June 1, 2025 • 40 mins
This week on Mayhem Monday's we're answering some pretty tough questions. But we're here for it.
ADVENTURE WITH GLENN
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Apoja Production.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Hey, team Glenn here walking back to the building. Better
Humans Project podcast. This is Mayhem Monday.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
Hello, I Mayhem.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
So we've obviously put out a link, and the reason
we're videoing these ones is we've asked people to ask
us questions and we use an ng on link to
do that. Now, for those that don't know angel Is,
it stands we're not going to lie, and it means
that people can ask questions anonymously. Anonymously, so we figured
that that would open people up to ask what they
really want to know.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
Yeah, and there were some ones that came through.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Yeah, and there were something that were I'm going to
say negative or had negative connotations, and I don't mind.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
That me neither really, you know whatever. Whatever, We don't.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Lie to our faces. Tell me what you think.
Speaker 4 (00:54):
Yeah, and we don't really run our lives based on
what people think, but it is nice to know, and
we did ask for this, so yeah, and.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Then there are lots of normal questions. So this isn't
meant to be a podcast just about our relationship. It's
meant to be a podcast about anything personal development related.
And the reason we come up with this idea is
a million I have lots of deep conversations around personal development,
around goals and dreams and all of that sort of stuff.
And we've both been in relationships before and you've said
(01:23):
this to me where you were driving. All the conversation
there's nothing coming back, and so we don't have that's
not our relationship. No, So then we thought, well, why
not give people an insight lo we if I could,
I'd recorded sometimes us just driving in the car because
we have really really deep conversations and we.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Actively challenge each other's views.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Daily sometimes thrice. I just want to So the questions
we have some have been boxing related, some have been
personal development related, some have been relationship related, not to us,
all sorts of things, and so we're going to keep
doing these links, and we want you to ask whatever
(02:04):
you want to ask, anything.
Speaker 4 (02:05):
That's been on your mind. If you want to ask us,
whether it be about our personal lives, you know, most
things are not off limits.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
So we'll do our best to answer them.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
So let's start. We're going to I'm going to go
through the questions that are related to Million II in
a relationship sense, and by that I mean boxing, our
coaching relationship and our personal relationship. Because there's a couple
of those. So this first one says, and I guess
this is to me, but we will both answer this,
(02:38):
how do you balance coaching Millie and being in a relationship.
And for me, and we've talked a little bit about
this in different avenues in the past, but I want
to do this in this format. For me, we set
really clear boundaries early that the boxing coaching relationship was
always going to be non negotiable. Yes, and by that,
I mean, you know, we can be having a fight
(03:00):
at home because we're normal people and we have different
opinions on things, and we have emotions and all of that.
But when we walk into boxing gym, we box, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
Box, we train, We keep it professional. We're not doing
around and then talking about our fight or we just
leave that all behind. Not behind, but we'll come back
to that and we train because that's very important part
of our life and we want to keep it that way.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
So, and you're very driven to achieve This isn't a novelty.
Boxing is not a novelty, no, And so you want
to go as far as you can go now someone
starting a boxing career later, your children and all that
sort of stuff. You've done. It could be easy to
say how good would it be to win a state
title or maybe a national title. But we've done the
state title, We've won a national title in puppy in Guinea.
(03:44):
We'll aim for our next fight in Australasian title and
so and so. And you said to me once, I
only go as far as I can. If I fight
for a world title and I don't win it, so
be it. But I don't want to stop in an
Australian title. I think I want how far I could win.
Speaker 4 (03:59):
I do want to see where we can go with boxing.
You know, we're not doing this just for a hobby.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
So therefore, if we don't respect the coaching relationship, then
I shouldn't coach you. And we've had that conversation obviously.
You know I've said to you once admittedly, but you know,
maybe someone else needs to coach you if we if
it and you in the early stages really is a
much better memory than I do.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
I'm going to just put that out there, but that
be on the.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
On the but I think you said something along the
lines of in the early stages that if our personal
relationship somehow affected the boxing relationship, then you wouldn't want
the personal relationship. Yeah, I hope that's changed.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
It has. It has definitely very much.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
From a boxing relationship a coaching relationship. I want what's
best for you and so, and this is the same
for any athlete I've trained. If I don't think I'm
the right person for you, I will walk away from
that at some point. And in our case, it would
be a conversation saying I've got you this far, I
think it's time for you too, But you know that's
that's not.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
The case yet. Don't say yet. I don't think that's
going to be the case.
Speaker 4 (05:02):
I think that we have a very good coaching athlete
relationship and we always have. So you've taught me so
much in such a short period of time, and I'm
you know, yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Well.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
The reason I say yet is because I've said to
you a few times I don't know if I'm that
good at boxing coach, and you've always said I am,
you are. But one day you might outgrow my knowledge
and then we need to say, well, what's the next step.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
I feel like you'll be an active part of that though.
If you feel that, then you will, because you're always learning.
You're not somebody who just stops and goes I know
everything because of my years of experience in boxing. There's
always something for you to learn. There's always something that
someone can teach you, and you're just that person. So
if I thought that you're you know, this is the
way that it is, this is what I know, and
(05:44):
this is all I can teach you, then we probably
wouldn't be in this both relationships.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Yeah, yeah, to be fair, And that was a point
I was going to make when I was in America.
I spent eight months in America a couple of years
ago with some athletes, and what I noticed over there
is the coaches were so collaborative, Like I'm training people
that I never thought I would train, just because they
saw one thing I did. And then to my help,
one of those being Shane Mosley Jr. Just asked if
I would help him with a thing, and his dad,
(06:11):
who was three or four time world champions there, his
coach is there, and I'm like, coach, is that all right?
He says, yeah, go for it.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
I love that there's always something someone else knows.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Yeah, And then his coach are jump in and helped
my fighters, and no one takes it personally, but in
Australia that's a little bit different.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
Yeah, people get really gate kippy.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Yeah, so your thoughts around our relationship in both senses, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (06:32):
We do really well in separating the two and so
it's not much else that we can say about that
because we really do nail that in my opinion.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
So this next question is similar, and these questions are
going to be similar, I guess in some way. This
one just says, as both a coach and partner, how
do you create healthy boundaries that support trust, growth and
respect in both roles. It's a little bit deeper again, Yeah,
healthy boundaries. I think if I could have an opinion
on that, it would be that you're very good at
setting very strong boundaries even if they challenge me or
(07:03):
upset me. And I mean that in a positive.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
Thanks, because I took that as well.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Yeah, because too often people I want to set a boundary,
but I don't want to upset you in the process. Yeah,
and I've not experienced that from you.
Speaker 4 (07:15):
I've definitely been that way in the past, maybe when
I was much younger, and I guess I learned from
that because I've, like you know, put myself in situations
where I didn't set boundaries and it just didn't work
out very well for me.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
So this next question, what do you think makes your
relationship work so well despite the age gap? And what
can others learn from it? So the age gap question
is going to come up a lot.
Speaker 4 (07:38):
Yes, and I think that challenges a lot of people,
not only us, but like you know, anyone who's got
an age gap, people always have something to say about that.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
And yeah, so what does make it work?
Speaker 3 (07:51):
Our shared values?
Speaker 4 (07:54):
You know the fact that we do have deep and meaningful,
meaningful conversations about.
Speaker 3 (07:59):
You know, anything and everything.
Speaker 4 (08:02):
When we first started talking, you know, I said, the
fact that you're so you go back to my country
so much. I just love that about you. You know,
there are so many things to us that we can
just go.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
On and on and on and on.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
So yeah, we've had other questions come up here around
relationships which are not directly related to us, and so
I like these questions as well. So this one here says,
how do you keep the spark in the relationship? Definitely
out of the honeymoon phase in my relationship and we
have a baby together.
Speaker 4 (08:36):
I feel like the honeymoon phase is not something that
is a phase. I think that it should always be there,
and it's something that you have to work on in
your relationship. Like think about all the things that you
used to do or you did or said or reacted to,
or the way that you were when you were in
this honeymoon phase. You have to continue doing those things,
(08:58):
you know. So if you let something slide, that is
not really that much of a big deal in the
hun honeymoon phase. But you don't anymore, say whether he
leaves something on the counter or something like that, like
you know, just let it's light. It's not that big
of a deal, like you let it go once, you know. Yeah,
So for things like.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
That, for me, keeping the spark is I think having
really honest communications with people. So again, and I'm going
to kind of go back to this, we can have
conversations that upset each other, Yeah, and it's okay to
be upset and you might need to go away and
process that. And then I should say that Millie and
I both handle upset differently. So when we're upset with
(09:41):
each other, I'm a physical touch person. I want to
hold your hand. I want to I want to know
that we're still okay and you're like I've already told
you we're okay, but you need to walk away from me. Yeah,
And that's been a challenge for us because this is
love language type stuff. I'm talking in my love language
of needing you to hold my hand, and you're like,
that's the last thing I want to do, right, And
then my brain will say, well, maybe she doesn't love me.
(10:03):
That's a legitimate fear of mine. I guess in the
sense that I moved out a home at a young age,
I didn't really grow up in a house full of love.
This is me analyzing it very not emotionally now. But therefore,
my experience is that anyone that you think that you
love what that loves you walks away from you at
some point, whether it be your um and dad or
whatever the case may be. So then I feel like
(10:25):
you could just leave me in a heartbeat. Now that
you tell me that's not real, but that's what my
feeling is, then your feeling and you can correct me
if I'm wrong. Here is that when I just want
to touch you or be around it, it's like, get
away from me. I just need a break from you.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
Yeah, well, yeah, I guess you.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Know, because you need time to process.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
I need time to process. I feel like.
Speaker 4 (10:48):
If we hold hands and do the huggy thing and
whatever else that you need, it's that we're going to
the issue and never talk about it again, and so
I'm not there yet.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
Yeah, so that's how I feel about that.
Speaker 4 (11:00):
But keeping in the honeymoon phase, I feel like you
do have to keep working on it. You have to,
you know, in the usually in this at the start
of relationships, people will go out on dates a lot,
and they'll really prioritize each other and you know, say
all the things and oh, you look beautiful today, and
then you know, if those things start slipping and slipping
(11:20):
and slipping, then you can say that you're out of
the honeymoon phase. And then some people will settle into that.
But I feel like it's something that you always have
to continue.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
So yeah, yeah, And it's one thing again I love
is that you if you're not happy with a behavior,
you think I'm not showing anymore, you will tell me. Yeah,
Because I know for me, and it's maybe most males
to be very generalist, but I get very driven around
work and the things we're doing because we don't have
normal jobs, and so what we're trying to do in
(11:50):
the youth space, and hopefully we'll talk about that on
future podcasts. It's really big and it's really powerful. Yeah,
so then you know me, I'll be up at two
thir three o'clock in the morning doing stuff and then
you know, you'll get tired and you'll and that becomes
an excuse for people not to show their love and
their care and their and you'll say, you never do
this or you never do that, And I think I
(12:10):
do it all the time, right, But we're just I
know what I'm feeling inside and I need to take
on board and maybe I'm not expressing it outwardly.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
But then also when you give that feedback, when your
partner gives your feedback, not taking it as criticism.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
Yeah, yeah, that's a hard one for a lot of people.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
Which I'm really bad. This question here is trying.
Speaker 3 (12:32):
To attack you.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Yeah, this question here is says so happy for you
and Millie, thank you. I'm in a similar situation with
age gaps. Has it ever been a challenge and strategy
to deal with society's norms? I love this question because
I don't think it's been a challenge for us.
Speaker 4 (12:50):
I don't think so either. I was just about to say,
and I was really hoping that you would agree. But
because I was just about to say, I don't think
it's been a challenge at all. I think it's been
relatively smooth.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
But society's norms.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
Society's norms.
Speaker 4 (13:03):
So for me, it comes down to you blocking out
that noise and not caring what other people think.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
And you know, I.
Speaker 4 (13:12):
Used to run this a lot on my page, on
my person on my Instagram, like, you know, stop limiting
your life based on other people's opinions. And so if
you think you want to do something, but you're worried
about what somebody else might think, like what are you doing?
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Interestingly, for me, a lot of people say they don't
care about other people's opinions, Like I think everyone thinks
that at some level, and that's not true for most people, no.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
One hundred percent.
Speaker 4 (13:40):
But what I'm trying to say there is, if you
want to do something but you're not doing it specifically
because of other people's opinions, stop doing that.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Do the thing.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
But what I was going to say, because I wasn't finished, No,
what I was going to say is that a lot
of people, if not. Most people say they don't care
about other people's opinions, and they do. You're one of
the few people that actually doesn't. Yeah, so you will
show up a certain way, you'll do a certain thing,
and how people want to view that. You don't then think, oh,
maybe I should tone it down a little bit for them.
Speaker 4 (14:11):
No, I honestly I've lived through that, maybe when I
was a teenager.
Speaker 3 (14:17):
What do you mean, where does that not care?
Speaker 2 (14:19):
I think it takes Yeah, I don't think it's not caring.
I think it takes a level of self confidence to
be who you truly are the whole world's looking for.
I get a lot of questions through the podcast how
do I develop self confidence? And then when people are
self confident, they're arrogant, or they're over confident, or they're
narcissistic or these words of people throw around and you go, well,
how do you win it? So, how do you have
(14:41):
self confidence, particularly as a woman, when the world is
constantly sending you messages that you just need to tone
it down a little bit.
Speaker 4 (14:48):
It's definitely a learned and a practiced everyday behavior and
feeling like you know, there are sometimes where I go, oh,
but then I remind myself, I'm not going to be
limited by what other people think, because you know they're
not paying my bills.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
You know, then you wouldn't chase dreams. Yeah, you can't
take up boxing at thirty because someone else started when
they were ten. Yeah, you know, and that's an old
Chinese Probably the best time to plant a tree was
twenty years ago, but the second best time is today. Yeah,
so why not start? So? Yeah, I just think that self.
If you were to work on one personal development skill
(15:25):
for people listening, work on yourself confidence. Yeah, but to
do that, you're going to have to deal with people
trying to pull you back a little bit, or people
because most people's the reason most people do that to
you is because they feel something inside themselves when they
see someone chasing a goal or a drink. Like I
get told I was going to say regularly, but I'll
say semi regularly. I get told that I'm arrogant and
(15:47):
I'm actually not. But I am confident, so I don't
let people talk me down.
Speaker 4 (15:53):
Glenn has this joke where he always like I'll say
something and he'll be like, this is why I like confidence,
and I'm like, that is the last thing you lack
is confidence.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
I love your confidence.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Yeah, And I think it's a massive trait for people,
because how do you do what you do? How do
we develop young people if we don't have the confidence
to be who we are? So when I run youth programs,
bro camps and nailers and those sort of things, I
used to always and I haven't run mine for a
little while, and we were about to get back into it.
But I used to say teaching personal development in the
sense of public speaking. Most kids take public speaking, most
(16:26):
adults take publics. But I say, when you get the
confidence to stand up in front of the world and speak,
you get to tell the world who you are. If not,
the world tells you who you are.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
And I don't think that's a good thing.
Speaker 4 (16:38):
A lot of, you know, self confidence issues, in my opinion,
I stem from what are they going to think?
Speaker 3 (16:47):
Who as they?
Speaker 2 (16:49):
So the mythical they of which this next question is
going to have the mythical they in them. When I
first read this question, I'll be honest, I was a
little bit triggered in the sense of it was almost offensive,
just the way it was termed. We don't know who
wrote these. We can have some guesses but whatever, But
what the questions that come through a lot of people
(17:10):
genuinely wanted help with stuff or advice and stuff, but
this one I felt was more just having a dig
and that's fine, But it said despite the age gap,
do you not feel it's also an abusive power giving
you or her coach? In the beginning, I feel it's
slightly inappropriate to get romantically involved with a client, especially
when you're trying to create, and they put in the
old inverted commas better humans. Many others agree with me,
(17:33):
but what you're taking it so I want to break
this down very quickly before we answer it. Talking about
the age gap is one thing talking about an abusive
power in my mind, and I'm sure Millie will bring
this up. It suggests that she's like some little girl
that doesn't have her own strength, and that's clearly something
that doesn't know her. But the thing that gets me
is whenever I do something that people don't agree with
(17:55):
in any way, shape or form, they always try me.
Aren't you supposed to build better humans? Like as if
I have to do things the way they want it done.
But the big thing for me in this whole question
is the many others agree with me. I think that
is the laziest way to justify your position on something,
to say, well, many others agree something must be right.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (18:13):
It's very like rope the village in and yeah, we.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
Need to let them know where they stand.
Speaker 4 (18:20):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, because all of us over here, I
think this thing about you guys like men. There's so
many things about the way that this person thinks, and
that's structured into this paragraph.
Speaker 3 (18:34):
Like first of all, abuse of power, which they're accusing
you of, would suggest that you're some seedy guy who
actively goes around and finds athletes to abuse, you know
what I mean.
Speaker 4 (18:49):
And it's just I'm really really hoping that this person
isn't friends with us or you know, I don't even
know why they follow us, because if that's what you
think about you, like, please unfollow and please don't say
hello to me because.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
We don't know who you are. So this is not
even a person, No, it's just.
Speaker 4 (19:06):
It's just like, why would you want to be friends
with somebody who you think goes around trying to abuse
their power like you have worked with so many athletes
of so many different ages, both male and female. That
is just not something that's a reputation of yours.
Speaker 3 (19:22):
Number one.
Speaker 4 (19:22):
Number two, that's not something that I've seen in you,
and you know if you And then the second thing
how you mentioned, you know.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
That for you to abuse your power would suggest.
Speaker 4 (19:33):
That I'm this vulnerable little girl who can't make my
own decisions.
Speaker 3 (19:37):
Like have you met me? You know?
Speaker 4 (19:41):
You know there's two things. There's two things about that.
You know if you knew me, you would know about me.
And that's number one. I despise ced men who try
and push a boundary Like I could be in public
and if someone staring at me, I will look you
dead in the eye and I will say, what the are.
Speaker 3 (19:59):
You looking at?
Speaker 4 (20:00):
And it's just because I find it so disrespectful. So
if I came to you, you know, wanting you to
coach me, and you were some ceedy guy trying to
push boundaries, and.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
We wouldn't be sitting here right now. I would have
ended that. So that's one thing that you should know
about me if you do know me. And number two
is that I'm a leaver. I will leave. So if
I if.
Speaker 4 (20:23):
I don't like something, if something's not working out for me,
no matter how short or long, that relationship or friendship
or any sort of ship has you know been I
will leave immediately. So honestly, if if you are somebody
who abused your power in that way, we wouldn't be
sitting here right now, because I'm not a I'm not
(20:44):
a dumb.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
And to be fair, you warned me of that very
early and consistently. You said that you know, if anything's
not right, I'll walk away and never think about you again,
which is a.
Speaker 3 (20:57):
It sounds so mean, but I don't what.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
You're saying though, And then this is where you've got
to work out each other's triggers, because one of my
triggers is that people leave and then really would say
to me, I will leave in a heartbeat if things
aren't right. And that's not to say you run out
of a friendship or relationship at the first time of trouble,
not at all, but it's to say, if I'm being
actively disrespected, I will walk away from this scene and
(21:20):
I won't think about you again. I feel like we're
in a different stage where relationship now.
Speaker 4 (21:24):
But then there's also that bit that you talked about.
Many others agree with me. What did you guys like
have a meeting and did you stand up in front
of all these people like first on the agenda, Glenn
and Millie and then who else I know? And then
if that's what you did, then you know, maybe your
life is so perfect in every aspect of it. So
you know your relationships are perfect, your health and fitness
is perfect, everything about you is perfect, because if it's not,
(21:47):
then you should be on the agenda and you and
your little mates should be talking about that.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
And the other thing is you're either got everything perfect
or it's so dysfunctional, but you don't want to talk
about that, so you need to look at other people. Yeah,
because I can honestly say, and of all the people
I've met through my life and all the friendships and
relationships that I've dealt with, I've never sat at home
and talked about someone's relationship.
Speaker 4 (22:12):
No, And I'm never like like, I don't know how
this person got all the people that you're talking about,
But like, did you ring around.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
Many others so much topic?
Speaker 3 (22:20):
Did we call and be like, hey.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
If I could out offer a counter argument to whoever
this is? And again, this isn't personal because we don't
know you, and I kind of hope you're not someone
that pretends to be. The counter argument is I shared
a lot of these questions and the amount of feedback
that I got like, who the hell is that? Why
do these people follow you if they're And I tend
to agree. So I'm not attached to my followers as such.
(22:45):
I respect people that love what I do. I fully
respect that, but I don't sit there of a nighttime
and think I lost three more followers. I lost ten followers.
I'm not about that. And I years and years ago,
I was had a gym and I had trainers there
that were social media was new and they were trying
to build their followings, and particularly for the women trainers,
they could put up you know, them looking fit and healthy,
(23:08):
and they'd have three hundred likes on it, and then
they put up something wholesome about and they get twenty likes. Yeah,
but I would say to them, look at who you
three hundred likes are. Your three hundred likes might be
two hundred and ninety men who are never going to
train with you because you're running a women's program. But
the thirty likes or the twenty likes could be people
that are actual clients of you.
Speaker 3 (23:28):
Yees, definitely the quality over quantity.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
Yeah, so I'll get people that like my stuff. That'll
be people I actually know. They'll be world champions in
different sports, they'll be Olympians, they'll be business owners. But
I'm only have eight people that like the thing. Yeah,
that's okay. I think we get too wrapped up in
that gratification of numbers.
Speaker 4 (23:47):
So I think what you're trying to say is, if
you really think that about us, just hit the unfollow.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (23:52):
And if you are somebody who poses as a friend
of ours, like, don't because not only for us, but
for you, because why would you want to be friends
with somebody who you'd think these things about? Because if
you actually read this sentence, it's accusatory of pretty nicey
things about us, you know. And that's yes, So don't
(24:12):
be friends.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
Don't be friends.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
It's cool. And I was chatting to a friend yesterday Deb.
I want to say Deb, and I won't go too
in depth there because I don't want to. I have
an ask permission from there to talk about this. But
she said to me, I've had questions about your relationship
with Millie, And I said really, And I'd say the
same thing as Millie says that's really boring. But and
she said, and I said, just people. And I asked
her who, and she didn't want to bring up the
(24:36):
who as such, but she said people that you know
who rang me and said, what do you think about
Glenn and Millie seeing each other? And deb said, I
love it, like I view her as one of my
daughter in laws.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
And the one thing about there are certain people in
my life for me personally I'm talking and I'm sure
you will have the same who genuinely want you to
be happy. And yeah, and if I could think of
two people off the top of my head, it would
be Jayden and to be honest, the whole Nikoreema family.
And did you the two people that never judge? They
just you know, I've got other people that I thought
(25:09):
were close friends of mine. There are others. I'm sorry
if I'm forgetting people, but those are the two that
I think fully acceptable. This is what it is. Are
you happy?
Speaker 1 (25:16):
Yep?
Speaker 2 (25:17):
That's all I need to know. I don't need to
know the ins and outs of your relationship. I just
need to know if you're happy. And we're happy, not
one hundred percent of the time, because we're humans, but
we're happy, and we're not just happy on social media,
we're genuinely happy. The other thing I hate about this
whole and I do hate that question because I hate
it when people do the building better humans thing. Aren't
you supposed to build better humans? Yes, I am, But
(25:39):
that doesn't mean that I can't have opinions. It doesn't
mean that I can't. You know, even the way I
do things now to ten years ago has changed. Like
if you've got the same opinions at thirty that you
had at twenty, you've wasted ten years and forty and
thirty and so on. So you know, I'm a fifty
two year old man that's lived a lot of life,
and my opinions now compared to ten years ago are
(26:00):
vastly different. And people say leopards don't change their spots
on garbage. That means you're not learning. So that whole
question I felt if I was that person, I would
have a long, hard look itself. Yeah, and that's just what.
Speaker 4 (26:13):
I feel like if you were that person too, because
of the amount of coaching that you've done in this space,
you would have been found out a long time ago.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
So yeah, and I guess I take it a little
bit personally because I have worked extensively with young women
athletes like fourteen, fifteen, sixteen year old. Yeah, and I
would hate for people to consider that I could be
that person.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
Yeah, it's a pretty anyway.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
I haven't said that. I want to quantify this a
little bit. And this might be controversial. I might have
thought the same before I met you, if someone had
a twenty one year age gap, I might have been
challenged by it, not the I might have thought twenty
one years is a long time, right, And you couldn't
have told me in a month of Sundays that I
would date someone twenty years younger than me. So it's
(26:57):
nearly twenty one years for those that know, and that
does but I don't see it when we're together. Yeah,
and I did question myself on it a little bit.
But I also don't feel fifty two in that sense.
Like I'm I'm active and I'm doing a lot of things,
and we challenge each other in really good ways. I
don't view that there's a power in balance at all.
I view us as being.
Speaker 4 (27:17):
Very equal if we've always maintained that we are very
very equal.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
And independent thinkers. Yeah, you're one of the very few
people in my circles ever who hasn't just adopted my opinion. Yeah,
because I've got a very strong personality, and so I
tend to be able to not on purpose, but this
is my opinion. And people go absolutely, that's the right opinion.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
Yeah, or they might just stay quiet or but that's
just your.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
Very first the person that I can honestly think of these,
I actually don't agree with you. And I remember a
really significant situation. We went out to a restaurant called
Same Same, which I love in Brisbane. If you haven't
been there, go there. And I can't remember what we
disagree sponsorship. If we disagreed on, remember the thing we know.
Speaker 4 (28:06):
So we disagreed on how the fact that the fact
that people can't make you feel a certain way. So
it's your choice, based on your life choices and the
way that you've gone out through throughout your life and
your happenings in life, that you feel the way that
you do. So people can't make you happy, people can't
(28:26):
make you sad, people can't make you angry.
Speaker 3 (28:29):
You chose to feel that.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
Way, this little internal trigger going on.
Speaker 4 (28:32):
Actually I can see it in your face, and that's
a whole other podcast because conversation, and so we do disagree.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
On that, but here's what we maintain ours.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
This is what I took out of it. We had
that conversation and we disagreed, and it probably got a
little bit uncomfortable, not bad.
Speaker 3 (28:48):
As slightly.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
And then you went to the toilet, and then you
came back and you actually sat on my lap, and
then you said to me, that's the first time I
think I've had a discussion like that. We're disagreement with
a man where you haven't tried to dismiss me or
stand over me or push your point of view. And
I said, because it's just we don't have to agree
in this conversation and not agree. And we've ended lots
of conversations, so I feel.
Speaker 4 (29:10):
Like that's something we're going to keep coming back to
throughout the rest of our relations Yeah, me too.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
So and interesting I find our relationship has challenged a
lot of my other relationships, as in, when I'm on relationships,
I'm not talking into I'm talking friendships. People that I
thought were really close to me have stepped away a
little bit since we've been together, and that just tells
me that I had to be providing something in the
way they wanted it for them to be in have
(29:37):
that relationship. As soon as someone else came close to
my inner circle and you're the closest person to me,
they didn't like that. That's my view on that, because
I've never walked away from someone because of who they're seeing.
I might not even agree with who they're seeing, but
it's not my business. No, you know, I make an
effort to say, hey, that's a person you've chosen and
you're important to me, then that's good. I'm good with that.
(30:00):
And so I find it really interesting that, you know,
cause I spent a decade pretty much on my own
before I met you, that people got to experience the
version of me that was just exactly how they need
to be with no other influence. As soon as another
influence come in, they weren't happy. Now, people say that
they want you to be happy, but they want you
to be happy in my experience, as long as it
(30:21):
fulfills what they need as well. Yeah, that's that's a
bit sad.
Speaker 3 (30:24):
It is a bit sad. Yeah, there's a lot of
self reflection that you know, people need to.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
So there's two other questions. I want to answer because
they're kind of related. One was around just let me
find this around arrogance and confidence, and you know, and
and I maybe I'm reading between the lines here, but
the question says, do you think there's a line between
arrogance and confidence? And my that's only the first part
of the question. I would naturally say absolutely, and then
(30:51):
I'll talk about confidence. But they've then clarified by saying
I always find narcissists say they're just confident as opposed
to the latter. Now, I don't view myself as arrogant
at all at all, but I am very confident. I
won't be pushed around by people. No, I'm very flexible
on my viewpoints. I think like I'm happy to look
at someone else's side of it and maybe still disagree
(31:12):
by the feeling thing.
Speaker 4 (31:12):
But you know, it's the way you carry yourself, the
way you walk into rooms, the way you present yourself.
Speaker 3 (31:18):
People might view that as arrogance.
Speaker 4 (31:20):
I once read this quote which I really do love,
and it said confidence is not walking in a room
thinking that you're better than everybody. It's walking in the
room and not having to compare yourself to anybody in
the first place. And I love that I really do,
because nobody is above you, nobody is lesser than you.
You're all people, you know. So it's not walking and
thinking I'm better. It's just I am who I am,
and this is how I want to show up. So
(31:41):
I'm not going to lessen myself just to make somebody
else feel comfortable, because that's not my role.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
But I'm also of the viewpoint that true confidence means
you're happy to be wrong too. Yeah, I can walk
into a room and have my viewpoint changing. Okay, maybe
I was wrong with that, and that's I don't have
to defend my viewpoint because when you there's there's books
around fixed and growth mindsets. A fixed mindset is someone
who just believes what they believe, and therefore, whenever they
(32:07):
go into a room, they have to let you know
they're the smartest, or the toughest, or they're the I
can walk into rooms confidently own my space but not
have to prove it to people. No, because I'm comfortable
with where I'm at now. The younger version of me
probably was more fixed mindset. The growth mindset means you
understand that I have the capacity to learn. So if
I don't know a thing. Now I can learn it,
(32:28):
and so I like that. So my other pet hated
really in that question, is anyone that disagrees with you
or does things differently to you is not a narcissist?
Speaker 4 (32:39):
Yeah? Or anyone who's just confident and loves it like
God forbid, I love myself.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
If I get talked by you, that doesn't make me
a better person. But if I won't be talked down,
but it doesn't make me a narcissist.
Speaker 3 (32:51):
Yeah. I feel like that's like a diagnosed thing by
a medical professional. Or is this a medical professional because
you found that narcissist? What are you like dealing with
narcissists every day?
Speaker 2 (33:01):
So when people split up with in relationships, that's always untidy.
It's so common to go, oh, he or she's a narcissist,
But are they You guys just don't get along, You.
Speaker 4 (33:10):
Didn't work out, there were emotions involved, people said that
said things that they didn't want to say. Narcissism is
a very specific thing that is diagnosed by a medical professional,
so not by some person who's hurt.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
So the last question, then, well, it's not really a question,
I guess, but it is. It ties into some of
what we've said. We've had to answer some good questions,
we've answered some tough questions. This one just says, how
are we still experiencing tall poppy syndrome? How can we
create a better culture here in Australia. And to me,
when I get those negative questions where there's a negative connotation,
(33:46):
I feel like that is a bit tall poppy because
all of a sudden, to be honest, we're two strong minded,
fit and healthy people that are chasing goals and dreams
that are different to other people. And that's the reason
you should follow us. If you're following us, absolutely, But
then if that challenges you, is it about us? Are
you having a bit of tour poppy or is it
that you're unhappy about stuff that's going on in your life?
(34:08):
Maybe you wish it that you could be doing and
being more and you're not. And So to answer those questions,
how do we stop tor poppy syndrome? I don't think
we can. I think it's an Australian trait and not
just Australia, actually in other countries as well. I think
I wish we could. But what I think is that
if we all had strong mindsets, growth mindsets, confidence and
(34:31):
weren't put off other people, and we didn't have tor
Poppy the world be sort of out of way. Yeah,
so you need normal people. And I say that, you know,
whatever normally is. You need high performance, you need low performance,
and you need everyone in between in a society. But
you owe it to yourself as an individual that if
something makes you happy and it's not illegal and it
doesn't hurt anyone else, you should chase it.
Speaker 3 (34:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (34:53):
And also, you know, if you have young children in
your life, if you have kids or your nieces or
your nephews or your friend's kids or whatever, and they're
feeling confident about something, you should push that because it'll
take the next generation coming up to sort of if
you want to get rid of it. And we can try,
but you know, we're going to do it with the kids.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
And I think about this from the point of view
of So we've got two young boys that are at
the time recording ten to eleven. Sam is about to
turn twelve. Marley in particular, is ten, and he's one
of the most confident humans I've ever met. That he's tiny,
and so can be easy as an adult to be
challenged by that and I've certainly experienced it earlierhere, I
think you need to sit back a bit blake, But
(35:32):
he won't. And now I've realized that we should never
beat that out of him, so society will know and
society will trump. And he doesn't do it in a
way that's he's not arrogant. He's wrong sometimes because he's ten,
he doesn't have.
Speaker 3 (35:44):
The answers, he won't tell you he's wrong.
Speaker 2 (35:46):
But and one day you look back at this, I
can't believe you said that. But the point is that
you want to teach young people to have confidence that
don't beat it out of them.
Speaker 4 (35:56):
And that's another thing. Sorry to interrupt, but you know
about bro camp or aella or the thing you know
when you run camps for young kids and they stand
up and do their talk at the end of the
end of it a beautiful way of getting them to
be self confident and you know, not worry about other
people thinking and tall boppy and all that sort of stuff.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
We're all going to go with it is that you,
as an adult should be showing that stuff. You can't
tell your kids to be more confident and to have
another crack at something and to not quit when things
get tough, and to not listen to other people's opinions
if you're doing all those things, or worse, if you're saying,
don't listen to other people's opinions, don't let people put
(36:35):
you down, don't and then they listen to you in
the car talking to your partner and bagging someone out.
Speaker 4 (36:40):
Or even things that you know you might say to
your kid, whether you're at a restaurant or something, and
you might say, what will people think, like cut that out, stop.
Speaker 2 (36:47):
That one, or judge someone that walks. We all have
a thought. We naturally assess people to understand how they
fit into our circle or if they don't. But you
should never voice that in front of children because then
they learn that Mum and dad do judge. But yeah,
and they listen to everything like they take on everything.
So if you're not willing to improve for yourself, do
(37:09):
it for your kids or for other people.
Speaker 3 (37:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
So look, I hope people have enjoyed this first episode.
It's the first time we've videoed any of this sort
of stuff, and so this is new ground for us
as well. Yeah, and I'm sure we'll get better at it,
but we just wanted to bring you into the conversations
that we have and bring you in a world a
little bit. And there's no arrogance about that. It's not
(37:32):
like my world or Millie's world is better than your world.
We're just saying we think we have a lot of
value to add just by being too very normal people
who are willing to push ourselves in ways that other
people might not see as normal. And if you get
any value out of that, then that's what the Building
Better Humans project is about. We will ask you to
give us more questions. We'll put those links up on
our social media and don't.
Speaker 4 (37:52):
Be put off by how we answered that particular question.
Speaker 3 (37:56):
You know, I will agree.
Speaker 4 (37:57):
When I first read it, it irked me for all
the reasons that I listed just before. But if you
genuinely have an opinion about something and you want to
ask or you want to voice that, just send it through.
Speaker 3 (38:08):
We'll have a look because it's so good.
Speaker 2 (38:10):
That question actually said, what's your take on it? So
please don't take a person that's our take.
Speaker 3 (38:14):
And that is our take. Yeah, so you did ask,
and we can promise you this.
Speaker 2 (38:19):
We will give you honest, open feedback on our opinion
of it. And one thing I always say to people,
is our opinion, or when I do talk to my
own and say my opinion is my opinion. Don't assume
that everything I say is gospel. We're not gurus. We're
just normal people obviously. And I always say to people
when I get up and do personal development talks, I
(38:40):
want you to assume that everything I say is a
lie and find your own truth. And that's not to
suggest I would lie to you about this stuff. But
what I talk about in personal is what I've seen work.
It's not a theory. I'm not talking about some story
that Steve Jobs, who I've never met, did this thing.
Or I'm talking about real people in real time, in
real situations that I've seen get results from the stuff
(39:01):
that I do. And if I learn something new, I
will share something new as well. So this is none
of this is gospel. It's just an opinion on stuff
from lived experiences.
Speaker 3 (39:10):
Yeah, and it's nice to share share with people what
we know and what we've learned.
Speaker 2 (39:14):
So yeah, So with that being said, every Monday, Mill
and I are going to sit down. We may not
video all of these, We're going to try to but
obviously that it's hard to do. But we're going to
answer questions. We're going to I want to be challenged by.
Speaker 4 (39:27):
People because we love challenging each other, and we love
a challenge that's you know, evident through every single aspect
of our life.
Speaker 3 (39:34):
So yeah, send them through.
Speaker 1 (39:38):
Thanks Tom, thank you, thanks for listening to this episode
of The Building Better Humans Podcast with your host Glenna'ser
for feedback. To stay up to date or go back
and find an old episode, head over to one eighty
dot neet dot au here the Building Better Humors Project
(39:58):
par cares.
Speaker 2 (39:59):
Let's go
Speaker 1 (40:06):
With so
Apoja Production.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Hey, team Glenn here walking back to the building. Better
Humans Project podcast. This is Mayhem Monday.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
Hello, I Mayhem.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
So we've obviously put out a link, and the reason
we're videoing these ones is we've asked people to ask
us questions and we use an ng on link to
do that. Now, for those that don't know angel Is,
it stands we're not going to lie, and it means
that people can ask questions anonymously. Anonymously, so we figured
that that would open people up to ask what they
really want to know.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
Yeah, and there were some ones that came through.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Yeah, and there were something that were I'm going to
say negative or had negative connotations, and I don't mind.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
That me neither really, you know whatever. Whatever, We don't.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Lie to our faces. Tell me what you think.
Speaker 4 (00:54):
Yeah, and we don't really run our lives based on
what people think, but it is nice to know, and
we did ask for this, so yeah, and.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Then there are lots of normal questions. So this isn't
meant to be a podcast just about our relationship. It's
meant to be a podcast about anything personal development related.
And the reason we come up with this idea is
a million I have lots of deep conversations around personal development,
around goals and dreams and all of that sort of stuff.
And we've both been in relationships before and you've said
(01:23):
this to me where you were driving. All the conversation
there's nothing coming back, and so we don't have that's
not our relationship. No, So then we thought, well, why
not give people an insight lo we if I could,
I'd recorded sometimes us just driving in the car because
we have really really deep conversations and we.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Actively challenge each other's views.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Daily sometimes thrice. I just want to So the questions
we have some have been boxing related, some have been
personal development related, some have been relationship related, not to us,
all sorts of things, and so we're going to keep
doing these links, and we want you to ask whatever
(02:04):
you want to ask, anything.
Speaker 4 (02:05):
That's been on your mind. If you want to ask us,
whether it be about our personal lives, you know, most
things are not off limits.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
So we'll do our best to answer them.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
So let's start. We're going to I'm going to go
through the questions that are related to Million II in
a relationship sense, and by that I mean boxing, our
coaching relationship and our personal relationship. Because there's a couple
of those. So this first one says, and I guess
this is to me, but we will both answer this,
(02:38):
how do you balance coaching Millie and being in a relationship.
And for me, and we've talked a little bit about
this in different avenues in the past, but I want
to do this in this format. For me, we set
really clear boundaries early that the boxing coaching relationship was
always going to be non negotiable. Yes, and by that,
I mean, you know, we can be having a fight
(03:00):
at home because we're normal people and we have different
opinions on things, and we have emotions and all of that.
But when we walk into boxing gym, we box, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
Box, we train, We keep it professional. We're not doing
around and then talking about our fight or we just
leave that all behind. Not behind, but we'll come back
to that and we train because that's very important part
of our life and we want to keep it that way.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
So, and you're very driven to achieve This isn't a novelty.
Boxing is not a novelty, no, And so you want
to go as far as you can go now someone
starting a boxing career later, your children and all that
sort of stuff. You've done. It could be easy to
say how good would it be to win a state
title or maybe a national title. But we've done the
state title, We've won a national title in puppy in Guinea.
(03:44):
We'll aim for our next fight in Australasian title and
so and so. And you said to me once, I
only go as far as I can. If I fight
for a world title and I don't win it, so
be it. But I don't want to stop in an
Australian title. I think I want how far I could win.
Speaker 4 (03:59):
I do want to see where we can go with boxing.
You know, we're not doing this just for a hobby.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
So therefore, if we don't respect the coaching relationship, then
I shouldn't coach you. And we've had that conversation obviously.
You know I've said to you once admittedly, but you know,
maybe someone else needs to coach you if we if
it and you in the early stages really is a
much better memory than I do.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
I'm going to just put that out there, but that
be on the.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
On the but I think you said something along the
lines of in the early stages that if our personal
relationship somehow affected the boxing relationship, then you wouldn't want
the personal relationship. Yeah, I hope that's changed.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
It has. It has definitely very much.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
From a boxing relationship a coaching relationship. I want what's
best for you and so, and this is the same
for any athlete I've trained. If I don't think I'm
the right person for you, I will walk away from
that at some point. And in our case, it would
be a conversation saying I've got you this far, I
think it's time for you too, But you know that's
that's not.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
The case yet. Don't say yet. I don't think that's
going to be the case.
Speaker 4 (05:02):
I think that we have a very good coaching athlete
relationship and we always have. So you've taught me so
much in such a short period of time, and I'm
you know, yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Well.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
The reason I say yet is because I've said to
you a few times I don't know if I'm that
good at boxing coach, and you've always said I am,
you are. But one day you might outgrow my knowledge
and then we need to say, well, what's the next step.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
I feel like you'll be an active part of that though.
If you feel that, then you will, because you're always learning.
You're not somebody who just stops and goes I know
everything because of my years of experience in boxing. There's
always something for you to learn. There's always something that
someone can teach you, and you're just that person. So
if I thought that you're you know, this is the
way that it is, this is what I know, and
(05:44):
this is all I can teach you, then we probably
wouldn't be in this both relationships.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Yeah, yeah, to be fair, And that was a point
I was going to make when I was in America.
I spent eight months in America a couple of years
ago with some athletes, and what I noticed over there
is the coaches were so collaborative, Like I'm training people
that I never thought I would train, just because they
saw one thing I did. And then to my help,
one of those being Shane Mosley Jr. Just asked if
I would help him with a thing, and his dad,
(06:11):
who was three or four time world champions there, his
coach is there, and I'm like, coach, is that all right?
He says, yeah, go for it.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
I love that there's always something someone else knows.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Yeah, And then his coach are jump in and helped
my fighters, and no one takes it personally, but in
Australia that's a little bit different.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
Yeah, people get really gate kippy.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Yeah, so your thoughts around our relationship in both senses, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (06:32):
We do really well in separating the two and so
it's not much else that we can say about that
because we really do nail that in my opinion.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
So this next question is similar, and these questions are
going to be similar, I guess in some way. This
one just says, as both a coach and partner, how
do you create healthy boundaries that support trust, growth and
respect in both roles. It's a little bit deeper again, Yeah,
healthy boundaries. I think if I could have an opinion
on that, it would be that you're very good at
setting very strong boundaries even if they challenge me or
(07:03):
upset me. And I mean that in a positive.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
Thanks, because I took that as well.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Yeah, because too often people I want to set a boundary,
but I don't want to upset you in the process. Yeah,
and I've not experienced that from you.
Speaker 4 (07:15):
I've definitely been that way in the past, maybe when
I was much younger, and I guess I learned from
that because I've, like you know, put myself in situations
where I didn't set boundaries and it just didn't work
out very well for me.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
So this next question, what do you think makes your
relationship work so well despite the age gap? And what
can others learn from it? So the age gap question
is going to come up a lot.
Speaker 4 (07:38):
Yes, and I think that challenges a lot of people,
not only us, but like you know, anyone who's got
an age gap, people always have something to say about that.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
And yeah, so what does make it work?
Speaker 3 (07:51):
Our shared values?
Speaker 4 (07:54):
You know the fact that we do have deep and meaningful,
meaningful conversations about.
Speaker 3 (07:59):
You know, anything and everything.
Speaker 4 (08:02):
When we first started talking, you know, I said, the
fact that you're so you go back to my country
so much. I just love that about you. You know,
there are so many things to us that we can
just go.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
On and on and on and on.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
So yeah, we've had other questions come up here around
relationships which are not directly related to us, and so
I like these questions as well. So this one here says,
how do you keep the spark in the relationship? Definitely
out of the honeymoon phase in my relationship and we
have a baby together.
Speaker 4 (08:36):
I feel like the honeymoon phase is not something that
is a phase. I think that it should always be there,
and it's something that you have to work on in
your relationship. Like think about all the things that you
used to do or you did or said or reacted to,
or the way that you were when you were in
this honeymoon phase. You have to continue doing those things,
(08:58):
you know. So if you let something slide, that is
not really that much of a big deal in the
hun honeymoon phase. But you don't anymore, say whether he
leaves something on the counter or something like that, like
you know, just let it's light. It's not that big
of a deal, like you let it go once, you know. Yeah,
So for things like.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
That, for me, keeping the spark is I think having
really honest communications with people. So again, and I'm going
to kind of go back to this, we can have
conversations that upset each other, Yeah, and it's okay to
be upset and you might need to go away and
process that. And then I should say that Millie and
I both handle upset differently. So when we're upset with
(09:41):
each other, I'm a physical touch person. I want to
hold your hand. I want to I want to know
that we're still okay and you're like I've already told
you we're okay, but you need to walk away from me. Yeah,
And that's been a challenge for us because this is
love language type stuff. I'm talking in my love language
of needing you to hold my hand, and you're like,
that's the last thing I want to do, right, And
then my brain will say, well, maybe she doesn't love me.
(10:03):
That's a legitimate fear of mine. I guess in the
sense that I moved out a home at a young age,
I didn't really grow up in a house full of love.
This is me analyzing it very not emotionally now. But therefore,
my experience is that anyone that you think that you
love what that loves you walks away from you at
some point, whether it be your um and dad or
whatever the case may be. So then I feel like
(10:25):
you could just leave me in a heartbeat. Now that
you tell me that's not real, but that's what my
feeling is, then your feeling and you can correct me
if I'm wrong. Here is that when I just want
to touch you or be around it, it's like, get
away from me. I just need a break from you.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
Yeah, well, yeah, I guess you.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Know, because you need time to process.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
I need time to process. I feel like.
Speaker 4 (10:48):
If we hold hands and do the huggy thing and
whatever else that you need, it's that we're going to
the issue and never talk about it again, and so
I'm not there yet.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
Yeah, so that's how I feel about that.
Speaker 4 (11:00):
But keeping in the honeymoon phase, I feel like you
do have to keep working on it. You have to,
you know, in the usually in this at the start
of relationships, people will go out on dates a lot,
and they'll really prioritize each other and you know, say
all the things and oh, you look beautiful today, and
then you know, if those things start slipping and slipping
(11:20):
and slipping, then you can say that you're out of
the honeymoon phase. And then some people will settle into that.
But I feel like it's something that you always have
to continue.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
So yeah, yeah, And it's one thing again I love
is that you if you're not happy with a behavior,
you think I'm not showing anymore, you will tell me. Yeah,
Because I know for me, and it's maybe most males
to be very generalist, but I get very driven around
work and the things we're doing because we don't have
normal jobs, and so what we're trying to do in
(11:50):
the youth space, and hopefully we'll talk about that on
future podcasts. It's really big and it's really powerful. Yeah,
so then you know me, I'll be up at two
thir three o'clock in the morning doing stuff and then
you know, you'll get tired and you'll and that becomes
an excuse for people not to show their love and
their care and their and you'll say, you never do
this or you never do that, And I think I
(12:10):
do it all the time, right, But we're just I
know what I'm feeling inside and I need to take
on board and maybe I'm not expressing it outwardly.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
But then also when you give that feedback, when your
partner gives your feedback, not taking it as criticism.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
Yeah, yeah, that's a hard one for a lot of people.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
Which I'm really bad. This question here is trying.
Speaker 3 (12:32):
To attack you.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Yeah, this question here is says so happy for you
and Millie, thank you. I'm in a similar situation with
age gaps. Has it ever been a challenge and strategy
to deal with society's norms? I love this question because
I don't think it's been a challenge for us.
Speaker 4 (12:50):
I don't think so either. I was just about to say,
and I was really hoping that you would agree. But
because I was just about to say, I don't think
it's been a challenge at all. I think it's been
relatively smooth.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
But society's norms.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
Society's norms.
Speaker 4 (13:03):
So for me, it comes down to you blocking out
that noise and not caring what other people think.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
And you know, I.
Speaker 4 (13:12):
Used to run this a lot on my page, on
my person on my Instagram, like, you know, stop limiting
your life based on other people's opinions. And so if
you think you want to do something, but you're worried
about what somebody else might think, like what are you doing?
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Interestingly, for me, a lot of people say they don't
care about other people's opinions, Like I think everyone thinks
that at some level, and that's not true for most people, no.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
One hundred percent.
Speaker 4 (13:40):
But what I'm trying to say there is, if you
want to do something but you're not doing it specifically
because of other people's opinions, stop doing that.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Do the thing.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
But what I was going to say, because I wasn't finished, No,
what I was going to say is that a lot
of people, if not. Most people say they don't care
about other people's opinions, and they do. You're one of
the few people that actually doesn't. Yeah, so you will
show up a certain way, you'll do a certain thing,
and how people want to view that. You don't then think, oh,
maybe I should tone it down a little bit for them.
Speaker 4 (14:11):
No, I honestly I've lived through that, maybe when I
was a teenager.
Speaker 3 (14:17):
What do you mean, where does that not care?
Speaker 2 (14:19):
I think it takes Yeah, I don't think it's not caring.
I think it takes a level of self confidence to
be who you truly are the whole world's looking for.
I get a lot of questions through the podcast how
do I develop self confidence? And then when people are
self confident, they're arrogant, or they're over confident, or they're
narcissistic or these words of people throw around and you go, well,
how do you win it? So, how do you have
(14:41):
self confidence, particularly as a woman, when the world is
constantly sending you messages that you just need to tone
it down a little bit.
Speaker 4 (14:48):
It's definitely a learned and a practiced everyday behavior and
feeling like you know, there are sometimes where I go, oh,
but then I remind myself, I'm not going to be
limited by what other people think, because you know they're
not paying my bills.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
You know, then you wouldn't chase dreams. Yeah, you can't
take up boxing at thirty because someone else started when
they were ten. Yeah, you know, and that's an old
Chinese Probably the best time to plant a tree was
twenty years ago, but the second best time is today. Yeah,
so why not start? So? Yeah, I just think that self.
If you were to work on one personal development skill
(15:25):
for people listening, work on yourself confidence. Yeah, but to
do that, you're going to have to deal with people
trying to pull you back a little bit, or people
because most people's the reason most people do that to
you is because they feel something inside themselves when they
see someone chasing a goal or a drink. Like I
get told I was going to say regularly, but I'll
say semi regularly. I get told that I'm arrogant and
(15:47):
I'm actually not. But I am confident, so I don't
let people talk me down.
Speaker 4 (15:53):
Glenn has this joke where he always like I'll say
something and he'll be like, this is why I like confidence,
and I'm like, that is the last thing you lack
is confidence.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
I love your confidence.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Yeah, And I think it's a massive trait for people,
because how do you do what you do? How do
we develop young people if we don't have the confidence
to be who we are? So when I run youth programs,
bro camps and nailers and those sort of things, I
used to always and I haven't run mine for a
little while, and we were about to get back into it.
But I used to say teaching personal development in the
sense of public speaking. Most kids take public speaking, most
(16:26):
adults take publics. But I say, when you get the
confidence to stand up in front of the world and speak,
you get to tell the world who you are. If not,
the world tells you who you are.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
And I don't think that's a good thing.
Speaker 4 (16:38):
A lot of, you know, self confidence issues, in my opinion,
I stem from what are they going to think?
Speaker 3 (16:47):
Who as they?
Speaker 2 (16:49):
So the mythical they of which this next question is
going to have the mythical they in them. When I
first read this question, I'll be honest, I was a
little bit triggered in the sense of it was almost offensive,
just the way it was termed. We don't know who
wrote these. We can have some guesses but whatever, But
what the questions that come through a lot of people
(17:10):
genuinely wanted help with stuff or advice and stuff, but
this one I felt was more just having a dig
and that's fine, But it said despite the age gap,
do you not feel it's also an abusive power giving
you or her coach? In the beginning, I feel it's
slightly inappropriate to get romantically involved with a client, especially
when you're trying to create, and they put in the
old inverted commas better humans. Many others agree with me,
(17:33):
but what you're taking it so I want to break
this down very quickly before we answer it. Talking about
the age gap is one thing talking about an abusive
power in my mind, and I'm sure Millie will bring
this up. It suggests that she's like some little girl
that doesn't have her own strength, and that's clearly something
that doesn't know her. But the thing that gets me
is whenever I do something that people don't agree with
(17:55):
in any way, shape or form, they always try me.
Aren't you supposed to build better humans? Like as if
I have to do things the way they want it done.
But the big thing for me in this whole question
is the many others agree with me. I think that
is the laziest way to justify your position on something,
to say, well, many others agree something must be right.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (18:13):
It's very like rope the village in and yeah, we.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
Need to let them know where they stand.
Speaker 4 (18:20):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, because all of us over here, I
think this thing about you guys like men. There's so
many things about the way that this person thinks, and
that's structured into this paragraph.
Speaker 3 (18:34):
Like first of all, abuse of power, which they're accusing
you of, would suggest that you're some seedy guy who
actively goes around and finds athletes to abuse, you know
what I mean.
Speaker 4 (18:49):
And it's just I'm really really hoping that this person
isn't friends with us or you know, I don't even
know why they follow us, because if that's what you
think about you, like, please unfollow and please don't say
hello to me because.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
We don't know who you are. So this is not
even a person, No, it's just.
Speaker 4 (19:06):
It's just like, why would you want to be friends
with somebody who you think goes around trying to abuse
their power like you have worked with so many athletes
of so many different ages, both male and female. That
is just not something that's a reputation of yours.
Speaker 3 (19:22):
Number one.
Speaker 4 (19:22):
Number two, that's not something that I've seen in you,
and you know if you And then the second thing
how you mentioned, you know.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
That for you to abuse your power would suggest.
Speaker 4 (19:33):
That I'm this vulnerable little girl who can't make my
own decisions.
Speaker 3 (19:37):
Like have you met me? You know?
Speaker 4 (19:41):
You know there's two things. There's two things about that.
You know if you knew me, you would know about me.
And that's number one. I despise ced men who try
and push a boundary Like I could be in public
and if someone staring at me, I will look you
dead in the eye and I will say, what the are.
Speaker 3 (19:59):
You looking at?
Speaker 4 (20:00):
And it's just because I find it so disrespectful. So
if I came to you, you know, wanting you to
coach me, and you were some ceedy guy trying to
push boundaries, and.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
We wouldn't be sitting here right now. I would have
ended that. So that's one thing that you should know
about me if you do know me. And number two
is that I'm a leaver. I will leave. So if
I if.
Speaker 4 (20:23):
I don't like something, if something's not working out for me,
no matter how short or long, that relationship or friendship
or any sort of ship has you know been I
will leave immediately. So honestly, if if you are somebody
who abused your power in that way, we wouldn't be
sitting here right now, because I'm not a I'm not
(20:44):
a dumb.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
And to be fair, you warned me of that very
early and consistently. You said that you know, if anything's
not right, I'll walk away and never think about you again,
which is a.
Speaker 3 (20:57):
It sounds so mean, but I don't what.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
You're saying though, And then this is where you've got
to work out each other's triggers, because one of my
triggers is that people leave and then really would say
to me, I will leave in a heartbeat if things
aren't right. And that's not to say you run out
of a friendship or relationship at the first time of trouble,
not at all, but it's to say, if I'm being
actively disrespected, I will walk away from this scene and
(21:20):
I won't think about you again. I feel like we're
in a different stage where relationship now.
Speaker 4 (21:24):
But then there's also that bit that you talked about.
Many others agree with me. What did you guys like
have a meeting and did you stand up in front
of all these people like first on the agenda, Glenn
and Millie and then who else I know? And then
if that's what you did, then you know, maybe your
life is so perfect in every aspect of it. So
you know your relationships are perfect, your health and fitness
is perfect, everything about you is perfect, because if it's not,
(21:47):
then you should be on the agenda and you and
your little mates should be talking about that.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
And the other thing is you're either got everything perfect
or it's so dysfunctional, but you don't want to talk
about that, so you need to look at other people. Yeah,
because I can honestly say, and of all the people
I've met through my life and all the friendships and
relationships that I've dealt with, I've never sat at home
and talked about someone's relationship.
Speaker 4 (22:12):
No, And I'm never like like, I don't know how
this person got all the people that you're talking about,
But like, did you ring around.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
Many others so much topic?
Speaker 3 (22:20):
Did we call and be like, hey.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
If I could out offer a counter argument to whoever
this is? And again, this isn't personal because we don't
know you, and I kind of hope you're not someone
that pretends to be. The counter argument is I shared
a lot of these questions and the amount of feedback
that I got like, who the hell is that? Why
do these people follow you if they're And I tend
to agree. So I'm not attached to my followers as such.
(22:45):
I respect people that love what I do. I fully
respect that, but I don't sit there of a nighttime
and think I lost three more followers. I lost ten followers.
I'm not about that. And I years and years ago,
I was had a gym and I had trainers there
that were social media was new and they were trying
to build their followings, and particularly for the women trainers,
they could put up you know, them looking fit and healthy,
(23:08):
and they'd have three hundred likes on it, and then
they put up something wholesome about and they get twenty likes. Yeah,
but I would say to them, look at who you
three hundred likes are. Your three hundred likes might be
two hundred and ninety men who are never going to
train with you because you're running a women's program. But
the thirty likes or the twenty likes could be people
that are actual clients of you.
Speaker 3 (23:28):
Yees, definitely the quality over quantity.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
Yeah, so I'll get people that like my stuff. That'll
be people I actually know. They'll be world champions in
different sports, they'll be Olympians, they'll be business owners. But
I'm only have eight people that like the thing. Yeah,
that's okay. I think we get too wrapped up in
that gratification of numbers.
Speaker 4 (23:47):
So I think what you're trying to say is, if
you really think that about us, just hit the unfollow.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (23:52):
And if you are somebody who poses as a friend
of ours, like, don't because not only for us, but
for you, because why would you want to be friends
with somebody who you'd think these things about? Because if
you actually read this sentence, it's accusatory of pretty nicey
things about us, you know. And that's yes, So don't
(24:12):
be friends.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
Don't be friends.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
It's cool. And I was chatting to a friend yesterday Deb.
I want to say Deb, and I won't go too
in depth there because I don't want to. I have
an ask permission from there to talk about this. But
she said to me, I've had questions about your relationship
with Millie, And I said really, And I'd say the
same thing as Millie says that's really boring. But and
she said, and I said, just people. And I asked
her who, and she didn't want to bring up the
(24:36):
who as such, but she said people that you know
who rang me and said, what do you think about
Glenn and Millie seeing each other? And deb said, I
love it, like I view her as one of my
daughter in laws.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
And the one thing about there are certain people in
my life for me personally I'm talking and I'm sure
you will have the same who genuinely want you to
be happy. And yeah, and if I could think of
two people off the top of my head, it would
be Jayden and to be honest, the whole Nikoreema family.
And did you the two people that never judge? They
just you know, I've got other people that I thought
(25:09):
were close friends of mine. There are others. I'm sorry
if I'm forgetting people, but those are the two that
I think fully acceptable. This is what it is. Are
you happy?
Speaker 1 (25:16):
Yep?
Speaker 2 (25:17):
That's all I need to know. I don't need to
know the ins and outs of your relationship. I just
need to know if you're happy. And we're happy, not
one hundred percent of the time, because we're humans, but
we're happy, and we're not just happy on social media,
we're genuinely happy. The other thing I hate about this
whole and I do hate that question because I hate
it when people do the building better humans thing. Aren't
you supposed to build better humans? Yes, I am, But
(25:39):
that doesn't mean that I can't have opinions. It doesn't
mean that I can't. You know, even the way I
do things now to ten years ago has changed. Like
if you've got the same opinions at thirty that you
had at twenty, you've wasted ten years and forty and
thirty and so on. So you know, I'm a fifty
two year old man that's lived a lot of life,
and my opinions now compared to ten years ago are
(26:00):
vastly different. And people say leopards don't change their spots
on garbage. That means you're not learning. So that whole
question I felt if I was that person, I would
have a long, hard look itself. Yeah, and that's just what.
Speaker 4 (26:13):
I feel like if you were that person too, because
of the amount of coaching that you've done in this space,
you would have been found out a long time ago.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
So yeah, and I guess I take it a little
bit personally because I have worked extensively with young women
athletes like fourteen, fifteen, sixteen year old. Yeah, and I
would hate for people to consider that I could be
that person.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
Yeah, it's a pretty anyway.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
I haven't said that. I want to quantify this a
little bit. And this might be controversial. I might have
thought the same before I met you, if someone had
a twenty one year age gap, I might have been
challenged by it, not the I might have thought twenty
one years is a long time, right, And you couldn't
have told me in a month of Sundays that I
would date someone twenty years younger than me. So it's
(26:57):
nearly twenty one years for those that know, and that
does but I don't see it when we're together. Yeah,
and I did question myself on it a little bit.
But I also don't feel fifty two in that sense.
Like I'm I'm active and I'm doing a lot of things,
and we challenge each other in really good ways. I
don't view that there's a power in balance at all.
I view us as being.
Speaker 4 (27:17):
Very equal if we've always maintained that we are very
very equal.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
And independent thinkers. Yeah, you're one of the very few
people in my circles ever who hasn't just adopted my opinion. Yeah,
because I've got a very strong personality, and so I
tend to be able to not on purpose, but this
is my opinion. And people go absolutely, that's the right opinion.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
Yeah, or they might just stay quiet or but that's
just your.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
Very first the person that I can honestly think of these,
I actually don't agree with you. And I remember a
really significant situation. We went out to a restaurant called
Same Same, which I love in Brisbane. If you haven't
been there, go there. And I can't remember what we
disagree sponsorship. If we disagreed on, remember the thing we know.
Speaker 4 (28:06):
So we disagreed on how the fact that the fact
that people can't make you feel a certain way. So
it's your choice, based on your life choices and the
way that you've gone out through throughout your life and
your happenings in life, that you feel the way that
you do. So people can't make you happy, people can't
(28:26):
make you sad, people can't make you angry.
Speaker 3 (28:29):
You chose to feel that.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
Way, this little internal trigger going on.
Speaker 4 (28:32):
Actually I can see it in your face, and that's
a whole other podcast because conversation, and so we do disagree.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
On that, but here's what we maintain ours.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
This is what I took out of it. We had
that conversation and we disagreed, and it probably got a
little bit uncomfortable, not bad.
Speaker 3 (28:48):
As slightly.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
And then you went to the toilet, and then you
came back and you actually sat on my lap, and
then you said to me, that's the first time I
think I've had a discussion like that. We're disagreement with
a man where you haven't tried to dismiss me or
stand over me or push your point of view. And
I said, because it's just we don't have to agree
in this conversation and not agree. And we've ended lots
of conversations, so I feel.
Speaker 4 (29:10):
Like that's something we're going to keep coming back to
throughout the rest of our relations Yeah, me too.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
So and interesting I find our relationship has challenged a
lot of my other relationships, as in, when I'm on relationships,
I'm not talking into I'm talking friendships. People that I
thought were really close to me have stepped away a
little bit since we've been together, and that just tells
me that I had to be providing something in the
way they wanted it for them to be in have
(29:37):
that relationship. As soon as someone else came close to
my inner circle and you're the closest person to me,
they didn't like that. That's my view on that, because
I've never walked away from someone because of who they're seeing.
I might not even agree with who they're seeing, but
it's not my business. No, you know, I make an
effort to say, hey, that's a person you've chosen and
you're important to me, then that's good. I'm good with that.
(30:00):
And so I find it really interesting that, you know,
cause I spent a decade pretty much on my own
before I met you, that people got to experience the
version of me that was just exactly how they need
to be with no other influence. As soon as another
influence come in, they weren't happy. Now, people say that
they want you to be happy, but they want you
to be happy in my experience, as long as it
(30:21):
fulfills what they need as well. Yeah, that's that's a
bit sad.
Speaker 3 (30:24):
It is a bit sad. Yeah, there's a lot of
self reflection that you know, people need to.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
So there's two other questions. I want to answer because
they're kind of related. One was around just let me
find this around arrogance and confidence, and you know, and
and I maybe I'm reading between the lines here, but
the question says, do you think there's a line between
arrogance and confidence? And my that's only the first part
of the question. I would naturally say absolutely, and then
(30:51):
I'll talk about confidence. But they've then clarified by saying
I always find narcissists say they're just confident as opposed
to the latter. Now, I don't view myself as arrogant
at all at all, but I am very confident. I
won't be pushed around by people. No, I'm very flexible
on my viewpoints. I think like I'm happy to look
at someone else's side of it and maybe still disagree
(31:12):
by the feeling thing.
Speaker 4 (31:12):
But you know, it's the way you carry yourself, the
way you walk into rooms, the way you present yourself.
Speaker 3 (31:18):
People might view that as arrogance.
Speaker 4 (31:20):
I once read this quote which I really do love,
and it said confidence is not walking in a room
thinking that you're better than everybody. It's walking in the
room and not having to compare yourself to anybody in
the first place. And I love that I really do,
because nobody is above you, nobody is lesser than you.
You're all people, you know. So it's not walking and
thinking I'm better. It's just I am who I am,
and this is how I want to show up. So
(31:41):
I'm not going to lessen myself just to make somebody
else feel comfortable, because that's not my role.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
But I'm also of the viewpoint that true confidence means
you're happy to be wrong too. Yeah, I can walk
into a room and have my viewpoint changing. Okay, maybe
I was wrong with that, and that's I don't have
to defend my viewpoint because when you there's there's books
around fixed and growth mindsets. A fixed mindset is someone
who just believes what they believe, and therefore, whenever they
(32:07):
go into a room, they have to let you know
they're the smartest, or the toughest, or they're the I
can walk into rooms confidently own my space but not
have to prove it to people. No, because I'm comfortable
with where I'm at now. The younger version of me
probably was more fixed mindset. The growth mindset means you
understand that I have the capacity to learn. So if
I don't know a thing. Now I can learn it,
(32:28):
and so I like that. So my other pet hated
really in that question, is anyone that disagrees with you
or does things differently to you is not a narcissist?
Speaker 4 (32:39):
Yeah? Or anyone who's just confident and loves it like
God forbid, I love myself.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
If I get talked by you, that doesn't make me
a better person. But if I won't be talked down,
but it doesn't make me a narcissist.
Speaker 3 (32:51):
Yeah. I feel like that's like a diagnosed thing by
a medical professional. Or is this a medical professional because
you found that narcissist? What are you like dealing with
narcissists every day?
Speaker 2 (33:01):
So when people split up with in relationships, that's always untidy.
It's so common to go, oh, he or she's a narcissist,
But are they You guys just don't get along, You.
Speaker 4 (33:10):
Didn't work out, there were emotions involved, people said that
said things that they didn't want to say. Narcissism is
a very specific thing that is diagnosed by a medical professional,
so not by some person who's hurt.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
So the last question, then, well, it's not really a question,
I guess, but it is. It ties into some of
what we've said. We've had to answer some good questions,
we've answered some tough questions. This one just says, how
are we still experiencing tall poppy syndrome? How can we
create a better culture here in Australia. And to me,
when I get those negative questions where there's a negative connotation,
(33:46):
I feel like that is a bit tall poppy because
all of a sudden, to be honest, we're two strong minded,
fit and healthy people that are chasing goals and dreams
that are different to other people. And that's the reason
you should follow us. If you're following us, absolutely, But
then if that challenges you, is it about us? Are
you having a bit of tour poppy or is it
that you're unhappy about stuff that's going on in your life?
(34:08):
Maybe you wish it that you could be doing and
being more and you're not. And So to answer those questions,
how do we stop tor poppy syndrome? I don't think
we can. I think it's an Australian trait and not
just Australia, actually in other countries as well. I think
I wish we could. But what I think is that
if we all had strong mindsets, growth mindsets, confidence and
(34:31):
weren't put off other people, and we didn't have tor
Poppy the world be sort of out of way. Yeah,
so you need normal people. And I say that, you know,
whatever normally is. You need high performance, you need low performance,
and you need everyone in between in a society. But
you owe it to yourself as an individual that if
something makes you happy and it's not illegal and it
doesn't hurt anyone else, you should chase it.
Speaker 3 (34:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (34:53):
And also, you know, if you have young children in
your life, if you have kids or your nieces or
your nephews or your friend's kids or whatever, and they're
feeling confident about something, you should push that because it'll
take the next generation coming up to sort of if
you want to get rid of it. And we can try,
but you know, we're going to do it with the kids.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
And I think about this from the point of view
of So we've got two young boys that are at
the time recording ten to eleven. Sam is about to
turn twelve. Marley in particular, is ten, and he's one
of the most confident humans I've ever met. That he's tiny,
and so can be easy as an adult to be
challenged by that and I've certainly experienced it earlierhere, I
think you need to sit back a bit blake, But
(35:32):
he won't. And now I've realized that we should never
beat that out of him, so society will know and
society will trump. And he doesn't do it in a
way that's he's not arrogant. He's wrong sometimes because he's ten,
he doesn't have.
Speaker 3 (35:44):
The answers, he won't tell you he's wrong.
Speaker 2 (35:46):
But and one day you look back at this, I
can't believe you said that. But the point is that
you want to teach young people to have confidence that
don't beat it out of them.
Speaker 4 (35:56):
And that's another thing. Sorry to interrupt, but you know
about bro camp or aella or the thing you know
when you run camps for young kids and they stand
up and do their talk at the end of the
end of it a beautiful way of getting them to
be self confident and you know, not worry about other
people thinking and tall boppy and all that sort of stuff.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
We're all going to go with it is that you,
as an adult should be showing that stuff. You can't
tell your kids to be more confident and to have
another crack at something and to not quit when things
get tough, and to not listen to other people's opinions
if you're doing all those things, or worse, if you're saying,
don't listen to other people's opinions, don't let people put
(36:35):
you down, don't and then they listen to you in
the car talking to your partner and bagging someone out.
Speaker 4 (36:40):
Or even things that you know you might say to
your kid, whether you're at a restaurant or something, and
you might say, what will people think, like cut that out, stop.
Speaker 2 (36:47):
That one, or judge someone that walks. We all have
a thought. We naturally assess people to understand how they
fit into our circle or if they don't. But you
should never voice that in front of children because then
they learn that Mum and dad do judge. But yeah,
and they listen to everything like they take on everything.
So if you're not willing to improve for yourself, do
(37:09):
it for your kids or for other people.
Speaker 3 (37:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
So look, I hope people have enjoyed this first episode.
It's the first time we've videoed any of this sort
of stuff, and so this is new ground for us
as well. Yeah, and I'm sure we'll get better at it,
but we just wanted to bring you into the conversations
that we have and bring you in a world a
little bit. And there's no arrogance about that. It's not
(37:32):
like my world or Millie's world is better than your world.
We're just saying we think we have a lot of
value to add just by being too very normal people
who are willing to push ourselves in ways that other
people might not see as normal. And if you get
any value out of that, then that's what the Building
Better Humans project is about. We will ask you to
give us more questions. We'll put those links up on
our social media and don't.
Speaker 4 (37:52):
Be put off by how we answered that particular question.
Speaker 3 (37:56):
You know, I will agree.
Speaker 4 (37:57):
When I first read it, it irked me for all
the reasons that I listed just before. But if you
genuinely have an opinion about something and you want to
ask or you want to voice that, just send it through.
Speaker 3 (38:08):
We'll have a look because it's so good.
Speaker 2 (38:10):
That question actually said, what's your take on it? So
please don't take a person that's our take.
Speaker 3 (38:14):
And that is our take. Yeah, so you did ask,
and we can promise you this.
Speaker 2 (38:19):
We will give you honest, open feedback on our opinion
of it. And one thing I always say to people,
is our opinion, or when I do talk to my
own and say my opinion is my opinion. Don't assume
that everything I say is gospel. We're not gurus. We're
just normal people obviously. And I always say to people
when I get up and do personal development talks, I
(38:40):
want you to assume that everything I say is a
lie and find your own truth. And that's not to
suggest I would lie to you about this stuff. But
what I talk about in personal is what I've seen work.
It's not a theory. I'm not talking about some story
that Steve Jobs, who I've never met, did this thing.
Or I'm talking about real people in real time, in
real situations that I've seen get results from the stuff
(39:01):
that I do. And if I learn something new, I
will share something new as well. So this is none
of this is gospel. It's just an opinion on stuff
from lived experiences.
Speaker 3 (39:10):
Yeah, and it's nice to share share with people what
we know and what we've learned.
Speaker 2 (39:14):
So yeah, So with that being said, every Monday, Mill
and I are going to sit down. We may not
video all of these, We're going to try to but
obviously that it's hard to do. But we're going to
answer questions. We're going to I want to be challenged by.
Speaker 4 (39:27):
People because we love challenging each other, and we love
a challenge that's you know, evident through every single aspect
of our life.
Speaker 3 (39:34):
So yeah, send them through.
Speaker 1 (39:38):
Thanks Tom, thank you, thanks for listening to this episode
of The Building Better Humans Podcast with your host Glenna'ser
for feedback. To stay up to date or go back
and find an old episode, head over to one eighty
dot neet dot au here the Building Better Humors Project
(39:58):
par cares.
Speaker 2 (39:59):
Let's go
Speaker 1 (40:06):
With so
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