March 11, 2025 • 26 mins
We all know that having a strong support system is vital during pregnancy and birth—but what happens when you're pregnant and your relationship is simultaneously falling apart? In today's episode, Simone Holtznagel discusses how her pregnancy journey coincided with relationship challenges that led to her becoming a single mother when her daughter Gia was just a few weeks old.
Simone also shares how she handled an epidural despite an insane fear of needles, an unexpected spinal injury complication, and how placenta encapsulation helped her postpartum recovery. Despite facing the unforeseen challenges of new motherhood alone, Simone's refreshingly optimistic perspective offers inspiration for anyone navigating parenthood through difficult circumstances.
Diary Of A Birth features mums telling their miraculous stories of bringing life into the world. If you’d like to share your birth story, we’d love to hear from you at podcast@mamamia.com.au or send us a voice note here.
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CREDITS:
Host: Ksenija Lukich
Birth Story: Simon Holtznagel
Obstetrician & Gynaecologist: Dr Bronywn Devine
Producers: Ksenija Lukich & Tina Matolov
Audio Producer: Leah Porges
Mamamia acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land we have recorded this podcast on, the Gadigal people of the Eora Nation. We pay our respects to their Elders past and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
You're listening to a Mother Mia podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters
that this podcast is recorded on. We pay our respects
to elders past, present and emerging, and feel privileged to
continue the sharing of birth stories and knowledge that has
been a fundamental part of Indigenous culture.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
Hi.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
I'm Cassania Lukic and this is diary of her birth.
We all know that having a support system is vital
in pregnancy in birth, but sometimes life gets in the
way and we're faced with more stressful scenarios than we
would like. So what do you do when you're thrilled
to be pregnant but your relationship is collapsing. Today's mum
(01:08):
had a fairly conventional labor, but within weeks of giving birth,
found herself in the midst of a breakup and thrust
into single motherhood. She first hit our screens It's a
teenager or Australia's Next time Model, and her career has
seen her model for the likes of Playboy and Guests
with a wicked sense of humor. This fireball has been
(01:29):
making me laugh for years. But today's story is about resilience.
So let's meet Today's mum.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Hi, I'm Simone Holtznegel and this is the diary of
my birth with baby Ga.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Simone, tell me about your life before you felt pregnant
with Gia.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
I had been modeling for fifteen years. I had lived overseas,
was modeling in la and all around Europe for quite
a while. I was on the cover of Playboy. I
word like eight guest campaigns, did lots of really cool things.
I've done a few TV spots here and there, and
(02:11):
then yeah, I came back to Sydney right before COVID happened,
and I just kind of stayed. I love being in Sydney.
Sydney is the best place in the world. And then
I was with my now ex partner at the end
of twenty twenty one, twenty twenty two, those years of COVID,
(02:34):
who knows the lost years, and then we fell pregnant
in twenty twenty three.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
And that wasn't necessarily planned.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
At the time, it wasn't not planned. We had spoken
about always wanting to have kids and start a family,
and we were like next year, twenty twenty three, and
then yeah, it happened. Like we were very lucky that
it just kind of happened very quick, so it wasn't
completely unplanned at least I didn't think. So.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Okay, so you have mentioned that ex partner, the relationship
was good, and then our relationship.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Was really good, and then when I got pregnant, I
think there was a lot of freaking out, as some
men tend to go through.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
So I'm told, so you were pregnant, excited, very excited.
Your sister has a bub your sister's got two kids.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Three So my older sister was pregnant the same time,
and I was. Our babies are seven weeks apart.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
That's amazing. Yeah, tell me about the pregnancy itself. How
did you feel?
Speaker 1 (03:43):
It was funny because I had been in the Maldives
for my thirtieth birthday and literally the day I can't
believe I did this. On our last night in the
mal Dives, I had this cocktail that was called a
cocoa melon. We all know what coco melon is, so
it's like coconut watermelon whatever, and I posted a photo
(04:04):
of it on my Instagram story and I was like,
this is the only coco melon I'm interested at the moment.
Next day found out I was pregnant.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
It's very fortuitous.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Yeah, psychic, but yeah. We got home from the airport
and I was like at baggage claim and I was like,
oh gosh, I feel very sick. And my ex partner
he was like, you always do this at this part
of the trip. You just don't want to get you
And I was like, no, I feel really sick. And
all day I was like, feel really sick. Yeah, I
just thought it was flying whatever. And then I did
(04:35):
a pregnancy test and I was like, oh my god,
really excited.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
Did you feel sick for your pregnancy.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
I was pretty lucky. I didn't really have any morning sickness,
but I was quite nauseous that first twelve weeks, and
just I'm already a tired person, so being pregnant, I
was just completely wiped out. And then I actually remember
I had really bad headaches for the first like two trimesters.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
I had that too.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
Yeah, And then everyone was like, oh, it's probably a
boy because it's like the testosterone hormones in your body
or some weird doesn't really make sense anyway, it was
a girl. Think, gosh, did you.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
Have any plans about how you wanted to give birth?
Speaker 1 (05:17):
I really wanted to be completely knocked out and then
just wake and the baby was there. But twenty twenty four,
you can't do that yet, which is insane to me.
I don't know why that's not an option. All I
knew was I'm such a baby. I don't even like
getting needles. But I just knew that I wanted to
(05:37):
be as pain free as possible. A really big caveat
to that is me saying I hate needles, terrified of needles.
And then the only way to get my pain free
birth is to have the biggest needle put into my spine,
which was the scariest. I think about it now, it
gives you the haby bbs, yeah, a shudder.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Okay, So tell me about the last few weeks before
you gave birth. You were doing March end of March,
GA is almost one.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
GA is almost one. Honestly, I've kind of blocked it
out because it wasn't the most stress free pregnancy. I
spent a lot of time by myself, which was nice,
you know, rather than dealing with other unexpected things, I
just rested. I just remember being so uncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Tell me about going into labor.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
The day that I actually went into labor, I'd had
a stretch and sweep the day before, and the day
that I actually went into labor, I was not at
my house because I did not want to be at
my house, so obviously very high emotions, and I was
(06:50):
with my mum and dad at my family friend's place,
which I am very, very very lucky that I have
somewhere to stay when I'm in Sydney. Anyway, we went
down to the Kuji Path and I ate the most
insane spicy pizza and I'm not like a spicy flavor person,
(07:12):
and I had an apparol spirit because I was like, well,
this baby's coming out within a day or so, so
this might move the process along. And I'd actually been
trying crazy old like wife's tales. I do remember that,
like curb walking and stuff, because I was like, get out.
And my sister, my older sister, has had two of
her three babies on her exact JEW date. I thought
(07:34):
that was normal. So when that didn't happen for me,
I was like, when that's the worst part that last week,
Like when you're approaching your JEW date because you just
you don't really want to do anything because you could
have a baby within hours. So yeah, I ate a
really spicy pizza, I had an aperol sprits, and went
(07:54):
for a very long walk on the beach with my mom.
And then I was sitting at home texting my sister,
my little sister Madeline, saying how funny would it be
if my water broke while I was sat here? And
then I stood up and then I was like, oh,
I think my water just broke, which was the plan,
because you know how they say when your water breaks,
(08:15):
you have to go straight to hospital for you know,
the infection risk. So I was really worried that I
was going to go into labor and just be having
contractions and my water wouldn't break by itself, because I
was like, if that happens to me and I call
the hospital and they say, I'll just stay at home,
absolutely not, because I again I was worried the longer
(08:35):
I'd stay at home that I'd missed that window of
getting an epidural that worked out. I got to hospital.
My mum drove me. She was driving really slow, too
slow in fact for my liking. Didn't have the baby
in the car though, but I had maybe two contractions
in the space of an hour. We got in the car,
(08:55):
and then it was on. I was still in the
triage rooms of the birthing unit, and I was the
person that you get warned about with your midwife when
they're like, oh, some people vomit.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
That was me, You were vomiting.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Yeah, I have the worst pain threshold. I could not
stop throwing up. I waited about an hour, got an epidural.
Scariest moment of my life. My partner was there, but
I told him to get out of the room. They said,
you can only have one person in the room while
you're getting an epidural. I think it's just like in
case people faint or something.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
So tell me about getting the epidural as someone who
is terrified of needles.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Oh my god. I asked him so many questions, and
I was like, okay, how long have you been doing this?
And I'd read heaps about it because obviously, as they say,
knowledge as power, so I read all about it beforehand.
And then at that point I was like timing my
contractions because I was like, you have about four minutes
(09:55):
or however long it was, and I was like, okay, go,
if I close my eyes, I can literally go back
to that moment, which makes me feel sick because I
hate needles, and I was so scared, but I was
just holding onto my mom. I'm not a religious person,
my mom is, and I knew she would be doing this,
so I was just I think I was saying, like,
hail Mary's. Yeah, I've never been more still in my
(10:20):
entire life. Is truly terrifying.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Because what they do is they set you up. They
set you up. You have to kind of bend over
and hug. You hug a pillow.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
I had my arms around my mum.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
And you hug someone and do you hear this sound
when they opened the packet?
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Is this take cace like I'm getting hot?
Speaker 2 (10:41):
And then they put that better Day and all over
your back.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
And then in that time as well, I was okay stop.
I was like, oh my god, because I started to
have a contraction. And then I'm like, okay, go go go,
go go coming up. She came and picked up the placenta,
it was on ice, took it, cleaned it, did whatever,
came back with a little protein shaker that had a
(11:05):
three centimeter piece of my placenta in it, with coconut water,
frozen banana, and frozen berries.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Okay, so you have your epidural rule.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
I have my EPI dury, my ex partner orders McDonald's,
and then my mum and John. I fell asleep on
the floor. I had a bit of a sleep, but
I was just so excited and so nervous that I'm like, okay, like,
let's get this show on the road. I think I
slept for a few hours, and then I touched up
my makeup and watched RuPaul's Drag Race, and then I
(11:42):
was like, let's go, everybody. I was almost fully dilated,
and then at seven or six thirty in the morning,
they came in. They're like, okay, you're fully dilated, but
almost ready to start pushing. And then they were like, oh,
we just have to wait because we're doing stuff. Changeover,
and then they came in. By the time we started pushing,
I think it was eight. Turns out it's not like
(12:06):
the movies, and pushing is a lot harder than what
you actually think it's going to be. Had I known
that something I would do differently, I would go to
a women's physio and learn how to push properly. Because
I had no idea and I couldn't do it, and
so I ended up pushing for about two hours, So yeah,
(12:26):
it started about eight. Gea was born at ten sixteen
on the thirty first. But yeah, I just couldn't do it,
and I had my legs and stirrups and did you
have an epigero I did you know when they're like
you won't feel pain, but you can feel the contractions coming.
I couldn't even really feel that.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
So did you not feel any pressure when she was
coming out?
Speaker 1 (12:47):
I don't remember, Like, I don't think I did. So
what happened was I just couldn't do that last part,
you know when it's like turn they say, or like
that last because obviously you're sitting down, legs up, stirrups.
That last little like dip sounds like a ride, but
it's not. I could not do that. And then they
(13:10):
called in a bunch of doctors. John I was eating
a croissant. It was Easter, and we had friends who
worked at the hospital, so they dropped off bake goods anyway,
so we kind of had a break and then a
bunch of doctors came in. We could see the monitors.
Ga was fine, her heart rate and everything was fine,
and they said they were like, she's right there, Like
we can see the top of her head. She's got
lots of hair. And the doctors came in and they
(13:32):
were like, okay, like we've got to decide what we're doing.
We can either do vacuum or fourceps or episiotomy or both.
And I was like, absolutely no episiotomy. Don't come near me,
nightmare fuel. So I was like, can we just try
and do fourceups? So they did, and the doctor who
(13:53):
did it, she was amazing and literally she just grabbed
onto a little noggin and gave her a little tug
and then she was right there. So I didn't have
any tearing, No apisiotom me, no nothing.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
She comes out does she goes straight onto your chest?
Speaker 1 (14:08):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (14:09):
What was that moment meeting her for the first time.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
I just remember I was just like so happy. I
just had like the biggest smile on my face, and
I like I cried a little bit, but I was
just more like, oh my God, like so excited. I
mean to think back on it, it's really such a blur. Yeah,
every photo I have my face Like, even thinking about
it now, my mouth hurts from smiling.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
What was your recovery from the birth, Like totally fine.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
I had one internal stitch. Actually that's a lie. I
mean I did have one internal stitch. I had a
spinal injury. Can't believe I forgot this. I had a
spinal injury from my epidural but it wasn't in my back,
it was in my leg. I walk in to be
able to have a baby come out and can't walk properly.
So basically because I was in stirrups for so long,
(14:59):
I had a neuropraxia of the femeral nerve, and that
essentially means that my nerve had been like crushed or something,
so I could not feel and I still kind of
can't feel it like a patch on my leg that
goes up around my knee. I'd have had injuries on
this leg, like disslcating my knee a few times. That
was the worst part for me recovery. I had obviously
(15:22):
appointments in the hospital like lactation consultants and stuff, and
I had GA in the basinette, and I was so
scared to walk and like getting in and out of
bed because I felt like I couldn't put my full
weight and I couldn't put my full weight on my leg.
So I saw everybody. I saw new people after I
(15:43):
had the baby. I saw physios, lots of different visitors
to my hospital room trying to figure out what was
wrong with my leg, and I ended up having to
go and do this is months I'm talking later, like
it did come back, and they were like, look, we
don't want to tell you it's going to be back
in two weeks, because it could be two months, it
(16:03):
could be six months, but it will eventually come back.
I had to do nerve testing with the neuro team.
They basically said that they were trading it as if
I'd had a stroke. It was like the connection between
this and this go on.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
You're pointing at your brain and your leg leg. I
can't believe you'd forgot to tell me that.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
It's funny because I guess when people talk about their
like birth recovery, they're talking about like their vagina and stuff.
I'm going about my knees.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
No, No, I mean I think there's there's so much
to it. There's you know, the first toileting.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Yeah, I don't remember, Like honestly, it was pretty stock standard.
It wasn't like, oh my god, I'm coming back next week.
Let's do it again. But I think I'd heard so
many horror stories or had such expectations of how bad
it could be, and then it wasn't that, and I
(17:02):
was like, this isn't so bad. But I know I'm
extremely lucky, and I know there's a lot of like
my mum talks about she had like a really bad
episiotomy with first baby, my older sister, and I guess
my recovery would have been different. But again, I drank
my placenta. Have I told you this?
Speaker 2 (17:23):
You haven't told me that you drank your placenta. So
did you put it into capsules or.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
Did you Yeah, so put it into capsules. Then the
lady who does said encapsulation, she came and picked up
the placenta, was on ice, took it, cleaned it, did whatever,
came back with a little protein shaker that had a
three centimeter piece of my placenta in it, with coconut water,
(17:51):
a frozen banana, and frozen berries. You have to sign
a thing saying that no one else is allowed to
have a sip because technically you're eating like an organ,
like a human organ. It's just like the legal form
of cannibalism. It's true, I did that because I was
really concerned, and I know we've talked about this before.
(18:13):
I was really concerned about postnatal depression because I dealt
with like anxiety and depression stuff years ago. So I
was really worried about that. And because my at home
life relationship wise, this was obviously very new for both
(18:34):
of us, and I was concerned about that level of
support from my partner. So yeah, I was really worried
about all of that stuff. So I did a lot
of research. I knew I was going to do the capsules,
and then I saw she offered the lady whose service
I used offered this smoothie thing. So I did that
and I feel like it worked amazing. Also, like you know,
(18:58):
could it just be a place ebo effect. I don't know,
but ten out of ten would recommend I stopped bleeding
after three days, three or four days, which apparently that's
unheard of. That is unheard of.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Yeah, okay, So I mean, look, you had a physically
really great Yes, Physically it was kind of textbook. It
came out perfectly healthy. You didn't really struggle with breastfeeding much.
That all came really naturally, But you'd were left kind
of as a single mom relatively quickly after she was born.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
Left as a single mom when she was three weeks
old when my partner when I were on a boys trip,
and then I was left as a single mom when
my partner went to Thailand because he was tired when
she was seven weeks old. So it was an easy
decision at that point because I'd already been doing everything
by myself anyway. So what was the difference. Yeah, if
I just made that decision.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
Yeah, I mean we talk a lot about the fourth
trimester on here, and I think that that's like something
that's really interesting is you know that part of a
newborn is really challenging. It's such a shift in how
you go about life, like being a new mom and
then also emotionally for you, you know, the end of
a relationship and being a new mum. It's a lot.
(20:19):
But you always has such a great positive outlook and
I love how you're like I can just I've got this. Well.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
It's one of those things where it's like if you
don't laugh, you'll cry. So the whole looking after babies
been newborn just kind of comes very naturally to me.
I had a lot of experience my older sister's first baby, Miller.
I spent a lot of time with her. I mean
I still do, but particularly in the first like two
(20:48):
years of her life. I looked after her a few
times a week and I've just always I mean, who
doesn't love babies. Honestly, it didn't feel completely scary. Of course,
there's the moments when you first get home and you're like,
oh my god, I'm a mom. That's scary, but I
wasn't completely going and blind, Like I knew how to
(21:11):
burn a baby and you how to rock a baby.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
You know.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
I knew how to get a baby settled, give a
baby a bar, yea, all that kind of stuff. So, yeah,
I guess that's the lucky thing of having siblings have children.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
I think there is a lot, yeah, unsaid, but I
think the core of it is you went through a
birth and a labor during a very emotional time, but
you are thriving.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
Yeah. I know. It sounds really like, obviously this is
not how I planned for it to be. And you know,
young me, when I would think about my life when
you're older, you're like, oh my god, I'm going to
be married by the time I'm twenty and I'm gonna
have seven babies and like a house and you know
what I mean, Like when you're a little girl and
you think about that and you think about your wedding
(22:02):
and stuff. I never thought that i'd be firstly having
a baby before I was married. Like I wouldn't say
that I'm like a super traditional person, but I just
that's how you're supposed to do it. I didn't plan
for it to be like this, but turns out it is.
At They're probably the best outcome for me.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
I love it. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
Thanks for having me.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
Here at Diary of a Birth. We want you to
be armed with all the information and today we have
obstrution and gynecologist Dr Bronwin Devine here to answer all
of our burning medical questions. So what is the science
behind encapsulating a placenta?
Speaker 3 (22:49):
So look, there are a number of people who will
either organized for someone to take their placenta and encapsulate it,
and then they'll take it as a tablet, which is
sometimes for some people, a more palatable way of consuming
your placenta post birth. Other people will be very brave
and cookt or incorporated in some other sort of food,
which it sounds like Simone's done with the smoothie. The
(23:12):
science and the understanding of why this is done is
still there's a lot of mysticism around it, and there's
not a lot of really clear, high quality scientific data
that says it's definitely the right thing to do, But
there's more and more people who believe that it is
a good approach to take. I think the sort of
(23:32):
understanding is that all the you know, so the rationale
is that post birth people do go through a huge
flux in their hormones and that can be associated with
significant mood change. And so the belief is that if
you don't just take your placenter or have your placenter
of birthed and then thrown in the bin, then at
least you can, you know, in some way recuperate some
(23:55):
of those very potent hormones that the placenta makes, because
the placenta is an amazing hormone factory and it makes
so many incredible mediators and hormones and proteins and things
like that. So the rationale behind consuming your placenta in
some form post birth is to really sort of ease
(24:15):
yourself into a more gentle transition to the post birth state.
As I say, not a huge amount of really high
quality scientific evidence to support that, but there certainly is
more and more people who are electing to either have
their PERCENTA turned into tablets or to consume it some
other way.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
And how common is the injury that's some mind sustained.
Speaker 3 (24:39):
Bearing in mind I'm not in anithetis, so this will
be a fairly simple explanation. But neuropraxia is just usually
some temporary trauma to a nerve, often pressing on a
nerve for a prolonged period of time that can cause
the nerve to get a little bit damaged, but it
usually recovers fully, but it then can have effects like
numbness and tingling, or sometimes weakness of the muscle supplied
(25:02):
by that nerve, and often femeral nerve. Neuropraxia is not
so much due to the epidural but things like the
position that people might be in when they're pushing, or
the position that people might be in when they're lying
in a particular position for a long time as a
result of having a regional block like an epidural federal nerve.
Neuropraxia is not uncommon with childbirth, but it's often more
(25:26):
associated with being up in stirrups, not so commonly associated
with epidural anesthesias. Happen you've got pressure on a nerve
after being in a position for a fairly extended period
of time. Usually with the neuropraxya of the nerve recovers
completely and the muscle weakness resolves, or the numbers and
tingling resolves. So it's not something that requires anything further
(25:48):
than just a bit of rehability of stuff, maybe some
physio things like that.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
Dary over Birth was hosted by me Casanulukitch with expert
input from doctor Bronwin Devine. If you have a birth story,
we'd love to hear from you. Details are in the
show notes. This episode was produced by Tina Mattalov and
myself Casanu Lukitch, with audio production by Leopordiz
You're listening to a Mother Mia podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters
that this podcast is recorded on. We pay our respects
to elders past, present and emerging, and feel privileged to
continue the sharing of birth stories and knowledge that has
been a fundamental part of Indigenous culture.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
Hi.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
I'm Cassania Lukic and this is diary of her birth.
We all know that having a support system is vital
in pregnancy in birth, but sometimes life gets in the
way and we're faced with more stressful scenarios than we
would like. So what do you do when you're thrilled
to be pregnant but your relationship is collapsing. Today's mum
(01:08):
had a fairly conventional labor, but within weeks of giving birth,
found herself in the midst of a breakup and thrust
into single motherhood. She first hit our screens It's a
teenager or Australia's Next time Model, and her career has
seen her model for the likes of Playboy and Guests
with a wicked sense of humor. This fireball has been
(01:29):
making me laugh for years. But today's story is about resilience.
So let's meet Today's mum.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Hi, I'm Simone Holtznegel and this is the diary of
my birth with baby Ga.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Simone, tell me about your life before you felt pregnant
with Gia.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
I had been modeling for fifteen years. I had lived overseas,
was modeling in la and all around Europe for quite
a while. I was on the cover of Playboy. I
word like eight guest campaigns, did lots of really cool things.
I've done a few TV spots here and there, and
(02:11):
then yeah, I came back to Sydney right before COVID happened,
and I just kind of stayed. I love being in Sydney.
Sydney is the best place in the world. And then
I was with my now ex partner at the end
of twenty twenty one, twenty twenty two, those years of COVID,
(02:34):
who knows the lost years, and then we fell pregnant
in twenty twenty three.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
And that wasn't necessarily planned.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
At the time, it wasn't not planned. We had spoken
about always wanting to have kids and start a family,
and we were like next year, twenty twenty three, and
then yeah, it happened. Like we were very lucky that
it just kind of happened very quick, so it wasn't
completely unplanned at least I didn't think. So.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Okay, so you have mentioned that ex partner, the relationship
was good, and then our relationship.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Was really good, and then when I got pregnant, I
think there was a lot of freaking out, as some
men tend to go through.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
So I'm told, so you were pregnant, excited, very excited.
Your sister has a bub your sister's got two kids.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Three So my older sister was pregnant the same time,
and I was. Our babies are seven weeks apart.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
That's amazing. Yeah, tell me about the pregnancy itself. How
did you feel?
Speaker 1 (03:43):
It was funny because I had been in the Maldives
for my thirtieth birthday and literally the day I can't
believe I did this. On our last night in the
mal Dives, I had this cocktail that was called a
cocoa melon. We all know what coco melon is, so
it's like coconut watermelon whatever, and I posted a photo
(04:04):
of it on my Instagram story and I was like,
this is the only coco melon I'm interested at the moment.
Next day found out I was pregnant.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
It's very fortuitous.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Yeah, psychic, but yeah. We got home from the airport
and I was like at baggage claim and I was like,
oh gosh, I feel very sick. And my ex partner
he was like, you always do this at this part
of the trip. You just don't want to get you
And I was like, no, I feel really sick. And
all day I was like, feel really sick. Yeah, I
just thought it was flying whatever. And then I did
(04:35):
a pregnancy test and I was like, oh my god,
really excited.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
Did you feel sick for your pregnancy.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
I was pretty lucky. I didn't really have any morning sickness,
but I was quite nauseous that first twelve weeks, and
just I'm already a tired person, so being pregnant, I
was just completely wiped out. And then I actually remember
I had really bad headaches for the first like two trimesters.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
I had that too.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
Yeah, And then everyone was like, oh, it's probably a
boy because it's like the testosterone hormones in your body
or some weird doesn't really make sense anyway, it was
a girl. Think, gosh, did you.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
Have any plans about how you wanted to give birth?
Speaker 1 (05:17):
I really wanted to be completely knocked out and then
just wake and the baby was there. But twenty twenty four,
you can't do that yet, which is insane to me.
I don't know why that's not an option. All I
knew was I'm such a baby. I don't even like
getting needles. But I just knew that I wanted to
(05:37):
be as pain free as possible. A really big caveat
to that is me saying I hate needles, terrified of needles.
And then the only way to get my pain free
birth is to have the biggest needle put into my spine,
which was the scariest. I think about it now, it
gives you the haby bbs, yeah, a shudder.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Okay, So tell me about the last few weeks before
you gave birth. You were doing March end of March,
GA is almost one.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
GA is almost one. Honestly, I've kind of blocked it
out because it wasn't the most stress free pregnancy. I
spent a lot of time by myself, which was nice,
you know, rather than dealing with other unexpected things, I
just rested. I just remember being so uncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Tell me about going into labor.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
The day that I actually went into labor, I'd had
a stretch and sweep the day before, and the day
that I actually went into labor, I was not at
my house because I did not want to be at
my house, so obviously very high emotions, and I was
(06:50):
with my mum and dad at my family friend's place,
which I am very, very very lucky that I have
somewhere to stay when I'm in Sydney. Anyway, we went
down to the Kuji Path and I ate the most
insane spicy pizza and I'm not like a spicy flavor person,
(07:12):
and I had an apparol spirit because I was like, well,
this baby's coming out within a day or so, so
this might move the process along. And I'd actually been
trying crazy old like wife's tales. I do remember that,
like curb walking and stuff, because I was like, get out.
And my sister, my older sister, has had two of
her three babies on her exact JEW date. I thought
(07:34):
that was normal. So when that didn't happen for me,
I was like, when that's the worst part that last week,
Like when you're approaching your JEW date because you just
you don't really want to do anything because you could
have a baby within hours. So yeah, I ate a
really spicy pizza, I had an aperol sprits, and went
(07:54):
for a very long walk on the beach with my mom.
And then I was sitting at home texting my sister,
my little sister Madeline, saying how funny would it be
if my water broke while I was sat here? And
then I stood up and then I was like, oh,
I think my water just broke, which was the plan,
because you know how they say when your water breaks,
(08:15):
you have to go straight to hospital for you know,
the infection risk. So I was really worried that I
was going to go into labor and just be having
contractions and my water wouldn't break by itself, because I
was like, if that happens to me and I call
the hospital and they say, I'll just stay at home,
absolutely not, because I again I was worried the longer
(08:35):
I'd stay at home that I'd missed that window of
getting an epidural that worked out. I got to hospital.
My mum drove me. She was driving really slow, too
slow in fact for my liking. Didn't have the baby
in the car though, but I had maybe two contractions
in the space of an hour. We got in the car,
(08:55):
and then it was on. I was still in the
triage rooms of the birthing unit, and I was the
person that you get warned about with your midwife when
they're like, oh, some people vomit.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
That was me, You were vomiting.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Yeah, I have the worst pain threshold. I could not
stop throwing up. I waited about an hour, got an epidural.
Scariest moment of my life. My partner was there, but
I told him to get out of the room. They said,
you can only have one person in the room while
you're getting an epidural. I think it's just like in
case people faint or something.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
So tell me about getting the epidural as someone who
is terrified of needles.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Oh my god. I asked him so many questions, and
I was like, okay, how long have you been doing this?
And I'd read heaps about it because obviously, as they say,
knowledge as power, so I read all about it beforehand.
And then at that point I was like timing my
contractions because I was like, you have about four minutes
(09:55):
or however long it was, and I was like, okay, go,
if I close my eyes, I can literally go back
to that moment, which makes me feel sick because I
hate needles, and I was so scared, but I was
just holding onto my mom. I'm not a religious person,
my mom is, and I knew she would be doing this,
so I was just I think I was saying, like,
hail Mary's. Yeah, I've never been more still in my
(10:20):
entire life. Is truly terrifying.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Because what they do is they set you up. They
set you up. You have to kind of bend over
and hug. You hug a pillow.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
I had my arms around my mum.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
And you hug someone and do you hear this sound
when they opened the packet?
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Is this take cace like I'm getting hot?
Speaker 2 (10:41):
And then they put that better Day and all over
your back.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
And then in that time as well, I was okay stop.
I was like, oh my god, because I started to
have a contraction. And then I'm like, okay, go go go,
go go coming up. She came and picked up the placenta,
it was on ice, took it, cleaned it, did whatever,
came back with a little protein shaker that had a
(11:05):
three centimeter piece of my placenta in it, with coconut water,
frozen banana, and frozen berries.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Okay, so you have your epidural rule.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
I have my EPI dury, my ex partner orders McDonald's,
and then my mum and John. I fell asleep on
the floor. I had a bit of a sleep, but
I was just so excited and so nervous that I'm like, okay, like,
let's get this show on the road. I think I
slept for a few hours, and then I touched up
my makeup and watched RuPaul's Drag Race, and then I
(11:42):
was like, let's go, everybody. I was almost fully dilated,
and then at seven or six thirty in the morning,
they came in. They're like, okay, you're fully dilated, but
almost ready to start pushing. And then they were like, oh,
we just have to wait because we're doing stuff. Changeover,
and then they came in. By the time we started pushing,
I think it was eight. Turns out it's not like
(12:06):
the movies, and pushing is a lot harder than what
you actually think it's going to be. Had I known
that something I would do differently, I would go to
a women's physio and learn how to push properly. Because
I had no idea and I couldn't do it, and
so I ended up pushing for about two hours, So yeah,
(12:26):
it started about eight. Gea was born at ten sixteen
on the thirty first. But yeah, I just couldn't do it,
and I had my legs and stirrups and did you
have an epigero I did you know when they're like
you won't feel pain, but you can feel the contractions coming.
I couldn't even really feel that.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
So did you not feel any pressure when she was
coming out?
Speaker 1 (12:47):
I don't remember, Like, I don't think I did. So
what happened was I just couldn't do that last part,
you know when it's like turn they say, or like
that last because obviously you're sitting down, legs up, stirrups.
That last little like dip sounds like a ride, but
it's not. I could not do that. And then they
(13:10):
called in a bunch of doctors. John I was eating
a croissant. It was Easter, and we had friends who
worked at the hospital, so they dropped off bake goods anyway,
so we kind of had a break and then a
bunch of doctors came in. We could see the monitors.
Ga was fine, her heart rate and everything was fine,
and they said they were like, she's right there, Like
we can see the top of her head. She's got
lots of hair. And the doctors came in and they
(13:32):
were like, okay, like we've got to decide what we're doing.
We can either do vacuum or fourceps or episiotomy or both.
And I was like, absolutely no episiotomy. Don't come near me,
nightmare fuel. So I was like, can we just try
and do fourceups? So they did, and the doctor who
(13:53):
did it, she was amazing and literally she just grabbed
onto a little noggin and gave her a little tug
and then she was right there. So I didn't have
any tearing, No apisiotom me, no nothing.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
She comes out does she goes straight onto your chest?
Speaker 1 (14:08):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (14:09):
What was that moment meeting her for the first time.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
I just remember I was just like so happy. I
just had like the biggest smile on my face, and
I like I cried a little bit, but I was
just more like, oh my God, like so excited. I
mean to think back on it, it's really such a blur. Yeah,
every photo I have my face Like, even thinking about
it now, my mouth hurts from smiling.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
What was your recovery from the birth, Like totally fine.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
I had one internal stitch. Actually that's a lie. I
mean I did have one internal stitch. I had a
spinal injury. Can't believe I forgot this. I had a
spinal injury from my epidural but it wasn't in my back,
it was in my leg. I walk in to be
able to have a baby come out and can't walk properly.
So basically because I was in stirrups for so long,
(14:59):
I had a neuropraxia of the femeral nerve, and that
essentially means that my nerve had been like crushed or something,
so I could not feel and I still kind of
can't feel it like a patch on my leg that
goes up around my knee. I'd have had injuries on
this leg, like disslcating my knee a few times. That
was the worst part for me recovery. I had obviously
(15:22):
appointments in the hospital like lactation consultants and stuff, and
I had GA in the basinette, and I was so
scared to walk and like getting in and out of
bed because I felt like I couldn't put my full
weight and I couldn't put my full weight on my leg.
So I saw everybody. I saw new people after I
(15:43):
had the baby. I saw physios, lots of different visitors
to my hospital room trying to figure out what was
wrong with my leg, and I ended up having to
go and do this is months I'm talking later, like
it did come back, and they were like, look, we
don't want to tell you it's going to be back
in two weeks, because it could be two months, it
(16:03):
could be six months, but it will eventually come back.
I had to do nerve testing with the neuro team.
They basically said that they were trading it as if
I'd had a stroke. It was like the connection between
this and this go on.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
You're pointing at your brain and your leg leg. I
can't believe you'd forgot to tell me that.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
It's funny because I guess when people talk about their
like birth recovery, they're talking about like their vagina and stuff.
I'm going about my knees.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
No, No, I mean I think there's there's so much
to it. There's you know, the first toileting.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Yeah, I don't remember, Like honestly, it was pretty stock standard.
It wasn't like, oh my god, I'm coming back next week.
Let's do it again. But I think I'd heard so
many horror stories or had such expectations of how bad
it could be, and then it wasn't that, and I
(17:02):
was like, this isn't so bad. But I know I'm
extremely lucky, and I know there's a lot of like
my mum talks about she had like a really bad
episiotomy with first baby, my older sister, and I guess
my recovery would have been different. But again, I drank
my placenta. Have I told you this?
Speaker 2 (17:23):
You haven't told me that you drank your placenta. So
did you put it into capsules or.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
Did you Yeah, so put it into capsules. Then the
lady who does said encapsulation, she came and picked up
the placenta, was on ice, took it, cleaned it, did whatever,
came back with a little protein shaker that had a
three centimeter piece of my placenta in it, with coconut water,
(17:51):
a frozen banana, and frozen berries. You have to sign
a thing saying that no one else is allowed to
have a sip because technically you're eating like an organ,
like a human organ. It's just like the legal form
of cannibalism. It's true, I did that because I was
really concerned, and I know we've talked about this before.
(18:13):
I was really concerned about postnatal depression because I dealt
with like anxiety and depression stuff years ago. So I
was really worried about that. And because my at home
life relationship wise, this was obviously very new for both
(18:34):
of us, and I was concerned about that level of
support from my partner. So yeah, I was really worried
about all of that stuff. So I did a lot
of research. I knew I was going to do the capsules,
and then I saw she offered the lady whose service
I used offered this smoothie thing. So I did that
and I feel like it worked amazing. Also, like you know,
(18:58):
could it just be a place ebo effect. I don't know,
but ten out of ten would recommend I stopped bleeding
after three days, three or four days, which apparently that's
unheard of. That is unheard of.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Yeah, okay, So I mean, look, you had a physically
really great Yes, Physically it was kind of textbook. It
came out perfectly healthy. You didn't really struggle with breastfeeding much.
That all came really naturally, But you'd were left kind
of as a single mom relatively quickly after she was born.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
Left as a single mom when she was three weeks
old when my partner when I were on a boys trip,
and then I was left as a single mom when
my partner went to Thailand because he was tired when
she was seven weeks old. So it was an easy
decision at that point because I'd already been doing everything
by myself anyway. So what was the difference. Yeah, if
I just made that decision.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
Yeah, I mean we talk a lot about the fourth
trimester on here, and I think that that's like something
that's really interesting is you know that part of a
newborn is really challenging. It's such a shift in how
you go about life, like being a new mom and
then also emotionally for you, you know, the end of
a relationship and being a new mum. It's a lot.
(20:19):
But you always has such a great positive outlook and
I love how you're like I can just I've got this. Well.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
It's one of those things where it's like if you
don't laugh, you'll cry. So the whole looking after babies
been newborn just kind of comes very naturally to me.
I had a lot of experience my older sister's first baby, Miller.
I spent a lot of time with her. I mean
I still do, but particularly in the first like two
(20:48):
years of her life. I looked after her a few
times a week and I've just always I mean, who
doesn't love babies. Honestly, it didn't feel completely scary. Of course,
there's the moments when you first get home and you're like,
oh my god, I'm a mom. That's scary, but I
wasn't completely going and blind, Like I knew how to
(21:11):
burn a baby and you how to rock a baby.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
You know.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
I knew how to get a baby settled, give a
baby a bar, yea, all that kind of stuff. So, yeah,
I guess that's the lucky thing of having siblings have children.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
I think there is a lot, yeah, unsaid, but I
think the core of it is you went through a
birth and a labor during a very emotional time, but
you are thriving.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
Yeah. I know. It sounds really like, obviously this is
not how I planned for it to be. And you know,
young me, when I would think about my life when
you're older, you're like, oh my god, I'm going to
be married by the time I'm twenty and I'm gonna
have seven babies and like a house and you know
what I mean, Like when you're a little girl and
you think about that and you think about your wedding
(22:02):
and stuff. I never thought that i'd be firstly having
a baby before I was married. Like I wouldn't say
that I'm like a super traditional person, but I just
that's how you're supposed to do it. I didn't plan
for it to be like this, but turns out it is.
At They're probably the best outcome for me.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
I love it. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
Thanks for having me.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
Here at Diary of a Birth. We want you to
be armed with all the information and today we have
obstrution and gynecologist Dr Bronwin Devine here to answer all
of our burning medical questions. So what is the science
behind encapsulating a placenta?
Speaker 3 (22:49):
So look, there are a number of people who will
either organized for someone to take their placenta and encapsulate it,
and then they'll take it as a tablet, which is
sometimes for some people, a more palatable way of consuming
your placenta post birth. Other people will be very brave
and cookt or incorporated in some other sort of food,
which it sounds like Simone's done with the smoothie. The
(23:12):
science and the understanding of why this is done is
still there's a lot of mysticism around it, and there's
not a lot of really clear, high quality scientific data
that says it's definitely the right thing to do, But
there's more and more people who believe that it is
a good approach to take. I think the sort of
(23:32):
understanding is that all the you know, so the rationale
is that post birth people do go through a huge
flux in their hormones and that can be associated with
significant mood change. And so the belief is that if
you don't just take your placenter or have your placenter
of birthed and then thrown in the bin, then at
least you can, you know, in some way recuperate some
(23:55):
of those very potent hormones that the placenta makes, because
the placenta is an amazing hormone factory and it makes
so many incredible mediators and hormones and proteins and things
like that. So the rationale behind consuming your placenta in
some form post birth is to really sort of ease
(24:15):
yourself into a more gentle transition to the post birth state.
As I say, not a huge amount of really high
quality scientific evidence to support that, but there certainly is
more and more people who are electing to either have
their PERCENTA turned into tablets or to consume it some
other way.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
And how common is the injury that's some mind sustained.
Speaker 3 (24:39):
Bearing in mind I'm not in anithetis, so this will
be a fairly simple explanation. But neuropraxia is just usually
some temporary trauma to a nerve, often pressing on a
nerve for a prolonged period of time that can cause
the nerve to get a little bit damaged, but it
usually recovers fully, but it then can have effects like
numbness and tingling, or sometimes weakness of the muscle supplied
(25:02):
by that nerve, and often femeral nerve. Neuropraxia is not
so much due to the epidural but things like the
position that people might be in when they're pushing, or
the position that people might be in when they're lying
in a particular position for a long time as a
result of having a regional block like an epidural federal nerve.
Neuropraxia is not uncommon with childbirth, but it's often more
(25:26):
associated with being up in stirrups, not so commonly associated
with epidural anesthesias. Happen you've got pressure on a nerve
after being in a position for a fairly extended period
of time. Usually with the neuropraxya of the nerve recovers
completely and the muscle weakness resolves, or the numbers and
tingling resolves. So it's not something that requires anything further
(25:48):
than just a bit of rehability of stuff, maybe some
physio things like that.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
Dary over Birth was hosted by me Casanulukitch with expert
input from doctor Bronwin Devine. If you have a birth story,
we'd love to hear from you. Details are in the
show notes. This episode was produced by Tina Mattalov and
myself Casanu Lukitch, with audio production by Leopordiz
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