January 8, 2025 • 14 mins
Today we welcome an entire TV show into the Cancelled courtroom, 7th Heaven aka the Bible re-written for Fox 8.
So whether you sat through the random marathons on Saturdays or have never watched an episode we are here to prove to you how truly cooked this show was, and of course assign charges and sentences.
And we ask some very important questions like should a teenager go to jail over stealing a single drinking glass? And should a child be suspended for simply sticking up their rude finger?
Listen to the full episode here: 7th “Stop Trying To Be The Bible” Heaven
A LIST OF EVERYONE WE'VE CANCELLED ALONG THE WAY:
Miranda "Salt Lamp" Kerr
Russell “Text Message Divorce” Brand
Orlando "Put Your Penis Away" Bloom
James "Ruins Everything" Corden
THE END BITS
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CREDITS:
Hosts: Clare and Jessie Stephens
Executive Producer: Talissa Bazaz
Audio Producer: Thom Lion
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
So you're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Mama Maya acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters
that this podcast is recorded on Hello and welcome to Canceled,
The Lazy Girl's Guide to bizarre celebrity cancelations. I'm Jesse
(00:35):
Stevens and I'm Claire Stephens. Happy twenty twenty five. We
hope you are enjoying this summer. If you're in Australia,
it's usually the time we all relaxed. But for some reasons,
we don't relax very often here. Never not The lazy
girls are never getting all of that. Well, no, we're
being the opposite of lazy this time of year. Okay,
(00:56):
because what we're going to do is we're going to
give our listeners something we're calling Mama MIA's Hot Pod Summer. Well,
thank you Rose. What's the weather like out there?
Speaker 3 (01:04):
It's hot, damn hot, really hot. Heart of this is
my short I can cook things in it that'll crash.
What cooked.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
We're giving you our favorite moments from Canceled this year,
including our episode on Benefit the relationship that was made
up of too much content, joej Sewa, who really pissed
off the Internet, and Emily Blunt and those Divorced.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Rumors with John Krasinski.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
And on top of that, all podcasts at My Maya
have brand new episodes dropping about the topics we couldn't
stop talking about this year, all curated especially for you. Today,
we need to talk about Seventh Heaven. If you don't
know what that is, and you're five years old, and
you shouldn't be listening, because we say the effort sometimes
(01:47):
and your mum will get you in trouble. We're recanceling
the TV show Seventh Heaven aka The Bible Rewritten for
Fox eight. So whether you sat through random marathons on
Saturdays or have never watched an episode, we are here
to prove to you how truly cooked this show was,
and of course assigned charges and sentences. We asked some
very important questions like should a teenager go to jail
(02:09):
over stealing a single drinking glass?
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Should siblings hook up?
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Yes or no? That comes up weirdly often it does,
along with many other insane storylines from this show. Enjoy
craziest storylines, Jesse, You've already mentioned this. When Mary wants
kissing lessons, so practices on her brother Matt. The interesting
thing about this is that it was the first episode
(02:34):
of the whole show, and I think this, you know,
how you're in a you and I have done a
writer's room recently, and we've talked about this with writing,
where you're like, is this a thing? Right, Like you're
kind of in a room you're spitballing and you're like, yeah, yeah,
you know when you had one recently about tampons and
where you put them and blah blah blah, and you go,
you know when you do this and everyone's like, yeah,
(02:55):
you just know. In the writer's room, everyone's like, hey,
when you just start olding up with your brother because
you want to get practiced, and someone was like, looh,
it's illegal. That's not the vibe. So Matt and Mary
are in the backyard and Mary.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Sexual kind I know it was episode one, but that
was sexual chemistry. Mary asks Matt, so, do I touch
his face with my hands?
Speaker 3 (03:18):
No?
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Look, if anybody touch his face, he touches your face.
Maybe he doesn't look.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
Do we have to do this?
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (03:25):
So just stand still? Okay, So I close my eyes.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Then Mary's like, okay, so I close my eyes and
she kind of purses her lips and leans in to
kiss him. Meanwhile, Reverend Eric has just walked out to
put the rubbish out and he makes eye contact with Matt.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Oh, dad, this is what it looks like.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
That's relieve and then there's like sick and the scene
is over. But that's not the only instance a sexual tension.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
This is one of those things that you watch and
you go, I don't want to be a parent. I
don't want to I want to deal with that.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
I don't want to walk inside and be like, how
do I come on now? Now, I've just got this
thing on my list, deal with my kids hooking up.
That wasn't in the fucking brochure. That wasn't the only
instance of sexual tension between the siblings. Later on in
the series, both Mary and Lucy want to go to
(04:23):
prom with Matt, and it's.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Just really odd.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
It's really weird because and I think it's honestly like, yeah,
he's hot, he's your brother. And then when Lucy goes
into labor, Matt is there and he's a doctor, okay,
but Lucy generalist or ob or I think he's like
still training at this point, all right, But Lucy's husband,
Kevin is like, don't look at her.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
You better not be looking at my wife. Kevin. I'm
a doctor.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
You're her brother, but I'm a doctor.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
I hope that doesn't mean what I think it means.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
What do you not want anyone to look at her
vagina while she's giving birth?
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Is that it because someone.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
Has to?
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Is it weird if it's a brother.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Yeah, the stranger things have happened.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
I know.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
I've spoken to people who are doctors who deliver babies,
and I have asked a question to them and their sibling,
and I've said, would you want to deliver her baby
or whatever?
Speaker 1 (05:23):
And often they say no, I wouldn't want to. I
wouldn't too close. Too close. So again, it is Matt
being a creep. It is he's like, no, show me
a bad come salivating, Come on, Jesse.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
When Matt doesn't steal a glass and ends up in court, Okay,
Mary goes to a diner and she steals a glass.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
It's water glass.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Do you remember when we were kids the amount of
glasses that were in our cupboard That do in the
long term, I swear every time we went to a
bowling club or an arasl or anything.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
It just somehow, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Like mum was like packing her children to bags and
just picked up like a four play. Yeah, so she
steals the glass to try to impress her basketball friends.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
But I don't think it's cool.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Obviously. Reverend Campden finds it, yeah, and he's like tut tut,
who stole the glass?
Speaker 1 (06:25):
So relatable in terms of adolescent issues.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
And Matt takes the blame, which is odd, but I
think he's like trying to flirt with Mary. And Eric
is like, okay, we'll go back and tell them you
stole it and return it. So Matt does and then
decides to press chart.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
An apology unaccepted. That's right, unaccepted. I'm pressing charges.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Jesse.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Matt goes to jail.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
He goes to jail class, that's not how the law work.
And then he's at the trial. Matt could go to
school at the open fire, and he want to go
to jail, like this is America. So then he goes
to trial.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Because if you wouldn't go to trial.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
One thing courts takes seriously, it's teenage es. Actually when
you're a white Christian that they took one look at
Matt and when you're tru no, no, But then all
these other students march in with other things they've stolen
from diners, your runner.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
They're all a bunch of little thieves. I'm pressing charges.
I want them all in jail.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
And the sentiment is like, judge, you're gonna arrest all
of us.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
And the judge is like, absolutely not.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
How the law works, do not? I know that's how
we think the law works. But if you are on
trial for hitting someone like a hit and run, and
I walk in and go I did a hit and runner,
you're gonna arrest both of us. Yes, yes, but you're separate.
You're separate, but thank you for handing yourself in there.
So yeah, base, the moral of the story is you
(08:12):
will get arrested for stealing one one time, which confirms
the theory I have as of now that Seventh Heaven
was like an updated Bible. Oh my god, yes, so
there's like Old Testament, New Testament, seventh Heaven Testament and
seventh Heaven. Everything was like a parable or so shall
(08:34):
not steal a glass room?
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Yeah yeah?
Speaker 2 (08:36):
And what happens and like Reverend is God and it
comes in and it's basically like, how do we teach
a new generation of Americans.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
The Bible sinning.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
Well, there's a lot of parables. Okay. Next craziest storyline,
Simon finds a homeless girl. Simon brings home a homeless
girl and literally yells.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Hey, look what I've found. Can I keep her? Can
I keep her? I keep her?
Speaker 2 (09:04):
She has the worst makeup I've ever seen to try
and make her look dirty.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
It's like a little bit of bronze up.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Yeah, they clean her up, and then Simon and Ruthie
have a fight about who gets to own her.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Slaves are illegal because she's right here. Okay.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
Simon literally starts training her like a dog with treats.
Then Reverend Camden in a parallel storyline that you forgot
to mention Happy Oh yeah, sorry, Happy the dog played
by Happy Happy the dog. That's what I always remember
from the storyline. We get to happy Happy Happy often
drives plot forward.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
Reverend Camden somehow he always joins the police force, but
like incidentally, so all of a sudden he has access
to missing persons files. Okay, and he's at the police station. Yeah,
just in his spare time. And this man is a
trusted member of the community. Like all reverend should be.
This man walks into the police station and you know
(10:02):
straight away, well, that's the father of the homeless girl
that your children are training to see. And you know
that because their makeup is equally as terrible.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
Okay, so it's like you also have dirt on your lip?
Speaker 3 (10:17):
Yees.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Yeah. It turns out he's not homeless, he's an alcoholic.
So Eric goes home and tells Simon, you.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
Got to give the homeless girl back.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Well, no, he's like, this girl's name is Sarah, And
suddenly she starts talking. She's been silent until now, and
she just gives like a whole family background. It's like
everything's been silent, so much mystery. And then she's like,
my dad's an alcoholic because my mom like just gives
year's worth of a story. You trusts, Eric, Yeah, luckily,
Eric and Matt go to the alcoholic man's house.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
So he's not homeless. He's not homeless.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Oh, but his house is messy because he's an alcoholic.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
Okay, which is why he's got dirt.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Yes, So they go to his house to clean it. Oh,
that'll do it as a lesson, okay, And the lesson
I think to matt is, if you drink alcohol, you'll
have a messy house. I don't know, but they clean
his house, and I think they're not allowed to keep
the homeless.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Girl have to give her back.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
I worry about the family's finances because Annie, I mean,
she's a tireless worker.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
We see her with laundry busts.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
She works harder than bloody Reverend Camden. Ah, she works
harder than them all put together. But she's not contributing
to the bottom line of that household. She's not because
I don't think she's on benefits.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
But I can't see it all.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
It's a soling cump family. It's a souling cump family
with seven children and from giving one them and I'm like,
how much and putting your nose in other people's business.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
It's not paid. It's not paid.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
And another, actually an important part of that is it
is heavily implied that the church pays for their house.
Their house is too nice, it's too like a church
donated to bloody Sarah and her dad. A church shouldn't
be paying for your wholesome suburban line pancakes you have
for breakfast. Yeah, yeah, the reverend was too rich. That
(12:10):
always bothered me, Jesse. When Matt takes a slut to
prom so Matt doesn't have a prom date. This is
where Lucy and Mary are like, take me. Then a
weird man comes to Reverend Camden and he's like, can
Matt take my daughter to prompt?
Speaker 3 (12:27):
I've got the perfect guy in mind to take Connie
to the prom, but I need your help. I was
wondering if your son Matt could possibly take Connie.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Well, like I said, you know, I could ask. This
is great. Thanks, which is weird because everyone's always just
in each other's business and it's.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
All men being like can we trade daughters? You know
what I mean?
Speaker 2 (12:47):
It's exactly what it is. So he's like, yeah, yeah,
my daughter Connie, can he take her? He goes home
and says, Matt, can you take this Connie chick to prompt?
And Matt's face he's like, interesting, is she up? Well,
we learn Connie is a slut? How do you learn
that from how she dresses? Got it?
Speaker 1 (13:06):
No, she actually she's curvy. She has short hair. Yeah, wow,
very edgy.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
So what she is is she's a bisexual temptress.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
She's a temptress. She's Anna from the uc Yeah, exactly. Yeah,
you just don't know which way she's gonna go.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
So Matt asks her and she's like, I can't come.
I don't have a dress. And Matt's like, that's fine,
Mum will make you one.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
Oh yuck. And the problem is like a prairie dress.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
The problem is that night and so Annie has seven kids,
So poor Annie, including surprise es. Yeah, that's to take
down the curtains and make a dress for this girl
she's never met.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
Okay, Okay, So I just.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
I just know that if that was our family, the
resentment between mum and dad situation would be if you
made them take this random slut to the prom. Anyway
at prom, Matt's like, no, I'm gonna be a good Christian.
So he's like, why are you a slut? Ah?
Speaker 1 (14:03):
Why are you a slut? Slight conversion therapy and she's like,
my mom died and that's a lovely lesson.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Sometimes women are sluts because you're trauma, okay, And that's
why Lucy, Mary, Ruthie, they're good girls because they've got
the example of Annie in a laundry basket. Exactly. There
are many, many more crazy storylines, like when the family
celebrated Lucy's first period, and when one character joins a
(14:34):
gang and another gets married after one day. To listen
to that entire episode, just click the link in our
show notes. You can find videos from the podcast and
evidence of the celebrity crimes on our Instagram at the
Twins underscore thoughts, or on TikTok at cancel the podcast,
Bye Bye,
So you're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Mama Maya acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters
that this podcast is recorded on Hello and welcome to Canceled,
The Lazy Girl's Guide to bizarre celebrity cancelations. I'm Jesse
(00:35):
Stevens and I'm Claire Stephens. Happy twenty twenty five. We
hope you are enjoying this summer. If you're in Australia,
it's usually the time we all relaxed. But for some reasons,
we don't relax very often here. Never not The lazy
girls are never getting all of that. Well, no, we're
being the opposite of lazy this time of year. Okay,
(00:56):
because what we're going to do is we're going to
give our listeners something we're calling Mama MIA's Hot Pod Summer. Well,
thank you Rose. What's the weather like out there?
Speaker 3 (01:04):
It's hot, damn hot, really hot. Heart of this is
my short I can cook things in it that'll crash.
What cooked.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
We're giving you our favorite moments from Canceled this year,
including our episode on Benefit the relationship that was made
up of too much content, joej Sewa, who really pissed
off the Internet, and Emily Blunt and those Divorced.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Rumors with John Krasinski.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
And on top of that, all podcasts at My Maya
have brand new episodes dropping about the topics we couldn't
stop talking about this year, all curated especially for you. Today,
we need to talk about Seventh Heaven. If you don't
know what that is, and you're five years old, and
you shouldn't be listening, because we say the effort sometimes
(01:47):
and your mum will get you in trouble. We're recanceling
the TV show Seventh Heaven aka The Bible Rewritten for
Fox eight. So whether you sat through random marathons on
Saturdays or have never watched an episode, we are here
to prove to you how truly cooked this show was,
and of course assigned charges and sentences. We asked some
very important questions like should a teenager go to jail
(02:09):
over stealing a single drinking glass?
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Should siblings hook up?
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Yes or no? That comes up weirdly often it does,
along with many other insane storylines from this show. Enjoy
craziest storylines, Jesse, You've already mentioned this. When Mary wants
kissing lessons, so practices on her brother Matt. The interesting
thing about this is that it was the first episode
(02:34):
of the whole show, and I think this, you know,
how you're in a you and I have done a
writer's room recently, and we've talked about this with writing,
where you're like, is this a thing? Right, Like you're
kind of in a room you're spitballing and you're like, yeah, yeah,
you know when you had one recently about tampons and
where you put them and blah blah blah, and you go,
you know when you do this and everyone's like, yeah,
(02:55):
you just know. In the writer's room, everyone's like, hey,
when you just start olding up with your brother because
you want to get practiced, and someone was like, looh,
it's illegal. That's not the vibe. So Matt and Mary
are in the backyard and Mary.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Sexual kind I know it was episode one, but that
was sexual chemistry. Mary asks Matt, so, do I touch
his face with my hands?
Speaker 3 (03:18):
No?
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Look, if anybody touch his face, he touches your face.
Maybe he doesn't look.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
Do we have to do this?
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (03:25):
So just stand still? Okay, So I close my eyes.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Then Mary's like, okay, so I close my eyes and
she kind of purses her lips and leans in to
kiss him. Meanwhile, Reverend Eric has just walked out to
put the rubbish out and he makes eye contact with Matt.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Oh, dad, this is what it looks like.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
That's relieve and then there's like sick and the scene
is over. But that's not the only instance a sexual tension.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
This is one of those things that you watch and
you go, I don't want to be a parent. I
don't want to I want to deal with that.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
I don't want to walk inside and be like, how
do I come on now? Now, I've just got this
thing on my list, deal with my kids hooking up.
That wasn't in the fucking brochure. That wasn't the only
instance of sexual tension between the siblings. Later on in
the series, both Mary and Lucy want to go to
(04:23):
prom with Matt, and it's.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Just really odd.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
It's really weird because and I think it's honestly like, yeah,
he's hot, he's your brother. And then when Lucy goes
into labor, Matt is there and he's a doctor, okay,
but Lucy generalist or ob or I think he's like
still training at this point, all right, But Lucy's husband,
Kevin is like, don't look at her.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
You better not be looking at my wife. Kevin. I'm
a doctor.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
You're her brother, but I'm a doctor.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
I hope that doesn't mean what I think it means.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
What do you not want anyone to look at her
vagina while she's giving birth?
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Is that it because someone.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
Has to?
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Is it weird if it's a brother.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Yeah, the stranger things have happened.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
I know.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
I've spoken to people who are doctors who deliver babies,
and I have asked a question to them and their sibling,
and I've said, would you want to deliver her baby
or whatever?
Speaker 1 (05:23):
And often they say no, I wouldn't want to. I
wouldn't too close. Too close. So again, it is Matt
being a creep. It is he's like, no, show me
a bad come salivating, Come on, Jesse.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
When Matt doesn't steal a glass and ends up in court, Okay,
Mary goes to a diner and she steals a glass.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
It's water glass.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Do you remember when we were kids the amount of
glasses that were in our cupboard That do in the
long term, I swear every time we went to a
bowling club or an arasl or anything.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
It just somehow, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Like mum was like packing her children to bags and
just picked up like a four play. Yeah, so she
steals the glass to try to impress her basketball friends.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
But I don't think it's cool.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Obviously. Reverend Campden finds it, yeah, and he's like tut tut,
who stole the glass?
Speaker 1 (06:25):
So relatable in terms of adolescent issues.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
And Matt takes the blame, which is odd, but I
think he's like trying to flirt with Mary. And Eric
is like, okay, we'll go back and tell them you
stole it and return it. So Matt does and then
decides to press chart.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
An apology unaccepted. That's right, unaccepted. I'm pressing charges.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Jesse.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Matt goes to jail.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
He goes to jail class, that's not how the law work.
And then he's at the trial. Matt could go to
school at the open fire, and he want to go
to jail, like this is America. So then he goes
to trial.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Because if you wouldn't go to trial.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
One thing courts takes seriously, it's teenage es. Actually when
you're a white Christian that they took one look at
Matt and when you're tru no, no, But then all
these other students march in with other things they've stolen
from diners, your runner.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
They're all a bunch of little thieves. I'm pressing charges.
I want them all in jail.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
And the sentiment is like, judge, you're gonna arrest all
of us.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
And the judge is like, absolutely not.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
How the law works, do not? I know that's how
we think the law works. But if you are on
trial for hitting someone like a hit and run, and
I walk in and go I did a hit and runner,
you're gonna arrest both of us. Yes, yes, but you're separate.
You're separate, but thank you for handing yourself in there.
So yeah, base, the moral of the story is you
(08:12):
will get arrested for stealing one one time, which confirms
the theory I have as of now that Seventh Heaven
was like an updated Bible. Oh my god, yes, so
there's like Old Testament, New Testament, seventh Heaven Testament and
seventh Heaven. Everything was like a parable or so shall
(08:34):
not steal a glass room?
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Yeah yeah?
Speaker 2 (08:36):
And what happens and like Reverend is God and it
comes in and it's basically like, how do we teach
a new generation of Americans.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
The Bible sinning.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
Well, there's a lot of parables. Okay. Next craziest storyline,
Simon finds a homeless girl. Simon brings home a homeless
girl and literally yells.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Hey, look what I've found. Can I keep her? Can
I keep her? I keep her?
Speaker 2 (09:04):
She has the worst makeup I've ever seen to try
and make her look dirty.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
It's like a little bit of bronze up.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Yeah, they clean her up, and then Simon and Ruthie
have a fight about who gets to own her.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Slaves are illegal because she's right here. Okay.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
Simon literally starts training her like a dog with treats.
Then Reverend Camden in a parallel storyline that you forgot
to mention Happy Oh yeah, sorry, Happy the dog played
by Happy Happy the dog. That's what I always remember
from the storyline. We get to happy Happy Happy often
drives plot forward.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
Reverend Camden somehow he always joins the police force, but
like incidentally, so all of a sudden he has access
to missing persons files. Okay, and he's at the police station. Yeah,
just in his spare time. And this man is a
trusted member of the community. Like all reverend should be.
This man walks into the police station and you know
(10:02):
straight away, well, that's the father of the homeless girl
that your children are training to see. And you know
that because their makeup is equally as terrible.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
Okay, so it's like you also have dirt on your lip?
Speaker 3 (10:17):
Yees.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Yeah. It turns out he's not homeless, he's an alcoholic.
So Eric goes home and tells Simon, you.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
Got to give the homeless girl back.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Well, no, he's like, this girl's name is Sarah, And
suddenly she starts talking. She's been silent until now, and
she just gives like a whole family background. It's like
everything's been silent, so much mystery. And then she's like,
my dad's an alcoholic because my mom like just gives
year's worth of a story. You trusts, Eric, Yeah, luckily,
Eric and Matt go to the alcoholic man's house.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
So he's not homeless. He's not homeless.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Oh, but his house is messy because he's an alcoholic.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
Okay, which is why he's got dirt.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Yes, So they go to his house to clean it. Oh,
that'll do it as a lesson, okay, And the lesson
I think to matt is, if you drink alcohol, you'll
have a messy house. I don't know, but they clean
his house, and I think they're not allowed to keep
the homeless.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Girl have to give her back.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
I worry about the family's finances because Annie, I mean,
she's a tireless worker.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
We see her with laundry busts.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
She works harder than bloody Reverend Camden. Ah, she works
harder than them all put together. But she's not contributing
to the bottom line of that household. She's not because
I don't think she's on benefits.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
But I can't see it all.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
It's a soling cump family. It's a souling cump family
with seven children and from giving one them and I'm like,
how much and putting your nose in other people's business.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
It's not paid. It's not paid.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
And another, actually an important part of that is it
is heavily implied that the church pays for their house.
Their house is too nice, it's too like a church
donated to bloody Sarah and her dad. A church shouldn't
be paying for your wholesome suburban line pancakes you have
for breakfast. Yeah, yeah, the reverend was too rich. That
(12:10):
always bothered me, Jesse. When Matt takes a slut to
prom so Matt doesn't have a prom date. This is
where Lucy and Mary are like, take me. Then a
weird man comes to Reverend Camden and he's like, can
Matt take my daughter to prompt?
Speaker 3 (12:27):
I've got the perfect guy in mind to take Connie
to the prom, but I need your help. I was
wondering if your son Matt could possibly take Connie.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Well, like I said, you know, I could ask. This
is great. Thanks, which is weird because everyone's always just
in each other's business and it's.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
All men being like can we trade daughters? You know
what I mean?
Speaker 2 (12:47):
It's exactly what it is. So he's like, yeah, yeah,
my daughter Connie, can he take her? He goes home
and says, Matt, can you take this Connie chick to prompt?
And Matt's face he's like, interesting, is she up? Well,
we learn Connie is a slut? How do you learn
that from how she dresses? Got it?
Speaker 1 (13:06):
No, she actually she's curvy. She has short hair. Yeah, wow,
very edgy.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
So what she is is she's a bisexual temptress.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
She's a temptress. She's Anna from the uc Yeah, exactly. Yeah,
you just don't know which way she's gonna go.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
So Matt asks her and she's like, I can't come.
I don't have a dress. And Matt's like, that's fine,
Mum will make you one.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
Oh yuck. And the problem is like a prairie dress.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
The problem is that night and so Annie has seven kids,
So poor Annie, including surprise es. Yeah, that's to take
down the curtains and make a dress for this girl
she's never met.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
Okay, Okay, So I just.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
I just know that if that was our family, the
resentment between mum and dad situation would be if you
made them take this random slut to the prom. Anyway
at prom, Matt's like, no, I'm gonna be a good Christian.
So he's like, why are you a slut? Ah?
Speaker 1 (14:03):
Why are you a slut? Slight conversion therapy and she's like,
my mom died and that's a lovely lesson.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Sometimes women are sluts because you're trauma, okay, And that's
why Lucy, Mary, Ruthie, they're good girls because they've got
the example of Annie in a laundry basket. Exactly. There
are many, many more crazy storylines, like when the family
celebrated Lucy's first period, and when one character joins a
(14:34):
gang and another gets married after one day. To listen
to that entire episode, just click the link in our
show notes. You can find videos from the podcast and
evidence of the celebrity crimes on our Instagram at the
Twins underscore thoughts, or on TikTok at cancel the podcast,
Bye Bye,
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