August 12, 2025 • 21 mins
On this weeks episode, Ksenija introduces us to a previous chat Mamamia's Jessie Stephens had with Prue Thomas. At 19 Prue was setting up for a function at work when she felt a sharp pain in her stomach. As the day went on, the pain increased, so Prue and her mum headed to the hospital. It was here, that Prue found out that her pain was actually labour. Prue was about to give birth, and up until that point, she didn't realise she was pregnant.
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Host: Jessie Stephens
Guests: Prue Thomas
Producer: Gia Moylan
Executive Producer: Elissa Ratliff
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Mama Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters
that this podcast is recorded on. We pay our respects
to elders past, present and emerging, and feel privileged to
continue the sharing of birth stories and knowledge that has
been a fundamental part of indigenous culture.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Hi.
Speaker 4 (00:45):
I'm Cassani Lukig and this is Diary of a birth.
On today's episode, we're revisiting a great conversation Jesse Stevens
had a few years ago with a young mum brew
was nineteen. She'd been experiencing some stomach aches, but had
always suffered from IBD.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
I didn't think much of it until.
Speaker 4 (01:05):
She was sitting in an emergency room and a doctor
pressed on her stomach. She didn't feel pain, but suddenly
she thought she'd peed, but to her surprise, it was
her water breaking. We'll let Jesse take.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
It from here.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
Can you tell me about the day that you started
to have a weird tummy ache that kind of stopped
you in your tracks.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
Well, I was at work, yep.
Speaker 5 (01:31):
I worked in hospitality and was setting up a function,
and it was early morning and I actually started to
get really bad lower back pain. Right, and was like, oh,
what is this. I've done something. I've hurt my back
moving furniture. And it started from there.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
And how old were you when you're working at this
hospitality job. Nineteen, so you're nineteen. You've got a bit
of a solo back, which happens when you're moving furniture
or a you're moving stuff all around the place. When
did it start to get more into your tummy?
Speaker 5 (02:00):
They sent me home early from my shift because I
had a sew back. Went home, and actually it was
when I got home, I was like, oh my god,
my tummy's hurting like it was swollen. So I had
no stomach as a pregnant person, and yeah, my stomach
started to just get swollen and expand, like to a
point where I can see people that are nine months
(02:21):
pregnant now and I go, oh, yeah, that's exactly what
my tummy looked like.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
But that was it.
Speaker 5 (02:26):
And I was at home with my sister and I
was like, I can't supposed to play netball. I said,
I can't play netball on my backs really saw I
mean so much pain, look at my stomach. My sister goes, oh, oh,
my col moum and their mum went calling an ambulance.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
Was it anything like period pain?
Speaker 1 (02:43):
It was worse, right.
Speaker 5 (02:44):
It started off like that lower back pain that you
get with periods and so on. But then it just
got worse and worse, and I was like, oh my god,
this is not normal. And I had IBS when I
was younger, yeah, and so I thought it was something
to do with that, because my stomach had just swollen
all of a sudden, And so that's why my mom
said to my sister, call an ambulance. She's got to
(03:05):
go to the hospital.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
So when you were in the ambulance on your way
and you're in pretty excruciating pain, did you think they
were going to look at you and go, all right,
this is an IBS flare, Yeah, like here's some medicine.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Yep. I thought it was a twisted bow.
Speaker 5 (03:17):
Like. I was like, oh my god, there, something's gone wrong.
The whole time I was thinking that, And so the
ambulance drivers were saying, they were like, okay, cool, it's
something to do with your bows.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
And you arrive at the hospital and they want to
take a little bit of a look. What do they
do in terms of investigating going too emergency?
Speaker 1 (03:37):
So by that time.
Speaker 5 (03:38):
My mum was there, yep, And we're sitting in an
emergency and the doctor comes over and just presses on
my stomach.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
Did it hurt when he pressed on your stomach?
Speaker 1 (03:46):
No?
Speaker 5 (03:47):
It wasn't like, you know, really tough, like there was pressure,
nothing that was excruciating. And yeah, pressed on my stomach
and pressed low, way down, and I was like, oh
my god. And he was like, what happened? And I
went I think I've just got my pants and he
was like, oh, I just disappeared for a bit.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Was there any relief when you wet your pants?
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Not really.
Speaker 5 (04:10):
I was more like just going, oh god, how apparent totally.
I was like, oh my god, embarrassing. And then I
was like, oh, that's not normal. And then he rolled
back in a monitor and put that over my stomach
and were like, so that wasn't you wetting your pants.
That was your water breaking and you're actually in labor.
Speaker 3 (04:30):
What went through your head in that moment?
Speaker 1 (04:35):
She panic?
Speaker 3 (04:36):
Yeah, like I said, oh my god, am I home?
Speaker 1 (04:39):
What what do you mean? And my Mum's going what
she can't be? And I was like, OK, how do.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
Is how how I've not been pregnant? No?
Speaker 1 (04:48):
And because I had my periods the whole way through.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
Can you describe that because I've heard this before with
people who have these surprise births every month. Were you're
getting your period?
Speaker 5 (04:59):
Yeah, probably not as heavy as what they were, but
they were coming, and like not something to make you go, oh.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
I haven't had my period at nine months.
Speaker 5 (05:07):
Yeah, maybe I should go and have a test or
maybe nothing to that extent. And I was like, that
doesn't make sense.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
And how about I see a woman at seven, eight,
nine months pregnant and you couldn't miss it when you
were at those months leaning up. I know that you
said in those final hours you were like, hang on,
what's happened to my stomach? But was there any sign
any weight gain, any bloating.
Speaker 5 (05:31):
There was, but not to the point where you see
a six seven months pregnant lady. It was just a
bit of a belly. Yeah, And I, you know, finished
high school, being nonschoolies felt you know, it's just wait
because I've been out partying. Yeah, you know, nothing to
the point of there's an actual live human growing about.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
A baby kicking? Did you ever have that?
Speaker 1 (05:57):
No?
Speaker 5 (05:58):
There was nothing to that, Like, so you know, how
you see women that go oh look and the leg's
going yeah, nothing, nothing like that. But like I remember
like lying on the lounge one night with my sister
and I was going, look like I can move, I
can move this thing, and like my sister going, oh,
that's gross your bows And I was.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
Like, this has gotten out of hand totally. It was,
And how about I'm morning sickness.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
No morning sickness?
Speaker 3 (06:23):
So looking back, was there anything when you're in that
state of shock? Are you even able to go back
and go oh maybe that was a sign.
Speaker 5 (06:30):
Or the only thing that really sticks out is for
my nineteenth birthday, I had all my friends come over
and we were going to a nightclub and we were
having cake and everything before at home before we went out,
and my sister said something or one of my friends
said something, and I got really emotional.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Right, and that was like out of Cara. Yeah, Like
I was like, why am my office on?
Speaker 5 (06:53):
Like really crying about something really silly that happened, but
like to the point where I had to like, oh
my god, and went upstairs to my room and had
to be cry, and then came back down and went
out with all my friends. That's so interesting, But that's
the only thing, like, looking back, I got, oh, yeah,
that probably makes sense.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
Were you worried at nineteen that your mum or your
dad would be.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Mad at you?
Speaker 3 (07:16):
Was that a factor?
Speaker 5 (07:18):
It went through my mind, but not to the point
of them thinking less of me or disowning me or
anything like that. They're very, very supportive, and they were
very supportive in all those early stages.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
So did you have a sense when you're told you're
in labor, you're nineteen, you have not mentally prepared for this.
Let alone, don't even get to the baby labor. You
haven't prepared for that. Did you just feel so trapped
in that moment of just like, how am I going
to get this out of me?
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Yeah? I had no idea.
Speaker 5 (07:52):
The only thing that was quite comforting about was obviously
my mum was there, and there was a lovely midwife,
like lovely who just made everything okay. I'm not a
big panicker anyway to go okay whatever, But I think
you know it went out that you did know relief,
(08:14):
so everyone was just really calm. I didn't know what
I was doing. I think that helped. That was just
there going it's okay, you know, this is what you've
got to do and explained it all and there was
no drugs. It was just the little green whistle that
I had.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
And how was saying, were you in labor then? So
you started feeling that in the morning during your shift?
When did you actually give birth to the baby?
Speaker 1 (08:39):
Two twenty oh that's quick.
Speaker 5 (08:42):
Yeah, So obviously they said to me afterwards that your
labor started with that pain. And that would have been
maybe eight o'clock in the morning, seven or eight o'clock
in the morning, and then went home at lunchtime ish,
because I remember we had to play netball at eleven
o'clock or something, and so it was just before that
and I was like, I can't go to netball to
(09:02):
my sister, so yeah, and then taken to the hospital
and I.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
Had her at too. So it was really quite quick
two hours if that.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
As you say, you had the whistle, but was the
pain pretty much can't even handle it towards the end
because you've not had an eppy dural or anything like that.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Nothing.
Speaker 5 (09:20):
No, it just felt like you just needed to push,
like everything was just pushing down. I wasn't in any pain,
and even like you know, pushing her out was painful.
But all I remember doing is just swearing a lot,
going oh oh oh, and that was it.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
Can you talk me through what that does to your
head in terms of the level of shock. Because your
baby girl comes out, that must have been beautiful and exciting.
But this also is not how you thought your day
was going. No, in terms of shock, what are the
next few hours? Like, how do you get your head
around what's happened?
Speaker 5 (10:01):
It was just a lot of staring at her in
a non creepy way, but just going oh god, oh
my god, that just happened. It was shock, but it
wasn't a terrible shock. It was just like, oh God,
this has happened, and now I have to.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
Think about it.
Speaker 5 (10:20):
But what I'm going to do? What's my life going
to be?
Speaker 4 (10:24):
Like?
Speaker 5 (10:25):
Am I going to keep her? So there was all
that kind of talk with you know, my mom and
my dad at that point he'd come in, so both
my parents were there when I had her, so that
was quite nice.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
They were both there.
Speaker 5 (10:36):
But yeah, it was just that, right, okay, this is happening.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
Were you living at home at the time, Yes, So
I imagine there wasn't.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
A cot handy nothing.
Speaker 3 (10:49):
Was it you that went Okay, we've got to set
this up. Or was it your parents that went we
know what step comes next?
Speaker 5 (10:55):
It was my ear, It was my parents, So my
mom and my dad really just sort of stepped it
up and contacted everyone, and it's sort of I live
in the eastern suburbs and so it sort of spread
like wildfire that I just had a baby. So all
my friends were playing netball at the same time as
my sister and you know, had sort of said, oh,
(11:15):
I've pres gone to the hospital or something's happened, and
mom called my sister and told her and she came
up and then had said to my close girlfriends, this
is what's happened. So they all came up to the hospital,
and they got told at the hospital from my mom
who went out and said, oh, you're all aunties. So
they had no idea and so they all came in
and were just in shock too. Were they excited they were,
(11:39):
I think they were more in shockgoing we just thought
you didn't want to play netball, And then it just
sort of spread that they told their parents and everyone
just sort of was like, right, we know she's got
nothing because it's you know, no one new, so it
was just people all banded together and I got a bassinette.
Everyone went out and bought baby clothes everything. So it
(12:03):
was just a nice feeling to know that, you know,
the group of people that I've grown up with all
banded together and their parents and set it all up.
So I went home. Probably I stayed in the hospital
longer than you, because obviously I was still in shock
and they needed to know teach me everything. So no,
(12:25):
like I had done none of the prenatal classes, so
I had to go to all the classes postnatal, like
how to change a happy, how to breastfeed, how to
you know, barth the baby, how to do all this stuff?
Speaker 3 (12:37):
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 5 (12:38):
So yeah, staying longer than expected, probably five days, and
then went home to what was a set up nursery.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
Were you someone who as a teenager had thought much
about having kids?
Speaker 1 (12:54):
No?
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Right, how about in terms of if you saw a
baby or whatever, were you maternal or were you kind
of indifferent?
Speaker 1 (13:02):
I wasn't maternal. That's an awful thing to say.
Speaker 3 (13:05):
No, I think most women feel like that.
Speaker 5 (13:08):
I'm not anyone that thought I would not that I
would never have children, But I was never thinking, right.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
This is my plan.
Speaker 5 (13:15):
I'm going to meet to the man in my dreams
and you know we're gonna fall pregnant and have millions
of babies and baba nah. Not a fairy tale kind
of person. But it just happened.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
I guess. The other question from that story is what
is going on with the father? Are you sitting there
going what do I need to tell him? What was
that like? Thinking about that conversation?
Speaker 1 (13:39):
It was awkward.
Speaker 5 (13:40):
Yeah, it was like weird because I was like, he
didn't know that I was pregnant.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
He wasn't a person I decided to have a.
Speaker 5 (13:46):
Child, you know, and it was just like how does
this happen? And then I was like, oh, I do
have to say something, Yeah, let's just leave it. It
was very much or do I really I don't know?
And then you know it was my mum and you know,
everyone sort of saying, well, he needs to know when
his parents need to know that their grandparents all that
(14:08):
kind of stuff, and then the conversation was just I've
got had a baby and it's yours and it was
not a nice conversation. It was a didn't really believe it,
and so that ended any contact.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
So it was father, you and the baby.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Yep.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
What did you name the baby?
Speaker 1 (14:28):
Megan?
Speaker 3 (14:28):
And when did you decide I can do.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
This straight away?
Speaker 3 (14:34):
When you saw her?
Speaker 4 (14:35):
Yep?
Speaker 3 (14:35):
Can you describe what that felt like, the moment that
you're staring into this face going, I don't know where
you came from, but is there that initial connection?
Speaker 1 (14:45):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (14:45):
Definitely it was a bit like, oh gosh, how do
I hold a baby? Yeah, after you just had it
and you're still, you know, having someone fix up your blows.
But yeah, just staring at her, I thought, Okay, I
can do this. I can this is my new life challenge.
Speaker 3 (15:06):
And the next few months you're obviously the first in
your group of friends to have a baby.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:12):
I would imagine even with your sister and stuff, that
wasn't you know, on the cards yet.
Speaker 4 (15:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
Do you look back on those months as predominantly challenging
or predominantly amazing or both?
Speaker 5 (15:22):
Probably a bit of both, because it was also at
a time where weird or just finished school. It was
all about going out on the weekends and I wasn't
able to do that, So in that sense it was challenging,
but it was I don't want to say the word
that I was sad, or depressed about it. I was
just like, Okay, that's fine, I can't do that stuff.
(15:45):
But then I would always go, well, you know what,
I've actually, you know, now, got this little human that's
relying on me. So when you weigh it up, well
let me go out and get drunk. Well stay at
home with a little human. But yeah, that's right that
you can just sort of, you know, snuggle with and
just stare at and and the getting up three or
four times during the night. You just sort of go, okay,
(16:07):
well I might have been getting home at this time anyway.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
So from those friends and from the community you were
saying that the word kind of spread like wildfire. At
any point, did you feel judged by people?
Speaker 1 (16:21):
Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 5 (16:23):
Were there comments or yeah there were comments. There were
comments from friends that were like, she's just ruined a life.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
And how did you respond to that kind of stuff?
Speaker 1 (16:32):
I still respond to that stuff.
Speaker 5 (16:33):
So this day, you know, I still have that in
the back of my mind that I'm going to prove
that you can actually do this, and I have. I've
had a great career and I've still got a great career.
I've got a great daughter who's turned out to be fantastic.
And some of these people that made these comments are
still in that insular world of where they are and
(16:56):
they haven't changed a lot. And I've you know, traveled
the world with my daughter.
Speaker 3 (17:01):
Hmmm.
Speaker 5 (17:02):
So it's definitely been comments. And I know, like people
probably you know, said way much more that I didn't
hear about. But yeah, there was some comments that I
was like, you know what, I'll prove you wrong.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
Sometimes you need that can start a little fire in
your back.
Speaker 5 (17:18):
Yeah, and it did because I thought, no, I'm not
gonna let having a child when you didn't know ruin
your career. You can still have a career, and you know,
it might just take a little bit longer to get
to the point where you need it to get to.
And it was hard, like when she was younger trying
to still work, but I managed it.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (17:40):
And how old is your daughter now?
Speaker 1 (17:42):
She's twenty one, she turns twenty two in June.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
Can she believe that at nineteen you were caring for
a baby.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
No?
Speaker 3 (17:51):
Do you look at her and just go, oh, my goodness,
I go.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
Thank goodness, you don't have a child. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (17:58):
And as you were bringing her up, especially in those
early years, were your parents instrumental and sort of helping
out with ay around.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
Yeah, yeah, they were great.
Speaker 5 (18:05):
So both my parents, both my sisters, my extended family,
and my meeting just fantastic. So my parents are divorced,
and I think by me having Meg it made them
have a relationship still s we were one then maybe
they wouldn't have had if I didn't have Meg.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
It's sort of kept us close.
Speaker 5 (18:26):
We have always been a close family, but it's definitely
brought everyone closer together.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
And it's babies do that.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
Yeah, and everyone can agree that babies are great.
Speaker 5 (18:35):
Yes, that's exactly right. It was lovely because it was,
you know, a surprise. Everyone had to adjust. It wasn't
just me that had to adjust. I've you know, both
my mum and dad and my sisters and we all
had to adjust to having just now this you know,
precious little baby.
Speaker 3 (18:51):
And yeah, oh that is just the most incredible story. Finally,
I wanted to ask, what did that experience teach you
about birth? Because there are people who wouldn't believe that
that can even happen, that when they fall pregnant it's
all about vitamins and doctor's appointments and don't do this
and don't do that, and it's such a miracle a
(19:13):
story like that. What did your experience that young teach
you about birth?
Speaker 5 (19:18):
It's a hard one because I didn't know, like you know,
there was nothing to know prior. So you know, even
my friends now that have all had babies or you know,
still pregnant, go, I can't do this and I can't
do that.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
Oh you can.
Speaker 5 (19:31):
You just got to look at it in a different way.
And you know, they actually use me as well. Look
what happened with brew and Meg.
Speaker 3 (19:37):
If she could do it.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
Yeah, so it is quite okay.
Speaker 5 (19:42):
But look, I think every birthing story is very different,
and every woman's very different. And regardless of how much
you want to say, this is what you need to
do and this is how you've got to follow and
you can't have this and you've got to make sure
you do X, Y and Z. That might be different
to another another woman. And I think that's what I
tell people. There was nothing before I went to the hospital.
(20:05):
There was nothing I can say this is how I
lived my life beforehand, because how I lived my life
beforehand was a nineteen year old who was girl who
liked going down to the pub and going out, so
I don't have anything up until that point.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
But all I can say is.
Speaker 5 (20:22):
That the pain you feel during labor, as soon as
you see a baby, you'd sort of forget about it.
And yes, you know you had pain, but you produced
a little baby out of it, and you sort of
go doesn't matter. Everything else is forgotten because now you've
got someone that you've got to look after for the
rest of your life.
Speaker 3 (20:39):
It's so incredible and I think that that's a credit
to you to be able to adapt to a circumstance
that is that out of your control. But you're exactly right.
I mean, to forge your career, that's a hurdle, but.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
You can still do it.
Speaker 3 (20:53):
Yeah, and maybe it doesn't look like the path that
someone else followed, but you get to do it with Meg.
Speaker 5 (20:59):
Yeah, and that's fun. That's exactly right, and we do
have lots of fun.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Thank you so much for joining. You're welcome.
Speaker 4 (21:12):
Thank you for listening to Diary of a Birth. If
you like our show, don't forget to subscribe and rate.
See you next week.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Bye.
You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Mama Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters
that this podcast is recorded on. We pay our respects
to elders past, present and emerging, and feel privileged to
continue the sharing of birth stories and knowledge that has
been a fundamental part of indigenous culture.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Hi.
Speaker 4 (00:45):
I'm Cassani Lukig and this is Diary of a birth.
On today's episode, we're revisiting a great conversation Jesse Stevens
had a few years ago with a young mum brew
was nineteen. She'd been experiencing some stomach aches, but had
always suffered from IBD.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
I didn't think much of it until.
Speaker 4 (01:05):
She was sitting in an emergency room and a doctor
pressed on her stomach. She didn't feel pain, but suddenly
she thought she'd peed, but to her surprise, it was
her water breaking. We'll let Jesse take.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
It from here.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
Can you tell me about the day that you started
to have a weird tummy ache that kind of stopped
you in your tracks.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
Well, I was at work, yep.
Speaker 5 (01:31):
I worked in hospitality and was setting up a function,
and it was early morning and I actually started to
get really bad lower back pain. Right, and was like, oh,
what is this. I've done something. I've hurt my back
moving furniture. And it started from there.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
And how old were you when you're working at this
hospitality job. Nineteen, so you're nineteen. You've got a bit
of a solo back, which happens when you're moving furniture
or a you're moving stuff all around the place. When
did it start to get more into your tummy?
Speaker 5 (02:00):
They sent me home early from my shift because I
had a sew back. Went home, and actually it was
when I got home, I was like, oh my god,
my tummy's hurting like it was swollen. So I had
no stomach as a pregnant person, and yeah, my stomach
started to just get swollen and expand, like to a
point where I can see people that are nine months
(02:21):
pregnant now and I go, oh, yeah, that's exactly what
my tummy looked like.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
But that was it.
Speaker 5 (02:26):
And I was at home with my sister and I
was like, I can't supposed to play netball. I said,
I can't play netball on my backs really saw I
mean so much pain, look at my stomach. My sister goes, oh, oh,
my col moum and their mum went calling an ambulance.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
Was it anything like period pain?
Speaker 1 (02:43):
It was worse, right.
Speaker 5 (02:44):
It started off like that lower back pain that you
get with periods and so on. But then it just
got worse and worse, and I was like, oh my god,
this is not normal. And I had IBS when I
was younger, yeah, and so I thought it was something
to do with that, because my stomach had just swollen
all of a sudden, And so that's why my mom
said to my sister, call an ambulance. She's got to
(03:05):
go to the hospital.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
So when you were in the ambulance on your way
and you're in pretty excruciating pain, did you think they
were going to look at you and go, all right,
this is an IBS flare, Yeah, like here's some medicine.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Yep. I thought it was a twisted bow.
Speaker 5 (03:17):
Like. I was like, oh my god, there, something's gone wrong.
The whole time I was thinking that, And so the
ambulance drivers were saying, they were like, okay, cool, it's
something to do with your bows.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
And you arrive at the hospital and they want to
take a little bit of a look. What do they
do in terms of investigating going too emergency?
Speaker 1 (03:37):
So by that time.
Speaker 5 (03:38):
My mum was there, yep, And we're sitting in an
emergency and the doctor comes over and just presses on
my stomach.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
Did it hurt when he pressed on your stomach?
Speaker 1 (03:46):
No?
Speaker 5 (03:47):
It wasn't like, you know, really tough, like there was pressure,
nothing that was excruciating. And yeah, pressed on my stomach
and pressed low, way down, and I was like, oh
my god. And he was like, what happened? And I
went I think I've just got my pants and he
was like, oh, I just disappeared for a bit.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Was there any relief when you wet your pants?
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Not really.
Speaker 5 (04:10):
I was more like just going, oh god, how apparent totally.
I was like, oh my god, embarrassing. And then I
was like, oh, that's not normal. And then he rolled
back in a monitor and put that over my stomach
and were like, so that wasn't you wetting your pants.
That was your water breaking and you're actually in labor.
Speaker 3 (04:30):
What went through your head in that moment?
Speaker 1 (04:35):
She panic?
Speaker 3 (04:36):
Yeah, like I said, oh my god, am I home?
Speaker 1 (04:39):
What what do you mean? And my Mum's going what
she can't be? And I was like, OK, how do.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
Is how how I've not been pregnant? No?
Speaker 1 (04:48):
And because I had my periods the whole way through.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
Can you describe that because I've heard this before with
people who have these surprise births every month. Were you're
getting your period?
Speaker 5 (04:59):
Yeah, probably not as heavy as what they were, but
they were coming, and like not something to make you go, oh.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
I haven't had my period at nine months.
Speaker 5 (05:07):
Yeah, maybe I should go and have a test or
maybe nothing to that extent. And I was like, that
doesn't make sense.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
And how about I see a woman at seven, eight,
nine months pregnant and you couldn't miss it when you
were at those months leaning up. I know that you
said in those final hours you were like, hang on,
what's happened to my stomach? But was there any sign
any weight gain, any bloating.
Speaker 5 (05:31):
There was, but not to the point where you see
a six seven months pregnant lady. It was just a
bit of a belly. Yeah, And I, you know, finished
high school, being nonschoolies felt you know, it's just wait
because I've been out partying. Yeah, you know, nothing to
the point of there's an actual live human growing about.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
A baby kicking? Did you ever have that?
Speaker 1 (05:57):
No?
Speaker 5 (05:58):
There was nothing to that, Like, so you know, how
you see women that go oh look and the leg's
going yeah, nothing, nothing like that. But like I remember
like lying on the lounge one night with my sister
and I was going, look like I can move, I
can move this thing, and like my sister going, oh,
that's gross your bows And I was.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
Like, this has gotten out of hand totally. It was,
And how about I'm morning sickness.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
No morning sickness?
Speaker 3 (06:23):
So looking back, was there anything when you're in that
state of shock? Are you even able to go back
and go oh maybe that was a sign.
Speaker 5 (06:30):
Or the only thing that really sticks out is for
my nineteenth birthday, I had all my friends come over
and we were going to a nightclub and we were
having cake and everything before at home before we went out,
and my sister said something or one of my friends
said something, and I got really emotional.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Right, and that was like out of Cara. Yeah, Like
I was like, why am my office on?
Speaker 5 (06:53):
Like really crying about something really silly that happened, but
like to the point where I had to like, oh
my god, and went upstairs to my room and had
to be cry, and then came back down and went
out with all my friends. That's so interesting, But that's
the only thing, like, looking back, I got, oh, yeah,
that probably makes sense.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
Were you worried at nineteen that your mum or your
dad would be.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Mad at you?
Speaker 3 (07:16):
Was that a factor?
Speaker 5 (07:18):
It went through my mind, but not to the point
of them thinking less of me or disowning me or
anything like that. They're very, very supportive, and they were
very supportive in all those early stages.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
So did you have a sense when you're told you're
in labor, you're nineteen, you have not mentally prepared for this.
Let alone, don't even get to the baby labor. You
haven't prepared for that. Did you just feel so trapped
in that moment of just like, how am I going
to get this out of me?
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Yeah? I had no idea.
Speaker 5 (07:52):
The only thing that was quite comforting about was obviously
my mum was there, and there was a lovely midwife,
like lovely who just made everything okay. I'm not a
big panicker anyway to go okay whatever, But I think
you know it went out that you did know relief,
(08:14):
so everyone was just really calm. I didn't know what
I was doing. I think that helped. That was just
there going it's okay, you know, this is what you've
got to do and explained it all and there was
no drugs. It was just the little green whistle that
I had.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
And how was saying, were you in labor then? So
you started feeling that in the morning during your shift?
When did you actually give birth to the baby?
Speaker 1 (08:39):
Two twenty oh that's quick.
Speaker 5 (08:42):
Yeah, So obviously they said to me afterwards that your
labor started with that pain. And that would have been
maybe eight o'clock in the morning, seven or eight o'clock
in the morning, and then went home at lunchtime ish,
because I remember we had to play netball at eleven
o'clock or something, and so it was just before that
and I was like, I can't go to netball to
(09:02):
my sister, so yeah, and then taken to the hospital
and I.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
Had her at too. So it was really quite quick
two hours if that.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
As you say, you had the whistle, but was the
pain pretty much can't even handle it towards the end
because you've not had an eppy dural or anything like that.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Nothing.
Speaker 5 (09:20):
No, it just felt like you just needed to push,
like everything was just pushing down. I wasn't in any pain,
and even like you know, pushing her out was painful.
But all I remember doing is just swearing a lot,
going oh oh oh, and that was it.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
Can you talk me through what that does to your
head in terms of the level of shock. Because your
baby girl comes out, that must have been beautiful and exciting.
But this also is not how you thought your day
was going. No, in terms of shock, what are the
next few hours? Like, how do you get your head
around what's happened?
Speaker 5 (10:01):
It was just a lot of staring at her in
a non creepy way, but just going oh god, oh
my god, that just happened. It was shock, but it
wasn't a terrible shock. It was just like, oh God,
this has happened, and now I have to.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
Think about it.
Speaker 5 (10:20):
But what I'm going to do? What's my life going
to be?
Speaker 4 (10:24):
Like?
Speaker 5 (10:25):
Am I going to keep her? So there was all
that kind of talk with you know, my mom and
my dad at that point he'd come in, so both
my parents were there when I had her, so that
was quite nice.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
They were both there.
Speaker 5 (10:36):
But yeah, it was just that, right, okay, this is happening.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
Were you living at home at the time, Yes, So
I imagine there wasn't.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
A cot handy nothing.
Speaker 3 (10:49):
Was it you that went Okay, we've got to set
this up. Or was it your parents that went we
know what step comes next?
Speaker 5 (10:55):
It was my ear, It was my parents, So my
mom and my dad really just sort of stepped it
up and contacted everyone, and it's sort of I live
in the eastern suburbs and so it sort of spread
like wildfire that I just had a baby. So all
my friends were playing netball at the same time as
my sister and you know, had sort of said, oh,
(11:15):
I've pres gone to the hospital or something's happened, and
mom called my sister and told her and she came
up and then had said to my close girlfriends, this
is what's happened. So they all came up to the hospital,
and they got told at the hospital from my mom
who went out and said, oh, you're all aunties. So
they had no idea and so they all came in
and were just in shock too. Were they excited they were,
(11:39):
I think they were more in shockgoing we just thought
you didn't want to play netball, And then it just
sort of spread that they told their parents and everyone
just sort of was like, right, we know she's got
nothing because it's you know, no one new, so it
was just people all banded together and I got a bassinette.
Everyone went out and bought baby clothes everything. So it
(12:03):
was just a nice feeling to know that, you know,
the group of people that I've grown up with all
banded together and their parents and set it all up.
So I went home. Probably I stayed in the hospital
longer than you, because obviously I was still in shock
and they needed to know teach me everything. So no,
(12:25):
like I had done none of the prenatal classes, so
I had to go to all the classes postnatal, like
how to change a happy, how to breastfeed, how to
you know, barth the baby, how to do all this stuff?
Speaker 3 (12:37):
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 5 (12:38):
So yeah, staying longer than expected, probably five days, and
then went home to what was a set up nursery.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
Were you someone who as a teenager had thought much
about having kids?
Speaker 1 (12:54):
No?
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Right, how about in terms of if you saw a
baby or whatever, were you maternal or were you kind
of indifferent?
Speaker 1 (13:02):
I wasn't maternal. That's an awful thing to say.
Speaker 3 (13:05):
No, I think most women feel like that.
Speaker 5 (13:08):
I'm not anyone that thought I would not that I
would never have children, But I was never thinking, right.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
This is my plan.
Speaker 5 (13:15):
I'm going to meet to the man in my dreams
and you know we're gonna fall pregnant and have millions
of babies and baba nah. Not a fairy tale kind
of person. But it just happened.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
I guess. The other question from that story is what
is going on with the father? Are you sitting there
going what do I need to tell him? What was
that like? Thinking about that conversation?
Speaker 1 (13:39):
It was awkward.
Speaker 5 (13:40):
Yeah, it was like weird because I was like, he
didn't know that I was pregnant.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
He wasn't a person I decided to have a.
Speaker 5 (13:46):
Child, you know, and it was just like how does
this happen? And then I was like, oh, I do
have to say something, Yeah, let's just leave it. It
was very much or do I really I don't know?
And then you know it was my mum and you know,
everyone sort of saying, well, he needs to know when
his parents need to know that their grandparents all that
(14:08):
kind of stuff, and then the conversation was just I've
got had a baby and it's yours and it was
not a nice conversation. It was a didn't really believe it,
and so that ended any contact.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
So it was father, you and the baby.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Yep.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
What did you name the baby?
Speaker 1 (14:28):
Megan?
Speaker 3 (14:28):
And when did you decide I can do.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
This straight away?
Speaker 3 (14:34):
When you saw her?
Speaker 4 (14:35):
Yep?
Speaker 3 (14:35):
Can you describe what that felt like, the moment that
you're staring into this face going, I don't know where
you came from, but is there that initial connection?
Speaker 1 (14:45):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (14:45):
Definitely it was a bit like, oh gosh, how do
I hold a baby? Yeah, after you just had it
and you're still, you know, having someone fix up your blows.
But yeah, just staring at her, I thought, Okay, I
can do this. I can this is my new life challenge.
Speaker 3 (15:06):
And the next few months you're obviously the first in
your group of friends to have a baby.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:12):
I would imagine even with your sister and stuff, that
wasn't you know, on the cards yet.
Speaker 4 (15:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
Do you look back on those months as predominantly challenging
or predominantly amazing or both?
Speaker 5 (15:22):
Probably a bit of both, because it was also at
a time where weird or just finished school. It was
all about going out on the weekends and I wasn't
able to do that, So in that sense it was challenging,
but it was I don't want to say the word
that I was sad, or depressed about it. I was
just like, Okay, that's fine, I can't do that stuff.
(15:45):
But then I would always go, well, you know what,
I've actually, you know, now, got this little human that's
relying on me. So when you weigh it up, well
let me go out and get drunk. Well stay at
home with a little human. But yeah, that's right that
you can just sort of, you know, snuggle with and
just stare at and and the getting up three or
four times during the night. You just sort of go, okay,
(16:07):
well I might have been getting home at this time anyway.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
So from those friends and from the community you were
saying that the word kind of spread like wildfire. At
any point, did you feel judged by people?
Speaker 1 (16:21):
Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 5 (16:23):
Were there comments or yeah there were comments. There were
comments from friends that were like, she's just ruined a life.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
And how did you respond to that kind of stuff?
Speaker 1 (16:32):
I still respond to that stuff.
Speaker 5 (16:33):
So this day, you know, I still have that in
the back of my mind that I'm going to prove
that you can actually do this, and I have. I've
had a great career and I've still got a great career.
I've got a great daughter who's turned out to be fantastic.
And some of these people that made these comments are
still in that insular world of where they are and
(16:56):
they haven't changed a lot. And I've you know, traveled
the world with my daughter.
Speaker 3 (17:01):
Hmmm.
Speaker 5 (17:02):
So it's definitely been comments. And I know, like people
probably you know, said way much more that I didn't
hear about. But yeah, there was some comments that I
was like, you know what, I'll prove you wrong.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
Sometimes you need that can start a little fire in
your back.
Speaker 5 (17:18):
Yeah, and it did because I thought, no, I'm not
gonna let having a child when you didn't know ruin
your career. You can still have a career, and you know,
it might just take a little bit longer to get
to the point where you need it to get to.
And it was hard, like when she was younger trying
to still work, but I managed it.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (17:40):
And how old is your daughter now?
Speaker 1 (17:42):
She's twenty one, she turns twenty two in June.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
Can she believe that at nineteen you were caring for
a baby.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
No?
Speaker 3 (17:51):
Do you look at her and just go, oh, my goodness,
I go.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
Thank goodness, you don't have a child. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (17:58):
And as you were bringing her up, especially in those
early years, were your parents instrumental and sort of helping
out with ay around.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
Yeah, yeah, they were great.
Speaker 5 (18:05):
So both my parents, both my sisters, my extended family,
and my meeting just fantastic. So my parents are divorced,
and I think by me having Meg it made them
have a relationship still s we were one then maybe
they wouldn't have had if I didn't have Meg.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
It's sort of kept us close.
Speaker 5 (18:26):
We have always been a close family, but it's definitely
brought everyone closer together.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
And it's babies do that.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
Yeah, and everyone can agree that babies are great.
Speaker 5 (18:35):
Yes, that's exactly right. It was lovely because it was,
you know, a surprise. Everyone had to adjust. It wasn't
just me that had to adjust. I've you know, both
my mum and dad and my sisters and we all
had to adjust to having just now this you know,
precious little baby.
Speaker 3 (18:51):
And yeah, oh that is just the most incredible story. Finally,
I wanted to ask, what did that experience teach you
about birth? Because there are people who wouldn't believe that
that can even happen, that when they fall pregnant it's
all about vitamins and doctor's appointments and don't do this
and don't do that, and it's such a miracle a
(19:13):
story like that. What did your experience that young teach
you about birth?
Speaker 5 (19:18):
It's a hard one because I didn't know, like you know,
there was nothing to know prior. So you know, even
my friends now that have all had babies or you know,
still pregnant, go, I can't do this and I can't
do that.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
Oh you can.
Speaker 5 (19:31):
You just got to look at it in a different way.
And you know, they actually use me as well. Look
what happened with brew and Meg.
Speaker 3 (19:37):
If she could do it.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
Yeah, so it is quite okay.
Speaker 5 (19:42):
But look, I think every birthing story is very different,
and every woman's very different. And regardless of how much
you want to say, this is what you need to
do and this is how you've got to follow and
you can't have this and you've got to make sure
you do X, Y and Z. That might be different
to another another woman. And I think that's what I
tell people. There was nothing before I went to the hospital.
(20:05):
There was nothing I can say this is how I
lived my life beforehand, because how I lived my life
beforehand was a nineteen year old who was girl who
liked going down to the pub and going out, so
I don't have anything up until that point.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
But all I can say is.
Speaker 5 (20:22):
That the pain you feel during labor, as soon as
you see a baby, you'd sort of forget about it.
And yes, you know you had pain, but you produced
a little baby out of it, and you sort of
go doesn't matter. Everything else is forgotten because now you've
got someone that you've got to look after for the
rest of your life.
Speaker 3 (20:39):
It's so incredible and I think that that's a credit
to you to be able to adapt to a circumstance
that is that out of your control. But you're exactly right.
I mean, to forge your career, that's a hurdle, but.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
You can still do it.
Speaker 3 (20:53):
Yeah, and maybe it doesn't look like the path that
someone else followed, but you get to do it with Meg.
Speaker 5 (20:59):
Yeah, and that's fun. That's exactly right, and we do
have lots of fun.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Thank you so much for joining. You're welcome.
Speaker 4 (21:12):
Thank you for listening to Diary of a Birth. If
you like our show, don't forget to subscribe and rate.
See you next week.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Bye.
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