June 24, 2025 • 34 mins
Pregnancy is often described as a transformative journey, but for Briar, it became something far more complex. Having already navigated the life-altering experience of spinal surgery and disability in her twenties, she approached motherhood with both excitement and careful consideration. She'd rebuilt her life, regained her independence, and felt ready to embrace this new chapter.
From the very beginning of her pregnancy, however, Briar's body began responding in ways that challenged everything she thought she knew about managing her disability. The same hormones that were nurturing her growing baby were also affecting the delicate balance she'd achieved in her own physical recovery. What started as manageable discomfort gradually escalated into pain that threatened to overwhelm her carefully constructed coping strategies and potentially prevent her from carrying Theodora to term.
Diary Of A Birth features mums sharing their heartfelt stories of bringing life into the world. Share your birth story at podcast@mamamia.com.au or send a voice note here.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
You're listening to Amma Mia podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters
that this podcast is recorded on. We pay our respects
to elders past, present and emerging, and feel privileged to
continue the sharing of birth stories and knowledge that has
been a fundamental part of Indigenous culture.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
Hi.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
I'm Cassania Lukich and this is diary of a birth.
Sometimes the most powerful birth stories aren't just about bringing
a baby into the world. They're about discovering strength you
never knew you had. Today's guest had already proven her
resilience after a spinal surgery complication left her unable to walk.
(01:07):
She'd fought back to fitness and independence, but pregnancy tested
her in unimaginable ways.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
So round about the three four month mark, I could
not sleep for the pain in my leg. Like I'm talking,
I've been awake for twenty four hours. I'm so much discomfort,
and I fell over and I went to the hospital
because everything just got wrong.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
By the time COVID hit, she was housebound on heavy medication,
facing possible early delivery, but she was determined to give
her daughter the best start, even if it meant months
of pain. So let's meet today's mum.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
Hi, this is Bria and this is my diary of
a birth with Theodora.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
So, Brian, I wanted to start off with a little
bit about your history because you have had a number
of health issues since you were what seventeen? Yeah, do
you want to talk us through your health history so
we can understand where you were before you got pregnant.
Speaker 3 (02:10):
So I had a really bad back from puberty. I
had sciatica down both of my legs that would come
and go, and I would frequently have issues and that
program all the way through my life, and I would
manage it and I'd have some time in bed and
it was all contained, I guess, until I was about
(02:30):
twenty seven. I'd move from New Zealand to Australia. I
was working in a professional job and I just had
another flare and I couldn't manage it. I just could
not get on top of it. And it turned out
that a couple of the disks of my lower spine
had shifted and they were crushing my spinal cord, and
so I had a spinal surgery, and in that spinal surgery,
(02:53):
I lost the use and feeling of one of my legs.
So if you put your finger in your belly button
and just go straight down and across your hips like nothing,
couldn't feel it, couldn't move it, anything like that. So
that was pretty jarring at twenty seven and I'm in
a different country from my family and my friends, and
everyone really rally around to support me. And over the
(03:16):
course of a couple of years, I learned to walk again.
I got off all the pain medicare that I was on.
I still have disc issues and I still have what's
called a foot drop, so I can't lift my toes
as well as on one of my legs, so I
do have a trip risk, and I've got pins and
needles in my leg permanently. But I got to the
(03:36):
point where I was doing cross it five times a
week I was traveling. I moved to England. I'm just
doing life in pain and that progressed and I would
manage that. And when I was planning to get pregnant,
I knew I needed to make sure my body was
really strong. I knew that I needed to be in
the best possible condition because pregnancy is not great on
(03:59):
anyone's fine. Pregnancy is not easy on the body and
some of the pain medications that I would utilize, like
say Europine it's not safe for pregnancy, So I also
needed to prepare for that.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
The spinal surgery you had, was that just a complication
of a surgery? Is that how you're expecting to come
out of it?
Speaker 3 (04:19):
Like?
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Was it something that it was just a complication.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
Yeah, it was a non complication that can happen. It
doesn't happen too often, but just the state I was in,
the disc matter was really messed up into the spinal
cord when they were operating. So it was like a
really rare complication in that case. But fast forward when
we talk about the second spinal surgery, it was a
much higher risk on that same thing happening. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
So you and your partner met in the UK. Yeah,
and then you got pregnant at thirty five. So was
that just one surgery between that twenty seven and thirty five?
Speaker 3 (04:54):
Yeah, So I had just needed the one surgery and
I think I was actually thirty four. It was not
quite a geriatric pregnancy. I do remember that it was
a disabled but not quite geriatric pregnancy. I had not
needed any more surgical interventions. I still had you know,
a pretty exciting bag of medications that I would use
(05:15):
when I needed, but I wouldn't need them daily or
even monthly, to be honest. But I hadn't don't had
to have any medical interventions after that first operation. It
wasn't until I got pregnant that things started to unravel.
And it was like it wasn't even a positive pregnancy test,
it was conception onwards. It was instant. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Yeah, the act of getting pregnant sort of undid all
of this hard, you know, rehabilitation work that you had done.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
I think without the rehabilitation work and the real I'd
spend a good twelve months with personal trainer, like I
want to get strong for pregnancy, so we'd be really
deliberate about that. So I think without it, things potentially
would have gone much worse. But what happened was as
soon as the relax and entered my system, I just
(06:08):
seemed to relax all the structures that I had built
up in my body to be strong, and so my
leg would hurt more, or my pens and needles would
be worse, or just bending on was like that shouldn't
that shouldn't hurt that much? Because managing a spinal l injury.
For that long, you kind of start to know like, ah,
(06:28):
this symptom I can put up with that, this symptom,
I need to triaute it this way, like it's for me.
It's like a little bit like having a child already,
like I had, I learned how to manage it. And
so once I got pregnant, I was like, this is
going in a direction that I am not used to.
It's escalating faster, the symptoms don't move through the same process,
and so pretty much straight away and we got pregnant
(06:51):
the first time we tried. So of all the things
we're going to share today, fertility was not one of
those issues for us. And I tested positive within a
couple of weeks. Like I woke up on a Monday
morning and said, I'm pregnant. My periods half now late.
It was literally one of those people. And I tested
the next day and that sort of explained it. And
(07:14):
so began a journey of just trying to keep up
with what was happening in my body. The pregnancy itself
was really easy. I think I was described as obstetrically boring.
But the container that had the uterus and the baby
was really complicated.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
I know that you mentioned a lot one of your
biggest issues was facing the medical system and trying to
figure out a way to manage your care correctly.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Can you talk to us a little bit about how
you entered the system and how you kind of were
able to gather a team. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
So we made the very deliberate choice to go into
the public system. The advice we received that I was
so complicated, we were probably going to be punted back
into the public system, so we started there. I shared
all of my medical information, so by the time I
was in that already put me into an obstetric stream.
I was not under the care of like a midware
(08:09):
free group practice or anything like that, primarily because they
just didn't know how my body was going to react.
So that was really good in that I was already
in that stream. What was really difficult was so round
about the three four month mark, I could not sleep
for the pain in my leg. Like I'm talking, I've
(08:30):
been awake for twenty four hours. I'm in so much discomfort,
and I fell over and I went to the hospital
because everything just felt wrong, and they end up doing
an MRI on my body because they wanted to see
what was happening with the spine during the pregnancy, So
that's great. The maternity hospitals connected to a normal hospital,
(08:52):
they do the MRI there. I come back to the
practice and the neuro surgery team has said, ah, it's
a minor dispulge, it'll be resolved in six to eight weeks.
And the midwife who's the one meeting me through the
obstetric stream, is like, but you'll be six to eight
weeks more pregnant by them. Then I have to go
away and come back and nothing's progressed because the neurosurgeons
(09:15):
don't know about babies and the obstetricians don't know about spines,
and nobody wants to help me with this app debilitating
pain where I'm not sleeping for days, like I'm not
able to sleep.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Yeah, And I suppose in terms of pain management, what
were you Because you can't take neurop and you can
take pan at all. But I suppose at that level
of pain, what were you able to take?
Speaker 3 (09:36):
So of my own volition, I could take the pan
at all, which is what's recommended, and you can't take neurophine,
and some of it was inflammation related, so that was
really frustrating, but anything stronger than that, like, I needed
the obstetrician and the neurosurgeon to kind of prescribe it.
So the issue we were having was no one would
prescribe it because they didn't know about the other thing.
And I turn up to one appointment and I'm just crying.
(10:00):
I'm in so much pain. I'm crying and midwives, bless them.
I love them. My sister in law's a midwife. It
is an amazing profession. She walks out and I can
hear her yell something like, I get in here. This
girl is suffering. You need to come in here and
help her. And so she appears to wrangle an obstetrician in.
(10:22):
I think there was a physician because I had gestational diabetes.
They couldn't get the neurosurgery person in, but they got
enough people in and she was like, what is the
pain management plan here? So eventually I got onto some
pretty like heavy medications, usually ones that you get like
after a C section, stuff like that that I could
use for cut through pain. So actually one of the
(10:43):
things that happened was they wanted to give me a
nerve pain medication. I took every day that would cut
down my nerve pain. I love life to the max,
so if you dull my nerve pain, I'm just going
to live there, right And I got my partner and
my mum at the time to look up the symptoms
because I couldn't cope with seeing that. They looked up
the symptoms and we've been given some of the information
(11:05):
from the doctor and there was a risk of heart
defect or the baby versus these other medications which are
often associated with being highly addictive. So I actually as
a patient went in and said, here are my patient
files in these addictive medications on and off throughout my disability.
(11:25):
I don't want to risk a heart issue with the
baby if I could demonstrate to you that I can
safely take these other medications. And so they agreed, which
was really great. They trusted me. I could give them evidence.
They trusted me. But that was probably one of the
first like really advocating for myself saying I want to
be able to take this type of medication in this
(11:45):
way under your care. And we also found one that
helped me stay asleep through the pain.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
It was like a like an antihistamine, an antihistamine one yep,
that I ended up taking quite a lot of.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
But it would if I could sleep through the pain.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
I was okay, yeah, So we.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Had a cocktail that I could. Initially didn't need to
take too much, but it got a lot more intense
over the time.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
This is only a four months mind you, So as
the pregnancy progresses, the pain's getting worse, I'm assuming because
you're getting bigger, obstetrically boring. So Bove is growing, She's.
Speaker 3 (12:21):
Doing all the things she's supposed to do. There was
nothing concerning, nothing to worry about. It was me that
wasn't coping. And prior to getting pregnant, I spent like
two to four days a fortnight in Sydney, like I
was traveling up there. I live in Melbourne. I was
traveling up there all the time. So at four months
I have to go back to work and say, hey,
(12:42):
I can't I'm to Sydney. I can't run these collaboration
workshops with loads of senior executives. I can't do my
job and I'm definitely not gonna be able to do
it for the rest of the duration of the pregnancy.
And I'd say the most surprising thing of the whole pregnancy.
I thought pregnancy was going to be hard because of
my back, but I thought that my workplace was going
(13:04):
to be somewhere I had to advocate for myself and
the medical system would be supportive as a person with
a disability who was pregnant. And it just was the
exact opposite. My workplace. I had a great boss and
a great hr business partner. They just found every policy
and every procedure and every available support to help me out.
(13:27):
They changed the type of work I was doing with
that impact in my income. They just did everything and
I never had to stress about work. I never had
to stress about needing to take a bit of time off.
I never had to stress about what was going to
happen when I came back. They went above and beyond.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
I mean, that's how it should be. It's not. Unfortunately,
it's not like that in every workplace, and I've experienced
both sides the coin and to have that level of support,
particularly with something chronic like what you have, yeah, and
have people being able to be like, you know what,
it's fine, We're going to make the accommodations because we
value you as an employee. That is just I'm so
(14:04):
glad that you at least had that, even though the
medical system was harder to navigate for you.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
I don't know how I would have been able to
cope with us fighting fires on two fronts. And bear
in mind, by the time I'm having this MRI and
getting this medication and this midwife has sort of ranked
the doctors. We're in January twenty twenty, we're it like
COVID's happening over there. It's something that we're not too
stressed about yet. So by the time I progressed through
(14:32):
this pregnancy, like, bear in mind, I'm still going to
the gym four or five times a week because I
have to keep moving. I've set this target for whatever reason,
that I'm going to be able to continue to do
overhead squats, Like if I can keep doing an overhead
squat with thirty five kilos on the bar, my body's
going to be doing okay. So say that it's hurting.
But I'm also like I'm on that bike, like, oh
(14:55):
my god, I got so circu the bike because it
was the only way I could get any cardio in
just doing everything sensible. So stopping the situps when you
had to stop situps, and I never did a box
jump because my foot doesn't work. But like I was,
I was going to the gym and working with people
I've worked with before I acquired my disability, throughout my disability,
throughout this pregnancy, to be like, how do I stay
(15:16):
as strong as I can within the context of this
unbearable pain.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
Amazing. It's also a testament to your mental strength as well.
Let's fast forward a little bit to March twenty twenty.
How far along are you ated in March twenty twenty
when COVID really hits.
Speaker 3 (15:31):
So by round about March, I'm already not going into
the city. Oh, because the other thing that happens at
the end of that year is the bushfires in Melbourne,
so pregnant people are not supposed to go outside. So like,
I've been working from home a lot at this point,
so I'm at home permanently. Like the idea of getting
into the office is just not possible. I am taking
(15:54):
these heavy medications like four times a day. I'm still working.
I'm lying in my bed. My partner stopped working because
I couldn't even stand to make a piece of toast,
so I could lie down in bed and do my
job camera off, but I couldn't really do too much else.
And so by this point I'm being treated by the
(16:17):
neurosurgery department within their physio department to help me with
anything particular that I need. I'm going in and out
of the hospital three or four times a week at
this point to be checked and make sure everything's fine.
But it was probably around that time that they said
to me, like I was really maxing out the amount
of pain meds we could take, and they said to me,
(16:41):
if it wasn't covid would probably take her out. But
we don't know the effect of COVID on baby's lungs,
So as long as you can cope with the pain,
would like to keep her inside.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
How far along we at this point.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
Thirty two thirty three weeks, You don't want to bring
a baby out early if you don't need to. So
it was round about Easter time, maybe April. I stopped
work and the hospital said, if you lose control of
your foot, your bladder, or your beoll, then irreparable damage
is happening to your body and will take the baby out.
(17:16):
But until then, can you take this medication? Can you
put up with the pain? And I was like, yep,
we can do that because you're like, you're already a mother, right,
You're already like, I will do anything for the health
and safety of this baby. And it wasn't going to
do a reprobable damage. And I probably spent half my
life floating in the bath at that point because that
(17:36):
was a nice feeling, like the temperature and it was
a good way to take the weight off. And we
just waited, coming up, You're gonna have to take the
baby else we can operate on her spine, no preamble,
no nothing, just goes and dry with that, and the
midwive's face drops.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
When did Theodora come out? Tell me about her birthday?
Speaker 3 (18:04):
So as everyone who had a baby in COVID knows, like,
you're in the hospital by yourself. So all my appointments,
my partner hadn't been able to come with me. But
I can't walk, like I'm on crutches. I can't walk.
I need a wheelchair once I get into the into
the hospital. So for thea's birth, it's Mother's Day twenty twenty,
It's a Sunday, and I call out to my partner.
(18:26):
I'm like, hey, so I can't move my foot and
they're like, Okay, I guess we're having a baby today.
And do you know what's the most ridiculous thing. We
hadn't packed a bag. Do you know how much like
energy and like Instagram is actually dedicated to like what
to put in your bag? We were so distracted with
everything else, we were like surprised we were having a baby. Anyway.
(18:47):
So we go into the hospital on the Mother's Day
afternoon and I'm really adamant the whole way through, even
though it's my spine that was not doing well. I
was not going into the main hospital. I was always
coming into the maternity hospital and they can bring the
specialist over. So they bring the specialist over. And it's
Mother's Days to the really, you know, if one's with
their families, and we get we're going to guess, like
(19:09):
the more junior doctors. So we're in the room with
my partner, a medwife, an obstetrician in the emergency room.
The neurosurgery junior I'm going to guess, comes in and
touches my foot, doesn't move, goes away. It causes boss
comes back and says, yeah, so you're gonna have to
take the baby out so we can operate on her spine.
(19:30):
No preamble, no, nothing, just goes and dry with that,
and the midwives face drops, like midwives have seen everything,
and your face drops, and that's the moment where we're like, oh,
this doesn't happen very often. She composes herself, as does Osressia,
like no one's unprofessional in that in that moment. But
they just sort of what felt like pushing up against
(19:52):
the system and constantly advocating for myself. Once that happened,
they just went, they launched, and they were like, right,
this is what we're gonna do.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
They finally became a team.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
They became a team. So I actually have a sensitivity
to some types of anesthetics. So I had to go
speak to the anethetist in the maternity hospital, and it
was a really interesting conversation because that trying to make
sure that you have the most gauging birth right, that
they want you to be there when the baby comes
(20:24):
out rather than under general anesthetic, and also there's risks
when you're under general anesthetic because it goes and it
gets into the baby pretty quick. But in my case,
the anethetist, I think, first of all, said Oh, you're
an exciting case today, so that was cool. I wasn't
obstetrically boring in that moment. And then said, oh, well,
because you've got scar tissue in your lower spine from
(20:46):
your spinal surgery, if we put an epidural in here,
you might feel some of the cuts. And I was like,
absolutely not. I don't want that. I don't want that
at all. I know No. It was just this really
bizarre like is that would that be okay by you?
And I'm like, no, I don't want to feel any
part of that sea section.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
That's insane.
Speaker 3 (21:08):
Look in the moment, I was just looking at them
like is this a real question? Like how do I
really have to respond and say no, thank you, I
don't want to feel any incision of my sea section.
But I mean, on the flip side, I end up
under general anesthetic for the birth. My partner couldn't be
in the room because it's really confronting to see your
loved ones out under anesthetic, but they had. I think
(21:30):
they took her out with them under a minute of.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Going under Oh wow.
Speaker 3 (21:33):
Because they don't want any of the They don't want
a baby to be born with the anesthetics.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
How many weeks were you when you finally went in
for that C section?
Speaker 3 (21:41):
I was thirty seven plus six. I've managed to carry
her to term, which will I think to this day
be one of my greatest accomplishments because we grew her
to a healthy size.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Oh, I'm so happy for you because that would have
been so stressful and considering the amount of pain that
you were under, it's amazing that you were able to
do that. But you basically had to go straight to
spinal surgery.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
Yeah, so they actually didn't take us straight, and they
sent my partner home and said, go have a good
night's sleep. This is so complicated. All of our specialists
will be here on Monday. We'll have everyone we need
so that Bria's under anesthetic, the baby safe, like, we'll
have the full team. That was okay. We went to
sleep that night, and so we had Theodora on Monday
(22:26):
about eleven something like that, and I'm under general anesthetic
and they take her out, give her to my partner
like walk away, and so they're like, is she okay?
Like everything fine? And they get given this like sticky
baby to get dressed in some formula and stuff. So
(22:47):
then later that day, they take me and get an MRI.
But like I've just had a c section, So there's
like six or eight people. They have to wheel me
between hospitals. There's all sorts of protocol because we're in COVID.
They wheel me through, they lift me up and put
me in the MRI, and like I was just lying,
(23:09):
you have to say still in the MRI. And I'm
just lying there with like tears like rolling down my
face because I'm just trying to hold myself so still
and I'm so terrified. Like last time this happened, I
lost the use of the leg. So we go back
to the hospital. I have a night with my partner
and my daughter, and then the next morning they wheeled
(23:32):
me off to the other hospital. And in this whole process,
the only time I saw my partner cry was when
I left to go to the other hospital. Because it
was COVID, they weren't allowed to come and see me
after the operation.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
And you weren't allowed to be with your baby either.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
I wasn't allowed to be with my baby, and initially
the hospital protocol said you need to go home with
the baby, and like hands washed done, right, because that's
what the protocol said, and to the hospital's credit, like
once we were having a baby. They were so good.
They were like, h this does not make sense. So
they called the head of the hospital on Mother's Day
(24:10):
and say, hey, we've got the situation within the other
parents should be staying in the hospital. We know that
that's not protocol, but this is a situation like I
couldn't get myself to the toilet, I couldn't do anything,
so my partner got to stay in the maternity hospital.
I went next door. I had a spinal surgery on
the Tuesday, and I like hyperventilated on the table before
(24:31):
they could knock me out because they said to me,
it's like a forty percent chance we're going to net
your spinal cord. And I'm like, wait, this isn't this
is like that's a lot. That's a really high and
then you have to lie perfectly flat or they have
to glo it back together, and I'm just like, I'm
a mess.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
And you've just had a C section.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
Yeah, so your hormones are absolutely like you're going to
You're going to cry and everything. Right. Everyone was just
so nice because this was just such a messed up situation,
and they calmed me down and I had the operation
and I woke up after the anesthetic and a friend
came and was my person there to help me through
(25:12):
and that was really great. And the hospital said, okay, well,
when you can get up, go to the toilet, not
passed out, come back to bed, you can go back
to your baby. So it's like eleven o'clock at night,
and like, I'm nothing if not stubborn, and I'm like
chop front to back trying to get out of bed
to go to the toilet, and the nurse is like,
(25:33):
nobody's letting you out of here tonight, No one is.
This is not happening till tomorrow morning. Lie down and
go to sleep. Absolutely adamant. I just needed to get
back there. The maternity hospital is so good, Like the
medwives were coming over and helping me get the colostrum
out so that they could take it back for Saya.
Everyone just was like, this is messed up. This would
be messed up with that COVID, and so they just
(25:54):
did everything that they could. And I had to have
two blood transfusions because you know, there's a lot of
blood coming out at this point, and the hospitals coordinated
for me so like, if the neurosurgery department had done
whatever blood test it was to see if I needed
another transfusion, they were responsible for administering it. So they
worked with the maternity hospital to like get the right
(26:17):
people to check me off so I could go back
to the maternity hospital and matternity hospital could be responsible
for any iron or blood transfusions that I needed, so
I could get back to my baby and stay there
with my partner, and they didn't have to leave because
I was back, because I wasn't doing anything other than
lying there. Like, it was an absolute mess in so
(26:38):
many ways, but people really rallied around to help us
make the best of it and to do the right
thing for us in those moments. And so what could
have been it's objectively quite traumatic, was less traumatic than
it needed to be because people just did the best
they could in that moment.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
Yeah, and your partner is, you know, obviously terrified for you.
Thankfully they're able to stay in the ward with the baby. Yeah,
but well, okay, now I'm a parent, what do I
do now?
Speaker 3 (27:11):
Like, so one of the real positives is my partner's
sister is a midlife and she was in the UK
at the time, so the night times and Australia were
like her daytime, so so like my partner could call
their sister and asked about So that was quite good.
The maternity hospital and the midwives were all standing outside
(27:32):
trying to help, and we stay for another like two
or three days. I say, there were two wounds to
check and all of that, but again, like it was
COVID time we went home. We have no family here.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
Yeah, and you're recovering from multiple surgeries.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
Yes, And the reason I went in was because my
foot wasn't working, so I'm learning to walk again. One
of the things that worked really well was that their
midwives would come to the house and check on you
and the baby and check on the c section, and
they also checked on the surgical scar that was my back,
rather than a second nurse happened to come in and
one checks the front, one checks the back, So like
they just coordinated on some really basic stuff that maybe
(28:11):
COVID prompted them to do. The neurosurgery department had hydrotherapy
recovery for their surgical patients. Yes, it was for my back,
but actually I'd also had this baby come out, and
so it was also so so good for my core recovery.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
Yeah, so now that these five how is your movement now?
How is your recovery being over the last five years.
Speaker 3 (28:36):
Look, I'm able to walk. I use a walking stick.
Today things are just deteriorating a little bit. But immediately
after her birth, my mum was actually able to come
from New Zealand and she happens to be a physical therapist,
so she really focused on how for me learn to
walk again?
Speaker 1 (28:52):
Oh that's amazing.
Speaker 3 (28:53):
And she stayed with us for six weeks, and so
I was able to walk much faster than she hadn't
have been there if I relied on all those other services.
Twelve months after I'd had there, I did a competition
at a CrossFit gym. I can last, like, don't get
me wrong, but I did it.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
Oh my god, you're amazing, Brier.
Speaker 3 (29:12):
I was back at the gym as much as I can.
My body is not the same as pre pregnancy, and
I don't have the same strength. My back is not
quite so good. But it's really hard to go to
the gym five days a week when you have a
baby and a kid, Like, it's just as different hard.
So I go. I do different things like I go
(29:35):
to acquicise classes, I ride a bike to work, I
do yoga stuff like that. But yeah, I got my
body back to being still disabled, but not it wasn't debilitating,
it wasn't forever.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
So that was really good from your story me hearing it,
You're saying you're stubborn, but I think it's it's to
your benefit in this stage because you were like, I'm
going to walk again. I really applaud you for that.
It's incredible.
Speaker 3 (29:59):
I like to take got really difficult jobs. And by
that I mean like I do a lot of disability
advocacy stuff, right, And I joke I've learned to walk
three times in my life, Like how hard can this be?
One of the benefits of acquiring disability in my twenties
is so much eager you have to let go. I've
walked with a limp since I was twenty seven. I
don't get to wear high heels, and some days the
medication makes my skin hurt. I don't wear make out
(30:20):
something like that. You get to figure out what really matters.
And I wanted to be a mom that was rolling
around in the garden with my kid, and so that
was the most important thing so why am I going
to the gym? Why am I doing this activity? Because
I want to be active in her life. And for example,
we made the choice not to have any more kids
because the surgeon's like, oh, you can have another one.
(30:42):
You might need a spinal fusion, And I was like,
a spinal fusion, a toddler and a newborn. Count me out.
I've got one kid. She's hilarious, she's such fun. I
get to be an active part of her life. That's
like the anchor point that's the most important in it.
My backslides to her, It's like, Hey, what do I
need to do to be the type of mum that
I want to be?
Speaker 1 (31:01):
What would you say that this whole experience has taught you?
Speaker 3 (31:05):
So I think I never really talked about having a
disability at work, and it impacted me hugely in my
career like it does because if you don't ask for
what you need, then it can really inhibit your ability
to do your job. And after I experienperience pregnancy and
the difficulties in the medical system and all the support
that I got at work, it actually encouraged me to
(31:27):
start speaking about this at work and I shared my
story once and then someone's like, hey, would you mind
telling a group of people, and I told my story
again and someone would message and say, hey, I'm now
asking for that because I knew this policy existed. And
then I got asked to lead our employee resource group
at my previous organization, and I got to bring together
(31:50):
people with disabilities and cares at work, and I got
to run an annual event for the whole company, and
then that snowboard in too, do you want to write
an accessibility action plan for the business, And then that
snowboarden to like winning awards and getting all of this traction,
and so I found that by last year I won
the Disability Inclusion Change Maker of the Year with the
(32:12):
Australian Disability Network simply off the back of I told
my story and it helps someone, And then it just
I just saw the power of your voice and sharing
your story and what you can do for someone and
how you can help them. And that was probably one
of the most beautiful things other than I don't know
to come out of this, was the confidence to share
(32:33):
it and how I've been able to help others.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
With such a complex medical case. I wanted to find
out from our resident obstrician and gynecologist doctor Bronwin and Devine.
What do you do if your patient has a complex
medical history and requires not just obstetric support but also
additional specialists.
Speaker 4 (32:57):
So this is probably done par excellence in the public
hospital system. It's certainly possible in the private sector. But
when you work in a big public hospital, you've got
access to what we call a multidisciplinary team. So if
someone had history spinal surgery or a spinal injury and
was pregnant, we would manage them in conjunction with the
(33:18):
spinal team, often the neuros surgents and the neurologists and
the very specialized nursing staff who deal with spinal patients.
We would liaise very carefully with the anthetists because they're
obviously very much involved with particularly if someone's having acessarean
section with analgesias going to be or anesthesia is going
(33:39):
to be conducted during that procedure. So it's one of
the good things about working in a big public hospital
is you get this lovely interaction between all the medical
teams coming and talking together and planning things in a
very methodical way for patients. One of the things I
noted in this particular case was that it occurred during
COVID and that was really must have been really rough
(34:01):
because COVID was such a I think we're realizing now
the far reaching impacts on pretty much all of society
by the COVID pandemic. People coming through the healthcare system
who may not have been affected by COVID, but people
whose health care was limited or compromised because there was
so much of healthcare resources that were being sequestered into
(34:25):
caring for critically sick people with COVID, and so it
meant that people's experiences in the healthcare system were certainly limited.
In this particular case, it would have been very tricky
for her to go through with all the limitations that
we had because of the compromise to the healthcare system.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
Diary of a Birth was hosted by me Caseni Lukitch
with expert input from doctor Bronwin Devine. If you like
our show, don't forget to subscribe and rate. It goes
a long way to allowing us to continue sharing your stories.
This episode was produced by Ella Maitland and myself Cassemu Lukitch,
with audio production by Tina Mattalov.
You're listening to Amma Mia podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters
that this podcast is recorded on. We pay our respects
to elders past, present and emerging, and feel privileged to
continue the sharing of birth stories and knowledge that has
been a fundamental part of Indigenous culture.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
Hi.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
I'm Cassania Lukich and this is diary of a birth.
Sometimes the most powerful birth stories aren't just about bringing
a baby into the world. They're about discovering strength you
never knew you had. Today's guest had already proven her
resilience after a spinal surgery complication left her unable to walk.
(01:07):
She'd fought back to fitness and independence, but pregnancy tested
her in unimaginable ways.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
So round about the three four month mark, I could
not sleep for the pain in my leg. Like I'm talking,
I've been awake for twenty four hours. I'm so much discomfort,
and I fell over and I went to the hospital
because everything just got wrong.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
By the time COVID hit, she was housebound on heavy medication,
facing possible early delivery, but she was determined to give
her daughter the best start, even if it meant months
of pain. So let's meet today's mum.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
Hi, this is Bria and this is my diary of
a birth with Theodora.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
So, Brian, I wanted to start off with a little
bit about your history because you have had a number
of health issues since you were what seventeen? Yeah, do
you want to talk us through your health history so
we can understand where you were before you got pregnant.
Speaker 3 (02:10):
So I had a really bad back from puberty. I
had sciatica down both of my legs that would come
and go, and I would frequently have issues and that
program all the way through my life, and I would
manage it and I'd have some time in bed and
it was all contained, I guess, until I was about
(02:30):
twenty seven. I'd move from New Zealand to Australia. I
was working in a professional job and I just had
another flare and I couldn't manage it. I just could
not get on top of it. And it turned out
that a couple of the disks of my lower spine
had shifted and they were crushing my spinal cord, and
so I had a spinal surgery, and in that spinal surgery,
(02:53):
I lost the use and feeling of one of my legs.
So if you put your finger in your belly button
and just go straight down and across your hips like nothing,
couldn't feel it, couldn't move it, anything like that. So
that was pretty jarring at twenty seven and I'm in
a different country from my family and my friends, and
everyone really rally around to support me. And over the
(03:16):
course of a couple of years, I learned to walk again.
I got off all the pain medicare that I was on.
I still have disc issues and I still have what's
called a foot drop, so I can't lift my toes
as well as on one of my legs, so I
do have a trip risk, and I've got pins and
needles in my leg permanently. But I got to the
(03:36):
point where I was doing cross it five times a
week I was traveling. I moved to England. I'm just
doing life in pain and that progressed and I would
manage that. And when I was planning to get pregnant,
I knew I needed to make sure my body was
really strong. I knew that I needed to be in
the best possible condition because pregnancy is not great on
(03:59):
anyone's fine. Pregnancy is not easy on the body and
some of the pain medications that I would utilize, like
say Europine it's not safe for pregnancy, So I also
needed to prepare for that.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
The spinal surgery you had, was that just a complication
of a surgery? Is that how you're expecting to come
out of it?
Speaker 3 (04:19):
Like?
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Was it something that it was just a complication.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
Yeah, it was a non complication that can happen. It
doesn't happen too often, but just the state I was in,
the disc matter was really messed up into the spinal
cord when they were operating. So it was like a
really rare complication in that case. But fast forward when
we talk about the second spinal surgery, it was a
much higher risk on that same thing happening. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
So you and your partner met in the UK. Yeah,
and then you got pregnant at thirty five. So was
that just one surgery between that twenty seven and thirty five?
Speaker 3 (04:54):
Yeah, So I had just needed the one surgery and
I think I was actually thirty four. It was not
quite a geriatric pregnancy. I do remember that it was
a disabled but not quite geriatric pregnancy. I had not
needed any more surgical interventions. I still had you know,
a pretty exciting bag of medications that I would use
(05:15):
when I needed, but I wouldn't need them daily or
even monthly, to be honest. But I hadn't don't had
to have any medical interventions after that first operation. It
wasn't until I got pregnant that things started to unravel.
And it was like it wasn't even a positive pregnancy test,
it was conception onwards. It was instant. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Yeah, the act of getting pregnant sort of undid all
of this hard, you know, rehabilitation work that you had done.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
I think without the rehabilitation work and the real I'd
spend a good twelve months with personal trainer, like I
want to get strong for pregnancy, so we'd be really
deliberate about that. So I think without it, things potentially
would have gone much worse. But what happened was as
soon as the relax and entered my system, I just
(06:08):
seemed to relax all the structures that I had built
up in my body to be strong, and so my
leg would hurt more, or my pens and needles would
be worse, or just bending on was like that shouldn't
that shouldn't hurt that much? Because managing a spinal l injury.
For that long, you kind of start to know like, ah,
(06:28):
this symptom I can put up with that, this symptom,
I need to triaute it this way, like it's for me.
It's like a little bit like having a child already,
like I had, I learned how to manage it. And
so once I got pregnant, I was like, this is
going in a direction that I am not used to.
It's escalating faster, the symptoms don't move through the same process,
and so pretty much straight away and we got pregnant
(06:51):
the first time we tried. So of all the things
we're going to share today, fertility was not one of
those issues for us. And I tested positive within a
couple of weeks. Like I woke up on a Monday
morning and said, I'm pregnant. My periods half now late.
It was literally one of those people. And I tested
the next day and that sort of explained it. And
(07:14):
so began a journey of just trying to keep up
with what was happening in my body. The pregnancy itself
was really easy. I think I was described as obstetrically boring.
But the container that had the uterus and the baby
was really complicated.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
I know that you mentioned a lot one of your
biggest issues was facing the medical system and trying to
figure out a way to manage your care correctly.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Can you talk to us a little bit about how
you entered the system and how you kind of were
able to gather a team. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
So we made the very deliberate choice to go into
the public system. The advice we received that I was
so complicated, we were probably going to be punted back
into the public system, so we started there. I shared
all of my medical information, so by the time I
was in that already put me into an obstetric stream.
I was not under the care of like a midware
(08:09):
free group practice or anything like that, primarily because they
just didn't know how my body was going to react.
So that was really good in that I was already
in that stream. What was really difficult was so round
about the three four month mark, I could not sleep
for the pain in my leg. Like I'm talking, I've
(08:30):
been awake for twenty four hours. I'm in so much discomfort,
and I fell over and I went to the hospital
because everything just felt wrong, and they end up doing
an MRI on my body because they wanted to see
what was happening with the spine during the pregnancy, So
that's great. The maternity hospitals connected to a normal hospital,
(08:52):
they do the MRI there. I come back to the
practice and the neuro surgery team has said, ah, it's
a minor dispulge, it'll be resolved in six to eight weeks.
And the midwife who's the one meeting me through the
obstetric stream, is like, but you'll be six to eight
weeks more pregnant by them. Then I have to go
away and come back and nothing's progressed because the neurosurgeons
(09:15):
don't know about babies and the obstetricians don't know about spines,
and nobody wants to help me with this app debilitating
pain where I'm not sleeping for days, like I'm not
able to sleep.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Yeah, And I suppose in terms of pain management, what
were you Because you can't take neurop and you can
take pan at all. But I suppose at that level
of pain, what were you able to take?
Speaker 3 (09:36):
So of my own volition, I could take the pan
at all, which is what's recommended, and you can't take neurophine,
and some of it was inflammation related, so that was
really frustrating, but anything stronger than that, like, I needed
the obstetrician and the neurosurgeon to kind of prescribe it.
So the issue we were having was no one would
prescribe it because they didn't know about the other thing.
And I turn up to one appointment and I'm just crying.
(10:00):
I'm in so much pain. I'm crying and midwives, bless them.
I love them. My sister in law's a midwife. It
is an amazing profession. She walks out and I can
hear her yell something like, I get in here. This
girl is suffering. You need to come in here and
help her. And so she appears to wrangle an obstetrician in.
(10:22):
I think there was a physician because I had gestational diabetes.
They couldn't get the neurosurgery person in, but they got
enough people in and she was like, what is the
pain management plan here? So eventually I got onto some
pretty like heavy medications, usually ones that you get like
after a C section, stuff like that that I could
use for cut through pain. So actually one of the
(10:43):
things that happened was they wanted to give me a
nerve pain medication. I took every day that would cut
down my nerve pain. I love life to the max,
so if you dull my nerve pain, I'm just going
to live there, right And I got my partner and
my mum at the time to look up the symptoms
because I couldn't cope with seeing that. They looked up
the symptoms and we've been given some of the information
(11:05):
from the doctor and there was a risk of heart
defect or the baby versus these other medications which are
often associated with being highly addictive. So I actually as
a patient went in and said, here are my patient
files in these addictive medications on and off throughout my disability.
(11:25):
I don't want to risk a heart issue with the
baby if I could demonstrate to you that I can
safely take these other medications. And so they agreed, which
was really great. They trusted me. I could give them evidence.
They trusted me. But that was probably one of the
first like really advocating for myself saying I want to
be able to take this type of medication in this
(11:45):
way under your care. And we also found one that
helped me stay asleep through the pain.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
It was like a like an antihistamine, an antihistamine one yep,
that I ended up taking quite a lot of.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
But it would if I could sleep through the pain.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
I was okay, yeah, So we.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Had a cocktail that I could. Initially didn't need to
take too much, but it got a lot more intense
over the time.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
This is only a four months mind you, So as
the pregnancy progresses, the pain's getting worse, I'm assuming because
you're getting bigger, obstetrically boring. So Bove is growing, She's.
Speaker 3 (12:21):
Doing all the things she's supposed to do. There was
nothing concerning, nothing to worry about. It was me that
wasn't coping. And prior to getting pregnant, I spent like
two to four days a fortnight in Sydney, like I
was traveling up there. I live in Melbourne. I was
traveling up there all the time. So at four months
I have to go back to work and say, hey,
(12:42):
I can't I'm to Sydney. I can't run these collaboration
workshops with loads of senior executives. I can't do my
job and I'm definitely not gonna be able to do
it for the rest of the duration of the pregnancy.
And I'd say the most surprising thing of the whole pregnancy.
I thought pregnancy was going to be hard because of
my back, but I thought that my workplace was going
(13:04):
to be somewhere I had to advocate for myself and
the medical system would be supportive as a person with
a disability who was pregnant. And it just was the
exact opposite. My workplace. I had a great boss and
a great hr business partner. They just found every policy
and every procedure and every available support to help me out.
(13:27):
They changed the type of work I was doing with
that impact in my income. They just did everything and
I never had to stress about work. I never had
to stress about needing to take a bit of time off.
I never had to stress about what was going to
happen when I came back. They went above and beyond.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
I mean, that's how it should be. It's not. Unfortunately,
it's not like that in every workplace, and I've experienced
both sides the coin and to have that level of support,
particularly with something chronic like what you have, yeah, and
have people being able to be like, you know what,
it's fine, We're going to make the accommodations because we
value you as an employee. That is just I'm so
(14:04):
glad that you at least had that, even though the
medical system was harder to navigate for you.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
I don't know how I would have been able to
cope with us fighting fires on two fronts. And bear
in mind, by the time I'm having this MRI and
getting this medication and this midwife has sort of ranked
the doctors. We're in January twenty twenty, we're it like
COVID's happening over there. It's something that we're not too
stressed about yet. So by the time I progressed through
(14:32):
this pregnancy, like, bear in mind, I'm still going to
the gym four or five times a week because I
have to keep moving. I've set this target for whatever reason,
that I'm going to be able to continue to do
overhead squats, Like if I can keep doing an overhead
squat with thirty five kilos on the bar, my body's
going to be doing okay. So say that it's hurting.
But I'm also like I'm on that bike, like, oh
(14:55):
my god, I got so circu the bike because it
was the only way I could get any cardio in
just doing everything sensible. So stopping the situps when you
had to stop situps, and I never did a box
jump because my foot doesn't work. But like I was,
I was going to the gym and working with people
I've worked with before I acquired my disability, throughout my disability,
throughout this pregnancy, to be like, how do I stay
(15:16):
as strong as I can within the context of this
unbearable pain.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
Amazing. It's also a testament to your mental strength as well.
Let's fast forward a little bit to March twenty twenty.
How far along are you ated in March twenty twenty
when COVID really hits.
Speaker 3 (15:31):
So by round about March, I'm already not going into
the city. Oh, because the other thing that happens at
the end of that year is the bushfires in Melbourne,
so pregnant people are not supposed to go outside. So like,
I've been working from home a lot at this point,
so I'm at home permanently. Like the idea of getting
into the office is just not possible. I am taking
(15:54):
these heavy medications like four times a day. I'm still working.
I'm lying in my bed. My partner stopped working because
I couldn't even stand to make a piece of toast,
so I could lie down in bed and do my
job camera off, but I couldn't really do too much else.
And so by this point I'm being treated by the
(16:17):
neurosurgery department within their physio department to help me with
anything particular that I need. I'm going in and out
of the hospital three or four times a week at
this point to be checked and make sure everything's fine.
But it was probably around that time that they said
to me, like I was really maxing out the amount
of pain meds we could take, and they said to me,
(16:41):
if it wasn't covid would probably take her out. But
we don't know the effect of COVID on baby's lungs,
So as long as you can cope with the pain,
would like to keep her inside.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
How far along we at this point.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
Thirty two thirty three weeks, You don't want to bring
a baby out early if you don't need to. So
it was round about Easter time, maybe April. I stopped
work and the hospital said, if you lose control of
your foot, your bladder, or your beoll, then irreparable damage
is happening to your body and will take the baby out.
(17:16):
But until then, can you take this medication? Can you
put up with the pain? And I was like, yep,
we can do that because you're like, you're already a mother, right,
You're already like, I will do anything for the health
and safety of this baby. And it wasn't going to
do a reprobable damage. And I probably spent half my
life floating in the bath at that point because that
(17:36):
was a nice feeling, like the temperature and it was
a good way to take the weight off. And we
just waited, coming up, You're gonna have to take the
baby else we can operate on her spine, no preamble,
no nothing, just goes and dry with that, and the
midwive's face drops.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
When did Theodora come out? Tell me about her birthday?
Speaker 3 (18:04):
So as everyone who had a baby in COVID knows, like,
you're in the hospital by yourself. So all my appointments,
my partner hadn't been able to come with me. But
I can't walk, like I'm on crutches. I can't walk.
I need a wheelchair once I get into the into
the hospital. So for thea's birth, it's Mother's Day twenty twenty,
It's a Sunday, and I call out to my partner.
(18:26):
I'm like, hey, so I can't move my foot and
they're like, Okay, I guess we're having a baby today.
And do you know what's the most ridiculous thing. We
hadn't packed a bag. Do you know how much like
energy and like Instagram is actually dedicated to like what
to put in your bag? We were so distracted with
everything else, we were like surprised we were having a baby. Anyway.
(18:47):
So we go into the hospital on the Mother's Day
afternoon and I'm really adamant the whole way through, even
though it's my spine that was not doing well. I
was not going into the main hospital. I was always
coming into the maternity hospital and they can bring the
specialist over. So they bring the specialist over. And it's
Mother's Days to the really, you know, if one's with
their families, and we get we're going to guess, like
(19:09):
the more junior doctors. So we're in the room with
my partner, a medwife, an obstetrician in the emergency room.
The neurosurgery junior I'm going to guess, comes in and
touches my foot, doesn't move, goes away. It causes boss
comes back and says, yeah, so you're gonna have to
take the baby out so we can operate on her spine.
(19:30):
No preamble, no, nothing, just goes and dry with that,
and the midwives face drops, like midwives have seen everything,
and your face drops, and that's the moment where we're like, oh,
this doesn't happen very often. She composes herself, as does Osressia,
like no one's unprofessional in that in that moment. But
they just sort of what felt like pushing up against
(19:52):
the system and constantly advocating for myself. Once that happened,
they just went, they launched, and they were like, right,
this is what we're gonna do.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
They finally became a team.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
They became a team. So I actually have a sensitivity
to some types of anesthetics. So I had to go
speak to the anethetist in the maternity hospital, and it
was a really interesting conversation because that trying to make
sure that you have the most gauging birth right, that
they want you to be there when the baby comes
(20:24):
out rather than under general anesthetic, and also there's risks
when you're under general anesthetic because it goes and it
gets into the baby pretty quick. But in my case,
the anethetist, I think, first of all, said Oh, you're
an exciting case today, so that was cool. I wasn't
obstetrically boring in that moment. And then said, oh, well,
because you've got scar tissue in your lower spine from
(20:46):
your spinal surgery, if we put an epidural in here,
you might feel some of the cuts. And I was like,
absolutely not. I don't want that. I don't want that
at all. I know No. It was just this really
bizarre like is that would that be okay by you?
And I'm like, no, I don't want to feel any
part of that sea section.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
That's insane.
Speaker 3 (21:08):
Look in the moment, I was just looking at them
like is this a real question? Like how do I
really have to respond and say no, thank you, I
don't want to feel any incision of my sea section.
But I mean, on the flip side, I end up
under general anesthetic for the birth. My partner couldn't be
in the room because it's really confronting to see your
loved ones out under anesthetic, but they had. I think
(21:30):
they took her out with them under a minute of.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Going under Oh wow.
Speaker 3 (21:33):
Because they don't want any of the They don't want
a baby to be born with the anesthetics.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
How many weeks were you when you finally went in
for that C section?
Speaker 3 (21:41):
I was thirty seven plus six. I've managed to carry
her to term, which will I think to this day
be one of my greatest accomplishments because we grew her
to a healthy size.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Oh, I'm so happy for you because that would have
been so stressful and considering the amount of pain that
you were under, it's amazing that you were able to
do that. But you basically had to go straight to
spinal surgery.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
Yeah, so they actually didn't take us straight, and they
sent my partner home and said, go have a good
night's sleep. This is so complicated. All of our specialists
will be here on Monday. We'll have everyone we need
so that Bria's under anesthetic, the baby safe, like, we'll
have the full team. That was okay. We went to
sleep that night, and so we had Theodora on Monday
(22:26):
about eleven something like that, and I'm under general anesthetic
and they take her out, give her to my partner
like walk away, and so they're like, is she okay?
Like everything fine? And they get given this like sticky
baby to get dressed in some formula and stuff. So
(22:47):
then later that day, they take me and get an MRI.
But like I've just had a c section, So there's
like six or eight people. They have to wheel me
between hospitals. There's all sorts of protocol because we're in COVID.
They wheel me through, they lift me up and put
me in the MRI, and like I was just lying,
(23:09):
you have to say still in the MRI. And I'm
just lying there with like tears like rolling down my
face because I'm just trying to hold myself so still
and I'm so terrified. Like last time this happened, I
lost the use of the leg. So we go back
to the hospital. I have a night with my partner
and my daughter, and then the next morning they wheeled
(23:32):
me off to the other hospital. And in this whole process,
the only time I saw my partner cry was when
I left to go to the other hospital. Because it
was COVID, they weren't allowed to come and see me
after the operation.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
And you weren't allowed to be with your baby either.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
I wasn't allowed to be with my baby, and initially
the hospital protocol said you need to go home with
the baby, and like hands washed done, right, because that's
what the protocol said, and to the hospital's credit, like
once we were having a baby. They were so good.
They were like, h this does not make sense. So
they called the head of the hospital on Mother's Day
(24:10):
and say, hey, we've got the situation within the other
parents should be staying in the hospital. We know that
that's not protocol, but this is a situation like I
couldn't get myself to the toilet, I couldn't do anything,
so my partner got to stay in the maternity hospital.
I went next door. I had a spinal surgery on
the Tuesday, and I like hyperventilated on the table before
(24:31):
they could knock me out because they said to me,
it's like a forty percent chance we're going to net
your spinal cord. And I'm like, wait, this isn't this
is like that's a lot. That's a really high and
then you have to lie perfectly flat or they have
to glo it back together, and I'm just like, I'm
a mess.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
And you've just had a C section.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
Yeah, so your hormones are absolutely like you're going to
You're going to cry and everything. Right. Everyone was just
so nice because this was just such a messed up situation,
and they calmed me down and I had the operation
and I woke up after the anesthetic and a friend
came and was my person there to help me through
(25:12):
and that was really great. And the hospital said, okay, well,
when you can get up, go to the toilet, not
passed out, come back to bed, you can go back
to your baby. So it's like eleven o'clock at night,
and like, I'm nothing if not stubborn, and I'm like
chop front to back trying to get out of bed
to go to the toilet, and the nurse is like,
(25:33):
nobody's letting you out of here tonight, No one is.
This is not happening till tomorrow morning. Lie down and
go to sleep. Absolutely adamant. I just needed to get
back there. The maternity hospital is so good, Like the
medwives were coming over and helping me get the colostrum
out so that they could take it back for Saya.
Everyone just was like, this is messed up. This would
be messed up with that COVID, and so they just
(25:54):
did everything that they could. And I had to have
two blood transfusions because you know, there's a lot of
blood coming out at this point, and the hospitals coordinated
for me so like, if the neurosurgery department had done
whatever blood test it was to see if I needed
another transfusion, they were responsible for administering it. So they
worked with the maternity hospital to like get the right
(26:17):
people to check me off so I could go back
to the maternity hospital and matternity hospital could be responsible
for any iron or blood transfusions that I needed, so
I could get back to my baby and stay there
with my partner, and they didn't have to leave because
I was back, because I wasn't doing anything other than
lying there. Like, it was an absolute mess in so
(26:38):
many ways, but people really rallied around to help us
make the best of it and to do the right
thing for us in those moments. And so what could
have been it's objectively quite traumatic, was less traumatic than
it needed to be because people just did the best
they could in that moment.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
Yeah, and your partner is, you know, obviously terrified for you.
Thankfully they're able to stay in the ward with the baby. Yeah,
but well, okay, now I'm a parent, what do I
do now?
Speaker 3 (27:11):
Like, so one of the real positives is my partner's
sister is a midlife and she was in the UK
at the time, so the night times and Australia were
like her daytime, so so like my partner could call
their sister and asked about So that was quite good.
The maternity hospital and the midwives were all standing outside
(27:32):
trying to help, and we stay for another like two
or three days. I say, there were two wounds to
check and all of that, but again, like it was
COVID time we went home. We have no family here.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
Yeah, and you're recovering from multiple surgeries.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
Yes, And the reason I went in was because my
foot wasn't working, so I'm learning to walk again. One
of the things that worked really well was that their
midwives would come to the house and check on you
and the baby and check on the c section, and
they also checked on the surgical scar that was my back,
rather than a second nurse happened to come in and
one checks the front, one checks the back, So like
they just coordinated on some really basic stuff that maybe
(28:11):
COVID prompted them to do. The neurosurgery department had hydrotherapy
recovery for their surgical patients. Yes, it was for my back,
but actually I'd also had this baby come out, and
so it was also so so good for my core recovery.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
Yeah, so now that these five how is your movement now?
How is your recovery being over the last five years.
Speaker 3 (28:36):
Look, I'm able to walk. I use a walking stick.
Today things are just deteriorating a little bit. But immediately
after her birth, my mum was actually able to come
from New Zealand and she happens to be a physical therapist,
so she really focused on how for me learn to
walk again?
Speaker 1 (28:52):
Oh that's amazing.
Speaker 3 (28:53):
And she stayed with us for six weeks, and so
I was able to walk much faster than she hadn't
have been there if I relied on all those other services.
Twelve months after I'd had there, I did a competition
at a CrossFit gym. I can last, like, don't get
me wrong, but I did it.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
Oh my god, you're amazing, Brier.
Speaker 3 (29:12):
I was back at the gym as much as I can.
My body is not the same as pre pregnancy, and
I don't have the same strength. My back is not
quite so good. But it's really hard to go to
the gym five days a week when you have a
baby and a kid, Like, it's just as different hard.
So I go. I do different things like I go
(29:35):
to acquicise classes, I ride a bike to work, I
do yoga stuff like that. But yeah, I got my
body back to being still disabled, but not it wasn't debilitating,
it wasn't forever.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
So that was really good from your story me hearing it,
You're saying you're stubborn, but I think it's it's to
your benefit in this stage because you were like, I'm
going to walk again. I really applaud you for that.
It's incredible.
Speaker 3 (29:59):
I like to take got really difficult jobs. And by
that I mean like I do a lot of disability
advocacy stuff, right, And I joke I've learned to walk
three times in my life, Like how hard can this be?
One of the benefits of acquiring disability in my twenties
is so much eager you have to let go. I've
walked with a limp since I was twenty seven. I
don't get to wear high heels, and some days the
medication makes my skin hurt. I don't wear make out
(30:20):
something like that. You get to figure out what really matters.
And I wanted to be a mom that was rolling
around in the garden with my kid, and so that
was the most important thing so why am I going
to the gym? Why am I doing this activity? Because
I want to be active in her life. And for example,
we made the choice not to have any more kids
because the surgeon's like, oh, you can have another one.
(30:42):
You might need a spinal fusion, And I was like,
a spinal fusion, a toddler and a newborn. Count me out.
I've got one kid. She's hilarious, she's such fun. I
get to be an active part of her life. That's
like the anchor point that's the most important in it.
My backslides to her, It's like, Hey, what do I
need to do to be the type of mum that
I want to be?
Speaker 1 (31:01):
What would you say that this whole experience has taught you?
Speaker 3 (31:05):
So I think I never really talked about having a
disability at work, and it impacted me hugely in my
career like it does because if you don't ask for
what you need, then it can really inhibit your ability
to do your job. And after I experienperience pregnancy and
the difficulties in the medical system and all the support
that I got at work, it actually encouraged me to
(31:27):
start speaking about this at work and I shared my
story once and then someone's like, hey, would you mind
telling a group of people, and I told my story
again and someone would message and say, hey, I'm now
asking for that because I knew this policy existed. And
then I got asked to lead our employee resource group
at my previous organization, and I got to bring together
(31:50):
people with disabilities and cares at work, and I got
to run an annual event for the whole company, and
then that snowboard in too, do you want to write
an accessibility action plan for the business, And then that
snowboarden to like winning awards and getting all of this traction,
and so I found that by last year I won
the Disability Inclusion Change Maker of the Year with the
(32:12):
Australian Disability Network simply off the back of I told
my story and it helps someone, And then it just
I just saw the power of your voice and sharing
your story and what you can do for someone and
how you can help them. And that was probably one
of the most beautiful things other than I don't know
to come out of this, was the confidence to share
(32:33):
it and how I've been able to help others.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
With such a complex medical case. I wanted to find
out from our resident obstrician and gynecologist doctor Bronwin and Devine.
What do you do if your patient has a complex
medical history and requires not just obstetric support but also
additional specialists.
Speaker 4 (32:57):
So this is probably done par excellence in the public
hospital system. It's certainly possible in the private sector. But
when you work in a big public hospital, you've got
access to what we call a multidisciplinary team. So if
someone had history spinal surgery or a spinal injury and
was pregnant, we would manage them in conjunction with the
(33:18):
spinal team, often the neuros surgents and the neurologists and
the very specialized nursing staff who deal with spinal patients.
We would liaise very carefully with the anthetists because they're
obviously very much involved with particularly if someone's having acessarean
section with analgesias going to be or anesthesia is going
(33:39):
to be conducted during that procedure. So it's one of
the good things about working in a big public hospital
is you get this lovely interaction between all the medical
teams coming and talking together and planning things in a
very methodical way for patients. One of the things I
noted in this particular case was that it occurred during
COVID and that was really must have been really rough
(34:01):
because COVID was such a I think we're realizing now
the far reaching impacts on pretty much all of society
by the COVID pandemic. People coming through the healthcare system
who may not have been affected by COVID, but people
whose health care was limited or compromised because there was
so much of healthcare resources that were being sequestered into
(34:25):
caring for critically sick people with COVID, and so it
meant that people's experiences in the healthcare system were certainly limited.
In this particular case, it would have been very tricky
for her to go through with all the limitations that
we had because of the compromise to the healthcare system.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
Diary of a Birth was hosted by me Caseni Lukitch
with expert input from doctor Bronwin Devine. If you like
our show, don't forget to subscribe and rate. It goes
a long way to allowing us to continue sharing your stories.
This episode was produced by Ella Maitland and myself Cassemu Lukitch,
with audio production by Tina Mattalov.
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