September 3, 2025 • 42 mins
Welcome back to Hear Me Out queens! This ep is a red hot one and we wouldn't have it any other way - we're opening up with a bit of a BTS update, unpacking the latest on The Summer I Turned Pretty and then welcoming a new sporadic episode, Help Me Out. This is where I'll be helping you with your dilemmas and problems and hopefully saving the day!
Today producer Blakey and I are talking about finding friendships in your twenties, dealing with friends who cross boundaries with your boyfriend, work crushes and what to do when you can't get a past flame out of your head.
Thank you for all the love and I can't wait for you to join me in part 2 next week - ily xxx
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
We're not trumpies.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Oh my god, no, no, no, no Trump. I'll throw
Trump over a fucking wall. Hello, welcome back to hear
me out. I'm your host, Easy Armatage, and I am
in a not so good food. Last time we recorded Blake,
it was here with me. Hello. Hello. The whole first
(00:25):
half of the episode, sadly we didn't get Blake's mike,
and like it was actually probably one of my favorite
intros we've done in a while.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
I felt really comfortable, like almost too comfortable.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
It was we were angry, I had some stuff, but
you know what, I'm actually having a bit of a
shitty day. So the first half of this app is
going to be me unfiltered, quite honest, quite upset. But
we're going to try and redo some of the things
that we spoke.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
About, recreate the magic.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Recreate the magic, which isn't always easy. But I just
want you to know of it does sound ever so
slightly disconjoined? Was that the right word.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
I think today?
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Yeah, I'm not. I'm not in the mood, so it's
not the right word. Keep it to yourself. But if
it does sound slightly disconnected between the first half and
the second, that's.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
Why so, and I'm going to try my very fucking
best to make it so.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Be patient, maybe to get the vibes going. We get
straight into a little update on the summer. I ten,
and because I'm in a bad mood, I'm really gonna
just take all my anger out on Belly this week.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Yeah, and I feel like we're kind of nice to it.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Yeah, we're nice to it yesterday and today we're not
going to be so nice. Basically, this is spoilers for
anyone who hasn't seen it, So if you have not,
if you're not up to date, episode eight is what
we'll be talking about when this comes out. Episode nine
will be coming out. I want to change the date
my podcast releases so I can give you weekly the summer.
I turn pretty updates that aren't like a week behind.
(01:51):
But basically, Belly is getting on a plane to Paris.
She sees Conrad and I know that fucking bitch is
not going to give me what I want and turn
around and look at him. She is going to turn
away and with that plane, and I hate her for it.
All my angers going towards Bellie.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
I think she'll entertain it for a little moment, but
we know she likes a danglar carrot, make us think
she's finally going to do it.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
She's finally gonna come to her senses and walk towards
the guy and go, hey, Conrad, I didn't get married,
letting you know I'm not married, and I'm going to Paris.
I'm like, see, oh, but I know that woman is
going to gough. Let me just go find myself in Paris,
and she's going to turn away. And all I can
hope and pray for is that Conrad sees her before
(02:34):
she gets on the plane.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
It's going to be like this little monologue in her
head and she's like, it's time to choose me, like.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
I'm choosing Summer. We were saying last week that we
will allow Jenny Hahn, the writer and who she's directing it,
to give us a twenty minute Max Paris montage No more,
no more. If I wanted to see someone in Paris,
I would watch Emily in Paris. I need it to
be quick, quick, little bits and pieces, and then I
(03:03):
want to see Conrad's letter.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Coming because we saw Paris coming. We've known about this.
Why Paris, Like.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
I know she's on Paris. I don't need to see it.
Emily has Emily's got Paris covered, So I just want
it to be a montage. I'm concerned it's going to
be a whole episode on Paris. No, Like, okay, I'm
really worried that the letter from Conrad comes to at
the end of next episode, and then it's like a
whole episode of Paris, like Meeting finding Herself, a whole
(03:32):
episode of Bellie finding herself in Paris. Like, I actually
don't care for that.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
No, and then they're going to introduce new characters, new friends.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
I love interest. I don't give a fuck.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
We have committed three years to this and.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
Were only I need at least I need that. Yeah,
I need more than just two episodes. A little French
painter that like gives her meets her at a cafe
and sits down. I can't, I don't care. I don't.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
I'm not even going to get into like how she
meets this new guy, but she's still gonna like walk
past him on the street. He'll like accidentally bump into her.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Yeah, well she's I reckon. She's going to be sitting
staring off into the fucking distance at some Parisian cafe,
drinking a fucking latte, and this guy is gonna go hello,
like ella, f Karen, how do you say milady or something?
And sit down? And then she's anyway, and she's going
(04:33):
to entertain it for far too long for my liking,
and that's gonna ruin the whole episode. So basically, we're
going into episode nine with a bad vibe, and.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
The vibes are always bad because that that girl.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
That girl pushes my buttons in every way, shape or form,
like the summer that belly finds no one and ends
up alone, Like that's what I want, give me, Conrad,
But that's all I feel like we need to touch on.
I'm just infuriated by her. And oh my god, I
get to watch your time.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
I know we're.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Recording this on the night is it? Does it come
out on Wednesday?
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Eight pm? Wednesdays? Oh? Eight PM's crazy? Why eight pm?
I was actually watching nine pm.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
So annoying, Like I'm lucky, I've got a bed late.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Literally, Nine Perfect Strangers was on Prime as well, and
they released eight pm every Thursday. Sounds weird. Give me midnight.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Midnights like Wednesday night midnight, Like yeah, give me drop
it in the morning. So I can watch it whenever
I have fucking time droughout the day. No.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
No.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
Finding out that it's coming out tonight has changed my
dinner plans because initially I was going to make a
MALEI spoon Swedish meeple some shit that was good for
my body, not good for my soul. And now I
am going to make home made pizza so I can
really enjoy the episode while eating something.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
I like, I feel like you did this last episode
as well. Yes, it's like, no, it's a week you're allowed.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
To stay the summer. I done pretty night is enjoy
yourself night.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
Yeah, but bearing in mind you can eat pizza any
day of the week.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
I can, and I do once. I accidentally I ate
it two days ago. I'm not like it's like a
weekly treat for me. This is a regular.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
When I moved to Melbourne, it was like a week
where I had to live it to of friends in
Sydney as I was finishing off my time in Sydney
and I ordered a pizza one and I was like, Oh,
you're not doing bad. This is a third pizza three
nights in a row. And I was like uh, and
it literally clicked. I was like don't call that out.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
No, you don't ever call out people's eating habits.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
I have.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
I've done it on like it's like a protein base,
so like I don't feel is like, oh, I'm reading
pizza like every second day. Yeah, and like if you
do do that, go you go crazy. But like I
need to somewhat not counteract all the exercise I do
by ingesting that level of carbs every night. AnyWho, we
were also talking on New Zealand. I am going to
(06:46):
New Zealand next week, next Tuesday, so it's in less
than a week now. This comes out tomorrow. Like I said,
I need some serious fucking advice. I'm going for Snowmachine
the festival, which which is like you ski during the
day and then there's like stages up the mountain, and
then at night you go home get ready, and then
(07:06):
there's we're saying at a hotel, and then there's like after
parties and events and everything, and it'll be so much fun.
I can't wait. What the fuck do I wear? So
during the day day stages, obviously I'll be in my
snow what I'm skiing, and you know that's fine. Am
I wearing jeans? Am I with thermals under it? Am
I wearing tracksuits to people wear trend's coats or is
it more like bombers and puffer jackets? Vibe like how dressy?
(07:29):
What type of shoes am I wearing? Am I wearing
snow boots? Am I wearing normal boots not high heel boots?
I'm not stupid, I'm wearing runners. What do I do?
Speaker 1 (07:37):
I'm panicked. I've never been in the snow or stayed.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
There, right, So he's like, what are you going to do?
Speaker 1 (07:43):
And I run very cold, Like yeah, I said this yesterday,
I say it again. I wear animals every day.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
It's crazy, that's crazy behaving. I run hot, but like,
I'll be in the snow, so I can't be like, yeah,
I guess.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
The cracks of what I'm saying. If I'm in the snow,
I'm not trying to look good.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Yeah, but I am. Yeah, but I also want to
fit in and I don't want to be like wearing
a fucking leather trench coat and everyone's like, what the
fuck is wrong with that?
Speaker 1 (08:06):
It's a different type of trip.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Yeah, it's definitely more casual, and I think I'm happy
for that, Like it'll be warm, cozy, but it's like
when you're walking around at night going home, apparently it's
like four degrees, but then you're in these bars and
stuff where it's going to be really hot, So I'm like,
what level of clothing do I wear?
Speaker 1 (08:24):
So true, it's my only reference point is like movies.
But for example, move the club and the pups that
you go to in the snow they all actually a fireplace, and.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
I don't know, I don't think there's a bit of American.
I think it's very American, but I think my question
is are people kind of stiffing the cold for those
walks home and more dressing for like the temperature that
will be in the bars. I've tried to do research,
but I'm surprisingly not finding many snow machine outfits on tiptop,
Like I don't know why. It's not like BTV and
(08:53):
stuff where people like post all their outfits. Like people
are not doing any of that. So I don't even
really know what's going on. So if anyone's going to
be there, great, say hi, come find me, but I
really need to know what you're wearing.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
That's my in advance.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Yeah, we've got like two New Zealand listeners out there, so.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Please, we re recorded that part for you.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
You know, literally, I've re recorded because I fucking need advice.
So if you're listening to it, text me asap, send
me photos. I we'll know what people have worn on previously.
Is I just need to know what the vibe is
because I'm really, really, really scared and they just want
to look cute. Okay, guys, so we're going to get
into our weekly hear me out. My hear me out?
(09:34):
Is hear me out? Men should not have a shirtless
selfie as their first photo on a dating profile ever,
and second part part two, if there is any shirtless
gym selfie in the dating profile, it's also an immediate no.
I don't care what positioning it's at. Agreed, Yeah, I
(09:55):
don't mind. I like, quite frankly a shirtless photo within
a dating profile. But I think that's to be said
about people that put it first. Like if I put
a photo in my bikini's first time on a dating profile,
I feel like it's just like not necessarily, it doesn't
need to be first. That's very much like look at me,
look at my body.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
No, And it's all about the user experience, like you
want to take them on a little bit of a journey.
So yeah, you want almost like your second best photos
your first.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
Really, I like, because you don't want to see, oh wow,
they look so hot and then be like, yeah, no
they're not, and they're like, oh I'm intrigued. Oh whole
they're really hot. Look at them in a suit. All
they've got friends, personality, drinking bars, like drinking stuf relevant,
but it's in like they're just like enjoying themselves with
some friends. And then maybe the fourth photo could be
a nice photo of you, like on a beach with
(10:41):
your friends or bending down fucking making sound castles. I
don't care. Do not take a shirtless mirror selfie or
to know?
Speaker 1 (10:48):
No?
Speaker 2 (10:49):
And I think that's across the board for a lot
of females.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
But the thing is, if you're actually swiping through and
you do come to a shirtless photo after seeing really
nice ones, after being like, oh I'm interested. That amazing, it's.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
A little like plus yeah, But if it's taken yourself
in a mirror, it's a no.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
You're not writing on the abs. Yeah, you're writing on
the potential and the app Yess how amazing is that?
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Yeah? And I do actually really think that Boys Boys
prompts on Hinge is actually something I pay a lot
of attention to if there's personality, definitely, like if people
go what's a green flag? I look out for red flags,
like babe, find some new material.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
I would almost argue the prompts are almost just as.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
They really are, because if I see a really good
looking guy, but I look at their prompts and they've
got those basic stocks downard answers like what's something I
don't like pineapple and pizza, I'm like, you have no personality,
and I'm not going to say yes, like shut out,
not to say my prompts are fucking amazing, Like I
don't even know.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
But it needs to signal. It's like how much you
speak as well, because obviously I'm not on dating apps anymore,
but when I was, if I would see a guy
with like one word for his prompts, I'm like, okay,
so I'm about to match to a fucking hard.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Yeah, Like there's no point, like I'm going to be
matching to a wall, Like we're going to struggle with
this conversation. It's gonna get nowhere, we're gonna end up
not talking again, Like there's no point. I just won't
do it.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
It's a hard part.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
But what's my typical sunday gym and walk? No? Like, great,
if you go to the gym, absolutely, like people don't
work on themselves, that's amazing, But like people, a lot
of guys actually make it quite a lot of their
profile that they're like healthy and fit. Like that's really
good on you, but you now seem boring to me,
(12:32):
And bear in mind there is a lot of very
non boring people that work out. But it's like, if
you make it your whole fucking dating profile, I'm like,
what the fuck's the point and actions?
Speaker 1 (12:41):
Honey, just show us that you're fit.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Yeah, great, show me a little shirtless fucking photo of
you by the pool with your mate. I would love
to see it, but I don't need to hear the
your typical sunday is the gym? No, because I don't
want to wake up on a Sunday and you'd be like, bye, girl,
I'm just gonna go what man think I was a
fine girl.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Queen, So let's hope not.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Yeah, let's have that or they're probably on the wrong
app grinder.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Probably one of my actions of your axes but.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
I just think, yeah, if you've got shirtless gym photos
on your dating profile, delinte it. Or if you have
a shirtless photo, first move it down.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
So agreed. So I have a different hime out this week.
Yes please, I actually used a different.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
One, but we need to change it up. All.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Okay, this one's a bit more personal to me.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
We're like angry at the world right now. Like I know, guys,
we love you like whol we angry. We're like, I
used a different one last week, but it's like, these
guys did not do this to us. Sorry.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
So yeah, if you were a regular at a cafe,
the barista should not make that clear or make it
obvious to you.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
You reckon. So I think there's something nice in people
remembering what you.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Get, I know, and there's a way to go about it.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Okay, give me an example.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
I have a new coffee shop in Richmond and it
is my Saturday joy to the point now I do
go twice today. I'm like, okay, the first one hit,
let's go back for round two. I went back for
the second time on Saturday.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
Is that the one around this corner? Well really is.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
I'm weirdly in love with her. Yeah, it's crazy, and
the woman just appears from under the counter and she's like,
you're back.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
Yeah, don't make me feel stupid. You're getting coffee, not
fucking pizza. I think it's different if I'm a regular,
like uber Hits Order or something, and then I sometimes
I have gotten a message from people to work at those.
I like, you get that past a lot. Yeah, I do,
I do. It's not yeah, I don't think there's I've
(14:51):
never been a regular at a coffee shop because I
just make coffees at home like someone intends to get
them out. But I definitely have been regulars at bars,
and I actually quite enjoy it because they always give
me free drinks.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
This is great. You can become royalty there and as
can you at a cat.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
I was fucking no. I I'll never say that I
was royalty. But there was a bar, my favorite bar
in the fucking world. I'm actually not going to tell
you guys, because last time I did that now I
can't even get a resume. But my favorite bar I
used to go to all the time. They would like
move people, they had like a lot. It wasn't because
of social media or anything. It was just because I
went there so much. I had some of some friends
that were similar, like they just knew them and would
(15:28):
always help us therefore.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
Get tables, so you kept them afloat.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
Yeah, and they'd like full like move people off the
table sometimes. And I fucking loved it, Like I could
go there whenever, and I went there fucking three times
a week, like if I was ever getting drinks before anything,
that was where I was going.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
I woke up the other day, I'm out in front
the chit goes, can I have your idea? I'm like,
excuse me, like I hadn't seen it before, and obviously
now they're checking id's that's fine whatever, Like I didn't mind.
But then there's the guy that was always helping me.
It doesn't work there anymore. Now I can never get
a table, and I'm so sad because I'm like, that
was my favorite bar right now I don't have one.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
You're back to the bottom line.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
I'm back to the bottom of the barrel. And I'm like,
I actually put in grunt work to get that status there.
I drank so much at your permoise and you're not
giving me a table, And.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
It does go beyond just buy like I put.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
On and I knew all the stuff, Like I like,
like I didn't know all the stuff. I just like
I was always there and I always bring people there,
and I'm like, I loved the vibe and the energy there,
and now I'm like, I actually can't get a table there,
and I'm like, that's fine, Like I'm not It's what
I believe me when I say I do not mean
this in any way that it's like I have an
Instagram following and that's why they gave me a table.
It was more just that I went there so much
(16:38):
that I knew some people there and they would always
help me get the table because like they knew me.
But yeah, I don't think he works there anymore. And
now they always ask for my idea and they make
me put my name down and I'm like, so, i
haven't been there in like four weeks now, and I'm
planning on going tomorrow, okay with Cara and Silk. And
(16:59):
by the time this comes out, some of you will
be listening fucking pray for me that I'm sitting at
that bar with a fucking wine in my hand, because otherwise, actually, otherwise,
what what do I can to do?
Speaker 1 (17:11):
I'll just fucking drink on my bedroom.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Anything to give. We'll see how we go, but I'll
update you on whether I can get a table. It's
just like the problem with the places I end up
always liking is that you can't book. If I could book, great,
there would be no fucking issue. But I can't book
at this place. So it's like you just kind of
have to hope and pray. But it's going to be
a Thursday tomorrow, so I'm like, maybe I can go
sit down, make some connections with the new staff and
(17:36):
build up my report again.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
And before we get into advice, yeah, lad's finish on
a beautiful listener. Hear me out and it's a couples
that post a lot together. Something seems sus they're not happy.
They're not.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
I actually really agree with you. I think it also, however,
plays across in two people. I think people that feel
the need to regularly post saying how happen they are
there's something going on beyond the surface, Like I almost
think it's a way to brag, but it's only really
benefiting them because we're all like, do you need to
tell us you're happy every five minutes? If you actually are.
(18:12):
It's different going like I've hit a really good spot
in my life, I'm feeling really good and leaving it
at that. But if you need to post multiple times
a fucking week saying that your life's incredible now, it's like,
are you actually fucking happy? Because why do you need
to tell us? It annoys me And I think it's couples.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Of the same. Yeah. I think it's a big reassurance thing,
especially for like couples, and it always seems like there's
one in the partnership that is like lasting so much more.
I was saying to you that I've been with my
boyfriend for almost four years now and he's made it
on like one of myne of your clothes, Yeah, and
like one of my girlfriends was like, girl, you're acting
like you're fucking single. Yeah. No, I'm just not truthfully
(18:46):
that happy with any of the photos we have. Yeah,
And it's not necessary, No, But I've never felt like
I'm missing out on anything not sharing him.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Yeah. Bear in mind, though, like people posting their partner
is not an issue at any means. I think there's
a certain way that they post it, which I think
most of you listening will probably understand. I don't really
know how to describe it, but you can kind of
just see.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
I can describe it like if you're.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
Going to an event and you're posting your partner. Great,
But it's like there's a certain I think it's more tiktoks,
i'd say, than Instagra.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
Yeah, or the anniversary one. It's like, dear Joe, we
traveled mountains together. Yeah, speaks with Truss.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
Like, what are you talking about?
Speaker 1 (19:23):
We're not across your fucking shit.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
But now we know you've had some troughs, so tell
us you're in one now. Yeah. I think I wonder
whether there's someone like, for example, so Sofi doofha. I
think she obviously has done a really good job at
keeping a new relationship quite private, and I think that's
completely fair enough and understandable considering the amount of public
(19:45):
opinion that.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
Her last time just interest.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Yeah, so I completely understand it, and I really I
do respect it. I don't I'm not saying that people
that post their partners it's a bad thing by any means.
I wonder I'm on sure as to what I will
do with my next relationship and whether I'll be posting
my partner. But I definitely like, my whole intention is
to have a partner that doesn't have anything to do
with social media, Like it's happy to maybe be in
(20:08):
mine or but I want them to have like their
own job, their own career, and not like start. You know,
sometimes partners can gain followings due to their partners, you
know what I mean, and then start getting their own
brand deals. Obviously, that's whatever anyone wants to do. Like
I'm not judging anyone. I'm more saying what I would want.
I wouldn't want it to be like that.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
It would just hard, it'd be hard to trust.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Because then you're doing brand deals together and stuff. I
then think it also becomes a work thing, and I'm like,
I want, I do really want my partner to be
my private partner this time, because it's like I really
hope that my next person is my person, you know,
twenty five now, it would be a nice time to
maybe meet the guy that I'm then going to like
date for a couple of years and then marry. I'm
(20:49):
gonna find him in New York on Wall Street. Apparently
this may be an untrue fact, but my friend Annabelt
always says it, and like I actually I probably need
a fact check it Approximately one in every twenty four
York City residents are millionaires, which is pretty fucking good.
But I just think, I don't know, there's something about
the fact that I've decided I'm going to New York
next year. My plan is like three months, then Europe
(21:11):
then three months, so all up, I'll probably be away
for like seven or eight I know, but I'm like,
fuck finding a man here. Like I'm just like, I
really feel like New York's going to be so good
for me in the sense I do feel very stagnant
in my life right now. Like my life is incredible
and I'm so grateful for it, but I think there's
something about seeing so many people around you in love
(21:32):
and like I'm like, I just want something different. Like
what I'm living and what I'm experiencing right now is
not bad, it's amazing, and I'm so incredibly lucky to
have it. But I'm like, I'm young and i'm single,
and I can like right now, do you know what
I mean? There's nothing holding me back from doing it,
and I'm like, I really feel like maybe I'll meet
my man there and if one of don'ty Borrow's a millionaires.
I'm just going to walk up and down Wall Street
(21:52):
in a cute little dress.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
You don't need to pay for accommodation, Go up and down.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
It made me like I was these videos the other
day and it actually made me like a really hopeful
for love. And I it was a girl called Grace
Beverly and she's just gotten married and she posted a
video talking about her wedding mows and it's her obviously
talking to her partner, and they're quite long. They were
so beautiful that I actually cried and I was like,
(22:19):
I mixed, how excited for a love like that? And
she said she's from London. She met her partner he
lived in New York and that's why I'm like, I
could meet a man like that. This is my plot,
do you know what I mean? And she says the
most beautiful things, like one of her lines, she was like,
my heart feels safer in your hands than in my
own body. And I'm like, I actually wrote that down,
like I have a little like fucking wedding mao, like
(22:41):
dot points just to like inspire me for my own
wedding one day. But if you want a little it
just made me excited. It actually made me hopeful and
like not sad, like not jealous, Like, yes, I'm jealous.
He looks incredible and she looks so happy and they
both seem like a perfect fucking couple. But she doesn't
like blast him all over her feet either. And I
think that's tied into like what we were saying earlier,
(23:02):
that there's something weirdly sus about couples that feel the
need to put each other online all the time.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
Yeah, and I understand some people might feel weird about
wedding content, but I just find weddings like inspiring and beautiful.
This is what I want.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
And it's like even being single, like there is an
aspect of like, oh I want that, but I'm like,
I'm gonna get that, you will, And like hearing how
much how safe and loved that girl felt like it
just made me so excited to get that myself. And
like I've refused to accept anything less like and I
was like, oh, you're so picky. I've been single for
four years. I'm like, I've been through two really hard
relationships and I'm going to be that way because I
don't want to do that heartbreak again. Absolutely, you know,
(23:38):
so I will wait, and you know, maybe a man
in New York will sweep me off my feet, and
I hope so I feel it in my bones. A
million A millionaire one would be nice, but I do
feel it in my bones that maybe I'll meet someone
over there that's going to be my person, which is
weird because Americans didn't think, but not that I say,
I didn't think, like it's already fucking happened, but I
(23:58):
really anyway, I'm just being hopeful and I'm manifesting this
for myself. And if you want something to manifest for
that checks video. The vowels are really really fucking beautiful
and I would recommend. All right, guys, So what we're
doing this week, we're calling it help me Out. I know,
we did a lot of dilemmas back in the day
on the Just for Girls account and I love doing
that and I wanted to do something similar here, but
(24:19):
we needed a funky, cool name for it. I came
up with it. She did, I did? I told you,
no one knows, and I'm like, I never come up
with anything creative, which is why why West I'm saying
that with such like I came up with it. Like
a brat, but I usually like handball. All my fucking
creative needs off to blake. And I was like, well
it's called hear me out. Let's do help me out.
(24:41):
So we've gotten some dilemmas from you guys, and we're
going to be going through them and I can't wait.
So we're going to be getting into your problems instead
of mine. Let's go, all right, help me out. Earlier
this year, I got out of a long term, three
and a half year relationship after finding out my boyfriend
had been cheating on me. I hate men. Why do
they suck? Feel's sister? But boys suck? Men are wonderful
(25:05):
and we'll find one. It's been a long year with
a lot of growth and personal development, and honestly, I'm
doing well now. Being single has been such a new experience.
Though with the extra time on my hands, I got
involved in my local football club, helping out. I know
you're probably thinking, but honestly, it's been so fun. Bro.
If I could become a fucking what are they? Oh
(25:26):
my god, what a boy? No? Yes, but the people
that massage the football at a local football club, like
for my first like job or something that would be
so fun like, I would love that. I totally get
why you've done it. The boys have all been so
lovely to me, treating me like a little sister. It's
(25:46):
been nice being around guys who are kind and not slimy. Anyway,
here's my conundrum. There's one guy I just can't help
but have a crush on, sister. Why else you work
at a local football club. It's where you pick your man.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Are you coming here for work? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (25:59):
Come on, he's attractive. We get along so well, but
all the other guys are strictly friendship vibe, so I
can't tell if he feels the same towards me or
if he's just being friendly like they are. I think
maybe because I'm attracted to him, I'm reading into things.
I also feel like my radar with this stuff is
so off, and it's been a while since I've been
back in the game. So my question is, how do
I figure out if there's something more? How do I
(26:19):
make it clear if there's anything more without ruining the friendship.
There's definitely been flirty moments, lots of eye contact, but
I feel so out of my depth. Any advice would
be amazing. That's on the success of the podcast. You're
the best, Thanks, honey, all right, I don't think you
read things wrong. I think if there's that eye contact
and that flirty vibe there generally is especially if you
don't feel like you're getting that anywhere else. I think
(26:41):
he's probably feeling very similarly to you, where all that
eye contact and those flirty vibes is his way of
figuring out whether you're interested, because you also are there
with a whole bunch of other guys that he might
be like. Maybe she likes one of them. So I
think hopefully you're already following him on Instagram. I would
say step one is following him on Instagram. Step two
(27:02):
is reply to one of his stories and get a
conversation going that way, and if he continues to ask
you questions. I think it's an easy way to tell
is if a boy is continuing the conversation through asking
you questions, meaning they want to keep it going, Whereas
if they kind of reply something short that ends it,
then leave it there. But I'd say just reply to
(27:24):
his stories. Don't like his stories because a lot of
people don't see story likes. I think they're basically pointless. Yeah,
I'd say try and get a convot going through a
follow and a story reply and see that way, and
then it's like, if he's giving you nothing back, great,
you were just being friendly And I don't think the
friendship will be ruined through that. But I think that's
(27:44):
a good way to gauge interest, is by starting a
conversation like that. Hear me out. I've been with my
boyfriend for almost a year. He's the sweetest, kindest guy.
I truly can't fault him. He treats me like a princess.
Luck you nah, good on you, girl, I'm sure you
deserve it. Prior to being with him, I was on
and off with a girl I never labeled my sexuality
(28:06):
because she's the only girl I've ever liked. She was toxic,
had no drive in life, and was quite the opposite
of me. My issue is I can't stop thinking about her.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
Girl.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
I will start, I will before I finish this. I
will start by saying that toxicity gets your adrenaline up
and it like makes you excited. But it's like you'd
almost like those butterflies that people always say, like when
you're with someone that is toxic, you get these butterflies
and excitement but it's like that's not true love. Love
is like safe and calm, and it's like, I think
(28:37):
that's why you're thinking about her because you have all
this like adrenaline an emotion when you think about her
because of everything you went through with her. But that
doesn't know. I'm gonna say right now, I'm gonna I
hope this doesn't end with anything bad. But you are
not no this girl. You don't ever want to be
with someone with no drive anyways, No, okay, I'll continue,
(28:58):
No yever. I see her at our sports club. It's
unintentionally flirty. A few months ago, she told me she
feels the same way, and I'm still in her mind
and even admitted that I'm the best kiss she's ever had.
She's been in a relationship since with the vibe is
still there. No, no, no, again. I don't speak to
her now, but the season is over, so I won't
see her again. But she's still on my mind. What
(29:19):
do I do? My boyfriend is an angel, Everything aligns.
He's so driven. I can't get her out of my head. Yeah, no, sorry,
I think that's just gonna take some time. You know,
it was my exos. There's still moments where sometimes something
will remind me of them and they get in my
head like they were very toxic, and it takes a
really long time for me to get over it because
of all those intense highs and intense lows. And that's
(29:42):
probably something you experienced with this girl. But the right
person will never make you feel those intense lows, you know,
So no, stay with your angel boyfriend. That girl seems
like bad fucking news. And I think the moment you
end up with your boyfriend to be with her, she'd
end up fucking you over again, and then you may
struggle to get your amazing partner. So I'm just going
to say get over it in the kindest way possible.
(30:04):
I know it's hard, but I believe that you're with
a guy that's amazing.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
So I'm just going to quickly jump in there, go on.
Since we're watching the Summer I turned pretty yes, do
you think she can be with him while still having
this other girl in her head?
Speaker 2 (30:18):
I think she can get over it. I understand it's hard,
and I think there's always that thing of what if
and the people you can't have you are almost weirdly
drawn to more A lot of the time. Yeah, but
there's a reason you love the person you're with, and
there's a reason you're with that person, you know.
Speaker 1 (30:32):
I think we should acknowledge that maybe there's.
Speaker 2 (30:35):
Maybe he's not the guy for you if you're thinking
about someone else. But I definitely don't think that girl's
the girl for you either.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
Yeah, And I think it's just like obviously so very
different between a girl and the guy, Like they're very
different relationships. It might just be something that she's working
through as well.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
Yeah, you know, maybe it's, you know, kind of showing
you that you may your sexuality, you may be by
or something. But I don't think that girl is a
person for you.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
And I think a healthy boyfriend would be way better
for you to navigate your sexuality than an unhealthy girlfriend.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
Yeah, you know what I mean totally. And yeah, maybe
you're wondering. I may mean that he isn't the guy,
but I definitely don't think she is either. Good luck.
I feel like that is a hard thing to think about,
but I feel like if you are in a happy relationship,
like navigate it with him. Hiz. He loving your podcast.
(31:27):
I've been supporting it for the past three years and
look forward to it every week. This stuff is so
nice here. I think you guys under ustmate. Putting that
like a little bit in like makes me so happy.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
And can I add just on like play ground end,
We're just sitting here and I like editor when I
get back to the office, so like there's not much interactions.
Like hearing out stuff is really sweet.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
Yeah, it's so lovely. Something I'm really struggling with is
finding solid friends in my twenties. I've graduated school a
few years ago, and I feel like my friends have
outgrown each other. I honestly feel so lonely. I work
a nine to five Monday to Friday, and once the
weekends come up, feels like every day is the same.
I'm very lucky to have my boyfriend. He's been so
supportive of me, but I still wish I had some
good girlfriends. Sometimes I overthink and tell myself I should
(32:08):
be grateful for what I've got. But this has really
bothered me the past two years, and they don't know
who to talk about it anymore. How do I stop
this constant thought? I have every day love you so much.
I want to give good advice, but I think I
have been lucky that I did a lot of sports,
and I had a lot of friends through that, and
I did change friendship groups in when I was I
(32:33):
think nineteen or twenty actually, and it was just through
one girl that I really really liked and she then
kind of introduced me to everyone, and I'm now like
really close with now. I'd say, even having your partner
is amazing, and that's so nice to have such a
crutch like that. But even if he has friends that
maybe have other partners and you can kind of get
(32:53):
close to his his friend's girlfriends and his friend's partners
and stuff like that is a nice way to make friends.
And then I think even just having finding maybe one
girl like that, she might have a whole other group
of friends, and then you end up finding through those
groups the people that you connect to more. And I
think it almost grows like a tree, like the branch
(33:14):
has kind of come off, and you find like different
groups through that, or you could maybe join I know,
my mum's started joining hottery classes and she has pickleball
and stuff and she's made new friends from there. I
don't know if like hobbies like that is something you'd
be interested in, but little things like that where you
can find like like minded girlfriends and even if, like
I said, just one can lead to a whole different
(33:36):
group of friends that you end up becoming really close with.
It's not easy, and I think there's so many people
struggling with that that even if you reach out to
people online like they might be feeling the exact same
and it could be the start of something like an
amazing friendship. But yeah, it's definitely not something that you're
alone in.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
I'm just going to jump in clean. Recently, I always
say recently, but it's been two years now, but I
moved from Sydney to Melbourne.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
Yeah, how did you go with that?
Speaker 1 (34:05):
I it's really funny because everyone said that Sydney is
a clique place, whereas I much find Melbourne to be clickie. Yeah,
I think it's a big It is clique. It's a
big country town in a way. Sydney is a lot
more international and there's people from all different areas where
I feel like a lot of people in Melbourne Melbourne centric,
Like even on nights out, I met a lot of
my friends in Sydney on the dance was in the area,
(34:28):
you know, Whereas in Melbourne people go out in their
set established groups. It's not much wriggle room. The boyfriend
point is really great. I moved. My boyfriend was originally
from Melbourne, who had a lot of Melbourne friends. Now
I catch up with some of his girlfriends and he
doesn't even know about it. Yeah, I'm actually going to
a concert in November with some of his girlfriends. He
didn't even get an invite. Yeah, so that's an easy way. Work. Easy, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
Work. It's like, is there any even like maybe one
girl you like from work you can go with a
couple of her friends, and it's like, you never know,
one of her friends might become your new best friend.
Like I feel like you can't almost need to pull
on the connections you have with other people in a
sense sometimes And like I went out with my friend
Angel the other day. She brought a couple girls she
knew from work, and then I feel like I'm friends
(35:12):
with them now too. Yeah you know, so, Oh it's
definitely not easy, but it comes to just a point of yeah, whoever,
bring whoever, like, kind of try and make the circle
you're meeting with wider.
Speaker 1 (35:24):
Yeah, And I think just like kind of removed this
seeing of friendships in your twenties and how important they
are and what it should look like, because I.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
Don't think I was having a partner in your twenties
also something that's amazing, and it's like that's something that
I'm struggling to find myself. So it's like we've each
got maybe one of the two, do you know what
I mean? So it's yeah, I wish I could give
more solid advice or maybe how I did it. But
I think because yeah, I'm actually not friends with really
anyone that I went to school with anymore, I'm I'm lucky.
(35:53):
I have a legro who I've known since I was
a kid, and then my friend Georgie kind of introduced
me to the group I'm in now. So I have been,
I guess, blessed in the fact that I am able
to find friends. I don't even know if maybe you
have a sibling like I now consider a lot of
my sister's friends my friends through going out with her
and her girlfriend. So maybe if you have a sibling
(36:15):
or even a brother that has girlfriends and you're a
similar age, that might be somewhere you can start as
well and just putting a bit more effort into those
relationships as well.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
Yeah, and like you don't have to. You don't have
to be the first one to meet someone that owned
a friendship. Like one of my girlfriends she's just moved
to Europe. I actually met an amazing group of girls
at her farewell and we got along like a house
on fire. We're going to catch up in a few months.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
Yeah, I just come. I think it also comes to
putting in effort, Like if you meet someone at something
like that, message them, follow it up, you know, try
and establish a friendship there, because I feel like you
would meet a lot of people you know around but
you would just think, oh, they were a really nice girl.
But like that's just all they is. Follow it up. Yeah,
you know, put yourself out there. And I know that's
a lot easier said than done, but I feel like
(37:00):
there's no harm in giving it a go. All right,
help me out. One of my close friends has an
obsession with my boyfriend. Bruh. I've experienced this. They ended
up sleeping together behind my back. That was really fun. Luck,
So let's get into it. She touches him inappropriately, constantly
texts him, always talks about him all the time, invites
(37:23):
him to her house. No, no, No, No, he's always
trying to hang out with him, even one on one.
These are all like red flags this girl is not
your friend. You should not be friends to that.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
Like.
Speaker 2 (37:35):
No, I've told her so many times to back off,
and she does, but only for a few days. No.
I actually can't stand the fucking So. The challenging thing
about this stuff is you cannot control a anyone.
Speaker 1 (37:48):
No.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
You can tell them again and again and again that
you do not appreciate something and you do not like it,
but you cannot stop them from doing it.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
And there's a bit of personal pr in it. We
don't want to come across so satic and be like
fucking miss fuck off. Yeah, you know see, you kind
of have to go about it respectfully for your own But.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
Then it's like they think you're a doormat, so they
just go you know what, I'd rather deal with a
little talking too from Betsy and keep talking to John. Yeah,
fuck off. I hate girls like this. I actually will
say that I hate girls that don't respect boundaries of
other people's relationships. My boyfriend thinks they're just friends. Well,
your boyfriend needs to pull his head out of his ass,
because this girl's acting in appropriately and it started to
(38:29):
back away because of how uncomfortable I am. That is good. Still,
she doesn't take the hint. I don't really speak to
her anymore. I'll just say hi if I see her.
But she's in the same friendship group as me, so
I can't fully avoid her. She truly drives me insane
and has caused so many arguments in my relationship. I
don't know what to do. I don't look. I think
it's great that your boyfriend backs off. I think your boyfriend.
(38:50):
I think because she's not listening to you, your boyfriend
actually probably needs to set a boundary in a sense
now out of respect for you, not respond if she
texts him, not ever hang out one on one with her. Yes,
it's like not ideal that this girl is causing arguments
or getting involved, but it now becomes a point where
you kind of need to set some sort of boundary
(39:11):
with her because she's not listening to you. So, yeah,
your boyfriend seems like he's willing to make those changes
to keep you happy. Just later on the law, don't
text her, don't respond her, Like I just think the
boundary has been crossed, and it's like, this is kind
of the only solution now, especially if she is in
your friendship group, cut the bitch off.
Speaker 1 (39:30):
I find the theme with the this happens a lot.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
It happens a fucking Also the amount of fucking submissions
we get about shit like this, and it drives me
up the wall because I've had a similar experience and
there was so little I could do to prevent it
whilst all trying to keep the peace, and then I
would lose my shit and everyone would be like, what
is he doing? Like I'd say, if people look back
(39:55):
on who I was in my first relationship, or is
he with a psycho? Psycho? That's all I get. I'm like,
the combination of having a friend like that and having
a boyfriend who wasn't loyal to me and didn't listen
to me like your boyfriend at least seems to be
doing made me fucking crazy And like, no, I don't
think that's who I am. I definitely don't think that's
who I'm going to carry into my next relationship. But like,
(40:17):
I got so down on myself because of how people
made me feel. I think you're allowed to have boundaries,
You're allowed to feel threatened by someone that's fucking actively
trying to get with your partner, you know. And you're
not crazy for laying down the law, you know. And
I don't handle it how I did.
Speaker 1 (40:33):
But and it's nice to see some onus on the guy. Yeah,
and I'm glad this guy is stepping up because every
time it comes into our inbox. For example, I know
female friendships are very complicated and sticky, but it's like
it almost becomes this thing that the two women need
to figure out. Yeah, it's like, hey, no, he has responsiblity.
Speaker 2 (40:51):
Yeah, because I think a lot of the ones we
get is that her boyfriend the partner will be like, oh,
he thinks they're just friends, and he doesn't. He thinks
I'm being insane. So at least you're partners. Hearing you
is uncomfortable gets it. If he's uncomfortable, great, he needs
to lay something down and boundaries himself then, you know,
because I am sure if it was his friend, you
would do that and be just you just probably wouldn't
(41:13):
reply if his friend texted you, And I think he
needs to start doing stuff like that. She'll get the
hint eventually, like if she thinks there's no inn and
it's an unbreakable fucking wall that she can't penetrate. She
will start so create that wall. Guys, don't let her
fucking any any.
Speaker 1 (41:29):
Build it, build it.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
Build that wall. We're not Trumpies, Oh my god, no no, no,
no Trump. I'll throw Trump over a fucking wall. Hey, guys,
that was today's episode. We have so many other dilemmas,
so if yours didn't get read out tonight, we will
listen to your help me out on next week's episode
for a part two. But I love you, and thank
(41:51):
you and thanks all the little messages. They mean so
much to me. And I feel like side note, even
starting like I would call this my business. I guess
in a sense, I know it's not like your average business,
but I think I always was so down on myself
onto whether I could do something on my own, because
I've always called myself really lazy, you know, just like
(42:12):
I never had much drive. So I feel like now
creating this, I feel like it's become something now and
I just even feel like I'm really proud of myself
for being able to do it on my own. And
I'm not even on my own, like soe, I fucking
write hand mat, But I just want to thank you
guys all for the support, because I couldn't and wouldn't
be able to do it without you guys listening every
week and tuning in and sending me in all your stuff.
(42:33):
So thank you. I'm very very grateful and I love
you on other seaty next week. Hi,
We're not trumpies.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Oh my god, no, no, no, no Trump. I'll throw
Trump over a fucking wall. Hello, welcome back to hear
me out. I'm your host, Easy Armatage, and I am
in a not so good food. Last time we recorded Blake,
it was here with me. Hello. Hello. The whole first
(00:25):
half of the episode, sadly we didn't get Blake's mike,
and like it was actually probably one of my favorite
intros we've done in a while.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
I felt really comfortable, like almost too comfortable.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
It was we were angry, I had some stuff, but
you know what, I'm actually having a bit of a
shitty day. So the first half of this app is
going to be me unfiltered, quite honest, quite upset. But
we're going to try and redo some of the things
that we spoke.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
About, recreate the magic.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Recreate the magic, which isn't always easy. But I just
want you to know of it does sound ever so
slightly disconjoined? Was that the right word.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
I think today?
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Yeah, I'm not. I'm not in the mood, so it's
not the right word. Keep it to yourself. But if
it does sound slightly disconnected between the first half and
the second, that's.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
Why so, and I'm going to try my very fucking
best to make it so.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Be patient, maybe to get the vibes going. We get
straight into a little update on the summer. I ten,
and because I'm in a bad mood, I'm really gonna
just take all my anger out on Belly this week.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Yeah, and I feel like we're kind of nice to it.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Yeah, we're nice to it yesterday and today we're not
going to be so nice. Basically, this is spoilers for
anyone who hasn't seen it, So if you have not,
if you're not up to date, episode eight is what
we'll be talking about when this comes out. Episode nine
will be coming out. I want to change the date
my podcast releases so I can give you weekly the summer.
I turn pretty updates that aren't like a week behind.
(01:51):
But basically, Belly is getting on a plane to Paris.
She sees Conrad and I know that fucking bitch is
not going to give me what I want and turn
around and look at him. She is going to turn
away and with that plane, and I hate her for it.
All my angers going towards Bellie.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
I think she'll entertain it for a little moment, but
we know she likes a danglar carrot, make us think
she's finally going to do it.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
She's finally gonna come to her senses and walk towards
the guy and go, hey, Conrad, I didn't get married,
letting you know I'm not married, and I'm going to Paris.
I'm like, see, oh, but I know that woman is
going to gough. Let me just go find myself in Paris,
and she's going to turn away. And all I can
hope and pray for is that Conrad sees her before
(02:34):
she gets on the plane.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
It's going to be like this little monologue in her
head and she's like, it's time to choose me, like.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
I'm choosing Summer. We were saying last week that we
will allow Jenny Hahn, the writer and who she's directing it,
to give us a twenty minute Max Paris montage No more,
no more. If I wanted to see someone in Paris,
I would watch Emily in Paris. I need it to
be quick, quick, little bits and pieces, and then I
(03:03):
want to see Conrad's letter.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Coming because we saw Paris coming. We've known about this.
Why Paris, Like.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
I know she's on Paris. I don't need to see it.
Emily has Emily's got Paris covered, So I just want
it to be a montage. I'm concerned it's going to
be a whole episode on Paris. No, Like, okay, I'm
really worried that the letter from Conrad comes to at
the end of next episode, and then it's like a
whole episode of Paris, like Meeting finding Herself, a whole
(03:32):
episode of Bellie finding herself in Paris. Like, I actually
don't care for that.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
No, and then they're going to introduce new characters, new friends.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
I love interest. I don't give a fuck.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
We have committed three years to this and.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
Were only I need at least I need that. Yeah,
I need more than just two episodes. A little French
painter that like gives her meets her at a cafe
and sits down. I can't, I don't care. I don't.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
I'm not even going to get into like how she
meets this new guy, but she's still gonna like walk
past him on the street. He'll like accidentally bump into her.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Yeah, well she's I reckon. She's going to be sitting
staring off into the fucking distance at some Parisian cafe,
drinking a fucking latte, and this guy is gonna go hello,
like ella, f Karen, how do you say milady or something?
And sit down? And then she's anyway, and she's going
(04:33):
to entertain it for far too long for my liking,
and that's gonna ruin the whole episode. So basically, we're
going into episode nine with a bad vibe, and.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
The vibes are always bad because that that girl.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
That girl pushes my buttons in every way, shape or form,
like the summer that belly finds no one and ends
up alone, Like that's what I want, give me, Conrad,
But that's all I feel like we need to touch on.
I'm just infuriated by her. And oh my god, I
get to watch your time.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
I know we're.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Recording this on the night is it? Does it come
out on Wednesday?
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Eight pm? Wednesdays? Oh? Eight PM's crazy? Why eight pm?
I was actually watching nine pm.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
So annoying, Like I'm lucky, I've got a bed late.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Literally, Nine Perfect Strangers was on Prime as well, and
they released eight pm every Thursday. Sounds weird. Give me midnight.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Midnights like Wednesday night midnight, Like yeah, give me drop
it in the morning. So I can watch it whenever
I have fucking time droughout the day. No.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
No.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
Finding out that it's coming out tonight has changed my
dinner plans because initially I was going to make a
MALEI spoon Swedish meeple some shit that was good for
my body, not good for my soul. And now I
am going to make home made pizza so I can
really enjoy the episode while eating something.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
I like, I feel like you did this last episode
as well. Yes, it's like, no, it's a week you're allowed.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
To stay the summer. I done pretty night is enjoy
yourself night.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
Yeah, but bearing in mind you can eat pizza any
day of the week.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
I can, and I do once. I accidentally I ate
it two days ago. I'm not like it's like a
weekly treat for me. This is a regular.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
When I moved to Melbourne, it was like a week
where I had to live it to of friends in
Sydney as I was finishing off my time in Sydney
and I ordered a pizza one and I was like, Oh,
you're not doing bad. This is a third pizza three
nights in a row. And I was like uh, and
it literally clicked. I was like don't call that out.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
No, you don't ever call out people's eating habits.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
I have.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
I've done it on like it's like a protein base,
so like I don't feel is like, oh, I'm reading
pizza like every second day. Yeah, and like if you
do do that, go you go crazy. But like I
need to somewhat not counteract all the exercise I do
by ingesting that level of carbs every night. AnyWho, we
were also talking on New Zealand. I am going to
(06:46):
New Zealand next week, next Tuesday, so it's in less
than a week now. This comes out tomorrow. Like I said,
I need some serious fucking advice. I'm going for Snowmachine
the festival, which which is like you ski during the
day and then there's like stages up the mountain, and
then at night you go home get ready, and then
(07:06):
there's we're saying at a hotel, and then there's like after
parties and events and everything, and it'll be so much fun.
I can't wait. What the fuck do I wear? So
during the day day stages, obviously I'll be in my
snow what I'm skiing, and you know that's fine. Am
I wearing jeans? Am I with thermals under it? Am
I wearing tracksuits to people wear trend's coats or is
it more like bombers and puffer jackets? Vibe like how dressy?
(07:29):
What type of shoes am I wearing? Am I wearing
snow boots? Am I wearing normal boots not high heel boots?
I'm not stupid, I'm wearing runners. What do I do?
Speaker 1 (07:37):
I'm panicked. I've never been in the snow or stayed.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
There, right, So he's like, what are you going to do?
Speaker 1 (07:43):
And I run very cold, Like yeah, I said this yesterday,
I say it again. I wear animals every day.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
It's crazy, that's crazy behaving. I run hot, but like,
I'll be in the snow, so I can't be like, yeah,
I guess.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
The cracks of what I'm saying. If I'm in the snow,
I'm not trying to look good.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Yeah, but I am. Yeah, but I also want to
fit in and I don't want to be like wearing
a fucking leather trench coat and everyone's like, what the
fuck is wrong with that?
Speaker 1 (08:06):
It's a different type of trip.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Yeah, it's definitely more casual, and I think I'm happy
for that, Like it'll be warm, cozy, but it's like
when you're walking around at night going home, apparently it's
like four degrees, but then you're in these bars and
stuff where it's going to be really hot, So I'm like,
what level of clothing do I wear?
Speaker 1 (08:24):
So true, it's my only reference point is like movies.
But for example, move the club and the pups that
you go to in the snow they all actually a fireplace, and.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
I don't know, I don't think there's a bit of American.
I think it's very American, but I think my question
is are people kind of stiffing the cold for those
walks home and more dressing for like the temperature that
will be in the bars. I've tried to do research,
but I'm surprisingly not finding many snow machine outfits on tiptop,
Like I don't know why. It's not like BTV and
(08:53):
stuff where people like post all their outfits. Like people
are not doing any of that. So I don't even
really know what's going on. So if anyone's going to
be there, great, say hi, come find me, but I
really need to know what you're wearing.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
That's my in advance.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Yeah, we've got like two New Zealand listeners out there, so.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Please, we re recorded that part for you.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
You know, literally, I've re recorded because I fucking need advice.
So if you're listening to it, text me asap, send
me photos. I we'll know what people have worn on previously.
Is I just need to know what the vibe is
because I'm really, really, really scared and they just want
to look cute. Okay, guys, so we're going to get
into our weekly hear me out. My hear me out?
(09:34):
Is hear me out? Men should not have a shirtless
selfie as their first photo on a dating profile ever,
and second part part two, if there is any shirtless
gym selfie in the dating profile, it's also an immediate no.
I don't care what positioning it's at. Agreed, Yeah, I
(09:55):
don't mind. I like, quite frankly a shirtless photo within
a dating profile. But I think that's to be said
about people that put it first. Like if I put
a photo in my bikini's first time on a dating profile,
I feel like it's just like not necessarily, it doesn't
need to be first. That's very much like look at me,
look at my body.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
No, And it's all about the user experience, like you
want to take them on a little bit of a journey.
So yeah, you want almost like your second best photos
your first.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
Really, I like, because you don't want to see, oh wow,
they look so hot and then be like, yeah, no
they're not, and they're like, oh I'm intrigued. Oh whole
they're really hot. Look at them in a suit. All
they've got friends, personality, drinking bars, like drinking stuf relevant,
but it's in like they're just like enjoying themselves with
some friends. And then maybe the fourth photo could be
a nice photo of you, like on a beach with
(10:41):
your friends or bending down fucking making sound castles. I
don't care. Do not take a shirtless mirror selfie or
to know?
Speaker 1 (10:48):
No?
Speaker 2 (10:49):
And I think that's across the board for a lot
of females.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
But the thing is, if you're actually swiping through and
you do come to a shirtless photo after seeing really
nice ones, after being like, oh I'm interested. That amazing, it's.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
A little like plus yeah, But if it's taken yourself
in a mirror, it's a no.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
You're not writing on the abs. Yeah, you're writing on
the potential and the app Yess how amazing is that?
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Yeah? And I do actually really think that Boys Boys
prompts on Hinge is actually something I pay a lot
of attention to if there's personality, definitely, like if people
go what's a green flag? I look out for red flags,
like babe, find some new material.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
I would almost argue the prompts are almost just as.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
They really are, because if I see a really good
looking guy, but I look at their prompts and they've
got those basic stocks downard answers like what's something I
don't like pineapple and pizza, I'm like, you have no personality,
and I'm not going to say yes, like shut out,
not to say my prompts are fucking amazing, Like I
don't even know.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
But it needs to signal. It's like how much you
speak as well, because obviously I'm not on dating apps anymore,
but when I was, if I would see a guy
with like one word for his prompts, I'm like, okay,
so I'm about to match to a fucking hard.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Yeah, Like there's no point, like I'm going to be
matching to a wall, Like we're going to struggle with
this conversation. It's gonna get nowhere, we're gonna end up
not talking again, Like there's no point. I just won't
do it.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
It's a hard part.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
But what's my typical sunday gym and walk? No? Like, great,
if you go to the gym, absolutely, like people don't
work on themselves, that's amazing, But like people, a lot
of guys actually make it quite a lot of their
profile that they're like healthy and fit. Like that's really
good on you, but you now seem boring to me,
(12:32):
And bear in mind there is a lot of very
non boring people that work out. But it's like, if
you make it your whole fucking dating profile, I'm like,
what the fuck's the point and actions?
Speaker 1 (12:41):
Honey, just show us that you're fit.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Yeah, great, show me a little shirtless fucking photo of
you by the pool with your mate. I would love
to see it, but I don't need to hear the
your typical sunday is the gym? No, because I don't
want to wake up on a Sunday and you'd be like, bye, girl,
I'm just gonna go what man think I was a
fine girl.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Queen, So let's hope not.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Yeah, let's have that or they're probably on the wrong
app grinder.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Probably one of my actions of your axes but.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
I just think, yeah, if you've got shirtless gym photos
on your dating profile, delinte it. Or if you have
a shirtless photo, first move it down.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
So agreed. So I have a different hime out this week.
Yes please, I actually used a different.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
One, but we need to change it up. All.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Okay, this one's a bit more personal to me.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
We're like angry at the world right now. Like I know, guys,
we love you like whol we angry. We're like, I
used a different one last week, but it's like, these
guys did not do this to us. Sorry.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
So yeah, if you were a regular at a cafe,
the barista should not make that clear or make it
obvious to you.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
You reckon. So I think there's something nice in people
remembering what you.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Get, I know, and there's a way to go about it.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Okay, give me an example.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
I have a new coffee shop in Richmond and it
is my Saturday joy to the point now I do
go twice today. I'm like, okay, the first one hit,
let's go back for round two. I went back for
the second time on Saturday.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
Is that the one around this corner? Well really is.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
I'm weirdly in love with her. Yeah, it's crazy, and
the woman just appears from under the counter and she's like,
you're back.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
Yeah, don't make me feel stupid. You're getting coffee, not
fucking pizza. I think it's different if I'm a regular,
like uber Hits Order or something, and then I sometimes
I have gotten a message from people to work at those.
I like, you get that past a lot. Yeah, I do,
I do. It's not yeah, I don't think there's I've
(14:51):
never been a regular at a coffee shop because I
just make coffees at home like someone intends to get
them out. But I definitely have been regulars at bars,
and I actually quite enjoy it because they always give
me free drinks.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
This is great. You can become royalty there and as
can you at a cat.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
I was fucking no. I I'll never say that I
was royalty. But there was a bar, my favorite bar
in the fucking world. I'm actually not going to tell
you guys, because last time I did that now I
can't even get a resume. But my favorite bar I
used to go to all the time. They would like
move people, they had like a lot. It wasn't because
of social media or anything. It was just because I
went there so much. I had some of some friends
that were similar, like they just knew them and would
(15:28):
always help us therefore.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
Get tables, so you kept them afloat.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
Yeah, and they'd like full like move people off the
table sometimes. And I fucking loved it, Like I could
go there whenever, and I went there fucking three times
a week, like if I was ever getting drinks before anything,
that was where I was going.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
I woke up the other day, I'm out in front
the chit goes, can I have your idea? I'm like,
excuse me, like I hadn't seen it before, and obviously
now they're checking id's that's fine whatever, Like I didn't mind.
But then there's the guy that was always helping me.
It doesn't work there anymore. Now I can never get
a table, and I'm so sad because I'm like, that
was my favorite bar right now I don't have one.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
You're back to the bottom line.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
I'm back to the bottom of the barrel. And I'm like,
I actually put in grunt work to get that status there.
I drank so much at your permoise and you're not
giving me a table, And.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
It does go beyond just buy like I put.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
On and I knew all the stuff, Like I like,
like I didn't know all the stuff. I just like
I was always there and I always bring people there,
and I'm like, I loved the vibe and the energy there,
and now I'm like, I actually can't get a table there,
and I'm like, that's fine, Like I'm not It's what
I believe me when I say I do not mean
this in any way that it's like I have an
Instagram following and that's why they gave me a table.
It was more just that I went there so much
(16:38):
that I knew some people there and they would always
help me get the table because like they knew me.
But yeah, I don't think he works there anymore. And
now they always ask for my idea and they make
me put my name down and I'm like, so, i
haven't been there in like four weeks now, and I'm
planning on going tomorrow, okay with Cara and Silk. And
(16:59):
by the time this comes out, some of you will
be listening fucking pray for me that I'm sitting at
that bar with a fucking wine in my hand, because otherwise, actually, otherwise,
what what do I can to do?
Speaker 1 (17:11):
I'll just fucking drink on my bedroom.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Anything to give. We'll see how we go, but I'll
update you on whether I can get a table. It's
just like the problem with the places I end up
always liking is that you can't book. If I could book, great,
there would be no fucking issue. But I can't book
at this place. So it's like you just kind of
have to hope and pray. But it's going to be
a Thursday tomorrow, so I'm like, maybe I can go
sit down, make some connections with the new staff and
(17:36):
build up my report again.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
And before we get into advice, yeah, lad's finish on
a beautiful listener. Hear me out and it's a couples
that post a lot together. Something seems sus they're not happy.
They're not.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
I actually really agree with you. I think it also, however,
plays across in two people. I think people that feel
the need to regularly post saying how happen they are
there's something going on beyond the surface, Like I almost
think it's a way to brag, but it's only really
benefiting them because we're all like, do you need to
tell us you're happy every five minutes? If you actually are.
(18:12):
It's different going like I've hit a really good spot
in my life, I'm feeling really good and leaving it
at that. But if you need to post multiple times
a fucking week saying that your life's incredible now, it's like,
are you actually fucking happy? Because why do you need
to tell us? It annoys me And I think it's couples.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Of the same. Yeah. I think it's a big reassurance thing,
especially for like couples, and it always seems like there's
one in the partnership that is like lasting so much more.
I was saying to you that I've been with my
boyfriend for almost four years now and he's made it
on like one of myne of your clothes, Yeah, and
like one of my girlfriends was like, girl, you're acting
like you're fucking single. Yeah. No, I'm just not truthfully
(18:46):
that happy with any of the photos we have. Yeah,
And it's not necessary, No, But I've never felt like
I'm missing out on anything not sharing him.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Yeah. Bear in mind, though, like people posting their partner
is not an issue at any means. I think there's
a certain way that they post it, which I think
most of you listening will probably understand. I don't really
know how to describe it, but you can kind of
just see.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
I can describe it like if you're.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
Going to an event and you're posting your partner. Great,
But it's like there's a certain I think it's more tiktoks,
i'd say, than Instagra.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
Yeah, or the anniversary one. It's like, dear Joe, we
traveled mountains together. Yeah, speaks with Truss.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
Like, what are you talking about?
Speaker 1 (19:23):
We're not across your fucking shit.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
But now we know you've had some troughs, so tell
us you're in one now. Yeah. I think I wonder
whether there's someone like, for example, so Sofi doofha. I
think she obviously has done a really good job at
keeping a new relationship quite private, and I think that's
completely fair enough and understandable considering the amount of public
(19:45):
opinion that.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
Her last time just interest.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Yeah, so I completely understand it, and I really I
do respect it. I don't I'm not saying that people
that post their partners it's a bad thing by any means.
I wonder I'm on sure as to what I will
do with my next relationship and whether I'll be posting
my partner. But I definitely like, my whole intention is
to have a partner that doesn't have anything to do
with social media, Like it's happy to maybe be in
(20:08):
mine or but I want them to have like their
own job, their own career, and not like start. You know,
sometimes partners can gain followings due to their partners, you
know what I mean, and then start getting their own
brand deals. Obviously, that's whatever anyone wants to do. Like
I'm not judging anyone. I'm more saying what I would want.
I wouldn't want it to be like that.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
It would just hard, it'd be hard to trust.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Because then you're doing brand deals together and stuff. I
then think it also becomes a work thing, and I'm like,
I want, I do really want my partner to be
my private partner this time, because it's like I really
hope that my next person is my person, you know,
twenty five now, it would be a nice time to
maybe meet the guy that I'm then going to like
date for a couple of years and then marry. I'm
(20:49):
gonna find him in New York on Wall Street. Apparently
this may be an untrue fact, but my friend Annabelt
always says it, and like I actually I probably need
a fact check it Approximately one in every twenty four
York City residents are millionaires, which is pretty fucking good.
But I just think, I don't know, there's something about
the fact that I've decided I'm going to New York
next year. My plan is like three months, then Europe
(21:11):
then three months, so all up, I'll probably be away
for like seven or eight I know, but I'm like,
fuck finding a man here. Like I'm just like, I
really feel like New York's going to be so good
for me in the sense I do feel very stagnant
in my life right now. Like my life is incredible
and I'm so grateful for it, but I think there's
something about seeing so many people around you in love
(21:32):
and like I'm like, I just want something different. Like
what I'm living and what I'm experiencing right now is
not bad, it's amazing, and I'm so incredibly lucky to
have it. But I'm like, I'm young and i'm single,
and I can like right now, do you know what
I mean? There's nothing holding me back from doing it,
and I'm like, I really feel like maybe I'll meet
my man there and if one of don'ty Borrow's a millionaires.
I'm just going to walk up and down Wall Street
(21:52):
in a cute little dress.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
You don't need to pay for accommodation, Go up and down.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
It made me like I was these videos the other
day and it actually made me like a really hopeful
for love. And I it was a girl called Grace
Beverly and she's just gotten married and she posted a
video talking about her wedding mows and it's her obviously
talking to her partner, and they're quite long. They were
so beautiful that I actually cried and I was like,
(22:19):
I mixed, how excited for a love like that? And
she said she's from London. She met her partner he
lived in New York and that's why I'm like, I
could meet a man like that. This is my plot,
do you know what I mean? And she says the
most beautiful things, like one of her lines, she was like,
my heart feels safer in your hands than in my
own body. And I'm like, I actually wrote that down,
like I have a little like fucking wedding mao, like
(22:41):
dot points just to like inspire me for my own
wedding one day. But if you want a little it
just made me excited. It actually made me hopeful and
like not sad, like not jealous, Like, yes, I'm jealous.
He looks incredible and she looks so happy and they
both seem like a perfect fucking couple. But she doesn't
like blast him all over her feet either. And I
think that's tied into like what we were saying earlier,
(23:02):
that there's something weirdly sus about couples that feel the
need to put each other online all the time.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
Yeah, and I understand some people might feel weird about
wedding content, but I just find weddings like inspiring and beautiful.
This is what I want.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
And it's like even being single, like there is an
aspect of like, oh I want that, but I'm like,
I'm gonna get that, you will, And like hearing how
much how safe and loved that girl felt like it
just made me so excited to get that myself. And
like I've refused to accept anything less like and I
was like, oh, you're so picky. I've been single for
four years. I'm like, I've been through two really hard
relationships and I'm going to be that way because I
don't want to do that heartbreak again. Absolutely, you know,
(23:38):
so I will wait, and you know, maybe a man
in New York will sweep me off my feet, and
I hope so I feel it in my bones. A
million A millionaire one would be nice, but I do
feel it in my bones that maybe I'll meet someone
over there that's going to be my person, which is
weird because Americans didn't think, but not that I say,
I didn't think, like it's already fucking happened, but I
(23:58):
really anyway, I'm just being hopeful and I'm manifesting this
for myself. And if you want something to manifest for
that checks video. The vowels are really really fucking beautiful
and I would recommend. All right, guys, So what we're
doing this week, we're calling it help me Out. I know,
we did a lot of dilemmas back in the day
on the Just for Girls account and I love doing
that and I wanted to do something similar here, but
(24:19):
we needed a funky, cool name for it. I came
up with it. She did, I did? I told you,
no one knows, and I'm like, I never come up
with anything creative, which is why why West I'm saying
that with such like I came up with it. Like
a brat, but I usually like handball. All my fucking
creative needs off to blake. And I was like, well
it's called hear me out. Let's do help me out.
(24:41):
So we've gotten some dilemmas from you guys, and we're
going to be going through them and I can't wait.
So we're going to be getting into your problems instead
of mine. Let's go, all right, help me out. Earlier
this year, I got out of a long term, three
and a half year relationship after finding out my boyfriend
had been cheating on me. I hate men. Why do
they suck? Feel's sister? But boys suck? Men are wonderful
(25:05):
and we'll find one. It's been a long year with
a lot of growth and personal development, and honestly, I'm
doing well now. Being single has been such a new experience.
Though with the extra time on my hands, I got
involved in my local football club, helping out. I know
you're probably thinking, but honestly, it's been so fun. Bro.
If I could become a fucking what are they? Oh
(25:26):
my god, what a boy? No? Yes, but the people
that massage the football at a local football club, like
for my first like job or something that would be
so fun like, I would love that. I totally get
why you've done it. The boys have all been so
lovely to me, treating me like a little sister. It's
(25:46):
been nice being around guys who are kind and not slimy. Anyway,
here's my conundrum. There's one guy I just can't help
but have a crush on, sister. Why else you work
at a local football club. It's where you pick your man.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Are you coming here for work? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (25:59):
Come on, he's attractive. We get along so well, but
all the other guys are strictly friendship vibe, so I
can't tell if he feels the same towards me or
if he's just being friendly like they are. I think
maybe because I'm attracted to him, I'm reading into things.
I also feel like my radar with this stuff is
so off, and it's been a while since I've been
back in the game. So my question is, how do
I figure out if there's something more? How do I
(26:19):
make it clear if there's anything more without ruining the friendship.
There's definitely been flirty moments, lots of eye contact, but
I feel so out of my depth. Any advice would
be amazing. That's on the success of the podcast. You're
the best, Thanks, honey, all right, I don't think you
read things wrong. I think if there's that eye contact
and that flirty vibe there generally is especially if you
don't feel like you're getting that anywhere else. I think
(26:41):
he's probably feeling very similarly to you, where all that
eye contact and those flirty vibes is his way of
figuring out whether you're interested, because you also are there
with a whole bunch of other guys that he might
be like. Maybe she likes one of them. So I
think hopefully you're already following him on Instagram. I would
say step one is following him on Instagram. Step two
(27:02):
is reply to one of his stories and get a
conversation going that way, and if he continues to ask
you questions. I think it's an easy way to tell
is if a boy is continuing the conversation through asking
you questions, meaning they want to keep it going, Whereas
if they kind of reply something short that ends it,
then leave it there. But I'd say just reply to
(27:24):
his stories. Don't like his stories because a lot of
people don't see story likes. I think they're basically pointless. Yeah,
I'd say try and get a convot going through a
follow and a story reply and see that way, and
then it's like, if he's giving you nothing back, great,
you were just being friendly And I don't think the
friendship will be ruined through that. But I think that's
(27:44):
a good way to gauge interest, is by starting a
conversation like that. Hear me out. I've been with my
boyfriend for almost a year. He's the sweetest, kindest guy.
I truly can't fault him. He treats me like a princess.
Luck you nah, good on you, girl, I'm sure you
deserve it. Prior to being with him, I was on
and off with a girl I never labeled my sexuality
(28:06):
because she's the only girl I've ever liked. She was toxic,
had no drive in life, and was quite the opposite
of me. My issue is I can't stop thinking about her.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
Girl.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
I will start, I will before I finish this. I
will start by saying that toxicity gets your adrenaline up
and it like makes you excited. But it's like you'd
almost like those butterflies that people always say, like when
you're with someone that is toxic, you get these butterflies
and excitement but it's like that's not true love. Love
is like safe and calm, and it's like, I think
(28:37):
that's why you're thinking about her because you have all
this like adrenaline an emotion when you think about her
because of everything you went through with her. But that
doesn't know. I'm gonna say right now, I'm gonna I
hope this doesn't end with anything bad. But you are
not no this girl. You don't ever want to be
with someone with no drive anyways, No, okay, I'll continue,
(28:58):
No yever. I see her at our sports club. It's
unintentionally flirty. A few months ago, she told me she
feels the same way, and I'm still in her mind
and even admitted that I'm the best kiss she's ever had.
She's been in a relationship since with the vibe is
still there. No, no, no, again. I don't speak to
her now, but the season is over, so I won't
see her again. But she's still on my mind. What
(29:19):
do I do? My boyfriend is an angel, Everything aligns.
He's so driven. I can't get her out of my head. Yeah, no, sorry,
I think that's just gonna take some time. You know,
it was my exos. There's still moments where sometimes something
will remind me of them and they get in my
head like they were very toxic, and it takes a
really long time for me to get over it because
of all those intense highs and intense lows. And that's
(29:42):
probably something you experienced with this girl. But the right
person will never make you feel those intense lows, you know,
So no, stay with your angel boyfriend. That girl seems
like bad fucking news. And I think the moment you
end up with your boyfriend to be with her, she'd
end up fucking you over again, and then you may
struggle to get your amazing partner. So I'm just going
to say get over it in the kindest way possible.
(30:04):
I know it's hard, but I believe that you're with
a guy that's amazing.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
So I'm just going to quickly jump in there, go on.
Since we're watching the Summer I turned pretty yes, do
you think she can be with him while still having
this other girl in her head?
Speaker 2 (30:18):
I think she can get over it. I understand it's hard,
and I think there's always that thing of what if
and the people you can't have you are almost weirdly
drawn to more A lot of the time. Yeah, but
there's a reason you love the person you're with, and
there's a reason you're with that person, you know.
Speaker 1 (30:32):
I think we should acknowledge that maybe there's.
Speaker 2 (30:35):
Maybe he's not the guy for you if you're thinking
about someone else. But I definitely don't think that girl's
the girl for you either.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
Yeah, And I think it's just like obviously so very
different between a girl and the guy, Like they're very
different relationships. It might just be something that she's working
through as well.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
Yeah, you know, maybe it's, you know, kind of showing
you that you may your sexuality, you may be by
or something. But I don't think that girl is a
person for you.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
And I think a healthy boyfriend would be way better
for you to navigate your sexuality than an unhealthy girlfriend.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
Yeah, you know what I mean totally. And yeah, maybe
you're wondering. I may mean that he isn't the guy,
but I definitely don't think she is either. Good luck.
I feel like that is a hard thing to think about,
but I feel like if you are in a happy relationship,
like navigate it with him. Hiz. He loving your podcast.
(31:27):
I've been supporting it for the past three years and
look forward to it every week. This stuff is so
nice here. I think you guys under ustmate. Putting that
like a little bit in like makes me so happy.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
And can I add just on like play ground end,
We're just sitting here and I like editor when I
get back to the office, so like there's not much interactions.
Like hearing out stuff is really sweet.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
Yeah, it's so lovely. Something I'm really struggling with is
finding solid friends in my twenties. I've graduated school a
few years ago, and I feel like my friends have
outgrown each other. I honestly feel so lonely. I work
a nine to five Monday to Friday, and once the
weekends come up, feels like every day is the same.
I'm very lucky to have my boyfriend. He's been so
supportive of me, but I still wish I had some
good girlfriends. Sometimes I overthink and tell myself I should
(32:08):
be grateful for what I've got. But this has really
bothered me the past two years, and they don't know
who to talk about it anymore. How do I stop
this constant thought? I have every day love you so much.
I want to give good advice, but I think I
have been lucky that I did a lot of sports,
and I had a lot of friends through that, and
I did change friendship groups in when I was I
(32:33):
think nineteen or twenty actually, and it was just through
one girl that I really really liked and she then
kind of introduced me to everyone, and I'm now like
really close with now. I'd say, even having your partner
is amazing, and that's so nice to have such a
crutch like that. But even if he has friends that
maybe have other partners and you can kind of get
(32:53):
close to his his friend's girlfriends and his friend's partners
and stuff like that is a nice way to make friends.
And then I think even just having finding maybe one
girl like that, she might have a whole other group
of friends, and then you end up finding through those
groups the people that you connect to more. And I
think it almost grows like a tree, like the branch
(33:14):
has kind of come off, and you find like different
groups through that, or you could maybe join I know,
my mum's started joining hottery classes and she has pickleball
and stuff and she's made new friends from there. I
don't know if like hobbies like that is something you'd
be interested in, but little things like that where you
can find like like minded girlfriends and even if, like
I said, just one can lead to a whole different
(33:36):
group of friends that you end up becoming really close with.
It's not easy, and I think there's so many people
struggling with that that even if you reach out to
people online like they might be feeling the exact same
and it could be the start of something like an
amazing friendship. But yeah, it's definitely not something that you're
alone in.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
I'm just going to jump in clean. Recently, I always
say recently, but it's been two years now, but I
moved from Sydney to Melbourne.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
Yeah, how did you go with that?
Speaker 1 (34:05):
I it's really funny because everyone said that Sydney is
a clique place, whereas I much find Melbourne to be clickie. Yeah,
I think it's a big It is clique. It's a
big country town in a way. Sydney is a lot
more international and there's people from all different areas where
I feel like a lot of people in Melbourne Melbourne centric,
Like even on nights out, I met a lot of
my friends in Sydney on the dance was in the area,
(34:28):
you know, Whereas in Melbourne people go out in their
set established groups. It's not much wriggle room. The boyfriend
point is really great. I moved. My boyfriend was originally
from Melbourne, who had a lot of Melbourne friends. Now
I catch up with some of his girlfriends and he
doesn't even know about it. Yeah, I'm actually going to
a concert in November with some of his girlfriends. He
didn't even get an invite. Yeah, so that's an easy way. Work. Easy, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
Work. It's like, is there any even like maybe one
girl you like from work you can go with a
couple of her friends, and it's like, you never know,
one of her friends might become your new best friend.
Like I feel like you can't almost need to pull
on the connections you have with other people in a
sense sometimes And like I went out with my friend
Angel the other day. She brought a couple girls she
knew from work, and then I feel like I'm friends
(35:12):
with them now too. Yeah you know, so, Oh it's
definitely not easy, but it comes to just a point of yeah, whoever,
bring whoever, like, kind of try and make the circle
you're meeting with wider.
Speaker 1 (35:24):
Yeah, And I think just like kind of removed this
seeing of friendships in your twenties and how important they
are and what it should look like, because I.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
Don't think I was having a partner in your twenties
also something that's amazing, and it's like that's something that
I'm struggling to find myself. So it's like we've each
got maybe one of the two, do you know what
I mean? So it's yeah, I wish I could give
more solid advice or maybe how I did it. But
I think because yeah, I'm actually not friends with really
anyone that I went to school with anymore, I'm I'm lucky.
(35:53):
I have a legro who I've known since I was
a kid, and then my friend Georgie kind of introduced
me to the group I'm in now. So I have been,
I guess, blessed in the fact that I am able
to find friends. I don't even know if maybe you
have a sibling like I now consider a lot of
my sister's friends my friends through going out with her
and her girlfriend. So maybe if you have a sibling
(36:15):
or even a brother that has girlfriends and you're a
similar age, that might be somewhere you can start as
well and just putting a bit more effort into those
relationships as well.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
Yeah, and like you don't have to. You don't have
to be the first one to meet someone that owned
a friendship. Like one of my girlfriends she's just moved
to Europe. I actually met an amazing group of girls
at her farewell and we got along like a house
on fire. We're going to catch up in a few months.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
Yeah, I just come. I think it also comes to
putting in effort, Like if you meet someone at something
like that, message them, follow it up, you know, try
and establish a friendship there, because I feel like you
would meet a lot of people you know around but
you would just think, oh, they were a really nice girl.
But like that's just all they is. Follow it up. Yeah,
you know, put yourself out there. And I know that's
a lot easier said than done, but I feel like
(37:00):
there's no harm in giving it a go. All right,
help me out. One of my close friends has an
obsession with my boyfriend. Bruh. I've experienced this. They ended
up sleeping together behind my back. That was really fun. Luck,
So let's get into it. She touches him inappropriately, constantly
texts him, always talks about him all the time, invites
(37:23):
him to her house. No, no, No, No, he's always
trying to hang out with him, even one on one.
These are all like red flags this girl is not
your friend. You should not be friends to that.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
Like.
Speaker 2 (37:35):
No, I've told her so many times to back off,
and she does, but only for a few days. No.
I actually can't stand the fucking So. The challenging thing
about this stuff is you cannot control a anyone.
Speaker 1 (37:48):
No.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
You can tell them again and again and again that
you do not appreciate something and you do not like it,
but you cannot stop them from doing it.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
And there's a bit of personal pr in it. We
don't want to come across so satic and be like
fucking miss fuck off. Yeah, you know see, you kind
of have to go about it respectfully for your own But.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
Then it's like they think you're a doormat, so they
just go you know what, I'd rather deal with a
little talking too from Betsy and keep talking to John. Yeah,
fuck off. I hate girls like this. I actually will
say that I hate girls that don't respect boundaries of
other people's relationships. My boyfriend thinks they're just friends. Well,
your boyfriend needs to pull his head out of his ass,
because this girl's acting in appropriately and it started to
(38:29):
back away because of how uncomfortable I am. That is good. Still,
she doesn't take the hint. I don't really speak to
her anymore. I'll just say hi if I see her.
But she's in the same friendship group as me, so
I can't fully avoid her. She truly drives me insane
and has caused so many arguments in my relationship. I
don't know what to do. I don't look. I think
it's great that your boyfriend backs off. I think your boyfriend.
(38:50):
I think because she's not listening to you, your boyfriend
actually probably needs to set a boundary in a sense
now out of respect for you, not respond if she
texts him, not ever hang out one on one with her. Yes,
it's like not ideal that this girl is causing arguments
or getting involved, but it now becomes a point where
you kind of need to set some sort of boundary
(39:11):
with her because she's not listening to you. So, yeah,
your boyfriend seems like he's willing to make those changes
to keep you happy. Just later on the law, don't
text her, don't respond her, Like I just think the
boundary has been crossed, and it's like, this is kind
of the only solution now, especially if she is in
your friendship group, cut the bitch off.
Speaker 1 (39:30):
I find the theme with the this happens a lot.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
It happens a fucking Also the amount of fucking submissions
we get about shit like this, and it drives me
up the wall because I've had a similar experience and
there was so little I could do to prevent it
whilst all trying to keep the peace, and then I
would lose my shit and everyone would be like, what
is he doing? Like I'd say, if people look back
(39:55):
on who I was in my first relationship, or is
he with a psycho? Psycho? That's all I get. I'm like,
the combination of having a friend like that and having
a boyfriend who wasn't loyal to me and didn't listen
to me like your boyfriend at least seems to be
doing made me fucking crazy And like, no, I don't
think that's who I am. I definitely don't think that's
who I'm going to carry into my next relationship. But like,
(40:17):
I got so down on myself because of how people
made me feel. I think you're allowed to have boundaries,
You're allowed to feel threatened by someone that's fucking actively
trying to get with your partner, you know. And you're
not crazy for laying down the law, you know. And
I don't handle it how I did.
Speaker 1 (40:33):
But and it's nice to see some onus on the guy. Yeah,
and I'm glad this guy is stepping up because every
time it comes into our inbox. For example, I know
female friendships are very complicated and sticky, but it's like
it almost becomes this thing that the two women need
to figure out. Yeah, it's like, hey, no, he has responsiblity.
Speaker 2 (40:51):
Yeah, because I think a lot of the ones we
get is that her boyfriend the partner will be like, oh,
he thinks they're just friends, and he doesn't. He thinks
I'm being insane. So at least you're partners. Hearing you
is uncomfortable gets it. If he's uncomfortable, great, he needs
to lay something down and boundaries himself then, you know,
because I am sure if it was his friend, you
would do that and be just you just probably wouldn't
(41:13):
reply if his friend texted you, And I think he
needs to start doing stuff like that. She'll get the
hint eventually, like if she thinks there's no inn and
it's an unbreakable fucking wall that she can't penetrate. She
will start so create that wall. Guys, don't let her
fucking any any.
Speaker 1 (41:29):
Build it, build it.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
Build that wall. We're not Trumpies, Oh my god, no no, no,
no Trump. I'll throw Trump over a fucking wall. Hey, guys,
that was today's episode. We have so many other dilemmas,
so if yours didn't get read out tonight, we will
listen to your help me out on next week's episode
for a part two. But I love you, and thank
(41:51):
you and thanks all the little messages. They mean so
much to me. And I feel like side note, even
starting like I would call this my business. I guess
in a sense, I know it's not like your average business,
but I think I always was so down on myself
onto whether I could do something on my own, because
I've always called myself really lazy, you know, just like
(42:12):
I never had much drive. So I feel like now
creating this, I feel like it's become something now and
I just even feel like I'm really proud of myself
for being able to do it on my own. And
I'm not even on my own, like soe, I fucking
write hand mat, But I just want to thank you
guys all for the support, because I couldn't and wouldn't
be able to do it without you guys listening every
week and tuning in and sending me in all your stuff.
(42:33):
So thank you. I'm very very grateful and I love
you on other seaty next week. Hi,
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