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November 27, 2025 • 10 mins

Recognizing Negativity Bias: The Silent Confidence Killer

In this powerful episode of the Building Better Humans Project podcast, host Glenn explores the concept of negativity bias - our brain's tendency to notice negative experiences faster, feel them more deeply, and remember them longer than positive ones. This isn't just theoretical psychology; it's an ancient survival mechanism that's actively affecting your relationships, career decisions, and emotional wellbeing right now. Glenn shares personal examples from his military background to illustrate how this evolutionary wiring, while once crucial for survival, now silently erodes our confidence and happiness in the modern world.

This episode isn't about pointing fingers at others but recognizing this pattern within ourselves. As Glenn powerfully states, "Negativity bias isn't your fault, but it is your responsibility." Through practical tools and a framework for awareness, listeners will discover how to identify when negativity bias is hijacking their thoughts and learn specific techniques to counter its effects.

Timestamps and Key Takeaways:

**2:15** - Definition of negativity bias and why it's hardwired into our brains
* Your brain treats negative information as survival threats
* One negative comment outweighs ten compliments

**4:30** - Real-world examples of negativity bias in:
* Relationships - focusing on one mistake instead of consistent support
* Parenting - remembering the one bad moment with your teenager
* Work - letting one failure overshadow twenty wins
* Self-belief - defining yourself by mistakes rather than progress

**7:45** - Five practical tools to counter negativity bias:
* Name it as it's happening
* Ask better questions to challenge assumptions
* Slow down your response
* Balance the scales by deliberately reinforcing positivity
* Regulate your nervous system

**11:20** - Five reflection questions to identify your patterns
* Where does negativity bias hit you hardest?
* Recent examples from your own life
* The long-term cost if left unchecked

**14:30** - Information about upcoming retreats and adventure opportunities

Ready to break free from the grip of negativity bias and unlock better relationships, calmer decision-making, and greater confidence? This episode provides the awareness and tools you need to update your mental "software" and become a little better today than you were yesterday. Listen now and discover how managing this one cognitive pattern could transform your entire life.

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Appodjay Production.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
Hey, team gnaes here, welcome back to the Building Better
Humans Paget podcast, the podcast designed to inspire you to
be better than yesterday in your mindset, your behaviors, your actions,
and in the way you show up for the people
that you care about. Now, before we kick off, as always,
a quick reminder that today's episode is brought to you
by Adventure Professionals. If you need to reset, a challenge

(00:30):
or a chance to reconnect with who you are and
what you want in life, then get yourself on an
adventure with us. We've got Kakoda Everespace Camp, Mount Kilimanjaro,
dog sitting in the Yukon Ossie ten peaks, all the
good things. So I'd love to get you involved in
that because it's going to really take you out of
not just listening to this podcast, but being a part
of something that is a whole lot bigger. Today, I've

(00:52):
got a goodie for you, the old negativity bias, and
I want to talk about it in a way that
helps you to recognize it in you, not in other people.
Again the same as Wednesday's episode, because I want you
to recognize this in you, not in the world at
but in your everyday reactions, emotions, and choices, because I
promise you this is affecting you. The bias is to

(01:13):
me one of the biggest silent killers of confidence, relationships, careers, opportunities,
and even emotional wellbeing, and most people don't even know
it's happening. So negativity bias is your brain's tendency to
notice negative things faster, feel them more deeply, remember them
for longer, and give them more weight than neutral or

(01:33):
positive experiences. Your brain is wired to treat negative information
like a threat to your survival. One negative comment outweighs
ten compliments. One mistake overshadows a whole day of winds.
One difficult conversation keeps your wake longer than all the
good moments combined. Does that sound familiar, because I know
I've been through it. If it does sound familiar, I

(01:56):
want to tell you this. It's not a flaw. That's
your ancient survival wiring doing what it's built to do.
Let me take you back to the army for a second.
When you're a young soldier, especially in places like Bogainville,
where I spent time in ninety eight, your job is
to pay attention to anything that looks even slightly off,
a shadow in the tree line, a strange noise, a

(02:16):
changing the rhythm of the village. You had to pick
up on the negative signals more than the positive ones.
That vigilance is what kept you and your mate to life.
The problem is the world we live in today doesn't
require that level of a hypervigilance. But the wiring is
still there, and so you react to emails, conversations, social

(02:36):
media comments, business challenges, your partner's tone of voice as
if they're threats. That's negativity bias at work. Most people
don't recognize a bias because it hides inside what feels
like the truth. It feels like I'm just being realistic,
I'm protecting myself, I'm preparing for the worst. But often
what you're really doing is interpreting harmless things, negatively, reacting

(03:01):
emotionally before thinking, assuming the worst about situations or people,
replaying past mistakes, catastrophizing the future, or just talking yourself
out of opportunities. So let me give you some examples. Relationships.
Your partner forgets something small and suddenly your brain jumps
to they don't care, they don't listen. This always happens,

(03:24):
But when they go out of their way to love you,
support you, encourage you. That stuff fads really quickly. Parenting
your teenager does nine good things today, but the one
time they talk back, that's the moment that you carry
with you. Work in business, you could have twenty minutes
in a week, but the sorry twenty wins, not twenty minutes,

(03:45):
because I'd love to have twenty minutes in a week
sometimes on a bad week, on a good week, I
want more of them. No, you could have twenty wins
in a week, but the small failure or the one
difficult email sits heavier than all of those wins combined.
Your own self belief. You define yourself by your mistakes,
not your strengths, but where you're not yet instead of

(04:08):
how far you've come is more important. And yet that
shouldn't be the case. How far you come should be
more important. This bias quietly erode your confidence, your relationships,
your performance, and your emotional balance. Here's the big thing
that I want you to hear today. Negativity bias isn't
your fault. But again, as I said on Wednesday, it

(04:30):
is your responsibility. You didn't choose the wiring, but you
get to choose how much power you give it. This
episode is about awareness, because awareness, as I've said on
again earlier this week, is about change. When we've got awareness,
we can begin to change. Because once you can name
the bias, you stop believing every story your brain throws

(04:51):
at you. You create space between stimulus and response, and
that space is your power, all right, So let's get practical.
These are the exact tools that I recommend you use
and the tools that I coach clients, athletes, business owners, parents,
everyone Number one. Name it as it's happening.

Speaker 1 (05:10):
Now.

Speaker 2 (05:10):
This sounds simple, but it's powerful. The moment you feel
yourself spiral and or over reacting, say this is my
negativity bias talking. When you label it, you separate you
from the reaction. Step two is to just ask better questions.
Negativity bias thrives on assumptions and emotional shortcuts, So ask yourself,

(05:31):
what else could this mean? What's the actual evidence of this?
Is this a threat or just a discomfort? Am I
reacting to the situation or my story about the situation.
These questions pull you back into the logical part of
your brain. Step three is to slow down your response.
Your first reaction is often the emotional fear based one.

(05:54):
I want you to pause, breathe, and buy yourself some time.
This alone has saved people's relationships, business, and confidence. Step foward.
Balance the scales manually. Because positivity fades faster, you have
to reinforce it deliberately. Write down your winds, celebrate progress,

(06:14):
acknowledge the good in yourself and others. You're not creating
fake positivity. You're simply countering the natural heaviness of the negative.
And your last step is to regulate your nervous system.
You've heard me say this a thousand times. A disregulated
nervous system creates a disregulated life. If your body is tense, overloaded, underslept,

(06:35):
under recovered, everything feels like a bigger threat. Movement, breathing, time, outdoors,
space from your phone, a walk, adventure. These things calm
the nervous system and quieten negativity bias. Here's a simple
reflection that I'd love you to do after this episode.
Five questions. One where does negativity bias hit you the hardest? Relationships, work, parenting, training,

(06:59):
self talk? Two? What's an example from the last week
where you only notice the negative? Three? What would a
more balanced interpretation have looked? Like, four, if this pattern
continues unchecked, what's the cost? And five, if you learn

(07:19):
to manage it, what would change in your life? These
five questions will give you more insight than most people
get in a lifetime. Again, where does Negativity Buyers hit
you the hardest? What's an example from the last week
where you only notice the negative? What would a more
balanced interpretation have looked like? If this pattern continues unchecked,
what's the cost? And if you learn to manage it,

(07:41):
what would change in your life? Negativity buyas makes you smaller,
It holds you back from trying things, It limits your growth,
It makes you reactive instead of intentional. It creates unnecessary conflict,
and it robs you of joy. When you learn to
manage it, you unlock better relationships, calmer decision making, more resilience,

(08:02):
more confidence, more emotional stability, more opportun unities, and a
better version of you for the people who need you.
This is the real work, This is the internal stuff
that changes everything. Team Negativity Buys is not the enemy.
It's just an outdated software running in a modern world.

(08:22):
And like any software, you can update it, not perfectly,
not instantly, but consistently, and that's what this podcast is
all about being a little better today than you were yesterday.
That's it team, Thanks again for listening to the building,
but here it's project Podcast. If this episode resonated with you,
and I'm going to really push this a bit more,
I want you to share it with someone who might

(08:43):
need it, because you'll be surprised. Alten and someone goes, man,
I needed to hear that today. And if you personally
need to reset a challenge, a way to break negative
loops and reconnect with yourself, then again, I'd love you
to join us on an adventure. You know where to
find us Adventure Professionals www dot Adventure Professionals dot com
dot au. When you're ready for the next level, we're
ready to take you there. And in twenty two, tenty

(09:05):
six and beyond, we're going to start running our retreats
again as well. So not everything is a hard paced
climb and mountain be out in the Jungle Adventure. We're
going to start to run some retreats that are particularly
built for people that want to specialize in leadership, in communication,
maybe in building businesses, in building teams. All of that
sort of stuff is going to be tied into the

(09:25):
whole personal and professional development framework into these retreats. I
used to run these a lot. I'm going to start
to get back into them because they are just incredibly powerful.
That's in team. Thanks for listening. Remember go out today
and be the absolute best version of you.

Speaker 1 (09:53):
Thanks for listening to this episode of The Building Better
Humans Podcast with your host Glenn a'ser for feedback. To
stay up to date or go back and find an
old episode, head over to one eighty don Dona Yeah,
The Building Better Humans Project Podcasts. Let's go
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