Porn, Sex Addiction, and Internal Family Systems: Why Recovery Is More Than Just Sobriety with Blake Roberts (Episode 10)

“I used to be so pissed that I’m an addict. And now I’m so grateful that I am.”

That’s from Blake Roberts, a licensed therapist, writer, and someone who has walked his own road of addiction and healing. In this episode, we dive deep into his story—particularly his struggles with porn and sex addiction—and why he believes recovery is about so much more than just not drinking, not watching, or not acting out.

Blake opens up about his early exposure to sex and substance use, the generational patterns that shaped him, and the moment therapy finally gave him the language and space to name what was really going on. We talk about the importance of language (why he doesn’t always say “I’m a sex addict”), how Internal Family Systems (IFS) gave him a whole new way to view addiction, and why even “moderate” alcohol use was still functioning as an escape for him—and thus why he gave it up.

If you’ve ever struggled to understand your own behavior, felt like you didn’t fit the typical “addict” mold, or wanted to know what recovery looks like when it’s rooted in grace and curiosity instead of shame, this episode will hit home.

We explore:
—Blake’s story of addiction, secrecy, and growing up in dysfunction
—Why 12-step recovery was helpful… until it wasn’t
—The difference between sobriety and true recovery
—How Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy reframed his addiction
—Why he says “a part of me is addicted to sex” instead of “I’m a sex addict”
—The role his wife played in naming his problematic relationship with alcohol
—Why escaping—even subtly—is still escaping
—The power of curiosity and compassion in healing
—The orchestra metaphor for IFS and living in harmony with your whole self
—What it means to be 97% known—and why that’s not enough

Blake's Substack: More to the Story

Blake's podcast: 3% Podcast

Blake's website: blakerobertscounseling.com

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