence, because
surely if that was your child that that happened to,
you'd want a pretty harsh sentence on someone, you know,
maybe harsh and what the legal system allows you to give,
So to give them a light sentence, I just don't understand.
So it is these are heavy topics, but their life
topics and the things that we want to talk about,
(48:14):
so you know, I keep an eye for that. ENNGI
on link. I just want to say, on a personal level,
thank you for the support that we do get on
the show. We get tons of it, and we do
appreciate heeps. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (48:24):
I've had heaps of messages since we started Mayhem Mondays
with people saying they're really enjoying it and they get
stuff out of it, and thank.
Speaker 2 (48:32):
You people that I should I should have taken note
of these. I've had people that messaged me people actually know,
and then people that just follow the show. He said,
I've followed this for years, because we're ten years next year,
this podcast. I've followed this for years and now that
Mayhem Monday is my favorite part of the show. And
I don't know how I feel about that ten years
of my work, but I agree I enjoy these as well.
(48:53):
So I want to thank you, and just as a
finish off, to remind you, we would love to take
you on an adventure. I really would love to take
on an adventure. And even look at our youth camps
and I want to get back into personal development camps.
We've met good people. We've got some great clients who
have become friends, who came on personal development camps for
their businesses, for themselves personally. So Adventure Professionals dot com DOTU,
(49:15):
the Building Out of Humans Project dot com dot AU,
just reach out and connect with us because next year
we're ramping all of that stuff up astronomically.
Speaker 1 (49:22):
Yes we are.
Speaker 2 (49:23):
Let's go
Appodchae Production.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Hey, team gnaes A here walking back to the building,
Better Humans Project podcast. It is Mayhem Monday, which means,
as always we have Mayhem in the building.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Good morning, hello or good night whenever you're listening to this.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Yes, whenever you are listening. Now, a couple of things. Quickly,
we're going to do lessons lamp. But what I've been
doing recently on the audio version of the podcast, and
for those unaware, that's every Wednesday and Friday, I just
do an audio personal development sort of, you know, five
to ten minutes. But I've been mentioning that the podcast
is actually brought to people by Adventure Professionals. Of course,
it's not free obviously to create podcasts, and we're helped
(01:08):
out by pod Shape, but also over the ten years,
realistically it's been our own businesses that have paid for
us to put the podcast together. So I would always
invite people to look up Adventure Professionals dot com dot au. Literally,
what we believe is that adventure is the best personal
development model, so it ties into what we do. I've
(01:29):
just returned from Oussie ten and then I'm heading over
to Everspace Camp in a couple of days times. So
literally this is what we do. And so yeah, get
over to Adventure Professionals dot com dot are you to
check out what we do. Next year, it is my
intention to take Millie to She'll come back to Pang
obviously because we go there a lot. But Africa. I
want to take you to Africa to do man Klima.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Joe have to go to Africa and I want to.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Take you to Nepal. And she's already done the Yukon.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Shorts, so we could talk about Africa Africa.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
Yes, she just likes them because she's an animal.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
But I'm my favorite animal.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
That being a favorite. That aside, if you want to
come to Kilimanjaro, which is in September next year, or
if you want to come to every Space camp in November,
then obviously really end I'll be on that. We'd love
to have you come along.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Come along.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
So we're going to talk very quickly about lessons learned.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
My lesson learned was this morning. Yes, and you taught
me that a Taswisian is someone from Tasmania. Yes, because
we bumped into a shout out to the Tezusian gypsy.
His name is Tobias he's a trainer out of east
Side Boxing and we were trying to remember his social
name and then I was like, isn't it Twei. He's
(02:42):
like no, I think it's Taswisian. And I'm like, what's
a Tazwisian. And you taught me that it's someone from
Tasmania and I was like, stop it.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
She did not believe it.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
I know, it's like you're making stuff up, but it is.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
I've never heard of that. I said, that's a well
known thing in Teswisian.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
I don't know well known, so I.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Said, Google it's it's a Tesweisian. I said, someone who's
from Tasmania.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
A native of Tasmania in Australia.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
I don't know. That's a thing.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Not a very exciting lesson learned, but that's what I learned.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
My lessons learned. And we're not talking negativities on the
podcast anymore, but lessons learned much. You can't change people's
opinions if they're locked in on something. So we had
an interaction recently on social media where a lady was
just going in on us a bit who we've never met,
known nothing about, who had an issue and interestingly, something
she wrote throughout all of those interactions of having a
(03:30):
go at us and other people she didn't know, was
that a photo of you and I together was triggering
and therefore I should have And it was just a
photo of us sitting at dinner, but she said it
was triggering for people, and therefore you should keep your
profile on private because that was her excuse for commenting
on it. And I'm like, my opinion, and I think
(03:50):
yours would be the same, is that if you know
something is triggering for you, you can't expect the world to
not do that thing that triggers you.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
It's not the world's job to make you.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Comfortable if you know and you can identify.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
And that kills me that that type of thinking victimhood, Oh,
it honestly does. It's like, it's not everybody else around
us job to make you your safe little bubble. You
have to figure it out.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Like, yeah, so if you can identify that you find
something triggering, then go and sort that out. The onus
is on you, That's and what I've learned is people
don't do that. And she just doubled down, this lady
on stuff and just kept going on and on and
a big issue, which is something we're going to talk
about today anyway, was our age gap, the age gap
between millions.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
She went like, doesn't know us personal? She well, she did.
She had to go at my hands. Well, some guy
had to go at my hands, and she like, very
happily agreed. I was like, why I got beef with
my hands? Like Jesus lethal weapons anyway? Actually register, Yeah, And.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
She started having to go with lots of things.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Yeah, she was having to go like I wasn't wearing
a bra and the top I was wearing is from
a shop called the Naked Wardrobe, so like, you're gonna
see a bit of naple. Well, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
We're not, but we're at a really nice five star restaurant.
Before going to an ACE boxing event a while back,
the caption that was written was just about being present
enough to love the people that love you in life.
That's what I wrote because I had a couple of
mates message mean and said, how could anyone have a
problem when that you read that caption and you see
that photo where you's genuinely look happy.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
And she went as far as to call me a
gold digger, And I hate that perception that an older
guy and a younger woman equals money or after money.
I've always made my own money to looking for the gold.
Some my bab I still got to go to work
every day and.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Stuff said some guy wrote gold digger, lol, And I
just wrote back and said, I'm not, but if she's
going to give me the gold, I'll take it.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Yeah. But she was saying by her that was pretty
funny by her O'Brien in her next allowance.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
In the next allowance, oh my god that a friend
of mine shout out to Jen Heavington who's done Aussie
ten kakoda and stuff, and she's a paramedic cup on
the Sunny coast Jim Brisbane. Now we passed her in
Renkly fun day when we're driving. Yah, that's gen So
general back to this woman and said you should be
more like a bra, be supportive and up fifteen That
(06:15):
was my favorite comment.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Classic.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
So I guess that ties into something we've wanted to
talk about for some period of time, which is as girls,
not as young women. And let's be really honest, there's
fourteen fifteen, sixteen year old girls that older men will
convince you're very mature for your age and you're a
young woman or you're.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Not child, they are still a child. And like I think,
you know, as someone who is dating someone where like
you're older than me, that's obvious, it's true, it's factual,
blah blah blah blah. But I'm an adult. I'm thirty
two years old. I was thirty years old when we met.
I'm not a fourteen year old girl. It's completely different.
(06:55):
And I've definitely been in situations where and I can
honestly say that most women that I've spoken to now
look back on their teenage lives and go, yeah, there
was a point in my life where, you know, there
was a twenty five year old male who was hanging
out with me, and I thought like, oh my god,
I'm so cool because this older guy thinks that I'm cool.
(07:16):
But in actual fact, he's a predator, because when you
look back on it, I was fourteen. You have no
business dating a fourteen year old as an adult male
which is twenty five, you know what I mean. When
you both grow up and you're both consenting adults, then
it's different. But when this person is a child, and
when you're an adult and you start like you know,
(07:38):
and then I saw this other thing. You know, men
won't go and hang out with a You're not going
to catch a twenty five year old male going to
hang out with a fourteen year old kid male also
because he's too immature. But when it comes to girls, Oh,
you're so mature for your age, or you're so cool,
but in actual fact you're a predator, you know what
I mean?
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Because I think they can calm the girls into having
sex obviously, and the attraction being what they can control
someone fully.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Yeah, I don't know as.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
A boy at school, like I didn't stay at school
past year nine, but as a fourteen fifteen year old boy,
you back in those days, even you couldn't date a
girl your own age because she was getting picked up
by blokes in cars and you were on your pushbike,
which it was not very cool, and fourteen fifteen year
old girls they just didn't view you as cool because
of that. They're getting picked up by PA players eighteen
(08:31):
nineteen and sometimes up to people in their twenties, and
you didn't really understand that except that you didn't have
those things yet to offer them. But realistically that was men,
you know, sitting outside schools waiting to pick up teenage
girls and year nine and.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Ten, Yeah, like what was I doing? But I was
a child And that's the very thing. It's like, you're
a child. You don't have the type of critical thinking,
you don't have the life experience. You just think, whatever's cool,
I'm going to do it.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
If you can go back to that fourteen in your
old self, do you do you remember feeling like, oh, validated, like, oh,
they see me as an adult. They think I'm attractive,
did you, Because that's what they're trying to do, right,
they're trying to make you.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
Yeah, for sure, Yeah, yeah, one hundred percent. I guess so.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Yeah, But then the adult version of you, And this
is where this podcast episode comes from, I guess is
we were sitting around talking once and you were a
little bit upset and you said, it upsets me to
think now that I look back at that these men
prayed on me and my friends as fourteen, fifteen, sixteen
year olds, whereas at the time you were willing participants
(09:40):
because you don't know any better. And that's their argument
where she wanted to yeah, but she doesn't know any better.
But it does upset you when you get older.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
Well, it does because you can only look back in
hindsight and you can't change anything. But like, I guess
that's it. You can't change it. So what do you do? Yeah,
I don't know, it's just kind of like you feel. Oh,
I don't know what the word is, gross good.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Of Yeah, but we now look at Sammy turns he
turns thirteen, you know soon that's his next birthday, So
he's coming to that age where if that was a girl,
we'd be going because founding our boy doesn't have a
twenty five ye old woman chasing after typically does happen,
but it's rare very and I've read a few cases.
(10:29):
We're like a school teacher or something that's very rare.
But in this case, you know, if he was a
thirteen or fourteen year old girl, based off your life experiences,
you're now watching that. And then this is where parents
have disconnect because we know what we know. And so
when a twenty year old boy turns up or older
and we go no, and then your daughter says, oh,
(10:52):
you're overreacting. You know, we're just friends or he just
likes me, just sees this in me. But we know
what's actually happening.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
But the other thing about it is that those men
knew what was happening to because they wouldn't pick you
up at your house. They didn't want to meet your dad.
Do you know what I mean? That meet you at
the bloody ye.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Meet me to tell anyone.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Yeah, So it's like you knew for fulwell what you
were doing. You knew that it was wrong. You know
that you're a predator.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
And some of them did it to more than one girl, obviously,
people that were on the fringe of your.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
It's kind of pathetic really, It's like it's kind of
it's just like your anyway.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
But there's people that did it more than once. And
this is what I wonder, do they ever sit back
and fear that it's going to come back and bite them?
You know? I just read a case interestingly in the
Career Male in Brisbane here where a lady who was
dating her school teacher started when she was a child,
(11:53):
basically in high school, and then he started sharing all
this attention on her. She was some sort of athlete
like a swimmer or something, and he would always give
her extra attention and then very quickly it turned to
you know, sexual advances. They ended up getting married and
having children. And then when they've separated, like after ten years,
she's kind of really unpacked a lot of what that
(12:15):
put her through and talked about it, and she started
programs to try and help girls in school identify what
is happening because he ostracized her away from family and friends.
He showered attention on her. It was a good looking
young man, so he was popular with teenage girls, which
obviously is his justification. But then what I read was
the comments and all the men getting on there and going, now,
(12:36):
she's assaulting, now that they've had a divorce, she's unhappy,
not saying, well, hang on, she was fourteen, he was
twenty five year old school teacher in a position of power,
so that and they're saying yeah, but once the arguments
when I read in my line there were hundreds of them,
they end up turning the comments off. Was oh yeah,
but by the time she's nineteen or twenty or had
a child, she's old enough then to know, so why
didn't she do it? Then?
Speaker 1 (12:57):
No, it's so much harder by then, And since seeing
that you're going from fourteen, you know, their adults, people
who start relationships in their adulthood and can't seem to
find their way to get out of them. In your adulthood,
this is still a child at nineteen, you're kind of still.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
A child, especially if you've been with someone since fourteen, Yeah,
who was twenty five at the time, so you've transitioned.
So four or five years later, you know, you're nineteen,
he's thirty, so he's still got that position of power.
So you know, I was just I'm always interested.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
In It's so different when you meet in your twenties
or your thirties or and you're both adults at that time,
regardless of the age gap, as opposed to I met
you and I was fourteen, you were twenty whatever.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
It's tricky for us to have that conversation because of
our age gap, and there are people that would absolutely
be triggered by that, you know, which is not our
We don't worry about that because it's not our position
to worry about. But I understand that it can seem
ironic that we have this conversation. But again, the age
gap is very different. When you're a mother with two
children thirty years of age, you're not being conned into anything,
(14:13):
and I'm not wealthy, so there's no gold digging, so like,
in fact, if we look at what we've earned over
the time we've been together, it'd be fifty to fifty
sixty forty someone's way, maybe even your way. I don't know.
Like we in our business, we have some really good
moments and then we have some moments when we don't.
And the whole time that we've been together, I've not
gone and got a job, but you've had two or
(14:33):
three jobs. And that's why people don't see that, because
we're not people that post every job online, Oh here's
going to work again.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
They just automatically assume that it must be a young,
dumb girl just looking for some money. I could have
done that ages ago, do you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
I remember we were talking about we were saying that
years ago she dated a guy that are ferrari, and
it was like, if that was the goal, well I
already did that, and I could have just stayed there.
And I know that that person had reached out to you,
not since we've been together, but sometime after the relationship,
still wanting to be with you, So you could have
definitely done that, but it wasn't for you. So if
(15:09):
that's how people believe the end goal, that's crazy. But
also from that point of view, and I'll come back
to the kids saying, but from that point of view,
for women to attack other women and just make that assumption,
like I get why men do it because they have
such simple brains and they're having a go at this
school teacher situation I talked about before, and they naturally
think that, well, you couldn't be attracted to me or
(15:29):
someone older than you. It's got to be that they've
got money, which I don't. You know, we're fine, but
it's not like we're rolling around in sports cards and stuff.
But it challenged me when women think that, particularly that
you have this belief of another woman that she for
whatever triggers in you, whether it's her looks or if
for some reason you're triggered enough to think, well, she's
(15:50):
just out trying to make money. She's a crazily bitter
attitude than we have. And the other thing, if I
go back to the lessons learn, is we all do this.
Are you okay day? And you know this is my
number reach out. I prefer to speak to you, then
to speak at your few unal. All this sort of
absolute bullshit that people put out there and the same people.
They're out attacking people online who they don't even know.
(16:12):
But why do you need that dramma in your life?
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Yeah, very odd, But anyway.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
How do how do you help young girls as women? Look,
if we had a daughter that was Sammy's age, that
would be very triggering for you right now as far
as every male that come in, because you know their
intention and every male, she's going to go, Mum, you're
over reacting. And so for the mums out there, I guess,
and the dads, but I think dads are really protective
(16:40):
of their daughters because they know what they were like
when they were young men. But for mums, they've experienced
the negative side of it as well.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
Because I've spoken, how can I be way more strict
if I had a daughter than on the boys? And
I know that they might not be unfair, but it's
just how I would be. Like, the boys have a
certain level of freedom that I probably wouldn't give my daughter.
So the boys can are free to go on right
around the neighborhood and go fishing, and they can be
gone all day. They're twelve and and they go out
with a big group of friends and they go out
(17:08):
with their maids and they go to their skate park
and they have a normal childhood. I guess like the
ones that we all had. We'd go and hang out
in the street, play basketball, play footy. If I had
a daughter, I just don't feel like i'd give her that,
and she'd probably hate me for it.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
But sadly, they do get preyed upon. Yeah, and even
as a twelve year old, you might be getting preyed
upon only by a sixteen year old.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
I remember, honestly from as young as eight years old.
From eight years old, that's probably my earliest memory of
guys creeping on me. Adult males like looking at me
in you know, like away or and then as soon
as I started getting in.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Way was yeah or did it just feel uncomfortable?
Speaker 1 (17:49):
It just felt uncomfortable. Yeah, it just really felt uncomfortable. Yeah,
that's stare. And they'd like nudge each other eight like
your gross and.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
What about when you start developing?
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Well then they sort of you'll see them glance at
you tubes and things like that, and it's saying.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
How old are you now? At ten eleven? Twelve?
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Yeah, about twelve? Yeah, and they do the old and
you can like it's like, we can see where your
eyes go. Do you think you're so sly about it?
Like it's so stupid. They were like look and they'll
be like like I'll do it to the camera and
hopefully you can see it. But like that's my booms
rang and they were just and they were just we
(18:33):
can see, we can see now, we could see back then.
We're not dumb, You're not sly about it. It's disgusting,
Like you know, they're a child.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
So do young girls were in your experience, do you
start to change the way you dress at that age
because it gets uncomfortable or do you because that's the
really hard thing. You should be free And Interestingly, in
this conversation we had with this lady online, she wasn't
happy at the top you wearing on the fact that
weren't wearing a brow, so that's still a perception that
you've had people looking at her. Basically, her opinion was,
(19:08):
you want people to look at.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
You at that age. Once you start getting over the
boys have cootie stuff, then you start to dress hay,
you like, because you want male attention wherever it comes from.
Most like, I don't know, it's just a natural thing,
you know, you start to explore that sort of side
to you and then yeah, and then if it's unwanted
(19:32):
male attention, it's disgusting. But then if it's wanted male attention,
then it's like, oh my god.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Yeah, so you have to dress. We don't have to,
but you're dressing for that way. And then in the
un wanted stuff, you just don't lie. Yeah, it's a
part of trying.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
To but that's when you're young. And then you grow up.
Well me personally can't speak for all women, but then
you sort of grow up into thinking, I'm going to
wear what I want because I think that I look
good in it. And then I started doing gym and
started training hard and like, of course I want to
show my shoulders, like I've worked really hard for those shoulders,
(20:04):
things like that. And then you grow into an age
well me, where like you sometimes you go out looking
like this, Sometimes you go out in your pajamas sometimes,
like I don't really it doesn't really bother me who
is looking or who is just how you feel about
that exactly. Yeah, But as a teenage girl, when you're
(20:26):
trying to get attention from whoever you want to get attention,
from it's different.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
Yeah, so what about people who would say, now you're
thirty two and you're fit. Obviously, when I think you
earn the right to look how you look, you know
none of us. But there's some genetics obviously to people.
But also you can work hard. There will be steal
people that have the opinion that you dress like even
in sports togither like that because you want attention. There'll
be women that think.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
That, yeah, I'm aware of that.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
Isn't that crazy?
Speaker 1 (20:54):
It's it's wild.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Yeah, is that on them or you?
Speaker 1 (20:58):
It's on them obviously. Yeah, you can't assume I dress
how I dress for what that's not.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
Because then if you say, well I don't want unwanted
male attention or people looking at me, then they go, well,
we didn' don't dress like that. But that's not that
attitude that women get raped because in the old ninetiesn't
that the pleasurable What were you're wearing? It's irrelevant relevant
what I was wearing. He didn't have the right to
sexually assault me. Let's just assume that. So, yeah, it's
not a far line between those two. If people go, well,
(21:29):
you're getting attention because you're dressing a certain way.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Then if I like to try and take accountability, say,
if you are dressing like that, that would you would
assume that everyone's going to look at me, and then
you'd be annoyed when people didn't. That's not why I
dress that way. I dressed that way because that's what
I want to check on today.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
So obviously you would be aware that being a fit
woman that other women do get jealous. Right, that's a thing.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
I thought, what was too old for it? But clearly not.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
Clearly not because that woman was looking much older than
you and she was still unhappy about it. I'm not
being really, I'm just saying she wasn't young like I
would suggest based off her profile picture. Fifties, So you're
not a baby like I'm in my fifties. But you're
not a baby in your fifties. You can make your
own decisions. And her decision was to try and tear
someone down. She doesn't know. Little do you know? You're
(22:19):
not that easy to tear down when it comes. But
you're aware that it can be triggering to women. And
then on the other side of the coin, it can
be empowering to women because we've got friends, clients, sponsors,
who have said to you, hell areea, I'm jealous when
I look at you, and but good on you. We've
got a message which we will read in a moment
(22:40):
from We've had lots of messages from people who just
read all of those interactions, and women as well, saying
I'm actually really inspired by you. So if that inspiration
that they feel is on them, well so's the people
who are being triggered by it. That's there's something in you.
And that was my message to that lady who was
(23:01):
triggered as in her words, that it's triggering and you
should have a private profile so that people don't put
on one in comments no, or you could just not comment.
That's absolutely an options for the vailb.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
That's just the same as if you see a figure
walking down the street and she's got tiny little booty
shots on and a top on. You know, don't look
if you don't like that, or if you think that
she shouldn't be wearing that for your own weirdass reason.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
Just look straight, Oh my favorite, I would never wear that.
Don't have to ask, you wear whatever you want exactly.
So it's just a really interesting perspective and I think
it highlights what's going on in people if you're inspired
by someone else who's succeeding. Because this isn't just about
a physical look, let's be really clear. People do this,
and I know men definitely do this when someone in
(23:47):
their circle is succeeding. They feel challenged by that and
they want to just drag them down a little bit,
even at kids level. We've heard the kids now someone
so they played really well in footing whether you know it,
didn't need this wrong, It's just a natural thing that
because it's natural.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
You get understand it when it's a child, because children
are still trying to their place in the world. They're
trying to see who's better. They're very competitive natural also.
Speaker 2 (24:09):
And grown men do it.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
I know that. So it's crazy to me that grown
people can act like children.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
When business goes. Oh he just his dad had a
bit of money, or he had this happened, or he
had that happened, or some things when he's way maybe,
but I reckon he worked hard because sheeps.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
People have daddy's money and they still don't do anything
with it.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
And your fitness in your body is I know for
a fact, how hard you work. People are out there
on a Monday morning at five point thirty do one
hundred and thirty five meters sprints by thirty two reps
that we were doing the other day or that you
were doing, and they were hard, and so people don't
see that side of the work, but more than happy
to bag out the result. How dare you show off
(24:48):
the result? You know? And it's not even showing off
the result. I'm an athlete and this is how I
want to address.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
So yeah, like that photo and that's the other thing
is like, and you probably see it on socials all
the time now, but people are too comfortable on social
media saying what they want on the internet. There's no
way this lady would have come up to us at
Stiltsteining where we took that photo and looked at you
in the eye and said you should pick someone your
own age and you should wear a bra. There's no like.
(25:16):
I'll put all my money on the fact that there's
no way that she would have had the balls to
come and say that to our face.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
That hit. That's a good point. So when people are
doing negativity like that, it's rare, slash, almost unheard of
to say that to your face. So therefore, in my opinion.
You know it's not the right thing to do, because
the opposite is true for positives. When there's positives, people
will come up and say, I find you really inspirational,
or I wish I had People don't say I wish
(25:46):
women come up to us and go never say I
wish I had that body to you. They say I
wish I worked as hard as you, I wish I
had the dedication, I wish it. They understand what it took.
And so it's interesting that for positives we're happy to
go and say them to people, but negatives were not,
which means you know they're the wrong thing. Yeah, you know,
it's shitty to have that attitude. And for me, the
whole point of any of that is what's worse is
(26:07):
we could be you. We could be walking around trying
to tear down people that makes us feel a certain way.
And for people listening to this show you're into personal development.
My advice would be that if you are triggered by
something and we all are work on it, it's your
job to work on it. It's not anyone else's job
to wear it. The world doesn't mold around you, and
if it does, you're gonna end up in some little
(26:28):
safe room somewhere where the world doesn't bump into you,
because that's what's going to happen. So that's my Well,
the we.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
Went off like a little bit, but the whole point
of bringing up her comment was because she was talking
about the age gap, and we wanted to segree it
into the fact that, you know, it's completely different because
we're two consenting adults, but I actually know what it's
like to be a child being prayed on by an
older adult male when I'm a child, So that's just
(26:58):
two completely different things.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Do you regret decisions from when you're a child.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
I can't regret anything. It's hard to regret anything because
like everything, do.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
You wish you there's never told me I really wish
I hadn't done that with that person, or do you
just let me.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
There's a few guys like I was, what was I thinking?
Speaker 2 (27:24):
I guess we've all had that. Yeah, I know I'm
about more as a child where you feel like I
genuinely felt like I was taking advantage of Yeah, and
I really wish someone had help me or put the
hand up on my p group, which I know is
they don't know any better.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
Because though everyone was doing the same thing sort of thing,
it was just like we were we were all with
these bunch of older guys and we thought we were
in and they'd come pick us up and we'd go
out and smoke cigarettes and drink in the back of
the car. And it looks part well, you look back
on it, and there were fun parts of it, because
you're a teenager who just wants to go and have fun.
Girls just want to have fun. But then you look
(28:01):
at the people that you were hanging out with and
you're like.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
So he's a eson with the thirty year old version
of you hanging out with that same guy that the
fourteen year old was hanging out with. Do you know
what I mean? Like the thirty year old version of you.
If that twenty four year old came up to your
twenty five year old and the forteen yard thinks, why
he's cool, he's giving me all these things, I wonder
the thirty old version of you look at him and go,
you seem like a bit of a grub.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
Yeah, he's just like there were scrubs, Like we're sitting
in the back of this beat up car, like.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
But it's a car.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
Yeah, cigarettes, drink and Sierra tequila.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
I don't know what that is.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
It's disgusting. And someone with the hat it was cheap
as and like they just trying to get.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
Young girls drunk and give them all the things that
they want. So they want and the thirty odd version
of you is like, na, bro, you're going to come
more to the table than that.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
Yeah, we're going to go to stilts dining or something.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
It's interesting in life. I'll come back to Sani. But
it's interesting in life that we they say that we
learn all the lessons after we need them, so you
get the experience first and then you learn the lesson.
And for some people they'd never apply the lesson, I guess.
And so you get smarter as you get older. And
obviously you had children quite young that matures you pretty quickly,
(29:12):
when you like it or not. We should talk about
youth development work soon because we've made so much in RAGE.
We've had some really good meetings in the last week.
And what I loved about the meetings we had this
week is there were women in that room that have
been through some pretty hectic stuff at fourteen, fifteen, sixteen
years of age, who are now older and changing young
(29:32):
people's lives, which is pretty impressive, amazing. And then on
the other side of that, you've got people sitting online
banging out younger women, and I think, what are you
doing for the world, Because our job is to try
and make ourselves the best version of ourselves to leave
the world in a better place. Whatever our small circle
of the world is. And I'm under no illusion our
circle or our influence is very tiny you and I
(29:55):
compared to you know, we're not Gandhi or Mother Teresa
or you know, but we have an impact. And so
then how do you part said on and if you're
not passing that on? And the people that we met
in that room were just amazing with what they do.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
But I work currently with teenage girls now, and you know,
they've been in similar situations, and I won't delve into
that situation at all, but I will say, like, you know,
I can speak from my experience and I can give
them advice based on my experience and the mistakes that
I made and the things that and you know, they
won't listen to you, but they'll have it in the
(30:32):
back of their head.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
So but at least maybe in five or ten years time,
they think someone did try it. Yeah, you know, you
might not have had that. I don't know, but someone
at least a bit older than me who'd been down
the road said, you know, you really should reconsider that relationship,
that those decisions.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
Yeah, and you can only hope that when they get
older they look back like we are even earlier than
I did and go, oh, that wasn't right.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
And you know, so can we read one of the
mess we're going to message We'll just say from Amanda And.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
It was in response to.
Speaker 3 (31:08):
The shade that we got from Oh Love talking about
no bras and my hands and all the rest that
are things she said.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
She's remembers. She wrote anything, you could only hope to
be as attractive.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
As me, but once someone shows you an ugly personality.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Everything is hideous to me. You could be a model,
and as soon as you show that personality, you are
a zero.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
And it was really really ugly.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
It was disgusting. It was like vile, like.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
We're fortunate enough to then you know, yesterday I sit
in the room of amazing people doing amazing things for
young people. So we're people who check in on us.
We're good because we're surrounded by very good people and
we get to have interactions with the people in that
room were so passionate as were we, and so you know,
at the end of the day, someone on the internet
doesn't worry.
Speaker 1 (31:58):
So and the thing that I love about it is
and I always go back to the fifteen year old me,
pretty aggressive, pretty, I'll say what I want to. I'll
probably hit you in the face. And that was me
when I was a teenager. I had a very, very
striking temper. It can still show up every now and again,
but I learned how to control it a little bit
more than I did when I was fifteen, and fifteen
(32:18):
year old me would have torn her to shreds online
and I would have said things like, oh, you're gonna
make fun of my hands, like let me, I'll show
them to you closer, like show me where you are,
you know. And I like to look back on that
on my life and be like, I'm not there anymore.
I'm good, Like I haven't even looked at my hands
since you wrought up my hands. I'm sweet. These hands
(32:39):
are going to be throwing November twenty nine and they're
going to be winning an Australian title.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
So they you've thrown Superman and White title.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
All right, So this is from Amanda, and thank you
so much for this message. She said. Really, I've been
following Glenn for a while now and now I'm now
loving watching your journey too. You're both such inspiring people
doing great things. It's pretty shit that there's people in
the world like those making the bullshit comments on your posts.
Sad thing is they could learn the most from the
two of you. Please keep on posting, as you're helping
(33:08):
so many, including me. I'm a forty eight year old
mother and needs to focus on resilience, exercise, and well being.
Your posts motivate me to do that. So thank you
for being you and sharing who you are. And I
did reply because I do and if I have missed
you in my message requests, I try not to. I
(33:29):
do try and check those as well, because I like
to reply to the positive ones as much as we do,
or if not more than we do to the negative ones,
because I want to give that my attention to those
things rather than always applying to negative stuff. So that
was her message, and it was really wack. You want
to No, No, I can rein. I just said, Hi, Amanda,
(33:51):
thank you so much for this message. I can't tell
you how much it means to me to read this.
Thank you for taking the time to send this beautiful,
positive message. We need more people in this world who
spread positivity and love.
Speaker 2 (34:02):
And that's probably a good thing to holight this whole
podcast around is whether we're talking about what happens to
young girls. We just need to be a safe face
and a reflect positivity and love for them and then
for when we get older in life. Unfortunately, this woman
in commedy, you've got your that's your responsibility. But we've
got a lot of good people, and so.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
I reckon, I'm going to put an NGL link when
we post this or get clips of this episode, and
people girls can anonymously, women can anonymously give their stories
of their experience when they were a younger man.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
That could be a teenager confronting.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
It, could be confronting, trigger up on it. Good men
need to hear. Men need to be better. And they
say not all men, but you know, actually no, but
it is not all men. But it's a lot I said.
Speaker 2 (34:55):
But again, yeah, I say, not all men are predators,
but I can't remember the exact quote.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
But not all men, but it's always a men.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
All the girls that have been prayed upon are prayed
upon by men typically, So yeah, I mean it's we
just whether we like that conversation as men or not,
we have to face that conversation through Brocamp. We want
young men to be better through Ala Warriors, we want
young girls to be stronger, and so we're relaunching those programs.
(35:25):
So please, we get a lot of people asking about
our youth programs. They're coming back out in January. We've
got some private ones coming up. We're doing some school groups,
We're doing all sorts of stuff. But keep your app
because we will have the opportunity to surround your children
with really strong role models, not just us too, but
other role models as well. I thought to answer because
(35:46):
a man had talked about resilience, well being and health,
and as a forty eight year old mother, it takes
a lot to reach out and mention that stuff to
people when you're having challenges, and I know through our
channels they are designed to be a little space of
positivity inspiration in the world. We're not trying to trigger people,
(36:06):
but we do want people to understand that you are
in control of your own life. You get to changings
because even when our responsor neg is I initially try
and give a little bit of nice advice and then
if they keep going down a road, I'll defend myself.
But mostly we want this to be positive. So if
you follow our socials, learn from the journeys. We're not
(36:26):
saying we're gurus, not by any streets of the imagination.
But we're having a crackit life and a lot of
people are not in the arena. They're not having a
crackt life, and we want people to be in the arena,
and that's who we surround ourselves with. People that take action,
people that have a goal or a dream, or just
willing to try something. So I wrote a few notes,
Amanda for you to address those things. Resilience first. So resilience,
(36:50):
for people that don't understand, is your capacity to bounce
back from anything that happens to you. And I love resilience,
but there's a thing stronger than that, which is called
anti fragility, and it's a psychological concept that you don't
just bounce back into shape, you become better because of
what you've been through. So you think about you talking
about not regretting things, and I do enjoy that. I've
(37:11):
used the word regret in the past, and I don't
like it because I don't agree with it, because I
can't change it. So regret is a poor word. But
would I make different decisions in my life, absolutely, of course.
But the anti fagility angle is well because of the
things you went through, no matter how bad they were
for you, for example, as a young woman, as a
twelve year old, as a fourteen years of sixteen years,
(37:31):
an eighteen year old, and so on, that's made you
into the woman you are today. You're stronger because of
those things, whereas some people are just resilient, which means
they just bounce back into shape, and some people are
absolutely dented and triggered by everything, which means you're still
controlled by the thing that happened to you many many
years after it happened. And I'm not saying that it's
(37:52):
not justified, but it's not helpful. So I just wrote
some notes around resilience that I thought might be helpful,
and this is what I wrote for Amanda and anyone
else listening. The first one is you've already built resilience
through parenting, work, life, so own that strength. Understand that, hey,
I've been through some stuff, and at forty eight in
a man's case, at fifty three in my case, at
(38:12):
whatever age you are listening or watching this, you've already
been through some stuff. And so the fact that you're
still here means you've gotten through everything that life has
thrown at you. And that's a pretty powerful understanding to
have when it comes to your resilience. The other one
that I write around resilience is or two. Remember that
motivation fades and discipline and routines are what keep you
moving forward. So when you get stuck, build routines, build discipline.
(38:36):
I know Millly's happy place is the gym, but it's
also her therapy place, which he doesn't feel good. If
we've ever had a fight, you will often just go
to the gym. That's her answer to a lot of
things because she can This is me talking for you,
but you can let energy out, you can let frustration out,
good and bad energy, and so on. So that's a
discipline that's a routine. It doesn't it's not like, oh,
(38:58):
we've had an argument or something's gone wrong today, so
I'm just going to stay in bed for the day. Like,
even if we do that, you still train twice in between,
stay in bed for the day or whatever. So that's
discipline and routine. And the third one I was just
going to say around resilience is just set micro goals,
because sometimes big goals are way too scary, it's way
too much to bite off. And then if you can
just set smaller goals and some days just have a
(39:19):
little win. For me. It might be that I've put
ten certificates for people that have done adventure into an
envelope and put stamps and i haven't even posted them yet.
But I've done something that I know needs to be
done and it's a fifteen minute job, but it can
sometimes take me two weeks to do it all months.
So the other one, I thought, maybe you would talk
more to exercise advice for anyone but a forty eight
(39:43):
year old mum fitting in exercise, making it a priority.
You know your advice around.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
That, well, I'd start by walking. Walking is amazing. It
doesn't have to be for ages. You could do it
three times a week, go for a thirty minute walk
three times a week, and you could do that for
four weeks and then move it up. You could also
start things. It's like, if you don't want to go
to the gym, you'll do like a YouTube workout. I
learned all of my lifting, everything that I learned was
(40:12):
through YouTube. So you can learn how to do anything
on YouTube. So you can learn how to do a
squad on YouTube, and you can do this at home.
You can do wall push ups at home. You don't
have to be able to one hundred percent. You don't
have to be able to do a floor push up
or even a knee push up. You can start on
the wall, then you gradually move down the wall, then
you gradually go down to the floor. You can do
(40:34):
five on the floor, then tomorrow you're going to do six.
Just every week, try and bump it up a little bit,
but with exercise as well. If you're not used to
having an exercise routine or you've never had one before,
I would suggest, like you just said before, start set
small goals. So don't say I'm going to lose twenty
(40:59):
kilos by the end of the year, like it's just unrealistic.
So just set very small goals week by week by week.
So this week, I'm going to do two walks, and
I'm going to do two days where I do twenty
squats and twenty warp push ups. Small goal next week,
I'm going to do this. There's this I.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
Used to give you of advice to set really small
targets and then be able to overachieve them. And what
I meant by that is when it comes to exercises,
people would say, I'm going to train five days a
week or six days a week. I'm going to cut
out sugar and fats, and I'm going They're going to
do all these things, and then if you miss Monday,
think I'm not really going to get my five or
six in. And if you miss Tuesday, well I'll start
next week. So I used to say to people, just
(41:38):
set a minimum, and your minimum needs to be two
days a week. As a minimum, I'm going to fit
two sessions in. So like Milit said, you're going to
do two walks and you're going to fit in two
days of doing some scots and push ups. They could
even be on the same days. Worst case scenario, you're
going to hit your minimum. Now most weeks you're going
to do three or four. You're going to overachieve because
I just can fit it in and I feel good
and eventually it becomes a discipline that becomes a habit.
(41:59):
So discipline comes first. You've got to make yourself do
some things for a little while, and then eventually becomes
a habit where it's just it's Monday. That's what I
do on a Monday morning. So that used to work
for me. Set low standards, that you set a low
bar that you can just step over, because the higher
the bar you set initially, the more likely life's going
to just rock the boat a little bit, and you're
(42:19):
going to I'll start on Tuesday, and I definitely fall
into that boat. If I wasn't doing adventures, I'd been
all sorts of sort of adventure keeps me moving. And
I come back from this Asie twen. I was so sore.
I've been that sort of ages. But the snow was
really thick and heavy, you know, and that just says,
all right, you need to train more when we get back.
And so I've made that commitment when I get back
from EBC. So the last one I thought for well being,
(42:41):
and I just wrote some notes around some of these things.
I'm not good at. Millie's very good at sleep, nutrition, hydration.
I've never met anyone that hydrates the way you do
you're nutrition, Like you're constantly drinking water, you're nutrition. You
know one, you're a good cook, which helps obviously, and
you know exactly what goes into your food. And I
(43:02):
know that that's a challenge for a lot of people.
For a lot of us find some small winds. And sleep.
I'm really poor at sleep. Really loves bed more than
she loves me or anything else.
Speaker 1 (43:12):
But Bed doesn't talk back.
Speaker 2 (43:16):
Doesn't give me out of doesnay just stay there. Yeah.
But sleep, nutrition, hydration are three things that can really
change people's worlds if they start to. For your well
being and the other side of his recovery, just general recovery.
Be as adults, even if you're listening or maybe especially
if you're listening to a show or watching a show
like The Building Better Humane Project, you think you're go
(43:37):
to be on all the time. You got to hashtag
the grind and the hustle and the goals and you
feel you felt this, I felt this. You feel guilty
having a day off, You feel guilty not doing anything.
Speaker 1 (43:46):
My guilt is a little bit different. But because being
a professional athlete.
Speaker 2 (43:50):
It's like, yeah, when we're in camp and Declan's gone, right,
this is the workouts, and we've not fit. So we're
doing the sprints and it was rainy, and it was
this and that and and really was sore and she
should have eaten first if she didn't. And after the
first eight you're like, I don't feel good. I don't
think i'll get through who you know, exped to do
thirty two of them and they're in blocks of eight.
And then it was like, so may be and me,
(44:10):
it's all right, let's just do one more set and
then we'll call it. Well, do that once in the afternoon,
and after that sets, you just like, I really should
do the rest of should I? So if you want
to do them, so we end up doing it more.
And then you said afterwards, I would have hated myself.
I would have been sad on me all day. But
that's necessary for the fight too, because if you go
into the fight and you know that you took some shortcuts,
(44:31):
my brain says, well, what if the other girl didn't
you know? And then what if we lose a close fight?
Then we go, oh, there's a few things I skipped,
whereas if you lose, we don't want to lose a fight.
But if you lose a fight and you can say
I did everything well, I can live with that a
little bit more than if I go well, the heap
of things I didn't do. So we don't want to
get into that situation. But for you listening for Amanda,
(44:52):
for anyone else you know, resilience, Like I say, you've
been through a lot already, and just give yourself that
respect and work on anti fagility, understanding. You get better
because of what you've been through. Your exercise has really
said strength, cardio, move walking. Even for us sometimes we
just like to go for a walk of a night
time to have a chat. And even the boys will
often come out on their scooters and so they get involved,
(45:14):
and you know, so they don't have to, but people
come along with you. And then with your well being,
just thinking about your sleep, your hydration, your recovery, your.
Speaker 1 (45:22):
Nutrition, exactly what you put into your body. You'll feel
so much better if you stop it in crap. And
I'm not saying that Amanda does well. Whoever doesn't, but
if you do, and a lot of it, you just
wake up and I've done it. I've done it where
I've come home from work many years ago has sunken
six beers and they had like a bloody I haven't
(45:43):
seen this peason, she's gone, she's gone in crap and
then you wake up feeling like shit and then that
sets the tone for your whole day, and around and
around we go.
Speaker 2 (45:56):
Two things to finish off on the first one is
that everything in our life comes onto this podcast in
some way, shape or form as a lesson for people
to learn learn from. And so even the positive, sorry,
the positives and the negatives, they all there's a lesson
in everything in our lives, your lives and our lives,
and so we're people that try and delve into that,
(46:17):
and we have not got perfect lives, but that gives
us a pretty good platform to come to you guys
with lessons and all that sort of stuff. So that's
the idea is for you to take something positive out
of this. So that's the first thing. And the second
one is that we will do an NNGL on link
because or Millywell on hers, because we do want to
hear your stories. They're absolutely anonymous, so you can tell
(46:39):
us whatever truths are you've had as a young woman
growing up or as a girl that you know, and
we might share those on a separate episode, because I
think when we hear each when men hear these stories
and when other women hear these stories, it normalizes the
experiences people are going through, and then we can say, okay,
well this is a real thing, because as a man,
(47:00):
it can be easy for you to go I would
never do that. I've never treated my part of that.
I wouldn't treat my daughters like that. That then makes
your sumption what no men would? Well, they do, they do.
Speaker 1 (47:09):
So it's just and the fact that honestly, most girls
and most women that I know have had the same
experience shows that it's more common than we think. And
you know, when and then when you read in the
comments like other men defending other men's men's actions, it's
just like, shut up, like these things do happen and
(47:32):
it's not our fault because we were a child.
Speaker 2 (47:34):
And if you don't think it happens, go and watch
and read some of grace tame stuff.
Speaker 1 (47:38):
Oh maybe you did it. That's why you're defending people.
Do you know that?
Speaker 2 (47:42):
Mastly worried when I see judges give really low senses
to pedophiles, So I think you know, this is just
a general comments. I don't want the legal system to
come after a letter in front of a.
Speaker 1 (47:52):
Judge, get a letter, but you.
Speaker 2 (47:54):
Know, I just think, are you that way inclined? And
is that why you've given such a light sentence, because
surely if that was your child that that happened to,
you'd want a pretty harsh sentence on someone, you know,
maybe harsh and what the legal system allows you to give,
So to give them a light sentence, I just don't understand.
So it is these are heavy topics, but their life
topics and the things that we want to talk about,
(48:14):
so you know, I keep an eye for that. ENNGI
on link. I just want to say, on a personal level,
thank you for the support that we do get on
the show. We get tons of it, and we do
appreciate heeps. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (48:24):
I've had heaps of messages since we started Mayhem Mondays
with people saying they're really enjoying it and they get
stuff out of it, and thank.
Speaker 2 (48:32):
You people that I should I should have taken note
of these. I've had people that messaged me people actually know,
and then people that just follow the show. He said,
I've followed this for years, because we're ten years next year,
this podcast. I've followed this for years and now that
Mayhem Monday is my favorite part of the show. And
I don't know how I feel about that ten years
of my work, but I agree I enjoy these as well.
(48:53):
So I want to thank you, and just as a
finish off, to remind you, we would love to take
you on an adventure. I really would love to take
on an adventure. And even look at our youth camps
and I want to get back into personal development camps.
We've met good people. We've got some great clients who
have become friends, who came on personal development camps for
their businesses, for themselves personally. So Adventure Professionals dot com DOTU,
(49:15):
the Building Out of Humans Project dot com dot AU,
just reach out and connect with us because next year
we're ramping all of that stuff up astronomically.
Speaker 1 (49:22):
Yes we are.
Speaker 2 (49:23):
Let's go
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