S2/E42 The Psychology of Money and Abundance

In this episode, I break down four mindset shifts that completely changed how I think about money and helped me build real wealth. I talk about why playing offense instead of defense matters, how separating money from emotion leads to better decisions, why resentment keeps people financially stuck, and how your income often reflects your self worth. These insights come directly from my own journey and are meant to help you shift your beliefs, create more value, and develop a healthier relationship with money. If you’re ready to think differently about your finances and take control of your future, this episode is for you.

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Episode Transcript

S1 (00:00):
Welcome to business and the podcast for people making it
all happen. Running a successful business completely takes over your life,
but I'm a believer that there is still room for
some ands like health, wealth, beauty, and maybe even some fashion.
On this podcast, I'll share with you what's working for
scaling my nine figure business while keeping you up to
date on the latest trends, news and fun finds. This

(00:23):
is a place for business and let's dive in!

S2 (00:26):
Welcome back to business. And today we are talking about
the psychology of money. What does it take to think
about money differently so that you actually have a different result.
And you can tell what your psychology is around money
by doing one simple thing, opening up your bank account.
If you did that right now, what would it show?

(00:47):
Do you make a lot of money but then also
spend a lot of money? Do you make money and
invest your money or are you not making very much money?
The psychology in your thoughts around money dictate the actual
results that you have. And what's really great about money
is you can measure the results, which means that you
can start to identify your thoughts, potentially broken beliefs around money.

(01:08):
So with that, let's dive in. The way you think
about money is holding you back from building your dream life.
I have made millions in business, but my biggest financial
breakthroughs came from understanding the psychology of money and the
beliefs I had about wealth, success, and my own worth.
So these are the four mindset shifts that will help

(01:28):
change the way you think about money and build real wealth.
Shift number one play offense, not defense. I had this
goal of $10,000 in passive income per month, and one
night many years ago, I sat down and actually did
the math on what I needed to earn and then
invest in order to hit that goal. But at the
rate that I was going focusing on saving, cost cutting,

(01:52):
and being conservative, I realized I wouldn't hit my $10,000
goal until I was 56 years old. At the time,
I was in my early 20s and I remember staying
up the entire night with knots in my stomach because
it hit me. I was playing defense when I needed
to be playing offense. Defense is how do I save

(02:12):
my way to wealth. Offense is what problem am I
going to solve? That creates so much value that I
can get paid today to solve that problem. The true
question is what value am I going to build and
what assets can I generate? And you really can't save
your way to significant wealth. It's mathematically impossible. The wealthiest

(02:32):
people are never the best savers. Sure, they're good with
money and they don't blow money on stupid things, but
in order to get truly wealthy, their value is through creation.
So look at where you're spending your time right now.
If you're spending more time cutting expenses than you are
building income, you're playing defense. Start asking the number one

(02:54):
offense question what skill could I develop that would pay
me twice my income over the next 12 months? Even
if you're early in your career, the mindset shift of
I am a value creator versus I am a cost
cutter changes everything about how you approach solving problems. Next
up is number two. Don't let your emotions control your money.

(03:16):
When I was 16, I was so embarrassed about the
car that I drove that I would actually lie to
my friends. I tell them that my parents car was
my car because I wanted them to think I was wealthy,
even though obviously I wasn't wealthy at 16, my parents
were wealthy and I had phenomenal parents because they never
let me get confused that their money was not my money.

(03:38):
There's clear separation. I was broke, they worked hard and
had good jobs. Their value creation work was not also
my reward. It was their reward. But at the time,
I had this crippling need for people to think that
I had money. It was embarrassing to me that I
didn't have more money, and I thought that people would
feel bad for me if they knew that I didn't
have money, even though realistically no one cared. But the

(04:01):
worst part is what it drew my attention to as
I started to make money as an early adult. You see,
later when I actually started making my own money, instead
of using it correctly, I would overspend in order to
signal success before I actually did what was required to
truly afford the lifestyle I was buying things that I
didn't even necessarily want, but it was because I associated

(04:24):
them with some status symbol. It was almost compulsive. Every
purchase was driven by insecurity, what other people were buying,
and a desperate desire for me to want to fit
in and in some ways to feel worthy. But here's
what I didn't understand. Every financial decision that you make
is first emotional and then logical. Oftentimes, you're not buying

(04:47):
the thing. You're buying relief from an emotion. Fear of
missing out, shame about where you are in your career,
anxiety about the future, the need to feel secure or
impressive or successful. This is why someone making $150,000 a
year can be broke, while someone making $60,000 a year
can start to build wealth. It's not about the numbers.

(05:10):
It's about the emotional driver behind the money that they're spending.
When you're driven by fear, you actually end up hoarding
things and you can misidentify who you truly are with stuff. Sure,
your stuff can be a reflection of you, but your
stuff isn't you. You have inherent value. You have a
point of view. You are able to create things. Stuff
can never do that. And so when you're driven by insecurity,

(05:32):
you overspend. When you're driven by shame, you avoid looking
at your finances altogether. And none of these emotional patterns
have anything to do with how much money you actually make.
Until you understand what emotions are controlling your money, you
can't change the pattern. So start tracking not just what
you spend, but why you spend it. Before any purchase,

(05:56):
pause and ask yourself this question what emotion am I
trying to fix with this purchase? Am I buying this
because I feel inadequate? Because I'm stressed? Because I want
someone to think I'm successful? Notice the purchases that make
you feel good for an hour, but then anxious the
next day. Those are emotional, not logical. When you can
name the emotion, you can choose a different response instead

(06:17):
of automatically reaching for your wallet. The third shift is
to break the resentment mindset. Earlier in my career, I
would see women making money and being successful, and I
wasn't happy for them, I really wasn't. I was insecure
and I was jealous. If someone announced a big win
or hit a milestone, I wouldn't want to celebrate with
them or to even acknowledge their success, which came from

(06:39):
this place of scarcity, as if there was only so
much success to go around and they were taking my share.
I didn't want to be that way, and I don't
think it made me a bad person, but it was
a massive block because I wasn't cheering for their success.
I wasn't coming from a place of abundance, and it
wasn't until my mid 20s that I learned to reframe this.
If they can have theirs, then so can I. There

(07:00):
is no shortage of money on this planet and I
just had to go get mine. I could actually use
their wins as fuel to remind me that it's possible
for me to be successful, and then suddenly successful people
became inspiring instead of threatening. Resentment towards wealth is one
of the most self sabotaging patterns you can have. Because
if you subconsciously believe that money makes people bad or

(07:24):
greedy or shallow, you will never let yourself become wealthy.
Your brain will find ways to keep you where you're
feeling morally comfortable, and this shows up as judging people
for flaunting their success. Rolling your eyes at people who
are ambitious or thinking that money changes people in a
negative way. But when you genuinely celebrate other people's wins,

(07:45):
you're telling yourself and the world that wealth is safe.
It's good, and it's also available to you. Pay attention
to your internal reaction. When someone you know gets a raise,
buy something nice, or shares a huge win. Are you
genuinely happy or is there a little voice saying must
be nice or they're so lucky? When you do this,

(08:08):
then practice celebrating others not in a fake way, but
by genuinely finding a way to be happy for them
because their success actually has nothing to do with yours.
So if you find yourself judging someone else's wealth, ask
what belief about money is making me uncomfortable right now.
What am I doing that makes me uncomfortable right now?

(08:28):
Because if you thought you could just go out and
get yours, you wouldn't be worried about what they're doing.
And lastly, reframe wealthy people from threats to teachers. What
can I learn from how they think? If you want
to get clear on your financial targets, you should find
me on Instagram and DM me goals so I can
send you the exact form that I use to break

(08:49):
down my personal, professional, and financial goals. And I've helped
thousands of other people do the exact same. The last
mindset shift is that money mirrors your self-worth. When I
first started making real money, I had this epiphany I
was still spending. Like I had something to prove. It
was almost compulsive. I couldn't stop myself from buying things
that I didn't even like or need. I was buying

(09:11):
things just because I could, not because I actually wanted
them or that they had any value to my life.
One day I opened up my makeup drawer and I
realized that I had 40 different lipsticks. I was buying
these things because my worth was connected to them. I
hadn't repositioned for myself that my worth was through the
work and the impact that I was making, so I

(09:32):
no longer needed to identify with these things that I
once didn't have. And so my identity had changed. I
had new financial assets, new skills, and new income, but
my self-worth was still so low. I was trying to
fill an internal gap with external purchases, and no amount
of spending can fill that gap. Because the problem wasn't
what I owned, it was how I saw myself. This

(09:54):
is why lottery winners often go broke, and why people
who hate themselves at £150 still hate themselves at £130.
External changes don't fix internal beliefs. If you don't believe
you're worthy of wealth, you will unconsciously find ways to
get rid of it. Overspending, bad investments, letting people take
advantage of you. Your relationship with money is a direct

(10:17):
reflection of your relationship with yourself. People who have high
self-worth invest in assets, set boundaries, and make decisions from abundance.
People with low self-worth spend to impress, avoiding investments in
themselves and end up sabotaging their own growth. And your
bank account will never exceed your self-worth long term unless

(10:38):
you inherit it. But then you have a whole new
set of problems, and the fix for this is to
become the person that you want to be. My dad
always told me growing up that becoming is superior to being,
and I thought that this was my dad's genius quote.
But come to find out that this is actually a
quote directly from Abe Lincoln. But the point of it
is really important. Who you're becoming and what you're doing

(11:00):
will always be where you can find the most amount
of comfort and excitement, and where you should be investing
instead of focused on where you are today and what
you need to look like today and who you need
to be today. Know who are you becoming? What does
the future look like? And this is tied directly to investing,
because today you have to start investing in your actual skills,

(11:22):
your health, your education, and the experiences that will grow
you as a person working on building self-worth through competence
and integrity, not through what you own. Your goal is
to get to a place where you feel valuable because
of who you are, not because of what you have.
If you want to keep building a mindset that actually
supports your goals, hit subscribe.

S1 (11:43):
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(12:04):
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