February 25, 2025 • 24 mins
Sam Frost's journey to motherhood is the unfiltered story we all need to hear. From accidentally "baby trapping" her partner Jordy (her words!) to navigating pregnancy on crutches, she never expected her maternal instincts would be tested during a terrifying moment with baby Ted's heartbeat.
Sam gets brutally honest about ditching the pressure to breastfeed, why her partner needed more medical attention than her during labour (yes, really), and how she's approaching round two with a Nintendo DS and zero regrets. Through it all, she's learned that sometimes you just have to trust your gut over everyone else's advice.
Diary Of A Birth features mums telling their miraculous stories of bringing life into the world, If you’d like to share your birth story, we’d love to hear from you at podcast@mamamia.com.au or send us a voice note here.
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CREDITS:
Host: Ksenija Lukich
Birth Story: Sam Frost
Obstetrician & Gynaecologist: Dr. Bronwyn Devine
Executive Producer: Thom Lion
Audio Producer: Scott Stronach
Mamamia acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land we have recorded this podcast on, the Gadigal people of the Eora Nation. We pay our respects to their Elders past and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
You're listening to Amma Mia podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters
that this podcast is recorded on. We pay our respects
to elders past, present and emerging, and feel privileged to
continue the sharing of birth stories and knowledge that has
been a fundamental part of Indigenous culture. Hi.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
I'm Cassenia Lukisch and this is Diary of a birth.
Today's Mum is the perfect example of how mother's intuition
is often right faced with reduced fetal movement. She was
sure something was wrong, even when everyone else told her
not to worry.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
And I remember laying there all night, and this was
maybe two days after his due date. I just held
onto my tummy the whole time, just waiting and waiting
and waiting for him to kick, and he wouldn't do
his normal movements.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Thankfully, Bob arrived safe and sound, but not without a
little drama. Mum approaches her story with humor, grace, and
a little Nintendo DS.
Speaker 3 (01:25):
So if you've got Mario Kart on your Nintendo DS,
like every other mature thirty five year.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Old, you also probably know her. But she's sharing her
birth story for the first time with us here at
Diary of a Birth. A stable in Aussie media, she
rose to fame as Australia's first bachelorette and has been
charming us all ever since. So let's meet today's mum.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
I'm Sam Frost. This is the Diary of my birth
with Ted. My life before a baby was very busy.
I was working crazy hours, doing thirteen hour days, six
days a week, and it was very full on. I
(02:11):
trained a lot, I saw my friends a lot. I
loved a wine. I loved cheese. I'm just saying this
now because obviously I can't have those things, so they're
very high in my mind. In the forefront of my
mind is wine and geez right now. I felt like
I had a lot of love to give and I
was very much looking forward to being a mom. If
(02:31):
I could be a mum, Yeah, I think I had
a lot of dreams and aspirations to do that and
feel that part of my life. But I was also
thirty two. I think when I fell pregnant, well, thirty
three anyway, whatever something. I'm almost thirty six, so you
can do the math. And I was really nervous that
(02:52):
I couldn't fell pregnant. I was so nervous about it.
It was something that I constantly thought about. I have
girlfriends that have struggled with fertility and have spent years
and years and years yearning and trying, and I saw
their grief. So I was very very nervous that it
wasn't going to happen for me. And then I met Jordi,
my partner, Jeordie, and then within I think about four
(03:15):
months if you do the math, I think about four
months I was pregnant with Jed. I always make the
joke that I baby trapped Jordy because I thought it
was going to take a really long time. Because, as
I said, I have girlfriends that have been trying and
trying and trying, and I thought, I'm getting older. I
think you're the one. We were very very privileged to
fall pregnant quite quickly. Yeah, it was exciting. It was
(03:37):
nerve wracking. I didn't know what to expect.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
Unfortunately, Sam was struck with some pretty nasty morning sickness,
which as we all know, can strike it any time
of the day.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
I became very very sick quite early on, so it
was hard to enjoy it at the start, and I thought,
what is this Because my sister had beautiful pregnancy. My
sister is a magical, mythical creature that just found so
much peace and happiness, and she's preezed through her pregnancy.
(04:08):
I had unrealistic expectations, I think, when it came to pregnancy,
and then when I was like on the couch for months,
months vomiting, I couldn't keep any down, just like extreme
nausea and fatigue, and it was just, yeah, it wasn't
(04:29):
a fun time. So that that sort of took over
my mind a bit, and I was like, is this
what this is going to be? Have I made a mistake?
You think that when you're so sick and you didn't
really expect it, you think, oh God, is this going
to be okay? I was sick for the majority of
the pregnancy. I found it hard to really get into
(04:52):
a groove of enjoying pregnancy. And then like I was
on crutches for some of the time as well, because
I'd rolled my ankle and I'd sprain all these tendons
and whatever they're called, and so I was on crutches
for a bit of it, and it was just it
was just not a fun time being sick. That entire
pregnancy and then towards the end, I was like a
(05:13):
huge whale and I was pretty keen to get this
baby out of there. And I was excited as well.
I was looking forward to meeting this little guy. I
knew all having a baby boy very early on, so
I just wanted to meet my son. I wanted to
get started, and I was excited for that.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
As a Jude date passed, Sam's impatience turned to concern
when her little man stopped his usual two am backflips.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
I think women who were pregnant will understand how you
get into a rhythm with your baby. You feel their movements,
you know what they're doing, like at any time, you
know that he falls asleep for three hours and then
he wakes up for three hours and starts kicking and moving,
and you get really in tune with each other and
(05:59):
each other's movements. And my son was very active inside
my tummy. He was you know, he loved to kick
kicked my ribs out, which was really fun as well.
But yeah, he was a very active little kid in there,
and so I knew what times he would wake up
and start kicking around. And I was really sweet and
I enjoyed that. But towards the end my jewe date,
I remember I was a couple of days over my
(06:19):
due date, and I stopped feeling him move. And that's
a really obviously wiring and stressful time. And then you
think to yourself, maybe it's me, Maybe I'm just not thinking,
maybe I'm maybe I'm just stressed, and you just doubt
yourself so much. And I remember laying there all night,
(06:41):
and this was maybe two days after his due date.
I just held onto my tummy the whole time, just
waiting and waiting and waiting for him to kick, and
he wouldn't do his normal movements. It was two am,
and usually he has like a really fun time for
about an hour at two am, and he wasn't doing that.
I knew he was okay because I could still feel
subtle movements, but he wasn't as active as he normally was.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
Wanting to ease her concerns, Sam asked her medical team
to check her out.
Speaker 3 (07:12):
So I went to the hospital the next morning and
I had my appointment and I said, look, he's not moving.
He's usually very active and he's not. And I was
really obviously quite anxious, and I've never done this before.
So I thought, maybe it's normal. Maybe they stopped moving
when they're about to be born. I don't know. And
(07:32):
then the midwife hooked me up to the machine, she
checked him out. She's like, he's there, he's healthy, he's fine,
and it gave me a little bit of reassurance. And
then I thought, oh, maybe this is just what happens.
And so she sent me home and she said, let
me know how you go tonight, and if you still
aren't feeling him move, you can give us a call
tomorrow anyway, And so that whole day and night, I
(07:54):
was like waiting and waiting, and I was like constantly
touching my stomach and waiting for him to move, and
he wasn't moving, and I became quite distressed and worried
about him. And I'm sure that that made him. You know,
we're so in tune with each other, so I'm sure
that that might have made him feel I don't know.
I knew it wasn't good. And so again the next time,
(08:20):
he wasn't moving, and I thought, fuck this, I'm going
into the hospital. So the next morning I went to
the hospital and I was like, he's not moving. I
don't know what to tell you, but I'm not happy
and I'm really worried about him. Anyway, they hooked me
up to the machines again and they were like, all right,
let's have a look at him. And then you can
see the worry on their face when they're like, oh no.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
And that's why they call it mother's intuition. Mama always
knows coming up.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
Georgie said to the midwife, Hey, I don't want to
be this guy, but I have a cracking headache. Do
you have any panetol? And I'm like, right, are you
kidding me?
Speaker 1 (09:09):
After heading to the hospital for the second time, concerned
for the welfare of her baby, Sam's medical team gave
her some unexpected news.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
And they're trying to be really rare, but I could
tell something wasn't quite right because then they kept coming
in checking and they were checking to see that the
little heartbeats stickerus. We're in the right spot. Obviously, you
can tell that I have like a medical deary and
I have all these fancy words. So they kept making
sure that everything was in the right spot. And I
(09:39):
was like, I haven't moved, and that have you moved?
I'm like no, and they're like okay, and they're like,
everything's fine. I mean, he's there, and then I think
it was about an hour later, they came in and
they're like, okay, right, we're not happy at all. His
heart beats her regular. We think that he stopped getting
nutrients from the placenta, so we're going to get him
out right now, you know. And I just thought it
(10:00):
was a perfect example of mother's intuition. And I cannot
stress enough how much you just have to listen to
your own body, because I knew that something wasn't quite right.
And if I had just left it and thought maybe
this is just normal or whatever, you just don't know
what could have happened. So I'm just really glad that
(10:20):
I trusted myself enough to say, actually, I'm not happy
with this, and I went back there. Then I induced
me because I was quite happy with my cervix or something.
I don't know. They're like, it's stretching enough, and I
was like, okay, cool. So then I got induced and
Ted was born five hours later, so they got him
out nice and quick, and then once he came out,
(10:42):
he was fine, but Jordi, my partner, was stressed, and
of course like running around with his head chopped off,
being like, are you okay? Do you need anything? La?
Speaker 4 (10:51):
La lah?
Speaker 3 (10:51):
And I was like, don't you have people to text?
Can't you sit on the couch and just do something else.
I'm having a great time reading my book, texting my friends,
like I'm in labor having a baby. So that was fun,
and yes, it was a very very peaceful time. Actually,
I will say it was quite a funny. Thing that
I give my partner a high time about. Is when
I was like going through the contractions and having like
(11:15):
all the pain in the world, Jordie said to the midwife, Hey,
I don't want to be this guy, but cracking headache.
Do you have any pan Ado? And I'm like, are
you kidding me? Anyway, So poor Geordie had a headache. Anyway,
we got that sorted and he had some water and
some panadolts so that so that was nice.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
Sometimes men can be so hysterical.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
So then my son was born and it was something
that I'll never forget. I can't actually describe the feeling
of what it was like when I first held him.
It was like something higher than me and it felt
very spiritual. I know some people don't have that feeling.
But yeah, for me, it was the most incredible feeling
(12:03):
in the world. And him getting pulled out and him
being on my chest for the first time, I just
was so overwhelmed with emotions of love and connection and
I just thought, but it's like a feeling that you
(12:24):
can't describe. You're like, this person is my person, and
it feels like he's what you've been waiting for your
whole life. I feel really much sure, you know, you
just think, ah, that's what's been missing, is my baby.
And I will never forget that feeling, and I'll never
(12:44):
forget how peaceful I felt and how peaceful he felt.
And my partner Jordie will describe it. He says it
was the most beautiful thing he's ever witnessed. Yeah, it
was something beyond me and beyond I think our physical experience,
just the connection of a mother and a baby, and
I'll never forget that. And we still have that, you know,
(13:06):
I still look at him and think, Wow, you're my baby,
and for the rest of our lives we're going to
be entwined and connected. And I think that that's one
of the most beautiful things in the world.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
Sam was in awe of a new little bundle. But
the challenges don't stop when labor is over. The fourth
trimester is full of learnings for mum and bub.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
I was in this beautiful love bubble with my beautiful son,
and then came the fun part of breastfeeding. I certainly
struggled pretty much straight away breastfeeding. The midwives were very
encouraging of breastfeeding, obviously, and we all know the health benefits.
We all know bonding, we all know all the things
(13:52):
that you're supposed to know about breastfeeding. Everyone tells you,
but they don't tell you is what happens when you
can't or what happens when you struggle. I think one
of the biggest things that I struggled with is the
pressure of breastfeeding and the judgment of struggling. And I
(14:14):
was breastfeeding and my nipples became very cracked bleeding. It
was an extremely painful experience for me. I got mastitis,
I think quite early on, very quickly. I remember going
home from the hospital and I just burst into tears
(14:35):
and I was hysterically crying because I couldn't breastfit ted
and I was really struggling. I was in so much
pain and the only advice that I got was to
keep trying. But it was so painful. I remember a
specific moment that made me reroute my opinion on breastfeeding
(14:58):
and what I was going to do my plan. I guess.
I think Ted was probably very young. He was probably
about two or three weeks old, and he was crying,
and he was really crying, and my boobs were bleeding,
pussy horrible. It was awful chat and just in a
(15:22):
world of pain, and I remember thinking, I don't want him.
I don't want to hold him, I don't want to
feed him, I don't want him to come near me.
And that was the moment I thought, this isn't right.
It's not worth it for me, because I have this
beautiful bond with my son and it's the most important
thing in the world now with all the pressure and
(15:43):
judgment and opinions from everyone. Every time you try to
talk to someone saying I'm really struggling with breastfeeding, the
advice would be keep trying, keep trying, keep trying. And
I just wanted someone to say, you know what, it's
okay if you can't. That's all I wanted. I just
wanted someone to reassure me. So no one really did that,
(16:03):
but I ended up in the moment where I felt
like I didn't want to hold my son. I ended
up feeding him that feed because he obviously needed it,
and I sent my partner to the chemist and I said,
you please get a breast pump, a bottle and formula,
and let's just try something else. The moment I changed
(16:29):
from breastfeeding to bottle feeding, my life became immediately better.
I became more peaceful, I was happier, Ted was happier.
He was getting fed, and it just became so much easier.
And I'm not saying it's for everyone. And I know
a lot of people love breastfeeding and that's perfect for
(16:50):
you guys, but I think that what we do need
to talk about, and what's not talked about enough, is
some people can't and some people really struggle. And it's okay,
like it's okay to bottlefeed, and if you can't do it,
then your mental health and your connection with your baby,
and a fed baby is way more important than anything else.
And he was like full, and then he was chunky
(17:10):
and happy and like sleeping well, and I was sleeping well,
and it was so much better. The advice I would
give pregnant women who feel like they're not being listened
(17:33):
to by medical professionals is to always trust your intuition.
I think mama's intuition is far more switched on and
in tune than anything they will say.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
And with a second bub on the way has sammed
on anything differently this time around.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
I'm a lot more laid back this second pregnancy. To
be honest, I actually couldn't remember how many weeks I
was and I had to look it up and I
was like, oh, I'm twenty three weeks. But I had
no idea. When I was pregnant with Ted. I was like,
here's the size of banana, and he's going to be
feeling this, and this is what he's feeling now and
this baby, I'm like, ah, he's alright in there. I'm
sure he is, but yeah, I mean like in feeling kicking.
(18:12):
And I think I feel a lot more relaxed his
second pregnancy. I'm also really mindful that the birth is
probably going to be different. The one thing I did
for my first pregnancy, I didn't have a plan because
I had seen so many women and friends and relatives
that have had these great birthing plans and nothing ever
(18:35):
goes that way. So I didn't have that. I just thought,
you know, what's meant to be will be, and I'm
just going to write it out. And that's the same
as what I'm doing now. And now you know I've
got a low lying placenta. So there's chat about potentially
having a cesarean. I'm like, I don't care. I want
my baby to be healthy and that's all that matters
to me. So yeah, I think I'm a lot more relaxed.
(18:55):
There's a difference in having a baby in your mid thirties.
I think it comes with a wisdom and I just
think you know yourself better because I think that if
I was in my twenties and I've had girlfriends have
babies in their twenties, I just don't think you're self
assured enough to back yourself in situations when you're being
(19:20):
ghastly from medical professionals. I think that if I had
this experience in my twenties, I would probably be a
lot more anxious. I would probably be a lot more doubtful.
I would probably be Yeah, I just know it would
have hit me harder and affected my mental health. More.
But now that I'm in my thirties, I think that
I'm a lot more. Yeah, self assured.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
But even if this labor is completely different to her first,
Sam has an essential item for her hospital bag.
Speaker 3 (19:50):
Well, my hospital bag is I actually packed my Nintendo DS.
I don't know why people don't think about these things. Like,
you're in hospital for a long time. Sometimes the baby's
not going to come out for a while, So if
you've got Mario Kart on your Nintendo DS, like every
other mature thirty five year old, it's like me and
(20:11):
the teenage boys all pack our DSS when we go
to hospital. But yeah, I have I packed my Nintendo
and this time I would people probab probably won't like it,
but I'll probably pack a breast pump just in case,
in case I can't breastfeed again, I might do that.
But yeah, so those are the things, and pan it
off for Jordie.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
Here on Diary of a Birth, we are lucky enough
to have the expert input of medical professionals. Today, we
have obstetrician and gynecologist doctor Bromwin Devine to answer some
of our burning questions. I wanted to know when is
reduced fetal movement cause for concern.
Speaker 5 (20:53):
Okay, so we take reduced fetal movement really seriously. And
having said that, a lot of the time, when people
feel their babies moving less, they take themselves into hospital,
which we encourage them to do, and we pop them
on the monitoring.
Speaker 4 (21:08):
And the baby responds to the monitoring.
Speaker 5 (21:11):
And moves around and we get a lovely CTG heart
rate trace and everything's beautiful and reassuring.
Speaker 4 (21:18):
That happens so much, and that's what we love.
Speaker 5 (21:23):
But there are a proportion of bubbies that do stop
moving because they're not happy with their entry you trine environment.
They're starting to feel that they're being compromised. They might
have the cord around their body or around their neck,
they may have reduced blood flow in the placenta, or
there's some condition there that's making them unwell. And they
will often tell us that by reducing their movements they
(21:45):
can serve their energy because they know that times are tough.
Speaker 4 (21:49):
So it is a really good way for us to
know if babies are not well, and so we do
encourage people to come into hospital if they are not
happy with their freedal movements, and if that means they
have to come back day after day. Having said that,
if they come in and they're not reassured, then we
will do additional tests. We'll do ultrasounds, we'll do special
(22:12):
blood tests.
Speaker 5 (22:13):
And if people continue to be not reassured and the
babies at a gestation where we can safely deliver them,
then we will often go ahead and either induce labor
or sometimes we'll need to do us as air insection,
depending on how happy or unhappy the baby is. So
fetal movement a really good indicator of bubbs being happy.
(22:36):
Women will often find they've got reduced movements, but the
bubby is actually fine. So it's not that you know,
it's always a cause for concern, but we always tell
people to take it seriously and contact your hospital if
you're not reassured by your movements.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
And Sam mentioned that her placenta is low lying this
time around, what does that mean for labor?
Speaker 5 (22:57):
So certainly placentas have got a lifeline like everything else. Really,
they've got a time where they do stop working as effectively,
and for some people that might be close to forty weeks,
and for other people that might be beyond forty one
weeks or even up to as close as forty two
weeks for some people, but sometime between hugely for most pregnancies,
(23:19):
between the due date and a little bit beyond the
due date, the placenta will start to get a little
bit start to run out of steam. Sometimes, when there's
pregnancies that are complicated by say high blood pressure or
diabetes or other sort of circumstances that can compromise beat
or blood flow or blood flow in the placenter, we
may find that bubbies stop growing because they're getting fewer
(23:42):
nutrients in the placenta much earlier on. Sometimes that happens
as early as sort of twenty four weeks or twenty
six weeks, and we end up keeping a very close
eye on babies that at that time until we can
safely deliver them.
Speaker 4 (23:54):
But all placentas have sort of got a.
Speaker 5 (23:56):
Time where they run out of steam, and for some
people that does happen soon after forty weeks.
Speaker 4 (24:01):
It's one of the reasons why we see.
Speaker 5 (24:03):
You so frequently towards the end of the pregnancy, to
make sure your baby's still moving, to make sure your
blood pressure is still good, to make sure you're still
measuring well, and all the tests that we do to
reassure us that things are going well are still going well.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
Diary of a Birth was hosted by me Kassenia Lukitch
with expert input from doctor Bronwin Divine. This episode was
produced by Tom Lyon and myself Kassenie Lukitch, with audio
production by Scott Stronik,
You're listening to Amma Mia podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters
that this podcast is recorded on. We pay our respects
to elders past, present and emerging, and feel privileged to
continue the sharing of birth stories and knowledge that has
been a fundamental part of Indigenous culture. Hi.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
I'm Cassenia Lukisch and this is Diary of a birth.
Today's Mum is the perfect example of how mother's intuition
is often right faced with reduced fetal movement. She was
sure something was wrong, even when everyone else told her
not to worry.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
And I remember laying there all night, and this was
maybe two days after his due date. I just held
onto my tummy the whole time, just waiting and waiting
and waiting for him to kick, and he wouldn't do
his normal movements.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Thankfully, Bob arrived safe and sound, but not without a
little drama. Mum approaches her story with humor, grace, and
a little Nintendo DS.
Speaker 3 (01:25):
So if you've got Mario Kart on your Nintendo DS,
like every other mature thirty five year.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Old, you also probably know her. But she's sharing her
birth story for the first time with us here at
Diary of a Birth. A stable in Aussie media, she
rose to fame as Australia's first bachelorette and has been
charming us all ever since. So let's meet today's mum.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
I'm Sam Frost. This is the Diary of my birth
with Ted. My life before a baby was very busy.
I was working crazy hours, doing thirteen hour days, six
days a week, and it was very full on. I
(02:11):
trained a lot, I saw my friends a lot. I
loved a wine. I loved cheese. I'm just saying this
now because obviously I can't have those things, so they're
very high in my mind. In the forefront of my
mind is wine and geez right now. I felt like
I had a lot of love to give and I
was very much looking forward to being a mom. If
(02:31):
I could be a mum, Yeah, I think I had
a lot of dreams and aspirations to do that and
feel that part of my life. But I was also
thirty two. I think when I fell pregnant, well, thirty
three anyway, whatever something. I'm almost thirty six, so you
can do the math. And I was really nervous that
(02:52):
I couldn't fell pregnant. I was so nervous about it.
It was something that I constantly thought about. I have
girlfriends that have struggled with fertility and have spent years
and years and years yearning and trying, and I saw
their grief. So I was very very nervous that it
wasn't going to happen for me. And then I met Jordi,
my partner, Jeordie, and then within I think about four
(03:15):
months if you do the math, I think about four
months I was pregnant with Jed. I always make the
joke that I baby trapped Jordy because I thought it
was going to take a really long time. Because, as
I said, I have girlfriends that have been trying and
trying and trying, and I thought, I'm getting older. I
think you're the one. We were very very privileged to
fall pregnant quite quickly. Yeah, it was exciting. It was
(03:37):
nerve wracking. I didn't know what to expect.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
Unfortunately, Sam was struck with some pretty nasty morning sickness,
which as we all know, can strike it any time
of the day.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
I became very very sick quite early on, so it
was hard to enjoy it at the start, and I thought,
what is this Because my sister had beautiful pregnancy. My
sister is a magical, mythical creature that just found so
much peace and happiness, and she's preezed through her pregnancy.
(04:08):
I had unrealistic expectations, I think, when it came to pregnancy,
and then when I was like on the couch for months,
months vomiting, I couldn't keep any down, just like extreme
nausea and fatigue, and it was just, yeah, it wasn't
(04:29):
a fun time. So that that sort of took over
my mind a bit, and I was like, is this
what this is going to be? Have I made a mistake?
You think that when you're so sick and you didn't
really expect it, you think, oh God, is this going
to be okay? I was sick for the majority of
the pregnancy. I found it hard to really get into
(04:52):
a groove of enjoying pregnancy. And then like I was
on crutches for some of the time as well, because
I'd rolled my ankle and I'd sprain all these tendons
and whatever they're called, and so I was on crutches
for a bit of it, and it was just it
was just not a fun time being sick. That entire
pregnancy and then towards the end, I was like a
(05:13):
huge whale and I was pretty keen to get this
baby out of there. And I was excited as well.
I was looking forward to meeting this little guy. I
knew all having a baby boy very early on, so
I just wanted to meet my son. I wanted to
get started, and I was excited for that.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
As a Jude date passed, Sam's impatience turned to concern
when her little man stopped his usual two am backflips.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
I think women who were pregnant will understand how you
get into a rhythm with your baby. You feel their movements,
you know what they're doing, like at any time, you
know that he falls asleep for three hours and then
he wakes up for three hours and starts kicking and moving,
and you get really in tune with each other and
(05:59):
each other's movements. And my son was very active inside
my tummy. He was you know, he loved to kick
kicked my ribs out, which was really fun as well.
But yeah, he was a very active little kid in there,
and so I knew what times he would wake up
and start kicking around. And I was really sweet and
I enjoyed that. But towards the end my jewe date,
I remember I was a couple of days over my
(06:19):
due date, and I stopped feeling him move. And that's
a really obviously wiring and stressful time. And then you
think to yourself, maybe it's me, Maybe I'm just not thinking,
maybe I'm maybe I'm just stressed, and you just doubt
yourself so much. And I remember laying there all night,
(06:41):
and this was maybe two days after his due date.
I just held onto my tummy the whole time, just
waiting and waiting and waiting for him to kick, and
he wouldn't do his normal movements. It was two am,
and usually he has like a really fun time for
about an hour at two am, and he wasn't doing that.
I knew he was okay because I could still feel
subtle movements, but he wasn't as active as he normally was.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
Wanting to ease her concerns, Sam asked her medical team
to check her out.
Speaker 3 (07:12):
So I went to the hospital the next morning and
I had my appointment and I said, look, he's not moving.
He's usually very active and he's not. And I was
really obviously quite anxious, and I've never done this before.
So I thought, maybe it's normal. Maybe they stopped moving
when they're about to be born. I don't know. And
(07:32):
then the midwife hooked me up to the machine, she
checked him out. She's like, he's there, he's healthy, he's fine,
and it gave me a little bit of reassurance. And
then I thought, oh, maybe this is just what happens.
And so she sent me home and she said, let
me know how you go tonight, and if you still
aren't feeling him move, you can give us a call
tomorrow anyway, And so that whole day and night, I
(07:54):
was like waiting and waiting, and I was like constantly
touching my stomach and waiting for him to move, and
he wasn't moving, and I became quite distressed and worried
about him. And I'm sure that that made him. You know,
we're so in tune with each other, so I'm sure
that that might have made him feel I don't know.
I knew it wasn't good. And so again the next time,
(08:20):
he wasn't moving, and I thought, fuck this, I'm going
into the hospital. So the next morning I went to
the hospital and I was like, he's not moving. I
don't know what to tell you, but I'm not happy
and I'm really worried about him. Anyway, they hooked me
up to the machines again and they were like, all right,
let's have a look at him. And then you can
see the worry on their face when they're like, oh no.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
And that's why they call it mother's intuition. Mama always
knows coming up.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
Georgie said to the midwife, Hey, I don't want to
be this guy, but I have a cracking headache. Do
you have any panetol? And I'm like, right, are you
kidding me?
Speaker 1 (09:09):
After heading to the hospital for the second time, concerned
for the welfare of her baby, Sam's medical team gave
her some unexpected news.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
And they're trying to be really rare, but I could
tell something wasn't quite right because then they kept coming
in checking and they were checking to see that the
little heartbeats stickerus. We're in the right spot. Obviously, you
can tell that I have like a medical deary and
I have all these fancy words. So they kept making
sure that everything was in the right spot. And I
(09:39):
was like, I haven't moved, and that have you moved?
I'm like no, and they're like okay, and they're like,
everything's fine. I mean, he's there, and then I think
it was about an hour later, they came in and
they're like, okay, right, we're not happy at all. His
heart beats her regular. We think that he stopped getting
nutrients from the placenta, so we're going to get him
out right now, you know. And I just thought it
(10:00):
was a perfect example of mother's intuition. And I cannot
stress enough how much you just have to listen to
your own body, because I knew that something wasn't quite right.
And if I had just left it and thought maybe
this is just normal or whatever, you just don't know
what could have happened. So I'm just really glad that
(10:20):
I trusted myself enough to say, actually, I'm not happy
with this, and I went back there. Then I induced
me because I was quite happy with my cervix or something.
I don't know. They're like, it's stretching enough, and I
was like, okay, cool. So then I got induced and
Ted was born five hours later, so they got him
out nice and quick, and then once he came out,
(10:42):
he was fine, but Jordi, my partner, was stressed, and
of course like running around with his head chopped off,
being like, are you okay? Do you need anything? La?
Speaker 4 (10:51):
La lah?
Speaker 3 (10:51):
And I was like, don't you have people to text?
Can't you sit on the couch and just do something else.
I'm having a great time reading my book, texting my friends,
like I'm in labor having a baby. So that was fun,
and yes, it was a very very peaceful time. Actually,
I will say it was quite a funny. Thing that
I give my partner a high time about. Is when
I was like going through the contractions and having like
(11:15):
all the pain in the world, Jordie said to the midwife, Hey,
I don't want to be this guy, but cracking headache.
Do you have any pan Ado? And I'm like, are
you kidding me? Anyway, So poor Geordie had a headache. Anyway,
we got that sorted and he had some water and
some panadolts so that so that was nice.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
Sometimes men can be so hysterical.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
So then my son was born and it was something
that I'll never forget. I can't actually describe the feeling
of what it was like when I first held him.
It was like something higher than me and it felt
very spiritual. I know some people don't have that feeling.
But yeah, for me, it was the most incredible feeling
(12:03):
in the world. And him getting pulled out and him
being on my chest for the first time, I just
was so overwhelmed with emotions of love and connection and
I just thought, but it's like a feeling that you
(12:24):
can't describe. You're like, this person is my person, and
it feels like he's what you've been waiting for your
whole life. I feel really much sure, you know, you
just think, ah, that's what's been missing, is my baby.
And I will never forget that feeling, and I'll never
(12:44):
forget how peaceful I felt and how peaceful he felt.
And my partner Jordie will describe it. He says it
was the most beautiful thing he's ever witnessed. Yeah, it
was something beyond me and beyond I think our physical experience,
just the connection of a mother and a baby, and
I'll never forget that. And we still have that, you know,
(13:06):
I still look at him and think, Wow, you're my baby,
and for the rest of our lives we're going to
be entwined and connected. And I think that that's one
of the most beautiful things in the world.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
Sam was in awe of a new little bundle. But
the challenges don't stop when labor is over. The fourth
trimester is full of learnings for mum and bub.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
I was in this beautiful love bubble with my beautiful son,
and then came the fun part of breastfeeding. I certainly
struggled pretty much straight away breastfeeding. The midwives were very
encouraging of breastfeeding, obviously, and we all know the health benefits.
We all know bonding, we all know all the things
(13:52):
that you're supposed to know about breastfeeding. Everyone tells you,
but they don't tell you is what happens when you
can't or what happens when you struggle. I think one
of the biggest things that I struggled with is the
pressure of breastfeeding and the judgment of struggling. And I
(14:14):
was breastfeeding and my nipples became very cracked bleeding. It
was an extremely painful experience for me. I got mastitis,
I think quite early on, very quickly. I remember going
home from the hospital and I just burst into tears
(14:35):
and I was hysterically crying because I couldn't breastfit ted
and I was really struggling. I was in so much
pain and the only advice that I got was to
keep trying. But it was so painful. I remember a
specific moment that made me reroute my opinion on breastfeeding
(14:58):
and what I was going to do my plan. I guess.
I think Ted was probably very young. He was probably
about two or three weeks old, and he was crying,
and he was really crying, and my boobs were bleeding,
pussy horrible. It was awful chat and just in a
(15:22):
world of pain, and I remember thinking, I don't want him.
I don't want to hold him, I don't want to
feed him, I don't want him to come near me.
And that was the moment I thought, this isn't right.
It's not worth it for me, because I have this
beautiful bond with my son and it's the most important
thing in the world now with all the pressure and
(15:43):
judgment and opinions from everyone. Every time you try to
talk to someone saying I'm really struggling with breastfeeding, the
advice would be keep trying, keep trying, keep trying. And
I just wanted someone to say, you know what, it's
okay if you can't. That's all I wanted. I just
wanted someone to reassure me. So no one really did that,
(16:03):
but I ended up in the moment where I felt
like I didn't want to hold my son. I ended
up feeding him that feed because he obviously needed it,
and I sent my partner to the chemist and I said,
you please get a breast pump, a bottle and formula,
and let's just try something else. The moment I changed
(16:29):
from breastfeeding to bottle feeding, my life became immediately better.
I became more peaceful, I was happier, Ted was happier.
He was getting fed, and it just became so much easier.
And I'm not saying it's for everyone. And I know
a lot of people love breastfeeding and that's perfect for
(16:50):
you guys, but I think that what we do need
to talk about, and what's not talked about enough, is
some people can't and some people really struggle. And it's okay,
like it's okay to bottlefeed, and if you can't do it,
then your mental health and your connection with your baby,
and a fed baby is way more important than anything else.
And he was like full, and then he was chunky
(17:10):
and happy and like sleeping well, and I was sleeping well,
and it was so much better. The advice I would
give pregnant women who feel like they're not being listened
(17:33):
to by medical professionals is to always trust your intuition.
I think mama's intuition is far more switched on and
in tune than anything they will say.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
And with a second bub on the way has sammed
on anything differently this time around.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
I'm a lot more laid back this second pregnancy. To
be honest, I actually couldn't remember how many weeks I
was and I had to look it up and I
was like, oh, I'm twenty three weeks. But I had
no idea. When I was pregnant with Ted. I was like,
here's the size of banana, and he's going to be
feeling this, and this is what he's feeling now and
this baby, I'm like, ah, he's alright in there. I'm
sure he is, but yeah, I mean like in feeling kicking.
(18:12):
And I think I feel a lot more relaxed his
second pregnancy. I'm also really mindful that the birth is
probably going to be different. The one thing I did
for my first pregnancy, I didn't have a plan because
I had seen so many women and friends and relatives
that have had these great birthing plans and nothing ever
(18:35):
goes that way. So I didn't have that. I just thought,
you know, what's meant to be will be, and I'm
just going to write it out. And that's the same
as what I'm doing now. And now you know I've
got a low lying placenta. So there's chat about potentially
having a cesarean. I'm like, I don't care. I want
my baby to be healthy and that's all that matters
to me. So yeah, I think I'm a lot more relaxed.
(18:55):
There's a difference in having a baby in your mid thirties.
I think it comes with a wisdom and I just
think you know yourself better because I think that if
I was in my twenties and I've had girlfriends have
babies in their twenties, I just don't think you're self
assured enough to back yourself in situations when you're being
(19:20):
ghastly from medical professionals. I think that if I had
this experience in my twenties, I would probably be a
lot more anxious. I would probably be a lot more doubtful.
I would probably be Yeah, I just know it would
have hit me harder and affected my mental health. More.
But now that I'm in my thirties, I think that
I'm a lot more. Yeah, self assured.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
But even if this labor is completely different to her first,
Sam has an essential item for her hospital bag.
Speaker 3 (19:50):
Well, my hospital bag is I actually packed my Nintendo DS.
I don't know why people don't think about these things. Like,
you're in hospital for a long time. Sometimes the baby's
not going to come out for a while, So if
you've got Mario Kart on your Nintendo DS, like every
other mature thirty five year old, it's like me and
(20:11):
the teenage boys all pack our DSS when we go
to hospital. But yeah, I have I packed my Nintendo
and this time I would people probab probably won't like it,
but I'll probably pack a breast pump just in case,
in case I can't breastfeed again, I might do that.
But yeah, so those are the things, and pan it
off for Jordie.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
Here on Diary of a Birth, we are lucky enough
to have the expert input of medical professionals. Today, we
have obstetrician and gynecologist doctor Bromwin Devine to answer some
of our burning questions. I wanted to know when is
reduced fetal movement cause for concern.
Speaker 5 (20:53):
Okay, so we take reduced fetal movement really seriously. And
having said that, a lot of the time, when people
feel their babies moving less, they take themselves into hospital,
which we encourage them to do, and we pop them
on the monitoring.
Speaker 4 (21:08):
And the baby responds to the monitoring.
Speaker 5 (21:11):
And moves around and we get a lovely CTG heart
rate trace and everything's beautiful and reassuring.
Speaker 4 (21:18):
That happens so much, and that's what we love.
Speaker 5 (21:23):
But there are a proportion of bubbies that do stop
moving because they're not happy with their entry you trine environment.
They're starting to feel that they're being compromised. They might
have the cord around their body or around their neck,
they may have reduced blood flow in the placenta, or
there's some condition there that's making them unwell. And they
will often tell us that by reducing their movements they
(21:45):
can serve their energy because they know that times are tough.
Speaker 4 (21:49):
So it is a really good way for us to
know if babies are not well, and so we do
encourage people to come into hospital if they are not
happy with their freedal movements, and if that means they
have to come back day after day. Having said that,
if they come in and they're not reassured, then we
will do additional tests. We'll do ultrasounds, we'll do special
(22:12):
blood tests.
Speaker 5 (22:13):
And if people continue to be not reassured and the
babies at a gestation where we can safely deliver them,
then we will often go ahead and either induce labor
or sometimes we'll need to do us as air insection,
depending on how happy or unhappy the baby is. So
fetal movement a really good indicator of bubbs being happy.
(22:36):
Women will often find they've got reduced movements, but the
bubby is actually fine. So it's not that you know,
it's always a cause for concern, but we always tell
people to take it seriously and contact your hospital if
you're not reassured by your movements.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
And Sam mentioned that her placenta is low lying this
time around, what does that mean for labor?
Speaker 5 (22:57):
So certainly placentas have got a lifeline like everything else. Really,
they've got a time where they do stop working as effectively,
and for some people that might be close to forty weeks,
and for other people that might be beyond forty one
weeks or even up to as close as forty two
weeks for some people, but sometime between hugely for most pregnancies,
(23:19):
between the due date and a little bit beyond the
due date, the placenta will start to get a little
bit start to run out of steam. Sometimes, when there's
pregnancies that are complicated by say high blood pressure or
diabetes or other sort of circumstances that can compromise beat
or blood flow or blood flow in the placenter, we
may find that bubbies stop growing because they're getting fewer
(23:42):
nutrients in the placenta much earlier on. Sometimes that happens
as early as sort of twenty four weeks or twenty
six weeks, and we end up keeping a very close
eye on babies that at that time until we can
safely deliver them.
Speaker 4 (23:54):
But all placentas have sort of got a.
Speaker 5 (23:56):
Time where they run out of steam, and for some
people that does happen soon after forty weeks.
Speaker 4 (24:01):
It's one of the reasons why we see.
Speaker 5 (24:03):
You so frequently towards the end of the pregnancy, to
make sure your baby's still moving, to make sure your
blood pressure is still good, to make sure you're still
measuring well, and all the tests that we do to
reassure us that things are going well are still going well.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
Diary of a Birth was hosted by me Kassenia Lukitch
with expert input from doctor Bronwin Divine. This episode was
produced by Tom Lyon and myself Kassenie Lukitch, with audio
production by Scott Stronik,
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