February 3, 2025 • 39 mins
The courtroom doors are closing one final time, but not before some serious drama unfolds in this explosive last episode of Cancelled.
Sometimes the most dramatic cancellations happen behind the mic. Is there a feud? (Hint: yes). Are there accusations of laziness? (Obviously).
Between reminiscing about Demi Lovato's ghost-serenading era and that time Michael Clarke took his shirt off in Noosa, we're unpacking what really goes down when a podcast ends and it's giving "Don't Worry Darling" press tour energy.
To our beloved Lazy Gewls - you're about to find out why choosing sides is harder than deciding whether Jada Pinkett Smith revealed too much.
Follow us on Instagram @thetwins_thoughts
Follow us on Tik Tok @cancelledthepodcast
A LIST OF EVERYONE WE'VE CANCELLED ALONG THE WAY:
Ariana "Stormed Out Of An Aussie Photoshoot" Grande
It Ends With Us Drama
The O.C: Seth's Behind The Scenes Antics & The Issue With Marissa
Bennifer
Lady Gaga
Billie Eilish: The Most Bizarre Interview Of All Time
Katy "Feud With Taylor Swift" Perry
Kim ‘Throw Sh*t At A Wall & See What Sticks’ Kardashian
JoJo "Get Your Ex On Your Podcast" Siwa
SEND US YOUR LAZY GEWL STORIES:
podcast@mamamia.com.au
END BITS:
If you’re looking for something else to listen to why not check out our hilarious and seriously unhelpful podcast The Baby Bubble hosted by Clare and Jessie Stephens.
Or click here to listen to But Are You Happy, hosted by Clare Stephens.
Or click here to listen to the hosts of Mamamia Out Loud open up about creativity and how they stay inspired.
CREDITS:
Hosts: Clare and Jessie Stephens
Executive Producer: Kimberley Braddish
Audio Producer: Scott Stonach
Mamamia acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land we have recorded this podcast on, the Gadigal people of the Eora Nation. We pay our respects to their Elders past and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures.
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
So much. You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast. Mom
and Maya acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters
that this podcast is recorded on Hello and welcome to Cancel,
(00:31):
The Lazy Girl's Guide to Bizarre celebrity cancelations. I'm Jesse
Stevens and I am joined by Claire Stephens and it's
twenty twenty five. Yeah, and I have been dreading today.
I've been dreading it. Canceled four years been my favorite
day of the way. It's not anymore. Okay, Claire, what
are we canceling today? We are canceling Canceled. That is
(00:53):
both a summary of today's episode and on the next
istential level, it is an announcement. This is our last
ever episode of Canceled. We're going to get to why, because,
as is the case when any podcast ends, he's drama.
There are people throwing things, there's gossip, there are agreements broken.
(01:15):
I have a list of enemies. Oh my gosh, there's
only two, but it's Liz Okay, friendships down the toilet.
Family is destroyed. Yeah, that's what happens when a podcast ends.
There's no other way about it. There is always a
few there's an official statement. There's also an unpacking of
that official stag. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, but
all that will be revealed. Our structure for today is
(01:37):
as follows, the origin story when things got weird. Is
there a feud, yes or no? Hint yes, yes, accusations
of laziness Jesse the origin story. According to my research,
we started this podcast in August one. That is such
a long time ago. It is, and I actually confirmed
because we've said this generally for a while. You know,
(01:59):
the other canceled, the American podcast called Cancel Yes, that
started on July twenty sixth, literally two weeks before our
canceled style. So we did copy here, Well, we didn't know.
And everyone says that the thing with copyright and trademark
is if you didn't know, then it doesn't shrug elogi.
I don't know if that's what people say, because I
think they can accuse you of knowing. Yeah, because how
(02:21):
can you prove we didn't. TikTok kept getting mad and
saying we copied, and it's like we didn't because we
didn't check. Will do you know if you knew how
lazy we are? We were just two girls with a
dream and a perspective. We felt that the internet was very,
very earnest about their celebrities. This tweet was discriminatory, this
(02:42):
thought was coded, and we were lumping a dude who
bumbled his words in an interview with a literal criminal.
And that felt weird us. So we thought, we'll make
a little comedy podcast where we take the piss out
of some of these ridiculous celebrity cancelations. Because celebrities are
not serious. This is all a bit of silliness. It's
a bit of fun. And we did quite early on
(03:05):
decide that the scope of our show was we'd stop
at the legal line. Sometimes we went and did a
little bit tech dance tap dance over that line. We went,
you know what, So there the courts have dealt with Harvey. Yeah,
Harvey Weinstein for the court, the actual court, whereas Will
Smith slapping somebody at the Academy Awards, that's for our court.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
It is Oh wow, wow, Will Smith just smacked the
shit out of it.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Remember Jada, Oh how is Jada? She stopped revealing. Where's
red table talk? She revealed too hard? Oh my gosh,
why are we doing this? We should be on Red
Table Talk? Oh my gosh me you and Jada sorting
it out. Yeah yeah, yeah, no that's not that's for later.
But then in twenty twenty two, so we've started the
podcast going swimmingly. In August, the celebrities started doing genuinely
(03:59):
batshit things. I thought the celebrities were doing the bat
ship things and that's why we started the pod. They were,
but they went to the next level early twenty twenty, Okay,
I cried a few things happened. Ilaria Baldwinitozra revealed to
not beat Spaniel, remember that she cucumber correct. Then Armie
Hammer started low key eating people. He's still there's a
(04:23):
lot of shame. There's a lot when you see Army Tamma,
you go, honey, you're just not going to claw back
from that, babe, because it's the image of you eating people.
And it was very like he was very like, we
can't do anything anymore. Yeah, And you can't even eat
a rib. You can't. You can't send a message to
someone saying you want to eat them. How the world's
(04:43):
gone mad? Exactly? Political correctness too far. Remember, the Internet
relentlessly went after James Corden for six months because maybe
he was rude to some white stuff. Well, we say,
maybe he confess. He confessed, and then there was a
hare and then I think there was too much egg
and his egg on like the wrong type of egg,
his egg white. And then there was that amazing story
on Reddit that was definitely a lie about this woman
(05:06):
who was really struggling on a plane and someone watched
her like put the luggage up, and she's managing a baby,
and then she snapped at the person next to her
who wasn't helping her, and it was James Corden and
it was her husband Da And then we told that podcast.
We told that story of the podcast, and then James
Cordon's publicist emailed us and said, can you take it down?
He was quite polite, he was a threat. Yeah, And
(05:27):
we're like, is it We always assument it's not the
real publicist, it's just someone who feels passionately about James Cordon.
And we were like, good on you, you sent an email,
will take it down. We didn't. We took the TikTok down.
Oh yeah, we felt not the yeah, yeah, yeah, Look,
And what was funny about James Corden is it It
wasn't about the restaurant. It wasn't about the plane, It's
about cats, which had happened about twenty nineteen, and people
(05:51):
were still mad about that, was still mad about cats.
We mentioned a few weeks ago that Wicked was put
on the back burner because they've cats, and that is
just the definition of yeah, sometimes you make the wrong
call creatively. Do you think this podcast has been our
cats and then on the back burner has been have
been a Wicked? Yeah? Yeah, great analogy. Actually yeah, people
(06:14):
will be like, oh, that was cats in hindsight. So
this show then started to write itself. Claire, when did
things get weird? Okay? I believe there has been a
symbiotic relationship between canceled the podcast and Hollywood where we
started this podcast and they started getting weirder. You say Hollywood,
but three words Carlos, Michael klark' that's one word and
(06:41):
Nissa and a fist fight and Anthony belly Bell. Yeah.
Remember that episode that we did. Was it on Michael
Klark or was it on Carlos? Yeah? I don't know
if it was on Karl Stefanovic. I think maybe it
was on Karl Stefanovic because was it also about how
he bitched in the back of the uber with his brother. Yeah. Fuck,
done that a lot of times. And I thought, by
(07:02):
the grace of God, go I stones glasshouses. I say
that every time I bitch in ANBA, I think of Carlos. No,
but remember NUSA. Yeah, and they ripped their shirts off
and they started fighting. Yeah, and I was like, a
story has never been written so much just for canceled. Yes,
it should be a theater production because it was so
(07:25):
quinnessentially Australian. Yeah, it's on the streets of neustrom People
had to shield their children. They were like, he used
to be the Captain of Australia. Yeah. There was cheating accusations.
There were just so absolutely valid. There was yelling. Yeah,
Carlos was trying to say keep it down. And Anthony
belly Bell, who was a staple of the day in
mayal May, I say, he pops up a lot. Is
(07:47):
he an accountant? Yeah he is? Yeah, yeah, And I
just die off in wonder. How are things in the
group chat? Yeah with Clarkey and Carlos. Yeah. No, so
that happened and we're like, okay, this is writing itself.
We wouldn't call that Hollywood though, would we no better
than But before this podcast, I was thinking, I'm like,
(08:07):
before this podcast started, were there even cursed press tours?
I feel like the cursed press tours have only started
so we could prosecute them in the cancel court room.
But then I was like, wrong because a simple favor
press tour with Blake Lively and Anna Kendrick, who seemed
to have tension that actually predated the cancel court Yeah,
but Madam Webb, Yeah, don't worry, Darling, it ends with
(08:32):
us that wicked Yeah. Yeah, I will go to my
grave believing that Chris pines bad on our style. I
believe that I don't care what anyone says. No, it's
my favorite drama. Weird moments that we uncovered Demi Levado
(08:58):
in the docu series Unidentified with Demi Lovado, which I've
not seen and refused to ever see. It's moments like this.
I think this podcast is our cats, Like, I'm not
sure that spending this amount of time doing what we've
done was good for human No, no, no, for us. No.
But there is a scene where Demi serenades a ghost.
They're in an abandoned brothel. Do I remember what song
(09:21):
it is? I do. It's in my head, but I
can't sing it. Yeah. Yeah, Well, so all the detectives
are like beat beat, beat, beat bait, and then they
ask questions. They're like, did you suffer trauma? And it's
like beat beet beep, and it's like, no, we haven't
established the code for the beeping anyway. Demi decides the
ghost name is Carmen. The ghost has been through trauma
and the ghost would like her to sing. So what
(09:43):
song does she sing in this documentary to a ghost?
Sky scraper? Yeah, scraper and it's beautiful and we think again,
I will go to my grave. The ghost liked it.
The ghost did like it. My apprehension came from the
claim no issue with there being a ghost, no issue
(10:05):
with the technology to identify the ghost. My issue was
with the claim that the most name was coming because
I've never met Yeah, they're all named like Mary or Susan. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Carmen was just a very arbitrary. Yes. Things also got
weird that she knows controversy. I cried she knows. So
just a little bit of context on that. The Beyonce
(10:26):
conspiracy theory about how she knows the song is actually
about Sean Knowles. More you sing at the less, you
might say, who's Sean Noles? And that's the question flash
issue like I can't go back? Okay, kind of did
make us crack. Will Smith slapped someone on live television
(10:49):
and the Academy Awards to defend the honor of his wife.
But then the family couldn't stop with the revelations until
Jada Pinkett Smith's revelation too close to the sun and
actually shed They weren't even married anymore, so it was
clear unclear, and then she did stop. I think she
listened to that episode I have I've overdone it the
memes that like Jada vi it Smith reveals that she
(11:11):
is too back. That was where we got culturally. Then
the royals megan announcing a lot of stuff and not
launching it. That was our prime kind of issue. We
came back and we actually gave her a pat on
the back when she did launch a few things. But now, honey,
we're back with our fatal floor with American Orchid Riviera,
(11:33):
Orchid Orchid Riviera. When on Tocito, where we'll ask again
and again, where's the jam, where is the gem? Where? Yes, yes, well,
we can't talk she no, well, at least we make
this show. We made a lot of promises. Yeah, sure, God,
(11:55):
we to do a whole episode on cats. We never
every week we're like, we'll put the receipts on Instagram.
And then it became part of our brands that we
didn't that we didn't know. We let people down routinely,
and we're even quite recently. A listener from Texas sent
us a life size guard out of him and I
(12:16):
opened it. I had a good chuckle. Yeah, I haven't
told you this. The office manager here is like, hi, Jesse,
just wondering. Still the life size guard out of the text,
and I can't part with him. Every time I see it,
I feel to leave it. No, I'll need that. Yeah,
I'll need that. That's part of my workplace possessions. It's
(12:36):
very Megan Michael, because I have no plan I want
to do no Also with the Royals, Harry sharing family
secrets about Willie that was made for this podcast, Charles
being an artist and also wanting to be Camilla's tampon. Yep,
that was lovely and he got very bloody thing, angry
bloody thing and his fingers were all swollen. Great timing.
(12:56):
With Trump in the We've got a second term. Yeah,
and we got to explore the real issues, such as
he drinks too many diet cokes a day and he
believes that exercise isn't good for you because it will
exhaust you and you've got a finite amount of energy.
It's like a battery. Yeah. And the diet coke thing,
I mean, we've seen a resurgence in have you seen
(13:17):
this apparently soft drinks back in there's a whole article
in the cut about it, like diet co Wait did
they ever go out? Yeah? Oh wow? But now because
Trump has his diet coke button, apparently Elon Musk loves
a chilled Oh wow, you and me both, Alon. Yeah,
but we know that twelve isn't good on the Stummach fining.
I can't be, it can't be you know what's in it,
(13:41):
which we can say now that we don't need any
sponsorship from a soft drink brand you don't know what's
in it. That was actually one of my feuds in
my list of two. The first one was Pepsi Max,
diet coke and Coke Era. I'm burned it to the
ground because I'm going we asked you to sponsor us. Yeah,
we had you front and center videos to the absolute
(14:05):
fury of the podcast team. That's a drink in the studio,
especially not sticky ones. When I was pregnant, I ate
during records, Yeah, because they're like, you're gonna spill your
sticky drink on the mic, and the second you say no,
I won't, Well that's what you do. Yeah. Yeah, are
the weird times that things got weird. David Beckham propaganda
documentary I Have, which revealed crimes such as moving countries
(14:29):
too often and sometimes not trying even when people were
paying him lots of money on the condition that he
promised to trot.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Yeah, that's what a contract says.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
I don't have funds to go to the work to play.
Speaking of Victoria Beckham, Nicola Pelts Beckham, Brookie and photo
album and trying to be a chef Brooklyn Beckham, No,
I actually like I have a really soft spot in
my soul for Brooklyn because you know what he's trying.
I feel as though Brooklyn Beckham is the soul of Camp. Yes,
(15:11):
if we had a mascot, it'd be Brookie and Mariah
Carey on that stage on New Year's e yeah, saying
you guys get to be on holidays, why don't I
can be on holidays because you're being paid a lot
of money, Babe to perform. But then sometimes the news
cycle was too much and we were like, ugh remember
seventh Then yeah, when Matt and Mary practiced kissing on
(15:34):
each other and later Matt took a slight to prompt
was controversial also because yeah, we realized that it was
just the Bible reimagined. Yeah. Also Titanic, which we essentially
said was just a master no notes, and it's like
that doesn't fit in the scope of canceled. But that
was definitely a low week. Yeah. Yeah, Yeah. It's like
(15:54):
when you have a puzzle and like there's one piece layer,
loss of piece, so you just go and like fit
the coffee table into your puzzle. It doesn't doesn't wear, yeah,
but you want to finish it. Yea. So Birth that
was one thing that didn't again, didn't fit the scope,
but we thought, hey, this is where we're at, and
that was probably a line that I did cross when
(16:16):
I recorded you cheering Charlie birth. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
We actually had a lot of reviews saying this is
cruel yeah, And it's like, is it cruel if I
don't find it cruel? And you might say, was I
in the headspace? No, if I found it cruel. And
the thing about that is I'm detached from my emotions,
so it's absolutely fine. I also have as a note,
(16:37):
remember when Joe Jonas said hi to my elderly dog. Yeah,
and then over the summer, yeah, Hugh Jackman said, how
lady baby? Yeah? Yeah, So we did a canceled episode
on Joe Jonas, and honestly, a big redeeming factor was
that I had been walking my No, I was not,
my partner was walking our dog, who's not a handsome
(16:57):
man anymore. No, he has visible tumors. Yeah, yeah, but
he's living his best life. And Joe Jonas did stop
and say hi, and that was a really lovely moment.
Look there all the moments things got weird, But things
have gotten really weird now because is there a feud?
Is there a few? Look? This show is what industry
insiders call a behemoth. No one, not once has referred
(17:21):
to it as that until me right now, nearly nine
million downloads, that's true. I looked it up. Two hundred episodes.
Do we do any of the logistics. No, no, no,
I just turn up to the studio. I don't think
it's any of those things because we never got around
to merch we never got around to trademarking anything anything
like that. No. Look, this is a pressure cooker. Yes,
(17:41):
like it ends with us am I justin Baldoni. I
you Blake Lively is their beef, Claire. I thought that
what I'd like you to do is read out your
official Instagram statement about why you're leaving. There's a hint.
There's a hint. So what would you say to your
(18:01):
what thirty k followers? Okay, thirty k is mean how
many forty six? You knew? So rude? Okay. I will
just say that I was going to read this statement
in the section of this show called accusations of Laziness,
and now we're doubling up. Yeah, the accusations of laziness
(18:21):
gonna be slightly shorter. Okay, okay. So the thing about
my statement, yeah, did you get a writer or did
you write it? Is that I got a I write
it because I didn't want to write. All right, cool,
So I'm leaving my Maya and by extension, the podcast
that I do at mum Maya. And if I were
the type of person to do such a thing, I
(18:42):
would post a notes app announcement of why I'm leaving, Yeah,
and it would be sufficiently vague. Yeah, and it would
be like, I can't tell you what's coming next, but
stay tuned. But I'm too lazy, Okay, So I got
Ai to do it for me. All right, Right, she's
a lazy girl, So you need to know the prompt
I said, write an announcement that I'm leaving a very successful,
(19:04):
popular podcast after four years. I rounded it up. Okay, Hey,
everyone to four incredible years. It's time for me to
share that I'll be stepping away from podcast Name. Okay.
This has been one of the most rewarding and fulfilling
experiences of my life, and I'll forever be grateful for
all the laughs, insights, and connections that have come from
being a part of this amazing community. I think that
(19:27):
if I was Ai, Yeah, I'd throw in it. It's
time for me to hang up my insert my headphones. Yeah.
When I first joined podcast Name, I could never have
imagined the impact to it. We've created something truly special
together and I'm so proud of everything we've accomplished as
a team. But sometimes a team growth means I don't know,
(19:50):
it doesn't understand where podcast is, but sometimes growth means
embracing new challenges and opportunities. That's what I'm doing now.
I want to thank co hosts for being by my side,
every sech our, incredible listeners for their unwavering support, and
everyone behind the scenes who made this journey possible. The
call producers, I have some respect. Well, this is goodbye
(20:12):
in terms of the podcast. It's not goodbye for good.
I'll still be around and I look forward to whatever's next.
Both for me to say, I just say, you're not dead.
Ad for podcast name. I'm excited to see where this
Joenny takes us all. Thank you again for everything. This
isn't the end, It's just the beginning of a new
chapter up. But I was like insuffusion, so I said,
(20:32):
add more drama and intrigue. It's spout out just some
here are some additional things. And this is also my statement.
All right, sometimes life throws you a curveball, and you
have to trust your gut when it tells you it's
time to move in a new direction. What's the curveball?
What's a curveball. I'm just saying there's a curve. So
(20:54):
what's next for me? Well, I can't tell you everything
just yet. Let's just say the future is looking pretty exciting.
What a whanger? Okay, wait, wait wait wait, I have
a weird competitiveness, and in fact my feud is with Ai.
Mm hmm, so I wrote my own Oh wait, can
I just say I did think that there was something missing? Okay,
(21:17):
so I said, adds alling snarky about Jesse, and then
it was two lights, so I said, more snark about Jesse.
Make it seem like out Okay. As for Jesse dot
dot dot Oh, Jesse, it's interesting it knew you were
my co host, the one co host who somehow managed
to survive this long without getting fired or replaced. We've
(21:39):
had our moments, haven't we. From passive aggressive banter to
straight up feuds. It's been a ride. I mean sure,
we had our differences, like when you somehow think you
can take over the show just because you're louder than me,
But hey, credit, where credits do you? You're still standing
and I guess I should be thankful for that. In
(22:00):
all seriousness, Jesse, you know I'll miss you. We've clashed,
we've laughed, we've survived each other's questionable decisions on air,
but hey, at least you've still got them right. Question?
Am I doing? Canceled on my own? Now? I just
remember the day you finally decide to fire me. I'll
be out there living my best life, leaving you with
the mess. Like I don't get it? Am I? How
(22:22):
can I if I'm not here anyone? This is in
the end when you were quitting. I'll be back, bigger, better,
and Jesse, this is Jesse. Good luck without me. You're
gonna eat it with love and a whole lot of SaaS. Okay,
(22:44):
is modifying so embarrassing? Okay, I wrote a statement to
put on Instagram, but me to put on for me.
You okay, you do yours, and then I'll like, actually
get because it's going to be on a black tile
with white text. No, it's that feels more ominous. What
I co partners co hosts co eggs? Did you totally right? Wow?
(23:12):
I first met Claire in Dad's test and from there
I knew one day we'd make a podcast and see,
it's got typos because I wrote it interesting, it's missing
and connecting. Yet we'd make a podcast about interesting yet
(23:33):
ultimately and consequential celebrity misdemeanors. I have no regrets about
our time together, where we built a family, a community
to our lazy girls, because that's what you've got to do. Yeah,
you are still our number one priority. Yes, even though
our paths might be diverging, it is still a road
that is parallel and joined by a sleep road with
(23:55):
no stop signs or traffic lights. Like a river, we
flow in the same direction. But now our commentary on
Selena Gomez will be the stuff of private messages rather
than a public podcast, which perhaps should have always been
the case. We are moving forward with love, kindness and
guess laziness prospect. Oh that was taken directly from Jessica
(24:17):
Alber's divorcement, and we are embarking on a new chapter
apart but also together. We don't request privacy. This is
important because growing our platforms is important to us. Follow
us at the Twins, underscore thoughts on me personally at
Jesse Stevens ninety, where I will provide more gossip if
and when it comes to me. My statement Okay, follow
(24:39):
me because again, not requesting privacy. Are you're going to
comment on my statement on Instagram? Yeah? Okay, So the
thing is like I do a joke AI statement and
then you do an actual statement, which means that I
have to respond. Yeah, and to that I say no.
But seriously, I have ideas for larger scale projects and
(24:59):
I want to do them on my own. Okay. I
have this weird, illogical and frankly risky instinct, given my
laziness to build something for myself and work out who
I am side of being okay, feels feels pointed. It's
very sad testicle anymore. It's very sad. And to clarify,
(25:21):
like the thing about us, so we're always going to
be twins. Shit, we are gonna do schoft together next
week like what probably didn't week after? Well, like our
girls are having swimming lessons, but it's not quite the same. Yeah,
well we could well look commentate you lessons set. You
(25:44):
have your projects that you want to do. Yeah, independently.
I got dumped. Yeah, I got dumped. Yeah because I
want to keep it, which is interesting because okay, just
some inside of goss, Like, let's get into the feud.
You have been very much like I'm not used to
you calling the shots. I make the decisions for this duo,
(26:06):
and I'm like, no, I think my instincts are telling
me this is what I want to do career wise.
I want to do something on my own. I want
to build something of my own. And You're like, but hmm,
but the lazy girls, believe me, the lazy girls of
the hardest thing. You are fucking with the lazy girls. No,
you've pissed them off. I just want them to know
who the enemy is, Okay, I had no Yeah, yeah,
(26:26):
I told Luca my husband. I said, I've been dumped.
I've lost my child. Claire has quish in an absolute
tea absolutely several months long. Very she has thrown the mic,
she has stumped on the headphones. And he said to me, yeah,
I could go host. Oh wow. And I said, you're
(26:49):
not lazy. You're not a girl. Yeah. No, No, you're
not a lazy girl. You don't know anything about Selena
Goer and her kidney. You don't know anything. You don't
know that she wasn't, in our opinion, thankful enough about
the kidney, and we have anxiety about that relationship. You
don't know the James cordon as a cat gave people
(27:13):
panic attacks okay because they ran out of CGI budget. Yeah,
hands and glitch clitch. The won't know that were human hands.
You don't know with cat faces. Do you know what
that does to a person? No? I didn't think so.
And it was very When we were being bullied in
high school and dad said I'll be your friend, it
(27:34):
was very bad. Like this has become souder. Yeah, yeah, okay,
So I will say to clarify when people are like,
stay tuned, can't tell you what's it sounds a bit
like that. Well for clarity, very very open. Are you
trying to get a job right now? I changed my
(27:55):
LinkedIn setting to open. No. I have ideas, okay, but
but you're not technically according to the government. When I
leave this record, I am, for all intents and purposes,
legally unemployed. Okay. I have one more fear. I don't
(28:18):
want to just raise and put on the table here
three words Australian Podcast Awards. Would you be quitting if
we'd finally won an award? Probably? But would we have
a trophy? Have things would be different? Yeah? So I'll say,
actually we were nominator, we never won and so look,
(28:39):
let's hope manifesting is really important. Here's my dream. Years
from now, Australian Podcast Awards goes bankrupt. No, no, Australian
Podcast Awards becomes Australia's Night of Nights. It already it's
Australia's Night of Night. You're there, yeah, and I'm there.
(29:00):
Yeah for different shows. Oh I don't like that, and
or the same show. We might be on the same
show anyway. All I hope is that there is drama
behind the scenes. And yeah, no, it's going to be
like justin about only I'm gonna send you to the
basement basement yep, yet, and I'm gonna be upstairs. We're
gonna throw drinks yep. We're gonna like give speeches that
(29:22):
like snark on each other. Like that is where this
needs to get to. Yeah, okay, I think it's got
to get to a half a billion dollar lawsuit. We
should fully we should say yeah, Claire, no, no, no,
but we should fully start like an online feud. I
mean no, I think it would actually be really good
for profile. Our profiles profiles have stagnated, But we should
(29:45):
we need to maybe okay, maybe we like really snark
on each other and like really try to galvanize, like
I can try to galvanize people against you. Yeah, if
you want, Yeah, that's fine, that's fine. Okay. Finally, accusations
of laziness. We have been accused by the haters of
(30:05):
being lazy. That is a lie. We self identify as lazy,
and it would appear we were correct all long, because
there is nothing lazier than quitting Jesse. I did the
maths and each episode genuinely takes us like three to
four hours to prep. Like that's including like taking regular
press of say, going to the shop to get our
dream yes, and then we listen back and we do socials.
(30:27):
It takes like an hour record. So I'm going to
say each episode is five hours of work. Are you
just telling your boss that's like you're not any more? Yeah? Yeah,
that means two hundred times five is one thousand hours
of work on camp. Don't may say it takes one
thousand hours to master or something. No, see, that's what
I thought ten thousand. So that explains. That explains this
(30:49):
because I was like, I think it takes a thousand
hours to be an expert something, but it's ten thousand, Okay,
so where one tenth of an expert in whatever the
this is. Yeah, yeah, imagine what we could have done.
This is what Mum would say, Yeah, imagine what let's
when we played the simms for too long? Imagine what
you could do with that. Well, it's forty one days
straight of our lives that we will never get back.
(31:09):
And I guess the question is what did you do
with that time? What do you mean? I made cancel
and this is okay. This has been the highlight of
my week. I really like it. Now I just feel
like you're just laying shit. No, it has been the
highlight in my week two. As Ai would say, it
(31:30):
has been the greatest privilege and joy of my life.
For the last three and a half years. My favorite
thing about this show has been the lazy girls. I
go outside occasionally and from other work I've done, it
is lazy girls that are most likely to come over
to me and say, I'm a lazy girl. Let me
(31:52):
tell you this story. I might just send it to you.
I forgot, yeah, and they'll tell me something. And they
are they are our people. They are good fun. In fact,
I thought we would end on a few lazy girl stories. Yes,
because we got some. We got some over the break,
and they were they were really good stunners. One is
from Catherine, and Catherine says that you know, kids named
(32:14):
gotta come up with with names. Yeah. I recently read
that Matilda is just one of the most popular, and
I was like, oh, this is the thing about being lazy.
You think you're being original, but you're actually just the
same as everyone. Well, Catherine got one of those books.
I got one of those books, look through it and
was like, all right, I'm having a boy. I'm gonna
go through get a sense of what I should call him.
(32:36):
So if you've got one of those books where you start, hey,
get start with. My oldest is named for Andrew. I
didn't get past the a's. I was too lazy and
couldn't be bothered. I also couldn't be bothered with middle names.
Put his dad. I couldn't be bothered with a middle name.
Didn't get my baby one. Mine is my mum's. Yeah, okay,
then just pregnant girl this time. Oh she gets sad.
(32:59):
Oh no, Abigail. If there'd be anything before Abigail first page,
that's absolutely fine, absolutely fine. I considered Abigail or Abby.
I love it. Also, I've got two a named kids.
It wasn't on purpose, pure laziness. Lay, She's a lazy girl.
Love it, love it. This is my other one. Okay,
(33:21):
this is a Liza. During the winter in high school,
we would sit in the classroom for recess. Yeah, yeap,
he was on yep. We sat on one side and
the bin was on the other, approximately a five meter walk.
I hated having to get up and walk to the
bin when I was all comfy and having a laugh
spelled la with my friend Enter solution had an apple
(33:45):
every day recess, so I decided to start eating the
entire core so there would be no rubbish that required
immediate disposal. In case you're wondering, the core was quote foul,
but I remained comfortable and saved myself twenty steps. Lazy.
She's a lazy girl. She's sustainable, sustainable girl. Sorry, lazy
girls don't litter. No lazy girls put rappers receipts in
(34:09):
their pocket. Yeah for ever, it doesn't end up in landfill,
or on the street or in the water. Think about
any applecle I think there's something about it's got a
chemical in it. She's a livestele actually great point. But
that's a really good lazy girl hack. Just like you've
had a music by You've got the Rapper eat the Wrapper. Yeah,
just yeah, yeah. Do you have a favorite laser girl
(34:32):
from all these years on the show, A favorite lazy
girl story? Yeah, the one I think about all the
time is a ghost called Merle. This was on our
Ben Affleck episode, and the story is that this lazy
girl said her bedroom was at the top of the
first floor, and Merle was a lot. She used to
walk up and down the stairs, literally knock on her wall,
and sometimes sit on her bed, which she is distracting
(34:56):
and I imagine at times interfered with sleep. So the
listener's parents asked if she wanted to move to a
bedroom upstairs. Didn't go so much, but it meant being better.
Everyone knows it. Ghosts only stay in the one room,
but it meant further from the kitchen and the bathroom
and stuff. She just continued being haunted by Merl. That's
(35:16):
the thing. Like we've said this before, but it's like
every time I watch a horror movie, I'm like, fuck,
that's really good. But my biggest nightmare you moved to
a new place. Yeah, just moved in our furnitures in yep, yep.
Oh my gosh, I'm never moving again. It's haunted. You
look in the mirror, boom, dead person behind you, damn it.
(35:38):
And You're like, I'm not gonna do anything. I'm not
booking a prieze. I'm not moving now. I just have
to live alongside this ghost which scares me. It does.
I'm being haunted and it's like on the list of
reasons to move, being haunted isn't no, exactly right. It
is a thank you so much for joining us for
all of these years. We have a few people that
(35:59):
we'd like to thank. We never got to do it
the Gustralian podcast Towards We want to thank the producers
we've had Kimberly bradish To, Elysaberzas Rose ker, Leah Porges
and Tom Lyon. The leaders who allowed us to do
this show, Eliza Ratliffe, Holly Wayne Wright, Sarah Curtis, Nat Harvey,
Mia Friedman, Maya Friedman. She said we were about we
were allowed she did, she gave it the green light.
(36:21):
We were allowed to do this. Yeah. Yeah, And I
also want to say, if you want to hear more
from me, I'm not fully quitting my job. I'm like you.
I'm on Mummy Are out Loud five times a week.
You can come and listen to me. I have an
opening in my week. I'll say that I'm opening a free,
free block of dime, a free block of time. Claire.
(36:41):
What else should they listen to? They should listen to
The spill Mummiya's daily entertainment podcast if you want more
like gossip. They did a great episode on Wicked that
I just absolutely good with light the facts. Yeah yeah, yeah,
much better. They did a recent one about all the
Blake Lively updates, absolutely fantastic. Just love it. And for
(37:02):
more from us, you can follow us on social see
what we're up to. God, if it's a year down
the track and you haven't produced anything more, you're gonna
have girls being like you lazy, too hard? What if
I have gone full Leak and markle I'm like, I'm
leaving the royal family because I'm going to do something
my own thing, and then you're gonna have a thing
(37:23):
where everyone goes, I can't tell you too much yet,
but exciting thing, yeah yeah yeah, and then the exciting
thing never comes and ask parently it's rude. No. So
I do have a book coming out later this year.
That's kind of the one thing really in the schedule. Yeah,
so keep an eye for that. That it is Maya
(37:43):
Soul being currently dead. Yeah. Yeah, but yeah, I'm gonna
be doing things, making things, ye or just like trying trying. Yeah,
that's lovely, it'll be too. You can also follow us
on TikTok at. Is it canceled the podcast? Yeah, it
(38:04):
sounds like that. We'll change the name. Yeah, can you
do you have more time? We need to sit down
and work out out what we're going to do with
our socials. I think we do something fun if anyone
has any ideas. That's often what we did on cancel.
We asked our listeners for content I do like. But
we can't just step out of the feud with canceled
the US one. We can't just let them win. Yeah,
(38:24):
they don't know we exist. They're fine. No, but when
you change our name, you can see what it is
and we'll do things. We will I don't know what.
And if you've got a Laser Girl story, please still
send it to the Twins thoughts. We should just share them.
We should do we should do like every week we
share some Laser Girl stories. You're looking at me knowing
(38:48):
it's like, we do it every Friday, and then it'll
be like it's Sunday, and then it'll be three years
and then and it'll be like you we're going to
do it. Yeah, we'll try to have the fight publicly. Well,
thank you so much again, canceled listeners. We have had
the most fun. We're not doing anything with our backlog
(39:08):
that's sitting there. If you want to go, I can
revisit some of your favorite episodes, then please do. And
look what did the AI say? Something about gone but
not forgotten. That sounds like a funeral booklet. Yeah, we'll
be goodbye in terms of the podcast, but it's not
goodbye for good. We'll still be around. No, genuinely, we
(39:31):
probably will have a podcast together in the future. Yeah
we will, but aye. Sorry, sorry, it's tense because of
the feud. Bye bye,
So much. You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast. Mom
and Maya acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters
that this podcast is recorded on Hello and welcome to Cancel,
(00:31):
The Lazy Girl's Guide to Bizarre celebrity cancelations. I'm Jesse
Stevens and I am joined by Claire Stephens and it's
twenty twenty five. Yeah, and I have been dreading today.
I've been dreading it. Canceled four years been my favorite
day of the way. It's not anymore. Okay, Claire, what
are we canceling today? We are canceling Canceled. That is
(00:53):
both a summary of today's episode and on the next
istential level, it is an announcement. This is our last
ever episode of Canceled. We're going to get to why, because,
as is the case when any podcast ends, he's drama.
There are people throwing things, there's gossip, there are agreements broken.
(01:15):
I have a list of enemies. Oh my gosh, there's
only two, but it's Liz Okay, friendships down the toilet.
Family is destroyed. Yeah, that's what happens when a podcast ends.
There's no other way about it. There is always a
few there's an official statement. There's also an unpacking of
that official stag. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, but
all that will be revealed. Our structure for today is
(01:37):
as follows, the origin story when things got weird. Is
there a feud, yes or no? Hint yes, yes, accusations
of laziness Jesse the origin story. According to my research,
we started this podcast in August one. That is such
a long time ago. It is, and I actually confirmed
because we've said this generally for a while. You know,
(01:59):
the other canceled, the American podcast called Cancel Yes, that
started on July twenty sixth, literally two weeks before our
canceled style. So we did copy here, Well, we didn't know.
And everyone says that the thing with copyright and trademark
is if you didn't know, then it doesn't shrug elogi.
I don't know if that's what people say, because I
think they can accuse you of knowing. Yeah, because how
(02:21):
can you prove we didn't. TikTok kept getting mad and
saying we copied, and it's like we didn't because we
didn't check. Will do you know if you knew how
lazy we are? We were just two girls with a
dream and a perspective. We felt that the internet was very,
very earnest about their celebrities. This tweet was discriminatory, this
(02:42):
thought was coded, and we were lumping a dude who
bumbled his words in an interview with a literal criminal.
And that felt weird us. So we thought, we'll make
a little comedy podcast where we take the piss out
of some of these ridiculous celebrity cancelations. Because celebrities are
not serious. This is all a bit of silliness. It's
a bit of fun. And we did quite early on
(03:05):
decide that the scope of our show was we'd stop
at the legal line. Sometimes we went and did a
little bit tech dance tap dance over that line. We went,
you know what, So there the courts have dealt with Harvey. Yeah,
Harvey Weinstein for the court, the actual court, whereas Will
Smith slapping somebody at the Academy Awards, that's for our court.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
It is Oh wow, wow, Will Smith just smacked the
shit out of it.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Remember Jada, Oh how is Jada? She stopped revealing. Where's
red table talk? She revealed too hard? Oh my gosh,
why are we doing this? We should be on Red
Table Talk? Oh my gosh me you and Jada sorting
it out. Yeah yeah, yeah, no that's not that's for later.
But then in twenty twenty two, so we've started the
podcast going swimmingly. In August, the celebrities started doing genuinely
(03:59):
batshit things. I thought the celebrities were doing the bat
ship things and that's why we started the pod. They were,
but they went to the next level early twenty twenty, Okay,
I cried a few things happened. Ilaria Baldwinitozra revealed to
not beat Spaniel, remember that she cucumber correct. Then Armie
Hammer started low key eating people. He's still there's a
(04:23):
lot of shame. There's a lot when you see Army Tamma,
you go, honey, you're just not going to claw back
from that, babe, because it's the image of you eating people.
And it was very like he was very like, we
can't do anything anymore. Yeah, And you can't even eat
a rib. You can't. You can't send a message to
someone saying you want to eat them. How the world's
(04:43):
gone mad? Exactly? Political correctness too far. Remember, the Internet
relentlessly went after James Corden for six months because maybe
he was rude to some white stuff. Well, we say,
maybe he confess. He confessed, and then there was a
hare and then I think there was too much egg
and his egg on like the wrong type of egg,
his egg white. And then there was that amazing story
on Reddit that was definitely a lie about this woman
(05:06):
who was really struggling on a plane and someone watched
her like put the luggage up, and she's managing a baby,
and then she snapped at the person next to her
who wasn't helping her, and it was James Corden and
it was her husband Da And then we told that podcast.
We told that story of the podcast, and then James
Cordon's publicist emailed us and said, can you take it down?
He was quite polite, he was a threat. Yeah, And
(05:27):
we're like, is it We always assument it's not the
real publicist, it's just someone who feels passionately about James Cordon.
And we were like, good on you, you sent an email,
will take it down. We didn't. We took the TikTok down.
Oh yeah, we felt not the yeah, yeah, yeah, Look,
And what was funny about James Corden is it It
wasn't about the restaurant. It wasn't about the plane, It's
about cats, which had happened about twenty nineteen, and people
(05:51):
were still mad about that, was still mad about cats.
We mentioned a few weeks ago that Wicked was put
on the back burner because they've cats, and that is
just the definition of yeah, sometimes you make the wrong
call creatively. Do you think this podcast has been our
cats and then on the back burner has been have
been a Wicked? Yeah? Yeah, great analogy. Actually yeah, people
(06:14):
will be like, oh, that was cats in hindsight. So
this show then started to write itself. Claire, when did
things get weird? Okay? I believe there has been a
symbiotic relationship between canceled the podcast and Hollywood where we
started this podcast and they started getting weirder. You say Hollywood,
but three words Carlos, Michael klark' that's one word and
(06:41):
Nissa and a fist fight and Anthony belly Bell. Yeah.
Remember that episode that we did. Was it on Michael
Klark or was it on Carlos? Yeah? I don't know
if it was on Karl Stefanovic. I think maybe it
was on Karl Stefanovic because was it also about how
he bitched in the back of the uber with his brother. Yeah. Fuck,
done that a lot of times. And I thought, by
(07:02):
the grace of God, go I stones glasshouses. I say
that every time I bitch in ANBA, I think of Carlos. No,
but remember NUSA. Yeah, and they ripped their shirts off
and they started fighting. Yeah, and I was like, a
story has never been written so much just for canceled. Yes,
it should be a theater production because it was so
(07:25):
quinnessentially Australian. Yeah, it's on the streets of neustrom People
had to shield their children. They were like, he used
to be the Captain of Australia. Yeah. There was cheating accusations.
There were just so absolutely valid. There was yelling. Yeah,
Carlos was trying to say keep it down. And Anthony
belly Bell, who was a staple of the day in
mayal May, I say, he pops up a lot. Is
(07:47):
he an accountant? Yeah he is? Yeah, yeah, And I
just die off in wonder. How are things in the
group chat? Yeah with Clarkey and Carlos. Yeah. No, so
that happened and we're like, okay, this is writing itself.
We wouldn't call that Hollywood though, would we no better
than But before this podcast, I was thinking, I'm like,
(08:07):
before this podcast started, were there even cursed press tours?
I feel like the cursed press tours have only started
so we could prosecute them in the cancel court room.
But then I was like, wrong because a simple favor
press tour with Blake Lively and Anna Kendrick, who seemed
to have tension that actually predated the cancel court Yeah,
but Madam Webb, Yeah, don't worry, Darling, it ends with
(08:32):
us that wicked Yeah. Yeah, I will go to my
grave believing that Chris pines bad on our style. I
believe that I don't care what anyone says. No, it's
my favorite drama. Weird moments that we uncovered Demi Levado
(08:58):
in the docu series Unidentified with Demi Lovado, which I've
not seen and refused to ever see. It's moments like this.
I think this podcast is our cats, Like, I'm not
sure that spending this amount of time doing what we've
done was good for human No, no, no, for us. No.
But there is a scene where Demi serenades a ghost.
They're in an abandoned brothel. Do I remember what song
(09:21):
it is? I do. It's in my head, but I
can't sing it. Yeah. Yeah, Well, so all the detectives
are like beat beat, beat, beat bait, and then they
ask questions. They're like, did you suffer trauma? And it's
like beat beet beep, and it's like, no, we haven't
established the code for the beeping anyway. Demi decides the
ghost name is Carmen. The ghost has been through trauma
and the ghost would like her to sing. So what
(09:43):
song does she sing in this documentary to a ghost?
Sky scraper? Yeah, scraper and it's beautiful and we think again,
I will go to my grave. The ghost liked it.
The ghost did like it. My apprehension came from the
claim no issue with there being a ghost, no issue
(10:05):
with the technology to identify the ghost. My issue was
with the claim that the most name was coming because
I've never met Yeah, they're all named like Mary or Susan. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Carmen was just a very arbitrary. Yes. Things also got
weird that she knows controversy. I cried she knows. So
just a little bit of context on that. The Beyonce
(10:26):
conspiracy theory about how she knows the song is actually
about Sean Knowles. More you sing at the less, you
might say, who's Sean Noles? And that's the question flash
issue like I can't go back? Okay, kind of did
make us crack. Will Smith slapped someone on live television
(10:49):
and the Academy Awards to defend the honor of his wife.
But then the family couldn't stop with the revelations until
Jada Pinkett Smith's revelation too close to the sun and
actually shed They weren't even married anymore, so it was
clear unclear, and then she did stop. I think she
listened to that episode I have I've overdone it the
memes that like Jada vi it Smith reveals that she
(11:11):
is too back. That was where we got culturally. Then
the royals megan announcing a lot of stuff and not
launching it. That was our prime kind of issue. We
came back and we actually gave her a pat on
the back when she did launch a few things. But now, honey,
we're back with our fatal floor with American Orchid Riviera,
(11:33):
Orchid Orchid Riviera. When on Tocito, where we'll ask again
and again, where's the jam, where is the gem? Where? Yes, yes, well,
we can't talk she no, well, at least we make
this show. We made a lot of promises. Yeah, sure, God,
(11:55):
we to do a whole episode on cats. We never
every week we're like, we'll put the receipts on Instagram.
And then it became part of our brands that we
didn't that we didn't know. We let people down routinely,
and we're even quite recently. A listener from Texas sent
us a life size guard out of him and I
(12:16):
opened it. I had a good chuckle. Yeah, I haven't
told you this. The office manager here is like, hi, Jesse,
just wondering. Still the life size guard out of the text,
and I can't part with him. Every time I see it,
I feel to leave it. No, I'll need that. Yeah,
I'll need that. That's part of my workplace possessions. It's
(12:36):
very Megan Michael, because I have no plan I want
to do no Also with the Royals, Harry sharing family
secrets about Willie that was made for this podcast, Charles
being an artist and also wanting to be Camilla's tampon. Yep,
that was lovely and he got very bloody thing, angry
bloody thing and his fingers were all swollen. Great timing.
(12:56):
With Trump in the We've got a second term. Yeah,
and we got to explore the real issues, such as
he drinks too many diet cokes a day and he
believes that exercise isn't good for you because it will
exhaust you and you've got a finite amount of energy.
It's like a battery. Yeah. And the diet coke thing,
I mean, we've seen a resurgence in have you seen
(13:17):
this apparently soft drinks back in there's a whole article
in the cut about it, like diet co Wait did
they ever go out? Yeah? Oh wow? But now because
Trump has his diet coke button, apparently Elon Musk loves
a chilled Oh wow, you and me both, Alon. Yeah,
but we know that twelve isn't good on the Stummach fining.
I can't be, it can't be you know what's in it,
(13:41):
which we can say now that we don't need any
sponsorship from a soft drink brand you don't know what's
in it. That was actually one of my feuds in
my list of two. The first one was Pepsi Max,
diet coke and Coke Era. I'm burned it to the
ground because I'm going we asked you to sponsor us. Yeah,
we had you front and center videos to the absolute
(14:05):
fury of the podcast team. That's a drink in the studio,
especially not sticky ones. When I was pregnant, I ate
during records, Yeah, because they're like, you're gonna spill your
sticky drink on the mic, and the second you say no,
I won't, Well that's what you do. Yeah. Yeah, are
the weird times that things got weird. David Beckham propaganda
documentary I Have, which revealed crimes such as moving countries
(14:29):
too often and sometimes not trying even when people were
paying him lots of money on the condition that he
promised to trot.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Yeah, that's what a contract says.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
I don't have funds to go to the work to play.
Speaking of Victoria Beckham, Nicola Pelts Beckham, Brookie and photo
album and trying to be a chef Brooklyn Beckham, No,
I actually like I have a really soft spot in
my soul for Brooklyn because you know what he's trying.
I feel as though Brooklyn Beckham is the soul of Camp. Yes,
(15:11):
if we had a mascot, it'd be Brookie and Mariah
Carey on that stage on New Year's e yeah, saying
you guys get to be on holidays, why don't I
can be on holidays because you're being paid a lot
of money, Babe to perform. But then sometimes the news
cycle was too much and we were like, ugh remember
seventh Then yeah, when Matt and Mary practiced kissing on
(15:34):
each other and later Matt took a slight to prompt
was controversial also because yeah, we realized that it was
just the Bible reimagined. Yeah. Also Titanic, which we essentially
said was just a master no notes, and it's like
that doesn't fit in the scope of canceled. But that
was definitely a low week. Yeah. Yeah, Yeah. It's like
(15:54):
when you have a puzzle and like there's one piece layer,
loss of piece, so you just go and like fit
the coffee table into your puzzle. It doesn't doesn't wear, yeah,
but you want to finish it. Yea. So Birth that
was one thing that didn't again, didn't fit the scope,
but we thought, hey, this is where we're at, and
that was probably a line that I did cross when
(16:16):
I recorded you cheering Charlie birth. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
We actually had a lot of reviews saying this is
cruel yeah, And it's like, is it cruel if I
don't find it cruel? And you might say, was I
in the headspace? No, if I found it cruel. And
the thing about that is I'm detached from my emotions,
so it's absolutely fine. I also have as a note,
(16:37):
remember when Joe Jonas said hi to my elderly dog. Yeah,
and then over the summer, yeah, Hugh Jackman said, how
lady baby? Yeah? Yeah, So we did a canceled episode
on Joe Jonas, and honestly, a big redeeming factor was
that I had been walking my No, I was not,
my partner was walking our dog, who's not a handsome
(16:57):
man anymore. No, he has visible tumors. Yeah, yeah, but
he's living his best life. And Joe Jonas did stop
and say hi, and that was a really lovely moment.
Look there all the moments things got weird, But things
have gotten really weird now because is there a feud?
Is there a few? Look? This show is what industry
insiders call a behemoth. No one, not once has referred
(17:21):
to it as that until me right now, nearly nine
million downloads, that's true. I looked it up. Two hundred episodes.
Do we do any of the logistics. No, no, no,
I just turn up to the studio. I don't think
it's any of those things because we never got around
to merch we never got around to trademarking anything anything
like that. No. Look, this is a pressure cooker. Yes,
(17:41):
like it ends with us am I justin Baldoni. I
you Blake Lively is their beef, Claire. I thought that
what I'd like you to do is read out your
official Instagram statement about why you're leaving. There's a hint.
There's a hint. So what would you say to your
(18:01):
what thirty k followers? Okay, thirty k is mean how
many forty six? You knew? So rude? Okay. I will
just say that I was going to read this statement
in the section of this show called accusations of Laziness,
and now we're doubling up. Yeah, the accusations of laziness
(18:21):
gonna be slightly shorter. Okay, okay. So the thing about
my statement, yeah, did you get a writer or did
you write it? Is that I got a I write
it because I didn't want to write. All right, cool,
So I'm leaving my Maya and by extension, the podcast
that I do at mum Maya. And if I were
the type of person to do such a thing, I
(18:42):
would post a notes app announcement of why I'm leaving, Yeah,
and it would be sufficiently vague. Yeah, and it would
be like, I can't tell you what's coming next, but
stay tuned. But I'm too lazy, Okay, So I got
Ai to do it for me. All right, Right, she's
a lazy girl, So you need to know the prompt
I said, write an announcement that I'm leaving a very successful,
(19:04):
popular podcast after four years. I rounded it up. Okay, Hey,
everyone to four incredible years. It's time for me to
share that I'll be stepping away from podcast Name. Okay.
This has been one of the most rewarding and fulfilling
experiences of my life, and I'll forever be grateful for
all the laughs, insights, and connections that have come from
being a part of this amazing community. I think that
(19:27):
if I was Ai, Yeah, I'd throw in it. It's
time for me to hang up my insert my headphones. Yeah.
When I first joined podcast Name, I could never have
imagined the impact to it. We've created something truly special
together and I'm so proud of everything we've accomplished as
a team. But sometimes a team growth means I don't know,
(19:50):
it doesn't understand where podcast is, but sometimes growth means
embracing new challenges and opportunities. That's what I'm doing now.
I want to thank co hosts for being by my side,
every sech our, incredible listeners for their unwavering support, and
everyone behind the scenes who made this journey possible. The
call producers, I have some respect. Well, this is goodbye
(20:12):
in terms of the podcast. It's not goodbye for good.
I'll still be around and I look forward to whatever's next.
Both for me to say, I just say, you're not dead.
Ad for podcast name. I'm excited to see where this
Joenny takes us all. Thank you again for everything. This
isn't the end, It's just the beginning of a new
chapter up. But I was like insuffusion, so I said,
(20:32):
add more drama and intrigue. It's spout out just some
here are some additional things. And this is also my statement.
All right, sometimes life throws you a curveball, and you
have to trust your gut when it tells you it's
time to move in a new direction. What's the curveball?
What's a curveball. I'm just saying there's a curve. So
(20:54):
what's next for me? Well, I can't tell you everything
just yet. Let's just say the future is looking pretty exciting.
What a whanger? Okay, wait, wait wait wait, I have
a weird competitiveness, and in fact my feud is with Ai.
Mm hmm, so I wrote my own Oh wait, can
I just say I did think that there was something missing? Okay,
(21:17):
so I said, adds alling snarky about Jesse, and then
it was two lights, so I said, more snark about Jesse.
Make it seem like out Okay. As for Jesse dot
dot dot Oh, Jesse, it's interesting it knew you were
my co host, the one co host who somehow managed
to survive this long without getting fired or replaced. We've
(21:39):
had our moments, haven't we. From passive aggressive banter to
straight up feuds. It's been a ride. I mean sure,
we had our differences, like when you somehow think you
can take over the show just because you're louder than me,
But hey, credit, where credits do you? You're still standing
and I guess I should be thankful for that. In
(22:00):
all seriousness, Jesse, you know I'll miss you. We've clashed,
we've laughed, we've survived each other's questionable decisions on air,
but hey, at least you've still got them right. Question?
Am I doing? Canceled on my own? Now? I just
remember the day you finally decide to fire me. I'll
be out there living my best life, leaving you with
the mess. Like I don't get it? Am I? How
(22:22):
can I if I'm not here anyone? This is in
the end when you were quitting. I'll be back, bigger, better,
and Jesse, this is Jesse. Good luck without me. You're
gonna eat it with love and a whole lot of SaaS. Okay,
(22:44):
is modifying so embarrassing? Okay, I wrote a statement to
put on Instagram, but me to put on for me.
You okay, you do yours, and then I'll like, actually
get because it's going to be on a black tile
with white text. No, it's that feels more ominous. What
I co partners co hosts co eggs? Did you totally right? Wow?
(23:12):
I first met Claire in Dad's test and from there
I knew one day we'd make a podcast and see,
it's got typos because I wrote it interesting, it's missing
and connecting. Yet we'd make a podcast about interesting yet
(23:33):
ultimately and consequential celebrity misdemeanors. I have no regrets about
our time together, where we built a family, a community
to our lazy girls, because that's what you've got to do. Yeah,
you are still our number one priority. Yes, even though
our paths might be diverging, it is still a road
that is parallel and joined by a sleep road with
(23:55):
no stop signs or traffic lights. Like a river, we
flow in the same direction. But now our commentary on
Selena Gomez will be the stuff of private messages rather
than a public podcast, which perhaps should have always been
the case. We are moving forward with love, kindness and
guess laziness prospect. Oh that was taken directly from Jessica
(24:17):
Alber's divorcement, and we are embarking on a new chapter
apart but also together. We don't request privacy. This is
important because growing our platforms is important to us. Follow
us at the Twins, underscore thoughts on me personally at
Jesse Stevens ninety, where I will provide more gossip if
and when it comes to me. My statement Okay, follow
(24:39):
me because again, not requesting privacy. Are you're going to
comment on my statement on Instagram? Yeah? Okay, So the
thing is like I do a joke AI statement and
then you do an actual statement, which means that I
have to respond. Yeah, and to that I say no.
But seriously, I have ideas for larger scale projects and
(24:59):
I want to do them on my own. Okay. I
have this weird, illogical and frankly risky instinct, given my
laziness to build something for myself and work out who
I am side of being okay, feels feels pointed. It's
very sad testicle anymore. It's very sad. And to clarify,
(25:21):
like the thing about us, so we're always going to
be twins. Shit, we are gonna do schoft together next
week like what probably didn't week after? Well, like our
girls are having swimming lessons, but it's not quite the same. Yeah,
well we could well look commentate you lessons set. You
(25:44):
have your projects that you want to do. Yeah, independently.
I got dumped. Yeah, I got dumped. Yeah because I
want to keep it, which is interesting because okay, just
some inside of goss, Like, let's get into the feud.
You have been very much like I'm not used to
you calling the shots. I make the decisions for this duo,
(26:06):
and I'm like, no, I think my instincts are telling
me this is what I want to do career wise.
I want to do something on my own. I want
to build something of my own. And You're like, but hmm,
but the lazy girls, believe me, the lazy girls of
the hardest thing. You are fucking with the lazy girls. No,
you've pissed them off. I just want them to know
who the enemy is, Okay, I had no Yeah, yeah,
(26:26):
I told Luca my husband. I said, I've been dumped.
I've lost my child. Claire has quish in an absolute
tea absolutely several months long. Very she has thrown the mic,
she has stumped on the headphones. And he said to me, yeah,
I could go host. Oh wow. And I said, you're
(26:49):
not lazy. You're not a girl. Yeah. No, No, you're
not a lazy girl. You don't know anything about Selena
Goer and her kidney. You don't know anything. You don't
know that she wasn't, in our opinion, thankful enough about
the kidney, and we have anxiety about that relationship. You
don't know the James cordon as a cat gave people
(27:13):
panic attacks okay because they ran out of CGI budget. Yeah,
hands and glitch clitch. The won't know that were human hands.
You don't know with cat faces. Do you know what
that does to a person? No? I didn't think so.
And it was very When we were being bullied in
high school and dad said I'll be your friend, it
(27:34):
was very bad. Like this has become souder. Yeah, yeah, okay,
So I will say to clarify when people are like,
stay tuned, can't tell you what's it sounds a bit
like that. Well for clarity, very very open. Are you
trying to get a job right now? I changed my
(27:55):
LinkedIn setting to open. No. I have ideas, okay, but
but you're not technically according to the government. When I
leave this record, I am, for all intents and purposes,
legally unemployed. Okay. I have one more fear. I don't
(28:18):
want to just raise and put on the table here
three words Australian Podcast Awards. Would you be quitting if
we'd finally won an award? Probably? But would we have
a trophy? Have things would be different? Yeah? So I'll say,
actually we were nominator, we never won and so look,
(28:39):
let's hope manifesting is really important. Here's my dream. Years
from now, Australian Podcast Awards goes bankrupt. No, no, Australian
Podcast Awards becomes Australia's Night of Nights. It already it's
Australia's Night of Night. You're there, yeah, and I'm there.
(29:00):
Yeah for different shows. Oh I don't like that, and
or the same show. We might be on the same
show anyway. All I hope is that there is drama
behind the scenes. And yeah, no, it's going to be
like justin about only I'm gonna send you to the
basement basement yep, yet, and I'm gonna be upstairs. We're
gonna throw drinks yep. We're gonna like give speeches that
(29:22):
like snark on each other. Like that is where this
needs to get to. Yeah, okay, I think it's got
to get to a half a billion dollar lawsuit. We
should fully we should say yeah, Claire, no, no, no,
but we should fully start like an online feud. I
mean no, I think it would actually be really good
for profile. Our profiles profiles have stagnated, But we should
(29:45):
we need to maybe okay, maybe we like really snark
on each other and like really try to galvanize, like
I can try to galvanize people against you. Yeah, if
you want, Yeah, that's fine, that's fine. Okay. Finally, accusations
of laziness. We have been accused by the haters of
(30:05):
being lazy. That is a lie. We self identify as lazy,
and it would appear we were correct all long, because
there is nothing lazier than quitting Jesse. I did the
maths and each episode genuinely takes us like three to
four hours to prep. Like that's including like taking regular
press of say, going to the shop to get our
dream yes, and then we listen back and we do socials.
(30:27):
It takes like an hour record. So I'm going to
say each episode is five hours of work. Are you
just telling your boss that's like you're not any more? Yeah? Yeah,
that means two hundred times five is one thousand hours
of work on camp. Don't may say it takes one
thousand hours to master or something. No, see, that's what
I thought ten thousand. So that explains. That explains this
(30:49):
because I was like, I think it takes a thousand
hours to be an expert something, but it's ten thousand, Okay,
so where one tenth of an expert in whatever the
this is. Yeah, yeah, imagine what we could have done.
This is what Mum would say, Yeah, imagine what let's
when we played the simms for too long? Imagine what
you could do with that. Well, it's forty one days
straight of our lives that we will never get back.
(31:09):
And I guess the question is what did you do
with that time? What do you mean? I made cancel
and this is okay. This has been the highlight of
my week. I really like it. Now I just feel
like you're just laying shit. No, it has been the
highlight in my week two. As Ai would say, it
(31:30):
has been the greatest privilege and joy of my life.
For the last three and a half years. My favorite
thing about this show has been the lazy girls. I
go outside occasionally and from other work I've done, it
is lazy girls that are most likely to come over
to me and say, I'm a lazy girl. Let me
(31:52):
tell you this story. I might just send it to you.
I forgot, yeah, and they'll tell me something. And they
are they are our people. They are good fun. In fact,
I thought we would end on a few lazy girl stories. Yes,
because we got some. We got some over the break,
and they were they were really good stunners. One is
from Catherine, and Catherine says that you know, kids named
(32:14):
gotta come up with with names. Yeah. I recently read
that Matilda is just one of the most popular, and
I was like, oh, this is the thing about being lazy.
You think you're being original, but you're actually just the
same as everyone. Well, Catherine got one of those books.
I got one of those books, look through it and
was like, all right, I'm having a boy. I'm gonna
go through get a sense of what I should call him.
(32:36):
So if you've got one of those books where you start, hey,
get start with. My oldest is named for Andrew. I
didn't get past the a's. I was too lazy and
couldn't be bothered. I also couldn't be bothered with middle names.
Put his dad. I couldn't be bothered with a middle name.
Didn't get my baby one. Mine is my mum's. Yeah, okay,
then just pregnant girl this time. Oh she gets sad.
(32:59):
Oh no, Abigail. If there'd be anything before Abigail first page,
that's absolutely fine, absolutely fine. I considered Abigail or Abby.
I love it. Also, I've got two a named kids.
It wasn't on purpose, pure laziness. Lay, She's a lazy girl.
Love it, love it. This is my other one. Okay,
(33:21):
this is a Liza. During the winter in high school,
we would sit in the classroom for recess. Yeah, yeap,
he was on yep. We sat on one side and
the bin was on the other, approximately a five meter walk.
I hated having to get up and walk to the
bin when I was all comfy and having a laugh
spelled la with my friend Enter solution had an apple
(33:45):
every day recess, so I decided to start eating the
entire core so there would be no rubbish that required
immediate disposal. In case you're wondering, the core was quote foul,
but I remained comfortable and saved myself twenty steps. Lazy.
She's a lazy girl. She's sustainable, sustainable girl. Sorry, lazy
girls don't litter. No lazy girls put rappers receipts in
(34:09):
their pocket. Yeah for ever, it doesn't end up in landfill,
or on the street or in the water. Think about
any applecle I think there's something about it's got a
chemical in it. She's a livestele actually great point. But
that's a really good lazy girl hack. Just like you've
had a music by You've got the Rapper eat the Wrapper. Yeah,
just yeah, yeah. Do you have a favorite laser girl
(34:32):
from all these years on the show, A favorite lazy
girl story? Yeah, the one I think about all the
time is a ghost called Merle. This was on our
Ben Affleck episode, and the story is that this lazy
girl said her bedroom was at the top of the
first floor, and Merle was a lot. She used to
walk up and down the stairs, literally knock on her wall,
and sometimes sit on her bed, which she is distracting
(34:56):
and I imagine at times interfered with sleep. So the
listener's parents asked if she wanted to move to a
bedroom upstairs. Didn't go so much, but it meant being better.
Everyone knows it. Ghosts only stay in the one room,
but it meant further from the kitchen and the bathroom
and stuff. She just continued being haunted by Merl. That's
(35:16):
the thing. Like we've said this before, but it's like
every time I watch a horror movie, I'm like, fuck,
that's really good. But my biggest nightmare you moved to
a new place. Yeah, just moved in our furnitures in yep, yep.
Oh my gosh, I'm never moving again. It's haunted. You
look in the mirror, boom, dead person behind you, damn it.
(35:38):
And You're like, I'm not gonna do anything. I'm not
booking a prieze. I'm not moving now. I just have
to live alongside this ghost which scares me. It does.
I'm being haunted and it's like on the list of
reasons to move, being haunted isn't no, exactly right. It
is a thank you so much for joining us for
all of these years. We have a few people that
(35:59):
we'd like to thank. We never got to do it
the Gustralian podcast Towards We want to thank the producers
we've had Kimberly bradish To, Elysaberzas Rose ker, Leah Porges
and Tom Lyon. The leaders who allowed us to do
this show, Eliza Ratliffe, Holly Wayne Wright, Sarah Curtis, Nat Harvey,
Mia Friedman, Maya Friedman. She said we were about we
were allowed she did, she gave it the green light.
(36:21):
We were allowed to do this. Yeah. Yeah, And I
also want to say, if you want to hear more
from me, I'm not fully quitting my job. I'm like you.
I'm on Mummy Are out Loud five times a week.
You can come and listen to me. I have an
opening in my week. I'll say that I'm opening a free,
free block of dime, a free block of time. Claire.
(36:41):
What else should they listen to? They should listen to
The spill Mummiya's daily entertainment podcast if you want more
like gossip. They did a great episode on Wicked that
I just absolutely good with light the facts. Yeah yeah, yeah,
much better. They did a recent one about all the
Blake Lively updates, absolutely fantastic. Just love it. And for
(37:02):
more from us, you can follow us on social see
what we're up to. God, if it's a year down
the track and you haven't produced anything more, you're gonna
have girls being like you lazy, too hard? What if
I have gone full Leak and markle I'm like, I'm
leaving the royal family because I'm going to do something
my own thing, and then you're gonna have a thing
(37:23):
where everyone goes, I can't tell you too much yet,
but exciting thing, yeah yeah yeah, and then the exciting
thing never comes and ask parently it's rude. No. So
I do have a book coming out later this year.
That's kind of the one thing really in the schedule. Yeah,
so keep an eye for that. That it is Maya
(37:43):
Soul being currently dead. Yeah. Yeah, but yeah, I'm gonna
be doing things, making things, ye or just like trying trying. Yeah,
that's lovely, it'll be too. You can also follow us
on TikTok at. Is it canceled the podcast? Yeah, it
(38:04):
sounds like that. We'll change the name. Yeah, can you
do you have more time? We need to sit down
and work out out what we're going to do with
our socials. I think we do something fun if anyone
has any ideas. That's often what we did on cancel.
We asked our listeners for content I do like. But
we can't just step out of the feud with canceled
the US one. We can't just let them win. Yeah,
(38:24):
they don't know we exist. They're fine. No, but when
you change our name, you can see what it is
and we'll do things. We will I don't know what.
And if you've got a Laser Girl story, please still
send it to the Twins thoughts. We should just share them.
We should do we should do like every week we
share some Laser Girl stories. You're looking at me knowing
(38:48):
it's like, we do it every Friday, and then it'll
be like it's Sunday, and then it'll be three years
and then and it'll be like you we're going to
do it. Yeah, we'll try to have the fight publicly. Well,
thank you so much again, canceled listeners. We have had
the most fun. We're not doing anything with our backlog
(39:08):
that's sitting there. If you want to go, I can
revisit some of your favorite episodes, then please do. And
look what did the AI say? Something about gone but
not forgotten. That sounds like a funeral booklet. Yeah, we'll
be goodbye in terms of the podcast, but it's not
goodbye for good. We'll still be around. No, genuinely, we
(39:31):
probably will have a podcast together in the future. Yeah
we will, but aye. Sorry, sorry, it's tense because of
the feud. Bye bye,
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