I Break Down the First Lines of My Own Fantasy Story (Here’s What Worked and What Didn’t)

Today on Fantasy Writing for Barbarians, we’re doing something different: I'm breaking down the opening lines of my own fantasy short story, “Songs for the Dead and Drowning”, to show exactly what goes into crafting voice, world, and mood from line one. From interiority to pacing to metaphor as worldbuilding, this is a deep dive into how fantasy prose can do the heavy lifting without getting heavy-handed.

We unpack why opening lines don’t need to scream for attention, how subtle choices build tension and character, and what it means to balance clarity with intrigue. I walk through the themes, structure, and sentence-level decisions that shape the story’s hook, and yes, I also critique my own writing with full transparency (and occasional self-roasting).

Have a question or topic you want me to get into for the show? Email us at [e-mail] or join our Discord and let us know what's on your mind.

Fantasy Writing for Barbarians‘ host is Jon Negroni, author of The Pixar Theory, Killerjoy, and more. Our producers are Natalia Emmons and Bridget Serdock. You can find all our episodes and various podcast app options here.

Intro music: "Adventures in Adventureland" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

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