July 6, 2025 • 41 mins
Love, Loyalty, and Letting Go - How Healthy Relationships Form and Why They Sometimes Don't Last
Marriage and divorce are deeply personal topics that most couples shy away from discussing publicly. In this raw and emotional episode, hosts Glenn and Mili courageously open up about Glenn's divorce and how their own relationship blossomed shortly after. Get ready for an intimate look into the dissolution of one marriage and the formation of another as they tackle questions surrounding loyalty, societal expectations, and ultimately choosing to live an authentic life.
2:30 - Mili shares details about her short-lived marriage to her ex-husband
7:15 - Small lies eroded trust and made Mili question everything
10:00 - The lack of defense from her ex-husband during a hurtful situation was the final straw
15:30 - Glenn's transparent conversation with Mili's ex before their relationship began
18:45 - The messy confrontation that forced Glenn and Mili's feelings into the open
22:30 - Letting go of loyalty when non-negotiable boundaries are crossed
27:00 - The courage required to live authentically, even if it defies norms
This episode tackles the complexity of marriage, divorce, and new relationships with honesty and nuance. Mili's bravery in opening up will inspire anyone struggling with similar issues in their own lives. Tune in to gain insight into walking away from unhealthy patterns and finding fulfillment.
Looking for more open and thoughtful relationship conversations? Don't miss an episode - subscribe now.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Approche Production.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Hey, team, welcome back to the Building Better Humans Project podcast.
This is another episode of Mayhem Mondays.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
Which means we have Mayhem, Hello.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Really Mayhem with us. So again, I keep saying this
because we're only a few weeks into this, but I'm
really enjoying the podcast too because we get to explore
sides of ourselves, even like we talk about personal development
and our life and our goals and our dreams all
the time. But anytime, this is another relationship hack for people.
(00:38):
Anytime we do anything that we haven't done before, I'll
often message you and say, that's one more thing that
we've done together that we're celebrating that we're and I
hope we're doing that for the next forty to fifty years.
How long I live fifty if I'd lived one hundred
and three, I don't want our relationship and I know
you don't to fizzle into nine. I want to I
(01:01):
want to know as you.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Yeah, yeah, we just want to be doing different things
and different challenges.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
And yeah, I want to be celebrating the little milestone.
So even just to go for a walk somewhere we
haven't been and we take the boys, there's a message
in that like, hey, we got to do something again.
So this podcast is pretty big. So I just want
to thank you guys who are watching on YouTube and
listening on the.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
Podcast, asking questions, waiting in looking at the little clips
that we put on Instagram.
Speaker 4 (01:28):
Thank you, because.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
You're giving us really good, a good opportunity to develop
our relationship as well by doing taking on a.
Speaker 4 (01:37):
New challenge, and we did.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
We put out the NGR link to get anonymous questions
asked of us, and we said that we would answer
pretty much most of them, and this podcast will be
answering one particular question that is a very personal question,
but we are public people and so that's why we
just decided to share. But also just to clear up
(02:00):
anything that, you know, any misconception, misconception.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
So I had someone message me and it wasn't someone
I knew well but obviously follows a page and they
commented on one of the questions we'd shared a few
weeks back around our relationship and said, oh my God,
like enough, like people shouldn't be asking you these questions
and you don't have to answer them, you know. And
I just want to say we know that, we know
we don't have to answer, and we don't have to
(02:24):
share them with you. If there's a question that came
through that was so bad, we just wouldn't answer it
because we don't have to. But also we've put ourselves
in a public position. And what I would love people
to learn from this is even when you get tough,
challenging situations or in our case, questions that might put
you on the back foot, look for a way out
(02:44):
of those in a positive. I heard this thing recently
and it said in every defeat, look for victory, but
also in every victory, look for defeat. And what it
meant was, every time you're defeated, look for, well, what
was the positive of this situation? But then every time
you're winning, also look for well how do I improve still?
Because either one of those can be a trap. So yeah,
I just wanted to share that big So I think
(03:05):
it's really important to look for for one of a
better words, silver lines. And so these tough questions were
here for and this one's a really personal one, it
really is.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
But I hope that like whilst I answer and clear
up any misconceptions, we can also there can be lessons
in this four people, because ultimately that is what the
podcast is about. So the question was why did you
get a divorce? And there was a number of them,
so there was quite a few. I will say three
or four questions that came through surrounding my divorce, So
why did you get a divorce? And then someone else wrote,
(03:37):
I want to know why you got a divorce too,
because I shared that one. I shared that question and
I said that we're answering on the podcast, which we
are doing.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Now someone's written, why did you get a divorced? And
you share that, but then you haven't answered it yet
because some people initially thought we're going to answer I
think on social.
Speaker 4 (03:53):
And then it's too long of a story.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
In a day or two later, they probably.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
Yeah, listen, listen, all right, So I guess we'll just
I'll start by saying we were together for a few years,
married for about five months, not a very long time, obviously,
five a very short term period.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Nothing else that tells you.
Speaker 4 (04:13):
A lot, yeah, for sure.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
And I will start by saying we did have a
good number of the first few years.
Speaker 4 (04:21):
They were good.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
You know, he did all the things, he treated me well,
blah blah blah blah blah. And I don't want to
come across as attacky because obviously he's not here to
defend to defend it, to defend himself, so I'm not
I'm not going to come across as he's a ship bloke,
like I'm just not going to do that. But I'm
telling you from my side what happened because you asked,
So you know, we got married on my thirtieth birthday,
(04:48):
May fifth, If anyone was wondering one of my birthdays,
love my birthday.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
The same present.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
Yeah, so we got married on my birthday, on my
thirtieth birthday. It was good for a little bit, and
then I started to find and out things that just
didn't add up, so.
Speaker 4 (05:10):
Small lies.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Again, I'm trying really hard not to sound attacky because
again he's not here to defend himself.
Speaker 4 (05:18):
But I guess, yeah, I did.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
I found out about things that weren't true, and like
you said before, you know on last week's podcast, I'm
big on honesty and honesty and transparency. So I started
to get really annoyed because not only were there heaps
of small little lies, there were a.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
Couple of big ones in there as well.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
And I won't delve into them because that's far too
personal for me to go into, and so I started
to There was a massive amount of mistrust between us.
We started to argue a little bit more. You know,
I used to wonder what he was doing, and I
cannot live my life like that. I just simply hate it.
So I don't like wondering what you're doing. I don't
(06:01):
like wondering whether you're telling me the right thing. I
don't like feeling like who you're texting like. I cannot
live like that. So as soon as it gets to
that type of relationship, I immediately want to leave. But
because I've just married this man, so I'm thinking, you know,
like what else could there be? And you know, I
guess I have to try. But it got to a
(06:21):
point where I'm like, find out about you know, untrue
after untrue after untrue after untrue, just small, the small things.
I won't delve into the big things because it's too.
Speaker 4 (06:33):
Incriminating.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
For one of a better word.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
I guess I'm fortunate in the sense that I've never
felt that with you, but I understand what you're saying.
And I've been in those relationships where when their phone
pings or when they you know, off the side to
and they might actually be could be texting their mum,
but it just starts to feel like something's not right.
That's a terrible relationship.
Speaker 4 (06:54):
It really is.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
And as you know, we know each other's passwords. I've
never looked at your phone, but I don't feel the
need to know. You know, there's probably been mistrust the
other way through actions. I've not drastic ones, just to
be clear, but you know, and that play on triggers.
But for you, I've not experienced it your way, which
is very very much in line with who you are.
So that's a good thing for me. So and that's why.
(07:19):
And I've had this feedback from people like why do
you not care when men try and hear? Or because
I trust her implicitly, like if I was worried that
there was maybe there's an opportunity for her to treat well,
there is because you know that's what it is. But
my trust is that you're not going to do that.
And so I've never felt the need to look at
your messages and anything she has shared with me. If
(07:41):
I have had an issue with it, I will just
tell her. And you're really good around that taking that
on that feedback and not necessarily changing your behavior, but
explaining to me why it's not something for you to
think about or worry about. So I just want to
say I've never had to feel that with you, but
I've felt it before. And I'm sure everyone watching or
listening has been in a situation where you're not sure
what someone's doing on their phone. It's such a red flag,
(08:03):
like how does it get that out? You know, it's
a really tricky one.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
Yeah, So you know, the small liars might have been
about what he ate that day, and I'm thinking, why
would you lie to me about that, Like that's such
a minuscule thing, So what else are you lying about?
And then so it just sort of started here and
then it ended up here, and then there were more
things that involved other people that I found out that
you weren't being truthful towards me. And then we went
(08:28):
on a family holiday and we were just in a
state like we were trying to be good, but we
were not good. And so I did the wrong thing,
which I fully, you know, accept And I looked at
his phone and I found messages from somebody who used
(08:49):
to be in his life, and there was a particular
conversation which he had told me about However, that particular
conversation played out completely different to the way that he
told me because it was right in front of my
face and I was reading it. So when he told
me about it, he said it was one way, it
went one way, But then when I read it, I
realized that it went completely not how he said it went.
(09:10):
So that was just another lie. But this particular lie
was worse for me, and it was I guess, the
catalyss because it was involving another woman and she said
really horrible things about me. So she called me really
bad names, which if you're a girl's girl, you just
don't do. So Yeah. But then the thing for me
(09:34):
was that it makes me emotional. The thing for me
is that he didn't defend me. I'm big on that, so.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
And I don't understand how you don't defend the person
you love.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
Yeah. So, not only did he not tell me about
what she said about me when I was reading those
text messages, he just didn't defend me at all. He
didn't say, don't talk about my wife like that, you
know last week, minimum bare minimum. I want to defend
me when somebody says something bad about me behind my
(10:08):
back and I'm not there to defend myself.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
And it was horrible because millly shared this with me
because we were friends at the time, and one hundred
percent say we were just friends and you shared this
with me, and for anyone that thinks otherwise, this was
the situation from my point of view, we talked about
it on the phone or whatever, and we even caught
up and talked about it afterwards and really cried because
she said, this is my husband. He's meant to be
(10:30):
my best friend, and he didn't even defend me when
someone called me these horrible names. And so I watched
you be really upset and emotional about that, and as
that relationship slowly disintegrated, I watched you numerous times saying
I thought he was my friend. But the more evidence
you collect of someone either not defending your actively participating
in the thing said about you, that's not your friend,
(10:54):
let alone your your husband or wife or yeah. So
that's just from my point of view, I watched it.
It kind of broke my heart as your friend at
the time, to watch you so upset that someone, and
I was unfoundom why the words that were said. You
would anyone listening if you knew you would defend hunters.
Speaker 3 (11:11):
So that was a really hard thing for me to
read on his phone, and you know, I immediately lost it,
which I also regret because the children were very close by,
but so yeah, I lost it, and I walked off
and I went for a walk and I didn't want
to come back for ages. But it was at that
point I realized, like, I'm not going to continue in
(11:31):
this marriage because I that's just I will not accept
that like non negotiables.
Speaker 4 (11:36):
We talked about last week as well.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
You defend me and you're honest, and yeah, so that's
basically in a small version of why I decided to
end that.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Do you feel judged by people for having a marriage
that lasted only five months?
Speaker 3 (11:56):
Yeah, based on some of the things that we got
through and links, I knew that there would be judgment there.
But I block out that noise because otherwise it will,
you know, if I think about that too much, it's
I've already got all these other things to think about
that I don't want to.
Speaker 4 (12:15):
Also think about that.
Speaker 3 (12:16):
But so I decided then and there I didn't want
to be in the marriage, and so I said that
to him, and then we decided that for you know,
the children's sake, we would live in the same house
but try and be amicable. That didn't last very long
for me, mainly because I needed my own space. I
wanted to move forward, and he was still trying to
(12:38):
win me back, I guess, and I was in no way,
shape or form.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
But also that some of the behaviors were still continuing,
so that was hard.
Speaker 3 (12:46):
Yes, yes, there were still lies and you know.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
And for people listening, you didn't have children together. No,
he had children and merely had children.
Speaker 4 (12:54):
To I do miss his kids so very much.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
I've watched that break your heart. You know how close
you were to the children. And sadly, we go through
relationship breakups whether you have children together or separately. Some
behaviors and in this case, and I'm not being biased,
there was so much selfishness and I'm sorry, but that's
(13:18):
what there was that we we this person wasn't considering
the children because you did everything you could to stay
involved and have them involved, him involved. But unfortunately, some
behaviors I'm sure we'll talk about continue that just made
it impossible.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
Yeah, I guess when I decided that, you know, we
couldn't keep trying to live in the same place. When
all these things were going on, I decided, I still
want to be amicable because I still want to be
in his children's lives, and I hope that they had
felt the same about me. So I moved into my
own place, but I moved two minutes away from him,
(13:57):
just so that the kids could coming on as they please,
and I wanted it to still be like that sort
of family environment where his kids can come to my
kids can go to his. We can still do all
it at those things, and we can still go on
family trips and go down to the beach together and whatever,
regardless of the fact that the marriage in So, yeah,
I moved into my own place two minutes away. And
(14:22):
then there was another question that you got, which sort
of ties into this.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
But yeah, the question I got, and look, this is
a little bit attacking, and please don't feel the need
to defend us. We're okay. But it said, and I
guess this is a perception that's out there, did merely
leave a husband for you? So the short answers no,
and the long answers also know, like, but you're explaining
that yes, And it said, did merely leave a husband
for you? If so, that's pretty poor form from both
(14:47):
of you, and probably why you cop flak from people.
Where's the loalty in this world? Gone? What does death
till death do us part? Mean?
Speaker 3 (14:57):
Till death do us part doesn't mean that you're going
to sign a piece of paper and then be sit
there willing to accept everything that is a boundary of yours.
All your life goes out the window just because you
signed a piece of paper and that person didn't live
up to the contract.
Speaker 4 (15:10):
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (15:11):
You have to consistently and I'm learning this, be winning
your husband and wife all the time. Don't just sit
into well, you know we're here now and you can't go.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
Any But don't be you know, not truthful. Don't be
you know, say somebody maybe not in my case, but
maybe if somebody was unfaithful. Don't just accept that and go, oh,
I signed a piece of paper. I'm going to try
and make your work and just accept that. Like I
just don't agree with that. So, like I said in
a couple of weeks ago on the potty, I'm a lever.
(15:41):
So something doesn't work for me, I will leave anyway.
So no, to answer that question, how glad and I
actually got together does involve this story, so I will
tell it, and it was a shocking version of events.
But basically, I'd moved into my own place and i'd
(16:03):
been there for a few months. You know, you and
I hung out a lot every single day, to be fair,
because we were training together. We were talking about ideas together.
We're delving into the youth space together. This is even
before we decided to be together, and there was definitely.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
A connection there that we didn't realize at the time.
In hindsight, I can see how that was building. And
I'm sure that was challenging for your ex to be
watching that or experiencing that because we didn't really know
what was happening and so on. But anyway, and we're
all like, I would still drop the boys over there,
and you know, I'm not mates with him, but we'd
(16:37):
have a chat and all that.
Speaker 3 (16:39):
And then there was one particular time where I was
doing something and you did take the boys to his
and you had a conversation with him whereby you said,
I just wanted to have a chat with you about something.
I am developing feelings for Melli, and I know that
(17:01):
you know it hasn't It's been a few months, you know,
five months or six months or whatever period amount of
time that you guys are separated. But I am developing
feelings for Melli, and I just wanted to come to
you as a man and let you know that if
those feelings were ever reciprocated, then I would jump on them.
And I just want you to know that because I
(17:22):
don't want you to think that I went behind your back.
I'm coming to you as a man. And then you
also said, if however, you guys were ever to get
back together, then I would step completely out of the way.
But I've not told Milly about this feeling, so I'm
just telling you, but I want them to have if
anything happens between us, I wanted to happen organically, and
I'm not going to push it or you know, because.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
I felt connected to you, but I didn't know if
that was reciprocated at the time. So what I was
trying to do was be really honorable to be honest
as a man, because I'm not about that behind your
back stuff. So I was just saying to him, I
just want to be really clear that I have feelings
and if they were reciprocated, then I would most certainly
be open to that. However, we haven't discussed it. Nice
asked him not to say anything to you. I said,
(18:06):
we haven't discussed it, but I knew he was trying
to get back with you. I knew from your side
of being hanging out with you. I didn't think that
was an option, but that was between you guys, and
you guys occasionally still went out and did some family
stuff and I went out to dinner with the kids
and all that sort of stuff and his parents, and
so I just said, if for what, you guys end
up getting back together, I will not get in the
(18:28):
way of that. Of course, I'm not that guy. And
that's all I wanted to tell him, just so that
he knew, so that if something happened between us, he
didn't go, oh, see, that was that's why you left me.
Because to answer this question, that's one hundred percent not
what happened. And I don't care what people believe about
the timeline. I'm telling you that that wasn't what this
was about. So I just wanted to be upfront so
(18:48):
that if something happened in a year's time or two
years time, he didn't think this was why.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
That same day that you went and talked to him
and had that conversation. I got a phone call from
him and he said to me, spoke to me today
and I went, oh, okay, what about and he goes,
he said that he's not remotely interested in you, And
(19:15):
I was like, why why would he?
Speaker 4 (19:17):
Like, I'm thinking, why would he just why would he.
Speaker 3 (19:19):
Just come out? I don't I don't get it. And
then he said and then Glenn also said that he
wants us to get back together. Immediately, I was annoyed. Immediately,
I was pissed off at you, at you because I
was thinking, like, you know that I don't want to
get back with him. You know that that is not
ever something that I'm going to explore ever again because
I can never trust him again. So I don't understand
(19:42):
why you would go there, take my children to him,
and then try and get us back together. It immediately
pissed me off. So I've hung up the phone from him,
and I've rung you and gone, what are you doing
going to my ex husband and telling him that we
should get back together when you know that that is
the last thing that I want to do. And there
was a little bit of a silence, and then you go, nearly,
(20:03):
that's not what I said. And then you told me
what you had actually said.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
And then because you had also said to me and
he said, you're not interested in me, which is a
random conversation.
Speaker 4 (20:14):
Yeah, I was like, how did that even come up?
Speaker 2 (20:15):
So it's not like there if it wasn't because it's
not like you would go in to him and say
how I'm interested in Glenn and then Glenn's gone, I'm
not interested in it. That didn't happen. No, So it
was the conversation didn't make sense.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
No, it didn't make sense at all.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
But you must have assumed we wouldn't speak to each other.
I don't know, I address it. Maybe it would show
how little.
Speaker 3 (20:32):
Knew you everything, the good, the bad, or the ugly,
like to clear as we said before. Yeah, so then
you said to me that's not actually what I said.
This is what I said. And I was just like
a little bit caught of guy because I was like,
got ship. I was like, so now it's out there,
and I risked.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
My fear was at risk ruining our friendship because I
would not have ruined our friendship for a relationship. So
if I thought there was any chance you had no
interest in me, I would not have ever anything to
you because I wouldn't want to because that gets makes
a friendship awkward and our coaching relationship and everything. So
I wouldn't have done that. And so I wasn't ready
fast to have that conversation by any stretch of the imagination.
(21:16):
And then he kind of forced us into that situation,
which was could have really went bad, and it turned
out really good. So thank you, I guess.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
But yeah. So, but then one of the big things
for me was that as soon as I called him
to call him out on that, he didn't immediately tell
me the truth on what he did. He immediately lied
again and said and then at this point, it's not
only that you've lied, you're actively trying to make me
(21:44):
guess between who is telling the truth. And that's such
a messed up situation to put somebody else in.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
He was doubly down.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
Yeah, so I'm thinking, well, given your track record on
not telling the truth, not yours his, I'm going to
go Glenn on this one.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
But they're not. The risk was that I become another
man that lies to you.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
So imagine if I did believe the thing you believe him,
and then you and I wouldn't have continued a coaching relationship.
We wouldn't be here today. You know, I wouldn't be
one step closer to my boxing dreams. Not that that's
all that it was about, but back then it was
because that's all we were to each other.
Speaker 4 (22:22):
Well, we were.
Speaker 3 (22:22):
Friends, don't get me wrong, but the main relationship between
us was that you were my coach and I was
your athlete. So imagine if I believed him and I said, Glenn,
you can go jump, and then we never spoke to
each other again. He would run, I'm assuming he would
run with that lie to his grave. And that is
such a.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
And he made accusations that I was. He's lying to you.
He's just manipulating.
Speaker 3 (22:45):
He's manipulating you. He's not the person that you think
that he is. He's not the person.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
And this guy doesn't know me.
Speaker 4 (22:51):
Excuse me. He's not the person that you know.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
His person is one step. When this all first started,
early on in your separation, he rang me out of
the blue and I didn't have his number on my phone.
I was like, oh okay, and he said, I want
to talk about out. You know what's happening his relationship
with Millie and get some advice because I know you're
the personal development guy. And I'm like, and I had
I was taking the kids somewhere to macas or something
(23:13):
like you're Samuel and some of the boys for the
first time they ever driven in the army. I'm like, oh,
I can't have this conversation right now because you know.
And so then he rang me back. Hours later, I
rang him back and he just said, I want advice.
I want to know how to get her back. And
I said, I cannot give you advice on that really
is my person like in a coaching sense, as in
(23:35):
a personal development sense even or a therapist or a
psychologist or anything. You can't be working with two people.
Speaker 3 (23:41):
But also you knew that that's not something that would
ever cross my mind. Again, I just don't be.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
Told to me. Then it was all about how I've
done everything for her. I supported her business when it
was struggling, and none of those things turned out to
be true. And I told you, I'm very honest with that.
I just said, hey, this is what I was told.
And that just made you angry because you're like, that's
just all lies. So the whole scenario it was. It
could have ruined a friendship, It could have ruined what
(24:08):
is now a good relationship.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
Fortunately, to put two people in front of somebody for
them to guess which one is the liar, I think
is such a messed up thing for somebody. It is
very manipulated. But it's such a head f I know
we don't swear on this podcast, but it really is.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
But it's almost if I'm not going to have her,
I'm going to try and ruin your relationship, even if
it was just a friendship because I'm a bit jealous
of what's happening over here. Even if he's unsure if
it's a relationship, it is, but I'm just going to
ruin that as well. That's crazy to me that you're
willing to ruin someone else's friendship because I can't have you,
(24:49):
so no one's gonna have you.
Speaker 4 (24:50):
That's crazy.
Speaker 3 (24:52):
So I guess from that point on it just turned
really bad. There was a little bit of physical.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
Well before the physical we were called out. Basically, I
was out moving some stuff because we weren't living together
or anything by those stages, and you rang me and
said he wants to meet us together. And he's going
to prove that you're lying.
Speaker 4 (25:14):
Oh yeah, that's right.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
I'm like okay.
Speaker 3 (25:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (25:19):
So we actually did go to his so we said yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
And I didn't know what to expect, you know, like
I wasn't worried physically, like I wasn't feeling fearful or
any harm. Like I know how to fight and I'm
a big man and all that sort of stuff, So
I wasn't worried about that. But it was just like,
this is a weird situation to be called into because.
Speaker 3 (25:37):
You know that what you were saying was facts, and
so for him to be like run with that life
so hard to the point where he's like, come to
my house, sit down in front of me. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
He thought we wouldn't turn up.
Speaker 4 (25:47):
Yeah, but we turned up.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
I didn't talk at all. I just sat.
Speaker 3 (25:53):
Yeah I did.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
I didn't need to because there was nothing put on
the table that went against anything that I said. In fact,
it was the first time I saw you in a
proper argument where you just had facts and said do
you want me to You had to take the messages
because then he said I didn't say that. I didn't
say yeah you did. I've got that you want me
to read the message.
Speaker 4 (26:14):
Yeah, let me get the rest of he.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
Said to her. I don't want you to read the message.
She read the message and it just went south and
I was like, now you're presented with the written fact
that you're lying. That's crazy that.
Speaker 4 (26:27):
You put yourself in that situation.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
I'm going to double down in this to the point
where I deny, deny, deny until it's there it is okay,
you got me.
Speaker 4 (26:37):
It is a bit wild. So I guess at that
point I was very.
Speaker 3 (26:44):
I guess, like set with my decision of not continuing
the marriage.
Speaker 4 (26:50):
You know, I had already been.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
Set, but at that point I was like, yeah, man, damn,
like this is I'm really really glad that I didn't
continue for the rest of my life in this sort
of situation. I don't know what else you could be
lying to me about.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
You know, doubt.
Speaker 3 (27:05):
Yeah, yeah, So that's basically what happened. It then escalated,
you know, because we did again try and be polite
to each other. I still love the kids, you know.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
Can I just say then what happened was now on
the table was the fact that I was interested in you,
and then the conversation was well actually so am. I
and I went away overseas and there was you know,
nothing had happened at this stage, but there was just
some messages. And then one day I said to you
all you said to me, I'll miss you. Look I
just and I meant by that, I miss how conversations.
(27:39):
I miss you, and then and then you set it
back or vices. I can't remember how it went. Then
I said it first, and then I remember said I
miss you too, And I remember going to bed thinking
this is potentially a thing.
Speaker 4 (27:50):
Just because I did.
Speaker 3 (27:51):
And I never connected with somebody on the level that
we've connected.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
So and that answers a question from last week when
someone said, how did it change so suddenly? That's now
that I think that that's the moment where it really
changed for me, when you said you missed me, and
I said, oh, because I go away a lot, not
that really. And I've got friends and that who are
excited when I come home, like did you And people
are like, oh, you know you and catch up to
the breakfast. Haven't seen you for a few weeks. But
I've never had anyone actually say I miss you.
Speaker 3 (28:15):
You know, at that point, you know, you had already
been introduced to my kids, you know, as a friend,
even when he was still in the picture. You'd already
met my kids, that'd come to the gym, you know,
all of that sort of stuff, and you know, my
friends meet my kids. You know, if you're going to
be in my life, you're going to meet my kids
because they go a lot of places with me. So yeah,
(28:37):
so yeah, I had already met my kids. We had
already developed a connection. You know, there was already this
level of trust between us. And then when he you know,
did all that and basically forced us to have that conversation,
I realized, yeah, look same. I guess I just didn't
want to think about it or admit it because I
was going through something else and I thought it was maybe.
Speaker 4 (28:58):
Too early, And you know, I did still think it
was too.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
In hindsight, it probably was, you know, just based on
I guess norms. But I don't regret anything.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
And it put a lot of pressure on our early
relationship then because it was forced into the fire and
we weren't really ready for that. And so You're still
dealing with your stuff and I've got stuff going on
and within the business and other things. It was like,
all right, now we're kind of together, and that was
pretty intense earlier. If we're really honest, and often when
(29:28):
we've had a few little struggles, I will say to
mel we started this relationship far more intensely than most people,
and there's so many moving parts in who we are
and who we want to be, and who our past
was and everything in between. Was just thrown into this
melting pot by by this guy that was like damn,
(29:49):
And maybe he could have got his aim and it
could have ruined it. But I think it's made us
stronger and we're not infallible. I always think this, and
we've told as We've really put ourselves out there doing
a podcast like this because we're publicly in a relationship,
publicly right and if anything ever went wrong, that's going
to be public too. And that's intense. That's tactic. I'm
(30:12):
up for that. They't get me wrong, because I'm in
this for the rest of my life. But yeah, just
you realize and you put yourself under the microscope. So
it's pretty intense. I want to address till death do
us part. What happened to loyalty? I'm lord is one
of my strengths. I'm law to people to a fault,
but you have to have non negotiables in your life
(30:34):
because you go from being loyal to being used. And
what I've learned when it comes to loyalty, some people
are loyal to you and some people are loyal to
the need of you. Yeah, and as soon as you
stop providing a thing, the loyalty stops. And so I
don't think you should be lawty to the point where
you're hurting yourself. And you need to know when you're
(30:54):
being used or when you're being disrespected or any of those.
Speaker 3 (30:58):
Loyalty of One of the biggest things for me in
loyalty though, is having your back behind your back, which clearly.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
So the law to go. You didn't stay in the madiner.
Speaker 4 (31:11):
There wasn't any in there apparently, so yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
I didn't think of that point. But that's a good point.
And then the other parts of conversation or that question,
and that is a very attacking question. And I understand
that I'm not going to give you leeway for that
question whoever wrote it, but I'm going to say this
that you've written that with a perception of how you
believe it already played it.
Speaker 4 (31:32):
Yeah, so you've asked a question, But you already believe what.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
You are and we're not here to change your mind.
You can think all this is garbage. Cool. I'm not
here to convince. I'm not losing sleep over this. But
I do know that how things played out, and I
do understand the connection that we have, and I do
understand how it might look to other people. But I've
also watched people staying five, ten, fifteen, twenty year relationships
(31:55):
that are not healthy, and I don't know that that's
good for you. I watched my own parents do that
for years, where I don't really remember a time that
they were in love and got on and all that
suff So when they finally split up, I was like,
my thirties, I've lived down home at fourteen and when
they rang us are you're sitting down? And was like, okay,
Like that should happen years ago for everyone's sake, because
I don't. And people say they stay together for the kids,
(32:16):
I don't know that that's healthy. And that's a whole
other conversation, because your kids shouldn't see you in an
unhealthy relationship.
Speaker 3 (32:23):
There's a lot of messed up people in our generation
from our parents or you know that generation going we'll
stay together for the kids, and there's a lot of
messed up people, so it's not like you did us
any favors, like.
Speaker 2 (32:33):
I actively love you. In front of the boys, we
will hug and kiss and you'll sit on my lap
and we'll talk. And I think it's healthy for children
to see that. We've had people in the past, right
in engls and on our social media, like he's up
on the PDAs and I think, well, we don't really
do any publicly, but he's holding hands or hugging or sitting.
(32:53):
But in front of the boys, there's a little bit
more because they need to know that we're important to
each other, that they're Our love for them is unconditional.
But this is a relationship to that we've chosen and you,
and it should be respected as as such. So you know,
whether it was forced to happen a little bit quicker
sometimes I think a bit more time would have been nice,
(33:14):
But also I think it is what it is that.
Speaker 4 (33:17):
Happens in my belief when it's supposed.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
To, even if we don't understand it at the time.
Speaker 4 (33:22):
Yeah, So.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
Yeah, the way that question was formulated is what it is.
In the second or third part of that was maybe
this is why you cop some flat. Well, no, because
it's not true. So we copt flat because of people's
perceptions of And that's okay too, because I'm not need
to change your perceptions. I will say this, I will
talk about our relationship every episode if there's a genuine
(33:46):
interest in that. But I'd also like to put it
to bed all of this stuff, because you know it's
very emotional for you, and I will just want to
acknowledge how brave it was for you to even talk
about this, because it is a pretty personal topic and
it is something that we almost should keep to ourselves,
but we live our lives publicly, so I don't want
(34:06):
to have to address this again if I'm really honest
and put you in that situation. But if we can
address any pieces of our relationship that help you the
people watching or listening, I'm here for that. So I
don't think enough people talk about healthy relationships.
Speaker 3 (34:22):
And leaving when you think you should, and you know,
staying when you probably should.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
End or working on it when you should, yeah, you know,
rather than just going you know what, We've been married
ten years, she's not going anywhere. Well, no, you shouldn't
get the luxury of mistreating someone thinking they're not going
to leave. Because to add into that, you shared a
video with me recently about the p and G culture
(34:48):
of the bride price. Yes, which is where or do
you want to explain that well.
Speaker 3 (34:53):
So, bride price is basically where the man's family pay
the bride's family an amount of money or sometimes it
can be gifts such as Matt's or.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
Or pigs and chickens.
Speaker 3 (35:07):
Pigs, so, pigs is a big one as well, cows, chickens,
any sort of farm animal that they can eat, lots
of fish, and it usually comes with cash as well,
depending on how wealthy the man's family is or depending
on what they think that they should give. And it's
a massive thing in Papua New Guinea and other places
(35:27):
that have this sort of bride prices. Because the man
has paid for the wife, she has to stay no
matter what, and he can treat her however he wants
to treat her, so he.
Speaker 4 (35:38):
Could nearly murder her.
Speaker 3 (35:40):
There's domestic violence is massive in Papua New Guinea and
I really hope that that's something that'll on the way
to change.
Speaker 2 (35:46):
We're police have even sent women back saying well.
Speaker 3 (35:48):
Yeah, your family's paid, so you've got to go back. Yeah,
it's wild. Yeah, you've got to stay in that situation.
That's your that's your husband. You made a commitment to him,
so till.
Speaker 4 (35:57):
Death do us part.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
So he's my challenge for people listening to that. If
you're challenged by that, and then you're also saying, but
what about to death to us part? You're doing the
same thing. It's maybe not necessarily in attached physical violence
or there's not worse to say you have to stay,
but the societal norm is you really should stay. You know, oh,
five months, you mustn't have worked hard enough on keeping it.
(36:19):
But also red flags are red flags, and boundaries are boundaries.
And I've experienced in my life, not even in personal relationships,
in client relationships, where people have constantly not only stepped over,
but trampled on boundaries, and I've learn it happen for
far too long, and then it's almost on you at
that point, well why do you let it go that far?
So I think you really need to be soldent in boundaries.
(36:41):
And now the difference is in a healthy relationship is
we get to discuss those boundaries and not be too
defensive where possible, and learn from it. So you yes,
I get a little bit defensive sometimes and seemingly innocuous things,
but that's for me. I have to deal with that.
But what I have to understand is how it makes
you feel. But ultimately, so far we've always managed to
(37:02):
work through it and get to the next age of
less and less of that behavior because I know you
don't like that and more of this behavior. Yeah, So
I think all in all, I'd love to end these
conversations and stick to things that help you as the
listener and watch her to grow and to develop them,
because it's the building better Humans project. But also feel
(37:23):
like our relationship and how it started and the divorce,
it's a wide elephant in the room, so if we
don't discuss it, it's always in the room. So now
it's it's out of the room.
Speaker 4 (37:34):
It's done.
Speaker 3 (37:35):
So there you go. That's why I got divorced. No,
I didn't leave my husband for Glenn.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
Even that thought is such a low opinion of a
human to think that they would leave when someone better
comes along, whatever better looks on, Because if that's who
you are, then what's my fear that someone younger, more attractive, wealthier,
whatever the thing is that I think I don't have,
you're going to leave because that's that's what you're saying.
(38:05):
This woman's about. That's the right answer and vice for this.
But again, I just want to acknowledge the courage it
takes to answer questions like that, and hopefully that's now
understood and we can now move on and just talk
about personment because all of these tough things of who
(38:27):
we are, that's what's brought us to be who we are.
So when I was youngest, I'm never going to regret
anything in my life. And I don't know if I
regret things, even though I've used that word in the past.
But I look back at things and wished I made
better decisions. I wish I'd not done or said things
that I've done or said. I wished I totally not
(38:48):
found myself in a situation whatever. I do think that,
and the large part of that is having tried to
follow society's norms. It takes a lot of courage to
not follow society. I heard a quote recently that said
that the world is so fuss away from the truth
that it hates some people who tell the truth. And
(39:11):
how I took that to mean is that if you
want to live an authentic life, you have to live
to your own truth. But too often where formed, I
wonder how many people are in a relationship, or in
a job, or in a thing because that's what mum
and dad thought was a good idea. That's what society
says a good idea, and they hate it. I just
think that's true. I wouldn't say a friend, but a
(39:32):
guy that I knew well years ago, and he was
a doctor in Timba and he owned his own little
GP practice and his wife was very driven around business
side of things, but he just liked being a doctor.
And they ended up moving into this big medical suite
that he was a part owner of and he had
the maserati and all of the stuff. And I think she,
and I'm not blaming how, I'm just saying she was
(39:52):
really driven around that the image and the owning the things,
and they just had everything. They're in, they're big in
the private school systems. And then one day he just
killed himself, and people like what he had everything, But
you don't know if he had everything. All you know
is that he had everything that society says is everything.
So there was obviously something not right or something missing,
or there's there was just like to the outside word,
(40:14):
it was like what like confusing, but internally there must
have been something happening. And to me, that's a very
extreme example of if you let society's norms dictate your
every action, but you know it's inauthentic to you. Man,
I'd prefer to be authentic to myself and living out
in the boondock somewhere and no one knows who I am.
I've chosen to live this public life. You've chosen to
(40:37):
live that with me. If Billy came into my world
and was totally not about social media and not wanting
to live the public life, then I wouldn't even talk
about our relationship anywhere. But we are public people and
we're open to being challenged.
Speaker 3 (40:51):
We are We did reach out for questions. We've got
questions where answering honestly, and I.
Speaker 2 (40:56):
Would love to going forward, maybe have a theme. So
maybe we picked something that we would love you to
give us your opinion of, and we might talk about
our opinion of that and other people's opinions. Because I
think social media and podcasts are really a part of
the social media landscape. I think they can be so positive.
We can learn so much about how other humans behave
(41:18):
and think, and no one's perfect and no one's a guru,
but we can all learn from each other. Yeah, and
that's the community that we're trying to create. It's another
great episode. We're going to put some links out for
more questions and yeah, we look forward to it.
Speaker 3 (41:34):
Yeah, I can't wait.
Speaker 1 (41:38):
Thanks for listening to this episode of the Building Better
Humans Podcast with your host Glenna's a for feedback. To
stay up to date or go back and find an
old episode, head over to one ady dot net don Au. Yeah,
the Building Better Humans Project pocas, let's go
Approche Production.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Hey, team, welcome back to the Building Better Humans Project podcast.
This is another episode of Mayhem Mondays.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
Which means we have Mayhem, Hello.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Really Mayhem with us. So again, I keep saying this
because we're only a few weeks into this, but I'm
really enjoying the podcast too because we get to explore
sides of ourselves, even like we talk about personal development
and our life and our goals and our dreams all
the time. But anytime, this is another relationship hack for people.
(00:38):
Anytime we do anything that we haven't done before, I'll
often message you and say, that's one more thing that
we've done together that we're celebrating that we're and I
hope we're doing that for the next forty to fifty years.
How long I live fifty if I'd lived one hundred
and three, I don't want our relationship and I know
you don't to fizzle into nine. I want to I
(01:01):
want to know as you.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Yeah, yeah, we just want to be doing different things
and different challenges.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
And yeah, I want to be celebrating the little milestone.
So even just to go for a walk somewhere we
haven't been and we take the boys, there's a message
in that like, hey, we got to do something again.
So this podcast is pretty big. So I just want
to thank you guys who are watching on YouTube and
listening on the.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
Podcast, asking questions, waiting in looking at the little clips
that we put on Instagram.
Speaker 4 (01:28):
Thank you, because.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
You're giving us really good, a good opportunity to develop
our relationship as well by doing taking on a.
Speaker 4 (01:37):
New challenge, and we did.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
We put out the NGR link to get anonymous questions
asked of us, and we said that we would answer
pretty much most of them, and this podcast will be
answering one particular question that is a very personal question,
but we are public people and so that's why we
just decided to share. But also just to clear up
(02:00):
anything that, you know, any misconception, misconception.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
So I had someone message me and it wasn't someone
I knew well but obviously follows a page and they
commented on one of the questions we'd shared a few
weeks back around our relationship and said, oh my God,
like enough, like people shouldn't be asking you these questions
and you don't have to answer them, you know. And
I just want to say we know that, we know
we don't have to answer, and we don't have to
(02:24):
share them with you. If there's a question that came
through that was so bad, we just wouldn't answer it
because we don't have to. But also we've put ourselves
in a public position. And what I would love people
to learn from this is even when you get tough,
challenging situations or in our case, questions that might put
you on the back foot, look for a way out
(02:44):
of those in a positive. I heard this thing recently
and it said in every defeat, look for victory, but
also in every victory, look for defeat. And what it
meant was, every time you're defeated, look for, well, what
was the positive of this situation? But then every time
you're winning, also look for well how do I improve still?
Because either one of those can be a trap. So yeah,
I just wanted to share that big So I think
(03:05):
it's really important to look for for one of a
better words, silver lines. And so these tough questions were
here for and this one's a really personal one, it
really is.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
But I hope that like whilst I answer and clear
up any misconceptions, we can also there can be lessons
in this four people, because ultimately that is what the
podcast is about. So the question was why did you
get a divorce? And there was a number of them,
so there was quite a few. I will say three
or four questions that came through surrounding my divorce, So
why did you get a divorce? And then someone else wrote,
(03:37):
I want to know why you got a divorce too,
because I shared that one. I shared that question and
I said that we're answering on the podcast, which we
are doing.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Now someone's written, why did you get a divorced? And
you share that, but then you haven't answered it yet
because some people initially thought we're going to answer I
think on social.
Speaker 4 (03:53):
And then it's too long of a story.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
In a day or two later, they probably.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
Yeah, listen, listen, all right, So I guess we'll just
I'll start by saying we were together for a few years,
married for about five months, not a very long time, obviously,
five a very short term period.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Nothing else that tells you.
Speaker 4 (04:13):
A lot, yeah, for sure.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
And I will start by saying we did have a
good number of the first few years.
Speaker 4 (04:21):
They were good.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
You know, he did all the things, he treated me well,
blah blah blah blah blah. And I don't want to
come across as attacky because obviously he's not here to
defend to defend it, to defend himself, so I'm not
I'm not going to come across as he's a ship bloke,
like I'm just not going to do that. But I'm
telling you from my side what happened because you asked,
So you know, we got married on my thirtieth birthday,
(04:48):
May fifth, If anyone was wondering one of my birthdays,
love my birthday.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
The same present.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
Yeah, so we got married on my birthday, on my
thirtieth birthday. It was good for a little bit, and
then I started to find and out things that just
didn't add up, so.
Speaker 4 (05:10):
Small lies.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Again, I'm trying really hard not to sound attacky because
again he's not here to defend himself.
Speaker 4 (05:18):
But I guess, yeah, I did.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
I found out about things that weren't true, and like
you said before, you know on last week's podcast, I'm
big on honesty and honesty and transparency. So I started
to get really annoyed because not only were there heaps
of small little lies, there were a.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
Couple of big ones in there as well.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
And I won't delve into them because that's far too
personal for me to go into, and so I started
to There was a massive amount of mistrust between us.
We started to argue a little bit more. You know,
I used to wonder what he was doing, and I
cannot live my life like that. I just simply hate it.
So I don't like wondering what you're doing. I don't
(06:01):
like wondering whether you're telling me the right thing. I
don't like feeling like who you're texting like. I cannot
live like that. So as soon as it gets to
that type of relationship, I immediately want to leave. But
because I've just married this man, so I'm thinking, you know,
like what else could there be? And you know, I
guess I have to try. But it got to a
(06:21):
point where I'm like, find out about you know, untrue
after untrue after untrue after untrue, just small, the small things.
I won't delve into the big things because it's too.
Speaker 4 (06:33):
Incriminating.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
For one of a better word.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
I guess I'm fortunate in the sense that I've never
felt that with you, but I understand what you're saying.
And I've been in those relationships where when their phone
pings or when they you know, off the side to
and they might actually be could be texting their mum,
but it just starts to feel like something's not right.
That's a terrible relationship.
Speaker 4 (06:54):
It really is.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
And as you know, we know each other's passwords. I've
never looked at your phone, but I don't feel the
need to know. You know, there's probably been mistrust the
other way through actions. I've not drastic ones, just to
be clear, but you know, and that play on triggers.
But for you, I've not experienced it your way, which
is very very much in line with who you are.
So that's a good thing for me. So and that's why.
(07:19):
And I've had this feedback from people like why do
you not care when men try and hear? Or because
I trust her implicitly, like if I was worried that
there was maybe there's an opportunity for her to treat well,
there is because you know that's what it is. But
my trust is that you're not going to do that.
And so I've never felt the need to look at
your messages and anything she has shared with me. If
(07:41):
I have had an issue with it, I will just
tell her. And you're really good around that taking that
on that feedback and not necessarily changing your behavior, but
explaining to me why it's not something for you to
think about or worry about. So I just want to
say I've never had to feel that with you, but
I've felt it before. And I'm sure everyone watching or
listening has been in a situation where you're not sure
what someone's doing on their phone. It's such a red flag,
(08:03):
like how does it get that out? You know, it's
a really tricky one.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
Yeah, So you know, the small liars might have been
about what he ate that day, and I'm thinking, why
would you lie to me about that, Like that's such
a minuscule thing, So what else are you lying about?
And then so it just sort of started here and
then it ended up here, and then there were more
things that involved other people that I found out that
you weren't being truthful towards me. And then we went
(08:28):
on a family holiday and we were just in a
state like we were trying to be good, but we
were not good. And so I did the wrong thing,
which I fully, you know, accept And I looked at
his phone and I found messages from somebody who used
(08:49):
to be in his life, and there was a particular
conversation which he had told me about However, that particular
conversation played out completely different to the way that he
told me because it was right in front of my
face and I was reading it. So when he told
me about it, he said it was one way, it
went one way, But then when I read it, I
realized that it went completely not how he said it went.
(09:10):
So that was just another lie. But this particular lie
was worse for me, and it was I guess, the
catalyss because it was involving another woman and she said
really horrible things about me. So she called me really
bad names, which if you're a girl's girl, you just
don't do. So Yeah. But then the thing for me
(09:34):
was that it makes me emotional. The thing for me
is that he didn't defend me. I'm big on that, so.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
And I don't understand how you don't defend the person
you love.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
Yeah. So, not only did he not tell me about
what she said about me when I was reading those
text messages, he just didn't defend me at all. He
didn't say, don't talk about my wife like that, you
know last week, minimum bare minimum. I want to defend
me when somebody says something bad about me behind my
(10:08):
back and I'm not there to defend myself.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
And it was horrible because millly shared this with me
because we were friends at the time, and one hundred
percent say we were just friends and you shared this
with me, and for anyone that thinks otherwise, this was
the situation from my point of view, we talked about
it on the phone or whatever, and we even caught
up and talked about it afterwards and really cried because
she said, this is my husband. He's meant to be
(10:30):
my best friend, and he didn't even defend me when
someone called me these horrible names. And so I watched
you be really upset and emotional about that, and as
that relationship slowly disintegrated, I watched you numerous times saying
I thought he was my friend. But the more evidence
you collect of someone either not defending your actively participating
in the thing said about you, that's not your friend,
(10:54):
let alone your your husband or wife or yeah. So
that's just from my point of view, I watched it.
It kind of broke my heart as your friend at
the time, to watch you so upset that someone, and
I was unfoundom why the words that were said. You
would anyone listening if you knew you would defend hunters.
Speaker 3 (11:11):
So that was a really hard thing for me to
read on his phone, and you know, I immediately lost it,
which I also regret because the children were very close by,
but so yeah, I lost it, and I walked off
and I went for a walk and I didn't want
to come back for ages. But it was at that
point I realized, like, I'm not going to continue in
(11:31):
this marriage because I that's just I will not accept
that like non negotiables.
Speaker 4 (11:36):
We talked about last week as well.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
You defend me and you're honest, and yeah, so that's
basically in a small version of why I decided to
end that.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Do you feel judged by people for having a marriage
that lasted only five months?
Speaker 3 (11:56):
Yeah, based on some of the things that we got
through and links, I knew that there would be judgment there.
But I block out that noise because otherwise it will,
you know, if I think about that too much, it's
I've already got all these other things to think about
that I don't want to.
Speaker 4 (12:15):
Also think about that.
Speaker 3 (12:16):
But so I decided then and there I didn't want
to be in the marriage, and so I said that
to him, and then we decided that for you know,
the children's sake, we would live in the same house
but try and be amicable. That didn't last very long
for me, mainly because I needed my own space. I
wanted to move forward, and he was still trying to
(12:38):
win me back, I guess, and I was in no way,
shape or form.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
But also that some of the behaviors were still continuing,
so that was hard.
Speaker 3 (12:46):
Yes, yes, there were still lies and you know.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
And for people listening, you didn't have children together. No,
he had children and merely had children.
Speaker 4 (12:54):
To I do miss his kids so very much.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
I've watched that break your heart. You know how close
you were to the children. And sadly, we go through
relationship breakups whether you have children together or separately. Some
behaviors and in this case, and I'm not being biased,
there was so much selfishness and I'm sorry, but that's
(13:18):
what there was that we we this person wasn't considering
the children because you did everything you could to stay
involved and have them involved, him involved. But unfortunately, some
behaviors I'm sure we'll talk about continue that just made
it impossible.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
Yeah, I guess when I decided that, you know, we
couldn't keep trying to live in the same place. When
all these things were going on, I decided, I still
want to be amicable because I still want to be
in his children's lives, and I hope that they had
felt the same about me. So I moved into my
own place, but I moved two minutes away from him,
(13:57):
just so that the kids could coming on as they please,
and I wanted it to still be like that sort
of family environment where his kids can come to my
kids can go to his. We can still do all
it at those things, and we can still go on
family trips and go down to the beach together and whatever,
regardless of the fact that the marriage in So, yeah,
I moved into my own place two minutes away. And
(14:22):
then there was another question that you got, which sort
of ties into this.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
But yeah, the question I got, and look, this is
a little bit attacking, and please don't feel the need
to defend us. We're okay. But it said, and I
guess this is a perception that's out there, did merely
leave a husband for you? So the short answers no,
and the long answers also know, like, but you're explaining
that yes, And it said, did merely leave a husband
for you? If so, that's pretty poor form from both
(14:47):
of you, and probably why you cop flak from people.
Where's the loalty in this world? Gone? What does death
till death do us part? Mean?
Speaker 3 (14:57):
Till death do us part doesn't mean that you're going
to sign a piece of paper and then be sit
there willing to accept everything that is a boundary of yours.
All your life goes out the window just because you
signed a piece of paper and that person didn't live
up to the contract.
Speaker 4 (15:10):
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (15:11):
You have to consistently and I'm learning this, be winning
your husband and wife all the time. Don't just sit
into well, you know we're here now and you can't go.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
Any But don't be you know, not truthful. Don't be
you know, say somebody maybe not in my case, but
maybe if somebody was unfaithful. Don't just accept that and go, oh,
I signed a piece of paper. I'm going to try
and make your work and just accept that. Like I
just don't agree with that. So, like I said in
a couple of weeks ago on the potty, I'm a lever.
(15:41):
So something doesn't work for me, I will leave anyway.
So no, to answer that question, how glad and I
actually got together does involve this story, so I will
tell it, and it was a shocking version of events.
But basically, I'd moved into my own place and i'd
(16:03):
been there for a few months. You know, you and
I hung out a lot every single day, to be fair,
because we were training together. We were talking about ideas together.
We're delving into the youth space together. This is even
before we decided to be together, and there was definitely.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
A connection there that we didn't realize at the time.
In hindsight, I can see how that was building. And
I'm sure that was challenging for your ex to be
watching that or experiencing that because we didn't really know
what was happening and so on. But anyway, and we're
all like, I would still drop the boys over there,
and you know, I'm not mates with him, but we'd
(16:37):
have a chat and all that.
Speaker 3 (16:39):
And then there was one particular time where I was
doing something and you did take the boys to his
and you had a conversation with him whereby you said,
I just wanted to have a chat with you about something.
I am developing feelings for Melli, and I know that
(17:01):
you know it hasn't It's been a few months, you know,
five months or six months or whatever period amount of
time that you guys are separated. But I am developing
feelings for Melli, and I just wanted to come to
you as a man and let you know that if
those feelings were ever reciprocated, then I would jump on them.
And I just want you to know that because I
(17:22):
don't want you to think that I went behind your back.
I'm coming to you as a man. And then you
also said, if however, you guys were ever to get
back together, then I would step completely out of the way.
But I've not told Milly about this feeling, so I'm
just telling you, but I want them to have if
anything happens between us, I wanted to happen organically, and
I'm not going to push it or you know, because.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
I felt connected to you, but I didn't know if
that was reciprocated at the time. So what I was
trying to do was be really honorable to be honest
as a man, because I'm not about that behind your
back stuff. So I was just saying to him, I
just want to be really clear that I have feelings
and if they were reciprocated, then I would most certainly
be open to that. However, we haven't discussed it. Nice
asked him not to say anything to you. I said,
(18:06):
we haven't discussed it, but I knew he was trying
to get back with you. I knew from your side
of being hanging out with you. I didn't think that
was an option, but that was between you guys, and
you guys occasionally still went out and did some family
stuff and I went out to dinner with the kids
and all that sort of stuff and his parents, and
so I just said, if for what, you guys end
up getting back together, I will not get in the
(18:28):
way of that. Of course, I'm not that guy. And
that's all I wanted to tell him, just so that
he knew, so that if something happened between us, he
didn't go, oh, see, that was that's why you left me.
Because to answer this question, that's one hundred percent not
what happened. And I don't care what people believe about
the timeline. I'm telling you that that wasn't what this
was about. So I just wanted to be upfront so
(18:48):
that if something happened in a year's time or two
years time, he didn't think this was why.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
That same day that you went and talked to him
and had that conversation. I got a phone call from
him and he said to me, spoke to me today
and I went, oh, okay, what about and he goes,
he said that he's not remotely interested in you, And
(19:15):
I was like, why why would he?
Speaker 4 (19:17):
Like, I'm thinking, why would he just why would he.
Speaker 3 (19:19):
Just come out? I don't I don't get it. And
then he said and then Glenn also said that he
wants us to get back together. Immediately, I was annoyed. Immediately,
I was pissed off at you, at you because I
was thinking, like, you know that I don't want to
get back with him. You know that that is not
ever something that I'm going to explore ever again because
I can never trust him again. So I don't understand
(19:42):
why you would go there, take my children to him,
and then try and get us back together. It immediately
pissed me off. So I've hung up the phone from him,
and I've rung you and gone, what are you doing
going to my ex husband and telling him that we
should get back together when you know that that is
the last thing that I want to do. And there
was a little bit of a silence, and then you go, nearly,
(20:03):
that's not what I said. And then you told me
what you had actually said.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
And then because you had also said to me and
he said, you're not interested in me, which is a
random conversation.
Speaker 4 (20:14):
Yeah, I was like, how did that even come up?
Speaker 2 (20:15):
So it's not like there if it wasn't because it's
not like you would go in to him and say
how I'm interested in Glenn and then Glenn's gone, I'm
not interested in it. That didn't happen. No, So it
was the conversation didn't make sense.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
No, it didn't make sense at all.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
But you must have assumed we wouldn't speak to each other.
I don't know, I address it. Maybe it would show
how little.
Speaker 3 (20:32):
Knew you everything, the good, the bad, or the ugly,
like to clear as we said before. Yeah, so then
you said to me that's not actually what I said.
This is what I said. And I was just like
a little bit caught of guy because I was like,
got ship. I was like, so now it's out there,
and I risked.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
My fear was at risk ruining our friendship because I
would not have ruined our friendship for a relationship. So
if I thought there was any chance you had no
interest in me, I would not have ever anything to
you because I wouldn't want to because that gets makes
a friendship awkward and our coaching relationship and everything. So
I wouldn't have done that. And so I wasn't ready
fast to have that conversation by any stretch of the imagination.
(21:16):
And then he kind of forced us into that situation,
which was could have really went bad, and it turned
out really good. So thank you, I guess.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
But yeah. So, but then one of the big things
for me was that as soon as I called him
to call him out on that, he didn't immediately tell
me the truth on what he did. He immediately lied
again and said and then at this point, it's not
only that you've lied, you're actively trying to make me
(21:44):
guess between who is telling the truth. And that's such
a messed up situation to put somebody else in.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
He was doubly down.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
Yeah, so I'm thinking, well, given your track record on
not telling the truth, not yours his, I'm going to
go Glenn on this one.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
But they're not. The risk was that I become another
man that lies to you.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
So imagine if I did believe the thing you believe him,
and then you and I wouldn't have continued a coaching relationship.
We wouldn't be here today. You know, I wouldn't be
one step closer to my boxing dreams. Not that that's
all that it was about, but back then it was
because that's all we were to each other.
Speaker 4 (22:22):
Well, we were.
Speaker 3 (22:22):
Friends, don't get me wrong, but the main relationship between
us was that you were my coach and I was
your athlete. So imagine if I believed him and I said, Glenn,
you can go jump, and then we never spoke to
each other again. He would run, I'm assuming he would
run with that lie to his grave. And that is
such a.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
And he made accusations that I was. He's lying to you.
He's just manipulating.
Speaker 3 (22:45):
He's manipulating you. He's not the person that you think
that he is. He's not the person.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
And this guy doesn't know me.
Speaker 4 (22:51):
Excuse me. He's not the person that you know.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
His person is one step. When this all first started,
early on in your separation, he rang me out of
the blue and I didn't have his number on my phone.
I was like, oh okay, and he said, I want
to talk about out. You know what's happening his relationship
with Millie and get some advice because I know you're
the personal development guy. And I'm like, and I had
I was taking the kids somewhere to macas or something
(23:13):
like you're Samuel and some of the boys for the
first time they ever driven in the army. I'm like, oh,
I can't have this conversation right now because you know.
And so then he rang me back. Hours later, I
rang him back and he just said, I want advice.
I want to know how to get her back. And
I said, I cannot give you advice on that really
is my person like in a coaching sense, as in
(23:35):
a personal development sense even or a therapist or a
psychologist or anything. You can't be working with two people.
Speaker 3 (23:41):
But also you knew that that's not something that would
ever cross my mind. Again, I just don't be.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
Told to me. Then it was all about how I've
done everything for her. I supported her business when it
was struggling, and none of those things turned out to
be true. And I told you, I'm very honest with that.
I just said, hey, this is what I was told.
And that just made you angry because you're like, that's
just all lies. So the whole scenario it was. It
could have ruined a friendship, It could have ruined what
(24:08):
is now a good relationship.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
Fortunately, to put two people in front of somebody for
them to guess which one is the liar, I think
is such a messed up thing for somebody. It is
very manipulated. But it's such a head f I know
we don't swear on this podcast, but it really is.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
But it's almost if I'm not going to have her,
I'm going to try and ruin your relationship, even if
it was just a friendship because I'm a bit jealous
of what's happening over here. Even if he's unsure if
it's a relationship, it is, but I'm just going to
ruin that as well. That's crazy to me that you're
willing to ruin someone else's friendship because I can't have you,
(24:49):
so no one's gonna have you.
Speaker 4 (24:50):
That's crazy.
Speaker 3 (24:52):
So I guess from that point on it just turned
really bad. There was a little bit of physical.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
Well before the physical we were called out. Basically, I
was out moving some stuff because we weren't living together
or anything by those stages, and you rang me and
said he wants to meet us together. And he's going
to prove that you're lying.
Speaker 4 (25:14):
Oh yeah, that's right.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
I'm like okay.
Speaker 3 (25:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (25:19):
So we actually did go to his so we said yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
And I didn't know what to expect, you know, like
I wasn't worried physically, like I wasn't feeling fearful or
any harm. Like I know how to fight and I'm
a big man and all that sort of stuff, So
I wasn't worried about that. But it was just like,
this is a weird situation to be called into because.
Speaker 3 (25:37):
You know that what you were saying was facts, and
so for him to be like run with that life
so hard to the point where he's like, come to
my house, sit down in front of me. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
He thought we wouldn't turn up.
Speaker 4 (25:47):
Yeah, but we turned up.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
I didn't talk at all. I just sat.
Speaker 3 (25:53):
Yeah I did.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
I didn't need to because there was nothing put on
the table that went against anything that I said. In fact,
it was the first time I saw you in a
proper argument where you just had facts and said do
you want me to You had to take the messages
because then he said I didn't say that. I didn't
say yeah you did. I've got that you want me
to read the message.
Speaker 4 (26:14):
Yeah, let me get the rest of he.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
Said to her. I don't want you to read the message.
She read the message and it just went south and
I was like, now you're presented with the written fact
that you're lying. That's crazy that.
Speaker 4 (26:27):
You put yourself in that situation.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
I'm going to double down in this to the point
where I deny, deny, deny until it's there it is okay,
you got me.
Speaker 4 (26:37):
It is a bit wild. So I guess at that
point I was very.
Speaker 3 (26:44):
I guess, like set with my decision of not continuing
the marriage.
Speaker 4 (26:50):
You know, I had already been.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
Set, but at that point I was like, yeah, man, damn,
like this is I'm really really glad that I didn't
continue for the rest of my life in this sort
of situation. I don't know what else you could be
lying to me about.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
You know, doubt.
Speaker 3 (27:05):
Yeah, yeah, So that's basically what happened. It then escalated,
you know, because we did again try and be polite
to each other. I still love the kids, you know.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
Can I just say then what happened was now on
the table was the fact that I was interested in you,
and then the conversation was well actually so am. I
and I went away overseas and there was you know,
nothing had happened at this stage, but there was just
some messages. And then one day I said to you
all you said to me, I'll miss you. Look I
just and I meant by that, I miss how conversations.
(27:39):
I miss you, and then and then you set it
back or vices. I can't remember how it went. Then
I said it first, and then I remember said I
miss you too, And I remember going to bed thinking
this is potentially a thing.
Speaker 4 (27:50):
Just because I did.
Speaker 3 (27:51):
And I never connected with somebody on the level that
we've connected.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
So and that answers a question from last week when
someone said, how did it change so suddenly? That's now
that I think that that's the moment where it really
changed for me, when you said you missed me, and
I said, oh, because I go away a lot, not
that really. And I've got friends and that who are
excited when I come home, like did you And people
are like, oh, you know you and catch up to
the breakfast. Haven't seen you for a few weeks. But
I've never had anyone actually say I miss you.
Speaker 3 (28:15):
You know, at that point, you know, you had already
been introduced to my kids, you know, as a friend,
even when he was still in the picture. You'd already
met my kids, that'd come to the gym, you know,
all of that sort of stuff, and you know, my
friends meet my kids. You know, if you're going to
be in my life, you're going to meet my kids
because they go a lot of places with me. So yeah,
(28:37):
so yeah, I had already met my kids. We had
already developed a connection. You know, there was already this
level of trust between us. And then when he you know,
did all that and basically forced us to have that conversation,
I realized, yeah, look same. I guess I just didn't
want to think about it or admit it because I
was going through something else and I thought it was maybe.
Speaker 4 (28:58):
Too early, And you know, I did still think it
was too.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
In hindsight, it probably was, you know, just based on
I guess norms. But I don't regret anything.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
And it put a lot of pressure on our early
relationship then because it was forced into the fire and
we weren't really ready for that. And so You're still
dealing with your stuff and I've got stuff going on
and within the business and other things. It was like,
all right, now we're kind of together, and that was
pretty intense earlier. If we're really honest, and often when
(29:28):
we've had a few little struggles, I will say to
mel we started this relationship far more intensely than most people,
and there's so many moving parts in who we are
and who we want to be, and who our past
was and everything in between. Was just thrown into this
melting pot by by this guy that was like damn,
(29:49):
And maybe he could have got his aim and it
could have ruined it. But I think it's made us
stronger and we're not infallible. I always think this, and
we've told as We've really put ourselves out there doing
a podcast like this because we're publicly in a relationship,
publicly right and if anything ever went wrong, that's going
to be public too. And that's intense. That's tactic. I'm
(30:12):
up for that. They't get me wrong, because I'm in
this for the rest of my life. But yeah, just
you realize and you put yourself under the microscope. So
it's pretty intense. I want to address till death do
us part. What happened to loyalty? I'm lord is one
of my strengths. I'm law to people to a fault,
but you have to have non negotiables in your life
(30:34):
because you go from being loyal to being used. And
what I've learned when it comes to loyalty, some people
are loyal to you and some people are loyal to
the need of you. Yeah, and as soon as you
stop providing a thing, the loyalty stops. And so I
don't think you should be lawty to the point where
you're hurting yourself. And you need to know when you're
(30:54):
being used or when you're being disrespected or any of those.
Speaker 3 (30:58):
Loyalty of One of the biggest things for me in
loyalty though, is having your back behind your back, which clearly.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
So the law to go. You didn't stay in the madiner.
Speaker 4 (31:11):
There wasn't any in there apparently, so yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
I didn't think of that point. But that's a good point.
And then the other parts of conversation or that question,
and that is a very attacking question. And I understand
that I'm not going to give you leeway for that
question whoever wrote it, but I'm going to say this
that you've written that with a perception of how you
believe it already played it.
Speaker 4 (31:32):
Yeah, so you've asked a question, But you already believe what.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
You are and we're not here to change your mind.
You can think all this is garbage. Cool. I'm not
here to convince. I'm not losing sleep over this. But
I do know that how things played out, and I
do understand the connection that we have, and I do
understand how it might look to other people. But I've
also watched people staying five, ten, fifteen, twenty year relationships
(31:55):
that are not healthy, and I don't know that that's
good for you. I watched my own parents do that
for years, where I don't really remember a time that
they were in love and got on and all that
suff So when they finally split up, I was like,
my thirties, I've lived down home at fourteen and when
they rang us are you're sitting down? And was like, okay,
Like that should happen years ago for everyone's sake, because
I don't. And people say they stay together for the kids,
(32:16):
I don't know that that's healthy. And that's a whole
other conversation, because your kids shouldn't see you in an
unhealthy relationship.
Speaker 3 (32:23):
There's a lot of messed up people in our generation
from our parents or you know that generation going we'll
stay together for the kids, and there's a lot of
messed up people, so it's not like you did us
any favors, like.
Speaker 2 (32:33):
I actively love you. In front of the boys, we
will hug and kiss and you'll sit on my lap
and we'll talk. And I think it's healthy for children
to see that. We've had people in the past, right
in engls and on our social media, like he's up
on the PDAs and I think, well, we don't really
do any publicly, but he's holding hands or hugging or sitting.
(32:53):
But in front of the boys, there's a little bit
more because they need to know that we're important to
each other, that they're Our love for them is unconditional.
But this is a relationship to that we've chosen and you,
and it should be respected as as such. So you know,
whether it was forced to happen a little bit quicker
sometimes I think a bit more time would have been nice,
(33:14):
But also I think it is what it is that.
Speaker 4 (33:17):
Happens in my belief when it's supposed.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
To, even if we don't understand it at the time.
Speaker 4 (33:22):
Yeah, So.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
Yeah, the way that question was formulated is what it is.
In the second or third part of that was maybe
this is why you cop some flat. Well, no, because
it's not true. So we copt flat because of people's
perceptions of And that's okay too, because I'm not need
to change your perceptions. I will say this, I will
talk about our relationship every episode if there's a genuine
(33:46):
interest in that. But I'd also like to put it
to bed all of this stuff, because you know it's
very emotional for you, and I will just want to
acknowledge how brave it was for you to even talk
about this, because it is a pretty personal topic and
it is something that we almost should keep to ourselves,
but we live our lives publicly, so I don't want
(34:06):
to have to address this again if I'm really honest
and put you in that situation. But if we can
address any pieces of our relationship that help you the
people watching or listening, I'm here for that. So I
don't think enough people talk about healthy relationships.
Speaker 3 (34:22):
And leaving when you think you should, and you know,
staying when you probably should.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
End or working on it when you should, yeah, you know,
rather than just going you know what, We've been married
ten years, she's not going anywhere. Well, no, you shouldn't
get the luxury of mistreating someone thinking they're not going
to leave. Because to add into that, you shared a
video with me recently about the p and G culture
(34:48):
of the bride price. Yes, which is where or do
you want to explain that well.
Speaker 3 (34:53):
So, bride price is basically where the man's family pay
the bride's family an amount of money or sometimes it
can be gifts such as Matt's or.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
Or pigs and chickens.
Speaker 3 (35:07):
Pigs, so, pigs is a big one as well, cows, chickens,
any sort of farm animal that they can eat, lots
of fish, and it usually comes with cash as well,
depending on how wealthy the man's family is or depending
on what they think that they should give. And it's
a massive thing in Papua New Guinea and other places
(35:27):
that have this sort of bride prices. Because the man
has paid for the wife, she has to stay no
matter what, and he can treat her however he wants
to treat her, so he.
Speaker 4 (35:38):
Could nearly murder her.
Speaker 3 (35:40):
There's domestic violence is massive in Papua New Guinea and
I really hope that that's something that'll on the way
to change.
Speaker 2 (35:46):
We're police have even sent women back saying well.
Speaker 3 (35:48):
Yeah, your family's paid, so you've got to go back. Yeah,
it's wild. Yeah, you've got to stay in that situation.
That's your that's your husband. You made a commitment to him,
so till.
Speaker 4 (35:57):
Death do us part.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
So he's my challenge for people listening to that. If
you're challenged by that, and then you're also saying, but
what about to death to us part? You're doing the
same thing. It's maybe not necessarily in attached physical violence
or there's not worse to say you have to stay,
but the societal norm is you really should stay. You know, oh,
five months, you mustn't have worked hard enough on keeping it.
(36:19):
But also red flags are red flags, and boundaries are boundaries.
And I've experienced in my life, not even in personal relationships,
in client relationships, where people have constantly not only stepped over,
but trampled on boundaries, and I've learn it happen for
far too long, and then it's almost on you at
that point, well why do you let it go that far?
So I think you really need to be soldent in boundaries.
(36:41):
And now the difference is in a healthy relationship is
we get to discuss those boundaries and not be too
defensive where possible, and learn from it. So you yes,
I get a little bit defensive sometimes and seemingly innocuous things,
but that's for me. I have to deal with that.
But what I have to understand is how it makes
you feel. But ultimately, so far we've always managed to
(37:02):
work through it and get to the next age of
less and less of that behavior because I know you
don't like that and more of this behavior. Yeah, So
I think all in all, I'd love to end these
conversations and stick to things that help you as the
listener and watch her to grow and to develop them,
because it's the building better Humans project. But also feel
(37:23):
like our relationship and how it started and the divorce,
it's a wide elephant in the room, so if we
don't discuss it, it's always in the room. So now
it's it's out of the room.
Speaker 4 (37:34):
It's done.
Speaker 3 (37:35):
So there you go. That's why I got divorced. No,
I didn't leave my husband for Glenn.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
Even that thought is such a low opinion of a
human to think that they would leave when someone better
comes along, whatever better looks on, Because if that's who
you are, then what's my fear that someone younger, more attractive, wealthier,
whatever the thing is that I think I don't have,
you're going to leave because that's that's what you're saying.
(38:05):
This woman's about. That's the right answer and vice for this.
But again, I just want to acknowledge the courage it
takes to answer questions like that, and hopefully that's now
understood and we can now move on and just talk
about personment because all of these tough things of who
(38:27):
we are, that's what's brought us to be who we are.
So when I was youngest, I'm never going to regret
anything in my life. And I don't know if I
regret things, even though I've used that word in the past.
But I look back at things and wished I made
better decisions. I wish I'd not done or said things
that I've done or said. I wished I totally not
(38:48):
found myself in a situation whatever. I do think that,
and the large part of that is having tried to
follow society's norms. It takes a lot of courage to
not follow society. I heard a quote recently that said
that the world is so fuss away from the truth
that it hates some people who tell the truth. And
(39:11):
how I took that to mean is that if you
want to live an authentic life, you have to live
to your own truth. But too often where formed, I
wonder how many people are in a relationship, or in
a job, or in a thing because that's what mum
and dad thought was a good idea. That's what society
says a good idea, and they hate it. I just
think that's true. I wouldn't say a friend, but a
(39:32):
guy that I knew well years ago, and he was
a doctor in Timba and he owned his own little
GP practice and his wife was very driven around business
side of things, but he just liked being a doctor.
And they ended up moving into this big medical suite
that he was a part owner of and he had
the maserati and all of the stuff. And I think she,
and I'm not blaming how, I'm just saying she was
(39:52):
really driven around that the image and the owning the things,
and they just had everything. They're in, they're big in
the private school systems. And then one day he just
killed himself, and people like what he had everything, But
you don't know if he had everything. All you know
is that he had everything that society says is everything.
So there was obviously something not right or something missing,
or there's there was just like to the outside word,
(40:14):
it was like what like confusing, but internally there must
have been something happening. And to me, that's a very
extreme example of if you let society's norms dictate your
every action, but you know it's inauthentic to you. Man,
I'd prefer to be authentic to myself and living out
in the boondock somewhere and no one knows who I am.
I've chosen to live this public life. You've chosen to
(40:37):
live that with me. If Billy came into my world
and was totally not about social media and not wanting
to live the public life, then I wouldn't even talk
about our relationship anywhere. But we are public people and
we're open to being challenged.
Speaker 3 (40:51):
We are We did reach out for questions. We've got
questions where answering honestly, and I.
Speaker 2 (40:56):
Would love to going forward, maybe have a theme. So
maybe we picked something that we would love you to
give us your opinion of, and we might talk about
our opinion of that and other people's opinions. Because I
think social media and podcasts are really a part of
the social media landscape. I think they can be so positive.
We can learn so much about how other humans behave
(41:18):
and think, and no one's perfect and no one's a guru,
but we can all learn from each other. Yeah, and
that's the community that we're trying to create. It's another
great episode. We're going to put some links out for
more questions and yeah, we look forward to it.
Speaker 3 (41:34):
Yeah, I can't wait.
Speaker 1 (41:38):
Thanks for listening to this episode of the Building Better
Humans Podcast with your host Glenna's a for feedback. To
stay up to date or go back and find an
old episode, head over to one ady dot net don Au. Yeah,
the Building Better Humans Project pocas, let's go
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