Parenting under pressure

Parenting is one of the most rewarding things we do but it's also one of the hardest. There's no playbook but lots of people willing to give you advice. 

I think it's a major pain point in building ourselves into a better human.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:05):
Appoche production.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
Yeah, The Building Better Humans Project Podcast. Welcome, be motivated
and be inspired.

Speaker 3 (00:19):
Let's go, heyteen glenes a here, Welcome back to The
Building Better Humans Project Podcast. Today's episode hits close to
home for a lot of us because we're talking about
one of the biggest stresses in adult life, and that's parenting. Now,
let's be honest, most of us are just trying to
do our best, but throwing work stress, financial pressures, maybe

(00:41):
running a business, managing a relationship, and somewhere in the
middle of that, we're trying to raise great humans. So
it's no wonder we get exhausted. Today, I want to
give you some practical, research based tools of a book
that I've been reading recently called Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids.
It's written by doctor Laura Markham. This one's for every
parent who wants to do better but feels like they're

(01:04):
always running on empty. Now, parenting has always been a challenge,
but modern parenting that's another level. Most of us are
parenting without a village, often while both parents work, or
we're solo parenting altogether. We're exposed to thousands of opinions online,
constantly bombarded with what we should be doing. Then real

(01:27):
life kicks in work meetings, deadlines, bills piling up, not
enough sleep, and you're expected to stay calm during a
toddler meltdown or a teenage attitude. It's like walking a
tightrope while juggling flaming swords. But here's the truth. It's
not about being perfect. It's about learning tools that help
you stay regulated even when things are chaotic. Now, Doctor

(01:51):
Laura Markham's peaceful parenting approach is built on three core pillars,
and I want to unpack them for you because they're
fairly powerful, but they're also practical. Number one, and I
love this is regulate yourself first. This is the hard,
especially when life is overwhelming. But kids coregulate with us.
If we're stressed, snapy or yelling, that becomes their normal.

(02:14):
If we're calm, even when we're firm, they learn how
to manage big emotions. That means taking a pause, breathing,
and choosing a response over a reaction. Her second pillar
is to connect before you correct. Connection creates cooperation. When
your children feel seen safe, they're more likely to listen.

(02:35):
This doesn't mean you don't set boundaries. It means you
do it from a place of empathy. Think about it.
We all respond better when we feel understood. I mean,
that's just a given right. And a third pillar is
to coach, don't control. We're not raising obedient robots, we're
raising humans. Coaching means help them build skills, emotional regulation,

(02:57):
decision making, resilience. You're the guide, not the dictator. You
don't need punishments, in need conversations. Now, let's bring that
into the real world. Because theory is great, But what
do you do when you're sleep deprived, when your inbox
is full, when you've got a late bill, when your
kid just through their lunch on the floor. This is
where Dr Markham's tools shine. The pause button. Before you yell,

(03:19):
breathe and I'm serious, breathe. Take three slow breaths. That
gives your brain space to choose calm. You're not being
weak by staying calm, you're being powerful. Special time just
ten minutes. One of the biggest game changes is special
time ten minutes a day, no phones, no distractions, just
let your child lead. It fills their emotional cut, reduces

(03:40):
a tension seeking behavior, and strengthens your bond. And when
your bond is strong, discipline becomes easier, and I know
we've been using this one personally. We've noticed that we've
merely training two to three times a day with the
businesses and all the other stuff that we've got going on,
that the kids are starting to misbehave a litt bit
now they're ten and eleven years old. So we've just
been triing this idea where every night she goes into

(04:02):
their rooms before they go to sleep and with each
of the boys for ten minutes and just lays there
and they chat. No devices, no phones, no iPads. That's
all taken away from them well before then anyway. But
it's definitely in my mind, I'm seeing a real difference creator.
So it's definitely creating that difference. You just have to
make the time. The next one is validate feelings without

(04:24):
fixing everything. When your child's upset. Try this, I see
you really frustrate, and that makes sense. So you're not
solving the problem and you're teaching them it's okay to
feel big emotions. That's gold for their emotional intelligence. And
let's be real, you're not going to get it right.
Every time I've lost my temper before. You probably have to.
The goal isn't perfection. It's repair. I was angry and

(04:44):
I yelled. That wasn't okay. I'm sorry, let's talk. That's
how we model growth. Why is all this worthy effort?
Because parenting isn't just about raising kids. It's about shaping
the next generation of adults, emotionally intelligent, connected, confident humans
who know how to handle life. And here's the As

(05:06):
you work on peaceful parenting, you become a better leader, partner,
and human. You build more patience, you communicate more clearly,
You stop reacting and start responding. It's not just for
the kids, it's for you too. You're building a calmer,
more connected home, and that impacts everything else that you do.

(05:27):
Parenting under pressure is real, but you don't have to
do it alone, and you don't have to be perfect.
Start small. Maybe this week you pick one moment each
day to breathe instead of blow up. Maybe you can't
out ten minutes of special time. Maybe just say I'm
doing my best today and that's enough. The book Peaceful Parenting,
Happy Kids isn't just a book. It's a mindset shift,

(05:50):
one that says, your calm is contagious, your presence is powerful,
and your love is enough. Hope that helps them. Thanks
for joining me today on the Building Better Humans Project.
If this resonated, please share it with someone who needs it,
and remember you're not alone on this journey.

Speaker 1 (06:12):
Thanks for listening to this episode of the Building Better
Humans Podcast with your host Glenn a'sa for feedback. To
stay up to date or go back and find an
old episode, head over to one ady dot net dot au.

Speaker 2 (06:25):
Yeah, the Building Better Humors Project parcres this guy