Ep. 61 Kids & Separation: What Happens to Our Children During Divorce? w/ Nadine Pittam
In this episode, Ang welcomes back Nadine Pittam, a BACP-accredited psychotherapist and host of the podcast "This Won’t Fix You." Nadine returns to the podcast once more to discuss the emotional and psychological impact of divorce on children, drawing from her professional experience and her own childhood. The conversation explores the importance of boundaries, emotional validation, and understanding behavioral changes in children during family separation. Nadine offers practical advice for parents navigating this challenging transition, emphasizing honest communication, maintaining routines, and allowing children to express their feelings without burdening them with adult responsibilities.
(00:00) Introduction and Welcome
(00:26) Introducing the Guest: Nadine
(02:17) Discussing Children's Well-being During Divorce
(03:25) Boundaries and Containment
(03:52) Emotional Validation
(03:54) Behavior as Communication
(18:01) Parental Responsibility and Modeling Resilience
(24:08) Embracing Imperfection in Parenting
(24:28) The Power of Apology and Repair
(24:58) Never Too Late to Make Amends
(25:39) The Importance of Accountability
(27:38) Navigating Divorce and Separation
(30:20) Respectful Co-Parenting
(31:39) Challenges of Co-Parenting
(39:10) Emotional Resilience in Children
(39:53) Final Thoughts and Advice
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Children are highly perceptive and sense emotional changes in the home, even if they cannot fully articulate their feelings.
Parents should model emotional honesty by acknowledging their own feelings, but must avoid placing emotional responsibility on their children.
Validating a child's emotions and allowing them to express concerns—no matter how small—helps maintain their emotional well-being.
Maintaining routines and familiar rituals provides children with stability and comfort during the upheaval of divorce.
Parents should gently invite children to share their worries, responding to their questions at the child’s pace rather than overwhelming them with adult concerns
BEST MOMENTS
"What you've just done is shown the vulnerability without showing neediness. And so you've essentially created a model for the child."
"Minimizing something somebody feels or indeed to eradicate it completely... it's just not a helpful thing to do at all."
"We're certainly not asking the children, 'Should mommy and daddy divorce?' The responsibility is not the child's."
"Although their problems to us might seem insignificant in a way, actually they're massive things to them."
GUEST LINKS
www.nadinepittam.com
www.thiswontfixyou.com
https://www.linkedin.com/in/nadine-pittam-8ba4ba196/
https://www.instagram.com/nadinepittamtherapy/
EPISODE LINKS
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ABOUT THE PODCAST
Do I Really Hate Men?
Interesting question and one I have asked myself many times. This is not an ‘I hate men’ podcast neither is it just an account of my divorce and the many awful events leading up to and during it. This podcast is a safe space to delve into what happens when relationships end, it provides guidance on how to carry on being a functioning adult and/or Single Mum when you feel broken inside.
This podcast provides hope sprinkled with humour, at times its emotional at times inspiring and at times sad. I have a message to share with women around the world, come join me and your global sisters for a weekly dose
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