Mayhem Monday's Non-Negotiables in Relationships

Love, Relationships, and Personal Growth with Glenn and Mili

In this raw and emotional episode, Glenn and Mili give us an inside look at their relationship while answering questions from listeners. They open up about everything from communication and conflict resolution to ambition, emotional support, and unconditional love. Mili shares powerful insights on setting standards in relationships and not accepting the bare minimum from a partner. Glenn reflects on his personal growth around managing emotions and creating a safe space for vulnerability. The genuine connection between these two is palpable as they navigate tricky topics with honesty, empathy and humility.

Key Moments:

6:45 - Mili on her relationship "non-negotiables"

13:20 - Handling conflict with emotional maturity

18:30 - Supporting each other's big dreams and ambitions

27:00 - Glenn on providing emotional support

35:20 - Uplifting the women in your life

42:00 - The intention behind making your partner coffee

This raw conversation will give you hope, perspective and tools to build healthy, supportive relationships. Press play to witness the deep love and respect between two people doing meaningful personal work.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:05):
Appodjay Production.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
Hey, team, welcome back to the building Better Humans Project podcast.
This is Mayhem Mondays, and of course that means we've
got Mayhem Milli Mayhem in the building.

Speaker 3 (00:18):
Hello again.

Speaker 2 (00:19):
I just want to give a shout out to every
other that's been sending us questions and giving us feedback.
The feedback's actually been really good.

Speaker 3 (00:24):
Yeah, we have really good things come through, So very
happy about that. Thank you guys.

Speaker 2 (00:28):
I like what we're doing, but also I know we'll
get better at it the more we do it together.
And I've really enjoyed, as I've said in previous episodes,
having Milli here and sharing a bit of our inside story.
Before we kick into today's episode, which Milli will talk about.
I just want to give a shout out to Luke
in Melbourne from Bones Boxing, so I'm repping the Bones Boxing.
Luke's one of the best trainers in Australia in my opinion.

(00:51):
Whenever we're in Victoria, I've always been able to take
fighters there, so I look forward to when we get
to go down. He's got some really good girls there
for us to spart. Yeah, that'll help us prep for
the calm game. So shout out to Luke and Bones Boxing.
If you're in Melbourne, Hey Luke, if you want a
good boxing gym spin He's just a mate, go there,
all right.

Speaker 3 (01:08):
So today I thought that we would do the questions
that related around our relationship. I'll stop by saying I
got feedback on our last the one before last podcast
where there was that question about the age gap and
abuse of power, and Linda saw my mother just thought
that we came across a little bit defensive. So we

(01:31):
took that. We took that as feedback. Thank you, Linda,
And we.

Speaker 2 (01:36):
Don't mind feedback, to be honest, and I'd like to
say I didn't intend to be defensive. We're open to
you sending us positive messages, negative messages, and everything in between. Obviously,
if they're too left of center, we wouldn't share them
if we don't have a positive thing to say about them.
But I don't mind that question. I understand the age
gap in particular, for whatever reason, challenges people. Yeah, I

(01:58):
don't know why, because you're not in the relationships, so
I shouldn't worry you. But I understand.

Speaker 3 (02:02):
I was more sort of put off, I guess, by
the abuse of power bit, just because it's accusing you
of something and it's assuming something of me. So yeah,
so that's what I was annoyed with. Other than that,
I don't really mind. You know that people are challenged
by the age gap. It's fair enough, I guess.

Speaker 2 (02:22):
So I haven't had some feedback with the last episode,
which was there was a question, you know, calling me
a grandpa and all that sort of stuff, and people
were surprised that the way I reacted, But I legitimately
don't care. Like I mentioned this to mearly this morning,
actually that I've never worried about aging. I think it's
a privilege. Certainly coming from a military background. There are

(02:44):
people in my world that haven't made it to fifty,
so I think turning fifties of privilege. If you go
to the war cemetery in Bamana in PNG, which is
the biggest Australian war cemetery in the world and the
largest war cemetery in the Southern Hemisphere, there are kids
in there eighteen nineteen to twenty. So I will never
complain about my age because I've lived in that world
and there was every opportunity that I might not have

(03:06):
made it to this age. So I'm very thankful to
be this age.

Speaker 3 (03:09):
Love it relationship, and I might start off with some feedback.
There's a couple in here that that, you know, we
decided to share. There were a few other ones that
were feedback, but they're not necessarily I guess I don't
know what the word is, like, no, no, they are,

(03:30):
but it's just like a little bit. Why am I
so stuck on words today?

Speaker 2 (03:36):
I think these ones that are about your looks, so yeah, yeah, yeah,
And that's fair like as a particularly as a woman,
because I don't get that feedback. But as a woman,
I can understand that.

Speaker 3 (03:48):
Someone said the other week, you're attractive, and that was
on your things. It might have been you might have
been for you, I know he is.

Speaker 2 (03:55):
Guys, anymore of those, No, But I watched a thing
with Halle Berry recently. You would have seen this video
where she said that I've lived to get to an
age where people stopped just complimenting me on my looks. Yeah,
because there's so much more depth to me than my looks.
I love that, and I thought that's pretty cool because

(04:15):
you know, particularly in Hollywood, she's now in her fifties
and saying that, I mean, she's still an attractive woman
in her fifties, but she's now at an age where
she feels like people are justifying her body of work
as opposed to her body. Yeah, and that's pretty cool.
Having said that, as an athlete, your body of work
is your body as well, So I guess there's that.

(04:35):
But for her, she's done directing and things behind the camera,
and all everyone wanted to talk about was their looks.

Speaker 3 (04:41):
Yeah. I definitely rather be complimented on the way that
my body moves rather than the way that it looks,
which is one of the reasons they didn't continue bodybuilding.
I'm going to get so much had from bodybuilders. No shade, guys.
You guys work very hard. It's actually a really hard
thing to do. Really shout to you.

Speaker 2 (04:59):
As we're recording this, she's about to head into a profight,
so we're in weake cut three or four days out
from wakecit. Millie's a foodie. She's amazing cook but also
loves to eat out. So really it's more of a
respective bodybuilders that you have the capacity to do this
for eight weeks.

Speaker 3 (05:14):
Yeah, because more they have a long prep.

Speaker 2 (05:17):
And so the dedication to that craft is core.

Speaker 3 (05:20):
Yeah, they're restricted for quite a long period of time,
whereas we're pretty much only restricted for about a week
if you do it right, unless you have to do
a massive you know, you go into the next word
division down or something like that, then you have to
be in a deficit for a little bit longer than that.
But that all depends on where you started. All right,
let's delve into relationship feedback. So this one says we've

(05:40):
never met in person, but honestly have never seen Glenn
look so alive since being with you. How could anyone
throw shade on that is beyond me? Wishing you pay
the best X, thank you, love that, Thank you so much.

Speaker 2 (05:53):
That's something I think it's okay to be positive about
other people doing positive things.

Speaker 3 (05:57):
Yeah, I know, yeah, we're not hurting anyone.

Speaker 2 (06:00):
I was listening to someone recently and I shared this.
It was Tim Minchin. He's one of my favorite people,
and he was giving advice to UNI students to graduates,
and he said, spend your life being pro something, not
anti something. Said. So often we want to be negative
about things in life and look at justify our lives
by what we don't like. He said, just be positive.
I'd be pro stuff more.

Speaker 3 (06:20):
Even people like bond over stuff that they mutually hate.
Let's bond over stuff that we love. Why not that
all right? I hope he treats you good because i'd
do Oh I think I do? You do you do
very much? Okay, I'll read it. I hope he treats
you good because I do anything to be with someone
like you, even just to take you on a date.
So I was.

Speaker 2 (06:42):
Where we go on because we have to all three
of us go?

Speaker 3 (06:44):
Yeah, yeah, where were going? Steak? And not sponsored by movie?
We will we would love.

Speaker 2 (06:52):
That's interesting one for me, Like I love the feedback
and saying I hope, I hope everyone treats everyone good, right,
but also saying that you want to I love to
date someone like you? What does that mean? Because really
we can only know from the outside the shell of
you or the bits of you that you shared. Obviously,
I'm going to say you would want to date someone

(07:14):
like you because I get to live with you twenty
four to seven and it's a majority of the time.
That's pretty good. We're all humans.

Speaker 3 (07:21):
But yeah, like he said it, like twenty four to seven, jeez, babe, twenty.

Speaker 2 (07:28):
Four hours in a day, and I feel like I've
been dragged or twenty six of them.

Speaker 3 (07:32):
I'm joking so mad never you are sleeping on the couch.
All right, we'll move on to this one. What would
you change about the other in a positive way? And
I read this one and I was thinking, I honestly
don't know if I'm going to let you.

Speaker 2 (07:47):
Start, I would I know, I wish i'd preread these questions.
I know we'd heard them before, but I hadn't really
thought about it. But if I could change anything about you,
I would love you to see yourself from my eyes,
you know, because you're confident and all of that sort
of stuff, but you've been through some pretty hectic stuff

(08:09):
in your life. I will say, at the hands of
men or at the behavior of men. And I think
for some women, or probably any either side of genders,
I guess we can start to see ourselves validated in
a certain way only if we toe the line. And
I wouldn't say that's necessarily you, but I just think

(08:30):
that you're so much more than how you've been treated
in the past, and I never want to contribute to
that in any way, shape or form. And there are
times where I definitely have without realizing it or without
putting enough conscious thought into it, and then I hate
myself for that because you're very quick to pull me
up on stuff like that, which I love and hate. Yeah,

(08:52):
I like it in the long term, but it's very
uncomfortable in the short term. But if you don't hold
that standard for yourself, obviously, then you'll continue to be
treated a certain way. So I would love to see that.
I'd love to see that. I would love to The
only thing I wish that that I would change, and
I've watched you change for the last twelve months, is

(09:12):
your anger. You're such a passionate human that your anger
could really spill into areas it probably shouldn't sometimes, and
yet it works in other areas. And I've watched that
change astronomically in the last twelve months, maybe, which is fair.
And sometimes when we trigger each other, which we do,
it can be a case of well why is that

(09:33):
still happening? But then when we come and we go, well, actually,
it's improved so much for both of us the things
that we do that trigger the other. So yeah, I
would just love for you to see yourself through my eyes,
because I think more people see you through my eyes
than you realize.

Speaker 3 (09:48):
Thanks. Maybe. I guess if there was one thing that
I change about you, it would probably be you know
that you that if, like you said before, when I
do bring stuff up, you don't necessarily feel attacked or
get defensive, which you don't is doing it's not.

Speaker 2 (10:06):
It gets super difficult. It's not this happened this morning?
O my god. To be fair, if I get defensive
to the because I this is how I justify this,
and it's not a true justification. But I think I'm
doing all this stuff. Why is she attacking that thing?

Speaker 3 (10:19):
But it's not attacking. So we need to change that language.

Speaker 2 (10:22):
First of all, pointing out highlighting. Oh good, But again
I'm doing that for a shorter period of time than previous,
and you're much calmer and bringing it up saying, hey,
I don't feel safe telling you this stuff if you're
going to get defensive all the time.

Speaker 3 (10:42):
Ye. So yeah, all right. This next one was mostly
for me, but you could weigh in as well. So
what are your non negotiables in men and have they
changed over the years. Definitely in men.

Speaker 2 (10:55):
Is that they're not to hit a million.

Speaker 3 (10:57):
It's a good one.

Speaker 2 (10:59):
You're allowed to. It's all good.

Speaker 3 (11:01):
My number one one would be that they take accountability
when they do something or when they you know, I
guess when I feel hurt by something that they did
and you know they definitely did do it. I'd love
to seek accountability. Even if you do get a little
bit iffy at the start of that conversation, you always
end up taking accountability and validating my feelings. So that

(11:24):
would be probably number one. Number two is that they're
you know, good to my boys. Yeah, and that they
know that they're not going to come into my life
and you know, mess anything up for them. I always cry,
you stop crying. I'm hungry, guys. Yeah, there's Look, there's

(11:49):
a whole list of things like you know, not doing
the bare minimum and expecting me to be so happy
by the bare minimum, you know, because I have accepted
the bare minimum in the past, and that's a whole
other podcast of bare minimum. Saying bare minimum would be,
you know, saying I love you or words of affirmation

(12:10):
for me is a bare minimum, So saying you look
nice today or things like that. A bare minimum would
be something like carrying in the heavy things. Even though
I'm pretty strong myself. I just like to see a
man take that role that's a bare minimum. So often
you'll be like, you know, you'll have friends go to me, Oh,
he carries all my stuff for me, and it's like cool,

(12:31):
there's a bare minimum.

Speaker 2 (12:33):
The love language one, the saying I love you and
saying you look good. That's definitely one that's challenged me
or us over time because we're really busy. And that's
a really crappy excuse, but we're really busy, and so
sometimes we be on the move, we're organizing, we're doing things,
and you'll come downstairs and we'll go and then I
won't realize what you'll say later, like three or four

(12:53):
days of Ralph come down the stairs and you've not
said anything to me. Yeah, and I think, oh, I
love you in those particularly pants for example, or she's
got a pink version. I love them on her. But
I don't say it all the time. And my brain
used to be, well, I said it once back then,
and they're the same shorts and you're the same person,
and I love you.

Speaker 3 (13:10):
And then my counter argument for that one time was, well,
I told you I love you back then, so I
should never say that again.

Speaker 2 (13:14):
Or which is fair. So my point is that that's then
I have to change your behavior, and so you know.
And then recently I was more active in saying I
love you and more active in saying because I'm I
probably don't use words of affirmation enough. And then this
is a counter side to that. And then you said, well,

(13:35):
you only love me now because im in weight cart,
which is not true because you've made the association. It's
not true. I said, no, I'm telling you I love
you more.

Speaker 3 (13:41):
Because you I think that was the card start brain talking.
I know full well that that's silly.

Speaker 2 (13:45):
My point to that is that this is a relationship,
is a constant conversation, and you're never getting it one
hundred percent right, and neither is the other person that's
been willing able to meet each other. Yeah, halfway if
need be, or seventy thirty or whatever that needs to be.
But I'd like to expand on that question or maybe
dig into what they said, which is what has changed

(14:07):
like a twenty year old girl or a fifteen year
old girl, twenty year old, twenty five year old, thirty
year old, what sort of changes in what you expect
of a man, Because I think, from my point of view,
a fifteen year old is probably very happy for someone
just to show them attention, just to tell them they're attractive,
might treat them terribly. And we've all watched this happened.
I've watched this happened with my ds, where they treat

(14:28):
them terribly, but they say nice things and that that's enough.
And then you get to an age where you go, oh,
it's not enough of me anymore, Like you're just saying it.
I need to feel it. You know, when you're you
think about when you're sixteen or seventeen, if you're going
out with the boy who's got a car and a license,
that's a big deal. Yeah, because I know I, as
a male who was sixteen riding around your pushbike is
hard to pick up another sixteen year old girl because
she's going out with someone in the.

Speaker 3 (14:48):
Cap that's She's like, I'm not getting in the back
of your push No, he gets on the front. Round
it's like not that other cute but no.

Speaker 2 (14:55):
But so yeah, what in a more tangible sense, what
has changed.

Speaker 3 (15:00):
Lots of things? So you know, at the start we
spoke about how I've been through things at the hands
of men, I guess, and my accountability piece in that
is that I allowed things boundaries. I didn't set them.
I just thought I was the cool girl. And you know,
the kids call it a pick me girl these days.
I guess I showed it. You've not heard it. It's
like they they do and say anything to be picked.

(15:26):
So yeah, so they'll act in a certain way, or
they'll say certain things that they might not not necessarily feel,
just to be liked and to be picked by the
opposite sex. I guess, yes, does it pick me, pick me,
pick me sort of thing. Yeah, So things that I
would let go, I definitely wouldn't let go anymore. And

(15:50):
back then it was simply because I wanted to be liked.

Speaker 2 (15:54):
And so yeah, do you think people then have to
be more comfortable with the fact that you could end
up on your own, as in, if I hold a
really high standard and I've heard this fear in people before,
what if I'm on my own? And I say, what
if you're on your own? That's fine. I spent ten
years on my own because I had a different standard
all of a sudden until you came along. And so

(16:15):
you've got to be really comfortable to be on your own. Yeah,
before you can really contribute to someone else. Because we've
definitely had some issues in our relationship around my stuff
in relationships, and yet I spent ten years pretty much
being on my own working on my stuff. So I'm
a better person now than I was ten years ago.
But then I probably wasn't still great in understanding relationships

(16:39):
without going too deeply into that, because there's not about
a pull part on this.

Speaker 3 (16:44):
So yeah, good, there's honestly, we could go on all
day about the non negotiables in men, but yeah, accountability.
You've got to be good to my boys. Yeah, and
you've got to not do the bare minimum and then
and again the bare minimum. There's a whole other podcast
as well, take feedback and yeah, absolutely, but yeah, like

(17:05):
you know, so my friends will be like, oh, you
held my hand as I crossed the river. Bare minimum.
You know. That's not that's not like, oh my god,
he's such a good guy. That's just the bare minimum.

Speaker 2 (17:14):
It sounds like common sense when we're having this conversation.
But also I heard this same years ago that common
sense isn't common as it not everyone does it. And
I remember us going out for a walk, run whatever.
Once I can't I think a walk, and I jumped
over this water puddle and I kept walking and then
I turned back later and by then you had negotiate it,
and I thought nothing of it. But then a little

(17:35):
bit later on you said you made no effort to
help me across that way.

Speaker 3 (17:37):
It looks I was okay, didn't even look back because
I think.

Speaker 2 (17:41):
She's very capable. But again, you set a standard, yes,
and once you set a standard, no matter how much
you love someone, you should continue to set that standard,
and it's their job to step up to that standard
and not feel offended by it when they don't reach it.

Speaker 3 (17:57):
Obviously, being committed and faithful to the relationship is a
non negotiable and a bare minimum. So yeah, lots of things,
but we'll.

Speaker 2 (18:10):
Move on is a big one for mil.

Speaker 3 (18:13):
Yeah for sure. Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 2 (18:16):
And I heard a thing recently that said honesty. And
this is like two days ago. I read this and
I hadn't shared this with you, but it said there's
a difference between honesty and transparency, and I think you're
like this. Honesty is I'll tell you the truth.

Speaker 3 (18:31):
When I asked you. Transparency is just saying saying it
without having to be asked, or I'm very transparent with you. Yeah,
I like both transparency and honesty. Yeah, that's a good one,
thank you. I am.

Speaker 2 (18:45):
I need like that. So I thought i'd say.

Speaker 3 (18:46):
It all right, Do you believe in love at first sight?
Unconditional love, true love and that kind of stuff, because
God knows, I've tried to find it and zero luck.
I'm at the men suck stage of.

Speaker 2 (19:00):
Life for me. I don't know about love at first sight.
I don't know that, but I know if I could
just talk to the first part of that question, because
I'm not at the men suck stage a lot, but
I understand when we first met. I'm not going to
say love at first sight, but there was definitely an

(19:20):
energy that was just like, oh, she left me. It
was on my birthday. I think I've told this story
on the podcast before. On my birthday, I was training
a heap of athletes who are overseas merely wanted to
do a session, just one session, to see if she
was good or not because she had had some issues
with an old trainer where they kept pulling her out
of a fight, and so she just said to me,

(19:40):
I just want to know if I'm shit or not
and be honest with me. So I did a session
with her. I said, I'll do a session, and then
after the session, I said, well, you're not shit, but
there's a lot of stuff you can work on, so
just on the feedback. And then I didn't know if
we're going to train again, but we're leaving. As we're leaving,
it's kind of getting late, and you, I can't remember
the exact conversation, but you said to me something about
what were you doing today, and.

Speaker 3 (19:59):
I just said, it gives your fiftieth birthday.

Speaker 2 (20:03):
And I said my birth and then really said, well,
what'd you do? And I said, I'm not really big
on birthdays, and she doesn't know me.

Speaker 3 (20:09):
He said, it's just a day, which has always.

Speaker 2 (20:11):
Been my belief, and she said, no, something along the
lines of the world would be a different place or
a worse place for people, certain people if you weren't here.

Speaker 3 (20:20):
I said, there's so many people's lives would be just
a little bit different if you weren't here. So that's
something that you should definitely celebrate.

Speaker 2 (20:27):
Now. I disagreed about the birthday think, but she left
and I felt there's really positive angel. I thought that
was a really interesting interaction and none of that was
based off the physical You at that stage, or the
box of you or the it was just something. I
don't know what it was, So I don't know if
you would call that love at first sight, this definitely
was a connection. Yeah, so there's that. And then obviously

(20:49):
after that, besides training, we spent a lot of time
going to breakfast and having really deep conversations about stuff,
and that was when that real connection started, I think
in hindsight. But that's the first part of the question.

Speaker 3 (21:01):
I'll let you deal with that, and then do you
believe in unconditional love, true love and that kind of stuff?
So that's the other part.

Speaker 2 (21:07):
I don't really know what unconditional or true love is.
I think we have unconditional love for children, blood, and
to the point where, and this is a really changing
thought that even if your children did the worst crime,
you can hate that crime and you could be devastated
what they did, but I feel like a part of
you would still they're still your blood.

Speaker 3 (21:27):
You still love them.

Speaker 2 (21:29):
I don't know if they're a mass murder or something,
but yeah, I don't know that. That's a really interesting one.
Whereas I think love is conditional, it's like I love you,
I really do, and I say that publicly, and I
say that to you and you know that. But I've
always said, like, if you cheated on me and I
found out, obviously I would I think I would still

(21:49):
love you and it would hurt incredibly, but I couldn't
be with you.

Speaker 3 (21:53):
Yeah, maybe people say things like, you know, use the
term unconditional love as in, no matter what you do,
I'd stay, which is not true for most most people.

Speaker 2 (22:05):
It shouldn't be true.

Speaker 3 (22:06):
It shouldn't be true. Definitely shouldn't be true. So somebody
steps out on your relationship with if somebody you know
backstabs you or talks badly behind your back, and that's
supposed to be a person or doesn't defend you, and
which is another podcast wtogether, Yeah, you should feel the

(22:26):
love back, and that person should love you and treat
you the way that you would do for them.

Speaker 2 (22:32):
I can say with absolute confidence that nobody would speak
badly about you to me and have me participating in
them at any level. And I've always hated that since
I was a young man and a single man in
the army, that was a really big thing. Like mostly
men when I joined the army by should be sitting
around and like bagging out their wives. And I was
a young teenage and I also think that's your wife. Yeah,

(22:55):
why would you be talking crap about your wife? Yeah,
but it's just to be cool with your mates over
a beer or whatever. And I never quite understood that.
For all the faults of my father, and you know,
I have a strange relationship with my parents, I don't
think I ever heard him do that. He did a
lot of other things, but I'd never heard I don't
really think I ever heard him openly disrespect my mother

(23:16):
to other people. Yeah, things happened in the house. It
shouldn't have happened, So maybe there was at least that standard.
And I feel confident you would not do the same
to me. But if you're not sure if your partner
would stand up for you, that's a little bit hectic.

Speaker 3 (23:31):
Yeah, so this girl said, or boy said, I'm at
this men suck stage of life. So yeah, that's a
hard place to be. But I guess keep you Yeah, yeah,
for sure, but keep your standards and then your person
will come.

Speaker 2 (23:49):
Yeah, and if they don't, they don't as well. Like
to be honest, when I turned fifty, I said to myself,
I will never have another relationship now because I'd spent
a few years not having one, and I just thought,
once i'd turned fifty, if I'm not in a relationship now,
I'm not going to be in a relationship. I'm just
going to focus on business and christian in particular, because
the other kids are all grown up and able to

(24:10):
do their anything or growing up. But I just thought,
that's what I'm going to focus on. Yeah, So, and
that was a decision in my mind because up until
then nothing had happened. Like, I'm not an online dating guy,
so I'm not going to be on apps. I'm not
going through that awkward you know what, I'm like to
go out socially anyway, let alone have an awkward first
date with someone that I've just seen a picture of.
It's just a hard note for me. And so I

(24:31):
just decided that. And interestingly, that's when you come along.
So you don't know, is my point. You don't know
when someone might They may never. But the truth is
my experience now is if you're not pushing it because
people go, it'll happen when you're least expected.

Speaker 3 (24:45):
And I think, well, the garbage that it happened, Yeah,
it did happen. I guess, focus on yourself first and foremost,
and don't put so much energy into finding that person.
You know that, and if that person comes, they'll come.

Speaker 2 (24:57):
But also, you're going to be happy and healthy within yourself.

Speaker 3 (25:00):
Yeah, exactly, So work on yourself I.

Speaker 2 (25:02):
Want to drag all that into the relationship anyway.

Speaker 3 (25:04):
For sure.

Speaker 2 (25:06):
All right.

Speaker 3 (25:06):
There were a number of questions that were around sex,
but I picked one because some of them were a
little bit like, mah, I want to talk. Yes, no,
we're not good, but other people's sex, No, not at all.
But this one was just a real general one, so
I thought i'd put it out there, and I guess
when we put our next NGL link, i'd like people
to weigh in on this, that would be good. But

(25:28):
this one is how many times do you think it's
normal for couples to have sex in a week? And honestly,
that's just such a personal preference, so that's a hard
one to answer. Yeah, so.

Speaker 2 (25:39):
I would say that you've got to be aligned. Yeah,
because if you're a once a week person and your
partner's a once a week person, there's no problem there, yeah,
Or if you're once a month person, no problem. But
for some people they're definitely going to have a higher
sex drive or a higher expectation around that, and that
is one of their love languages. Then I think you

(25:59):
need to have that discussion, yeah.

Speaker 3 (26:01):
Because that could just cause conflict and ongoing shoes, you know,
and one person could feel excuse me, undesired.

Speaker 2 (26:08):
And yeah, and I can say we've had those conversations
around because I get very focused on work. I work
twenty four hours a day sometimes if I can, I'll
just working time, exhausted, collaps, go to be and get
up and go again. And Mily's not about that, Like
she works hard, don't get me wrong, but she also
absolutely insists on that personalized attention. And I'm not just

(26:29):
talking sexy, I'm talking attention, so not just the bare minimum.
Again for her is that you're just there coexisting with
each other, Like, no, I'm not doing that because.

Speaker 3 (26:38):
I don't need a room mate.

Speaker 2 (26:40):
But yeah, she says she doesn't need a roommate. But
one thing I will say is we always say we're
best friends. Yeah, and we always joke about or you
joke about it more about when we're laying But the
other night you said this, it's like coming to sleep
both with my best friend, and I like that we
have that best friend energy because some people have their
best friends and then their relationships, and I feel like

(27:02):
you should be the best friend that I have. You
should be the person that I tell everything. So I
was actually just with a friend of ours, Simon Orton,
who's a boxing coach at east Side Boxing, and he
told me an interesting story which I really loved. Actually
it's kind of tied in, not the sex question so much,
but what I just talked about about best friends and
your relationship. And he was talking about a young Irish

(27:22):
boxer years ago that he'd worked with, and there was
someone that Simon said, Oh, you're going to go over
and see this guy who was a specialist in an
area and this young girl was only twenty one and
he said no, he said, and Simonson, why not? He said,
because he cheats on his wife. Someone said what they
got to do with you and the business of what
you're doing? He said, well, think about this. Who's the
person you spend you tell your darkest secrets to everything

(27:43):
you tell everyone to And he said, your wife, and
you're going home to her every night and then he's
cheating on her. How can I trust him with my information. Yeah,
I thought, oh wow, what a crazy perspective for a
twenty one year old to have. Yeah, theah, that's the
important of your We tell each other everything. Yeah, so
if we then cheated on each other and had a
distrust there, how can anyone else trust us?

Speaker 3 (28:02):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (28:03):
Because if you can't trust this I.

Speaker 3 (28:05):
Saw this guy, like business guy on Instagram and he said,
you know, I don't do business with anyone who cheats
on their wife because if she can't trust him, I
definitely can't trust him as a business partner.

Speaker 2 (28:16):
You've committed to that person.

Speaker 3 (28:17):
Yeah, So if you're going to step out, how you
do any things? Hey, do everything? All right? How do
you to handle conflict? You both have strong personalities. Surely
that creates issues. Sometimes. We've delved a little bit on
it in this podcast and this particular episode. Yeah, we
talk it through. Like I said, sometimes in the beginning

(28:39):
of the conflict, one or both of us may get
defensive and we you know, might get a little bit
angry or that's me. I definitely need space when that happens,
just to calm down, just to think about it, just
to get over it, and to actually properly think about

(28:59):
it because my emotions do get too too much.

Speaker 2 (29:03):
And so space and then I'm not good at giving
her space. And early on there was a time where
you didn't speak to me for we weren't living together,
like twenty four hours and maybe four out out I
don't know where there was a timeframe, and that was
a killer for me, but familiar it was no big deal.
It was like, hey, I just need that space, right

(29:23):
And I remember saying to you, that's cool, but space
to me means that you're running away, or you're leaving me,
or you're you know, I catastrophize that situation because that's
how I feel the experience. And so I said, all
I need from you is to say, look, I love you,
but you need to give me space. And I think
we've been better at that. Or I don't question the

(29:45):
love anymore like I did early in the relationship. I
naturally question love because that's that's my triggers. So I
would answer that, yes, we're strong personalities. Communication is always
going to be the key.

Speaker 3 (29:56):
We definitely also both own our piece when we come
back to each other, So that's really really important, is
owning your piece.

Speaker 2 (30:03):
And whatever happened, I'm calm as well as in I'm
not emotionally triggered because I don't ben coming. I don't
really get angry, but I have these emotional triggers. Once
I'm calm, I'm always happy to apologize. I starty to
do it in the moment, but afterwards, I'm happy to say.
Even a lot of men in particular do not like
to apologize because that's a sign of weakness.

Speaker 3 (30:24):
Yeah, it's pathetic, really sorry, but.

Speaker 2 (30:25):
It's a sign of weakness to men. And so it's
about understanding that I don't have to pretend to be
strong in front of this woman because this is my
woman and I'm her man so and we always refer
to each other even as king and queen for each other.
So if I've got to try and pretend to be
strong in front of her at the risk of emotionally
damaging her, how does that make sense? So you know,

(30:46):
it takes maturity to get to that, and it's the
forty year old me wouldn't have done that. The thirty
year old me definitely wouldn't have done that, And so
I'm at a different stage. So then let's refer back
to the age gap. This age gap and my maturity
now probably works because I have a different maturity that
you need, and we have sides to each other that

(31:09):
are different. So the sides to each other that are
different is I have that maturity and that calmness. Most
of the time I can apologize or I can do
all those sort of stuff. And then from Millie's sides,
she gives me accountability that not many people give me
because most people, just due to my personality, tell me
what I want to hear. And it was really challenging
for me. I wanted it, but it was also challenging

(31:31):
for me to have someone that just hit you between
the eyes with stuff, and her answers always, well, I
told her that's how I was Bob Coade stuff.

Speaker 3 (31:39):
And that's not saying that I come across mean when
I tell you, I just definitely tell you what this is,
how I felt when it happened, very what I think that. Yeah,
I like to be clear, So it's not that I
want to be mean, it's just that I like to
be clear.

Speaker 2 (31:53):
Then Millie's answer is is it offense? You know, like
so that's offensive or is it offensive or are you
just being offended? And that's a choice, right, So I
think you have to trust each other's intention. I have
to know that your intention is that you love me.
I'm not leating because I would regularly say to her
after too early, after an argument, do you love me?
And she said, why do you ask me stupid questions?

(32:14):
But it's because yes, I love you, but right now
I just need that space, and so I understanding each
other is really important.

Speaker 3 (32:22):
I really love that one about intentions because I did
a hypnotherapy session just around my anger and how I
can regulate that a little bit more. And one thing
that always stuck with me that the lady said was
there's always a good intention behind a bad emotion. So
you've got to find that good intention and then you know,
try and leave the bad.

Speaker 2 (32:42):
Yeah, why does that make your emotional?

Speaker 3 (32:44):
I don't know, because I hate being like mad, you know,
at thanks, I just like to do you have to
say that.

Speaker 2 (32:49):
I don't want to cry well because because I want
to recognize the emotion that's there. And this is you know,
people talk about safe spaces for conversations, and we live
out lives very publicly, and you're showing an emotion in
a safe space, but we're doing it publicly. And I
think we're very strong people, and I think it's okay
for people out there watching to see that we go

(33:09):
through these things.

Speaker 3 (33:10):
Yeah, I've definitely struggled with my temper. It's very like
quick and sharp, and I guess I'm just like gotten
to a point where I'm like had enough, you know
what I mean? So I react a lot quicker, not anymore,
but it did definitely get to a point where it
was so much for me. There was a lot going
on my life.

Speaker 2 (33:29):
You would react quick and it would last for a
long time. And both of those have changed, they have, Yeah,
but also to recognize that emotion I remember early days
and maybe not so much anymore. But after we'd settled,
even if you were right in whatever the discussion argument was,
you would say to me, you would then get upset
and say, and I said, what's wrong because I thought

(33:50):
we'd resolved it And used to say, you're going to
leave me because of my anger? Yeah, And I'm not
like because because I would have already left if that
was the issue, because it was worse a year ago
or eighteen months ago when we first met compared to
what it is now. And then I guess I've felt
the same at times. And all this is to tell
you guys that we're not insecure people, but we all
have insecurities, and so don't judge yourself or on your emotions.

(34:15):
It's okay to feel emotions. And I was spent my
whole childhood because my old man was a very tough
ex military guy. I spent my whole military career where
emotions were pushed down, seen or not heard. Man up
all of that stuff that men get told. And then
what you need to understand as a man that you
just come across to the woman in your life if
that's your relationship where you're insensitive, where you have no

(34:37):
emotions but you don't care. And I used to think
I care deeply. I just don't have the capacity to
show it. And I've embraced that. I would have cried
in front of million more than I've cried in front
of any human in my life. And I used to
feel weak when I did that, and you used to
get annoyed at that. It's not weak, it's okay. But
this is my safest space and I don't mind saying that,
And so I'm your safe space.

Speaker 3 (34:59):
Always love you, all right, This one is for you, Okay, sorry.
A few years ago, you said that you wanted to
stay single forever. How did that change so quickly? What's
special about Millie.

Speaker 2 (35:13):
Such a deep pression? I don't I don't know that
it changed so quickly, I guess, but maybe.

Speaker 3 (35:21):
Because we've known. We knew each other for quite some
time before anything happened. So it's not that I just
came into your life and just changed you like that,
or changed your views on relationships or whether or not
you wanted to be with somebody or alone.

Speaker 2 (35:33):
I've had people say to me, you're not the person
I thought you were, because all of a sudden I
was interested in and wanting to be in and defending
my relationship, whereas before it was all taken leave, like
not interested, just not interested. Right. So I had a
guy years ago, he come and saw me at another

(35:54):
gym I was working out, and he said, you know,
my wife wants to introduce you to this woman, and
I'm just not interested. I was really honest, I'm not interested.
And he's describing her and she's this and that and
she's attractive, and I said, none of that matters to me.
I'm just telling I'm not interested because I knew it
wasn't ready back then or interested. And then he did
say to me that she's got an autistic sign and
you've got an autistic son. And I said, they're not

(36:15):
like Staffy's. We're not like both into Staffi's.

Speaker 3 (36:18):
There's not like a club and people could join the
Facebook group.

Speaker 2 (36:21):
And but also I think bringing my special needs child
and your special needs child together just would be drama.
But then his wife came in and said, oh, I
was talking to and I said, no, no, no, I've
already told him I'm not interested. And that's happened to
me a couple of times where people have tried to
set me up. So I guess I definitely wasn't ready
and I didn't even want to meet anyone. But I
also know then I wasn't comfortable with my personal development yet.

(36:46):
So all the stuff that happened as a child and
through some of my early military career, I hadn't properly
processed it. And I know that because my daughter Melissa
had a book written about her from when she was
climbing Everest, and they would write all the chapters and
there's a little bits about my background, not huge and
deep stuff, but they interviewed my dad and he just

(37:07):
made a few comments, really, I think, not that bigger comments,
but mentioned that I was always a soft and a
weak child and he used to always put me down
when I was younger. And that made me really emotional
when I read it, and that's when I realized, you
haven't processed this stuff. You've just hidden it, you've just
buried it. Because I was in Sydney at the time,
I went and met with the author, they'd give you

(37:29):
all these random chapters, so chapter thirteen, chapter ten, it
wasn't in order, and I remember reading that chapter and
I was on my own and I a I was
in a hotel and I went to the hotel room
and I felt physically ill and I slept for about
five hours in the middle of the day because I
just felt sick and emotional. And that's when I knew, Okay,
you haven't dealt with this, so why would you take
that into a relationship. That's not fair. And now I'm

(37:52):
at a stage where I've processed all of that, So
that's the first part of it. Secondly, I knew it
was going to take someone special and really, is one
hundred percent of that person for me? Because I've told
you things I've never told one, and I've never felt judged.
And you've been through some hectic stuff too, and you're
not judged. We are introducing pieces of ourselves to you,

(38:15):
but not all of ourselves, because there's depths to us
that nobody bar each other, deserves to know. And there
are sides of me that you will never know that
MILLI will and I hope. So now we're at a
stage where I can't think of anything that would be
off topic to us for us personally, but it doesn't
mean it's open for public consumption. So when you find
that level of a relationship and if you don't have

(38:37):
that level of trust and that level of communication, I
would question that on the long term. So that was
the I couldn't ever tell you what's special about you,
like it's too deep to be honest, because we've said
this in the past wherever we go, and really will
hate me saying this, but people always compliment you on
your looks. Men in particular will look and they will

(38:57):
compliment you. We went out to a bar once and
I was sitting down and merely went up to the
bar to order some food or something and was trying
to chat you up and you just said you were
here with me and it was good. He left it.
But some men don't and so you're used to that.
But I was saying, yeah, they're looking at this package
what I love, and I'm not offended by that because

(39:18):
you're beautiful, right, But what I love is that they
don't get to see the depths of you. Only I
get to see that. Some people in our closer circles
will get a piece of that, but they still don't
get the depth that I get, and that's pretty special.

Speaker 3 (39:31):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (39:31):
Yeah, So I don't know if I really answered all
that question, but that's I honestly don't know how that changed.
But I don't think it was so suddenly. Nah. I
might have seemed on the surface publicly.

Speaker 3 (39:42):
Yeah all right. Next one, as someone who struggles to
find a partner who gets my ambition. Seeing you to
support each other so fiercely gives me hope. How did
you know you'd found the right person? We used to
sit at coffee and you tell me the things that
you wanted to do, and I'd tell you the things
that I wanted to do in life. And some people,

(40:05):
and we've said this to each other, some people would
think that those goals and dreams are so vastly out
of the picture, like how can you even dream that
because of where you are right now? But we never
did that to each other. So we both saw each
other's goals, saw each other's dreams, and didn't try and
tear them down or didn't even make any sort of
negative remark around them, like, oh, that's a little bit big.

(40:28):
Don't you think. We never did any of that, So
I guess that was one thing that we saw in
each other was big ambition.

Speaker 2 (40:36):
I love ambition, right, And I've been in relationships in
the past with people. Please don't take this as disrespect
anyone that I've seen in the past. I think everyone
in our past just weren't the right people at the
right time. None of them necessarily are bad people were
bad people. I just think you're not the right people
for each other. But one thing that used to kill
me is people that have no ambition and they're just

(40:59):
happy to sit and watch TV every night, and I
can't do that, And then when you start to talk
about things, that's like, oh, they're either fully disinterested or
they tell you all the reasons it won't work. That
used to kill me because I'm an ideas man, and
I get really excited by things like.

Speaker 3 (41:16):
I look at for solutions, not problems.

Speaker 2 (41:18):
For you to totally disagree with it, but don't just
pour water straight on it, to say, okay, even if
it's a kill baby, I understand what you're saying, but
you have you thought about this and this and this,
But I never had that. I just had people like, oh,
full level disinterest, and I used to think. I used
to feel like a little bit of my soul was
just like what am I doing? And I've never had

(41:39):
that with you. In fact, we both dream big. I'll
get easily excited by ideas and I'll just start, as
I said the other day in the podcast, I talk
at a million miles an hour, I get really amped.
I will start writing out a whole business plan in
my head for this thing that occasionally someone has to say.
And that's merely like, just just focus on this thing.

(42:00):
So that's the downside.

Speaker 3 (42:01):
But just because we want to do too many, excuse me,
too many things. And it's not that I'm saying or
we're saying that, you know, you should stop thinking about
that particular thing, but let's just focus on what we're
doing right now, and then we'll move on to the next.
So it's not that I think that you should stop
doing that because it won't work. It's just that we're
not doing that right now, so let's just focus on
what we're doing right now. But you're still such a
hard working person as am I and I guess it

(42:24):
just works because we both understand that there's a vision
at the end of this.

Speaker 2 (42:27):
The other thing I love when you're working in and
around people with ambition is they do whatever it takes.
So one of the absolute things that probably goes back
to the last question about what makes Melely so special.
I've always done whatever it takes all work. I've driven
hours to do pt sessions for fifty dollars back in
the day because that's what was available to me. I've

(42:50):
just done so much to get ahead, and I don't
think about what other people think of it. I just
show up and I do my thing. I've never put
my hand out and begged off other people or waited
for someone to save me. I've never been that guy.
I will just work harder if it means doing ten
co coda tracks. This year, I'll do ten co Coda tracks.
That's what I will do. The adventure business this year

(43:12):
is going through a lull. All adventure businesses are when
I'm talking to other TECK leaders, so there's not as
many trips available across the board, so I personally have
to do more. Okay, then that's what we're doing. Yeah,
you're the same. So millions are the first people I've
met that I've been this close to that I've watched
literally do whatever it takes and never winch. Yeah, and
we don't always love it, but we never winch. We

(43:32):
don't go I wish someone else would. But then the
downside of that is we've helped so many people that
haven't respected it, that are happy to see you work
your urs. I don't want to do that, and then
they become victims. So I think that's been really helpful
to be around people that are inspired. Yeah, litt alone
the person in your life. Yeah, I wish for whoever

(43:54):
that is to find that person.

Speaker 3 (43:55):
Me too, Me too. I guess you just find someone
else who has a very similar level of ambition and
work ethic, and then they'll understand why you do the
things that you do and vice versa. But if you
find somebody who is just happy to go along with
life and which is fine, but that's not your person.

Speaker 2 (44:11):
So if I could give some advice in there, become
friends with people first, Like if you're looking for a relationship,
don't jump on it like, oh, this as a man,
Oh this beautiful woman who does all this sort of stuff.
So I just want to have sex with her straight away,
and I want to have a relationship straight away. No,
we got to know each other and we became friends.
And I'm not against people having sex on first dates
and all that, but I'm just saying, don't be so

(44:32):
desperate to be in a relationship that all the outside
stuff it's a little bit of a red flag, but
I'm going to ignore it because I want to be
in a relationship because down the track, those little red
flags are going to be like absolute nightmares for you,
and then the other person are going to go, oh,
I was always doing that, That's always who I was.
But I just wanted to be in a relationship. I
didn't want to be in a relationship, to be honest,
and you were in a very complicated situation, and so

(44:55):
we just were good friends and talking about good things
to the stage where we'd go out for breakfast or lunch,
and an hour an hour and a half later, neither
of us wanted to leave because we were romantically attracted
to each other, but because the conversation was so good. Yeah,
that hasn't changed. We still have really deep conversations everywhere
we go. We drive. Sometimes I'll say to me, am

(45:16):
I talking too much? And she goes, no, I love it.

Speaker 3 (45:18):
So that's why we decided also to share on Mayham Monday,
because of the fact that we do talk a lot
about a lot of things. Yeah, yeah, all right, this
next one's next one's a bit how are you going?
All right? Glenn doesn't seem like he'd be an emotionally
supportive person. First of all, you're wrong, And then she said, oh,

(45:40):
he says, am I wrong?

Speaker 2 (45:42):
Yes, you are cut into that first part of the question.
Am I different? Do you think than what you first expected?
Because you had seen a bit of me online? Yeah,
we'd met inadvertently at a boxing thing Monday, so then
you took a bit of an interest in me from
a boxing point of view. I mean, do I represent
differently online to who you experience for me?

Speaker 3 (46:05):
Not really? You definitely the expectation I guess it's better
than what I expected. Not saying that it's bad when
you look online, you have a great online presence.

Speaker 2 (46:18):
I just had people that feedback I had the past
is that I'm I look aggressive or arrogant or but
I actually am very emotional. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (46:28):
No, Honestly, I think that's just a projection on people's
own feelings. Like yeah, to go to the whole question,
Glenn doesn't seem like he'd be an emotionally supportive person.
Am I wrong? I know you're strong, but you're still
a woman, and we need we do need emotional support.
Please don't take this as criticism. It's just an observation.

(46:49):
So first of all, I would say, yes, you are wrong.
He is one of the most emotionally supportive people that
I've ever met, you know, because that was one of
my non negotiables if we can go back to non negotiables,
is to be supportive of me, you know, not just
when a sushi. No exactly. So if you weren't, then

(47:09):
you know, we'd be having a different conversation. Because I'm
definitely up my standards to where there used to be
when I was a teenager or in my twenties early twenties.
So yeah, I guess, Yes, you are wrong. He he's
there for me whenever I need him. You know, I
could be crying and he's empathetic towards me, and he

(47:30):
sits there and he understands why I'm feeling the way
I'm feeling. Like earlier in the podcast, you know, he
wanted to know why I was crying. I'm crying now. Ah.
But yeah, so you are wrong. So I guess a
lot of the time we can assume what we want
to assume, or not even want to assume. But we

(47:50):
just assume things about people who we see on the
internet or maybe we've met a few times and we
don't actually really know him. And that's not a bad thing.
That's just a normal human thing. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (48:03):
I think people get a misconception with me that I'm
just hashtag the grind, hashtag the hustle, that I'm all
about go go go, and we don't stop. And that's
not true. Like I can be really busy, but when
you need anything, I will stop. I will hang up
phone calls if Millie rings me, unless I was in
the middle of a business call, but I to go

(48:26):
and I'll answer Milly because I know that she needs
to be seen and heard as opposed to just told,
Like it's not good enough for me to tell her
when I get home of a night that I love her.
If we're apart even an hour, like you're just going
to a medical appointment or I'm going to do something,
it's not uncommon at all for either one of us
to text other ones I miss you and some of

(48:48):
my guy it's a bit needy. You've only been a
part of an hour, but that's just you'll go to
the gym sometimes and you'll message me and say how
I miss you, And it's not saying hey, you need
to run after me right now at the gym, it's
just say no, I miss you when we're not to
I think it's okay to share those levels of feelings
and emotions. And I definitely am a emotional person. I'm
a cancer. If you're into star Science, hard exterior, it's

(49:08):
soft interior. So the best way to do anything with
me is to play on my emotions. If you attack
me physically or verbally, I'm a fighter. I'll handle that.
But if you're soft, then you're more likely to get
what you want out of me. To give people an
inner secret to me.

Speaker 3 (49:24):
And you have given so much of your life, you know, physically,
whether it be training athletes or taking people on walks
or whatever. You've given so much. Financially, you've given so much. Emotionally,
You've given lots of advice to people. You're definitely such
a supportive person. And yeah, we said this to each

(49:46):
other when we first started dating. It's like, I'd happily
go to war with you.

Speaker 2 (49:50):
And that's our answer, right, would just go to war
with this person because in war you've got to trust
people implicitly. I just want to acknowledge that question. It's
I think it can sound like a challenging question, but
it's been asked to such a nice way the way
they finished it to say, please don't take this as criticism.
I'm just wondering. And so I'm just to whoever wrote
that say thank you.

Speaker 3 (50:10):
Yeah, thanks, all right, sorry when I was on the
wrong question. What are your strengths and weaknesses? How do
you overcome one and utilize the other? I guess in
a relationship sense. We've spoken about that really so far. Yeah,

(50:32):
So I don't know if there's too much that we
can add to that.

Speaker 2 (50:35):
So personally, we talked a week or two back about
one of my strengths is consistency, like I always like
to show up, and I don't know how to how
to strengthen that is just to keep doing it, I guess.
But a lot of people get focused in personal development
or even as athletes, on just working on their weaknesses.
And I remember years ago I ran a camp for

(50:57):
the ifswitch Jets and Ben Cross was a coach at
the time, and some people didn't love his coaching song,
some people did, but I always admired the way he
did things because I got up and talked to them
about getting them to do a SWAT analysis, so their
strengths are weaknesses, opportunities to improve and the threats to
them improving, which is a business format that used personally.

(51:19):
They wrote such long lists about their weaknesses and very
few around their strengths. And he got up and I
love this, and he said to him, I just want
to remind you men that you are in this team
for your strengths, so don't ignore them, because that's why
I have you here, and so I want you to
enhance your strengths and if you improve your weaknesses, as
long as it's not taking away from your strengths, because

(51:40):
that's why you're in the team. So if you're a
front row forward and you don't have a good step
and whatever, who cares. That's not what I've got you
in the team. But if you're a back or a
center and you can't stepway and past, we've probably got
a slightly different problem. So and I took that away
in a personal development sense to say, we're also focused
on how to improve my weakness, but your strengths are

(52:00):
your strengths, and they should be enhanced too. So my
strengths are that I will show up. If I say
I'm going to do something, I will show up. I
can be going through the most emotional trauma. I went
into a talk years ago on the Gold Coast and
I received an email from someone very close to me
that was a bit accusatory of some things that were
very uncomfortable, and it was very devastating to read initially

(52:22):
at the time without understanding the mental health of this
person and what was going on that became clear later.
At the time, it was it hurt. It hit me
right here, and I walked in and did that talk.
And you've just got to show up and be that
person and then later on I'll go and deal with
that thing. Because so people have employed me to run
that session to inspire their team. They don't care about

(52:45):
my baggage. They just care that to do what I'm
paid to do. So from that point of view, how
do you enhance your strengths? I think, recognize them and
just keep working on them and understand these strengths and
then with your weaknesses, improve what you can where you can,
but not at the risk of your strengths. Yeah, that's
what that's my opinion.

Speaker 3 (53:04):
What are your strength I would say my drive, my
work ethic, and my ability to I guess, which is
a big one for me and I've spoken about this
on this podcast, on my page so many things. My
ability to continue what I'm doing regardless of what people say.
So I've had a lot of negative feedback in my

(53:25):
life based on my life, and that's you know fair.
People can feel and think however they want to think
based on theirs. But regardless of what people say, what
people think, I continue to do what I'm going to do,
what I said I'm.

Speaker 2 (53:37):
Going to do. I've seen very few people with your
work ethic. Look, I've literally watched Billy not sleep for
nearly forty eight hours just between work, and I'll say,
maybe you should have a sleep, no kids footies on
going to the kids footy and then you know, I
haven't done much with them this week, so we're going
to take them out to the water park and we're
going to I'm thinking, like, since you could have sleep
somewhere in there, but you're so focused on doing the

(53:57):
right thing for your people that you will literally just
push through that and then go straight back to work
and you've had an hour or sleep. I think, how
are you doing that? But that's you. Your work is astronomical,
and I've always thought I've got a pretty good work,
but yours are solid.

Speaker 3 (54:11):
Thank you. My weakness would be probably emotional control, as
you can see with how many times I've cried today
and just my temper, which we have spoken about. But
I will say that I'm have been actively working on
that for a number of years now, and I know
my triggers and I try and deal with that very well.
So good chat, Good chat. That's it for the questions

(54:39):
around the relationship. There was, like we said, lots of feedback,
ones some that we've chosen not to share. Simply because
they were too explicit or they were just a little
bit unnecessary. Again, I don't need to be complimented on
my look so much unless it's from you, And.

Speaker 2 (54:56):
So I don't understand men. Sometimes I'll be really honest
and this is a lot of women probably suffer from this.
But some of the things comments that you guys get
on things because like you're inactive where you're inviting these
conversations around sexuality. That know, like it's okay to celebrate
my physical body or to be happy with how I
look without me saying I want your sexual attention. It's

(55:21):
not that. So don't just assume that everything put online
is to gratify you. But that's what it seems to be.
And I know I'm kind of generalizing there, but that's
just based off some of the things that come through
can be inappropriate, and I understand that some people are
sending stuff through to try and offend. You're not going
to get there. But we work in personal development, which

(55:42):
means we work on personal development as well. And so
even if you wrote the hell of thing that was
meant to trigger us, we'll deal with that ourselves. We're
not going to sit on here and let that effect
us because it changes the output we have to other people,
so operate at a high level. I guess it's a
message I'm saying there and saying I'm as a man,
sending this message to men just be better, because you know,

(56:04):
if we society to be better, we've each got to
hold our role. And you've got to think about I'm
conscious of this, the young men that we're raising. I
never want those boys to see me mistreat you, because
no one should ever see their mother disrespected and no
one should ever think, well, now, that's how women are
treated as a result of you know, and I'm fortunate

(56:26):
that I watched mistreatment growing up. But I've never carried
that behavior out. I've never been domestically violent. I'm not
saying I've been perfect in everything I do, but I've
certainly not. So someone has to improve. I've not behaved
the way my father behaved and so, and I don't
know where he learned it from, but I'm sure there's
a carry on. But at some point where does the buckstop.
And I love this quote or idea, which isn't just

(56:49):
around this, it's around life in general. But it said
your goal in life should be the best that your
bloodline has ever seen. And that's what I want to do.
Don't use your dad or your granddad as an excuse
to keep doing what you do. Be the best that
your bloodline has ever seen. And if you do that,
then you've made any packed in your family and in
your world.

Speaker 3 (57:07):
It can be unfortunate to listen to men sometimes because
you know, they go, you know, I want to be
with somebody just like my mother. And that's apparently a
psychological study where you know, women will seek out men
like their dads and vice versa. But you know, then
you'll ask a man like, oh, what was your mom like?
And she's like, Oh, she just put up with so much,
she just did everything. Like so you want your wife

(57:28):
to be you want your wife to do that, You
want your wife to put up with all your bullshit?
You want your wife to do all of the things.

Speaker 2 (57:34):
Do you want your daughter?

Speaker 3 (57:35):
Yeah? Yeah, yeah. So, while I understand where they may
be coming from, like she's such a strong woman for
having been put through all that and still kept doing
the things that she needed to do. She shouldn't have
to put up with that. And still, you know, she
should be treated amazingly because women are amazing.

Speaker 2 (57:54):
One thing I've learned from you, and maybe not directly
from you, but from being with you, is that people
might disagree with me on this, but I'm going to
say this anyway that as a man, when you're in
a relationship with someone, this is your queen and that's
there's no lower standard. You don't lower from that point
of view. So anytime you get given feedback from your

(58:15):
queen that you're not getting something right, I do take
it personally. But then on the other side of that,
you okay, well, now it's going to be better. And
I wake up every morning honestly with the intention of
being the best version I can, and I write a
message to merely every single day. And this morning I
wrote the message while I was making your coffee, because
I make her a coffee every morning, and I said
to her that making coffee for you in the morning

(58:37):
is the best part of my day. It's how a
lot to start my day because it's my active service
to the person that I love the most, and then
everything else that happens in my day after that is good.
And if we have a little disagreement, sometimes there's a
couple of weeks, maybe last week where I said you
were having a little disagreem about something. I said, you
want a coffee and she said, yeah, I'll make it myself.
And I said, that actually really hurts me because making

(59:01):
the coffee is more than just making the coffee. Yeah,
I know, yeah, and I just in this morning's message,
I just wanted to explain that to her. But to me,
my message to finish off for this week's episode for men,
and this is I can't speak for everyone, is that
if you've chosen a woman to be in your life,
and she's chosen to be in your life, that is
your queen. Your mates don't come in between that, your

(59:22):
mum and dad don't come in between that, that is
your queen.

Speaker 3 (59:25):
Yeah, love it. I'll finish off with this. Someone sent
through a piece of feedback it's really nice, so we'll
finish off on this. But they said, I can feel
the love through the screen. Thank you for showing that
side of you guys. So thanks.

Speaker 2 (59:36):
I've had that feedback a bit from people too, and
I love you people are feeling in an experience. Y. Yes, Sam,
Thanks Dane.

Speaker 3 (59:42):
Thank you have good week.

Speaker 1 (59:47):
Thanks for listening to this episode of the Building Better
Humans Podcast with your host, Glenn a'ser for feedback. To
stay up to date, or go back and find an
old episode, head over to one eighty Donnett don Au, Yeah,
the Building, Better Humors, Project Pocas, Let's go Hope,