COMMUNITY CONNECTION WITH TINA COSBY - 11-25-2025

COMMUNITY CONNECTION - 11252025 - VIKKI GLADNEY WELLNESS - DR. DENISE HAYES - SHARON SANDERS - CLINICIAN FOR FAMILY AND LEANNA STEVERSON DOCTORAL STUDENT AT PURDUE NW 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Discussing the issues that mattered to you and keeping you
informed with what's happening in and around Indy. It's community
connection with Tina Cosby, brought to you by Child Advocates,
a champion for justice, opportunity and well being for children
on Praise Am thirteen ten ninety five point one FM
and Good afternoon.

Speaker 2 (00:22):
Ha ha, Yeah, it is is a rainy one. It's
a good one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know. The rain
is a couple of days late, I guess.

Speaker 3 (00:32):
I think so. There was a little bit was it yesterday?
Was it a little bit mad? It was a little
bit yesterday when I.

Speaker 4 (00:41):
Was driving in.

Speaker 3 (00:42):
But it depends on where you are, I think too.

Speaker 2 (00:45):
I think it does.

Speaker 3 (00:45):
But this morning there was a lot of rain coming in.
I drove through a lot of rain.

Speaker 2 (00:49):
Oh you did, what time did you drive?

Speaker 4 (00:51):
About?

Speaker 5 (00:52):
Nine?

Speaker 3 (00:52):
Nine o'clock? A lot of rain for me on the Interstates.
Idiotic people, that kind of thing.

Speaker 2 (01:00):
I can't, you know. It never ceases to amaze me
how some people. I mean, when it's coming down hard
like that and visibility is low because of the rain,
of course, but also because being dark. People are going
eighty ninety miles and they're flying, don't how could you
see where you're going?

Speaker 3 (01:17):
You're absolutely right. That's the average speed eighty eighty five.

Speaker 2 (01:20):
And they just go. They do it in the snow too,
and the ice and on the ice.

Speaker 3 (01:24):
And cut you off at the same time.

Speaker 2 (01:26):
Oh yeah, and then flip you off after they you
get all that, yeah, after they get right past you.
But most of the time you don't have much of
a problem. You're right, You're right into.

Speaker 3 (01:37):
Most of the time. No, A guy pretty upset with
me yesterday after work.

Speaker 6 (01:41):
I was behind other traffic and it was turning in
front of me, so I'm breaking and traffic stopping and going,
and he got irritated and screeching tires, goes around like
it's my fault.

Speaker 3 (01:52):
Yeah, yeah, I'm waiting for these people to turn. I
can't do anything.

Speaker 2 (01:55):
You know, people have so little patience. Patience it's kind
of scary. I mean, if you just if you sleep
a light for just half of a second, they're laying
on the you know, like I had a guy once,
not only did he lay on the horn, he uh,
you know, tailgated me, you know, just just yeah, for

(02:17):
about a block and a half, just to show that
he wasn't happy, you know, And I'm like, if I'd
have slammed on the brakes, he'd have been in trouble
because you know it would have been I didn't. But
he just rode my bumper. He rode it, rode it,
rode it as close as he possibly could to make
his uh, make his point. I hope he felt better.

Speaker 6 (02:34):
And they never stopped to think that something could happen
mechanically to if not your car, the one in front
of you, the next door in front.

Speaker 2 (02:41):
Of them, could be anything.

Speaker 3 (02:44):
You know.

Speaker 2 (02:44):
Well, part of the reason I think, if I'm not mistaken,
yeah I was, there was a car in front of me.
He couldn't see that there was a car in front
of me that I had to allow.

Speaker 3 (02:52):
For of course. Yeah, so it was your fault, Yeah.

Speaker 2 (02:54):
Of course corse course course we got it. We got
to do a show on that driver impatience and what
do we you know, what are we supposed to do
about it? Because this, you know what they call it
road rage? Yeah, it results in a lot of folks
that they're now I fixed you.

Speaker 3 (03:10):
Aggressive aggressive driving.

Speaker 2 (03:12):
Yeah, aggressive driving will take you take yourself right onto jail,
because that's where you're going. If you heard anybody, but
so on and so forth. But anyway, good afternoon to everybody.
This is community connection. Today is Tuesday, November twenty fifth.
Three one seven four eight zero thirteen ten. Three one seven,
four eight zero thirteen ten is the number to the show,

(03:34):
Eric Garnes of course with us uh and one day
in counting. You know, oh, Eric, remember we said we
were going to look up the company to make sure
to let our listeners know that we are leaving tomorrow.

Speaker 3 (03:49):
That's right, and it's just a it's an.

Speaker 6 (03:51):
Hour, right, one hour show, one hour show tomorrow, so
we know for sure.

Speaker 2 (03:55):
And then music Thursday, Thanksgiving Day and Friday the day
after things, so we'll music.

Speaker 3 (04:00):
We'll be off for a few days Thanksgiving and the
day after.

Speaker 2 (04:04):
You're not you're not coming into you really are off.
I'm really off, okay, because when we say off and
we're off the air, but a lot of times we
have the work.

Speaker 6 (04:11):
Yeah, in the building, I believe I'm off until okay,
after tomorrow, when I'm done.

Speaker 3 (04:17):
I'll have other things to do when I get off
the air. But after that, yeah, doing fun stuff.

Speaker 2 (04:24):
Yeah, fun to me is nothing that completely fun to
me is absolutely positively nothing, but anyway, a programming note
for you will say it again, and we'll remind you
before we get off the air, and then we'll remind
you tomorrow when we're on the air. But you know,

(04:45):
in observance of the Thanksgiving holiday, uh and the holiday weekend,
our wonderful owners have given us, you know, a half
a day off tomorrow and of course Thursday and Friday off,
So we will do a one hour show tomorrow. But
we got a full show for you today, a full show. Indeed,

(05:06):
the second hour of the second hour, psychologist doctor Denise
Hayes is back with us and in interesting look, she's
she's going to take an interesting look at what it's
like once the therapy, what it's like in therapy once
the door is closed, you know, because we hear a
lot of people say they need therapy or they should
go to therapy, or I need or we might say

(05:28):
I need therapy. So what happens when the door is closed?
What's that like?

Speaker 7 (05:32):
You know?

Speaker 2 (05:33):
Yeah, yeah, so I think that'll be pretty interesting. Behind
the door, Yeah, behind the doors. That discussion again is
coming up in our second hour a little later this hour,
as we were saying Thanksgiving, of course, is Thursday, and
what do you do on Thanksgiving? Well, it's a day
a number of US families and friends enjoy a veritable feast,
to be perfectly honest, So what's the best thing to

(05:53):
do after consuming all that food? Our guest at one
point thirty has the answer. Again, that's coming up problem
about thirty minutes from now. Right now, we can take
your phone calls three one seven for eight zero thirteen
ten three one seven four eight zero thirteen ten. Want
to give a reminder as we're getting our phone calls together,

(06:14):
as Eric is getting the calls. Something we shared with
you a few days ago, the we ain't buying it
economic boycott, the economic blackout is coming up starting Thanksgiving Day.
Let's see to yeah, the twenty seventh through the December first. Yeah,
November twenty seventh through December first, from Thanksgiving Day through

(06:36):
Cyber Monday, a coordinated weekend of economic non cooperation that
millions of Americans are being asked to withhold. They're purchasing
power from Thanksgiving Day, which is Thursday, through Cyber Monday,
which is December first. November twenty seventh through December first. Now,

(07:00):
this boycott has been called to protest companies, protest against
companies and corporations that are enabling the Trump Administration's abuses
of power and more.

Speaker 8 (07:14):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (07:14):
The campaign is directly targeting three specific major retailers and
they are target Home Depot and Amazon. So again we
are letting you know that an economic blackout is going
to be underway starting on Thanksgiving Day going through Monday,
Cyber Monday, December first, and three particular major retailers in particular.

(07:40):
You're asked not to patronize, don't buy from them, is
what we're asking, is what they're asking. The organizers are
asking that we ain't buying it organizers, and they're also
being joined by the No Kings movement, I understand, and
a number of others. So coordinated effort target Home Depot
and Amazon target we all know all too well, Home

(08:02):
Depot and Amazon are the free retailers. And we'll remind
you of that again as well. Right now, let's go
to the phone line three one seven for zero thirteen ten.
Let's go to line two. Soldier on line two, go ahead,
how are you praise Lord?

Speaker 4 (08:18):
I'm blessed? What about yourself?

Speaker 2 (08:21):
Very well? Blessed? Indeed, thank you.

Speaker 4 (08:25):
Every time I come in town. I travel a lot.
I always check out the library and leave my radio
on with you all, And I just wish everybody did
like that, because you all are on point of Indianapolis.

Speaker 2 (08:42):
You know, we'll say we try, Thank you very much.

Speaker 4 (08:46):
I posted something on my page today from Newsweek which
was pertaining to what you just said, and they state
that their dates are twenty November twenty fifth to December.

Speaker 2 (09:00):
Okay, yeah, just today. This is just the piece that
I pulled from, uh what I had on my phone,
So yeah, it could. Yeah, you know what, Yeah, it
doesn't matter. Yeah, you do it. Yeah, as long as
it's done, as long as it's no.

Speaker 4 (09:16):
I didn't bring that up to it wasn't it wasn't
right or wrong. I just want to let you know Newsweek.
And then when I posted it, I also posted that
it's not a black or white thing, it's American thing,
because I get so tired of people saying Democrat, Republican,
black or white, you know, and so I'm just saying,
this is American thing. And and I also want to

(09:38):
let people know that if you've got an emergency, you know, hey, listen,
we're not blaming it on your head.

Speaker 9 (09:45):
You know.

Speaker 4 (09:45):
We know your heart, you know, so you got to
deal with what you got to deal with. Uh. And
you know, like if you got an emergency issue of something,
you got to you know, like me, I'm looking for
a plumber now.

Speaker 10 (09:57):
You know, I would like to be you.

Speaker 4 (10:01):
I would like to be Uh. Don't spend no money,
but I need some water line fixed, you know.

Speaker 2 (10:09):
Because you know, a lot of people on this particular
weekend look forward to this particular weekend just to spend
money because of the deals being offered. So but yeah,
it's you know, within reason, I think. You Yeah, if
you have to, if you have an emergency in your
house is overflown with water, you got to you got
to spend some money to get somebody to stop it.

Speaker 4 (10:29):
So oh yeah, yeah. The biggest thing is for those
that don't vote or don't even act like they concerned
and stuff. It's just this is a time. Uh, when
I talk to my mag of people that I know,
because I talk with everybody, I said, you know what,

(10:49):
I pray for the president because he's the president. You know,
I'm just trying to do the diligent thing, you know,
pray pray for who's in charge, you know, I said,
But when you started a racing in black history, that
that moved up the top of my list of something
something is not right, Some is not right here, you know.

(11:10):
And uh, if we don't recognize it, and people say,
well I don't protest and I don't do this, and
I don't do that, well you uh, you know you
following that category. You don't do you know, so until
it hits you. And then when it hits you, see,
I deal with a suicide tempt uh uh prevention awareness awareness,

(11:33):
suicide attempt awareness. And unless it hits you, you know
somebody or or you don't care about it. But when
you hear about it, you know, something like this, like
all these medical things getting ready to be raised up
and stuff like that. I don't care who you are,
if you know somebody or it might affect you, you

(11:54):
know about the cost of medical you know. So I
want to applaud you all if you've got should I
go online? Do y'all don't have no uh you know,
uh any kind of if you need any help done?
Uh look up under you know, minority people and anything

(12:16):
like that.

Speaker 2 (12:16):
Yeah there, Eric, if you want to want to take that, well, okay,
go ahead, Eric, we do we do. Uh, And we
have several resource pages behind a lot of the topics
that we we often discuss. The problem is we're gonna
have to wait, I mean for somebody to go there immediately. Eric,
right now, it's gonna be another week or two.

Speaker 3 (12:38):
Right, Yeah, it's gonna be another week as there's still
under construction at this point, still.

Speaker 2 (12:43):
Rebuilding the rebuilding it.

Speaker 4 (12:45):
Yes, okay, this then, Uh, I'm going to try to
call the the newspaper recorder. I'm gonna try to I'm
trying hard to stay within us. You know. Uh, is
there a chamber here?

Speaker 1 (13:01):
Yes?

Speaker 2 (13:01):
Yes, you like Chamber of Commerce. Yes, the Yeah, you
can just google them. Thomas one of our good buddies.
Thomas Griffin is a member. He's also a co host
of Reverend Brown Show on Harambe on Saturdays. I was
looking for.

Speaker 4 (13:21):
Okay, yeah, I love listening to those shows. But I
know my number shows up, and I'm giving you permission.
If you know something, knows something, feel free to pass
it on to anybody because I'm I'm kind of known
with my uniqueness of my name. I just had anniversary
this past Saturday of twenty one years, and we have

(13:44):
more about that. Yes, yes, yes, being a retired military
disabled veteran, I'm just trying to do what I do.

Speaker 2 (13:52):
You know, well, we thank you for all you've done
for us. We really do thank you.

Speaker 3 (13:57):
Well.

Speaker 6 (13:58):
Yeah, Black Chamber of Commerce. Commerce is ind b c
C dot O r G. That's ind b c C
dot O r G for the Indie Black Chamber of Commerce.

Speaker 2 (14:12):
Is it Larry, Larry Williams, Larry, Larry, Larry Larry, Why
is your name escaping?

Speaker 4 (14:20):
Okay, but it's Indy b b C b c c
O b b C ind b c C Okay, I
got it dot dot org dot or okay, Yeah, I
just I just say that, yes and listen. I come
here every two months. Okay. I got a son with

(14:40):
stage four and fort Wayne, so I got excused to come.
You know. But he's a miracle. He's a miracle. You know.
He doesn't realize it, but you know I remind him.
Uh So everything that y'all y'all doing and stuff like that. Uh,
I'm hoping that one day we can work together. Yeah,

(15:06):
you work together, you know.

Speaker 2 (15:08):
So it is Larry. I'm sorry that the head is
Larry Williams. I was Why do I second guess myself,
Larry Williams. Larry Williams, he's the executive director of the
Indie Black Chamber of Commerce. And then Eric, thank you
for giving that that website. But yeah, they're very active.
I'm really impressed with them. They do a good job.
You really do well.

Speaker 4 (15:29):
I'm going to try to if I can't. If I
got to spend money, you know where I want to
spend it.

Speaker 2 (15:35):
First, understood, understood? Yeah, alrighty, well, thank you, and again
we thank you for all you've done for our country
and continued prayers for you and your family.

Speaker 4 (15:47):
Hey, hey, thank you.

Speaker 2 (15:49):
Thank you. Indeed. Yeah, Larry Williams, he's been on the
Indie Black Chamber, he's been on the show a couple
of times. And uh, it's INDYBCC dot org, right, Indie
b c C. Yeah, that's it, Indy ndb CC dot org,
Indie Black Chamber. Okay, we got it, Manny, go ahead.

Speaker 10 (16:09):
How are you, hey, Tina?

Speaker 9 (16:13):
How you doing do it?

Speaker 2 (16:14):
Okay?

Speaker 9 (16:15):
Hey, I just called I just call a uh uh
uh uh to wish you and your family, uh you
and Eric and uh and James and all the rest
of the affiliates, happy, thankgiving.

Speaker 2 (16:30):
Well, thank you. What the same to you, the very
same to you. Indeed, James, I do believe it's going
to be with us tomorrow, I think, and.

Speaker 9 (16:38):
Uh yeah, I try to. I called on Friday, but
I got busy so I couldn't stay on the line
he was on.

Speaker 2 (16:46):
I most certainly will. So are you going to be
here or out of town?

Speaker 9 (16:50):
No, no, I'll be I'll be here relaxing, eating, getting cool,
watching football.

Speaker 2 (16:57):
They've got some good football games on from what I
understand this year.

Speaker 9 (17:02):
Basketball too.

Speaker 7 (17:03):
How you played for.

Speaker 2 (17:05):
Uh football on Friday Friday?

Speaker 9 (17:11):
But uh, but yeah, they got some good basketball too.

Speaker 2 (17:16):
Well. And then the weather may change. James will tell
us about that. But my understanding is the weather may change,
uh you know, Thanksgiving and beyond, so we might all
be in.

Speaker 9 (17:26):
Be in the twenties. I think we have some flurries.

Speaker 2 (17:28):
I think, and then some other parts of the state snow,
actual snow.

Speaker 9 (17:33):
Yeah, actual snow.

Speaker 2 (17:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 9 (17:35):
I want to I want to say something too. I
want to piggyback on what he was talking about about
the health care. I'm gonna tell you what I've been
dealing with.

Speaker 4 (17:41):
Is that now, like when.

Speaker 9 (17:43):
You like with with the health care and everything, you know,
oftends on what your assurance and stuff is. They want
you not only to pay your co pay, but they
want you to pay. You almost have to bill a
front before they even see they give you estimated estimate
of what your meal bike might be. It's almost like

(18:04):
it's so it's almost like if you want to be seen,
you ain't got no choice but to pay something. It's
like they putting a headtubs on you because I mean,
you know, I mean and and like I said, I'm
been forced to not only I've been going to do
a little health situation, sorry, to have to pay on it,
you know, to you know, make arrangements and stuff like that,
because like I said, I'm trying to keep my credit

(18:26):
and stuff intact. And if not, it goes on your
creditor for and stuff. If you don't play these hospital bills,
that's true. I'm just wanting everybody, what what what what?
What's what's coming down the pike. I don't know if
anybody else has been dealing will or not, so I'm
just kind of just giving everybody a heads up.

Speaker 2 (18:40):
All right, all right, Mannie, thank you very much. I
appreciate that, and thank you, thank you. You know, I
just went back to I went to the doctor, uh
for an you know, a regular the doctor I go
to once a year, and I hit my labs and
all that other stuff and insurance, uh, you know when
you for your labs. They you know, they did ask

(19:02):
me do you want to they you know, they told
me what my insurance paid right there upfront, and then
they said do you want to pay now or do
you want to want us to bill you? But if
you paid, then they didn't take it was something they
didn't take. I can't remember cash or I don't even know,
but I just told him, well, go ahead, just bail me.
Then okay, we'll bill you. But they didn't do. And

(19:22):
then you know, when I went to see you know
my doctor, he's he's a specialist, and I just paid
my regular copay and that was fine. So I'm gonna,
as they say, touch would knock on some wed. I
haven't had any issues so far, but I do certainly
empathize with those who do because I have been there.

(19:43):
Believe you me. I'm just saying recently, no issues, labs, doctor,
visit specialist, doctor, you know, all that, All that went well.
But Manny offers a good word of caution is to
be prepared when you do go, because it might it
might be something different. So uh three, one, seven, zero, thirteen, ten,

(20:04):
let's go to Jeff. Jeff, go ahead, how.

Speaker 10 (20:06):
Are you hey, Gena? Or tell you guys, doing.

Speaker 2 (20:10):
Doing well, doing good, doing good on a rainy day.

Speaker 10 (20:14):
I'll tell you what you got?

Speaker 4 (20:15):
Amazon?

Speaker 10 (20:16):
You got Target and.

Speaker 2 (20:17):
HOMEEOP home depot states in mixed, don't they? I mean
I remember from where Yep, they're they're perennial offenders.

Speaker 10 (20:27):
Yeah, you could throw another one in there too.

Speaker 2 (20:29):
That Campbell's soup Campbell's suit.

Speaker 10 (20:33):
Oh uh well, I got two stores. Campbell suit was there,
the vice president Campbell suit was over her, saying that
the food they serving, the camp they put in the
grocery store is for basically sub humans. H is that
he said it's poor people?

Speaker 2 (20:52):
You heard about that.

Speaker 3 (20:52):
I heard a little bit about that. Yes I did, Yeah,
I did not.

Speaker 10 (20:56):
Yeah, there's been an audio tape and all that. He
basically get old car.

Speaker 2 (21:00):
They're gonna give him his eighty million dollar bonus and
then fire him.

Speaker 4 (21:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 10 (21:04):
He called Indian people people from Africa savages.

Speaker 2 (21:07):
Oh well, I won't be anymore.

Speaker 10 (21:12):
You know, basically say basically saying that people that buy
campbellsuit or basically comb of the earth.

Speaker 2 (21:19):
He's the CEO.

Speaker 6 (21:20):
I'm not sure it wasn't he let me look, it
was something that was picked up.

Speaker 3 (21:26):
I think in the conversation it was it was recorded
saying publicly. He want to be public.

Speaker 10 (21:33):
But yeah, yeah, so it's not a not a good
day for Campbell soup. You know, I'm not much acount.
I'm to make my own. And also, did you hear
this stow up? But Erica than hurt it because he's
up on the top of things. About these two young
white kids, they're twenty two to twenty one. They were
going to cruise homeless people to invade an island off
the off of Haiti. They don't kill all the black

(21:56):
men and enslave all the black women and children and
sex a.

Speaker 3 (22:02):
Hmmm, And Jeff, I missed that, That's what I missed.

Speaker 10 (22:06):
Yeah, yeah, two young white men out of the Dallas,
Texas area, Dallas Fort Worth areas. They're in ceto custody. Now,
there's two young white boys. They're twenty one years old,
twenty two, and they were going to go to d
C recruit a bunch of homeless people and they just
island kill up all the men, and you know, basically

(22:28):
had their little slave utopia and they were going to
sex traffic all the women and children and all this.

Speaker 2 (22:34):
And who were the customers going to be? Or what
was their market going to be?

Speaker 10 (22:38):
Great question? Probably maga, Probably, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (22:43):
Well, yeah, I don't know. I'm just wondering. You know,
who who would?

Speaker 10 (22:48):
Yeah, I'm yeah. You know, since this animal, this orange
animal bit in the white there's already scumback races that
come out of the cross from under Rock. It's a
good thing. Now we know who they are. But yeah,
if you look it up and you lot this story
by these two young white boys and they were going
to recruit their in federal custody. Now they were voted

(23:09):
DC armhomeless people and they island off the coast of Haiti.

Speaker 2 (23:16):
Unbelievable.

Speaker 3 (23:18):
I did Campbell's too, Oh you did?

Speaker 2 (23:21):
Okay?

Speaker 10 (23:22):
Yeah, well you found it.

Speaker 3 (23:24):
Yeah, it's from CBS News.

Speaker 6 (23:26):
A lawsuit filed in Michigan last week alleges that a
Campbell's Soup company executive made offensive comments about Indian workers
and said the company's products were for quote poor people
end quote during a conversation with the former employees. So
it wasn't supposed to be public, but it's got.

Speaker 10 (23:46):
Well guess what. Yeah, well, I'm just telling you we
go up against these older guards and these bourgeoise z
type people, and I'm just saying, I'm not you know,
you know me, Tina and Eric, I'm not an advocate profile,
but this is the kind of stuff that happened in
France and Russia. We know what happened in France and Russia, right,
they had revolutions. So I'm just saying, I'm just you know,

(24:08):
there was a young lady named Marie Ancheline. You know,
she made that famous comment. Didn't will her? Did it? Tina?

Speaker 2 (24:16):
Let them eat cake?

Speaker 10 (24:18):
Let me meet Ca?

Speaker 2 (24:20):
Yeah yeah, yeah. The subjects, the subjects are dying, The
subjects are hungry, they have no more bread. Then let
them they have, you know.

Speaker 10 (24:33):
And anyway, this Tina and there. You know, it's funny
that people with four teeths in their mouth are going
to vote with people of four yachts. Make it make
sense to me, people with four teeths in their mouth
are going to vote for people got four yachts. M M, yes, right,
I'm talking to you Greenwood and Martinsville and Illwooding. I'm
talking to.

Speaker 4 (24:53):
All of you.

Speaker 11 (24:53):
All you say, am yeah, yeah, yeah, but but checked
this door about these two young white boys and they're
trying to raise an army to overthrow a black island.

Speaker 10 (25:03):
You know, I mean it would have had their hands
full anyway, because those Haitian games are pretty rough.

Speaker 2 (25:10):
So yeah, never never failed, you know. And thank you, Jeff,
Thank you, Jeff. You know Eric, what I was saying,
I have a Yeah, I scour a lot and look
through a lot and something and then people, a lot
of people send me stuff. I mean, I'm constantly getting

(25:31):
things all night long. Although I do turn my I
turn my what you call it off, my volume down,
not down, not off, it down. Yeah, I turn it
down when I when I'm asleep, because if I'm awake
and I hear some notification, I'm like, well, I mean,
if I'm asleep and I a notification wakes me up,
so I just turn it down. But there are certain

(25:53):
ones now that I've learned that I think are automatically
time to hit at a certain point in time. One
of them is almost kind of like an alarm for me.
Sister Fran, Thank you very much. Sister Fran's message of
the day, her her scripture of the day, along with
the nice song. She always accompanies it with the yeah yeah,

(26:16):
she's real musical. She leads our choir many times prais team.
But she sends out hers. I think around hers hits
every morning about six, between six and six fifteen. So
if I hear between six and six fifteen, and I'm oh,
that's sister friend, I know who that is. But yeah,
oh yeah, it's always good morning. Oh yeah, she's she's faithful,

(26:37):
she is faithal We love sister Friend. But but that
that's one that I know. You know, there's certain ones
that you put in categories that you know, uh, you
know they're gonna come. And and hers is right almost
right on time daily every day. So she may have
an auto program too, like you can do You can
do that.

Speaker 3 (26:56):
Certainly, can you can have an auto program.

Speaker 2 (26:57):
You have an auto program to hit and but but
some of them that aren't on you know, that aren't
in my regular wheelhouse. I just don't always get And
but it's.

Speaker 3 (27:06):
Easy to miss stories because there's so many things, oh.

Speaker 2 (27:09):
My goodness appening, too many things. Can't get them all
in can't get them all in. But such as it is,
we still have doctor Hayes coming up. Uh and immediately
coming up right after the break, we're gonna be talking
with someone who has some good advice as to what
to do after you eat your big old meal. I

(27:33):
know you sit on the couch as one thing, or
take a walk with it, but what's what's one of
the better things to do and what are the opportunities
to do? So we'll find out that and more.

Speaker 1 (27:42):
Right after this, let's get back to the conversation. It's
Community Connection with Tina Cosby, brought to you by Child Advocates,

(28:05):
a champion for justice, opportunity and well being for children
on Praise Am thirteen ten ninety five point one FM.

Speaker 2 (28:13):
And we're back with Community Connection, Eric. I just realized this,
this is this is going to be originating from where
you hang out. Yeah, the let me see, let me
get it right, wobble after you gobble walk toward wellness
event and what is that? Well, our next guest, Miss

(28:38):
Vicky Gladdney with Safe Space through Fitness, Inc. Is here
to tell us more about it. Mss Gladdeney, Welcome, how
are you today?

Speaker 12 (28:46):
I'm well Tina, how are you. I hope you guys
can hear me. Thank you for having me on.

Speaker 2 (28:50):
Oh we can hear you. We can hear as long
can you hear us?

Speaker 12 (28:54):
I can I owe you?

Speaker 2 (28:55):
Okay, doki, okay, DOOKI. So, first of all, welcome, glad
to have you here with us. So tell tell us
about uh I guess this is the third annual one, Eric?

Speaker 13 (29:06):
Is that correct?

Speaker 3 (29:07):
Third annual?

Speaker 2 (29:08):
Yeah? So, so tell us about the event.

Speaker 12 (29:11):
Yes, so it is the third annual wobble after you gobble.
It's exactly what it sounds like. We're gonna be gobbling
on Thanksgiving and we need to wobble or walk towards
wellness on Saturday, November twenty ninth, at twelve noon. We'll
be starting at twenty two oh three. Is that the
right twenty two oh three, North Columbia at Overcoming Church?

Speaker 5 (29:34):
Eric?

Speaker 12 (29:36):
Is that is that right is our lun spot, and
we're gonna walk about a total of two point four
mouths over to the Frank and Judy O ban in
soccer field along the mon On Trail. And that it's
a short walk. It lasts a little under an hour,
so just walking in the brisk air which is really
good for the immune system, So boosting the immune system

(29:57):
and the circulation, and it's good for your mood. Actually,
science has shown that walking and brisk air is good
for your mood. So I'm hoping that that dragging sleeping
turkey we can walk that out a couple of days
after Thanksgiving.

Speaker 2 (30:12):
You know, it always puts me in a good mood
if it's cold outside and walking fast because it's like,
oh I can't wait. Yeah, it feels good to get in,
so you get that, get that walk in. So so,
how are we doing miss gladdening in terms of our
health's wellness, getting enough exercise, walking enough to how are
we is a community doing?

Speaker 12 (30:34):
Absolutely? I think now people are, especially post pandemic people
are a little bit more attentive to their health and
wellness now. I think just kind of that host here,
and that whole phenomenon has people really tapping into not
only their physical well being, but their mental, emotional, even

(30:55):
their spiritual wellbeing. And it's really just all encompassing. And
so that's what we really promote through safe space, through fitness.
I know our pastor thus far, the pastor of Overcoming Church,
that's really what he's been driving home through ministry. It's
just a total well being emotionally, spiritually, even financially. And

(31:15):
I just find that when we get a little bit
more disciplined, I think the desire is their tina. I
think when people pap into a deeper level a sense
of well being, that's when the discipline comes out. I
think discipline is not something that's it really is something.
Even for me as a certified personal trainer, I like

(31:35):
discipline right. Put it this way, I lack motivation, right,
And I think sometimes we're looking for motivation instead of
really tapping into our sense of discipline. But I do
believe that the will is turning for our community. I
think more people are really paying attention and they're learning
that through programs like this or activities or events like

(31:57):
Wobble after you Gobble that getting your body moving and
getting exercises a little bit more accessible.

Speaker 2 (32:04):
Can you explain? You mentioned COVID, and people are coming
in and I'm learning more and more and more about
the broad reach of COVID with so many of our
different guests. So what did COVID do to us or
maybe even for us, I don't know. Maybe people became
more aware of the need for exercise. But where do

(32:25):
you put COVID in there in terms of our walking
and staying fit.

Speaker 12 (32:31):
I think just because we were so closed up. Of
course I can't speak from a medical perspective. I can
just speak from my personal experience. I think that we
were so closed off to one another and that we're
learning the broad spectrum of fellowship when it comes to fitness.
What I found as a group trainer, so many people

(32:52):
were really interested in working into working out or getting
moving or doing physical activity together in groups. And the
same thing that we're going to be doing on Saturday
is walking together in a group. The whole purpose for
our walk, it's just a free community walk. It's promoting
health and connection and wellness, and especially during this time

(33:13):
during the holiday, which is kind of similar. I think
as far as like mood is concerned. We talked about mood.
The holidays can get us in a in a funk.
I know I've had that feeling. I can attest for
myself where we have, you know, their sense of loss
and people have gone through Greece same thing that was
happening during the pandemic. There was a lot of loss, right,
There's a lot of stuff even going on in our economy,

(33:37):
in the climate, right, the political climate, that's really just
a drag on the system.

Speaker 2 (33:43):
And one of.

Speaker 12 (33:44):
The things that I find as a trainer that most
people don't realize that rest and stress reduction is a
huge factor in how we stay healthy. Right, And so
we're not just trying to be fit where we're showing
muscular turn. We're trying to be fit. You know, it's
not just about the experior man. We're trying to get
well for the inner man as well as reduced chronic disease.

Speaker 2 (34:09):
Yeah. Yeah, and so so people, I guess you say
you're a group trainer, So I guess your answer to
this would be yeah, groups, So people do do better
when they exercise with groups or more than one person.

Speaker 12 (34:25):
Well, there's two parts to that, Okay, they starts a
personal journey. So I'm going to speak from both sides. Yes,
I think all of us do better with groups and
accountability partners.

Speaker 1 (34:38):
Right.

Speaker 12 (34:39):
We find friends in those groups fitness class, we find
sisterhood and brotherhood. And again, this whole thing around like
wabbloh after your gobble is the community and the connection
and the fellowship. And I think that's what happens in
the group. I do still believe though, that our personal
journeys are like snowflakes, right, no pun intended. Each one

(35:02):
is different, and so how we go about obtaining the
best versions of ourselves is very individual, and working with
a trainer or working individually sometimes we can tap into
a deeper sense of what we need on an individual basis.
But I do believe that there is a again, a

(35:23):
sense of motivation or a motivator in working with your
friends and your family and walking like on Saturday, what
we're gonna do from overcoming church, And there is a
contingency plan if the weather.

Speaker 2 (35:36):
I was going to say, is this Eric is not
is going to ask is this rain or shine? Because
a lot of these walks do go off rain or shine, snow, whatever. Yeah,
so the contingency is.

Speaker 7 (35:50):
So I did.

Speaker 12 (35:51):
It's funny you said that because right before I got
on the call, I sent an email to our engagement
team to let them know that there are other events
going on in city that are going to happen outside
right sleet or snow. So like we got to put
our big girl boots on right of you know, a
big person boots on and bundle up right, because you know,

(36:13):
wearing gloves, hats, sweaters, layers. But when we're moving our body,
we're burning energy, so that also keeps us warm. And
one of them, uh, the encouragements that I've been using
is like, listen, you guys don't have a problem going
to the outlet malls and walking outdoors. Black Friday sales

(36:33):
bundled up, so you can do this too. But Tina, yes,
we do have a contingency plan.

Speaker 2 (36:38):
Context context. It's all in content.

Speaker 12 (36:41):
Right, It's all in context, right and how you put it.
And so our contingency plan is to work alongside with
Douglas Park Family Center, and they welcome to open our
doors and we can walk the track inside. But I'm
really advocating for bundling up and walking outdoors, like if

(37:02):
you got to put on your snow boots, but don't
those you know, I don't have a pair of UG boots,
but I see everybody it seems like they're weather proof.
I don't know if they are, you know, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (37:15):
I don't know. Well, my daughter and the only reason
I know this is because she is. She was an
UGG nut for the longest. I mean, every pair of
ugs you could possibly ask for. But they're not unless
you get a certain kind. They're not weather friendly because
of the I don't have any well, the bad weather
I mean cold weather, yes, wet weather no, because you

(37:37):
have to get them cleaned or you have to do something.
She had some kind of cleaner or some kind of
and then she would wear something else. If it was
snowing or raining outside. She would not want to get
her ugs snowed. And all those of you who wear ugs,
I have never owned a pair of ugs. She's got
ug House shoes. I mean, I'm telling you, Oh my goodness,
they make little kids, so you don't. If there's money

(37:58):
to be made, ug makes it.

Speaker 5 (38:00):
You know.

Speaker 2 (38:01):
I haven't either. I'm sure your daughter is.

Speaker 8 (38:03):
I'm sure, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 12 (38:06):
But at the end of the day, they do have
weatherproof boots and shoes.

Speaker 2 (38:09):
Yeah, I think they do. I think they all have.

Speaker 12 (38:11):
I think even Uggs does.

Speaker 10 (38:13):
So.

Speaker 12 (38:13):
I don't have a pair of the traditional ones.

Speaker 2 (38:15):
Easy now, the standard traditional ones are not the best
for uh that that I did learn that much. But
I've never been compelled to buy a pair. Absolutely, I
would like, go ahead, go ahead.

Speaker 12 (38:29):
Man, I would like it. I'm sorry. I apologize I
would like to share one more thing too, for our
seniors or anybody who needs accommodation, whether we are at
Overcoming Church using our recreation center or at Douglas Park
inside at the track there, we also for people who

(38:49):
feel like they don't have the confidence or know that
they don't have the wherewithal to walk two point four
miles along the mona On Trail. We're gonna have some
activities or just some indoor activities prepared for those, and
especially for our seniors in the community and around the
neighborhood and even the community of Overcoming Church that want

(39:13):
to participate but cannot do the walk. So we're also
gonna do that, and we're gonna have snacks and some
hydration and some energy replenishment as well.

Speaker 2 (39:23):
Indeed, so how does one participate?

Speaker 10 (39:26):
Jokay?

Speaker 12 (39:27):
Absolutely so. Since I'm calling in and there's like no
visual link, the best way to find the link is
to go to Wellness Connections Wellness Connection Indi dot org
or Overcoming Church dot org and you can find the
links to the registration form on either one of those websites.

(39:50):
You can register as a group. So let's say you
want to bring your whole family that's visiting Indie after
the holidays. You don't have to do you know, seven
different registrations. You can just say I'm bringing seven, ten,
twelve guests, or you can register as an individual.

Speaker 2 (40:07):
And what's the cost.

Speaker 12 (40:10):
It's free. It is free. It is free. There's it
is free. It's just a community walk. We just want
to get everybody out, get that blood circulation going. Like
you said, most of us are sitting around still eating leftovers.
And I heard one of my one of my colleagues,
one of my colleagues, Faith. I don't want to mispronounce

(40:36):
her brand, but she was talking the other day and
she said, it's a hollow day, not a hollow weekend,
and not a hallow week, not a hollow month. It's
a holiday. So enjoy those goodies for the day and
put that stuff away and get back on track and
come out to wobble. After you gobble walk towards wellness

(41:00):
and will start at two two three, nor to Love
your Street at Overcoming Church at twelve New on this Saturday.

Speaker 3 (41:09):
Vicky also r s v P. Can you do you
can do that now? Can you?

Speaker 5 (41:14):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (41:14):
You can?

Speaker 12 (41:15):
You can r s v P now or I at
this point. I have opened it up for walk in
registration that we can just take your information on the spot,
just to make sure that people are not deterred by
needing to you know, follow up you are code or
go to a website. I do want to add that
if you want to join us, just come on and
we'll sign you up on the spot.

Speaker 3 (41:37):
And it's free.

Speaker 2 (41:38):
And it's free, yes, free, free to go out there
and freeze and get your get your walk on, get
your walk.

Speaker 1 (41:46):
You won't you will.

Speaker 12 (41:48):
We've done this three We've done this three times. You
won't free you know when it was cold.

Speaker 2 (41:52):
Yeah, I was gonna ask how I have passed uh
past walks gone? How have they gone?

Speaker 4 (41:58):
Well?

Speaker 12 (41:58):
I think this is the biggest one. And I'm very
proud of the response that we've gotten, the help that
we've gotten. And I also want to talk about that too.
Before I tell you, I'm going to answer that question.
But before I get off, I want to make sure
that I give a shout out to Wellness Connection Indy.
I did that overcoming Church say Space to Fitness, and
also Community Action of Greater Indianapolis as well. I want

(42:19):
to make sure that everybody that has played a part
get a shout out today on your show, thank you
so much for having us. But yeah, we started off
very small. Actually, the first walk had a few more heads.
I think about twelve individuals. It might have been a
little bit warmer. The following year it was colder, and
I think people were deterred by the coldes. But I've

(42:41):
been able to really advocate for you know, do you
guys remember when we were kids and you were outside
you had to go to research if it was like
nobody can like nobody thought about it, right, Yeah, it
didn't matter, didn't matter you may or may not have
had had your coat on. And the good thing about

(43:03):
the body, the body does remember childhood in all the
good ways. It's some of the bad ways too. But
we are able. We are we are We are absolutely
able to do this right. We can do all things
to Christ, even walk in the cold. But twenty four
miles forty five minutes.

Speaker 2 (43:23):
Yeah, and are we used to allow for it because
that's what our coats and hats and gloves and everything were.
You know, we would just allow for it and it
was really cold. You remember the hoods that you could
just the drawstring and you could tie it around if
it was really cold. You'd put a hat on and
then put your hood on and then tie that hood
at the base. Uh, to make sure that you absolutely

(43:43):
and you were fine. I had no problem with it.
And then did you.

Speaker 6 (43:49):
My best friends and I every winter rose ride their
bikes in the snow, down the hills and everything else.

Speaker 2 (43:55):
Seriously, how many times did you slide and fall.

Speaker 3 (43:57):
A number of times right back up and kept doing
it again?

Speaker 2 (44:01):
You kept going, oh well, I'm I remember it being
cold on Christmas Day and if you got your bikes
or your skateboards or whatever, it didn't matter. You could
not wait to get outside. You didn't notice the cold,
didn't notice at all. And I think when people get
together and start talking and walking and what have you,

(44:21):
it is a fun time and you forget the weather.
The weather main you know, unless the what is absolutely
blowing you down and sirens are going off or what
have you, you really don't think about it. I think
you really don't. And it is invigorating, It truly is.
It's refreshing. It's refreshing.

Speaker 12 (44:37):
That is the word inorating. And I'm glad you mentioned that, Eric,
because you guys, if you want to ride for there
are groups that you ride their bike in all weather. Right,
that's actually a good resis to ride in the snow
against the will. Howeverever you want to join us, we

(45:02):
have Vanessa Rogers sound back Indy. I think some of
them may show up in their kangooboo and then however
you want to get it done, get it done. If
you want to ride, you want to push, you want
to suit, whatever you want to do. It's all welcome.

Speaker 2 (45:19):
Yeah, indeed, ride one run walk right, Yeah, in all ages.
Everybody's welcome. Anybody that wants to come.

Speaker 12 (45:25):
And everybody's welcome.

Speaker 2 (45:26):
Yeah, absolutely absolutely. Okay, so one more time before we
have to let you go all of the the details
there you go.

Speaker 12 (45:33):
Okay, So this is Wobble after you gobble walk towards Wellness.
It's a community fellowship walk brought to you by Wellness
Connection and Overcoming Church on behalf of community actually Greater
Indianapolis and partnership with Safe Lace and Business. Saturday, November
twenty ninth at noon. Started at about noon at twenty

(45:55):
two oh three North Columbia Street, Overcoming Church. Unless we're
gonna to go with the contingency plan Plan B. But
it's close enough for us to communicate back and forth
and we'll know and be able to communicate with registrants.
It will take about fifty minutes and that's it. That
and warm fighter or warm cocoa afterwards, and then you're

(46:16):
off to spend the rest of your holiday and weekend
with your family and.

Speaker 2 (46:20):
Friends, cighter or coco that's nice.

Speaker 14 (46:23):
Yeah, I think.

Speaker 12 (46:24):
Yeah, we're gonna do some warming. We're gonna do some
warming treats, and then also some replenishing as well.

Speaker 2 (46:31):
So that's all right. Well, thank you for putting this
together every year and taking care of our community and
helping us get a little bit, a little bit healthier.
You know, what do you say? Wobble after you gobble.

Speaker 12 (46:44):
That's good, wobble after you goble, walk forward? Wellness, Thank you,
thank you, Thank you.

Speaker 8 (46:49):
Is glad.

Speaker 2 (46:50):
We appreciate it. Thank you.

Speaker 9 (46:51):
So. Uh.

Speaker 2 (46:52):
The big question is Eric, are you going to be there?

Speaker 10 (46:55):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (47:00):
Are you? Are you gonna try to be There're you
gonna try.

Speaker 8 (47:01):
To be there?

Speaker 3 (47:02):
Okay, we gotta talk about wife and see what the plans.
That's the whole thing.

Speaker 2 (47:06):
So yeah, I get it.

Speaker 3 (47:07):
A few things we have to get in place if
we do.

Speaker 2 (47:09):
Yeah, I get and you know that. That's the answer
I have for So there's so many things that go
on that come through here that we we try to
get to. We really do. And I say that in
all sincerity. It's just that, you know, we we try.
Put it that way. We try. But that sounds like
a lot of fun, sounds like a lot of yeah. Yeah.

(47:30):
The I've never been one much to stuff myself with
the head, have you? Are you that?

Speaker 4 (47:36):
No?

Speaker 3 (47:36):
Not now?

Speaker 6 (47:37):
When I was twenty well not, well I have two plates,
but not anymore, not anymore.

Speaker 2 (47:44):
That you did the first round and then you did
the second.

Speaker 3 (47:47):
But now it's like just a little bit and that's there.

Speaker 2 (47:49):
You go the same here. Hey, we'll be back. We
got a lot more community Connection coming up for you
right after.

Speaker 1 (47:55):
This WTOCAM W two three six c are Indianapolis, discussing
the issues that matter to you and keeping you informed
with what's happening in and around Indy. It's Community Connection

(48:17):
with Tina Cosby, brought to you by Child Advocates, a
champion for justice, opportunity and well being for children on
Praise AM thirteen ten ninety five point one FM.

Speaker 2 (48:29):
And we are back with Community Connection, heading into our
second hour, Eric, you know what Ms Gladdeney made me
want to go out there and run around. Oh yeah,
because it's good weather.

Speaker 5 (48:41):
The weather's pretty.

Speaker 3 (48:42):
Even if it's not.

Speaker 6 (48:43):
Nice, you can still go into the community center there
and it's running track there to the apartments.

Speaker 2 (48:49):
Indeed, indeed, indeed, well you know, you know who's back
with us. One of our regulars, doctor Denise Hayes. And
she is glowing because she just got off a cruise.

Speaker 5 (49:03):
Yes, I did mind.

Speaker 2 (49:05):
Yeah, how was it was?

Speaker 5 (49:08):
It was wonderful.

Speaker 14 (49:09):
Yeah, the best part about it was there were it
was a family event. Ohkay, of my nieces just retired
and so we were celebrating with her and there.

Speaker 2 (49:21):
Was sixteen of us and so oh that's kind of
like a family reunion almost.

Speaker 14 (49:25):
Well, it was a mini one and we all got along.

Speaker 2 (49:28):
Yeah, because the ship is big.

Speaker 5 (49:32):
So you could pick and choose. But it was it
was fabulous.

Speaker 2 (49:36):
Where'd you sail on it?

Speaker 14 (49:37):
We left out of Miami and we went to the Dominican.

Speaker 5 (49:42):
Republic, which I had never been to. And the Caribbean
water is a warm and the beaches.

Speaker 2 (49:49):
Gorgeous, clean clean. You can see all the way. I mean,
it's just beautiful yeah.

Speaker 14 (49:53):
And then we went to Saint Thomas and US Virgin Islands,
and then territory went to the British Vergin Islands. And
that was one of I didn't get off the boat.
I just stayed on this ship.

Speaker 2 (50:07):
And I hate to ask you this. Were there any
problems whatsoever with like ice or immigrants, I mean customs?
I know you have to clear customs well or no?
Did you go to all us to.

Speaker 5 (50:20):
The British Virgin Islands?

Speaker 2 (50:22):
Okay?

Speaker 14 (50:22):
So what what would happen is each time we got
off when we got back home, we had to show
a photo ID. Okay, but no, there was no ice,
so of course the St. Thomas's territory, so.

Speaker 5 (50:38):
But we always had to show it.

Speaker 14 (50:39):
When we were in the British Virgin Islands, we did
have to show our passport coming back, but it was
and when we got back to Miami we went through customs.

Speaker 5 (50:50):
But it was just very simple.

Speaker 2 (50:52):
So, coming as a psychologist from a professional standpoint, would
you recommend a cruise?

Speaker 3 (51:00):
A good question.

Speaker 5 (51:03):
If I could write you a prescription, I'll make a.

Speaker 2 (51:07):
Pad for you.

Speaker 8 (51:08):
Here you go.

Speaker 5 (51:11):
It's not for everybody. For me, water is really healing.

Speaker 14 (51:15):
I actually spoke with someone yesterday that had had h
And many people, of course have had losses related to
water tragedies, and so that might not be as calming
for them.

Speaker 5 (51:27):
But I grew up my father loved.

Speaker 14 (51:29):
A fish and I would sit with him, and so
I just learned to appreciate the water.

Speaker 2 (51:34):
Okay, Okay, well it certainly appreciated you. I'm telling you.

Speaker 8 (51:37):
It looks good.

Speaker 5 (51:38):
I didn't leave anything.

Speaker 2 (51:40):
Indeed. Indeed, so we have a really good show planned
for as we always do with you, doctor Hayes. And also,
as always with you, Doctor Hayes, you bring guests. So
would you like to introduce your panel to us?

Speaker 7 (51:54):
Please?

Speaker 14 (51:54):
Yes, yes, I'm so excited to have the lovely Miss
Sharon Saunder's rejoice us from Family and Community.

Speaker 2 (52:03):
Partners where the welcome back Dwight.

Speaker 5 (52:07):
Holland is the CEO.

Speaker 14 (52:09):
And today we have a new doctoral student coming from
Purdue Northwest, missus Leanna.

Speaker 5 (52:19):
Deverson.

Speaker 2 (52:20):
Is that correct, Steverson?

Speaker 5 (52:24):
She is?

Speaker 14 (52:24):
This is your first semester, yes, and so I thought
having that prospective of why.

Speaker 5 (52:31):
She came into the mental health and what the training.

Speaker 2 (52:34):
Is like, how how far into the next semester?

Speaker 5 (52:39):
First?

Speaker 8 (52:39):
Yeah, we're super new.

Speaker 9 (52:40):
Yeah.

Speaker 15 (52:41):
First semester. I'll be finished with my first semester on
December fifteenth, so we're like super fresh.

Speaker 2 (52:48):
Super fresh.

Speaker 8 (52:49):
Yeah, we'll take it. Take it.

Speaker 14 (52:52):
And what I wanted to talk about today, we've talked
about stigma with mental health, and we we've really worked
on some of the stereotypes.

Speaker 5 (53:02):
And concerns people have.

Speaker 14 (53:04):
So we've addressed spirituality because many, you know, traditionally many
black people that are religious had heard that you couldn't
be religious and seek mental health. And I think we've
had a lot of conversations around that and understanding that
you can have both.

Speaker 5 (53:24):
And we've even had clergy talk about speaking.

Speaker 2 (53:26):
So it's not a crisis in faith, it's it's not separate,
completely separate.

Speaker 14 (53:30):
Actually enhancing your spirituality because you're taking care of your body, mind.

Speaker 5 (53:35):
And spirit.

Speaker 14 (53:37):
And so we've we've addressed that and so today what
we're going to talk about is what happens when you
go into the therapy room.

Speaker 5 (53:46):
So you know, you have the stereotypes. What was that ground.

Speaker 2 (53:55):
I'm just saying when that door closed, Yes, And one
of the stereotypes is that you get on this couch
and you lay down and you spell your guts and
you're like, Okay, not always that way.

Speaker 5 (54:10):
It's it's never that way anymore.

Speaker 14 (54:13):
That was one vision, and that's a very Eurocentric perspective.

Speaker 5 (54:18):
It comes from Sigmund Freud.

Speaker 2 (54:20):
I was going to say, where does that emanate from?

Speaker 14 (54:22):
And I think that is what he did, and there
are psycho and analysts that may do that. That would
be the theory that they use, maybe not laying on
the couch, but just sitting and listening and letting people talk.
And there's you know, there's rationale behind that. But I

(54:44):
think what's helpful for our audience to understand is that
when you have people of African descent and the African diaspora,
we bring our culture into the therapy arena. And so
I thought it'd be helpful to hear or how three
different people, how someone is being trained and she has

(55:05):
a lot of support and mentoring by African American professors
and psychologists, and to hear how we do it, and
so that you can get an idea of what it's
really like. You know, like if you're talking about what
happens when you go get a flu shot, people know
how to talk about that, and when you fly, people

(55:29):
talk about that, and if you are having chemotherapy. People
talk about the details of that, and you want to
hear it from people that actually know. So we're going
to talk about it today from a first hand experience.

Speaker 5 (55:44):
And I'm also willing to talk about my own.

Speaker 14 (55:46):
Experience of what happens when I go to therapy, because
I would never go to a therapist that doesn't have
their own therapist.

Speaker 2 (55:53):
So exactly, I've heard that that's the that's the barometer
right there, that if your therapist isn't in the therapy,
might want to think about getting somebody else.

Speaker 5 (56:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 14 (56:03):
Yeah, you don't want somebody that's in crisis necessarily, but
someone who is open to it and uses it.

Speaker 5 (56:12):
When they need to.

Speaker 14 (56:13):
Yeah, So that's what we're talking about today, what's behind
the door. And I was thinking this morning about how
what we hear about therapy and music and whatnot, and
so I kind of reflected upon an old song from
the Beatles, and their song was help, I need somebody help,

(56:34):
not just anybody help, you know, I need someone help.

Speaker 5 (56:38):
And so maybe they.

Speaker 14 (56:39):
Were talking about friends, and of course talking to the community,
talking to your friends, it's okay to say I need help,
but also you want someone that's skilled and trained and
can be helpful because sometimes our friends want to be helpful,
but they might not know the right things to say,
and so having professionals who are not perfect but do

(57:02):
have the training could be more helpful at times.

Speaker 2 (57:06):
So do people once the door shuts and you sit down,
And you know, I had a friend that was telling
I was laughing, you, just telling me that it stressed
her out which chair to sit in because she was
not sure what that was going to mean. Yes, everything's
going to mean something, you know, So if I sit
over here to the right, or if I sit to
the left, what are they going to think? And almost

(57:29):
treated the therapy session or the therapist as kind of
somebody sitting there with the crystal ball right there in
front and just you know, okay, tell me, tell me,
you tell me, and became really frustrated when they figured
out that the therapist wasn't telling them anything that they

(57:50):
had to kind of roll up their sleeves and go
to work. And so, I mean, it was really insightful
what they were sharing with me, but I was thinking
which chair to sit in? I mean, but but it's
I think the point she was making was it was
very intimidating once the door is shut, because what do you?

Speaker 8 (58:08):
What do I do?

Speaker 9 (58:09):
Now?

Speaker 2 (58:10):
What do I do?

Speaker 5 (58:11):
Mm hmmm.

Speaker 9 (58:12):
So I like that.

Speaker 8 (58:15):
I like how she spoke of that metaphor.

Speaker 16 (58:17):
And coming into that space of it sounded like she
needed direction and she had to come in there and
make choices and decisions, and that might have been where
she was struggling at you know.

Speaker 13 (58:32):
That's that's good, that's interesting.

Speaker 8 (58:35):
And how do you support that as a therapist.

Speaker 2 (58:39):
When somebody's pulling at you, like, you tell me what's
wrong so I can go yeah, you know, it's kind
of like going to you know, the story. Okay, give
it to me, let's go.

Speaker 16 (58:47):
So what I like to encourage and remind them that,
you know, you're the expert of you. You're the expert,
you know you better than anything anyone in this space,
but there are some barriers. They're stopping you from getting
to know you.

Speaker 2 (59:04):
I was gonna say, do people really know themselves? You
know I or have a sense of self all the time?
Because my thought would be sometimes they don't, I guess,
totally unaware where they say read the room, you know,
yeah right, don't you get it?

Speaker 4 (59:19):
Yeah?

Speaker 8 (59:21):
Yeah?

Speaker 16 (59:21):
But I would say I think there's like a two
way street with that, like there's a sense of you,
you know you, but there's also like there's blockages.

Speaker 13 (59:30):
Not allowing you to fear denial.

Speaker 16 (59:34):
And as a therapist in that room, in that space,
I feel it's my responsibility to at least assist you
walk with you on this journey and letting them know
I'm not in front, m but I'm right here, I'm
next to you.

Speaker 5 (59:51):
I would say that.

Speaker 14 (59:54):
One of my experiences is that when people come, they've
been thinking about it off and on for some time,
and they're really kind of built up their anxiety for
the first time. And so sometimes when they want to
begin talking about trauma and pain and things like that,

(01:00:17):
I really try to slow them down and may even
have them do some breathing exercises and talk about that
this is not meant to be surgery with no anesthesia.
It's not supposed to be like that, and so we

(01:00:37):
talk about that this is a shared experience. I do
have some training, and I'm here to help them navigate
in the way that they want to and I will
give them help so that they.

Speaker 5 (01:00:51):
Can manage it.

Speaker 14 (01:00:52):
And so when they leave the office they don't feel
completely raw. They may be tearful or reflected, but we tried,
We tried to do some breathing exercises, reducing some anxiety,
talk about what it was like, what would they like
to do next, and so it's a very much shared experience.

Speaker 5 (01:01:15):
Much.

Speaker 9 (01:01:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 15 (01:01:16):
Also I also think like coming from like someone who
was getting ready to enter into the field. I think
sometimes a misconception people have with psychologists and therapy is
that like you come in, like your friend was saying,
She's like, I didn't know what chair to sit in,
because you think, like we're judging you. Girl, don't matter
where you sit, wherever you feel comfortable. This is about

(01:01:37):
it's about you to get more into you.

Speaker 2 (01:01:41):
But what do you deduce from the fact that there
was stress in choosing a chair.

Speaker 15 (01:01:45):
I think it's again the perception that you think that.

Speaker 2 (01:01:48):
What you as a therapist, oh me as what do
you do? You just let I mean, yeah, that's what
I'm saying, how do you as a therapist?

Speaker 15 (01:01:56):
I would agree, like you're having some sort of like
you're looking for somebody to tell you, like not like
necessarily what to do, but like how to do things
like even fin.

Speaker 2 (01:02:06):
Maybe a starting point, a starting point in your right
in your journey.

Speaker 15 (01:02:10):
But then it's it's even like what doctor Hayes was saying,
it is like you came in wanting to know more
about yourself, so you were already thinking about, you know,
how can like there's something that's going on in your
life that maybe you're not happy.

Speaker 5 (01:02:24):
With that you know you need help with.

Speaker 15 (01:02:27):
So now you're looking for someone who's a professional to
help you navigate that, because it's it can be hard,
like when you're doing like that inner work, like I
tell my sisters, even like when I'm journaling, I'm talking
to myself like things that I think about, it's like
the deeper you go into yourself, sometimes you're gonna unpack
things that are really hard that you can't always tell
your family or your friends, and you need someone who

(01:02:49):
has a little bit more like skill to help you,
like I said, navigate those choppy waters.

Speaker 5 (01:02:56):
So I think that.

Speaker 15 (01:02:57):
Something that I think about is like when I'm thinking
about the kind of sech colleges that I want to be,
is someone that can create a safe space for us
to dive into that. And like doctor Hayes was saying,
you might leave a session feeling a little bit like
you know, raw, like she was saying, But that's I
think that's a part of the journey of healing yourself

(01:03:18):
in whatever way that might look. I think that's a
part of it. Like you can't go into something, especially
when if you're dealing with like like heavy trauma, that's
a lot to unpeck and like process. So I think
it's allowing yourself the grace and the time of whatever
that might look like, is what your therapist is there

(01:03:38):
to help you go through. I think he did a
great job of talking about like we're with you in
the journey. I'm next to you so that when things
get hard, you can lean on me and we can
give you tools to cope and handle and manage just life.
So I think like that is what I like to
think of when I'm thinking about the kind of therapists
I want to be, or even looking for a therapist

(01:04:00):
for myself. It is someone who can help me along
that journey.

Speaker 2 (01:04:04):
You can get there sooner rather than later with I
guess it all depends on the client, right, yes, because
some you can get there pretty quickly. Some you just
you're you know, it's gonna be a while. You're like,
it's gonna be a minute.

Speaker 8 (01:04:16):
You can almost tail and see.

Speaker 16 (01:04:20):
Okay, yeah, like okay, I'm we're gonna go at your pace.
I see what type of pace we're gonna be traveling here.
And then you see the ones who those are the
ones who just really just they regurgitate, right, And those
are the ones that they're ready.

Speaker 8 (01:04:37):
They've been holding it in.

Speaker 16 (01:04:38):
They're just ready to spill all their guts, whether it's
good things, bad things, curious things, just whatever's floating.

Speaker 8 (01:04:46):
In their minds.

Speaker 16 (01:04:47):
They've been just waiting for the opportunity to find someone
that's in a safe space where they can just unload.

Speaker 13 (01:04:54):
And I find those ones. Are those individuals.

Speaker 16 (01:05:01):
They might even be in a maintenance phase, meaning meaning
they have they not n they haven't necessarily experienced like trauma.
We don't all not everybody who goes to therapy has
experienced trauma. They just maybe have not had the life
experienced tools to understand what life's about. Generations. I mean,

(01:05:26):
we life changes, the world has changed. It looks different
from when I was thirteen fourteen to these thirteen fourteen.

Speaker 8 (01:05:33):
Year olds now.

Speaker 16 (01:05:34):
So they're just looking for someone where they can just
kind of find a trusting, safe space that this individual
is gonna give them the information or the tools or
perspectives to help get them to the next part of
their life journey.

Speaker 5 (01:05:50):
M Another thing I'd.

Speaker 14 (01:05:54):
Like to to add is sometimes people don't really know,
uh what the rule are around therapy, like confidentiality, and
so I usually spend some time at the beginning of
the session talking about what confidentiality means.

Speaker 5 (01:06:10):
It's a legal term.

Speaker 14 (01:06:11):
It's not the same as private It's not the same
as telling your friend the secret, and then the friend says,
I'm not going to tell anybody, but then they tell
their partner, and then the partner tells another partner. So
the rules are very the laws and ethics are very
clear that not only do we not tell if somebody

(01:06:35):
is in therapy with us, we can't tell if they're
not in therapy. So we cannot confirm or deny that
someone is in therapy.

Speaker 5 (01:06:45):
So that's important. It means that really the only.

Speaker 14 (01:06:52):
Time that that would be different is if someone was
talking about child abuse that's currently happening. Law and ethics,
so the law is the law, and the ethics are
also important to us.

Speaker 5 (01:07:10):
And sometimes there's.

Speaker 14 (01:07:13):
Gray area, and so for psychologists that would be something
where we would consult with other psychologists about the way
to go. But there's no question about if child abuse
is occurring to someone under eighteen that's currently happening, not
in the past, but it's currently happening, then we are

(01:07:34):
mandatory reporters and we talk about this at least I
do with my clients at the beginning of every session,
no matter what they're coming with, even if I don't
think that's coming up, and if it never comes up,
it's still information, and so that if something comes up,
then I'm not betraying them. It's like, remember, we talked
about this, so let's come up with a plan on

(01:07:57):
how to keep that minor safe. And so that's really important.
And also for adults that are compromised, so someone who
cannot advocate for themselves due to a medical reason or
something like that, or nursing homes or all that kind
of stuff. So that also is a protective part. And

(01:08:19):
then another I think concern people have is what if
I say, I'm having thoughts of suicide, are the police
gonna come and arrest me and put me in the hospital.
And so I go into a lot of details, and
I'm sure sharing does as well, in terms of what
the difference is between having a thought, which we call ideation,

(01:08:43):
it's just the technical term, versus having a plan. So
I would imagine almost all of us at some time
have gone I don't know if I can keep going. Now,
that doesn't mean you're having a thought of suicide, but
you might you might be getting close. But having a
plan is when you are thinking of, here's what I

(01:09:05):
think I'm going to end this, and this might be
how I do it, and maybe they get whatever that
method is going to be, and they might even think
about when they're going to do it. And so that
is where we want to make sure that we keep
that person safe.

Speaker 2 (01:09:21):
And so or does that intersect with the confidentiality.

Speaker 14 (01:09:25):
So that's at the beginning of the conversation. Just like
the child abuse, we have this conversation at the beginning,
So same conversation, that same discussion.

Speaker 2 (01:09:34):
If there is realistic risk that they could be harming themselves,
then the confidentiality.

Speaker 5 (01:09:43):
So we talk about it at the beginning.

Speaker 14 (01:09:46):
And so then we say I would say to someone
if they're talking like that, I would say, I know
this is hard.

Speaker 5 (01:09:54):
What do we need to do to.

Speaker 14 (01:09:55):
Keep you safe? And that's the beginning. It doesn't mean
that somebody is going to come running in the door.
Or we talk about can we take the means away?
For example, maybe there's something that needs to change that
could help reduce the stress. So we go through a
lot of different things, but we talk through it. There's

(01:10:15):
no surprises the one will be blindsided. And so it's
just really important that they understand all of that, how
vast confidentiality is and where the limits are.

Speaker 2 (01:10:29):
So have any of you worked with court ordered smiley
all day every day? So what's the difference a court
ordered and someone who voluntarily comes in and says, hey,
let's talk.

Speaker 16 (01:10:48):
Well, I would say core ordered is there's a strong
wallop of not wanting to talk to someone and that
they didn't pick Usually I pick them because I receive
the referrals. Oh and I introduced myself and sometimes I'm

(01:11:11):
welcome and sometimes I am.

Speaker 13 (01:11:13):
Not, And that's okay.

Speaker 16 (01:11:17):
And it's just I mean, in that in that aspect
is when transparency is really important, relatability is really important.

Speaker 2 (01:11:27):
And because I'm I'm curious about that.

Speaker 8 (01:11:35):
Yeah, with the court.

Speaker 2 (01:11:37):
Order and and the the extreme importance of understanding the
cultural differences in terms of what you have to report
back to whoever.

Speaker 8 (01:11:47):
Dcs, d c s.

Speaker 16 (01:11:49):
Yeah, it's it's it's interesting. And I mean whether it's
it's black or white or hispanic. I think that just
me being a black woman and having that, you know
that that feeling of comfortability, it opens the door, It
softens it a little bit. Where the because I work

(01:12:11):
with kids where yeah, I love my kiddos. Where I'm
I'm also approaching differently too. I'm in a cammer in
a commer state, right, not the chaos that they.

Speaker 8 (01:12:25):
Are used to.

Speaker 16 (01:12:28):
And it does tend to bring the walls down, some
a little faster, some a little slower. But the consistency
is the most important piece. And I do speak very
front forward about confidentiality so that they understand, because you know,
once a kid.

Speaker 13 (01:12:46):
Loses that trust, if there's no more right.

Speaker 16 (01:12:50):
So I upfront very much, this is what happens if this,
you know, comes out, and this.

Speaker 13 (01:12:55):
Is why not just like these are the steps.

Speaker 16 (01:12:59):
I want you to know why, because you are important.
I have to make sure that you're safe.

Speaker 13 (01:13:04):
So it's it's and plus kids can smell you.

Speaker 16 (01:13:07):
It's like they can smell whether you're authentic or not.
So I might as well be straightforward and.

Speaker 5 (01:13:13):
Just get.

Speaker 8 (01:13:16):
That integrity straightforward.

Speaker 5 (01:13:18):
Yeah, And Sharon, I had.

Speaker 14 (01:13:22):
A colleague asked me, well, it was really kind of
a neighbor, but they were asking me. They were talking
about what their child was going through, and I said, well,
it sounds like it would be helpful for them to
talk to the school counselor just to have a place.

Speaker 5 (01:13:40):
And they felt like that.

Speaker 14 (01:13:44):
Talking to the school counselor would put stigma on the child.
And so I wonder if you could, because I know
you worked with children, I wonder if you could talk
about is that true sometimes or never, or how does
that work in the school system and what so for
our listeners, if they have children, or they know of
a child or a minor that should be that could

(01:14:08):
benefit from having a confidential space, what would you say
to them to help reduce their anxiety.

Speaker 16 (01:14:15):
I would definitely release that idea. Stigma kids, whether it's elementary,
middle school, high school, to be able to have someone
that they would say belongs to them, Okay, I like that.
It gives them a sense of like they feel special, Okay,
they feel seen. I have not ran across and I

(01:14:37):
worked school based when I would go pick them out
of their classrooms and they're just like I want to go.

Speaker 5 (01:14:42):
I want to go too.

Speaker 13 (01:14:44):
And I mean, if you think about it, kids want
to be seen.

Speaker 16 (01:14:48):
Sometimes they're not seen in different aspects of their lives,
but this is one place they're know to be seen,
even in high school, having someone that they can talk to.
I mean, when we're in high school, when we're you know,
a teenage status, we can our blinders are opening up.
We're starting to see our parents, our families, ourselves for

(01:15:09):
who we are. You know, how they're showing up. No
one is just like very like okay, they're perfect. No
they're not what so to be able to have their
stuff so so be able to have someone that they
can just like talk to.

Speaker 13 (01:15:27):
I think that stigma is it's a myth. It's something
that someone put in place the kids.

Speaker 2 (01:15:33):
Really honest stigma in terms of what stigma, explain the
stigma you're talking about, that's a myth because there are
several that are associated with.

Speaker 16 (01:15:44):
I would say, oh, like okay, if you have a therapist,
you have a counselor then you're crazy, something's wrong with you,
or you know you're not the in crowd you're not
the cool person and that. But you know that idea
would shield a kiddo from wanting to talk to someone

(01:16:05):
because I mean, you're in high school. Peer pressure status, right,
that all plays a big part in their their identity
they're trying to identify.

Speaker 5 (01:16:15):
But don't you think they're more open to counseling the
youth today.

Speaker 16 (01:16:20):
I really think twenty twenty, I know that's like are
always we come back to the COVID time that twenty
twenty opened up, like the self care door and having
a therapist became cool, like a tread, like having braces.

Speaker 13 (01:16:37):
It's a trend.

Speaker 2 (01:16:38):
Yeah, people used to be really down and out about
having braces, but you wouldn't even smile if you had me.

Speaker 16 (01:16:44):
Right now, they're just like, I'm about to get these
red ones, these colorful.

Speaker 13 (01:16:49):
So having a therapist is kind of like that.

Speaker 16 (01:16:52):
The kids that I my teenage kids that I that
I work with, even like middle school, I hear them like, yeah,
I told my friend I have a therapist.

Speaker 13 (01:17:03):
Oh and then and she's a black woman.

Speaker 8 (01:17:05):
Oh, they're proud of me.

Speaker 16 (01:17:06):
They're very much proud of it.

Speaker 13 (01:17:10):
So I think the stigma is shifting and maybe.

Speaker 14 (01:17:13):
Some of the stigma that is expressed is more of
discomfort on the part of the guardian or the parent
because of course their business is now in the room.
And so that's another piece of it.

Speaker 16 (01:17:30):
And that's a hard piece because there's parents that were
cohorts children.

Speaker 2 (01:17:36):
To avoid rehearse. This is what you're gonna talk about,
This is what you're gonna say. Yeah, you've uh, Sam,
you have a question for our panel here.

Speaker 7 (01:17:48):
Oh, yes, ma'am. Good afternoon, lady, afternoon afternoon. Uh. Two questions. One,
do you have a price to fit all?

Speaker 4 (01:17:58):
For example?

Speaker 8 (01:18:00):
Right?

Speaker 2 (01:18:01):
What do you mean price, Sam?

Speaker 4 (01:18:05):
Price charge?

Speaker 7 (01:18:08):
Uh?

Speaker 14 (01:18:09):
Uh?

Speaker 7 (01:18:09):
Like for example, uh, if a wife have a problem
with the husband of abuc compared to a murder uh.
In other words, the price are different or one price
it's cover different type of scenarios.

Speaker 5 (01:18:26):
So thank you for calling in and asking the questions.

Speaker 7 (01:18:30):
So one more question, Okay, what one more for you?

Speaker 4 (01:18:34):
Okay?

Speaker 7 (01:18:34):
The second question is uh for individual that do not
have is shown? Do you got to have a payer plan?

Speaker 5 (01:18:42):
So okay. So both of them are about cost and
there are I would hang up.

Speaker 14 (01:18:48):
Okay, thank you for your question. So there are places
that have sliding fee scales. Christian Theological Seminary has a
counseling program, and they definitely have a lot of diversity
and are very culturally competent. And are we signing.

Speaker 8 (01:19:10):
Office here in the background.

Speaker 5 (01:19:11):
Okay, now you know what that is.

Speaker 2 (01:19:13):
He plays that because it's time for a break. That's
how good he is.

Speaker 5 (01:19:16):
Yeah, okay, so we'll.

Speaker 2 (01:19:18):
Need to let's take a quick break. We'll come right back. Okay, okay,
because we got we got more time. Yeah, we got
to talk more. We'll be right back right after this.

Speaker 5 (01:19:30):
So you know, it almost sound like he wanted to help.

Speaker 1 (01:19:43):
Let's get back to the conversation. It's Community Connection with
Tina Cosby, brought to you by Child Advocates, a champion
for justice, opportunity and well being for children on Praise
AM thirteen ten ninety five point one FM.

Speaker 2 (01:20:00):
To her back with Community Connection. We have an absolutely
excellent panel here. Boy, doctor Hayes got off that ship
and she brought it. I tell you, she brought it
right here to the studio. Of course, it's such a
such a valuable conversation because we're talking about doctor Hayes.
What happens behind the door. You know, when therapy starts

(01:20:22):
behind the door and We're looking at so many different
levels and so many different aspects of when the door
shuts and therapy begins. You know, we're talking about children,
sometimes we're talking about learning as you go, and then
you know, the just the every day and I tell

(01:20:43):
you it was so refreshing to hear. We talked about
it in the break and we may have talked about
it on the air. I can't remember because it all
kind of flows, but some of the stigma is slowly
going away in terms of having a therapist or being
in therapy. Yeah.

Speaker 14 (01:20:59):
Well, I think I'm glad that the caller ask about
cost because that.

Speaker 2 (01:21:03):
Often is successibility. It is, which is a cultural thing.

Speaker 8 (01:21:07):
It's a lot of.

Speaker 5 (01:21:09):
And sometimes people just don't have it. You know, there
are a lot of.

Speaker 14 (01:21:14):
People working gig jobs, you know, whether it's uber or
lyft or whatever they're doing, that don't offer those kind
of benefits.

Speaker 5 (01:21:24):
So I think the question is good.

Speaker 14 (01:21:26):
And so if you're on any kind of financial assistance,
you probably have access to some low income counseling. And
it doesn't mean what I mean by that is not
that the counseling is low quality, but the cost will
be based on what your income is.

Speaker 5 (01:21:46):
And I was given the.

Speaker 14 (01:21:47):
Example of the Christian theological seminary. He also asked about
situation situations where there's violence. So if someone is a
has been abused by a partner, there are a lot
of resources that are free, and it doesn't matter if

(01:22:08):
their male or female, there are resources for them. If
there's someone that recognizes that they have the tendency to
be violent emotionally, verbally, or physically, there are also workshops
that are free for those people as well. So a
lot of times people have been raised in certain environments

(01:22:29):
and so they don't necessarily recognize that what they're doing
is hurtful because it's what has been normalized for them.

Speaker 5 (01:22:38):
So if you have a.

Speaker 14 (01:22:40):
Job that has EAP employee assistance programs, sometimes we don't
want to take advantage of that, but it wouldn't.

Speaker 5 (01:22:47):
Hurt to try. And so there are a lot of
the Flannerhouse.

Speaker 2 (01:22:52):
Has Yeah, is that the morning Star?

Speaker 5 (01:22:57):
I'm not sure.

Speaker 2 (01:22:58):
I think it's a morning star, not financial services, psychological,
mental health services that they have. It's it's it's a
house that hits on MKA MLKA and they are booked
to the hell they.

Speaker 14 (01:23:11):
Are And I've heard wonderful wonderful things about them. And
the fcp yeah, also has some resources that are with churches.

Speaker 5 (01:23:23):
You want to talk about that.

Speaker 8 (01:23:24):
Yeah, elaborate a little bit.

Speaker 16 (01:23:26):
It's the fcp R, which is Filming Community Resources where
we go out and we have several workshops. We have
a woman's workshop, a men's workshop, and then.

Speaker 5 (01:23:36):
The children's workshop.

Speaker 16 (01:23:39):
Where we just we cover many different aspects of mental
health providing also when they attend these workshops, they are
given I believe, three free sessions with the individual therapists.
So just by attending, you're able to at least open
the door to thoughts and feelings that you have and

(01:24:00):
being able to explore and then really receive some professional
assistance during this time and then you know, we can
see where we go from there.

Speaker 2 (01:24:09):
Yeah, but we're talking about what it's like once the
door shuts and and like you say, breaking down the
stereotypes and as more and more of us seek out
and become more comfortable. I guess with therapy and the
and thoughts of therapy and being in a therapist client relationship. Uh,

(01:24:31):
that can look so many different ways.

Speaker 9 (01:24:33):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (01:24:34):
And you talking about when you're talking about children, that
that's your nique are children harder or just different for me,
and I'm talking. I'm sorry, Sharon Sanders, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Speaker 16 (01:24:49):
I've been told they're harder and scarier, and I'm just like, well, let's.

Speaker 8 (01:24:55):
Go through the fire because I'm okay.

Speaker 13 (01:24:58):
I find it to be for me.

Speaker 8 (01:25:00):
It's fulfilling, I fulfill.

Speaker 16 (01:25:02):
I feel as if I'm put here by God to
do this work with them. And that has everything to
do with my own childhood. Even as a child, I said,
I want to be the counselor that I met in
seventh grade. Oh wow, I said, I want to be
her for girls and boys like me. I did not

(01:25:24):
know i'd be a therapist. I just knew I wanted
to work with kids.

Speaker 13 (01:25:28):
I wanted to be that that safe space for them.

Speaker 2 (01:25:31):
Would I would think kids would almost be easier than
adults because adults are kind of like, you know, they're
in their maide, you know they're there the zone and
everything else, and I would think that the youngsters would
be a little easier.

Speaker 16 (01:25:45):
They are for me for me working and it's not parents.
I work with parents, but individual adults for me is
it's working. It's a it's double you're working with the
child in them and the adult presence. But I've always
been a fan of like early intervention, which is why

(01:26:06):
I go forward with working with kids, because if I
can get you here, I can prevent you from being
that adult who's suffering from their childhood within their adulthood.

Speaker 2 (01:26:19):
But the trust is growing, it's getting better, and that's
that's all good. Yeah, that's all good for and when
the door shuts, it's not necessarily as intimidating. Have you
have you started seeing client chet Not yet.

Speaker 15 (01:26:31):
I start in the summer, But that is something we're
taught is right now, I'm taking a child developmental pathology
and that's what we're talking about, is that how to
establish a rapport and a bond with the child. That
can be sometimes difficult because there is that hesitation and
then you have the you know, the parent that might

(01:26:52):
be over there, you know, wondering about what you're talking
about or guiding them on how to respond. And I
think that something I think is important is understanding just
that as a therapist, when you're dealing with children, that
you're there to care for the child, and that yes,
as a parent, you're there and like that's your kid

(01:27:12):
and you want to.

Speaker 12 (01:27:13):
Know what's going on.

Speaker 15 (01:27:13):
But like at the end of the day, if I'm
if my client is a child, I'm there to care
for the child and I can help the parent, but
we'll need to send you so you can get your
own therapy.

Speaker 5 (01:27:24):
So we have that divide.

Speaker 2 (01:27:26):
Yeah, yeah, what can the two veterans share. She hasn't
started seeing client yet, so what well.

Speaker 14 (01:27:33):
I think the transparency piece there so key because you
tell the parents specifically about this, that you are here
for the children and that there's certain things again that
you would absolutely have to tell them if something was
going on with the child, and you tell the child that.

(01:27:56):
But you know, I've had I have limited experien with
children and mostly high schoolers, But I tell them, you know,
here are the rules, you know, here's what I can
what we will keep between us. Here's the kind of
area where it's gonna be kind of gray and.

Speaker 5 (01:28:14):
We'll come come to it together.

Speaker 14 (01:28:17):
And then here's where I'm gonna absolutely have to share.
And I tell them the parents and if they're not
willing to do that, then it's not gonna work.

Speaker 9 (01:28:27):
Right.

Speaker 2 (01:28:28):
As a clinician, miss senders, you ever have to make
a call like should I bring the parent in now,
or do we work with the child a little longer
and leave the parent out of it up to a
certain point. I mean, it's kind of do you how
do you how do you balance that? How do you
square that?

Speaker 16 (01:28:48):
That's definitely a thought when you know we're in therapy.
Maybe we're even focused on the parent and child relationship
dynamic and and in those moments opinion on the maturity
level of that kiddo and the age.

Speaker 8 (01:29:06):
How do you feel about.

Speaker 13 (01:29:08):
Talking about this with your parents?

Speaker 16 (01:29:10):
So we do work on the communication skills of them
being able to have the confidence and the words and
the tones to express their feelings so that they are heard,
especially using like the I feel statement, So then we
don't we're not attacking anyone. That person is able to
hear how you feel. It's such a big one because

(01:29:30):
it's you, you, you, you, you like blaming piece and
I feel that like what you mean, I feel.

Speaker 1 (01:29:38):
You know.

Speaker 13 (01:29:39):
So it's a lot of role play.

Speaker 16 (01:29:40):
So we do we practice beforehand, and then we're able
to mean that may even look like them writing down
their feelings, writing a letter and then reading in front
of the parents. So then in those moments there I
am I'm facilitating I mean the piece that giving that
kid the that he or she needs in order to

(01:30:02):
express themselves, and I just allow dialogue in those moments
between parent and child.

Speaker 2 (01:30:08):
You know, this is great insight and important, I think
for people to know and to understand. As therapist, you
all are facilitators. You're not telling them what to do,
You're not telling them what to think. You're not leading
them by the hand and say, Okay, by the by
week three we're going to be here, or by week
four or what have you when the door closes. It's
completely different than what a lot of people think. A

(01:30:30):
quick question. This is way way, way off, way off,
way off the island.

Speaker 14 (01:30:36):
I have.

Speaker 2 (01:30:37):
Did any of you ever see the series The Sopranos.

Speaker 13 (01:30:41):
That was not my jam?

Speaker 2 (01:30:42):
Okay? Did you see it? I think some of it.
A friend of mine who has her PA, did you
see it? I'm sorry, yeah, you did all from start
to finish.

Speaker 13 (01:30:51):
Not from start to finish.

Speaker 2 (01:30:52):
A couple of episodes, Oh, just a couple Okay. A
friend of mine, she has her PhD in psychology, and
she said, she's said, Tina, she lives in on the
East Coach. She said, Tina, this is you got to
you gotta see this series. You got to take a
look at it's unreal. And I'm saying what she said
this about a mob boss in therapy, talk about confidentiality, crime,

(01:31:15):
you know, all kinds of other things. And she said,
it's it's all it's Hollywood. You know, it's all fantasy.
She said, But in a lot of ways, decisions are
made just like we do in in therapy each and
every day. Now, what it turned out to be. I
watched it from start to finish, because it did become
a little fascinating, but they never got anywhere because they

(01:31:36):
never I mean, it was just it was just totally circular.
And I think that that happens from what she was
I was telling her, I said, you know, the only
thing I really learned was that there's some people that
can show kindness to a horse more so than they
can to a human. They're more comfortable showing kindness to
an animal or even an inanimate object than they are

(01:31:57):
to a human. I said, I got that. I was
just like, I got that much out of it. But
but what she was saying was that, you know, what
she was sharing with me was that in a lot
of ways, Uh, she has been that therapist where you
know it's not you know, you just know it's it's not,
but you you go, you take it as far as
you can take it.

Speaker 14 (01:32:17):
Ye that it's not that there's not going to be
changing behaviors.

Speaker 2 (01:32:21):
That exactly. Yeah. Yeah, so I think whatever, the behavior
never stopped.

Speaker 14 (01:32:27):
So when you start a therapeutic relationship, you talk about goals, yes,
and so I always ask how would they know that
therapy is working?

Speaker 2 (01:32:38):
What would this guy had panic attacks? He went into
therapy being my boss that has panic attacks. Again, Hollywood stress.

Speaker 5 (01:32:48):
Our internal conflict.

Speaker 2 (01:32:51):
So balance work life balance was the was the ongoing thing.
How do you balance work in life? I got to
talk to a therapist because I'm having panic attacks because
I just can't balance.

Speaker 14 (01:33:01):
And also therapists have choices, and so they wouldn't necessarily
have to continue with that client.

Speaker 5 (01:33:09):
It depends on their own values, you know. And that's that's.

Speaker 14 (01:33:13):
Something that we are taught that you know, certain things
might be a conflict for you, and so it's it's
much more beneficial to refer than to continue, uh and
then maybe have some of your own biases seep through.
But in general, I certainly asked someone how would they know,

(01:33:36):
things would be better in this case if the anxiety
attacks reduced and developing tools to help with that. So,
but someone who's I don't know what my bosses do,
and I guess they.

Speaker 2 (01:33:52):
Kill people, kill and steal, Yeah, I mean extort you,
strong arm. They do the thing.

Speaker 14 (01:34:00):
Actually doing the work versus orchestrating it. So there are
ways that people rationalize different things, but that would be
something that would be outside of my comfort zone.

Speaker 2 (01:34:10):
Oh yeah, yeah. And and anyway, as as it progressed,
she did, you know, she's like because she started to
understand that therapist started to understand a little more and
a little more because they could only get so far,
and then they'd have to stop because he said, I
can't tell you anymore about my business. And then okay,
she'd take another therapeutic route, and then they'd have to
stop because he could, you know, talk about couldn't so,

(01:34:32):
and then another route they'd have to stop. So that's
kind of what she was explaining to me. And she
said that, you know, without telling who these people are,
that I've had that situation, and I just thought it
would be interesting because you've always wondered, you know, and
I've told you about it and she said this this
show is just a you know, it's a phenomenal look
at it again, Hollywood, not real. But in anyway, So,

(01:34:54):
so you were saying.

Speaker 13 (01:34:55):
Like, speaking of progress, I like to do scaling.

Speaker 2 (01:34:58):
Okay, scaling?

Speaker 12 (01:34:59):
Was that?

Speaker 16 (01:34:59):
So it's where are you at with your self confidence? One?
And they may say, I'm at a three? What can
we do to get to a four? What do you
think is the next step?

Speaker 13 (01:35:13):
What do we need to change, what do we need
to remove, what do we.

Speaker 8 (01:35:17):
Need to add?

Speaker 14 (01:35:18):
You know?

Speaker 16 (01:35:19):
And so we go down this exportation of all these
different things to get to number four.

Speaker 13 (01:35:25):
And then I think that.

Speaker 16 (01:35:26):
Also helps what I feel, it also helps with them
seeing themselves grows so that the fear is starting to decrease,
and then they're getting the strength and the tools to
get over the next hurdle to get to the next objective,
to reach their goal.

Speaker 5 (01:35:44):
And then I do want.

Speaker 16 (01:35:45):
To say when we were talking about like closing the door,
and it's just the therapist and the client, even before
the door closes, before the therapist gets there, it's knowing
yourself as a therapist in that room, in that state.

Speaker 2 (01:36:00):
Good point and be comfortable.

Speaker 16 (01:36:02):
Yes, And because I work with sexually my adoptive kiddos.
And so when I was presented with the opportunity to train.

Speaker 8 (01:36:14):
I was like, I don't know about.

Speaker 16 (01:36:18):
But I had conversations with experienced therapists and that gave
me some comfort. And then knowing I could possibly be
of support for these referrals that do come in my
way and let me get comfortable, because sometimes we got
to get uncomfortable.

Speaker 8 (01:36:36):
To get comfortable.

Speaker 7 (01:36:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:36:38):
So say, for instance, a child is and you're scaling
and your and the child is like, hey, I know,
I'll just go smash out the windows to the car.
You know, That's what I'll do, And that'll make it better.
It'll make me feel better. What do you think?

Speaker 6 (01:36:50):
Uh?

Speaker 2 (01:36:50):
And that child, what do you do you gently? How
do you get them back? I mean you're when you're
saying behavior, Yeah, it sounds.

Speaker 13 (01:37:01):
Good, uh huh, but what are the consequences of it?
What is that going to really solve?

Speaker 2 (01:37:08):
Yeah?

Speaker 13 (01:37:08):
And what's another way for you to release that anger? Yes,
so it's meeting.

Speaker 8 (01:37:14):
It's not no judging right.

Speaker 2 (01:37:16):
Right, judgment freeze on, judgment free, judgment free okay always yeah. Yeah.
So so the the the upshot of the conversation then,
is therapy is good when the door shuts is good
and it can be even better as you get more
and more into it as you.

Speaker 5 (01:37:39):
What And also a therapist could be good but not
a good fit for you.

Speaker 2 (01:37:45):
Yes, that's important to know.

Speaker 14 (01:37:48):
And so it's it's about fit. You know, when you
go to your primary care providing, sometimes it's a wonderful fit.
Sometimes it's kind of neutral, it's like okay, and sometimes
it's like yeah, no, this is not.

Speaker 5 (01:38:04):
Working for me. And so that's that's how therapy is.

Speaker 2 (01:38:08):
How do you know not a good fit?

Speaker 5 (01:38:10):
It doesn't feel comfortable.

Speaker 14 (01:38:12):
So when you go to any place, any place you go,
when you go shopping, you know, if you've a restaurant,
do you feel welcome?

Speaker 5 (01:38:23):
Do you feel seen?

Speaker 14 (01:38:23):
Do you feel like they listen to you? Do they
understand what you're saying it?

Speaker 2 (01:38:30):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (01:38:30):
Do you feel connected?

Speaker 14 (01:38:31):
And just being black doesn't automatically make you Oh no, no,
no amen?

Speaker 5 (01:38:39):
Oh yeah, witness.

Speaker 14 (01:38:42):
Sometimes people have stereotypes about people having a PhD. So
I had an experience where I was meeting with someone
and I don't think they had been in therapy before,
and we started talking about something and they started explaining
it to me as if I was a lady, And
I said, I mean.

Speaker 2 (01:39:02):
What do you mean as if you were a white lady.

Speaker 5 (01:39:04):
So they were explaining.

Speaker 14 (01:39:07):
I would say, let's say what what stepping.

Speaker 5 (01:39:13):
Is in Greek life.

Speaker 2 (01:39:15):
Translating, they were translating.

Speaker 14 (01:39:18):
I had asked a question, and they they kind of
shifted their language and they were like, well, let me
explain it to you this way. And I said, well,
I'm Greek. And she said, oh, I didn't know that.
And I said, you talk to me like I'm a
white lady.

Speaker 2 (01:39:39):
She said, I didn't know.

Speaker 14 (01:39:40):
You were greeting because I didn't have anything that showed that.
And so so it was an assumption that she made right,
And so that meant that there were probably other.

Speaker 5 (01:39:55):
Things she wasn't sharing, you know, just because of that.
So it was great that it came up. And so.

Speaker 14 (01:40:03):
But it's important that you know, you feel comfortable, whatever
comfort is like for you. There are people that wouldn't
necessarily feel comfortable with me, but they might feel comfortable
with with Leanna or with Sharon, you know, and it's
it's not a reflection on me. It's just about fit.

(01:40:23):
And so the question you ask is how do you know,
trust your instincts.

Speaker 2 (01:40:30):
That's that's the first place to start, Miss Sharon, Miss
Leanna a few final words and then including how people
can get in touch with you.

Speaker 13 (01:40:39):
Okay, awesome.

Speaker 16 (01:40:41):
So I just want to encourage if you feel you
are being drawn to therapy, follow that is God opening
of a door for an opportunity for you to explore
your thoughts and your feelings. And you never know what
comes from that. When you start to let go and
start to shake off the weight, life starts happening for you.

Speaker 13 (01:41:03):
And don't be afraid. Well, you know what, be afraid.

Speaker 16 (01:41:05):
It's okay, it's okay, it's okay to being afraid, but
have that courage to walk.

Speaker 8 (01:41:10):
Through that darkness into the light.

Speaker 16 (01:41:13):
And I can be reached through Instagram.

Speaker 13 (01:41:19):
Okay, just Sharon Sanders. I'm very plain and simple.

Speaker 2 (01:41:23):
Sharon Sanders Instagram.

Speaker 5 (01:41:24):
Yeah say N D E R S yes. I was
putting in say uh yes.

Speaker 2 (01:41:30):
S A N D E R Okay okay, Sam fantastic.

Speaker 15 (01:41:35):
Yeah. I think my little take away there, my little
thing that I want to leave you guys with this
knowing that therapy is okay when you're on the self
healing journey like It can be hard, like she said,
but just do it anyway and it's worth it. And
know that there are black psychologists out here. You gotta
find us. We're looking for you.

Speaker 12 (01:41:54):
No, we're in.

Speaker 15 (01:41:55):
Training right now so that we can help, just help
our community be better and stronger and feel whole within ourselves,
because you can't give from an empty cup. You can
find me on LinkedIn. I know that's so lean, but.

Speaker 8 (01:42:12):
LinkedIn.

Speaker 5 (01:42:13):
Leanna Steverson. Yeah, thank you for having me. This has
been great.

Speaker 2 (01:42:17):
Much continued success in your studies.

Speaker 8 (01:42:20):
Come back to us, lady, yes, I know.

Speaker 9 (01:42:22):
I will.

Speaker 15 (01:42:22):
I let you give you an update your clients and
I can give you guys, give you the realty.

Speaker 2 (01:42:27):
Okay, we got it.

Speaker 8 (01:42:28):
We got it.

Speaker 2 (01:42:28):
And doctor Hayes, we will be seeing you again. I know.

Speaker 8 (01:42:32):
Thank you. Thanksgiving.

Speaker 14 (01:42:34):
The community is healing and so help. I need somebody.
It's true for everybody.

Speaker 5 (01:42:40):
Thank you ladies. Thanks joining me and thank you for
having me.

Speaker 2 (01:42:43):
Thank you all. Eric has played their music twice. Y'all,
We thank you all. We'll be back tomorrow. Until then,
this is community connection. Thanks for joining us, everybody,