April 15, 2025 • 22 mins
Waters breaking in public, a head popping out in the shower, and neighbours rushing to help—Kate Longley's second birth took a very different path than planned!
In today’s episode, Kate shares how her birth with Jesse took a surprisingly swift turn when, shortly after her waters broke at home, she found herself cradling her newborn in the shower before help could even arrive. With no time to reach the hospital, Kate's neighbours—who happened to be mothers themselves—stepped in to help as Jesse was born in their family home.
Kate reflects on how, despite the surprising speed of Jesse’s arrival, her calm mindset and supportive community helped create a positive birth experience.
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Diary Of A Birth features mums telling their miraculous stories of bringing life into the world. If you’d like to share your birth story, we’d love to hear from you at podcast@mamamia.com.au or send us a voice note here.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters
that this podcast is recorded on. We pay our respects
to elders past, present and emerging, and feel privileged to
continue the sharing of birth stories and knowledge that has
been a fundamental part of Indigenous culture.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Hi.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
I'm Cassania Lukic and this is diary of a birth.
Giving birth is a team sport. We need a support system,
people to bring water, snacks, check on barb and of
course the dedicated punching bag. But imagine giving birth alone
in the shower. Today's mum faced this exact scenario. Fortunately,
(01:07):
she's one of the most relaxed women I've ever spoken to,
and she tackled this ordeal with an amount of chill
I will never possess.
Speaker 4 (01:19):
And Georgia retails.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
Is quite funny that I just looked up at her
and was like, oh, to like cool an ambulance.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
So let's meet today's maam.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
Hi I'm Kate and this is the diary of my
birth with Jesse.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
So Jesse was your second birth, Yes, okay, So tell
me about what life was like before you fell pregnant
with Jesse.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
So I had a three year old daughter and working
full time in Melbourne. My daughter's birth was relatively straightforward
as well. My waters broke, but I didn't go into labor,
so I did take myself off to hospital on the tram.
They monitored me for about a day or so, but
(02:06):
then ended up inducing me because I didn't go into
labor on my own, so had whatever the induction medication
is to make that happen. And so her birth was
pretty straightforward all over in about three hours, so fairly
quick as well, and everything was fine there and Yeah,
(02:28):
got through the new born phase and I thought I'm
never doing this again. That was crazy. But then when
she was about one, I was like, oh, it'd be
really nice to have another baby. Yeah. Felt pregnant with Jesse.
Both pregnancies relatively straightforward. I felt really good, felt very
lucky about that. Wasn't sick at all, no complications. The
(02:50):
only thing with Jesse was that I didn't feel him
moving all that much. So I think about three times
throughout that pregnancy I did take myself off to hospital
just being paranoid and asking them to check everything was okay.
And they're always very accommodating and amazing and would chuck
the monitor on and he's fine, don't worry. And so
(03:11):
I think he was just not that active.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Yeah, I was going to say, is there any particular
reason that they thought that he wasn't moving very much?
Speaker 3 (03:20):
No, no reason. I don't know if I maybe was
just busier too, with a working full time and with
a toddler, so wasn't as focused as you are with
the first child, where you'd like, notice everything and you're
really on top of Oh that the size of a
blueberry today, and they're the size of an apple today,
whereas the second one, you're like, I don't even know
(03:40):
how many weeks pregnant, too, busy.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
The exhaustion of being pregnant with a toddler is I
think worse than being pregnant but having a newborn totally.
Speaker 4 (03:50):
Did you have any.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Kind of birth plan going into it with Jesse, Like,
did you know how you wanted your birth to look?
Speaker 4 (03:58):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (03:59):
So with Henny, I wrote out a birth plan. I
wanted to be dark and everyone to just speak to
me really nicely, here's the music, all that stuff. And
then because her birth was kind of like I ended
up being induced and you kind of just go with
the flow. I thought the birth plan thing for the
second child was a bit out the window because I
(04:20):
was like, it is what it's going to be, and
there's not really much control I can have over it.
But the plan was to have him in the hospital.
That's kind of where I felt safe to do it.
My partner was going to be there, my best friend
who's also a dueler, was going to be there, and yeah,
my mum was going to stay home and look after Kenny,
my daughter. So yeah, that was the plan.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Did you end up having an epidural with your first birth? No,
you were induced and delivered un medicated. Yes, yeah, how
is that because induction contractions are different to normal contractions,
which I'm sure you'll.
Speaker 4 (04:55):
Be able to test to.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
It was weirdly alright, Like it was three hours and
it did hurt, but I don't know, it wasn't too bad.
Like I don't know. The whole time I was pregnant,
I just felt like it was horror story, horror story, pain, pain, pain.
But there was one colleague of mine at work who
recently had a baby, and she said to me, She's like,
it's not that bad, And I kind of just held
(05:16):
onto that, and while I was having Henny induced, I
was like, it's just not going to be that bad.
So they kept telling myself, and I'd also had this
sort of mantra that I said over and over, which
was labor pain is healthy pain, and so I just
kind of tried to focus on that.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
I love that labor pain is healthy pain. Anything you
can do to just convince yourself that this is.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
Fine exactly, Yeah, everything's cool.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
You get towards the end of your pregnancy, are you
feeling any braxton hicks, any sort of niggles, pain, anything
like that.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
No, not at all. I wasn't feeling him moving a
couple of times throughout the pregnancy, and at about thirty
eight or thirty nine weeks, I stopped feeling Jesse moving again,
and so I took myself off to hospital. I sort
of never told anyone because I just thought I was
being silly and whatever. So anyway, I took myself off
to hospital and they put me on the monitor straight away,
(06:12):
and everything was fine. But I think because I was
approaching full term or for whatever reason, I had to
stay overnight, and so I stayed overnight. Was fine. They
sent me back home that morning, so I went back
home on the tram. I don't drive, so I went
back home on the tram. My daughter was at daycare,
so was walking to go and pick her up at
(06:33):
about midday. I suppose got kind of halfway down the
street and I was like, oh, you know, I feel
like I'm going to wet my pants. I don't think
today's the day I need to be walking to pick
her up. So I messaged my partner and just said, look,
can you pick her up after work because I'm not
feeling it today. So I wandered back home and got
home and my water's broken.
Speaker 4 (06:55):
Was it a big gush? The trickle? What did you have?
Speaker 3 (06:58):
It was more of a gush this time than the
first one. Was more of a trickle vibe where I
didn't even really know what it was. Yeah, it was
more of a gush, and so I called the hospital.
I thought it was kind of funny because I had
just left the hospital, but called the hospital. So my
waters have just broken? Second baby, what do you think?
And they just said, chill out. You haven't even had
(07:19):
any contractions episode. It'll be hours, so no stress. Call
us tonight. So I message my partner and my mom
and my best friend, and I said just say, no,
my waters are broken, but no need to rush yet,
but I reckon tonight maybe we'll go in. So I
had to get my mum ready to take care of
my toddler and all that stuff.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
And so after your waters are broken, you've told everyone
you're kind of just walking around the house.
Speaker 4 (07:46):
You're cleaning. What are you doing?
Speaker 3 (07:49):
Yeah, just walking around the house. I live in an
apartment building and there are a bunch of other mums
in the building and we've got quite the little community.
So I had a WhatsApp chat going with the two
mums that lived downstairs from me, Georgia and Ellie. They've
got kids about the same age, and Georgia actually happens
to be a door as well. We're constantly on the
(08:11):
group chat being like who's kids sleeping or who has
bear Panadol or nappies or whatever, or who wants to
go and get a coffee or whatever. So I message
them and just said, hey, waters are broken, like see
you on the other side, and they were like good
luck and all that sort of stuff. Walking around the house.
Kind of made sure my bag was packed and thought, well,
(08:31):
I'll probably have a shower to clean up this water business,
and Kate.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
You were so killed, like the most chilled woman I've
ever spoken to.
Speaker 4 (08:40):
I love this especially.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Where because I know where this story is going.
Speaker 5 (08:46):
Well.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
Because my daughter was induced, I kind of didn't really
know what a natural labor would feel like, so I
just sort of was going with the flow.
Speaker 4 (08:55):
Yeah, okay, so you jump in the shower. You starting
to have some contractions.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
I was feeling just like a little bit period painy,
but nothing to what I thought was a contraction. I
did have my phone with me in the shower because
I had downloaded a contraction app for that reason that
I didn't really understand how contractions work, so I thought,
I'll tap this button when the contraction starts, and so
that was kind of next to me in the shower. Yeah,
(09:20):
I'm in the shower, And then like it did start
getting quite painful, and I sort of thought, oh God,
if this is early labor, like a natural early labor,
not induced, I think I probably will need some drugs
this time because it's really hurting. I kind of got
to a point in the shower where I was sort
of in so much pain that I got down on
all fours and then looked down and his whole head
(09:42):
was outside.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Did you feel that him crowning or you just kind
of were like in so much prain, you were so
focused on the contraction.
Speaker 4 (09:50):
That you didn't quite realize.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
Yeah, I didn't quite realize. I think I just didn't
know what to expect because of an induced birth versus
a natural birth. And yeah, just in a lot of pain,
to the point where I couldn't stand up anymore, so
had to get on all fours and then his whole
head was out, and so my phone was there, and
so I messaged the mums downstairs, who I knew are
(10:12):
home because they were home with young kids, and I
just wrote help. And I've actually got a copy of
the messages. It's really funny because one of them says,
do you need help? And then all of my next
messages just make no sense. I think I was trying
to type yes, but it was like a dollar sign,
and then I did manage to write head out.
Speaker 4 (10:33):
Okay, so the heads out. You're by yourself, Yes, in
your apartment?
Speaker 2 (10:37):
Yes, have you been able to call your husband at
this time?
Speaker 3 (10:41):
Or well, I'd already kind of told him like maybe
you know, make your way home because it'll probably be tonight.
And then that's all he knew. And same with my
mum and my best friend, because I just thought I'm
just going to have a shower to clean up the waters.
I didn't know it was going to crown in the shower.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Okay, So his head's out and then I'm imagining the
rest of it was fairly straightforward in terms of coming out.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
Yeah. So the two mums who I was what's happening,
Georgia and Ellie. They came upstairs and by that point
I'm in the shower like holding him in my arm.
Speaker 4 (11:16):
So he's all the.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Way out, and Georgia retails his quite funny that I
just looked up at her and was like, do you
think we should have called.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
An ambulance coming up next?
Speaker 3 (11:28):
Yeah? I guess. I just want people to know that
birth cannot be that bad, Like it doesn't have to
be really really painful, and you shouldn't be scared.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
So was he still attached to the umbilical court, like,
because you said that the placenta.
Speaker 4 (11:46):
Was still inside.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Yes, So you're on the ground in the shower to
paint me a picture.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
Yes, So on the ground in the shower, shower is
still going. I'm like totally naked in front of my
neighbors at this point holding a baby, but umbilical court
still in the placenta, still in shower, running Georgia and
Ellie rushing. Georgia wrapped us up in a towel and
kind of somehow got us into my bed and like
(12:13):
put towels down. She was very business, and Ellie meanwhile
jumped on triple O and called an ambulance. And it
felt very quick, and I think because everything was totally
okay with him and me, I didn't even have time
to really feel scared, like it was just all fine
and done. And it felt like the ambulance was there
(12:35):
in about two seconds as well, Like I don't know
how long it was, maybe ten minutes, but they were
very fast, and so I kind of felt very supported for.
Speaker 4 (12:45):
The ambulance come in.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
You're in the bed at this point, Bob's is laying
with you.
Speaker 4 (12:51):
Have you birth the placenta yet?
Speaker 3 (12:53):
No? And I actually didn't until I got to the hospital.
So after you know, getting wheeled out in the whatever
those beds are called in the ambulance, down the road
into the thosball and I had to stand up and
then the placenta just fell out.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
So when did you tell your partner and your mom
that you had had the baby?
Speaker 3 (13:13):
He was already making his way home from the messages
that I'd sent, and about fifteen minutes later the ambulance
got there. He arrived home with my daughter, who couldn't
care less. She was just like, whatever, let's watch cartoons
and can I have an icy pole?
Speaker 4 (13:31):
But my mom.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
Tells the story that she was walking down the street
and saw the ambulance outside my house and absolutely panicked
and so came running, and so she arrived about the
same time as did my best friend, so they all
kind of missed it by about twenty minutes. And then yeah,
my partner and I and the baby got into the
ambulance and off we went, and my mom stayed home
with my daughter. And Yeah, what was his response when
(13:56):
he walked in shock? But also I think he was
kind of happy that he didn't have to hang around
the hospital for thirty eight hours.
Speaker 4 (14:03):
How long were you in the hospital for?
Speaker 3 (14:05):
Yeah, so I went into hospital just to get everything
checked out, and everything was completely fine, except that I
had high blood pressure, which I think they told me
was maybe from shock, and so I ended up actually
staying for a longer amount of time and I did
with my first born, just to get that blood pressure down.
But yeah, otherwise everything was fine. He was exactly the
(14:28):
same weight as my firstborn. And what was your mom's response, Yeah,
she I think was a bit in all, probably, and
then just she bless her, just went straight into looking
after my daughter mode. My daughter did get a bit
upset when I was taken away in the ambulance. She
was sort of didn't understand what was happening, and so
Mum was great and looked after her and made sure
(14:50):
she was happy and comfortable and excited for her baby brother.
And yeah, she's a great big sister. Oh my gosh, it.
Speaker 4 (14:58):
Sounds like a kind of a dream birth.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
I mean, I know that you will buy yourself alone
in the shower, but it all seemed to have just
happened very quote unquote easily.
Speaker 4 (15:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
Very lucky that nothing was wrong, because it would have
been a very different story if anything had been wrong
with Jesse or me. But because it was no complications,
I feel really lucky that it happened at home and
was fast.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
When his head first came out, did you feel fear
or was it shock or was it just like it
sort of residing yourself to the fact that this is
what was happening.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
Yeah, I think that this is what was happening. Let's
get on with it, all right, there's ahead here. Really
grateful to the two mums that were living downstairs, because
I think if I'd been in a standalone house on
my own with no one around, like, what would I
have done. I'm not too sure. I don't know if
I could have stood up by myself to get a
(15:56):
phone or I don't know. So I feel really grateful
that they were there and were home, and that my
front door was open and they could just barge in
and help me out.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
If you were to have another child, would you be
staying very close to the hospital or would you be like,
I'm just going to have a home birth.
Speaker 3 (16:11):
I think I probably would try to have a home birth.
I've got nothing against hospitals either. I feel very safe
in a hospital with experts around me, but I feel
like maybe being at home, I felt relaxed and comfortable
enough to just birth. And actually, when I got to
the hospital they did question me as to whether I
was trying to do a free birth on my own
(16:34):
without kind of telling anyone, and I'm like, no, no, no,
My plan was to be here. I mean, I was
here this morning.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
It's a pretty remarkable story because I think about both
of my births and they were very long. From when
your water broke to when he was born.
Speaker 4 (16:49):
How long was that?
Speaker 3 (16:51):
I think like half an hour, because yeah, I got
into the shower pretty quickly, and to be honest, like
I don't even really remember feeling proper contraction. It was
just like, oh, I mean, heaps of pain, and if
this is early labor, no thank you. But then I
guess that was crowning.
Speaker 4 (17:08):
I'm just really flawed. Did you have any of the doctors.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
Or midwives or anyone tell you why this has happened
or any any insight into it or just the way
that you labor?
Speaker 3 (17:18):
I think it's just the way that I labor. I mean,
this one was pretty good too, And maybe it's just
that cheeky so can maybe like I feel like they're
often quite quick.
Speaker 4 (17:27):
What an amazing story, Kate.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
Yeah, I feel very lucky, and I feel like I
didn't have any control over it. It's not like I chose
for that to happen. It just happened to me, and
I'm grateful, really grateful that it all went Okay.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
I think one of the things that you said to
me that I really liked was that, even though it
was a crazy story, you wanted to give a positive
impression of how birthing could be.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
Yeah. I feel like while I was pregnant, it was
just a lot of horror stories about how painful birth
can be and it's, you know, the worst day ever. Yeah.
I guess I just want people to know that birth
cannot be that bad, Like it doesn't have to be
really really painful, and you shouldn't be scared. But I
do recognize that I come from a lucky position where
(18:14):
nothing went wrong, and I know that every birth is
very different. And yeah, I'm.
Speaker 4 (18:19):
Grateful for that. Unicorn berth.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Okay, Well, you know, it really says a lot about
how much the mind can help you and something like that.
Speaker 4 (18:29):
I think the fact that you were able to stay.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
Calm and just in that fight or flight moment kind
of go I'm going to fight, I'm going to stay calm,
and I'm just going to do it. Yeah, because it
probably would have been a slightly different outcome if.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
You had panicked totally. Yeah, And I think because it
was everything was so fast, I didn't have time to panic.
I didn't have time to get scared. Like if it
had been a long time with his head out and
not his body, maybe I would have freaked out. But
I guess it was one more push and he was
all the way out. It's a bit of a blur.
And then my neighbors were there within what felt like
(19:01):
two seconds, and then the ambulance was there within two seconds,
so it all felt very kind of supported. And yeah,
I didn't have time to freak out.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
I just got this image in my head of your
girlfriends walking in the front door and walking into the
bathroom with you just on the floor with the shower
running and.
Speaker 4 (19:20):
A baby in your arms.
Speaker 3 (19:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
Well, Kate, thank you so much for sharing your story.
So Jesse is now five.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
Yes, just out of prep.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
Yeah, that's exciting. And then Henny is seven now yes.
Now does Jesse know that he was born in the shower?
Speaker 3 (19:36):
I have told him that he's like the cheeky shower baby,
and we do chat about it. The three of us
is only kind of just realized what that means in
the last year. Or so, and Henny really likes that
story too, I bet.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
Thank you so much, Kate, I am just blown away
by you.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
No thanks.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
To talk us through some of the medical specifics. This
week we have obstetrucian and kynecologist doctor bromin Divine. I
wanted to know why does some babies move more than
others in the womb.
Speaker 5 (20:12):
The commonest reason for people not feeling one bub move
as much as an earlier pregnancy. The commonest reason for
that would be the position of the placenter. So if
the placenters in the front wall, you'll have a bit
of a buffer between the fetal movements and what you
can perceive through your abdominal wall. So people who have
an anterior percenter a front wall percenter often feel movements
(20:36):
much less than if people have the placenta on the
back wall. And you've got baby, then a little bit
of amniotic fluid, then uterus, then abdominal wall, so you'll
feel the baby a lot more if it's closer to
your tummy, well, closer to your abdominal wall. So that's
the commonest reason for feeling one baby move more than
another in terms of you know, serial pregnancy. So like
(20:58):
your first pregnancy, this baby is really active. Second pregnancy,
we're not quite as active. The commerce reason of that
is just the position of the placenter. But some babies
are very active at certain times. You know, some baby
is very active at night. Are the ones that are
more active during the day. And certainly, you know, some
women say, you know, this baby's crazy active, but you know,
my second child definitely didn't feel as much. And it
(21:21):
may not be related to the position of the percenter,
but certainly the position of the percenter would be the
commonest factor in determining how much people feel their movements.
And some people just say, this kid just nice and
relaxed on these other kids always moving around. So and
I think when we talk to people about their movements,
because we use movements as an indicator of fetal well being,
(21:44):
and we say to people all the time, just keep
an eye on your movements. Let us know if you're
concerned about your movements. People do get a sort of
an idea about how much their baby moves and that
baby's pattern of movement. So what we're asking them to
do is not necessarily count a certain number of movements
for every baby, but just to have a bit of
(22:04):
a perception of what their own baby's movement pattern is
like and whether that changes significantly.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
Diary of a Birth was hosted by me Kasanu lu Kitch,
with expert input from doctor browin Devine. If you have
a birth story, we'd love to hear from you. Details
are in the show notes. This episode was produced by
Tina Matalov and myself Casseny Lukitch, with audio production by
Leah Porgies.
You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters
that this podcast is recorded on. We pay our respects
to elders past, present and emerging, and feel privileged to
continue the sharing of birth stories and knowledge that has
been a fundamental part of Indigenous culture.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Hi.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
I'm Cassania Lukic and this is diary of a birth.
Giving birth is a team sport. We need a support system,
people to bring water, snacks, check on barb and of
course the dedicated punching bag. But imagine giving birth alone
in the shower. Today's mum faced this exact scenario. Fortunately,
(01:07):
she's one of the most relaxed women I've ever spoken to,
and she tackled this ordeal with an amount of chill
I will never possess.
Speaker 4 (01:19):
And Georgia retails.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
Is quite funny that I just looked up at her
and was like, oh, to like cool an ambulance.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
So let's meet today's maam.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
Hi I'm Kate and this is the diary of my
birth with Jesse.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
So Jesse was your second birth, Yes, okay, So tell
me about what life was like before you fell pregnant
with Jesse.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
So I had a three year old daughter and working
full time in Melbourne. My daughter's birth was relatively straightforward
as well. My waters broke, but I didn't go into labor,
so I did take myself off to hospital on the tram.
They monitored me for about a day or so, but
(02:06):
then ended up inducing me because I didn't go into
labor on my own, so had whatever the induction medication
is to make that happen. And so her birth was
pretty straightforward all over in about three hours, so fairly
quick as well, and everything was fine there and Yeah,
(02:28):
got through the new born phase and I thought I'm
never doing this again. That was crazy. But then when
she was about one, I was like, oh, it'd be
really nice to have another baby. Yeah. Felt pregnant with Jesse.
Both pregnancies relatively straightforward. I felt really good, felt very
lucky about that. Wasn't sick at all, no complications. The
(02:50):
only thing with Jesse was that I didn't feel him
moving all that much. So I think about three times
throughout that pregnancy I did take myself off to hospital
just being paranoid and asking them to check everything was okay.
And they're always very accommodating and amazing and would chuck
the monitor on and he's fine, don't worry. And so
(03:11):
I think he was just not that active.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Yeah, I was going to say, is there any particular
reason that they thought that he wasn't moving very much?
Speaker 3 (03:20):
No, no reason. I don't know if I maybe was
just busier too, with a working full time and with
a toddler, so wasn't as focused as you are with
the first child, where you'd like, notice everything and you're
really on top of Oh that the size of a
blueberry today, and they're the size of an apple today,
whereas the second one, you're like, I don't even know
(03:40):
how many weeks pregnant, too, busy.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
The exhaustion of being pregnant with a toddler is I
think worse than being pregnant but having a newborn totally.
Speaker 4 (03:50):
Did you have any.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Kind of birth plan going into it with Jesse, Like,
did you know how you wanted your birth to look?
Speaker 4 (03:58):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (03:59):
So with Henny, I wrote out a birth plan. I
wanted to be dark and everyone to just speak to
me really nicely, here's the music, all that stuff. And
then because her birth was kind of like I ended
up being induced and you kind of just go with
the flow. I thought the birth plan thing for the
second child was a bit out the window because I
(04:20):
was like, it is what it's going to be, and
there's not really much control I can have over it.
But the plan was to have him in the hospital.
That's kind of where I felt safe to do it.
My partner was going to be there, my best friend
who's also a dueler, was going to be there, and yeah,
my mum was going to stay home and look after Kenny,
my daughter. So yeah, that was the plan.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Did you end up having an epidural with your first birth? No,
you were induced and delivered un medicated. Yes, yeah, how
is that because induction contractions are different to normal contractions,
which I'm sure you'll.
Speaker 4 (04:55):
Be able to test to.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
It was weirdly alright, Like it was three hours and
it did hurt, but I don't know, it wasn't too bad.
Like I don't know. The whole time I was pregnant,
I just felt like it was horror story, horror story, pain, pain, pain.
But there was one colleague of mine at work who
recently had a baby, and she said to me, She's like,
it's not that bad, And I kind of just held
(05:16):
onto that, and while I was having Henny induced, I
was like, it's just not going to be that bad.
So they kept telling myself, and I'd also had this
sort of mantra that I said over and over, which
was labor pain is healthy pain, and so I just
kind of tried to focus on that.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
I love that labor pain is healthy pain. Anything you
can do to just convince yourself that this is.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
Fine exactly, Yeah, everything's cool.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
You get towards the end of your pregnancy, are you
feeling any braxton hicks, any sort of niggles, pain, anything
like that.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
No, not at all. I wasn't feeling him moving a
couple of times throughout the pregnancy, and at about thirty
eight or thirty nine weeks, I stopped feeling Jesse moving again,
and so I took myself off to hospital. I sort
of never told anyone because I just thought I was
being silly and whatever. So anyway, I took myself off
to hospital and they put me on the monitor straight away,
(06:12):
and everything was fine. But I think because I was
approaching full term or for whatever reason, I had to
stay overnight, and so I stayed overnight. Was fine. They
sent me back home that morning, so I went back
home on the tram. I don't drive, so I went
back home on the tram. My daughter was at daycare,
so was walking to go and pick her up at
(06:33):
about midday. I suppose got kind of halfway down the
street and I was like, oh, you know, I feel
like I'm going to wet my pants. I don't think
today's the day I need to be walking to pick
her up. So I messaged my partner and just said, look,
can you pick her up after work because I'm not
feeling it today. So I wandered back home and got
home and my water's broken.
Speaker 4 (06:55):
Was it a big gush? The trickle? What did you have?
Speaker 3 (06:58):
It was more of a gush this time than the
first one. Was more of a trickle vibe where I
didn't even really know what it was. Yeah, it was
more of a gush, and so I called the hospital.
I thought it was kind of funny because I had
just left the hospital, but called the hospital. So my
waters have just broken? Second baby, what do you think?
And they just said, chill out. You haven't even had
(07:19):
any contractions episode. It'll be hours, so no stress. Call
us tonight. So I message my partner and my mom
and my best friend, and I said just say, no,
my waters are broken, but no need to rush yet,
but I reckon tonight maybe we'll go in. So I
had to get my mum ready to take care of
my toddler and all that stuff.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
And so after your waters are broken, you've told everyone
you're kind of just walking around the house.
Speaker 4 (07:46):
You're cleaning. What are you doing?
Speaker 3 (07:49):
Yeah, just walking around the house. I live in an
apartment building and there are a bunch of other mums
in the building and we've got quite the little community.
So I had a WhatsApp chat going with the two
mums that lived downstairs from me, Georgia and Ellie. They've
got kids about the same age, and Georgia actually happens
to be a door as well. We're constantly on the
(08:11):
group chat being like who's kids sleeping or who has
bear Panadol or nappies or whatever, or who wants to
go and get a coffee or whatever. So I message
them and just said, hey, waters are broken, like see
you on the other side, and they were like good
luck and all that sort of stuff. Walking around the house.
Kind of made sure my bag was packed and thought, well,
(08:31):
I'll probably have a shower to clean up this water business,
and Kate.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
You were so killed, like the most chilled woman I've
ever spoken to.
Speaker 4 (08:40):
I love this especially.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Where because I know where this story is going.
Speaker 5 (08:46):
Well.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
Because my daughter was induced, I kind of didn't really
know what a natural labor would feel like, so I
just sort of was going with the flow.
Speaker 4 (08:55):
Yeah, okay, so you jump in the shower. You starting
to have some contractions.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
I was feeling just like a little bit period painy,
but nothing to what I thought was a contraction. I
did have my phone with me in the shower because
I had downloaded a contraction app for that reason that
I didn't really understand how contractions work, so I thought,
I'll tap this button when the contraction starts, and so
that was kind of next to me in the shower. Yeah,
(09:20):
I'm in the shower, And then like it did start
getting quite painful, and I sort of thought, oh God,
if this is early labor, like a natural early labor,
not induced, I think I probably will need some drugs
this time because it's really hurting. I kind of got
to a point in the shower where I was sort
of in so much pain that I got down on
all fours and then looked down and his whole head
(09:42):
was outside.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Did you feel that him crowning or you just kind
of were like in so much prain, you were so
focused on the contraction.
Speaker 4 (09:50):
That you didn't quite realize.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
Yeah, I didn't quite realize. I think I just didn't
know what to expect because of an induced birth versus
a natural birth. And yeah, just in a lot of pain,
to the point where I couldn't stand up anymore, so
had to get on all fours and then his whole
head was out, and so my phone was there, and
so I messaged the mums downstairs, who I knew are
(10:12):
home because they were home with young kids, and I
just wrote help. And I've actually got a copy of
the messages. It's really funny because one of them says,
do you need help? And then all of my next
messages just make no sense. I think I was trying
to type yes, but it was like a dollar sign,
and then I did manage to write head out.
Speaker 4 (10:33):
Okay, so the heads out. You're by yourself, Yes, in
your apartment?
Speaker 2 (10:37):
Yes, have you been able to call your husband at
this time?
Speaker 3 (10:41):
Or well, I'd already kind of told him like maybe
you know, make your way home because it'll probably be tonight.
And then that's all he knew. And same with my
mum and my best friend, because I just thought I'm
just going to have a shower to clean up the waters.
I didn't know it was going to crown in the shower.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Okay, So his head's out and then I'm imagining the
rest of it was fairly straightforward in terms of coming out.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
Yeah. So the two mums who I was what's happening,
Georgia and Ellie. They came upstairs and by that point
I'm in the shower like holding him in my arm.
Speaker 4 (11:16):
So he's all the.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Way out, and Georgia retails his quite funny that I
just looked up at her and was like, do you
think we should have called.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
An ambulance coming up next?
Speaker 3 (11:28):
Yeah? I guess. I just want people to know that
birth cannot be that bad, Like it doesn't have to
be really really painful, and you shouldn't be scared.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
So was he still attached to the umbilical court, like,
because you said that the placenta.
Speaker 4 (11:46):
Was still inside.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Yes, So you're on the ground in the shower to
paint me a picture.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
Yes, So on the ground in the shower, shower is
still going. I'm like totally naked in front of my
neighbors at this point holding a baby, but umbilical court
still in the placenta, still in shower, running Georgia and
Ellie rushing. Georgia wrapped us up in a towel and
kind of somehow got us into my bed and like
(12:13):
put towels down. She was very business, and Ellie meanwhile
jumped on triple O and called an ambulance. And it
felt very quick, and I think because everything was totally
okay with him and me, I didn't even have time
to really feel scared, like it was just all fine
and done. And it felt like the ambulance was there
(12:35):
in about two seconds as well, Like I don't know
how long it was, maybe ten minutes, but they were
very fast, and so I kind of felt very supported for.
Speaker 4 (12:45):
The ambulance come in.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
You're in the bed at this point, Bob's is laying
with you.
Speaker 4 (12:51):
Have you birth the placenta yet?
Speaker 3 (12:53):
No? And I actually didn't until I got to the hospital.
So after you know, getting wheeled out in the whatever
those beds are called in the ambulance, down the road
into the thosball and I had to stand up and
then the placenta just fell out.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
So when did you tell your partner and your mom
that you had had the baby?
Speaker 3 (13:13):
He was already making his way home from the messages
that I'd sent, and about fifteen minutes later the ambulance
got there. He arrived home with my daughter, who couldn't
care less. She was just like, whatever, let's watch cartoons
and can I have an icy pole?
Speaker 4 (13:31):
But my mom.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
Tells the story that she was walking down the street
and saw the ambulance outside my house and absolutely panicked
and so came running, and so she arrived about the
same time as did my best friend, so they all
kind of missed it by about twenty minutes. And then yeah,
my partner and I and the baby got into the
ambulance and off we went, and my mom stayed home
with my daughter. And Yeah, what was his response when
(13:56):
he walked in shock? But also I think he was
kind of happy that he didn't have to hang around
the hospital for thirty eight hours.
Speaker 4 (14:03):
How long were you in the hospital for?
Speaker 3 (14:05):
Yeah, so I went into hospital just to get everything
checked out, and everything was completely fine, except that I
had high blood pressure, which I think they told me
was maybe from shock, and so I ended up actually
staying for a longer amount of time and I did
with my first born, just to get that blood pressure down.
But yeah, otherwise everything was fine. He was exactly the
(14:28):
same weight as my firstborn. And what was your mom's response, Yeah,
she I think was a bit in all, probably, and
then just she bless her, just went straight into looking
after my daughter mode. My daughter did get a bit
upset when I was taken away in the ambulance. She
was sort of didn't understand what was happening, and so
Mum was great and looked after her and made sure
(14:50):
she was happy and comfortable and excited for her baby brother.
And yeah, she's a great big sister. Oh my gosh, it.
Speaker 4 (14:58):
Sounds like a kind of a dream birth.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
I mean, I know that you will buy yourself alone
in the shower, but it all seemed to have just
happened very quote unquote easily.
Speaker 4 (15:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
Very lucky that nothing was wrong, because it would have
been a very different story if anything had been wrong
with Jesse or me. But because it was no complications,
I feel really lucky that it happened at home and
was fast.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
When his head first came out, did you feel fear
or was it shock or was it just like it
sort of residing yourself to the fact that this is
what was happening.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
Yeah, I think that this is what was happening. Let's
get on with it, all right, there's ahead here. Really
grateful to the two mums that were living downstairs, because
I think if I'd been in a standalone house on
my own with no one around, like, what would I
have done. I'm not too sure. I don't know if
I could have stood up by myself to get a
(15:56):
phone or I don't know. So I feel really grateful
that they were there and were home, and that my
front door was open and they could just barge in
and help me out.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
If you were to have another child, would you be
staying very close to the hospital or would you be like,
I'm just going to have a home birth.
Speaker 3 (16:11):
I think I probably would try to have a home birth.
I've got nothing against hospitals either. I feel very safe
in a hospital with experts around me, but I feel
like maybe being at home, I felt relaxed and comfortable
enough to just birth. And actually, when I got to
the hospital they did question me as to whether I
was trying to do a free birth on my own
(16:34):
without kind of telling anyone, and I'm like, no, no, no,
My plan was to be here. I mean, I was
here this morning.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
It's a pretty remarkable story because I think about both
of my births and they were very long. From when
your water broke to when he was born.
Speaker 4 (16:49):
How long was that?
Speaker 3 (16:51):
I think like half an hour, because yeah, I got
into the shower pretty quickly, and to be honest, like
I don't even really remember feeling proper contraction. It was
just like, oh, I mean, heaps of pain, and if
this is early labor, no thank you. But then I
guess that was crowning.
Speaker 4 (17:08):
I'm just really flawed. Did you have any of the doctors.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
Or midwives or anyone tell you why this has happened
or any any insight into it or just the way
that you labor?
Speaker 3 (17:18):
I think it's just the way that I labor. I mean,
this one was pretty good too, And maybe it's just
that cheeky so can maybe like I feel like they're
often quite quick.
Speaker 4 (17:27):
What an amazing story, Kate.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
Yeah, I feel very lucky, and I feel like I
didn't have any control over it. It's not like I chose
for that to happen. It just happened to me, and
I'm grateful, really grateful that it all went Okay.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
I think one of the things that you said to
me that I really liked was that, even though it
was a crazy story, you wanted to give a positive
impression of how birthing could be.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
Yeah. I feel like while I was pregnant, it was
just a lot of horror stories about how painful birth
can be and it's, you know, the worst day ever. Yeah.
I guess I just want people to know that birth
cannot be that bad, Like it doesn't have to be
really really painful, and you shouldn't be scared. But I
do recognize that I come from a lucky position where
(18:14):
nothing went wrong, and I know that every birth is
very different. And yeah, I'm.
Speaker 4 (18:19):
Grateful for that. Unicorn berth.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Okay, Well, you know, it really says a lot about
how much the mind can help you and something like that.
Speaker 4 (18:29):
I think the fact that you were able to stay.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
Calm and just in that fight or flight moment kind
of go I'm going to fight, I'm going to stay calm,
and I'm just going to do it. Yeah, because it
probably would have been a slightly different outcome if.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
You had panicked totally. Yeah, And I think because it
was everything was so fast, I didn't have time to panic.
I didn't have time to get scared. Like if it
had been a long time with his head out and
not his body, maybe I would have freaked out. But
I guess it was one more push and he was
all the way out. It's a bit of a blur.
And then my neighbors were there within what felt like
(19:01):
two seconds, and then the ambulance was there within two seconds,
so it all felt very kind of supported. And yeah,
I didn't have time to freak out.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
I just got this image in my head of your
girlfriends walking in the front door and walking into the
bathroom with you just on the floor with the shower
running and.
Speaker 4 (19:20):
A baby in your arms.
Speaker 3 (19:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
Well, Kate, thank you so much for sharing your story.
So Jesse is now five.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
Yes, just out of prep.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
Yeah, that's exciting. And then Henny is seven now yes.
Now does Jesse know that he was born in the shower?
Speaker 3 (19:36):
I have told him that he's like the cheeky shower baby,
and we do chat about it. The three of us
is only kind of just realized what that means in
the last year. Or so, and Henny really likes that
story too, I bet.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
Thank you so much, Kate, I am just blown away
by you.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
No thanks.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
To talk us through some of the medical specifics. This
week we have obstetrucian and kynecologist doctor bromin Divine. I
wanted to know why does some babies move more than
others in the womb.
Speaker 5 (20:12):
The commonest reason for people not feeling one bub move
as much as an earlier pregnancy. The commonest reason for
that would be the position of the placenter. So if
the placenters in the front wall, you'll have a bit
of a buffer between the fetal movements and what you
can perceive through your abdominal wall. So people who have
an anterior percenter a front wall percenter often feel movements
(20:36):
much less than if people have the placenta on the
back wall. And you've got baby, then a little bit
of amniotic fluid, then uterus, then abdominal wall, so you'll
feel the baby a lot more if it's closer to
your tummy, well, closer to your abdominal wall. So that's
the commonest reason for feeling one baby move more than
another in terms of you know, serial pregnancy. So like
(20:58):
your first pregnancy, this baby is really active. Second pregnancy,
we're not quite as active. The commerce reason of that
is just the position of the placenter. But some babies
are very active at certain times. You know, some baby
is very active at night. Are the ones that are
more active during the day. And certainly, you know, some
women say, you know, this baby's crazy active, but you know,
my second child definitely didn't feel as much. And it
(21:21):
may not be related to the position of the percenter,
but certainly the position of the percenter would be the
commonest factor in determining how much people feel their movements.
And some people just say, this kid just nice and
relaxed on these other kids always moving around. So and
I think when we talk to people about their movements,
because we use movements as an indicator of fetal well being,
(21:44):
and we say to people all the time, just keep
an eye on your movements. Let us know if you're
concerned about your movements. People do get a sort of
an idea about how much their baby moves and that
baby's pattern of movement. So what we're asking them to
do is not necessarily count a certain number of movements
for every baby, but just to have a bit of
(22:04):
a perception of what their own baby's movement pattern is
like and whether that changes significantly.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
Diary of a Birth was hosted by me Kasanu lu Kitch,
with expert input from doctor browin Devine. If you have
a birth story, we'd love to hear from you. Details
are in the show notes. This episode was produced by
Tina Matalov and myself Casseny Lukitch, with audio production by
Leah Porgies.
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