June 6, 2025 • 17 mins
Let’s talk about something no one warns you about when you start climbing the ladder of success: loneliness. In this episode, I’m pulling back the curtain on a hard truth I’ve lived and led through—the isolation that comes with growth. Whether you're scaling a business, leading a team, or chasing ambitious goals, you’ve probably felt it too.
I’m breaking down the real reason high performers feel disconnected (hint: it’s not just the workload), how this feeling changes as you evolve, and—most importantly—what you can actually do about it. I’m sharing the data, my personal experiences, and the mindset shifts that have helped me stay grounded while building big.
If you’ve ever thought “no one gets what I’m going through”—this one’s for you. Let’s stop pretending we have it all figured out and start having the conversations that matter.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
S1 (00:00):
Welcome to business and the podcast for people making it
all happen. Running a successful business completely takes over your life,
but I'm a believer that there is still room for
some ands like health, wealth, beauty, and maybe even some fashion.
On this podcast, I'll share with you what's working for
scaling my nine figure business while keeping you up to
date on the latest trends, news and fun finds. This
(00:23):
is a place for business and let's dive in.
S2 (00:26):
Welcome back to business and let's talk about being lonely.
It's a weird thing to talk about being lonely because
I think from the outside I don't look like I
would be lonely. I have built this business alongside amazing
business partners. I've built this alongside my husband, and I
have two of my family members, both of my brother
(00:49):
and my brother in law. But that still doesn't mean
that I haven't been lonely at times, and that I
haven't had a lot of difficulty spending time by myself
figuring out how to be a friend to myself, figuring
out problems that only I can solve. And that really
has been my journey. I think that that's every business
owner's journey, and I don't think it's actually just related
(01:11):
to business owners. I think people in general feel lonely
and don't know how to get out of that loneliness
feeling and don't know how to get out of people
not supporting them and at some level, people not understanding them.
And so with this loneliness epidemic that has certainly impacted
the world, and Covid 19 only made it even worse
(01:32):
because of the isolation. Here are the ways and the
tools and the things that I do in order to
not feel lonely and to overcome this loneliness epidemic. I
hope you enjoy. First up is the hardest one. Loneliness
is the cost of growth. If you're outgrowing your friends,
you need to walk away. You see, 58% of adults
(01:54):
in the United States report feeling lonely every single week.
I remember being in my mid-twenties, which was not that
many years ago, and I would show up to dinner
or a hangout with my friends who had been there
for me, but all of a sudden the conversations weren't
the same because I had changed. I was excited about
(02:14):
the business I was starting. I was excited about these
new opportunities that I was desperately trying to create for myself.
And instead of being met with excitement, instead of being
met with support, there was judgment, there were critical comments.
And I actually had one of my friends in a
group setting laugh at me over coffee. And I remember
going home and being in tears. I was beside myself
(02:37):
because I didn't want to create what I was creating
by myself. I just assumed that the people around me
would be happy for me. And what I discovered later
is this concept of the pace gap. You see, the
pace gap means that you're outpacing people around you in
some area of your life. It could be physically, it
could be financially, it could be professionally. And this gap
(02:58):
in the pace in which I was going left me
feeling empty and isolated, like I was doing something wrong
and maybe even silly and definitely invalidated in my dreams
and my goals and ambitions for my life. And I
actually had to move on from some of these friendships
because they were so unsupportive during this time frame. Now, today,
(03:19):
I look at this and can take ownership for the
fact that I had changed. It wasn't their fault. They
wanted to be exactly where they were, and I was
asking them to be somebody that they weren't. So I
don't try to make them wrong, and I appreciate them
for the role that they've had in my life. But
it also doesn't mean that I have to continue to
spend my time around them. And as you start to
(03:41):
bump into this pace gap, that is the most uncomfortable part.
You feel like you're trying to hold on to this
thing that you might need to let go of for
a while in order to get to where you're going.
You can go back to these people if they really
are good friends. You can always spend time with people
in the future if they turn out to be good friends.
But as you start to bump up against this pace gap,
(04:04):
while you are building your dreams and creating the life
that you want, it's okay to let go for the moment.
And the isolation is always better than holding on to
something that actually keeps you stuck. Losing people on your
journey is a natural part of growth, so let go
of the guilt when your circles shift. Next is number two,
(04:25):
which is that you will carry all of the weights alone.
You signed up for this. You see, the University of
San Francisco recently did a study showing that startup founders
are twice as likely to suffer from depression because carrying
risk alone can change your emotional baseline. It is easy
to shift into a new situation, a new place, a
(04:48):
new opportunity, and feel like you are entirely alone because
you've just risen the stakes. So let's talk about this
concept of the stake gap. Now, this is not stake
as in red meat. This is literally the stakes, because
if you are a business owner, you have just raised
the stakes. You have more at risk and with more
at risk. That's more pressure, and people around you simply
(05:10):
will not understand. You'll go to hang out with your friends,
and you will have all of this weight that you're
carrying around, and they are wondering why you're so stressed out,
why you can't hang out as much anymore, why you're
not interested in the same things. It's because you actually
are playing a bigger game and the game is heavier,
it's more involved, it's more challenging, and the people in
your life likely don't want the risk that you've just
(05:32):
taken on, so they're never going to understand. And this
creates significant loneliness. This gap in at least identifying and
seeing the gap does release some of the resentment that
can very quickly build up, especially when you're newer to
the raising of these stakes. But the key to this
is actually building support systems with people who do have
(05:54):
in the game. What I tell myself in these moments
is I chose to raise these stakes because I wanted
to play a bigger game. I was no longer satisfied
with being somebody else's invite to the cool event, or
not being able to pay for something that I wanted
to contribute to. So because I had a lack of
something and a desire for something, I needed to do
(06:15):
something that was much more risky in order to get
me to where I wanted to go. I was the
one who chose that. I wanted to go there. Nobody
forced this decision on me. I made this decision. And
when you take full responsibility for your choices, instead of
falling into depression and falling into being a victim and
telling yourself how hard it is, you can feel a
little bit lighter about it because you chose this. Next
(06:37):
is number three, which is you can't vent at work.
Power can make you silent as soon as you get
in a position of power. Your ability to be completely
open and honest with people goes away. Now, this doesn't
mean that you're lying, but it would be irresponsible to
tell everybody every thought that you have. And if you
tend to be an oversharer before starting a business, you
(06:59):
have to figure out how to curb this desire, because
people don't need to know every thought. If you're worried,
if you're frustrated, if you're concerned, if there's a problem,
they should never see it. I tell myself often. Never
let them see you sweat. There's only a handful of
people that get to know when I'm frustrated, when I'm
stressed out, because it is entirely inappropriate to confide in
(07:20):
your team members. You might think that you should talk
to your family to vent, or maybe your friends, but
what I ask myself is why do they need to
know my problems? Why am I burdening somebody else with
my problems? So you can't talk to your team members
because you have a new problem. There is now a
power gap. You are more responsible and you have more authority,
which becomes isolating. You can't share everything that's going on
(07:44):
when a team member quits or you have to fire somebody.
You can't tell somebody why you're actually bound by state
laws to not share this information, even though you are
a human being. And sometimes people do crazy shit and
you just want to tell somebody, you can't. This idea
of venting has to be reorganized as you take on
greater responsibilities, because venting to the wrong person can compromise
(08:07):
your team's cohesion, and it can compromise your judgment, and
it can compromise your results. So if this power gap
exists with your team, you can choose to seek others,
either peers, coaches, or mentors who you can vent to.
But before you just go off finding people that you
can vent to, let me just ask you this question
why do you need to vent? Is there something that
(08:29):
somebody can help you with? Do you just want someone
to listen to you? Do you want them to understand you? Like,
what is the reason that you need to tell somebody
about your problems? Sometimes this is just so habitual. Think
that you need somebody to listen to you when it's
not actually helpful, because they then give all of their
limiting beliefs onto you. You're not really trying to get
(08:50):
a problem, you're just talking. Well, if you just need
to talk to somebody, talk to a wall, talk to yourself,
just talk in the car. It doesn't matter who you're
talking to. Just get it out? But you don't actually
have to dump this onto other people. They are not
served by your problems, and if they can't actually help
you solve your problems, you're actually doing you and them
(09:10):
a disservice by venting. I know this is not popular
because it's very easy to just say, oh, you should
vent your problems. You should have somebody to talk to,
and you need a therapist. I don't believe in any
of that. Because why do you need somebody to talk to?
If you have a problem, go to somebody who knows
how to help you solve that specific problem. But just
talking about all of your problems and all of your
challenges and what's happening in your life, no one cares.
(09:31):
They don't care if you're in a powerful position, and
they certainly don't care when you're not in a powerful position.
So just keep your business to yourself and solve your
own problems in a way that is congruent with the
life that you want to build. So this doesn't make
you lonely. Let's rebrand this. It makes you independent. This
brings me to my next point, which is that it
(09:51):
is certainly lonely at the top. Success and money doesn't
solve loneliness, but neither does being broke. So if we're
trying to solve the loneliness problem, we have to figure
out what are the roles of the people in our
lives and how do we create a support mechanism so
those people can actually serve us and we can help them.
So you have to ask yourself, what is the real
(10:12):
purpose of the people in your life? It might be
worthwhile for you to actually write this down. I did
this activity once, just a couple years ago, and it
changed everything for me because I was forcing everybody in
my life to fulfill a role that only one specific
group needed to help me with, which is the support
and the growth of the business. While my team members
should service in that role, they should help me and
(10:35):
be excited with me about what we're doing in our business.
But does my grandma need to be interested in my business?
Not necessarily. My grandma can be interested in giving me
comfort and support and love, and we can reminisce about
old times. That's the purpose and function of my grandma
in my life. It's not to keep me accountable and
keep me going and inspire me to drive my business forward.
(10:57):
Similarly with my friends, my friends are there for me
to have a good time and to be safe with
and to have trust with and enjoy moments where I'm
not at work. Well, I don't need them to give
me advice about work, which means that I don't bring
them my work problems. So when you start to reorganize
the function of the people in your life, you reduce
your expectations that might be holding you captive from expecting
(11:20):
your family and your friends to support you at work.
If you didn't have that expectation, you might be a
lot happier hanging out with your family and friends, because
that's actually not who you need that support from. Similarly,
I don't need the people I work with to make
me feel comfortable. That's not their job. My mom will
help me feel comfortable. My dad will make me feel comfortable.
My brother, my husband. Those are the people that I
(11:41):
want comfort from. But my people at work, I want
them holding me accountable. I want them pushing me. I
want us talking about targets and collectively helping each other
achieve goals. Number five would you rather be lonely and
successful or lonely and unsuccessful? You see, I've asked myself
this question in multiple phases of my career where I
had to go all in on a specific target and
(12:04):
I didn't have time to be with other people. There
was not time with friends. There was not time with family.
There was only time to create something that I was
so passionate about. But in many of those moments, I
felt entirely alone, and I wondered if it was ever
going to be worthwhile enough to bring people into my
life that would really appreciate, and maybe even be able
(12:25):
to add to this life that I wanted to build.
There was a specific moment six years ago where I
was working around the clock for months in order to
get this project off the ground, and even though I
work with my husband, he didn't understand the pressure I
was under, and he couldn't help me with any of
the problems that I was solving. So it was me, myself,
(12:47):
and I working through these problems because it mattered. It
mattered to me. It mattered to our clients, and it
mattered to our team. And the only reason today that
I get calls from people that I used to look
up to, that I used to study, and they're now
interested in messaging me. They're interested in hanging out with me.
They're interested in doing a collaboration is because I went
through these moments of loneliness to create something that I'm
(13:09):
proud of. I now have a result because those people
came into my life, not because I wanted to do
those things. No, because I actually made sacrifices and was
willing to go through a phase of loneliness to bring
in something that I didn't have at that time. Choosing
loneliness with purpose is far more powerful than tolerating loneliness
(13:30):
with regret. So focus on building you and your business,
and naturally, the right people will come into your life.
This final point is going to sound so cheesy, but
I mean this with every fiber of my being. You
have to be your own best friend. The most powerful
relationship that you can ever build is the relationship that
(13:53):
you have with yourself. If you do not like yourself,
if you talk poorly to yourself, if you don't believe
in yourself. Of course, you're going to feel lonely because
you're building something and other people don't understand, and you
hate yourself. And so when you listen to the way
that you talk to yourself, do you ever think, man,
I would never say the words that I say about
(14:14):
myself to my best friend. I wouldn't even tell somebody
that I disliked the things that I say to myself.
I recognize this when I went to a all women's
event seven years ago, we had to speak out loud
the things that we say only to ourselves. And when
we did this, I'm not kidding you. The whole group
of women just started crying because I would never say
something so rude to my mom, or to my best friend,
(14:36):
or to my brother in the way that I was
saying this to myself. And when you really pay attention
to this, it can be shocking how mean we are
to ourselves. So I decided in that moment many years
ago that I was going to be my own best friend.
I was going to talk to myself in a way
that is supportive, not critical, not negative, in a way
(14:58):
where I'm motivating myself in a way where I'm really
taking responsibility for what my life looks like, and believing
that it's possible for me to have an entirely different
life in the future. The best friend that you can
have in the process of building a business is you. Now,
what does it take to like yourself? Well, you have
to hold yourself accountable and actually keep the promises that
(15:19):
you make to yourself. And most importantly, you have to
not lie to yourself when you lie to yourself and say, oh,
I didn't want that anyway. Oh, it doesn't really matter
if I show up early or stay late or work hard.
You start to not believe yourself and you start to
not like yourself. You can't do that if you're going
to be your own best friend, because you have to
be really honest with you about your limitations, what's holding
(15:40):
you back? But more importantly, what you really want. Your
self-trust creates confidence and satisfaction that no external relationship can
ever provide you. It will help you weather seasons of
isolation and moments of loneliness because all of a sudden
loneliness becomes optional when you realize that you're actually not
(16:04):
alone if you like yourself. Like, don't get me wrong,
and we can't tell my husband this. Hopefully this doesn't
get clipped for shorts on social media, but I love
hanging out with me and I have my favorite person
to hang out with. Give me a face mask, give
me a bubble bath. Let me work out by myself.
Listen to music by myself. I love hanging out with myself.
So focus on spending time with yourself and reflecting and
(16:25):
building towards your goals, because that is what makes you
a true friend to you. If you haven't already subscribed
to my newsletter, do it now. It is called business
and because, as you know, I am 90% business 10%
and I love fashion, wellness and stay up to date
on all of the things. So business and is my
(16:46):
place where I get to communicate directly with you about
what's top of mind for me right now, what I'm buying,
what I'm trying, what I'm focused on inside my business.
So go to the Natalie Dawson com forward slash or
hit the link in the description.
Welcome to business and the podcast for people making it
all happen. Running a successful business completely takes over your life,
but I'm a believer that there is still room for
some ands like health, wealth, beauty, and maybe even some fashion.
On this podcast, I'll share with you what's working for
scaling my nine figure business while keeping you up to
date on the latest trends, news and fun finds. This
(00:23):
is a place for business and let's dive in.
S2 (00:26):
Welcome back to business and let's talk about being lonely.
It's a weird thing to talk about being lonely because
I think from the outside I don't look like I
would be lonely. I have built this business alongside amazing
business partners. I've built this alongside my husband, and I
have two of my family members, both of my brother
(00:49):
and my brother in law. But that still doesn't mean
that I haven't been lonely at times, and that I
haven't had a lot of difficulty spending time by myself
figuring out how to be a friend to myself, figuring
out problems that only I can solve. And that really
has been my journey. I think that that's every business
owner's journey, and I don't think it's actually just related
(01:11):
to business owners. I think people in general feel lonely
and don't know how to get out of that loneliness
feeling and don't know how to get out of people
not supporting them and at some level, people not understanding them.
And so with this loneliness epidemic that has certainly impacted
the world, and Covid 19 only made it even worse
(01:32):
because of the isolation. Here are the ways and the
tools and the things that I do in order to
not feel lonely and to overcome this loneliness epidemic. I
hope you enjoy. First up is the hardest one. Loneliness
is the cost of growth. If you're outgrowing your friends,
you need to walk away. You see, 58% of adults
(01:54):
in the United States report feeling lonely every single week.
I remember being in my mid-twenties, which was not that
many years ago, and I would show up to dinner
or a hangout with my friends who had been there
for me, but all of a sudden the conversations weren't
the same because I had changed. I was excited about
(02:14):
the business I was starting. I was excited about these
new opportunities that I was desperately trying to create for myself.
And instead of being met with excitement, instead of being
met with support, there was judgment, there were critical comments.
And I actually had one of my friends in a
group setting laugh at me over coffee. And I remember
going home and being in tears. I was beside myself
(02:37):
because I didn't want to create what I was creating
by myself. I just assumed that the people around me
would be happy for me. And what I discovered later
is this concept of the pace gap. You see, the
pace gap means that you're outpacing people around you in
some area of your life. It could be physically, it
could be financially, it could be professionally. And this gap
(02:58):
in the pace in which I was going left me
feeling empty and isolated, like I was doing something wrong
and maybe even silly and definitely invalidated in my dreams
and my goals and ambitions for my life. And I
actually had to move on from some of these friendships
because they were so unsupportive during this time frame. Now, today,
(03:19):
I look at this and can take ownership for the
fact that I had changed. It wasn't their fault. They
wanted to be exactly where they were, and I was
asking them to be somebody that they weren't. So I
don't try to make them wrong, and I appreciate them
for the role that they've had in my life. But
it also doesn't mean that I have to continue to
spend my time around them. And as you start to
(03:41):
bump into this pace gap, that is the most uncomfortable part.
You feel like you're trying to hold on to this
thing that you might need to let go of for
a while in order to get to where you're going.
You can go back to these people if they really
are good friends. You can always spend time with people
in the future if they turn out to be good friends.
But as you start to bump up against this pace gap,
(04:04):
while you are building your dreams and creating the life
that you want, it's okay to let go for the moment.
And the isolation is always better than holding on to
something that actually keeps you stuck. Losing people on your
journey is a natural part of growth, so let go
of the guilt when your circles shift. Next is number two,
(04:25):
which is that you will carry all of the weights alone.
You signed up for this. You see, the University of
San Francisco recently did a study showing that startup founders
are twice as likely to suffer from depression because carrying
risk alone can change your emotional baseline. It is easy
to shift into a new situation, a new place, a
(04:48):
new opportunity, and feel like you are entirely alone because
you've just risen the stakes. So let's talk about this
concept of the stake gap. Now, this is not stake
as in red meat. This is literally the stakes, because
if you are a business owner, you have just raised
the stakes. You have more at risk and with more
at risk. That's more pressure, and people around you simply
(05:10):
will not understand. You'll go to hang out with your friends,
and you will have all of this weight that you're
carrying around, and they are wondering why you're so stressed out,
why you can't hang out as much anymore, why you're
not interested in the same things. It's because you actually
are playing a bigger game and the game is heavier,
it's more involved, it's more challenging, and the people in
your life likely don't want the risk that you've just
(05:32):
taken on, so they're never going to understand. And this
creates significant loneliness. This gap in at least identifying and
seeing the gap does release some of the resentment that
can very quickly build up, especially when you're newer to
the raising of these stakes. But the key to this
is actually building support systems with people who do have
(05:54):
in the game. What I tell myself in these moments
is I chose to raise these stakes because I wanted
to play a bigger game. I was no longer satisfied
with being somebody else's invite to the cool event, or
not being able to pay for something that I wanted
to contribute to. So because I had a lack of
something and a desire for something, I needed to do
(06:15):
something that was much more risky in order to get
me to where I wanted to go. I was the
one who chose that. I wanted to go there. Nobody
forced this decision on me. I made this decision. And
when you take full responsibility for your choices, instead of
falling into depression and falling into being a victim and
telling yourself how hard it is, you can feel a
little bit lighter about it because you chose this. Next
(06:37):
is number three, which is you can't vent at work.
Power can make you silent as soon as you get
in a position of power. Your ability to be completely
open and honest with people goes away. Now, this doesn't
mean that you're lying, but it would be irresponsible to
tell everybody every thought that you have. And if you
tend to be an oversharer before starting a business, you
(06:59):
have to figure out how to curb this desire, because
people don't need to know every thought. If you're worried,
if you're frustrated, if you're concerned, if there's a problem,
they should never see it. I tell myself often. Never
let them see you sweat. There's only a handful of
people that get to know when I'm frustrated, when I'm
stressed out, because it is entirely inappropriate to confide in
(07:20):
your team members. You might think that you should talk
to your family to vent, or maybe your friends, but
what I ask myself is why do they need to
know my problems? Why am I burdening somebody else with
my problems? So you can't talk to your team members
because you have a new problem. There is now a
power gap. You are more responsible and you have more authority,
which becomes isolating. You can't share everything that's going on
(07:44):
when a team member quits or you have to fire somebody.
You can't tell somebody why you're actually bound by state
laws to not share this information, even though you are
a human being. And sometimes people do crazy shit and
you just want to tell somebody, you can't. This idea
of venting has to be reorganized as you take on
greater responsibilities, because venting to the wrong person can compromise
(08:07):
your team's cohesion, and it can compromise your judgment, and
it can compromise your results. So if this power gap
exists with your team, you can choose to seek others,
either peers, coaches, or mentors who you can vent to.
But before you just go off finding people that you
can vent to, let me just ask you this question
why do you need to vent? Is there something that
(08:29):
somebody can help you with? Do you just want someone
to listen to you? Do you want them to understand you? Like,
what is the reason that you need to tell somebody
about your problems? Sometimes this is just so habitual. Think
that you need somebody to listen to you when it's
not actually helpful, because they then give all of their
limiting beliefs onto you. You're not really trying to get
(08:50):
a problem, you're just talking. Well, if you just need
to talk to somebody, talk to a wall, talk to yourself,
just talk in the car. It doesn't matter who you're
talking to. Just get it out? But you don't actually
have to dump this onto other people. They are not
served by your problems, and if they can't actually help
you solve your problems, you're actually doing you and them
(09:10):
a disservice by venting. I know this is not popular
because it's very easy to just say, oh, you should
vent your problems. You should have somebody to talk to,
and you need a therapist. I don't believe in any
of that. Because why do you need somebody to talk to?
If you have a problem, go to somebody who knows
how to help you solve that specific problem. But just
talking about all of your problems and all of your
challenges and what's happening in your life, no one cares.
(09:31):
They don't care if you're in a powerful position, and
they certainly don't care when you're not in a powerful position.
So just keep your business to yourself and solve your
own problems in a way that is congruent with the
life that you want to build. So this doesn't make
you lonely. Let's rebrand this. It makes you independent. This
brings me to my next point, which is that it
(09:51):
is certainly lonely at the top. Success and money doesn't
solve loneliness, but neither does being broke. So if we're
trying to solve the loneliness problem, we have to figure
out what are the roles of the people in our
lives and how do we create a support mechanism so
those people can actually serve us and we can help them.
So you have to ask yourself, what is the real
(10:12):
purpose of the people in your life? It might be
worthwhile for you to actually write this down. I did
this activity once, just a couple years ago, and it
changed everything for me because I was forcing everybody in
my life to fulfill a role that only one specific
group needed to help me with, which is the support
and the growth of the business. While my team members
should service in that role, they should help me and
(10:35):
be excited with me about what we're doing in our business.
But does my grandma need to be interested in my business?
Not necessarily. My grandma can be interested in giving me
comfort and support and love, and we can reminisce about
old times. That's the purpose and function of my grandma
in my life. It's not to keep me accountable and
keep me going and inspire me to drive my business forward.
(10:57):
Similarly with my friends, my friends are there for me
to have a good time and to be safe with
and to have trust with and enjoy moments where I'm
not at work. Well, I don't need them to give
me advice about work, which means that I don't bring
them my work problems. So when you start to reorganize
the function of the people in your life, you reduce
your expectations that might be holding you captive from expecting
(11:20):
your family and your friends to support you at work.
If you didn't have that expectation, you might be a
lot happier hanging out with your family and friends, because
that's actually not who you need that support from. Similarly,
I don't need the people I work with to make
me feel comfortable. That's not their job. My mom will
help me feel comfortable. My dad will make me feel comfortable.
My brother, my husband. Those are the people that I
(11:41):
want comfort from. But my people at work, I want
them holding me accountable. I want them pushing me. I
want us talking about targets and collectively helping each other
achieve goals. Number five would you rather be lonely and
successful or lonely and unsuccessful? You see, I've asked myself
this question in multiple phases of my career where I
had to go all in on a specific target and
(12:04):
I didn't have time to be with other people. There
was not time with friends. There was not time with family.
There was only time to create something that I was
so passionate about. But in many of those moments, I
felt entirely alone, and I wondered if it was ever
going to be worthwhile enough to bring people into my
life that would really appreciate, and maybe even be able
(12:25):
to add to this life that I wanted to build.
There was a specific moment six years ago where I
was working around the clock for months in order to
get this project off the ground, and even though I
work with my husband, he didn't understand the pressure I
was under, and he couldn't help me with any of
the problems that I was solving. So it was me, myself,
(12:47):
and I working through these problems because it mattered. It
mattered to me. It mattered to our clients, and it
mattered to our team. And the only reason today that
I get calls from people that I used to look
up to, that I used to study, and they're now
interested in messaging me. They're interested in hanging out with me.
They're interested in doing a collaboration is because I went
through these moments of loneliness to create something that I'm
(13:09):
proud of. I now have a result because those people
came into my life, not because I wanted to do
those things. No, because I actually made sacrifices and was
willing to go through a phase of loneliness to bring
in something that I didn't have at that time. Choosing
loneliness with purpose is far more powerful than tolerating loneliness
(13:30):
with regret. So focus on building you and your business,
and naturally, the right people will come into your life.
This final point is going to sound so cheesy, but
I mean this with every fiber of my being. You
have to be your own best friend. The most powerful
relationship that you can ever build is the relationship that
(13:53):
you have with yourself. If you do not like yourself,
if you talk poorly to yourself, if you don't believe
in yourself. Of course, you're going to feel lonely because
you're building something and other people don't understand, and you
hate yourself. And so when you listen to the way
that you talk to yourself, do you ever think, man,
I would never say the words that I say about
(14:14):
myself to my best friend. I wouldn't even tell somebody
that I disliked the things that I say to myself.
I recognize this when I went to a all women's
event seven years ago, we had to speak out loud
the things that we say only to ourselves. And when
we did this, I'm not kidding you. The whole group
of women just started crying because I would never say
something so rude to my mom, or to my best friend,
(14:36):
or to my brother in the way that I was
saying this to myself. And when you really pay attention
to this, it can be shocking how mean we are
to ourselves. So I decided in that moment many years
ago that I was going to be my own best friend.
I was going to talk to myself in a way
that is supportive, not critical, not negative, in a way
(14:58):
where I'm motivating myself in a way where I'm really
taking responsibility for what my life looks like, and believing
that it's possible for me to have an entirely different
life in the future. The best friend that you can
have in the process of building a business is you. Now,
what does it take to like yourself? Well, you have
to hold yourself accountable and actually keep the promises that
(15:19):
you make to yourself. And most importantly, you have to
not lie to yourself when you lie to yourself and say, oh,
I didn't want that anyway. Oh, it doesn't really matter
if I show up early or stay late or work hard.
You start to not believe yourself and you start to
not like yourself. You can't do that if you're going
to be your own best friend, because you have to
be really honest with you about your limitations, what's holding
(15:40):
you back? But more importantly, what you really want. Your
self-trust creates confidence and satisfaction that no external relationship can
ever provide you. It will help you weather seasons of
isolation and moments of loneliness because all of a sudden
loneliness becomes optional when you realize that you're actually not
(16:04):
alone if you like yourself. Like, don't get me wrong,
and we can't tell my husband this. Hopefully this doesn't
get clipped for shorts on social media, but I love
hanging out with me and I have my favorite person
to hang out with. Give me a face mask, give
me a bubble bath. Let me work out by myself.
Listen to music by myself. I love hanging out with myself.
So focus on spending time with yourself and reflecting and
(16:25):
building towards your goals, because that is what makes you
a true friend to you. If you haven't already subscribed
to my newsletter, do it now. It is called business
and because, as you know, I am 90% business 10%
and I love fashion, wellness and stay up to date
on all of the things. So business and is my
(16:46):
place where I get to communicate directly with you about
what's top of mind for me right now, what I'm buying,
what I'm trying, what I'm focused on inside my business.
So go to the Natalie Dawson com forward slash or
hit the link in the description.
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