January 21, 2025 • 35 mins
Today Charlotte, a nurse living on the Sunshine Coast tells her incredible story of Koa's premature birth when at 27 weeks, her waters broke. Charlotte's story highlights the tireless work of our NICU doctors and midwives, and also the fascinating mindset she adopted to overcome the challenges having a premature baby present.
Diary Of A Birth features mums telling their miraculous stories of bringing life into the world, and we have all medical questions and concerns cleared up by Australia’s favourite paediatrician, Dr Golly.
If you’d like to share your birth story, we’d love to hear from you at podcast@mamamia.com.au or send us a voice note here.
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CREDITS:
Host: Ksenija Lukich
Birth Story: Charlotte Fussel
Australia’s Favourite Paediatrician: Dr Golly
Executive Producer: Thom Lion
Audio Producer: Scott Stronach
Mamamia acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land we have recorded this podcast on, the Gadigal people of the Eora Nation. We pay our respects to their Elders past and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters
that this podcast is recorded on. We pay our respects
to elders past, present and emerging, and feel privileged to
continue the sharing of birth stories and knowledge that has
been a fundamental part of Indigenous culture.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Hi.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
I'm Conscena Lukit and this is diary of a birth.
Today's birth brings us to the beautiful Sunshine Coast, where
our mum had always dreamed of how her birth would
play out.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
Imagining my birth, I like to be quite a natural,
holistic person, so I started to get quite excited for labor.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
But working as a nurse herself, she was ready for anything.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
Seeing someone that works in healthcare, you know, I really
wanted the natural side, but I also have seen things
go haywire, and I wanted the option to have Western
medicine behind me as well.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Then, earlier than expected, things took a turn in ways
she never imagined.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
I felt so alone. It was this kind of this
thing where my brain hadn't really caught up to reality.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
So let's meet today's mum.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Hi.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
My name is Charlotte, and this is the diary of
my birth with color.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
For Charlotte. Life before Baby was Serene.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
I live on the Sunshine Coast with my partner Sam
and our beautiful border Collige Marlowe. We had a really
idyllic life. Sam and I met when I was twenty
and he was twenty two. I'm now twenty eight and
he's thirty. Been overseas and then with the boom of COVID,
we decided to build a house. So we lived in
(02:10):
the hinterland at the Sunshine Coast, built beautiful new home.
As most women approaching their thirties start to do, I
started being like, what else do I need? I would
love a baby. Sam he always wanted kids, but it
was never a right time. And then his thirtieth came
around and his dad sat him down and said, you know,
(02:32):
you're growing up now, you might want to start thinking
about kids. And we had a big party on his
thirtieth and lo and behold, we conceived car So we
didn't muck around. Early pregnancy for us was super easy.
I definitely had lots of fatigue during the first twelve weeks,
(02:53):
so you know, we'd go to work, come home straight
on the lounge, fall asleep. Sam would have to wake
me up to have dinner and then I'd go back
to sleep. But otherwise I was super fortunate didn't have
any nausea. We went into our eight week scan. Everything
was perfect with bub He was quite a big baby growing.
I think he was in the ninetieth percentile.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
With her milestone scans all clear. Charlotte's mind began preparations.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
At about twenty weeks. I picked up the book What
to Expect when You're Expecting. So then I did start
to you know, go, okay, yep, no, that pain makes sense,
this does make sense. Went to my first pregnancy yoga
and it was beautiful. I then started imagining my birth
and labor experience, and I like to be quite a
natural holistic person, so I started to get quite excited
(03:42):
for labor for my story. You know, I kept talking
to people that had had children about, you know, what
was birth like for you, And I was so excited.
I just remember being so excited, like I can't wait
to be a part of this club. It sounds absolutely wild,
but I was almost excited to go through labor and
pushing out a baby because I just wanted to know
what those emotions and those pains feel like I'm a
(04:06):
nurse by trade, so I always had that realistic expectation
for me that intervention might be needed, and I definitely
wanted the option to have Western medicine behind me as well.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Everything had gone to plan by the half of her pregnancy,
but then Charlotte woke up to every mom's worst nightmare.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
At twenty three weeks, at about midnight, I was fast
asleep and I woke up to what felt like my
period and just saw quite a bit of blood and
I just freaked out. I just woke up. My partner
shook him, and I just remember this. I just had
this screen that I've never had before. And he panicked.
(04:48):
And in my mind, no one had told me that
you can have a bleed without having a miscarriage. I
didn't know that was a thing. So immediately I was like,
we've lost this baby. It's twenty two weeks having, you know,
been in healthcare and knew at twenty two weeks I
was going to have to deliver that would be still born,
and so my mind just immediately went there. So I
(05:10):
just panicked. And unfortunately we lived forty five minutes away
from the hospital, so Sam was incredible. He just piled
me into the car. I don't even think I had
undermans and I just pull on some sweat pants and
in we weren't And that was a really somber car trip.
You know, the whole time I was just pushing my
belly trying to get him to move. So he got
(05:34):
to the hospital yet just after midnight, and they were amazing.
They rushed us up, they checked everything, put the doctor on,
and straight away we could hear babies heartbeat. So at
that stage, I didn't know if something was going to happen,
but I knew baby's alive, everything's okay. So we went
home and the next two weeks was, you know, just
(05:54):
normal tracking along. Bub was kicking a lot, my belly
started to grow, which was exciting, and then at about
the twenty five week mark, I had another bleed.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Charlotte's medical team reassured her that not every bleed is
a bad bleed, and that really put her mind at ease.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
So the lining of your cervix normally when you don't
have a baby is up inside, but when you have
a baby, it can put pressure on your cervix, so
that lining comes out into your vaginal canal and it's
exposed to different hormones and that can cause bleeding. So
I was like, okay, So now it was nice, no, okay,
I've got a reason why I'm bleeding, and they just said, unfortunately,
(06:35):
this is probably going to happen your whole pregnancy, but
you do have to come back to hospital every single
time you bleed. We got to twenty seven weeks and
I started to have some cramping and I wasn't really
sure what it was, and then I started doing some
(06:57):
reading and thought, potentially it could be early Braxton Hicks,
so I just kind of pushed on with it. And
then it had been consistently there throughout my shift. So
then when I was driving home, I was starting to
time them and they were pretty consistent every five minutes.
And at the time I just thought, oh, this is
(07:17):
just ligament pain or this is Braxton Hicks, but in hindsight,
it was the start of something much bigger. So when
I got home, I called my midwife and just said, look,
I'm having these aches and pains, and she said, look,
it probably is completely fine. What will get you to
(07:39):
do is text and panadole. If the pains go away,
then it should be okay. But if they don't go away,
you definitely need to come back in. She said, if
you're worried, you're more than welcome to come back in.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
With all of the possible complications, Charlotte's line of work
proved to be pretty.
Speaker 3 (07:55):
Convenient, and I told myself, if I wake up in
the morning and I've still got the pain, I'll just
go and get checked at the maternity clinic. I was
fortunate enough that I was a nurse at the same hospital,
so it wasn't really too far out of the way.
It was just upstairs, and I was in a position
that was pretty flexible, and my colleagues were amazing at
supporting me. So I went back to work and then
(08:19):
I was like, I might just go to the toy
And then as I was kind of walking to the toilet,
I had some discharge, so I could feel the old
blood the whole time it was coming out, but I
had discharge that felt it like cliff through it like
it's felt like I'd wet my pants a little bit.
And I definitely didn't feel big enough to be at
the stage that I would be incontinent. Called my midwife,
(08:42):
which said, do you think it could be your waters. No,
I'm only twenty seven weeks and three days. I just
I'm lost for words. And then, because she knew I
lived forty five minutes from the hospital, she said, look,
you're at the hospital now working. Why don't you just
go up to the maternity clinic get checked. It's probably nothing,
(09:03):
but at least you know you can go home tonight,
have a good night's sleep, and you won't be anxious.
So I left my desk with my like half cup
of tea. Everything's played out like all my job's not done,
and then I went out to the maternity clinic. About
three thirty, I called my partner and just said, look,
I've just gone to the maternity ward to get checked.
(09:24):
I've just had a bit of fluid lass and I'm
still having the cramps, so I just want to make
sure everything's okay. Five o'clock came. I've been there for
two hours. Sam pupped up with some lollies and he
was like, you can't be you know, you've had such
a big day. I can't leave you by yourself. So
he sat down next to me, and the doctor came
in finally and did a ultrasound to check my fluid
(09:48):
as really beautiful. We got to see barb and then
he said, you know, we're not sure what these pains are. Also,
we'll just get you to do a urine sample, just
to make sure that you don't have an infection in
your urine. So went to the toilet, got up to
wash my hands, and it was just like this big
gush of we essentially, and I'd never felt anything like it.
(10:11):
I just went, oh my god, what is this. Also,
not being a midwife, I was like, maybe it's not
(10:31):
My water is trying to push it back down. So
I just opened the door and like tried to yell
out to one of the midwives and she came over
and I just said, I think maybe my waters just broke.
And she was like, oh no, no, no, they wouldn't
have broken. I was like, no, like I think maybe
they have. And they you sure you just didn't like
(10:52):
wet your pants like some people do that with your
own samples. They peel a little bit and then they
stop and then they get up and they pee, and
then I started to get a bit panicky. I was
like no, no, no. I was like, can you just come in,
like can you just check my pad? Like and I
just pulled my pants down. I was like, just look, like,
look at it. And then as I pulled my pants down,
the rest of the waters just gushed out. And then
it was just the confirmation of her saying, yeah, that's
(11:15):
your waters. The floodgates open, and I just started bawling
my eyes out and started to get a bit panicky.
So then I like walked out of the toilet and
she called the doctor back over and I just looked
at my partner, Sam, and then he was like, what's wrong,
and then I couldn't like get the words out. The
midwife just said, you know, her waters are broken, and
(11:39):
Sam is just my rock. He was amazing. He just
came over and just hugged me. And then I just
immediately went it's too soon. It's too soon, Like he's
not big enough, it's too soon. He was like, it's okay,
it's gonna be okay. And then the doctor was amazing.
He came over and was, you know, the captain of
the ship and just said, okay, let's all just be calm.
(12:01):
I became very calm, got on the bed, he checked
me out, and then he said, okay, so I can
confirm that it was your waters. And your cervix is
now dilated to two centimeters. You are an active labor.
So immediately I started to cry again, but thought, you know,
hold it together, hold it together. He was also very amazing,
(12:22):
the doctor, because then he just stood up and said, Okay,
everything's going to happen very quickly from here. You're in labor,
so we need to get you to the birth suite.
We just did an ultrasound and we saw that baby
was in the breach position, which means you're going to
have to have a cesarean. Unfortunately, the Sunshine Coast Hospital
(12:43):
doesn't take babies under twenty nine weeks, so we're going
to have to try and get you to Brisbane so
they can look after baby, and we're also going to
give you lots of drugs. I was like, okay, great.
So the first two were for baby, so two doses
of steroids that are twelve hours apart, and then the
(13:03):
other one was magnesium self made. And the hope is
you can get as much of the steroid and the
magnesium in as you can because the steroid will help
baby's lungs and the magnesium will help baby's brain. They
started coming and putting all sorts of needles in me
taking bloods. You know, I got an injection of morphine.
(13:25):
They essentially just gave me everything they possibly could to
stop my labor. When I got across the berth suite,
the midwife brought in the magnesium to give me the
big dose that was for baby's brain, and immediately I
just started having this hectic chest pain, hurting, like I
(13:47):
feel like I'm having a heart attack or something. I
was like, you've got to stop that drug. You've got
to stop that drug. And I just remember how awful
it was, and then they just said, we'll just have
a break from it and it went away. By this stage,
some paramedics had arrived ready to take us. At this
stage we were going to the Gold Coast. The doctor
came in to do another check of my cervix, and
(14:08):
he before he checked, he basically said, look, if you're
any more dilated, then you've got to stay here on
the Sunshine Coast. And luckily everything had slowed down. I
was still at three centimeters. I was no longer tracting.
He also, at the same time got a phone call,
left the room, came back and said, great, we've got
you in a Brisbane. I'm really glad because even though
(14:30):
I said everything slowed down, I'm still really worried that
you might make it to Brisbane on time. And with that,
the poor paramedics just their face just went white because
I think they were like, oh, no, we do not
want to deliver a teeny tiny little baby in our
ambulance tonight. So they got me on the trolley, got
me all ready to go. My midwife came in the
(14:52):
ambulance with us, and then they started that magnesium up
again and then it was just again. I just had
that awful, awful heart pain that started to worry the paramedics,
so they put the ECG heart monitor on me. Just
with that huge lose of magnesium you get, they often say,
people report they feel like they're dying and it's just
(15:13):
a side effect oh the drugs. So it's really awful,
but it does go away. So because the my midwife
didn't know about that, and they don't normally deliver such
early babies, and the paramedics didn't know about that, they
didn't want the drug running and the ambulance. So I
got a bit of reprieve from the drug for a
while just before we were going to go. Sam said, okay,
(15:38):
well I'll just drive my car and i'll meet you
guys there. Just so I've got my car down in
Brisbane like in sync. The paramedics and the midwife and
the doctor all Taranda. I was like, absolutely not, You're
coming in this ambulance like she might give birth and
you need to be there. So he was just like, oh, okay.
(16:01):
So then we got to Brisbane at about eleven thirty
in miracle time. Normally it takes us about an hour
and a half to drive to Brisbane. I think we
got there in about forty minutes, so they had definitely
definitely got there quickly. Were wheeled into the birth suite.
As soon as I got there, there was just this
calmness and reassurance that everything was going to be okay.
(16:25):
So I got into bed. They just got everything ready
for a cesarean. Then the doctors came in and checked
me again. I hadn't dilated anymore, which was really lucky.
They basically just said, look from here on, we're just
going to monitor you. We think baby's going to come
(16:45):
very soon. We don't know when, but it's going to
be soon. We don't think you'll make it through the night,
so i'd had by this stage, they'd restarted the magnesium
and luckily I'd finished it without any more chest pain.
And then they started the twenty four hour dose and
they said the goal now for you is to get
(17:06):
twenty four hours of magnesium and to get two doses
of steroids. I was just giving myself little checkpoints, so
I was like, I just need to get to six
o'clock and we've had the steroid in. I wasn't even
thinking about baby, baby coming. I was like, we're just
getting to these checkpoints. This is what we're doing, one
foot in front of the other. Let's just take it
(17:27):
them out. By the time.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Charlotte and Sam waited and waited and waited, the.
Speaker 3 (17:47):
Next day came, we didn't get any sleep, and it
was still just this kind of when's baby going to come?
So the team came around and again explained what we knew.
They checked me. They gave me the next dose of steroids,
which was super exciting because I was like, that's another
checkpoint off. They said, we're also going to send in
the neonatal team to come and talk to you about
(18:08):
what to expect with baby, which I hadn't even really
thought about since my initial waters broke. They were really
matter of fact. They told us exactly what to expect,
that he would be in a humidic crib, that there
would be a lot of doctors in the room, and
that when he came out, they were going to take
(18:29):
him straight away, so I wouldn't be able to hold him,
I wouldn't be able to see him. They would take him,
and Sam was allowed to go with them and go
down to the Nickeu and seek Coha in his first
minutes of life. And then they went through the risks
of he could have a brain bleed, his lungs may
(18:49):
not be functioning, he could be both, and then it
went through his whole lifespan. He could have cerebral palsy,
he could be blind, he could have all of this.
And then they gave us a leaflet of what to expect,
and with that, straight away, Sam and I just folded
up and put it away and decided we didn't want
to read into it and we were just going to
take everything step by step. It was in the evening
(19:16):
and then I was so excited because I had got
to the checkpoints, so the magnesium was in, so I
was like, great, We've given baby everything we can for
his brain. This is awesome. The next checkpoint was just
to get to the next twelve hour march to the
forty eight hour mark for the steroids to be in
to fully help his lungs. So I went in on
(19:39):
Thursday afternoon and we were now Friday afternoon, and everything
had still slow pretty much no contractions. They were here
and there, and then my cervix wasn't dilating. So I
managed to go to sleep with some comfort, and then
at about five point thirty in the morning, the midwife
(19:59):
came in. She just tapped me on the shoulder and
it's time. We're going to deliver the baby now. And
then with that I just had like I don't know,
it just all hit me again and I just had
these soft tears roll down my face. Okay, it's happening.
So then I just like slowly did the same same
(20:20):
thing to Sam. I just slowly, you know, patterns Sam,
and then he like looked over at me and I said,
it's time babies coming. It was a bit surreal. And
then someone gave me a little beanie that would be
(20:42):
on his head. Then that's like I just started having
like tears. That almost went into a sub because it
was just the smallest little beanie that I'd ever seen,
and I just couldn't comprehend how that was going to
be ahead. It was almost like a planet Cesarean. We
knew it was going to happen. It was peaceful, I think,
(21:06):
you know, all the medical stuff had a vested interest
because it's not something that happens every day. And then
they wheeled me into the theater and Sam had to
wait outside where they were doing my spinal block. But
they had you know, portable the Man playing, which is
a band that I like. So that was really calming,
I think because I work in a hospital, you know,
(21:26):
the environment wasn't unusual to me. It was actually more
calming as I'd been in theaters before. Then there was
lots of people, so there was obviously all the theater staff,
there was the abstetric's team, and then there was all
the knee and needle team, so there was almost twenty
people in the room, so it was a crowd. Sam
came and sat next to me, and then yeah, they
(21:48):
started the procedure. COI came out, so our obstitution was amazing.
He's one of the head obstitutions in Australia and has
a vested interest in na and ates and doing well
when they're pre term, so he wanted him to get
as much as he possibly could from the placenta before
they cut it. And initially it was quiet. They pulled
(22:11):
him out and then there was a laugh and I
was like, that's odd, and then everyone started laughing and
co I had peede on me and they said obviously
I couldn't see the screen was up and they said, oh,
he's just peed on you. I was like, great, so
it's pretty much peeing on my insides. They started the
countdown for the clock of the placenta, so he ended
(22:33):
up getting almost the whole amount, but they had to
stop it, and both doctors were very calm. They were
just both discussing, and then the head knee and atrologists
just said, yep, that's enough. They took Coor over to
the little bay where the recess bae for neonates, and
I started to get really panicky because I knew what
to look for, and having been a nurse, I was
(22:56):
just looking at these oxygen numbers and I was just
wanting to they need to be aboup ninety five and
at that stage they were fifty, and I just remember
like he was crying, but the oxygen level was still
way too low at fifty and Sam was like, it's
fun and everything's there. But I was just the han
accounts no, no, like the number needs to be high. He's like, no, no,
like he's crying. Everything's good. Finally I saw that it
(23:20):
hit one hunt they'd obviously put oxygen on him and
everything was okay. So that was such a beautiful moment,
and I could have a sigh of relief, and they
brought him over. I wasn't allowed to touch him, but
they brought him over and he'd been pretty much he'd
had a little cry, but he was pretty much quiet
this whole time. He looked at me and he made
a little cry as like they faced himTo me, and
(23:41):
it was just so beautiful. It was just like the
perfect meeting. Knowing that I couldn't touch him, but at
least he like he cried out and he knew that
it was me. They took him to the Niku and
Sam went with them, and then all of a sudden,
it was just me, the aneathist, and the two surgeons.
(24:03):
So I'd gone from this room full of people to
absolutely no one essentially, and it was really weird. I
felt so alone. It was this kind of this thing
where my brain hadn't really caught up to reality of
oh my god, okay, you've had a baby. You're just
you're all of a sudden by yourself. And then it
sounds really bizarre, but they obviously have a screen between
(24:25):
you and your stomach, so you can't see but the
light of reflection where I could see the surgeons, you know,
sewing up my stomach, and because I'm quite interested in
healthcare whatnot, I ended up just watching them sew at
my stomach and it was actually so cathartic and calmed
me down. Before we went to the maternity ward, they
(24:46):
wheeled me down to the niku so I was in
my bed and that was bizarre. I guess I was
still exhausted. I wieled in. Everything was bright light, and
then they wheeled my bed up next to his humida
crib and I just looked at him and he was
so little and so red and so not what a
(25:11):
baby looks like. It was just so bizarre. Only the
parents were allowed to touch him, so Sam and I
were fortunate enough that moment we got to touch him,
I wash my hands and I managed to put my
hand in and just his little fingers they didn't even
wrap around my finger. They were so tiny. It was
so warm that they had to get me out of there.
(25:33):
So it was kind of I didn't want to leave him,
but at the same time, I couldn't hold him, so
I may as well go and recover and get the
good drugs and what.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
Charlotte didn't know what lay ahead at the neonatal intensive
care unit.
Speaker 3 (25:50):
From there, our Nicou journey began, and it was a
really bizarre, heart wrenching, tough, but beautiful journey. It's a
journey that you know, I wouldn't wish upon anyone. I
wouldn't want anyone to have to go to. Nikud's honestly
the hardest thing. And we were so fortunate the whole
(26:12):
way that Coha didn't have any hiccups and he's now
five months corrected, but was born eight months ago and
so far, you know, he's meeting all these milestones. He's
pretty much been discharged from the hospital clinics, and we're
so fortunate and so grateful because there are a lot
of babies that don't have the same journey post that.
(26:35):
So I went back up to the ward and the
hospital I was in it had four people mums and
bumbs to a room and that was really tough. So
I was super exhausted. Sam went back to Ronald McDonald.
Were super fortunate that we got a room at Ronal
McDonald and then I settled in to go to sleep.
But little did I know that then I would wake
(26:58):
up an hour later and there's all of these mums
in the room with their babies crying, and that was
just horrendous. Like I just all I wanted was my baby,
and then it became very apparent that I had my
baby and my belly anymore. I couldn't cuddle my baby,
and I just I hadn't been even without Sam in
(27:21):
my bed, you know, for ages that I just all
of a sudden felt so alone and I felt so lonely.
I just couldn't deal with it. And fortunately enough, my
midwife was amazing and she said, you know, you can
go down to the niku at any stage you want.
So I think it was midnight and she ordered me
a wardie and we went down to the Niicu and
(27:42):
I just sat with cor I think I was with
him for two hours because I just didn't want to
be alone, and I didn't want to be in that
room with screaming babies again because it was just too
heart ranching and a reminder that he wasn't with me.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
Charlotte has some words of wisdom for anyone who might
go through what she did.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
The niku experience was very intense for me. I worked
with a psychologist once I got to the Sunshine Coast,
and something that we broke down was because I was
a nurse and my waters broke at work. I essentially
never left work. I was still on that nurse brain.
So every time I was in the nickeu, I was
(28:23):
watching his heart right, I was watching his oxygen levels.
I was thinking, Okay, someone'm going to do something about this.
I'd never really switched off to be like, oh, I'm
just mum now. So it was a really amazing transition
when the psychologist pointed that out to me, and she said,
all those numbers don't mean anything to you, your mum.
(28:44):
You know, think about every time you start to get anxious,
think about how he smells, how he feels, how he sounds,
and just being mum and that was just a hugely
transformative moment for me because up until then I was
just watching all of his numbers, thinking about will he
yet an infection, will he have a brain fleet when
it's his ultrasound? All of those things. But for me,
(29:07):
just switching that all off and going okay, someone will
tell me when I need to know that was just
really therapeutic and I ended up having a little saying that,
so don't worry until there's something to worry about, because
otherwise you're just worrying twice. And you're also missing out
on those first beautiful moments with your baby, and even
(29:28):
though they're not at home with you, there's still beautiful
moments in the nicku.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
Having a premature baby can be a really scary experience.
So we've got Australia's favorite pediatrician, doctor Gollie, to explain
what a medical team's immediate focus is when a premature
baby is born.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
Well, it's quite an extraordinary thing to be a part of.
It's one of those things where you never want it
to happen, but when it does happen, it's a real
I guess the word is privileged to be a part
of such a team, and the word team is the
most important thing because there are so many people involved
and you're all working to a singular focus. But that
(30:09):
singular focus is the size of a coke can you know,
it's absolutely tiny. So everyone has a job, but there's
just no space in order to do it, and you're
often doing it right next to the parents' mums just
had a delivery, dad's there or partners there, So when
that baby does arrive amidst the hurricane, you get this
sense of calm. It's quite fascinating as a pediatrician. There
(30:32):
is a lot of calm within those moments, which I
think is really important so that you can see things clearly.
But also I think that other people in the room,
team members, family members, they imbibe that calm as well.
And so it's not just the doctors. The midwives are
absolutely invaluable. There are lots and lots of things going on,
lots of noises, lots of sounds, lots of smells, but
(30:55):
our singular focus is that newborn and we prioritize breathing. Airway.
That's the key, so airway and breathing as well as circulation.
So that's a heartbeat we're constantly monitoring what the heart
rate is, whether or not compressions are required as a
part of CPR, or whether we need to use other
forms of support to try to improve the heart rate.
(31:19):
We want a newborn's heart rate to be over one
hundred at all times, and we assist either with the
heart rate or with breathing or both, and then we
start to look at the bigger picture in terms of
temperature control. So often, and what certainly what Charlotte and
Sam would have seen was one of the first things
that we do with the babies. We actually put them
in a bag. And I know that sounds really unusual,
(31:40):
but we use almost like an oversized ziplock bag because
one of the biggest problems with premature babies because they
come out wet, they don't have much fat on them,
if any, and although we are working under heaters, it's
a very very cold environment and so they lose temperature
very quickly. So the first, first first thing we do
before the baby lands on the resuscitation table is we
(32:03):
put them into a bag, and that's when we begin
the resuscitation attempts.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
After birth, the instinct of any mother is to hold
the baby and take them home. I know for both
of my babies, it was the first thing that I
wanted to do. But doctor Golly explains why the next
period of time in the nicqueue is so vital.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
After the birth, the instinct of any parent is to
hold that baby. And while sometimes there is this perception
that we are fighting against the parents, we have the
exact same instinct. We would love nothing more. Me certainly,
I would love nothing more than to put a baby
straight to a mum's chest and to have that connection
and that skin to skin time. The problem is is
(32:44):
that sometimes it's far too dangerous, and it's too dangerous
in this setting as it was with CoA, and also
certainly others where that kind of activity could result in
the baby not surviving. And so we have to make
sure that that baby is stable, as we talked about
from a breathing point of view, from a circulation, heart
(33:06):
rate point of view, and then there's all this other
long list of things that we need to consider. So
babies don't have any immune protection, you know, they barely
have a layer of skin, So handing a baby around,
having a baby on someone's chest, this poses an extreme
infection risk. And so we've got to be very, very,
very careful. We don't have visitors coming in and out
(33:29):
of a nicu, we don't have older siblings coming in playing,
and that's not because we're mean and nasty. It's just
simply because we always have the survival and outcome of
the newborn as our utmost priority. Everything we do in
a NICU is to the point a one of a
measurement in medicine in general. You know, if you calculate
(33:53):
a dose for a medicine and it comes out as
two hundred and forty eight, you can give two hundred
and fifty, that's fine. But in NICU you're giving two
hundred and forty seven point three four. You know, it
is really really exact, because small mistakes or small fluctuations
can be the difference between life and death, as Charlotte
and Sam experienced. You know, when you think about it
(34:15):
in its most simplest form, this is a baby that's
been born weeks before they were expecting to be and
they are intended to be, and so we are asking
of them an extraordinary amount. Where asked them to use
their lungs weeks before they were meant to be used, Well,
asked them to use their gut to feed, to get sugar,
and to get sustenance, and to grow weeks before it
(34:38):
was meant to be used their protective systems to fight infection,
all of these things, and they're not ready. It's quite
incredible in terms of the advances that we've made over
the years, what we can achieve now compared to even
just ten years ago. So we're not just helping these
babies survive, we're actually helping them thrive and lead normal
(35:00):
or close to normal lives, which is really really special
and it's incredible to be a part of. And Charlotte
and sam Co are really really lucky to be born
in this country at this time. I'm grateful that they've
shared their experience and I hope that those going through
a similar journey will be empowered from that.
Speaker 2 (35:23):
Thank you for joining us on Diary of a Birth,
where we celebrate all the amazing ways that we as
women bring life into the world. If you'd like to
share your birth story with us, we'd love to hear
from you. Details are in the show notes. Diary of
a Birth was hosted by me Kasenya Lukic with expert
input from doctor Gollie. This episode was produced by Tom
(35:43):
Lyon with audio production by Scott Stronik.
You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters
that this podcast is recorded on. We pay our respects
to elders past, present and emerging, and feel privileged to
continue the sharing of birth stories and knowledge that has
been a fundamental part of Indigenous culture.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Hi.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
I'm Conscena Lukit and this is diary of a birth.
Today's birth brings us to the beautiful Sunshine Coast, where
our mum had always dreamed of how her birth would
play out.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
Imagining my birth, I like to be quite a natural,
holistic person, so I started to get quite excited for labor.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
But working as a nurse herself, she was ready for anything.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
Seeing someone that works in healthcare, you know, I really
wanted the natural side, but I also have seen things
go haywire, and I wanted the option to have Western
medicine behind me as well.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Then, earlier than expected, things took a turn in ways
she never imagined.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
I felt so alone. It was this kind of this
thing where my brain hadn't really caught up to reality.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
So let's meet today's mum.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Hi.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
My name is Charlotte, and this is the diary of
my birth with color.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
For Charlotte. Life before Baby was Serene.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
I live on the Sunshine Coast with my partner Sam
and our beautiful border Collige Marlowe. We had a really
idyllic life. Sam and I met when I was twenty
and he was twenty two. I'm now twenty eight and
he's thirty. Been overseas and then with the boom of COVID,
we decided to build a house. So we lived in
(02:10):
the hinterland at the Sunshine Coast, built beautiful new home.
As most women approaching their thirties start to do, I
started being like, what else do I need? I would
love a baby. Sam he always wanted kids, but it
was never a right time. And then his thirtieth came
around and his dad sat him down and said, you know,
(02:32):
you're growing up now, you might want to start thinking
about kids. And we had a big party on his
thirtieth and lo and behold, we conceived car So we
didn't muck around. Early pregnancy for us was super easy.
I definitely had lots of fatigue during the first twelve weeks,
(02:53):
so you know, we'd go to work, come home straight
on the lounge, fall asleep. Sam would have to wake
me up to have dinner and then I'd go back
to sleep. But otherwise I was super fortunate didn't have
any nausea. We went into our eight week scan. Everything
was perfect with bub He was quite a big baby growing.
I think he was in the ninetieth percentile.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
With her milestone scans all clear. Charlotte's mind began preparations.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
At about twenty weeks. I picked up the book What
to Expect when You're Expecting. So then I did start
to you know, go, okay, yep, no, that pain makes sense,
this does make sense. Went to my first pregnancy yoga
and it was beautiful. I then started imagining my birth
and labor experience, and I like to be quite a
natural holistic person, so I started to get quite excited
(03:42):
for labor for my story. You know, I kept talking
to people that had had children about, you know, what
was birth like for you, And I was so excited.
I just remember being so excited, like I can't wait
to be a part of this club. It sounds absolutely wild,
but I was almost excited to go through labor and
pushing out a baby because I just wanted to know
what those emotions and those pains feel like I'm a
(04:06):
nurse by trade, so I always had that realistic expectation
for me that intervention might be needed, and I definitely
wanted the option to have Western medicine behind me as well.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Everything had gone to plan by the half of her pregnancy,
but then Charlotte woke up to every mom's worst nightmare.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
At twenty three weeks, at about midnight, I was fast
asleep and I woke up to what felt like my
period and just saw quite a bit of blood and
I just freaked out. I just woke up. My partner
shook him, and I just remember this. I just had
this screen that I've never had before. And he panicked.
(04:48):
And in my mind, no one had told me that
you can have a bleed without having a miscarriage. I
didn't know that was a thing. So immediately I was like,
we've lost this baby. It's twenty two weeks having, you know,
been in healthcare and knew at twenty two weeks I
was going to have to deliver that would be still born,
and so my mind just immediately went there. So I
(05:10):
just panicked. And unfortunately we lived forty five minutes away
from the hospital, so Sam was incredible. He just piled
me into the car. I don't even think I had
undermans and I just pull on some sweat pants and
in we weren't And that was a really somber car trip.
You know, the whole time I was just pushing my
belly trying to get him to move. So he got
(05:34):
to the hospital yet just after midnight, and they were amazing.
They rushed us up, they checked everything, put the doctor on,
and straight away we could hear babies heartbeat. So at
that stage, I didn't know if something was going to happen,
but I knew baby's alive, everything's okay. So we went
home and the next two weeks was, you know, just
(05:54):
normal tracking along. Bub was kicking a lot, my belly
started to grow, which was exciting, and then at about
the twenty five week mark, I had another bleed.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Charlotte's medical team reassured her that not every bleed is
a bad bleed, and that really put her mind at ease.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
So the lining of your cervix normally when you don't
have a baby is up inside, but when you have
a baby, it can put pressure on your cervix, so
that lining comes out into your vaginal canal and it's
exposed to different hormones and that can cause bleeding. So
I was like, okay, So now it was nice, no, okay,
I've got a reason why I'm bleeding, and they just said, unfortunately,
(06:35):
this is probably going to happen your whole pregnancy, but
you do have to come back to hospital every single
time you bleed. We got to twenty seven weeks and
I started to have some cramping and I wasn't really
sure what it was, and then I started doing some
(06:57):
reading and thought, potentially it could be early Braxton Hicks,
so I just kind of pushed on with it. And
then it had been consistently there throughout my shift. So
then when I was driving home, I was starting to
time them and they were pretty consistent every five minutes.
And at the time I just thought, oh, this is
(07:17):
just ligament pain or this is Braxton Hicks, but in hindsight,
it was the start of something much bigger. So when
I got home, I called my midwife and just said, look,
I'm having these aches and pains, and she said, look,
it probably is completely fine. What will get you to
(07:39):
do is text and panadole. If the pains go away,
then it should be okay. But if they don't go away,
you definitely need to come back in. She said, if
you're worried, you're more than welcome to come back in.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
With all of the possible complications, Charlotte's line of work
proved to be pretty.
Speaker 3 (07:55):
Convenient, and I told myself, if I wake up in
the morning and I've still got the pain, I'll just
go and get checked at the maternity clinic. I was
fortunate enough that I was a nurse at the same hospital,
so it wasn't really too far out of the way.
It was just upstairs, and I was in a position
that was pretty flexible, and my colleagues were amazing at
supporting me. So I went back to work and then
(08:19):
I was like, I might just go to the toy
And then as I was kind of walking to the toilet,
I had some discharge, so I could feel the old
blood the whole time it was coming out, but I
had discharge that felt it like cliff through it like
it's felt like I'd wet my pants a little bit.
And I definitely didn't feel big enough to be at
the stage that I would be incontinent. Called my midwife,
(08:42):
which said, do you think it could be your waters. No,
I'm only twenty seven weeks and three days. I just
I'm lost for words. And then, because she knew I
lived forty five minutes from the hospital, she said, look,
you're at the hospital now working. Why don't you just
go up to the maternity clinic get checked. It's probably nothing,
(09:03):
but at least you know you can go home tonight,
have a good night's sleep, and you won't be anxious.
So I left my desk with my like half cup
of tea. Everything's played out like all my job's not done,
and then I went out to the maternity clinic. About
three thirty, I called my partner and just said, look,
I've just gone to the maternity ward to get checked.
(09:24):
I've just had a bit of fluid lass and I'm
still having the cramps, so I just want to make
sure everything's okay. Five o'clock came. I've been there for
two hours. Sam pupped up with some lollies and he
was like, you can't be you know, you've had such
a big day. I can't leave you by yourself. So
he sat down next to me, and the doctor came
in finally and did a ultrasound to check my fluid
(09:48):
as really beautiful. We got to see barb and then
he said, you know, we're not sure what these pains are. Also,
we'll just get you to do a urine sample, just
to make sure that you don't have an infection in
your urine. So went to the toilet, got up to
wash my hands, and it was just like this big
gush of we essentially, and I'd never felt anything like it.
(10:11):
I just went, oh my god, what is this. Also,
not being a midwife, I was like, maybe it's not
(10:31):
My water is trying to push it back down. So
I just opened the door and like tried to yell
out to one of the midwives and she came over
and I just said, I think maybe my waters just broke.
And she was like, oh no, no, no, they wouldn't
have broken. I was like, no, like I think maybe
they have. And they you sure you just didn't like
(10:52):
wet your pants like some people do that with your
own samples. They peel a little bit and then they
stop and then they get up and they pee, and
then I started to get a bit panicky. I was
like no, no, no. I was like, can you just come in,
like can you just check my pad? Like and I
just pulled my pants down. I was like, just look, like,
look at it. And then as I pulled my pants down,
the rest of the waters just gushed out. And then
it was just the confirmation of her saying, yeah, that's
(11:15):
your waters. The floodgates open, and I just started bawling
my eyes out and started to get a bit panicky.
So then I like walked out of the toilet and
she called the doctor back over and I just looked
at my partner, Sam, and then he was like, what's wrong,
and then I couldn't like get the words out. The
midwife just said, you know, her waters are broken, and
(11:39):
Sam is just my rock. He was amazing. He just
came over and just hugged me. And then I just
immediately went it's too soon. It's too soon, Like he's
not big enough, it's too soon. He was like, it's okay,
it's gonna be okay. And then the doctor was amazing.
He came over and was, you know, the captain of
the ship and just said, okay, let's all just be calm.
(12:01):
I became very calm, got on the bed, he checked
me out, and then he said, okay, so I can
confirm that it was your waters. And your cervix is
now dilated to two centimeters. You are an active labor.
So immediately I started to cry again, but thought, you know,
hold it together, hold it together. He was also very amazing,
(12:22):
the doctor, because then he just stood up and said, Okay,
everything's going to happen very quickly from here. You're in labor,
so we need to get you to the birth suite.
We just did an ultrasound and we saw that baby
was in the breach position, which means you're going to
have to have a cesarean. Unfortunately, the Sunshine Coast Hospital
(12:43):
doesn't take babies under twenty nine weeks, so we're going
to have to try and get you to Brisbane so
they can look after baby, and we're also going to
give you lots of drugs. I was like, okay, great.
So the first two were for baby, so two doses
of steroids that are twelve hours apart, and then the
(13:03):
other one was magnesium self made. And the hope is
you can get as much of the steroid and the
magnesium in as you can because the steroid will help
baby's lungs and the magnesium will help baby's brain. They
started coming and putting all sorts of needles in me
taking bloods. You know, I got an injection of morphine.
(13:25):
They essentially just gave me everything they possibly could to
stop my labor. When I got across the berth suite,
the midwife brought in the magnesium to give me the
big dose that was for baby's brain, and immediately I
just started having this hectic chest pain, hurting, like I
(13:47):
feel like I'm having a heart attack or something. I
was like, you've got to stop that drug. You've got
to stop that drug. And I just remember how awful
it was, and then they just said, we'll just have
a break from it and it went away. By this stage,
some paramedics had arrived ready to take us. At this
stage we were going to the Gold Coast. The doctor
came in to do another check of my cervix, and
(14:08):
he before he checked, he basically said, look, if you're
any more dilated, then you've got to stay here on
the Sunshine Coast. And luckily everything had slowed down. I
was still at three centimeters. I was no longer tracting.
He also, at the same time got a phone call,
left the room, came back and said, great, we've got
you in a Brisbane. I'm really glad because even though
(14:30):
I said everything slowed down, I'm still really worried that
you might make it to Brisbane on time. And with that,
the poor paramedics just their face just went white because
I think they were like, oh, no, we do not
want to deliver a teeny tiny little baby in our
ambulance tonight. So they got me on the trolley, got
me all ready to go. My midwife came in the
(14:52):
ambulance with us, and then they started that magnesium up
again and then it was just again. I just had
that awful, awful heart pain that started to worry the paramedics,
so they put the ECG heart monitor on me. Just
with that huge lose of magnesium you get, they often say,
people report they feel like they're dying and it's just
(15:13):
a side effect oh the drugs. So it's really awful,
but it does go away. So because the my midwife
didn't know about that, and they don't normally deliver such
early babies, and the paramedics didn't know about that, they
didn't want the drug running and the ambulance. So I
got a bit of reprieve from the drug for a
while just before we were going to go. Sam said, okay,
(15:38):
well I'll just drive my car and i'll meet you
guys there. Just so I've got my car down in
Brisbane like in sync. The paramedics and the midwife and
the doctor all Taranda. I was like, absolutely not, You're
coming in this ambulance like she might give birth and
you need to be there. So he was just like, oh, okay.
(16:01):
So then we got to Brisbane at about eleven thirty
in miracle time. Normally it takes us about an hour
and a half to drive to Brisbane. I think we
got there in about forty minutes, so they had definitely
definitely got there quickly. Were wheeled into the birth suite.
As soon as I got there, there was just this
calmness and reassurance that everything was going to be okay.
(16:25):
So I got into bed. They just got everything ready
for a cesarean. Then the doctors came in and checked
me again. I hadn't dilated anymore, which was really lucky.
They basically just said, look from here on, we're just
going to monitor you. We think baby's going to come
(16:45):
very soon. We don't know when, but it's going to
be soon. We don't think you'll make it through the night,
so i'd had by this stage, they'd restarted the magnesium
and luckily I'd finished it without any more chest pain.
And then they started the twenty four hour dose and
they said the goal now for you is to get
(17:06):
twenty four hours of magnesium and to get two doses
of steroids. I was just giving myself little checkpoints, so
I was like, I just need to get to six
o'clock and we've had the steroid in. I wasn't even
thinking about baby, baby coming. I was like, we're just
getting to these checkpoints. This is what we're doing, one
foot in front of the other. Let's just take it
(17:27):
them out. By the time.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Charlotte and Sam waited and waited and waited, the.
Speaker 3 (17:47):
Next day came, we didn't get any sleep, and it
was still just this kind of when's baby going to come?
So the team came around and again explained what we knew.
They checked me. They gave me the next dose of steroids,
which was super exciting because I was like, that's another
checkpoint off. They said, we're also going to send in
the neonatal team to come and talk to you about
(18:08):
what to expect with baby, which I hadn't even really
thought about since my initial waters broke. They were really
matter of fact. They told us exactly what to expect,
that he would be in a humidic crib, that there
would be a lot of doctors in the room, and
that when he came out, they were going to take
(18:29):
him straight away, so I wouldn't be able to hold him,
I wouldn't be able to see him. They would take him,
and Sam was allowed to go with them and go
down to the Nickeu and seek Coha in his first
minutes of life. And then they went through the risks
of he could have a brain bleed, his lungs may
(18:49):
not be functioning, he could be both, and then it
went through his whole lifespan. He could have cerebral palsy,
he could be blind, he could have all of this.
And then they gave us a leaflet of what to expect,
and with that, straight away, Sam and I just folded
up and put it away and decided we didn't want
to read into it and we were just going to
take everything step by step. It was in the evening
(19:16):
and then I was so excited because I had got
to the checkpoints, so the magnesium was in, so I
was like, great, We've given baby everything we can for
his brain. This is awesome. The next checkpoint was just
to get to the next twelve hour march to the
forty eight hour mark for the steroids to be in
to fully help his lungs. So I went in on
(19:39):
Thursday afternoon and we were now Friday afternoon, and everything
had still slow pretty much no contractions. They were here
and there, and then my cervix wasn't dilating. So I
managed to go to sleep with some comfort, and then
at about five point thirty in the morning, the midwife
(19:59):
came in. She just tapped me on the shoulder and
it's time. We're going to deliver the baby now. And
then with that I just had like I don't know,
it just all hit me again and I just had
these soft tears roll down my face. Okay, it's happening.
So then I just like slowly did the same same
(20:20):
thing to Sam. I just slowly, you know, patterns Sam,
and then he like looked over at me and I said,
it's time babies coming. It was a bit surreal. And
then someone gave me a little beanie that would be
(20:42):
on his head. Then that's like I just started having
like tears. That almost went into a sub because it
was just the smallest little beanie that I'd ever seen,
and I just couldn't comprehend how that was going to
be ahead. It was almost like a planet Cesarean. We
knew it was going to happen. It was peaceful, I think,
(21:06):
you know, all the medical stuff had a vested interest
because it's not something that happens every day. And then
they wheeled me into the theater and Sam had to
wait outside where they were doing my spinal block. But
they had you know, portable the Man playing, which is
a band that I like. So that was really calming,
I think because I work in a hospital, you know,
(21:26):
the environment wasn't unusual to me. It was actually more
calming as I'd been in theaters before. Then there was
lots of people, so there was obviously all the theater staff,
there was the abstetric's team, and then there was all
the knee and needle team, so there was almost twenty
people in the room, so it was a crowd. Sam
came and sat next to me, and then yeah, they
(21:48):
started the procedure. COI came out, so our obstitution was amazing.
He's one of the head obstitutions in Australia and has
a vested interest in na and ates and doing well
when they're pre term, so he wanted him to get
as much as he possibly could from the placenta before
they cut it. And initially it was quiet. They pulled
(22:11):
him out and then there was a laugh and I
was like, that's odd, and then everyone started laughing and
co I had peede on me and they said obviously
I couldn't see the screen was up and they said, oh,
he's just peed on you. I was like, great, so
it's pretty much peeing on my insides. They started the
countdown for the clock of the placenta, so he ended
(22:33):
up getting almost the whole amount, but they had to
stop it, and both doctors were very calm. They were
just both discussing, and then the head knee and atrologists
just said, yep, that's enough. They took Coor over to
the little bay where the recess bae for neonates, and
I started to get really panicky because I knew what
to look for, and having been a nurse, I was
(22:56):
just looking at these oxygen numbers and I was just
wanting to they need to be aboup ninety five and
at that stage they were fifty, and I just remember
like he was crying, but the oxygen level was still
way too low at fifty and Sam was like, it's
fun and everything's there. But I was just the han
accounts no, no, like the number needs to be high. He's like, no, no,
like he's crying. Everything's good. Finally I saw that it
(23:20):
hit one hunt they'd obviously put oxygen on him and
everything was okay. So that was such a beautiful moment,
and I could have a sigh of relief, and they
brought him over. I wasn't allowed to touch him, but
they brought him over and he'd been pretty much he'd
had a little cry, but he was pretty much quiet
this whole time. He looked at me and he made
a little cry as like they faced himTo me, and
(23:41):
it was just so beautiful. It was just like the
perfect meeting. Knowing that I couldn't touch him, but at
least he like he cried out and he knew that
it was me. They took him to the Niku and
Sam went with them, and then all of a sudden,
it was just me, the aneathist, and the two surgeons.
(24:03):
So I'd gone from this room full of people to
absolutely no one essentially, and it was really weird. I
felt so alone. It was this kind of this thing
where my brain hadn't really caught up to reality of
oh my god, okay, you've had a baby. You're just
you're all of a sudden by yourself. And then it
sounds really bizarre, but they obviously have a screen between
(24:25):
you and your stomach, so you can't see but the
light of reflection where I could see the surgeons, you know,
sewing up my stomach, and because I'm quite interested in
healthcare whatnot, I ended up just watching them sew at
my stomach and it was actually so cathartic and calmed
me down. Before we went to the maternity ward, they
(24:46):
wheeled me down to the niku so I was in
my bed and that was bizarre. I guess I was
still exhausted. I wieled in. Everything was bright light, and
then they wheeled my bed up next to his humida
crib and I just looked at him and he was
so little and so red and so not what a
(25:11):
baby looks like. It was just so bizarre. Only the
parents were allowed to touch him, so Sam and I
were fortunate enough that moment we got to touch him,
I wash my hands and I managed to put my
hand in and just his little fingers they didn't even
wrap around my finger. They were so tiny. It was
so warm that they had to get me out of there.
(25:33):
So it was kind of I didn't want to leave him,
but at the same time, I couldn't hold him, so
I may as well go and recover and get the
good drugs and what.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
Charlotte didn't know what lay ahead at the neonatal intensive
care unit.
Speaker 3 (25:50):
From there, our Nicou journey began, and it was a
really bizarre, heart wrenching, tough, but beautiful journey. It's a
journey that you know, I wouldn't wish upon anyone. I
wouldn't want anyone to have to go to. Nikud's honestly
the hardest thing. And we were so fortunate the whole
(26:12):
way that Coha didn't have any hiccups and he's now
five months corrected, but was born eight months ago and
so far, you know, he's meeting all these milestones. He's
pretty much been discharged from the hospital clinics, and we're
so fortunate and so grateful because there are a lot
of babies that don't have the same journey post that.
(26:35):
So I went back up to the ward and the
hospital I was in it had four people mums and
bumbs to a room and that was really tough. So
I was super exhausted. Sam went back to Ronald McDonald.
Were super fortunate that we got a room at Ronal
McDonald and then I settled in to go to sleep.
But little did I know that then I would wake
(26:58):
up an hour later and there's all of these mums
in the room with their babies crying, and that was
just horrendous. Like I just all I wanted was my baby,
and then it became very apparent that I had my
baby and my belly anymore. I couldn't cuddle my baby,
and I just I hadn't been even without Sam in
(27:21):
my bed, you know, for ages that I just all
of a sudden felt so alone and I felt so lonely.
I just couldn't deal with it. And fortunately enough, my
midwife was amazing and she said, you know, you can
go down to the niku at any stage you want.
So I think it was midnight and she ordered me
a wardie and we went down to the Niicu and
(27:42):
I just sat with cor I think I was with
him for two hours because I just didn't want to
be alone, and I didn't want to be in that
room with screaming babies again because it was just too
heart ranching and a reminder that he wasn't with me.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
Charlotte has some words of wisdom for anyone who might
go through what she did.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
The niku experience was very intense for me. I worked
with a psychologist once I got to the Sunshine Coast,
and something that we broke down was because I was
a nurse and my waters broke at work. I essentially
never left work. I was still on that nurse brain.
So every time I was in the nickeu, I was
(28:23):
watching his heart right, I was watching his oxygen levels.
I was thinking, Okay, someone'm going to do something about this.
I'd never really switched off to be like, oh, I'm
just mum now. So it was a really amazing transition
when the psychologist pointed that out to me, and she said,
all those numbers don't mean anything to you, your mum.
(28:44):
You know, think about every time you start to get anxious,
think about how he smells, how he feels, how he sounds,
and just being mum and that was just a hugely
transformative moment for me because up until then I was
just watching all of his numbers, thinking about will he
yet an infection, will he have a brain fleet when
it's his ultrasound? All of those things. But for me,
(29:07):
just switching that all off and going okay, someone will
tell me when I need to know that was just
really therapeutic and I ended up having a little saying that,
so don't worry until there's something to worry about, because
otherwise you're just worrying twice. And you're also missing out
on those first beautiful moments with your baby, and even
(29:28):
though they're not at home with you, there's still beautiful
moments in the nicku.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
Having a premature baby can be a really scary experience.
So we've got Australia's favorite pediatrician, doctor Gollie, to explain
what a medical team's immediate focus is when a premature
baby is born.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
Well, it's quite an extraordinary thing to be a part of.
It's one of those things where you never want it
to happen, but when it does happen, it's a real
I guess the word is privileged to be a part
of such a team, and the word team is the
most important thing because there are so many people involved
and you're all working to a singular focus. But that
(30:09):
singular focus is the size of a coke can you know,
it's absolutely tiny. So everyone has a job, but there's
just no space in order to do it, and you're
often doing it right next to the parents' mums just
had a delivery, dad's there or partners there, So when
that baby does arrive amidst the hurricane, you get this
sense of calm. It's quite fascinating as a pediatrician. There
(30:32):
is a lot of calm within those moments, which I
think is really important so that you can see things clearly.
But also I think that other people in the room,
team members, family members, they imbibe that calm as well.
And so it's not just the doctors. The midwives are
absolutely invaluable. There are lots and lots of things going on,
lots of noises, lots of sounds, lots of smells, but
(30:55):
our singular focus is that newborn and we prioritize breathing. Airway.
That's the key, so airway and breathing as well as circulation.
So that's a heartbeat we're constantly monitoring what the heart
rate is, whether or not compressions are required as a
part of CPR, or whether we need to use other
forms of support to try to improve the heart rate.
(31:19):
We want a newborn's heart rate to be over one
hundred at all times, and we assist either with the
heart rate or with breathing or both, and then we
start to look at the bigger picture in terms of
temperature control. So often, and what certainly what Charlotte and
Sam would have seen was one of the first things
that we do with the babies. We actually put them
in a bag. And I know that sounds really unusual,
(31:40):
but we use almost like an oversized ziplock bag because
one of the biggest problems with premature babies because they
come out wet, they don't have much fat on them,
if any, and although we are working under heaters, it's
a very very cold environment and so they lose temperature
very quickly. So the first, first first thing we do
before the baby lands on the resuscitation table is we
(32:03):
put them into a bag, and that's when we begin
the resuscitation attempts.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
After birth, the instinct of any mother is to hold
the baby and take them home. I know for both
of my babies, it was the first thing that I
wanted to do. But doctor Golly explains why the next
period of time in the nicqueue is so vital.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
After the birth, the instinct of any parent is to
hold that baby. And while sometimes there is this perception
that we are fighting against the parents, we have the
exact same instinct. We would love nothing more. Me certainly,
I would love nothing more than to put a baby
straight to a mum's chest and to have that connection
and that skin to skin time. The problem is is
(32:44):
that sometimes it's far too dangerous, and it's too dangerous
in this setting as it was with CoA, and also
certainly others where that kind of activity could result in
the baby not surviving. And so we have to make
sure that that baby is stable, as we talked about
from a breathing point of view, from a circulation, heart
(33:06):
rate point of view, and then there's all this other
long list of things that we need to consider. So
babies don't have any immune protection, you know, they barely
have a layer of skin, So handing a baby around,
having a baby on someone's chest, this poses an extreme
infection risk. And so we've got to be very, very,
very careful. We don't have visitors coming in and out
(33:29):
of a nicu, we don't have older siblings coming in playing,
and that's not because we're mean and nasty. It's just
simply because we always have the survival and outcome of
the newborn as our utmost priority. Everything we do in
a NICU is to the point a one of a
measurement in medicine in general. You know, if you calculate
(33:53):
a dose for a medicine and it comes out as
two hundred and forty eight, you can give two hundred
and fifty, that's fine. But in NICU you're giving two
hundred and forty seven point three four. You know, it
is really really exact, because small mistakes or small fluctuations
can be the difference between life and death, as Charlotte
and Sam experienced. You know, when you think about it
(34:15):
in its most simplest form, this is a baby that's
been born weeks before they were expecting to be and
they are intended to be, and so we are asking
of them an extraordinary amount. Where asked them to use
their lungs weeks before they were meant to be used, Well,
asked them to use their gut to feed, to get sugar,
and to get sustenance, and to grow weeks before it
(34:38):
was meant to be used their protective systems to fight infection,
all of these things, and they're not ready. It's quite
incredible in terms of the advances that we've made over
the years, what we can achieve now compared to even
just ten years ago. So we're not just helping these
babies survive, we're actually helping them thrive and lead normal
(35:00):
or close to normal lives, which is really really special
and it's incredible to be a part of. And Charlotte
and sam Co are really really lucky to be born
in this country at this time. I'm grateful that they've
shared their experience and I hope that those going through
a similar journey will be empowered from that.
Speaker 2 (35:23):
Thank you for joining us on Diary of a Birth,
where we celebrate all the amazing ways that we as
women bring life into the world. If you'd like to
share your birth story with us, we'd love to hear
from you. Details are in the show notes. Diary of
a Birth was hosted by me Kasenya Lukic with expert
input from doctor Gollie. This episode was produced by Tom
(35:43):
Lyon with audio production by Scott Stronik.
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