November 24, 2025 • 44 mins
Welcome back to Hotter Than Yesterday! Today, I'm joined by one of our strongest (and hottest) guests, Sara Messy originally from MAFS. We pondered whether we should even include MAFS in the title as Sara is so much more than her appearance on that show, but her story is so much bigger and you'll soon find out why. Sara has so generously opened up about her breakup from her on-and-off again ex of 10 years. Sara outlines the timeline, how it clashed with her time on the show and the ultimate betrayal that she wants to warn all women about. We are so grateful to Sara for opening up about her experience and can't wait for nothing but success to follow her after years of pain. We love you Sara xxx
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Hotter than Yesterday.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Thanks for coming on, Thanks for having me.
Speaker 3 (00:04):
We're in Sydney at the moment, and I think you
guys may know Sarah.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Of course you know Sarah. She was from Maths.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
I look a little different now.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
You do.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
I was doing a bit of research this morning and
I was like, you literally have like blonde bomb.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Yeah, like blonde Bob.
Speaker 4 (00:20):
I was a little bit like heavier as well, like
just completely different.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
And what year was Maths?
Speaker 2 (00:26):
It was two years ago?
Speaker 3 (00:27):
Now? Wow?
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Does it feel like ages ago?
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Ages?
Speaker 4 (00:30):
Like I feel like I wasn't even on it, like
it was like a lifetime ago.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Wow. Yeah, so you were I watched the season of Masks.
Speaker 4 (00:37):
I'm the lover of Masks, Like I still watch it.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Yeah, of course.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
It's just like there's so much tea, there's so much
on everything. But I feel like it's such a highly
produced show.
Speaker 4 (00:48):
Yeah, absolutely compared to like other reality TV's like Love
Island and stuff.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
Yeah, because like you always know that the cameras around,
like all those cameras in your face, yeah right where
I was like in like Love Island, they're like everywhere.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
Yeah, It's like I guess like when you kind of
look at maths. If we're not actually speaking the words
most of the time, is probably not us, Like, it's
probably just something something that we said like at one point,
but they clip it into another part to make it
the narrative.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
Yeah, and so because you lived in those apartments for
seven days straight, were you recording every day?
Speaker 2 (01:22):
No Monday to Friday.
Speaker 4 (01:23):
So we had Saturday Sundays off, but we had curfew
every day. So Monday to Friday was nine pm curfew.
So if we were to finish like filming out like
seven we'd have like a couple hours or whatever, but
we get like miked up first thing in the morning,
and we're pretty much miked up for the whole day.
We'll get like a lunch break and like little breaks
in between, but pretty much filming the whole day. It's
(01:44):
like ten hour days. And then Saturday Sunday we had
them off. But we had like a producer that lived
on the floor and basically anything that we did had
to go through him.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
And also to.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Tell you, like I want to go to the cafe, yeah,
you'd have to tell him.
Speaker 4 (01:57):
You couldn't just leave because sometimes like more than one
person would want to leave at the same time, and
then they'd be like, well, we know you're going to
meet up, so like we won't let this many people
out at the same time.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
But were you allowed to go to each other's room?
Speaker 4 (02:09):
No, we weren't allowed to hang out outside of like
cameras in front of us technically, like we weren't, but
we did, like some people did, Like Lauren and I hung.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Out all the time.
Speaker 4 (02:18):
Yeah, yeah, Like but like a lot of times, like
they would catch on to it and they wouldn't let
you leave. Like at one point they were like, you're
not leaving because we know Lauren's and I was like
I'm leaving, Like I.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Literally was like, you can't not make me leave, Like.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
It's like your full like Sims character, it's so bizarre.
Speaker 4 (02:33):
Yeah, it was the weirdest time of my life. Like genuinely,
when I think about it now, I'm like, that was
so weird.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
And how long is recording you to go for six weeks?
Speaker 4 (02:42):
It's three months? Yeah, oh shit, three months.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
So we're out of work for three months. You're out
of doing everything the three months.
Speaker 4 (02:48):
Everything, and it's just like you're in this like maths
bubble where it's all you think about all you talk about.
So when people are like, oh my god, is it real,
Like is the Joba real, I'm like yes, because it's literally.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
Yeah, no wonder everyone goes batshit crazy and it literally
does bring out like probably the worst side and more
patience by the end.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
No, absolutely, And also you're just like emotionally manipulated by producers,
so like at the end of it, you're like, oh,
is that like was what they said? Like does that
mean something? And then you start thinking overthinking things. You go,
something's gonna happen at this dinner party, and then you
get there and everything's all heightened and it's just like
they know, yeah, it was awful.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
And how is your mental health after it? Then when
you returned back to like a normal life bad Like
I think.
Speaker 4 (03:34):
It was pretty much like at its peak when I
first came off the show. Yeah, to be honest, like,
I think when you're like not used to it, Like
I think you've been in the scene for a while,
so you get you know, you're used to the hate,
and like at first it probably sucks, but now you're
probably just like conditioned. Right, Yeah, at first I was like,
oh my god, this is so terrible, Like these people
are saying the most horrible things to me, Like I
was getting death threats, Like yeah, the first one I
(03:56):
remember getting was like this guy being like, if I
ever see you on the streets, I'm going to bash your.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Skull in And I was like.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Oh my god, like I'm terraking.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
Older people who watch like TV on like Channel nine,
they are more brutal.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Yeah, the Facebook pages and.
Speaker 4 (04:11):
Forms like everything, and they're like they get so invested
into it because it's like a marriage, So.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
They go, this is a marriage. Anything that you do
is so wrong.
Speaker 4 (04:21):
And everyone lives in their glasshouses and you're like everyone
said third pretending like they're so perfect. Like what you're
seeing is like just the heightened version of probably reality.
But like that's not how it pans out usually, right.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
Yeah, So how long before when you wrapped up filming?
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Did it?
Speaker 1 (04:37):
Then you can the public saw it.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
So we wrapped up in October and then it doesn't
play till February, right, Yeah, so a few months where
you have to kind of like lay low and not
really tell anyone anything, and then you watch it at
the same time as everybody else.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Oh no, I couldn't do that.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
Yeah, I remember watching it, like being like I didn't
say that, yeah, and you just want to go and
or like you want to go on your Instagram, I'd
be like, just clearly clear care because you're locked down it.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
So I think that's why we've pulled you.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
I've put pulled you on today because I was a
lover of Maths, and I think by in the little
bit you were kind of a bit of a villain
in the nicest way possible.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
I know if I were to Maths.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
I would be a villain too, Like, I think you're
such a big personality, You're such a kind, outgoing person
that then it's easy to manipulate you because you say
a lot.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
And I talk a lot. Yeah, exactly. They have a
lot of footage.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
So it's like you're easy to mix up and jump.
And you were married to Tim Y Tim, And there
was a bit of drama that went on in the in.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
The series's a lot of drama.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
There was a bit of drama that went on in
the show at a point where you met up with
your ex. A lot of drama in the drama, and
everyone was like, you're the worst person in the world.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
You're a cheetah, disgusting which is not fair at all,
and we do not condone that behavior.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
No.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
But then a couple of months ago, yeah, we're just now.
Yeah you came out on your TikTok and you're like,
I'm done.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
Yeah, I'm done protecting him, Like I think for the
longest time I was.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
I protected him because I thought we were going to
be together.
Speaker 4 (06:10):
And initially, yeah, like I sat in front of the
show and I lied to everyone because I was dealing
with a really toxic, narcissistic.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Ex in the background.
Speaker 4 (06:19):
I didn't know how to deal with it because it
was obviously super unexpected that he came back into my
life at a really shitty time, as they do.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Times.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
He knew that I was going on a show, found
out and decided to text me and come back into
my life, and that really fucked with my head. I
really kind of tried with timor like I did, really
really try, but I think in the background he was
always just one hundred.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
Percent, you know, one hundred percent, And when you have
someone like always like breadcrumbing you, it's so so hot.
And you then went on a whole show in front
of the whole nation, yea worldwide actually, because everyone loves
it worldwide to protect this man. And then two years
after you've just capted slack up to slack up to
(07:01):
slack so this man that you thought that was going
to be your partner and you then had enough one day, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
I just had enough. I was like, well I knew
at that point.
Speaker 4 (07:09):
Basically I came out with it because I got the
hay girly text or message DM.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
So maybe for no one who's seen the tiktoks, because
I know all of them, I've watched them, give a
little bit of context to people that might not have
seen that.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
Okay, So basically, a few months ago, I got a
message from a girl on Instagram and she was like,
she had been following along my tiktoks and I had
been posting a few like breakup stuff like really sad,
like narcissistic.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
Harsh, like voice memo in the background, like the songs
aimed at them.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Yeahah yeah exactly, so I think.
Speaker 4 (07:45):
And she kind of had an inkling because like Perth
is quite small excess from Perth, and she had asked
around about this guy that she started dating, and everyone
was like, oh have you never heard, like he had
an affair with the girl from maths because he was
dating a girl in Perth for like four years, and
the whole story was like that he had an affair,
Like I wouldn't necessarily call it an affair, but we
(08:07):
were on and off for ten.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Years, like it was it was a law.
Speaker 4 (08:11):
Like there was times where he was with her that
I don't know if like he was telling me like
the wrong thing and like we would you know, reminisce
and hook up or kiss or whatever it may be. Anyways,
she confronted him and was like, are you seeing this girl?
Did this actually happen? Of course, he denied, and I
denied and she just kept tabs. She was like, Okay,
he's denying it, but I'm not really sure. Then one
(08:32):
day she was hanging out with him and he quickly
like looked through his phone and she saw my dog,
Like he accidentally pulled up his pictures and one of
the most recent pictures was my dog. I just got
my dog, like that would have been a very recent thing. Yeah,
And she goes, are you fucking her? And he was
like what She was like, I know that dog. I
(08:52):
follow her on TikTok.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
I know who that is. And I've asked you about
her before.
Speaker 4 (08:56):
You told me that you dated years ago and that
nothing's happened since, but that every now and again you
run into each other in Sydney but nothing happens.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
So why the dog?
Speaker 2 (09:04):
So why the dog?
Speaker 4 (09:05):
And he goes, oh, yeah, I ran into her when
I was in Sydney and she told me she got
a dog and I had to go see the dog.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
And she goes, you had to see the dog? What
did you do?
Speaker 4 (09:16):
And he goes, oh yeah, like what like I went over.
Did you sleep together? No, we didn't sleep together, but
we kissed. I was like, pretty sure we did sleep together.
Pretty sure we were together.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
So that's when I was like, you know, what are
you guys dating at this time?
Speaker 2 (09:30):
We're dating?
Speaker 1 (09:31):
We were back together.
Speaker 4 (09:31):
We were back together, like we got back together. Like
so I ran into him in March and we got
back together. He was like, I'm moving back to Sydney.
You know, things will probably work this time because I'm moving,
We're not gonna be doing long distance, but let's just
like keep things like let's not talk until I'm back basically,
but we started talking like just before what's April? So
like around April we started talking again, like every single day.
(09:54):
He was coming here in May for his birthday, and
I was planning something for his birthday, so we he
got fully back together. Anyways, he was here. That's in
a whole nother stode. But I actually probably fucking I've
said it in the series, like he told me he
was here, he was coming here, but couldn't tell me
what day.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
This is like, yeah, typical.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
And you were like, I want to plan something for
your birthday, Like, can you just tell me what date is?
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Can you just tell me what day so I can
plan something. He's like yea, yeah, honey, I'll do I'll
let you know. I'll let you know.
Speaker 4 (10:21):
And then all of a sudden, he just goes silent,
and I'm like, what happened? And then he starts texting
me again. He goes, oh, sorry, I was on the
plane bub and I was like, where are you? He
goes Brisbane. I was like, Brisbane, okay, Well, can you
tell me when you're in Sydney. He goes, yeah, I'm
just trying to figure out when this dinner's going to be.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
I'll let you know. Five minutes later.
Speaker 4 (10:39):
Into that conversation, he goes, oh, sorry, Sydney, and I
go you're in Sydney.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
He goes, yeah, sorry, sorry, I've just been on the plane.
I'm so tired. I'm like, no, you're not tired.
Speaker 4 (10:48):
You lies were catching up to me exactly, And in
my head, now that I know everything, I'm like, he
was probably talking to another girl and probably got his
lies confused, Like probably was telling another girl like that
he was in Brisbane and telling you know what I mean,
like yes, like.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
And he all caught up to it, all cut up
to it exactly. Yeah I know.
Speaker 4 (11:07):
So then he shows up. We spend that whole week
together that he was here. I took him out for
his birthday, spend all this money on him, introduced him
to a few of my new girlfriends, and then he
goes back to Perth for a couple of weeks.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
And that's when I.
Speaker 4 (11:20):
Was like, okay, it was normal, texting every day. He's
a big Texter twenty four to seven, Like that's how.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
They are, right, does where I have like four phones?
Speaker 4 (11:27):
Oh yeah, two yeah too, but one was his work phone.
Now I'm thinking there was something dodgy going on there.
But twenty four to seven texting me that it was
like when the slightest drop you could feel that there
was something off right.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
He like.
Speaker 4 (11:40):
I remember one day he like like fell off and
I was like, what's going on?
Speaker 2 (11:43):
He goes, sorry, bub fell asleep.
Speaker 4 (11:45):
I'm about to make this pork and funnel pasta with
my mom and I was like, oh nice. Sends me
the recipe and I was like, it looks delicious.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
I'm going to try it this week.
Speaker 4 (11:53):
Anyways, fast forward to when I'm talking to this girl
that DMS me. I was like, can you please search
the day that this poor confedel pasta was being cooked?
Speaker 2 (12:02):
And she sends me the.
Speaker 4 (12:03):
Picture of the pork and fentil pasta and I was
like why, Like you must be kidding, Like, actually.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
Did you ever meet his family? No?
Speaker 4 (12:13):
Never met his family because when we first dated, like
years ago, when he lived here, I was twenty two
and we like dated ver like we were like together,
like he asked me how to be his girlfriend, but
it was so like young and casual. Yeah, and I
lived here and his parents were in perse so he
would just he went home for Christmas and I was
just here, right.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
We were lately separate, they were very separate.
Speaker 4 (12:35):
And then what happened is he moved to Perth and
started dating that girl. Right, So, like in that time
that he was dating that girl, we weren't together, but
we were still catching up and hooking up and you know,
reminiscing and whatever. And then when we got back together,
this was two years ago, now, that was a big
topic of conversation. After like a few months of dating,
I was like, why haven't you introduced me to your mom?
(12:57):
And he was like, you will, you will, you will,
kept like pushing it, pushing it off, and then it
got to a point where I was like, this man's
not serious enough about me, Like there's something going on.
And then that's when the fight started happening and I
started calling him out on his ship and he didn't
like that.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Yeah, so you got back together after maths.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
Yeah, and then you were again on and off for
two years after maths. H and was the girl that
he said that he on maps there was like a
big thing, being like they were broken up there together,
they're not broken up there together?
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Was he over with that girl?
Speaker 4 (13:27):
Back together?
Speaker 1 (13:28):
After math?
Speaker 4 (13:29):
He had broken so that time that me and him
like ended up hanging out on maths, he had broken
up with her already, right, Okay, And he had told me,
like basically the conversation was like when we hung out.
He was like, so we hung out like before that
at once before that, and he that was when he
texted me be like it's your real husband. And I
(13:49):
was like, I'm not coming over. I'm not hanging out
with you guys. He was with a friend that I'm
really close with friends with and they were drunk, and
he was like reminiscing, basically saying to me, like you're it,
like you're the girl that's been consistent in my life
this whole time, and I'm an idiot. It's been right
under my eyes, and I need to break up with
this girl.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
And I was like, well, I'm not doing anything until
you break up with this girl. Anyways, then we hung out.
Speaker 4 (14:12):
That second time was when Eden told everybody at the
dinner party and that time he had broken up with
her and nothing happened. We were out in a bar,
like there was a few of us, like just drinking
and stuff, but of course we were like close, like reminiscing,
like he told me he had broke up and broken
up with her and that you know, things could happen now,
and I was like, well, I'm on this show. Like
I'm not like, I'm not being rash about this decision
(14:35):
because this is so crazy to me that you're saying
everything out of the blue, you know.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Yeah, so I didn't leave.
Speaker 3 (14:42):
Yeah, and you would have been under Like I think
people it's very easy to sometimes go straight to the girl, yeah,
when you're the other woman or everything like that. But
like people need to realize that men have also been
manipulating women. He was manipulating you for.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Years, and he would tell you what you wanted to hear.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
He would give you false sense of hope, but he
knew at the end of the day that you wanted him.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
He knew I was wrapped around his finger, like he knew.
Speaker 4 (15:12):
Because I was so young and impressionable like he was,
I was very easy to manipulate that. And then by
that time I was like wrapped around his finger and
I feel like and he got his friends to do
his dirty work for him too, So every time he
was in Sydney, like all his friends would message me
come to this bar and he'd be there, and so
like it was never him doing the dirty work, you.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Know what I mean, Like it was always his friends
doing it for him.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
So he could go at the same time.
Speaker 4 (15:34):
And go back to his girlfriend and say, oh, she
was just there, like I didn't ask her to be there,
you know, like it was always something like really dodgy
like that. But the thing is is like I wasn't
the other girl. I was the girl before her like
I was.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
It's like god.
Speaker 4 (15:49):
Like, yes, I was the other girl technically while he
was in that relationship, but he was feeding me lies
that made me feel like I wasn't the other girl.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
I was the girl.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
He was living a double lie. He was living in
He had his Perth life and here had he see
her life.
Speaker 4 (16:02):
And it was easy for him because he traveled with work,
so it was easy for him to get away with
absolutely anything. Because Perth and Sydney are very separated. Not
a lot of people know each other really, so he
was walking around freely with me here and walking around
freely with her there.
Speaker 3 (16:20):
So you gotta And so then the hay girlie message
that you got was from then his new a girlfriend
or a girlfriend, but you were still seeing each other
at the same time. He had his double life going on,
and she messaged you saying she was like.
Speaker 4 (16:35):
Hey, babe, I've been following your tiktoks and I just
need to know, like is this guy your ex? And
she named him and I was like yes, why and
she was like I need to call you. And at
this point, I was like on a date with this guy,
like this English guy that I had just met and
like for the first time, had like had the courage
(16:55):
to go back online dating.
Speaker 3 (16:57):
And it was of course when all this was like yeah,
I got like up on hinge and you're like, I'm
time to put myself.
Speaker 4 (17:02):
Out myself out there, and then I ran into him
and it just yeah, it was all a big thing.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Anyways, she called me.
Speaker 4 (17:09):
We spent an hour on the phone exchanging text messages.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
Really, so you were on the date when you got
this message?
Speaker 4 (17:14):
Yeah, And I was like I can't, Like I was
literally like what was a day date? And literally like
was like not present.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (17:21):
I was like I need to go home if Anyways,
when I when I actually got home, we got on
the phone. We're on the phone for an hour exchanging
text messages, exchanging everything, text book narcissistic shit like the Bubba's,
the honeys, the pop the I love yous, the like
(17:41):
just constant twenty four or seven texts the same pictures
he was sending her he was sending me like it
was disgusting. It was actually like like I was shivering,
Like I was like, I cannot believe that this is
happening to me right now.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
And of course, because we were.
Speaker 4 (17:56):
So on and off, like he could easily be like together. Yeah, yeah,
so it was hard for me because I was like, technically, yeah,
but you were still saying you wanted to be with
me in March.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
You were saying that, but you were with her since
in October.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:09):
Like, it's also the feed dripping that's really really hard.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
It's like they give you a.
Speaker 3 (18:13):
Little bit and you don't know when you're gonna get
it next, and then you hold onto that. Yeah, I've
never dated a narcissist, but I like my situationships after that,
Like they feed drip you and it makes that's what
makes you hold on.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
And then they know.
Speaker 3 (18:26):
By giving you that little bit, you can never properly
move on because you're holding out on that.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Hope that that little bit that they gave you will
turn into.
Speaker 4 (18:33):
Totally well, they do that, like I feel like and
the highs and the lows are so addicting, you know,
like that's what I love.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
Is an addiction. It is.
Speaker 4 (18:41):
Yeah, he would sit there and this man would cry
in front of me, You're so amazing, You're so beautiful.
I don't deserve you, Like how does a girl like
you date a guy like me? Like all this crazy shit?
And then would be cooking pasta with this girl while
we were full texting, and then you'd be like, sorry,
(19:02):
I'm just helping mom, like like clean up like the
kitchen or but and like you know, I'm not going
to go into like stuff with his family and stuff.
But there was stuff going on, and he would use
that all the time whenever we fought, and it would
get to the point where it was like I couldn't
get angry at him because he would use that, And
then I have to feel sorry if you feel like
the bad person mentioning anything. It was so manipulative, so controlling,
(19:25):
so toxic. But I loved him like I did, and
it was so hard to get out of it. But
I'm so glad that girl messaged me, because I don't
think I would have ever stopped the cycle.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
And after that, you were like that enough is enough.
I can't go on anymore.
Speaker 4 (19:40):
I couldn't and even though sometimes I'll be honest, like
sometimes I still like miss him, like it's so fucked up,
Like I can sit here and be completely honest with you,
and I think that a lot of people in narcissistic
relationships can resonate. Yeah, it's not just as easy as
like it's over, like I miss him, I miss the
good parts because when it was good, it was so
fucking good, it was amazing.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
It's like the years of your life as well. This
is like this has expanded over ten years, like your
whole adult life pretty much like that's all you know
in your twenties, this is all you know.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
Like breaking that cycle is so so hard.
Speaker 3 (20:15):
And if I would have done the exact same thing
of you, It's like once you posted it online, you're
almost holding yourself accountable to not fall back because you
had you. Every time he messaged you or something you
was giving back. I was there, and I know you
would have probably told yourself that every single time I ended,
You're like, none, this is done again, this.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
Is done for good.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
Come no.
Speaker 4 (20:36):
I lost like my best friend over it because I
kept being like I'm no, I'm not, and then I
wouldn't be like.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
You're so stupid, and I'm like, I know, do you
not think that I know? Do I want to be here? No?
Speaker 4 (20:46):
But I cannot physically get out of this, Like I
feel so attached.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
I can't. It's a trauma bond.
Speaker 4 (20:53):
You form a trauma bond that's so hard to get
out of, and like you just want, like the person
that abuses you, you just want that comfort from that
person and the validation.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
And like, yeah, I just want to know what they're
thinking all the time.
Speaker 4 (21:05):
But I'm so glad that I did it because like
I genuinely like sometimes I'm like.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
Oh, this is so bad, Like it's so hard.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
But like sometimes I'm like, no, you do, and you know,
I mean at an event the other week.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
She's like yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
Sometimes like he's just like really hot, and I'm like,
show me a photo and she shows me, No, he's not.
Speaker 4 (21:29):
You know the best thing about that is that every
time I show a picture of him to my friends,
they go, what what, They're like one.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
Of the hottest people I've ever seen in my life.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
And I thought this man like the stuff I had
heard that you had spoken to me about him, and
like I hadn't seen a photo and I was like
this man has got to be the hottest thing that's
ever walked on the earth with the amount of opportunities
was given him.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
She shows, I'm like, maybe, actually, are you.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Gonna show me?
Speaker 2 (21:59):
Like, oh, friend, and then you're getting there. Oh that's
so funny.
Speaker 4 (22:03):
I mean it's just tall of course, because it's they
it's the hype.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
Yeah, I know.
Speaker 4 (22:10):
But like also just like we did have a lot,
like we were like deeply connected. Like I feel like
we actually had like really good, deep conversations. I'm a
very deep person. I need someone that's going to be
on that level with me. Yeah, And when it was good,
it was like that, but when it was bad, it
was so bad.
Speaker 3 (22:23):
Like and then so when you went through maths and
then all of that stuff happened, and that kind of
then became like a big storyline in the show.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Did you ever explain to Tim like.
Speaker 3 (22:33):
What had been happening or you'd never spoken about your past?
Speaker 1 (22:36):
No, I didn't.
Speaker 4 (22:37):
I briefly mentioned my ex, but I didn't really go
into detail about what happened. And I think that at
that point as well, because we me and my ex
weren't speaking, we decided not to speak basically till the
show was done, I was kind of trying with Tim,
and towards the end you can see that we were
kind of trying, but like as much as I tried.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
We just couldn't get along. Like and I don't know
if he knows now, like Tim and I are blocked,
like he blocked me like ages ago. But I don't
know if he knows anything about it.
Speaker 4 (23:06):
And I would hope that you could see it and
maybe resonate with maybe how I was acting, because I
look back and I genuinely hate how I acted.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
I do, like that's not who I am.
Speaker 4 (23:16):
But I think because I was hiding so much like
I was lying, that it showed in the way that
I was acting, like I was trying so much to
cover up the things that I was doing in the background,
trying to protect what was going on with him and
him that I was acting like such a bitch to Tim,
like it was just yeah, it was, it was bad.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (23:35):
And so has anybody else come out once you posted
this whole series? You obviously got that message from the
hay Giry.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
Oh yeah, And what.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
I'm confused about is why no one came.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
Out about it before? About him?
Speaker 1 (23:48):
Yes, Like, have you ever received another Hay girls.
Speaker 4 (23:52):
So he is so private, Sam, like he and this
is something that I now I'm picking up on all.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
These things right. His Instagram, his profile picture first, he's private.
Speaker 4 (24:02):
His prople picture is a picture of his friend, like
a big close up picture of like one of his friends.
It's not even him. His name on Instagram is not
his name. His Facebook is fully private, like.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Nothing's on it.
Speaker 4 (24:13):
Yeah, like blocked to count yep, blocked to count Like
he is the most private person ever. So it's like
he does. He doesn't post on Instagram or anything, and
that is so that he can get away with that.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
Yeah, so that people, did you ever get upset?
Speaker 1 (24:27):
He never posted you.
Speaker 4 (24:28):
No, because when we got back together, I couldn't post,
you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
So yeah, we kind of And I think that that
was like so good for him.
Speaker 4 (24:36):
He loved it because he could blame it on the
fact that I couldn't post anything because of the show,
or that we had to be secret because of the show.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
And that was so perfect for her pick it up.
Speaker 4 (24:46):
But No, I was never upset because like I couldn't
do it and I didn't want to post him. Yeah,
I didn't want that to get out like for the
longest time, I never thought I was going to tell
this story. I was like, yeah, he's just going to
be a new guy that I met, Like.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
Wow, do you know what I mean refreshing? Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 4 (25:01):
Oh anyway, so yep, no, So you asked me, did
any other girls come forward when I posted those tiktoks?
Speaker 2 (25:08):
I didn't even name him.
Speaker 4 (25:09):
The amount of women that came forward knowing that it
was him is insane, like insane. I had two other
girls that were seeing him at the same time that
told me around the times where they like they were
dating him.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
Same stories.
Speaker 4 (25:23):
He would bring them to his new house that he's
building and say this is going to be our room,
this is going to be our this, calling them bobs,
honey pop, whatever his nicknames are, to all of them,
love bombing them that I love you, she said to
the last girl, he said I love you to her
within like a month of knowing her. Nah, yeah, same shit,
(25:44):
like everything. And then it was so funny because some
some someone made a fake account I think because and
I think it was like one of his excess friends.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
I'm not gonna lie And she.
Speaker 4 (25:56):
Was like, she wrote on my TikTok being like, if
this isn't, I will eat my own heart. She named him,
and then his name started trending on my TikTok.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
Come on, come on, I'm so good.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
I always say, if you don't want a story made
about you, don't fuck me over.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
Don't like you know, like, just don't just be a
good person like.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
You fucked me over.
Speaker 4 (26:18):
It's my story to tell, exactly. And I'm not sitting here.
I wasn't sitting there like I want to hurt him.
I was sitting there like, you've hurt me enough. Because
I'm keeping this a secret. I have ruined my reputation.
I have ruined a lot of opportunities that I could
have had coming off this show being different because of you.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
You ruined that for me, and now I'm not going
to protect you anymore.
Speaker 3 (26:40):
Yeah, And it's like holding him accountable. Absolutely, He's gotten
away for so long, and.
Speaker 4 (26:46):
I'm so sick and tired of men getting away with shit.
They and it's always the like tall ones, the successful ones,
the ones that are like on paper so amazing, that
get away with murder because women look at them and
they go, well, there's so many shit men out there,
I may as well he's this, he's out, and we
kind of put all those things aside, and it's like,
why are we doing this. We're part of the problem.
(27:06):
We need to walk away when it doesn't serve us anymore.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
Yeah, because of all of the people that come forward
and everything like that, I just don't understand why he
got away with it for so.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
Long, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (27:18):
Like, I know another story of this woman that's like
also in the scene and she got cheated on and
stuff like that.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
As women, we all need a band together, and I
like about it, post photos of it. Like isn't there
like a Facebook group chat or something like that.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
It's like, oh my god, I tried.
Speaker 4 (27:33):
They didn't accept my post because now, like men are
so women on that group chat, which is so not okay,
do not do this. But if you put a guy
on there, don't tell the fucking guy. Like apparently there
was women. There was women going telling the guys that
they were on this group chat. So now and then
people were getting sued. So now you need proof, like
(27:54):
actual proof that these men are abusive or cheating or whatever.
And I didn't have any proof of it. The only
proof that I had, well, did I do now. But
at the time, the only proof that I had was
maybe one message where he like agreed with me that
he had cheated on his ex with me, and that
was it.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
They didn't accept my post, so I didn't post it.
Speaker 4 (28:14):
But I do think that, like like in Perth, he
has quite a bad rep.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
So I don't think that. I do think people know
who he is.
Speaker 4 (28:21):
I do think that he has a bit of an
issue now, especially with my videos because a lot of
people have seen them.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
I also got another.
Speaker 4 (28:28):
Hay Girly message yesterday, so they're still coming through. I
got a hay Girly message and she goes ohn she
commented on my TikTok. She goes, I DM do you
And I read it and she goes, hey, babe, thank
you so much for your videos. I was just seeing
him and I ended it with him today because of
your videos.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
Oh so he's fucked with lot.
Speaker 3 (28:47):
Yeah, like you need to like move to Bali or
something like that, just like he's not.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (28:54):
So she broke it off with him basically the same story,
and then she yeah, she texted him and he was like, well,
like what what happened? And she was like, I found
out some things about you that I didn't like and
he's like should I be concerned, acting like he had
no idea?
Speaker 3 (29:08):
You know, mane, you know, you know Australia is a
very very small place in like the whole scheme of things,
like there are so many connections.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
Yeah, he'll never get away with it anyone.
Speaker 4 (29:19):
But I was like, I was like so proud of her.
I was like, she had only been dating him for
three months. But at that point, I'm like, I don't know,
like I'm I feel like kind of dumb that I
seyed for so long.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
But she was like nah, like she's like I.
Speaker 4 (29:30):
Texted him straight away after your series and I was
like I'm done, and I was like good for you,
Like girl, Yeah, so.
Speaker 3 (29:36):
Now you you're like never again, Like never, No, you
cannot ever go back there?
Speaker 2 (29:41):
No?
Speaker 3 (29:41):
Never. How is now dating now? What is your outlook
on it? Do you think you have like a little
bag like damage from that at all? Or are you
like trust is given to proven guilty or I aren't.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
I feel like I've been.
Speaker 4 (29:55):
I feel like I am a little bit traumatized, Like
I didn't think that. I was like I'm always kind
of that person and it's like I'm ready to get
hurt again, like jokingly, but like I'm ready to put
myself out there and like do it all over again.
But I was just seeing someone, and I was seeing
I saw two guys since and both kind of ended
within like a month, so it wasn't very long, and
(30:17):
I kind of realized that I was like the intimacy part.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
Was really weird for me.
Speaker 4 (30:22):
Like I got to a point where I was like,
I don't know, like I just couldn't be intimate, Like
I couldn't do the kissing, I couldn't do the touching.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
Like it felt really weird to me.
Speaker 4 (30:30):
And so I've realized now that like I think a
little bit of what's happened, especially with like the like
sexual boundaries and stuff that I crossed with my ex,
Like I feel a little bit triggered.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
By some things.
Speaker 4 (30:40):
Yeah, so I stopped going to therapy because it was
getting a little expensive, But now like I've decided that
I'm going to go back because I just feel like
there's a lot to unpack.
Speaker 3 (30:50):
Yeah, I think you knew, like you need to like
put in like six months of being like get on
top of this ship because it's so unfair. And I
always say this, Like even like Cheetahs, for example, the
person that you're damaging more is the person you cheated on. Yeah,
and it's like you cheated on me, and now I'm
gonna have to go to all of this therapy.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
I'm the one with the trust issues. I'm the one
with the damaged.
Speaker 2 (31:11):
And they're sitting there fine.
Speaker 4 (31:12):
Yeah, I honestly think there should be a law that
if someone cheats on you and you have proof, they
should pay for your therapy.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
Hundred pop.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
They should pay, Like.
Speaker 4 (31:20):
What do you mean I have to fork out all
this money for the trauma you caused me.
Speaker 3 (31:25):
Yeah, And it's just like ownership and everything like that.
And then it's like yeah, now it's like you have
your guard up and it's like I.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
Didn't want this, I didn't ask this. I just wanted
you to be a good guy.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
I just well, I want Yeah, I wanted it to
be him.
Speaker 4 (31:37):
I gave him so much love, like I did everything
for him, and he literally had the perfect woman on
a platter, because, to be honest, he molded me to
be everything he wanted to be. And even then it
wasn't enough, Like even then he was going around sleeping
with whoever.
Speaker 2 (31:53):
Like I would love to know.
Speaker 4 (31:56):
Actually I wouldn't love to know, because I can only
imagine the disgusting amount of women that he was probably
talking to. And now I think about all these like
little moments and I'm like, oh my god, that time
that he was in Melbourne and he didn't pick up
this time he was probably sleeping with someone, Like it's
just strong living.
Speaker 3 (32:16):
So what would you say then, for people who may
be feeling like they are in a bit of a
narcissistic relationship or they're in like a toxic cycle, what
are some red flags that you wish you picked up
on that you didn't.
Speaker 4 (32:31):
I think the biggest one would be communication, Like I
put aside a lot of times where I actually no
like like the effort in it, Like he was just
very much like a very convenient person and blamed a
lot on like his travel and stuff. So if you
see like a man that's like not planning ahead of time,
not like excited to see you and be like can
(32:51):
I can I come see you on Friday and it's.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
The beginning of the week.
Speaker 4 (32:54):
If he's always making plans on the day, there's something
going on, like he doesn't want to admit to something
that and like planning futures and things too early on.
Like I didn't think it was a red flag because
we had known each other for so long.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
Yeah, but when we got back together, he was like,
tell it.
Speaker 4 (33:11):
Like saying my name with his last name, talking about
the like the names of our kids and what we're
gonna like just talking about our life together. That stuff
is an instant red flag, Like you should not be
talking about those things until you've at least met the mother.
Speaker 3 (33:26):
Yeah, I think always like planning ahead, and like I
think that's what happens.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
With a lot of guys is like they tell.
Speaker 3 (33:31):
Women what they want to hear, yeah, and it then
kind of traps you in a way being like no, no,
but he wants that.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
He said to me once that like he does want
a white.
Speaker 3 (33:39):
Pig of pants with the golden treever and two boys,
like and it's like that's what I want. So like
I'm going to forgive him for what he's done because
like he wants that in the future.
Speaker 4 (33:47):
But sometimes when men talk about it too early on,
it's like it is a red flag because men that
actually want kids and a wife will spend the time
and the effort into being a good boyfriend to start
off with. But men that talk about doing those things,
they just want to take it off, Like you know
that men like that are just like it's like a
(34:08):
part of like a male's.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
Job to be up to have kids and to have
a wife.
Speaker 4 (34:14):
But a man that is actually good will spend the
time in the effort being that person for you, not
having to tell you that they want those things.
Speaker 2 (34:21):
Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
And it's always actions over what they say.
Speaker 3 (34:24):
Like I'm now like the biggest believer of like actions
are so much more like I will never believe a
man's words.
Speaker 2 (34:31):
No, never, never.
Speaker 4 (34:33):
I feel like and that's the best thing about dating
a narcissist is that now I actually have all of
these like alarm bells that go off if someone calls
me a pet name straight away, I'm like, you don't
even fucking know me, Like there's no way you're calling
me babe or baby like in the first fucking week,
Like like my ex was calling me that like literally
the second day, and I loved I hain't got shit up.
Speaker 3 (34:55):
That's the thing is you do you grab onto little
things and you hold onto it exactly what they're doing.
Narcissistic people are one of the hardest people to get
to know because they lived so many lives.
Speaker 4 (35:06):
Yes, no, I know he was. Yeah, he was definitely
living a few lives.
Speaker 3 (35:12):
Oh yeah, anything else that you're like, don't do this,
Like girls learn from me.
Speaker 4 (35:17):
I think, like, have some respect for yourself. Like I
don't think that I had any respect for myself at
one point. Like I think the more he pushed away
from me, the more I tried to like get him back.
And I think it's just like it's kind of like
coming outside of that relationship and being like what am
I actually fighting for? Like why am i am I
fighting for? Like anxiety? Am I fighting to live a
(35:41):
life full of anxiety? Like I was like shaking all
the time. I wasn't sleeping, Like why do I want
this man? Actually ask yourself why do you want him?
And if the only thing that you can say is oh,
the sex is good.
Speaker 2 (35:53):
Really not it.
Speaker 1 (35:55):
There's more to life than that.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
There's more to life than that. But like you know
what I mean, get a little bit like stigmatized.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
Yeah that sucks.
Speaker 3 (36:05):
So apart from all this man stuff, how is your
life improved or your outlook improved or anything about you
that's improved since leaving or like anything like that.
Speaker 4 (36:18):
Well, I feel like in general, I'm just like focusing
on myself more. Like I've been getting so many comments
being like you've never looked better, Like you literally are
like glowing in the sense that like you've never looked
this way. And I think it's genuinely because I've finally
let that man go and I'm finally doing things for myself. Yeah,
like focusing on my career, focusing on my friends, you know,
(36:40):
Like I got a dog that was like she's like
she's the love of my life, and like I just
think now I'm focusing on me. I think one of
the major things that I did, and I don't know,
I think a lot of people do when they're in
relationships is like they put themselves aside and do everything
for that person. And I was doing that and now
I'm no longer doing that. So I think that's why
(37:00):
I feel. I do feel really good, Like I feel
so much better, lighter. I'm not crying anymore like I
used to just like burst into tears like randomly, and
like every now and again, I'll get sad, but I'm
like you know what, Like it's not the sadness that
I used to get. Yeah, it's it's a different sadness. Yeah,
I'm still coming to the terms that it's like it
(37:21):
wasn't real, Like it wasn't real, and that stuff hurts,
But it's a different sad because it's no longer attachment.
It's just like grieving the life, the time, like all
of that.
Speaker 3 (37:32):
And they would have a lot of anger apart for that,
meaning yeah, in a way, you've wasted so much of
that time that like and I remember we spoke about
it a few weeks ago at an event.
Speaker 1 (37:42):
It's like you never in that time of like when.
Speaker 3 (37:45):
You guys would get back together, you break up and
stuff like that, and you would you were single in
that time, you never probably gave someone a chance, even
though they could have been really really good for you.
They could have been the love of your life. But like,
because you had him in the back of your mind,
you an't properly opening yourself up to the receiving that
type of stuff. And that's what I always say, Like
everyone goes like, oh, but I still want to be
(38:06):
friends with my.
Speaker 1 (38:06):
Ex or like I just like like still want him
in my life.
Speaker 3 (38:10):
Or like, yeah, we're not together, but like we sleep
together on like a Saturday night if we're all out.
I'm like, you can say to yourself as much as
you want that you're not together, but if you're still
having that intimate like sexual intimate connection, or you're still
speaking to them here and there every couple of weeks,
you're still holding that attachment that you're not allowing yourself
to meet other people.
Speaker 2 (38:31):
Yeah, you're not. We can see that. We can turn
it off. Well, we can't. As women, we can't emotional people.
Sex is emotional.
Speaker 4 (38:38):
It brings out an emotional like endorphin in us that
makes us fall in love. Like we can't have sex
with our exes and call it sex or call it friendship.
Speaker 2 (38:47):
I called it friendship for a while, yeah with.
Speaker 3 (38:50):
Gasstating yourself, like galating it exactly.
Speaker 4 (38:53):
And I was friends with his friends, so I was like,
we're just friends, but like who reminisced and sometimes kids
like friend's.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
Son, cude, No, we don't walk up and we don't
share a bed, but you're friends.
Speaker 4 (39:04):
I dodn't know, and he knew exactly what he was
doing by like giving me a little every time reminiscing
and being like you're so amazing, you deserve the world,
and you know, I wish things could have been better
for us like that, and then you kind of think, oh,
he still kind of cares about me, you know, and
you hold on hope and you hang out with them,
you hang out with his friends, and yeah, by the
time ten years is over, you're like, I actually never
(39:25):
gave anyone a proper chance.
Speaker 2 (39:27):
So now I'm finally like that's cut.
Speaker 4 (39:29):
I don't think I'm ready to date per se, Like
I'm not going to be on the app swiping or
anything like that.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
But I think if it.
Speaker 3 (39:37):
Happened, I think it actually come to you. Yeah, I
think you need to go like on a girl's trip
or something. Yeah, like one year summer to then like
meet the man, let him sweep your feet.
Speaker 4 (39:47):
And you're like, I want to go to I want
to go to America. I want to go to Texas.
Like I feel like that's wrong.
Speaker 1 (39:52):
You want to like a countryman?
Speaker 2 (39:53):
Yeah on a rant.
Speaker 4 (39:55):
No, but like the men there are men, you know, yeah,
but like they scam me there, but they're so forward
and confident.
Speaker 2 (40:04):
Like they will just come.
Speaker 3 (40:05):
Yeah, I'll be running in the other direction, I'll be
hopping on his horse and saying, get me.
Speaker 2 (40:09):
Out of here. You don't like it, you don't like
the confident.
Speaker 1 (40:13):
No, I don't like like a confident man. I do
like a confident man, but I don't like men who
like me.
Speaker 2 (40:19):
Okay, you're avoidant.
Speaker 1 (40:21):
I have really bad avoidance.
Speaker 2 (40:22):
Okay. Yeah, I'm like anxious at touched. Yeah, which so fair.
Speaker 4 (40:27):
But also like it depends on who. I think that
it depends on who you meet. Like I think you
might be avoidant now, but until you meet someone that
you really like, you might not be that way.
Speaker 2 (40:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (40:36):
Probably, yeah, but I'm just like an avoidant right now.
Speaker 3 (40:39):
And I'm like I push everyone away because I'm like,
trust me, you don't want to be around me. Like,
I'm like, I realized that I am probably not the
best person for you, so I'm like, don't.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
Don't.
Speaker 2 (40:50):
So you're not dating?
Speaker 1 (40:51):
No, I don't date.
Speaker 3 (40:53):
I like, oh, like I will say yes to a
day and then I'm like, I'm not going on that
date because like, and then you be all the time
I did it last night.
Speaker 1 (41:01):
No, I just don't want to be around But that's fine.
Speaker 4 (41:04):
If you're not ready, you're not ready. Like it's like me,
like I'm not going to go on a day It's
going to be a chore for me. Yes, I would
rather just let it happen naturally, Like I want to
meet someone at the gym or like at a cafeudn't mind.
Speaker 1 (41:16):
If someone comes up to you at the gym.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
I wouldn't.
Speaker 4 (41:18):
If I'm finishing my workout, if I'm getting a drink
or something like, I wouldn't mind. Yeah, Like I think
it's like it wouldn't be like unless they're being creepy
about it, Like if it was actually someone those hot,
I wouldn't mind. I think it's different right, Or at
the beach, yeah, or at the beach common.
Speaker 1 (41:35):
Supply maybe just sit out there for a bit atties
to be honest.
Speaker 2 (41:40):
So they're not the greatest of men over there.
Speaker 4 (41:43):
I'm not going to stereotype, but like Sydney man are
not really the greatest.
Speaker 3 (41:47):
I think Australian men in general though it's a known thing.
Like when I went to Europe and then when I
was in America this year, like I've done both places.
Speaker 1 (41:55):
Chivalry isn't dead there.
Speaker 4 (41:57):
No, they actually appreciate women. Yes, my best girlfriend to
Canada with me, and they took her to this bar
and a bunch of my friends worked there, and they
start buying her drinks, like even random guys.
Speaker 2 (42:07):
She goes, did you plan? Did you tell them to
do this?
Speaker 4 (42:10):
And I was like no, this is Canada, Like men
just want to be friends with women, like they actually
just like they think you're they think you're hard. They
want to buy you a drink and they want.
Speaker 2 (42:19):
To hang out with you. Like they're not like.
Speaker 3 (42:21):
In like when I was in London, like any man
would just buy you a drink that not because it's
just like thank you for being here.
Speaker 4 (42:27):
Yeah, and it's like thank you for being here. Do
you want to hang out with my group of friends?
Speaker 2 (42:30):
Yeah? And it's like it's not awkward, it's not in
a weird way.
Speaker 1 (42:34):
They're just like, yeah, come have fun, like let's all
be like one group. Then it's all fun.
Speaker 3 (42:38):
But in Australia it's like if I buy you drink,
it's almost like they want you to get on your
knees and like.
Speaker 1 (42:42):
Be like thank you so much for my vocal.
Speaker 4 (42:44):
I'm sorried off because they're all princesses here. They all
just want princess treatment. Like the amount of men that
are like, oh yeah, like I don't want a girl
to like use me for my money.
Speaker 2 (42:54):
I'm like, what money? Yeah, what do you mean? I
have money? But like take me out on a date,
Like what do you mean?
Speaker 3 (43:03):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (43:03):
I think you need like a you, I think you
need a European man.
Speaker 2 (43:06):
I don't. I like it's so bad.
Speaker 4 (43:09):
I don't know if I like, like we spoke about
this because you were saying all like like your like
fling or whatever. It was like foreign, and I was
like I just couldn't do it. Like I feel like
I like like Aussie men, like you're like a bit
rough around the edges. Little well, I just want to know,
not rough around the edges. And I like a pretty boy, yeah,
like what's your time?
Speaker 2 (43:27):
Tall six five six seven, No, tall.
Speaker 4 (43:35):
Like not like super like like not like dark dark
hair like grizzly or anything, but just like a pretty
boy like clean, clean cut, like like not like blonde,
but like just like you know, I like curly hair
on guys too, super curly.
Speaker 3 (43:49):
But really, well, if any of you guys hit the
description on that, just like find Sarah atbeach and go
up to her, don't message her.
Speaker 1 (43:56):
She doesn't want that go to her gym, stalk her gym,
and just go. But be safe. When it clocs to that,
drop your right, drop your location, where's all of that?
Sarah will be there.
Speaker 3 (44:09):
But yeah, well, thank you so much for coming on
hotter than yesterday and sharing your story about how you
dated a narcissist. I'm so sorry that you went through that,
and thank you for being great entertainment on MATHS even
though it was probably a little bit traumatizing for you.
Speaker 1 (44:24):
But yeah, I really.
Speaker 3 (44:25):
Wish you all the I think something great is coming
for you because you are radiating.
Speaker 1 (44:29):
I think you're the best version of yourself.
Speaker 3 (44:31):
So now something is going to really come through and
you're going to have the.
Speaker 1 (44:36):
Life that you always I appreciate it, right, Thank you, guys,
and I'll see you guys next week. Bye.
Welcome to Hotter than Yesterday.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Thanks for coming on, Thanks for having me.
Speaker 3 (00:04):
We're in Sydney at the moment, and I think you
guys may know Sarah.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Of course you know Sarah. She was from Maths.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
I look a little different now.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
You do.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
I was doing a bit of research this morning and
I was like, you literally have like blonde bomb.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Yeah, like blonde Bob.
Speaker 4 (00:20):
I was a little bit like heavier as well, like
just completely different.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
And what year was Maths?
Speaker 2 (00:26):
It was two years ago?
Speaker 3 (00:27):
Now? Wow?
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Does it feel like ages ago?
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Ages?
Speaker 4 (00:30):
Like I feel like I wasn't even on it, like
it was like a lifetime ago.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Wow. Yeah, so you were I watched the season of Masks.
Speaker 4 (00:37):
I'm the lover of Masks, Like I still watch it.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Yeah, of course.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
It's just like there's so much tea, there's so much
on everything. But I feel like it's such a highly
produced show.
Speaker 4 (00:48):
Yeah, absolutely compared to like other reality TV's like Love
Island and stuff.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
Yeah, because like you always know that the cameras around,
like all those cameras in your face, yeah right where
I was like in like Love Island, they're like everywhere.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
Yeah, It's like I guess like when you kind of
look at maths. If we're not actually speaking the words
most of the time, is probably not us, Like, it's
probably just something something that we said like at one point,
but they clip it into another part to make it
the narrative.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
Yeah, and so because you lived in those apartments for
seven days straight, were you recording every day?
Speaker 2 (01:22):
No Monday to Friday.
Speaker 4 (01:23):
So we had Saturday Sundays off, but we had curfew
every day. So Monday to Friday was nine pm curfew.
So if we were to finish like filming out like
seven we'd have like a couple hours or whatever, but
we get like miked up first thing in the morning,
and we're pretty much miked up for the whole day.
We'll get like a lunch break and like little breaks
in between, but pretty much filming the whole day. It's
(01:44):
like ten hour days. And then Saturday Sunday we had
them off. But we had like a producer that lived
on the floor and basically anything that we did had
to go through him.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
And also to.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Tell you, like I want to go to the cafe, yeah,
you'd have to tell him.
Speaker 4 (01:57):
You couldn't just leave because sometimes like more than one
person would want to leave at the same time, and
then they'd be like, well, we know you're going to
meet up, so like we won't let this many people
out at the same time.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
But were you allowed to go to each other's room?
Speaker 4 (02:09):
No, we weren't allowed to hang out outside of like
cameras in front of us technically, like we weren't, but
we did, like some people did, Like Lauren and I hung.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Out all the time.
Speaker 4 (02:18):
Yeah, yeah, Like but like a lot of times, like
they would catch on to it and they wouldn't let
you leave. Like at one point they were like, you're
not leaving because we know Lauren's and I was like
I'm leaving, Like I.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Literally was like, you can't not make me leave, Like.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
It's like your full like Sims character, it's so bizarre.
Speaker 4 (02:33):
Yeah, it was the weirdest time of my life. Like genuinely,
when I think about it now, I'm like, that was
so weird.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
And how long is recording you to go for six weeks?
Speaker 4 (02:42):
It's three months? Yeah, oh shit, three months.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
So we're out of work for three months. You're out
of doing everything the three months.
Speaker 4 (02:48):
Everything, and it's just like you're in this like maths
bubble where it's all you think about all you talk about.
So when people are like, oh my god, is it real,
Like is the Joba real, I'm like yes, because it's literally.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
Yeah, no wonder everyone goes batshit crazy and it literally
does bring out like probably the worst side and more
patience by the end.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
No, absolutely, And also you're just like emotionally manipulated by producers,
so like at the end of it, you're like, oh,
is that like was what they said? Like does that
mean something? And then you start thinking overthinking things. You go,
something's gonna happen at this dinner party, and then you
get there and everything's all heightened and it's just like
they know, yeah, it was awful.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
And how is your mental health after it? Then when
you returned back to like a normal life bad Like
I think.
Speaker 4 (03:34):
It was pretty much like at its peak when I
first came off the show. Yeah, to be honest, like,
I think when you're like not used to it, Like
I think you've been in the scene for a while,
so you get you know, you're used to the hate,
and like at first it probably sucks, but now you're
probably just like conditioned. Right, Yeah, at first I was like,
oh my god, this is so terrible, Like these people
are saying the most horrible things to me, Like I
was getting death threats, Like yeah, the first one I
(03:56):
remember getting was like this guy being like, if I
ever see you on the streets, I'm going to bash your.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Skull in And I was like.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Oh my god, like I'm terraking.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
Older people who watch like TV on like Channel nine,
they are more brutal.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Yeah, the Facebook pages and.
Speaker 4 (04:11):
Forms like everything, and they're like they get so invested
into it because it's like a marriage, So.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
They go, this is a marriage. Anything that you do
is so wrong.
Speaker 4 (04:21):
And everyone lives in their glasshouses and you're like everyone
said third pretending like they're so perfect. Like what you're
seeing is like just the heightened version of probably reality.
But like that's not how it pans out usually, right.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
Yeah, So how long before when you wrapped up filming?
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Did it?
Speaker 1 (04:37):
Then you can the public saw it.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
So we wrapped up in October and then it doesn't
play till February, right, Yeah, so a few months where
you have to kind of like lay low and not
really tell anyone anything, and then you watch it at
the same time as everybody else.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Oh no, I couldn't do that.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
Yeah, I remember watching it, like being like I didn't
say that, yeah, and you just want to go and
or like you want to go on your Instagram, I'd
be like, just clearly clear care because you're locked down it.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
So I think that's why we've pulled you.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
I've put pulled you on today because I was a
lover of Maths, and I think by in the little
bit you were kind of a bit of a villain
in the nicest way possible.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
I know if I were to Maths.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
I would be a villain too, Like, I think you're
such a big personality, You're such a kind, outgoing person
that then it's easy to manipulate you because you say
a lot.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
And I talk a lot. Yeah, exactly. They have a
lot of footage.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
So it's like you're easy to mix up and jump.
And you were married to Tim Y Tim, And there
was a bit of drama that went on in the in.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
The series's a lot of drama.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
There was a bit of drama that went on in
the show at a point where you met up with
your ex. A lot of drama in the drama, and
everyone was like, you're the worst person in the world.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
You're a cheetah, disgusting which is not fair at all,
and we do not condone that behavior.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
No.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
But then a couple of months ago, yeah, we're just now.
Yeah you came out on your TikTok and you're like,
I'm done.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
Yeah, I'm done protecting him, Like I think for the
longest time I was.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
I protected him because I thought we were going to
be together.
Speaker 4 (06:10):
And initially, yeah, like I sat in front of the
show and I lied to everyone because I was dealing
with a really toxic, narcissistic.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Ex in the background.
Speaker 4 (06:19):
I didn't know how to deal with it because it
was obviously super unexpected that he came back into my
life at a really shitty time, as they do.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Times.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
He knew that I was going on a show, found
out and decided to text me and come back into
my life, and that really fucked with my head. I
really kind of tried with timor like I did, really
really try, but I think in the background he was
always just one hundred.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
Percent, you know, one hundred percent, And when you have
someone like always like breadcrumbing you, it's so so hot.
And you then went on a whole show in front
of the whole nation, yea worldwide actually, because everyone loves
it worldwide to protect this man. And then two years
after you've just capted slack up to slack up to
(07:01):
slack so this man that you thought that was going
to be your partner and you then had enough one day, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
I just had enough. I was like, well I knew
at that point.
Speaker 4 (07:09):
Basically I came out with it because I got the
hay girly text or message DM.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
So maybe for no one who's seen the tiktoks, because
I know all of them, I've watched them, give a
little bit of context to people that might not have
seen that.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
Okay, So basically, a few months ago, I got a
message from a girl on Instagram and she was like,
she had been following along my tiktoks and I had
been posting a few like breakup stuff like really sad,
like narcissistic.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
Harsh, like voice memo in the background, like the songs
aimed at them.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Yeahah yeah exactly, so I think.
Speaker 4 (07:45):
And she kind of had an inkling because like Perth
is quite small excess from Perth, and she had asked
around about this guy that she started dating, and everyone
was like, oh have you never heard, like he had
an affair with the girl from maths because he was
dating a girl in Perth for like four years, and
the whole story was like that he had an affair,
Like I wouldn't necessarily call it an affair, but we
(08:07):
were on and off for ten.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Years, like it was it was a law.
Speaker 4 (08:11):
Like there was times where he was with her that
I don't know if like he was telling me like
the wrong thing and like we would you know, reminisce
and hook up or kiss or whatever it may be. Anyways,
she confronted him and was like, are you seeing this girl?
Did this actually happen? Of course, he denied, and I
denied and she just kept tabs. She was like, Okay,
he's denying it, but I'm not really sure. Then one
(08:32):
day she was hanging out with him and he quickly
like looked through his phone and she saw my dog,
Like he accidentally pulled up his pictures and one of
the most recent pictures was my dog. I just got
my dog, like that would have been a very recent thing. Yeah,
And she goes, are you fucking her? And he was
like what She was like, I know that dog. I
(08:52):
follow her on TikTok.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
I know who that is. And I've asked you about
her before.
Speaker 4 (08:56):
You told me that you dated years ago and that
nothing's happened since, but that every now and again you
run into each other in Sydney but nothing happens.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
So why the dog?
Speaker 2 (09:04):
So why the dog?
Speaker 4 (09:05):
And he goes, oh, yeah, I ran into her when
I was in Sydney and she told me she got
a dog and I had to go see the dog.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
And she goes, you had to see the dog? What
did you do?
Speaker 4 (09:16):
And he goes, oh yeah, like what like I went over.
Did you sleep together? No, we didn't sleep together, but
we kissed. I was like, pretty sure we did sleep together.
Pretty sure we were together.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
So that's when I was like, you know, what are
you guys dating at this time?
Speaker 2 (09:30):
We're dating?
Speaker 1 (09:31):
We were back together.
Speaker 4 (09:31):
We were back together, like we got back together. Like
so I ran into him in March and we got
back together. He was like, I'm moving back to Sydney.
You know, things will probably work this time because I'm moving,
We're not gonna be doing long distance, but let's just
like keep things like let's not talk until I'm back basically,
but we started talking like just before what's April? So
like around April we started talking again, like every single day.
(09:54):
He was coming here in May for his birthday, and
I was planning something for his birthday, so we he
got fully back together. Anyways, he was here. That's in
a whole nother stode. But I actually probably fucking I've
said it in the series, like he told me he
was here, he was coming here, but couldn't tell me
what day.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
This is like, yeah, typical.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
And you were like, I want to plan something for
your birthday, Like, can you just tell me what date is?
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Can you just tell me what day so I can
plan something. He's like yea, yeah, honey, I'll do I'll
let you know. I'll let you know.
Speaker 4 (10:21):
And then all of a sudden, he just goes silent,
and I'm like, what happened? And then he starts texting
me again. He goes, oh, sorry, I was on the
plane bub and I was like, where are you? He
goes Brisbane. I was like, Brisbane, okay, Well, can you
tell me when you're in Sydney. He goes, yeah, I'm
just trying to figure out when this dinner's going to be.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
I'll let you know. Five minutes later.
Speaker 4 (10:39):
Into that conversation, he goes, oh, sorry, Sydney, and I
go you're in Sydney.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
He goes, yeah, sorry, sorry, I've just been on the plane.
I'm so tired. I'm like, no, you're not tired.
Speaker 4 (10:48):
You lies were catching up to me exactly, And in
my head, now that I know everything, I'm like, he
was probably talking to another girl and probably got his
lies confused, Like probably was telling another girl like that
he was in Brisbane and telling you know what I mean,
like yes, like.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
And he all caught up to it, all cut up
to it exactly. Yeah I know.
Speaker 4 (11:07):
So then he shows up. We spend that whole week
together that he was here. I took him out for
his birthday, spend all this money on him, introduced him
to a few of my new girlfriends, and then he
goes back to Perth for a couple of weeks.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
And that's when I.
Speaker 4 (11:20):
Was like, okay, it was normal, texting every day. He's
a big Texter twenty four to seven, Like that's how.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
They are, right, does where I have like four phones?
Speaker 4 (11:27):
Oh yeah, two yeah too, but one was his work phone.
Now I'm thinking there was something dodgy going on there.
But twenty four to seven texting me that it was
like when the slightest drop you could feel that there
was something off right.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
He like.
Speaker 4 (11:40):
I remember one day he like like fell off and
I was like, what's going on?
Speaker 2 (11:43):
He goes, sorry, bub fell asleep.
Speaker 4 (11:45):
I'm about to make this pork and funnel pasta with
my mom and I was like, oh nice. Sends me
the recipe and I was like, it looks delicious.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
I'm going to try it this week.
Speaker 4 (11:53):
Anyways, fast forward to when I'm talking to this girl
that DMS me. I was like, can you please search
the day that this poor confedel pasta was being cooked?
Speaker 2 (12:02):
And she sends me the.
Speaker 4 (12:03):
Picture of the pork and fentil pasta and I was
like why, Like you must be kidding, Like, actually.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
Did you ever meet his family? No?
Speaker 4 (12:13):
Never met his family because when we first dated, like
years ago, when he lived here, I was twenty two
and we like dated ver like we were like together,
like he asked me how to be his girlfriend, but
it was so like young and casual. Yeah, and I
lived here and his parents were in perse so he
would just he went home for Christmas and I was
just here, right.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
We were lately separate, they were very separate.
Speaker 4 (12:35):
And then what happened is he moved to Perth and
started dating that girl. Right, So, like in that time
that he was dating that girl, we weren't together, but
we were still catching up and hooking up and you know,
reminiscing and whatever. And then when we got back together,
this was two years ago, now, that was a big
topic of conversation. After like a few months of dating,
I was like, why haven't you introduced me to your mom?
(12:57):
And he was like, you will, you will, you will,
kept like pushing it, pushing it off, and then it
got to a point where I was like, this man's
not serious enough about me, Like there's something going on.
And then that's when the fight started happening and I
started calling him out on his ship and he didn't
like that.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Yeah, so you got back together after maths.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
Yeah, and then you were again on and off for
two years after maths. H and was the girl that
he said that he on maps there was like a
big thing, being like they were broken up there together,
they're not broken up there together?
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Was he over with that girl?
Speaker 4 (13:27):
Back together?
Speaker 1 (13:28):
After math?
Speaker 4 (13:29):
He had broken so that time that me and him
like ended up hanging out on maths, he had broken
up with her already, right, Okay, And he had told me,
like basically the conversation was like when we hung out.
He was like, so we hung out like before that
at once before that, and he that was when he
texted me be like it's your real husband. And I
(13:49):
was like, I'm not coming over. I'm not hanging out
with you guys. He was with a friend that I'm
really close with friends with and they were drunk, and
he was like reminiscing, basically saying to me, like you're it,
like you're the girl that's been consistent in my life
this whole time, and I'm an idiot. It's been right
under my eyes, and I need to break up with
this girl.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
And I was like, well, I'm not doing anything until
you break up with this girl. Anyways, then we hung out.
Speaker 4 (14:12):
That second time was when Eden told everybody at the
dinner party and that time he had broken up with
her and nothing happened. We were out in a bar,
like there was a few of us, like just drinking
and stuff, but of course we were like close, like reminiscing,
like he told me he had broke up and broken
up with her and that you know, things could happen now,
and I was like, well, I'm on this show. Like
I'm not like, I'm not being rash about this decision
(14:35):
because this is so crazy to me that you're saying
everything out of the blue, you know.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Yeah, so I didn't leave.
Speaker 3 (14:42):
Yeah, and you would have been under Like I think
people it's very easy to sometimes go straight to the girl, yeah,
when you're the other woman or everything like that. But
like people need to realize that men have also been
manipulating women. He was manipulating you for.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Years, and he would tell you what you wanted to hear.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
He would give you false sense of hope, but he
knew at the end of the day that you wanted him.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
He knew I was wrapped around his finger, like he knew.
Speaker 4 (15:12):
Because I was so young and impressionable like he was,
I was very easy to manipulate that. And then by
that time I was like wrapped around his finger and
I feel like and he got his friends to do
his dirty work for him too, So every time he
was in Sydney, like all his friends would message me
come to this bar and he'd be there, and so
like it was never him doing the dirty work, you.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Know what I mean, Like it was always his friends
doing it for him.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
So he could go at the same time.
Speaker 4 (15:34):
And go back to his girlfriend and say, oh, she
was just there, like I didn't ask her to be there,
you know, like it was always something like really dodgy
like that. But the thing is is like I wasn't
the other girl. I was the girl before her like
I was.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
It's like god.
Speaker 4 (15:49):
Like, yes, I was the other girl technically while he
was in that relationship, but he was feeding me lies
that made me feel like I wasn't the other girl.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
I was the girl.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
He was living a double lie. He was living in
He had his Perth life and here had he see
her life.
Speaker 4 (16:02):
And it was easy for him because he traveled with work,
so it was easy for him to get away with
absolutely anything. Because Perth and Sydney are very separated. Not
a lot of people know each other really, so he
was walking around freely with me here and walking around
freely with her there.
Speaker 3 (16:20):
So you gotta And so then the hay girlie message
that you got was from then his new a girlfriend
or a girlfriend, but you were still seeing each other
at the same time. He had his double life going on,
and she messaged you saying she was like.
Speaker 4 (16:35):
Hey, babe, I've been following your tiktoks and I just
need to know, like is this guy your ex? And
she named him and I was like yes, why and
she was like I need to call you. And at
this point, I was like on a date with this guy,
like this English guy that I had just met and
like for the first time, had like had the courage
(16:55):
to go back online dating.
Speaker 3 (16:57):
And it was of course when all this was like yeah,
I got like up on hinge and you're like, I'm
time to put myself.
Speaker 4 (17:02):
Out myself out there, and then I ran into him
and it just yeah, it was all a big thing.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Anyways, she called me.
Speaker 4 (17:09):
We spent an hour on the phone exchanging text messages.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
Really, so you were on the date when you got
this message?
Speaker 4 (17:14):
Yeah, And I was like I can't, Like I was
literally like what was a day date? And literally like
was like not present.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (17:21):
I was like I need to go home if Anyways,
when I when I actually got home, we got on
the phone. We're on the phone for an hour exchanging
text messages, exchanging everything, text book narcissistic shit like the Bubba's,
the honeys, the pop the I love yous, the like
(17:41):
just constant twenty four or seven texts the same pictures
he was sending her he was sending me like it
was disgusting. It was actually like like I was shivering,
Like I was like, I cannot believe that this is
happening to me right now.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
And of course, because we were.
Speaker 4 (17:56):
So on and off, like he could easily be like together. Yeah, yeah,
so it was hard for me because I was like, technically, yeah,
but you were still saying you wanted to be with
me in March.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
You were saying that, but you were with her since
in October.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:09):
Like, it's also the feed dripping that's really really hard.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
It's like they give you a.
Speaker 3 (18:13):
Little bit and you don't know when you're gonna get
it next, and then you hold onto that. Yeah, I've
never dated a narcissist, but I like my situationships after that,
Like they feed drip you and it makes that's what
makes you hold on.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
And then they know.
Speaker 3 (18:26):
By giving you that little bit, you can never properly
move on because you're holding out on that.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Hope that that little bit that they gave you will
turn into.
Speaker 4 (18:33):
Totally well, they do that, like I feel like and
the highs and the lows are so addicting, you know,
like that's what I love.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
Is an addiction. It is.
Speaker 4 (18:41):
Yeah, he would sit there and this man would cry
in front of me, You're so amazing, You're so beautiful.
I don't deserve you, Like how does a girl like
you date a guy like me? Like all this crazy shit?
And then would be cooking pasta with this girl while
we were full texting, and then you'd be like, sorry,
(19:02):
I'm just helping mom, like like clean up like the
kitchen or but and like you know, I'm not going
to go into like stuff with his family and stuff.
But there was stuff going on, and he would use
that all the time whenever we fought, and it would
get to the point where it was like I couldn't
get angry at him because he would use that, And
then I have to feel sorry if you feel like
the bad person mentioning anything. It was so manipulative, so controlling,
(19:25):
so toxic. But I loved him like I did, and
it was so hard to get out of it. But
I'm so glad that girl messaged me, because I don't
think I would have ever stopped the cycle.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
And after that, you were like that enough is enough.
I can't go on anymore.
Speaker 4 (19:40):
I couldn't and even though sometimes I'll be honest, like
sometimes I still like miss him, like it's so fucked up,
Like I can sit here and be completely honest with you,
and I think that a lot of people in narcissistic
relationships can resonate. Yeah, it's not just as easy as
like it's over, like I miss him, I miss the
good parts because when it was good, it was so
fucking good, it was amazing.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
It's like the years of your life as well. This
is like this has expanded over ten years, like your
whole adult life pretty much like that's all you know
in your twenties, this is all you know.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
Like breaking that cycle is so so hard.
Speaker 3 (20:15):
And if I would have done the exact same thing
of you, It's like once you posted it online, you're
almost holding yourself accountable to not fall back because you
had you. Every time he messaged you or something you
was giving back. I was there, and I know you
would have probably told yourself that every single time I ended,
You're like, none, this is done again, this.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
Is done for good.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
Come no.
Speaker 4 (20:36):
I lost like my best friend over it because I
kept being like I'm no, I'm not, and then I
wouldn't be like.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
You're so stupid, and I'm like, I know, do you
not think that I know? Do I want to be here? No?
Speaker 4 (20:46):
But I cannot physically get out of this, Like I
feel so attached.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
I can't. It's a trauma bond.
Speaker 4 (20:53):
You form a trauma bond that's so hard to get
out of, and like you just want, like the person
that abuses you, you just want that comfort from that
person and the validation.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
And like, yeah, I just want to know what they're
thinking all the time.
Speaker 4 (21:05):
But I'm so glad that I did it because like
I genuinely like sometimes I'm like.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
Oh, this is so bad, Like it's so hard.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
But like sometimes I'm like, no, you do, and you know,
I mean at an event the other week.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
She's like yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
Sometimes like he's just like really hot, and I'm like,
show me a photo and she shows me, No, he's not.
Speaker 4 (21:29):
You know the best thing about that is that every
time I show a picture of him to my friends,
they go, what what, They're like one.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
Of the hottest people I've ever seen in my life.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
And I thought this man like the stuff I had
heard that you had spoken to me about him, and
like I hadn't seen a photo and I was like
this man has got to be the hottest thing that's
ever walked on the earth with the amount of opportunities
was given him.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
She shows, I'm like, maybe, actually, are you.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Gonna show me?
Speaker 2 (21:59):
Like, oh, friend, and then you're getting there. Oh that's
so funny.
Speaker 4 (22:03):
I mean it's just tall of course, because it's they
it's the hype.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
Yeah, I know.
Speaker 4 (22:10):
But like also just like we did have a lot,
like we were like deeply connected. Like I feel like
we actually had like really good, deep conversations. I'm a
very deep person. I need someone that's going to be
on that level with me. Yeah, And when it was good,
it was like that, but when it was bad, it
was so bad.
Speaker 3 (22:23):
Like and then so when you went through maths and
then all of that stuff happened, and that kind of
then became like a big storyline in the show.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Did you ever explain to Tim like.
Speaker 3 (22:33):
What had been happening or you'd never spoken about your past?
Speaker 1 (22:36):
No, I didn't.
Speaker 4 (22:37):
I briefly mentioned my ex, but I didn't really go
into detail about what happened. And I think that at
that point as well, because we me and my ex
weren't speaking, we decided not to speak basically till the
show was done, I was kind of trying with Tim,
and towards the end you can see that we were
kind of trying, but like as much as I tried.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
We just couldn't get along. Like and I don't know
if he knows now, like Tim and I are blocked,
like he blocked me like ages ago. But I don't
know if he knows anything about it.
Speaker 4 (23:06):
And I would hope that you could see it and
maybe resonate with maybe how I was acting, because I
look back and I genuinely hate how I acted.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
I do, like that's not who I am.
Speaker 4 (23:16):
But I think because I was hiding so much like
I was lying, that it showed in the way that
I was acting, like I was trying so much to
cover up the things that I was doing in the background,
trying to protect what was going on with him and
him that I was acting like such a bitch to Tim,
like it was just yeah, it was, it was bad.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (23:35):
And so has anybody else come out once you posted
this whole series? You obviously got that message from the
hay Giry.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
Oh yeah, And what.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
I'm confused about is why no one came.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
Out about it before? About him?
Speaker 1 (23:48):
Yes, Like, have you ever received another Hay girls.
Speaker 4 (23:52):
So he is so private, Sam, like he and this
is something that I now I'm picking up on all.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
These things right. His Instagram, his profile picture first, he's private.
Speaker 4 (24:02):
His prople picture is a picture of his friend, like
a big close up picture of like one of his friends.
It's not even him. His name on Instagram is not
his name. His Facebook is fully private, like.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Nothing's on it.
Speaker 4 (24:13):
Yeah, like blocked to count yep, blocked to count Like
he is the most private person ever. So it's like
he does. He doesn't post on Instagram or anything, and
that is so that he can get away with that.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
Yeah, so that people, did you ever get upset?
Speaker 1 (24:27):
He never posted you.
Speaker 4 (24:28):
No, because when we got back together, I couldn't post,
you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
So yeah, we kind of And I think that that
was like so good for him.
Speaker 4 (24:36):
He loved it because he could blame it on the
fact that I couldn't post anything because of the show,
or that we had to be secret because of the show.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
And that was so perfect for her pick it up.
Speaker 4 (24:46):
But No, I was never upset because like I couldn't
do it and I didn't want to post him. Yeah,
I didn't want that to get out like for the
longest time, I never thought I was going to tell
this story. I was like, yeah, he's just going to
be a new guy that I met, Like.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
Wow, do you know what I mean refreshing? Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 4 (25:01):
Oh anyway, so yep, no, So you asked me, did
any other girls come forward when I posted those tiktoks?
Speaker 2 (25:08):
I didn't even name him.
Speaker 4 (25:09):
The amount of women that came forward knowing that it
was him is insane, like insane. I had two other
girls that were seeing him at the same time that
told me around the times where they like they were
dating him.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
Same stories.
Speaker 4 (25:23):
He would bring them to his new house that he's
building and say this is going to be our room,
this is going to be our this, calling them bobs,
honey pop, whatever his nicknames are, to all of them,
love bombing them that I love you, she said to
the last girl, he said I love you to her
within like a month of knowing her. Nah, yeah, same shit,
(25:44):
like everything. And then it was so funny because some
some someone made a fake account I think because and
I think it was like one of his excess friends.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
I'm not gonna lie And she.
Speaker 4 (25:56):
Was like, she wrote on my TikTok being like, if
this isn't, I will eat my own heart. She named him,
and then his name started trending on my TikTok.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
Come on, come on, I'm so good.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
I always say, if you don't want a story made
about you, don't fuck me over.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
Don't like you know, like, just don't just be a
good person like.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
You fucked me over.
Speaker 4 (26:18):
It's my story to tell, exactly. And I'm not sitting here.
I wasn't sitting there like I want to hurt him.
I was sitting there like, you've hurt me enough. Because
I'm keeping this a secret. I have ruined my reputation.
I have ruined a lot of opportunities that I could
have had coming off this show being different because of you.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
You ruined that for me, and now I'm not going
to protect you anymore.
Speaker 3 (26:40):
Yeah, And it's like holding him accountable. Absolutely, He's gotten
away for so long, and.
Speaker 4 (26:46):
I'm so sick and tired of men getting away with shit.
They and it's always the like tall ones, the successful ones,
the ones that are like on paper so amazing, that
get away with murder because women look at them and
they go, well, there's so many shit men out there,
I may as well he's this, he's out, and we
kind of put all those things aside, and it's like,
why are we doing this. We're part of the problem.
(27:06):
We need to walk away when it doesn't serve us anymore.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
Yeah, because of all of the people that come forward
and everything like that, I just don't understand why he
got away with it for so.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
Long, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (27:18):
Like, I know another story of this woman that's like
also in the scene and she got cheated on and
stuff like that.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
As women, we all need a band together, and I
like about it, post photos of it. Like isn't there
like a Facebook group chat or something like that.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
It's like, oh my god, I tried.
Speaker 4 (27:33):
They didn't accept my post because now, like men are
so women on that group chat, which is so not okay,
do not do this. But if you put a guy
on there, don't tell the fucking guy. Like apparently there
was women. There was women going telling the guys that
they were on this group chat. So now and then
people were getting sued. So now you need proof, like
(27:54):
actual proof that these men are abusive or cheating or whatever.
And I didn't have any proof of it. The only
proof that I had, well, did I do now. But
at the time, the only proof that I had was
maybe one message where he like agreed with me that
he had cheated on his ex with me, and that
was it.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
They didn't accept my post, so I didn't post it.
Speaker 4 (28:14):
But I do think that, like like in Perth, he
has quite a bad rep.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
So I don't think that. I do think people know
who he is.
Speaker 4 (28:21):
I do think that he has a bit of an
issue now, especially with my videos because a lot of
people have seen them.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
I also got another.
Speaker 4 (28:28):
Hay Girly message yesterday, so they're still coming through. I
got a hay Girly message and she goes ohn she
commented on my TikTok. She goes, I DM do you
And I read it and she goes, hey, babe, thank
you so much for your videos. I was just seeing
him and I ended it with him today because of
your videos.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
Oh so he's fucked with lot.
Speaker 3 (28:47):
Yeah, like you need to like move to Bali or
something like that, just like he's not.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (28:54):
So she broke it off with him basically the same story,
and then she yeah, she texted him and he was like, well,
like what what happened? And she was like, I found
out some things about you that I didn't like and
he's like should I be concerned, acting like he had
no idea?
Speaker 3 (29:08):
You know, mane, you know, you know Australia is a
very very small place in like the whole scheme of things,
like there are so many connections.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
Yeah, he'll never get away with it anyone.
Speaker 4 (29:19):
But I was like, I was like so proud of her.
I was like, she had only been dating him for
three months. But at that point, I'm like, I don't know,
like I'm I feel like kind of dumb that I
seyed for so long.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
But she was like nah, like she's like I.
Speaker 4 (29:30):
Texted him straight away after your series and I was
like I'm done, and I was like good for you,
Like girl, Yeah, so.
Speaker 3 (29:36):
Now you you're like never again, Like never, No, you
cannot ever go back there?
Speaker 2 (29:41):
No?
Speaker 3 (29:41):
Never. How is now dating now? What is your outlook
on it? Do you think you have like a little
bag like damage from that at all? Or are you
like trust is given to proven guilty or I aren't.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
I feel like I've been.
Speaker 4 (29:55):
I feel like I am a little bit traumatized, Like
I didn't think that. I was like I'm always kind
of that person and it's like I'm ready to get
hurt again, like jokingly, but like I'm ready to put
myself out there and like do it all over again.
But I was just seeing someone, and I was seeing
I saw two guys since and both kind of ended
within like a month, so it wasn't very long, and
(30:17):
I kind of realized that I was like the intimacy part.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
Was really weird for me.
Speaker 4 (30:22):
Like I got to a point where I was like,
I don't know, like I just couldn't be intimate, Like
I couldn't do the kissing, I couldn't do the touching.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
Like it felt really weird to me.
Speaker 4 (30:30):
And so I've realized now that like I think a
little bit of what's happened, especially with like the like
sexual boundaries and stuff that I crossed with my ex,
Like I feel a little bit triggered.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
By some things.
Speaker 4 (30:40):
Yeah, so I stopped going to therapy because it was
getting a little expensive, But now like I've decided that
I'm going to go back because I just feel like
there's a lot to unpack.
Speaker 3 (30:50):
Yeah, I think you knew, like you need to like
put in like six months of being like get on
top of this ship because it's so unfair. And I
always say this, Like even like Cheetahs, for example, the
person that you're damaging more is the person you cheated on. Yeah,
and it's like you cheated on me, and now I'm
gonna have to go to all of this therapy.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
I'm the one with the trust issues. I'm the one
with the damaged.
Speaker 2 (31:11):
And they're sitting there fine.
Speaker 4 (31:12):
Yeah, I honestly think there should be a law that
if someone cheats on you and you have proof, they
should pay for your therapy.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
Hundred pop.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
They should pay, Like.
Speaker 4 (31:20):
What do you mean I have to fork out all
this money for the trauma you caused me.
Speaker 3 (31:25):
Yeah, And it's just like ownership and everything like that.
And then it's like yeah, now it's like you have
your guard up and it's like I.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
Didn't want this, I didn't ask this. I just wanted
you to be a good guy.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
I just well, I want Yeah, I wanted it to
be him.
Speaker 4 (31:37):
I gave him so much love, like I did everything
for him, and he literally had the perfect woman on
a platter, because, to be honest, he molded me to
be everything he wanted to be. And even then it
wasn't enough, Like even then he was going around sleeping
with whoever.
Speaker 2 (31:53):
Like I would love to know.
Speaker 4 (31:56):
Actually I wouldn't love to know, because I can only
imagine the disgusting amount of women that he was probably
talking to. And now I think about all these like
little moments and I'm like, oh my god, that time
that he was in Melbourne and he didn't pick up
this time he was probably sleeping with someone, Like it's
just strong living.
Speaker 3 (32:16):
So what would you say then, for people who may
be feeling like they are in a bit of a
narcissistic relationship or they're in like a toxic cycle, what
are some red flags that you wish you picked up
on that you didn't.
Speaker 4 (32:31):
I think the biggest one would be communication, Like I
put aside a lot of times where I actually no
like like the effort in it, Like he was just
very much like a very convenient person and blamed a
lot on like his travel and stuff. So if you
see like a man that's like not planning ahead of time,
not like excited to see you and be like can
(32:51):
I can I come see you on Friday and it's.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
The beginning of the week.
Speaker 4 (32:54):
If he's always making plans on the day, there's something
going on, like he doesn't want to admit to something
that and like planning futures and things too early on.
Like I didn't think it was a red flag because
we had known each other for so long.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
Yeah, but when we got back together, he was like,
tell it.
Speaker 4 (33:11):
Like saying my name with his last name, talking about
the like the names of our kids and what we're
gonna like just talking about our life together. That stuff
is an instant red flag, Like you should not be
talking about those things until you've at least met the mother.
Speaker 3 (33:26):
Yeah, I think always like planning ahead, and like I
think that's what happens.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
With a lot of guys is like they tell.
Speaker 3 (33:31):
Women what they want to hear, yeah, and it then
kind of traps you in a way being like no, no,
but he wants that.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
He said to me once that like he does want
a white.
Speaker 3 (33:39):
Pig of pants with the golden treever and two boys,
like and it's like that's what I want. So like
I'm going to forgive him for what he's done because
like he wants that in the future.
Speaker 4 (33:47):
But sometimes when men talk about it too early on,
it's like it is a red flag because men that
actually want kids and a wife will spend the time
and the effort into being a good boyfriend to start
off with. But men that talk about doing those things,
they just want to take it off, Like you know
that men like that are just like it's like a
(34:08):
part of like a male's.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
Job to be up to have kids and to have
a wife.
Speaker 4 (34:14):
But a man that is actually good will spend the
time in the effort being that person for you, not
having to tell you that they want those things.
Speaker 2 (34:21):
Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
And it's always actions over what they say.
Speaker 3 (34:24):
Like I'm now like the biggest believer of like actions
are so much more like I will never believe a
man's words.
Speaker 2 (34:31):
No, never, never.
Speaker 4 (34:33):
I feel like and that's the best thing about dating
a narcissist is that now I actually have all of
these like alarm bells that go off if someone calls
me a pet name straight away, I'm like, you don't
even fucking know me, Like there's no way you're calling
me babe or baby like in the first fucking week,
Like like my ex was calling me that like literally
the second day, and I loved I hain't got shit up.
Speaker 3 (34:55):
That's the thing is you do you grab onto little
things and you hold onto it exactly what they're doing.
Narcissistic people are one of the hardest people to get
to know because they lived so many lives.
Speaker 4 (35:06):
Yes, no, I know he was. Yeah, he was definitely
living a few lives.
Speaker 3 (35:12):
Oh yeah, anything else that you're like, don't do this,
Like girls learn from me.
Speaker 4 (35:17):
I think, like, have some respect for yourself. Like I
don't think that I had any respect for myself at
one point. Like I think the more he pushed away
from me, the more I tried to like get him back.
And I think it's just like it's kind of like
coming outside of that relationship and being like what am
I actually fighting for? Like why am i am I
fighting for? Like anxiety? Am I fighting to live a
(35:41):
life full of anxiety? Like I was like shaking all
the time. I wasn't sleeping, Like why do I want
this man? Actually ask yourself why do you want him?
And if the only thing that you can say is oh,
the sex is good.
Speaker 2 (35:53):
Really not it.
Speaker 1 (35:55):
There's more to life than that.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
There's more to life than that. But like you know
what I mean, get a little bit like stigmatized.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
Yeah that sucks.
Speaker 3 (36:05):
So apart from all this man stuff, how is your
life improved or your outlook improved or anything about you
that's improved since leaving or like anything like that.
Speaker 4 (36:18):
Well, I feel like in general, I'm just like focusing
on myself more. Like I've been getting so many comments
being like you've never looked better, Like you literally are
like glowing in the sense that like you've never looked
this way. And I think it's genuinely because I've finally
let that man go and I'm finally doing things for myself. Yeah,
like focusing on my career, focusing on my friends, you know,
(36:40):
Like I got a dog that was like she's like
she's the love of my life, and like I just
think now I'm focusing on me. I think one of
the major things that I did, and I don't know,
I think a lot of people do when they're in
relationships is like they put themselves aside and do everything
for that person. And I was doing that and now
I'm no longer doing that. So I think that's why
(37:00):
I feel. I do feel really good, Like I feel
so much better, lighter. I'm not crying anymore like I
used to just like burst into tears like randomly, and
like every now and again, I'll get sad, but I'm
like you know what, Like it's not the sadness that
I used to get. Yeah, it's it's a different sadness. Yeah,
I'm still coming to the terms that it's like it
(37:21):
wasn't real, Like it wasn't real, and that stuff hurts,
But it's a different sad because it's no longer attachment.
It's just like grieving the life, the time, like all
of that.
Speaker 3 (37:32):
And they would have a lot of anger apart for that,
meaning yeah, in a way, you've wasted so much of
that time that like and I remember we spoke about
it a few weeks ago at an event.
Speaker 1 (37:42):
It's like you never in that time of like when.
Speaker 3 (37:45):
You guys would get back together, you break up and
stuff like that, and you would you were single in
that time, you never probably gave someone a chance, even
though they could have been really really good for you.
They could have been the love of your life. But like,
because you had him in the back of your mind,
you an't properly opening yourself up to the receiving that
type of stuff. And that's what I always say, Like
everyone goes like, oh, but I still want to be
(38:06):
friends with my.
Speaker 1 (38:06):
Ex or like I just like like still want him
in my life.
Speaker 3 (38:10):
Or like, yeah, we're not together, but like we sleep
together on like a Saturday night if we're all out.
I'm like, you can say to yourself as much as
you want that you're not together, but if you're still
having that intimate like sexual intimate connection, or you're still
speaking to them here and there every couple of weeks,
you're still holding that attachment that you're not allowing yourself
to meet other people.
Speaker 2 (38:31):
Yeah, you're not. We can see that. We can turn
it off. Well, we can't. As women, we can't emotional people.
Sex is emotional.
Speaker 4 (38:38):
It brings out an emotional like endorphin in us that
makes us fall in love. Like we can't have sex
with our exes and call it sex or call it friendship.
Speaker 2 (38:47):
I called it friendship for a while, yeah with.
Speaker 3 (38:50):
Gasstating yourself, like galating it exactly.
Speaker 4 (38:53):
And I was friends with his friends, so I was like,
we're just friends, but like who reminisced and sometimes kids
like friend's.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
Son, cude, No, we don't walk up and we don't
share a bed, but you're friends.
Speaker 4 (39:04):
I dodn't know, and he knew exactly what he was
doing by like giving me a little every time reminiscing
and being like you're so amazing, you deserve the world,
and you know, I wish things could have been better
for us like that, and then you kind of think, oh,
he still kind of cares about me, you know, and
you hold on hope and you hang out with them,
you hang out with his friends, and yeah, by the
time ten years is over, you're like, I actually never
(39:25):
gave anyone a proper chance.
Speaker 2 (39:27):
So now I'm finally like that's cut.
Speaker 4 (39:29):
I don't think I'm ready to date per se, Like
I'm not going to be on the app swiping or
anything like that.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
But I think if it.
Speaker 3 (39:37):
Happened, I think it actually come to you. Yeah, I
think you need to go like on a girl's trip
or something. Yeah, like one year summer to then like
meet the man, let him sweep your feet.
Speaker 4 (39:47):
And you're like, I want to go to I want
to go to America. I want to go to Texas.
Like I feel like that's wrong.
Speaker 1 (39:52):
You want to like a countryman?
Speaker 2 (39:53):
Yeah on a rant.
Speaker 4 (39:55):
No, but like the men there are men, you know, yeah,
but like they scam me there, but they're so forward
and confident.
Speaker 2 (40:04):
Like they will just come.
Speaker 3 (40:05):
Yeah, I'll be running in the other direction, I'll be
hopping on his horse and saying, get me.
Speaker 2 (40:09):
Out of here. You don't like it, you don't like
the confident.
Speaker 1 (40:13):
No, I don't like like a confident man. I do
like a confident man, but I don't like men who
like me.
Speaker 2 (40:19):
Okay, you're avoidant.
Speaker 1 (40:21):
I have really bad avoidance.
Speaker 2 (40:22):
Okay. Yeah, I'm like anxious at touched. Yeah, which so fair.
Speaker 4 (40:27):
But also like it depends on who. I think that
it depends on who you meet. Like I think you
might be avoidant now, but until you meet someone that
you really like, you might not be that way.
Speaker 2 (40:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (40:36):
Probably, yeah, but I'm just like an avoidant right now.
Speaker 3 (40:39):
And I'm like I push everyone away because I'm like,
trust me, you don't want to be around me. Like,
I'm like, I realized that I am probably not the
best person for you, so I'm like, don't.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
Don't.
Speaker 2 (40:50):
So you're not dating?
Speaker 1 (40:51):
No, I don't date.
Speaker 3 (40:53):
I like, oh, like I will say yes to a
day and then I'm like, I'm not going on that
date because like, and then you be all the time
I did it last night.
Speaker 1 (41:01):
No, I just don't want to be around But that's fine.
Speaker 4 (41:04):
If you're not ready, you're not ready. Like it's like me,
like I'm not going to go on a day It's
going to be a chore for me. Yes, I would
rather just let it happen naturally, Like I want to
meet someone at the gym or like at a cafeudn't mind.
Speaker 1 (41:16):
If someone comes up to you at the gym.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
I wouldn't.
Speaker 4 (41:18):
If I'm finishing my workout, if I'm getting a drink
or something like, I wouldn't mind. Yeah, Like I think
it's like it wouldn't be like unless they're being creepy
about it, Like if it was actually someone those hot,
I wouldn't mind. I think it's different right, Or at
the beach, yeah, or at the beach common.
Speaker 1 (41:35):
Supply maybe just sit out there for a bit atties
to be honest.
Speaker 2 (41:40):
So they're not the greatest of men over there.
Speaker 4 (41:43):
I'm not going to stereotype, but like Sydney man are
not really the greatest.
Speaker 3 (41:47):
I think Australian men in general though it's a known thing.
Like when I went to Europe and then when I
was in America this year, like I've done both places.
Speaker 1 (41:55):
Chivalry isn't dead there.
Speaker 4 (41:57):
No, they actually appreciate women. Yes, my best girlfriend to
Canada with me, and they took her to this bar
and a bunch of my friends worked there, and they
start buying her drinks, like even random guys.
Speaker 2 (42:07):
She goes, did you plan? Did you tell them to
do this?
Speaker 4 (42:10):
And I was like no, this is Canada, Like men
just want to be friends with women, like they actually
just like they think you're they think you're hard. They
want to buy you a drink and they want.
Speaker 2 (42:19):
To hang out with you. Like they're not like.
Speaker 3 (42:21):
In like when I was in London, like any man
would just buy you a drink that not because it's
just like thank you for being here.
Speaker 4 (42:27):
Yeah, and it's like thank you for being here. Do
you want to hang out with my group of friends?
Speaker 2 (42:30):
Yeah? And it's like it's not awkward, it's not in
a weird way.
Speaker 1 (42:34):
They're just like, yeah, come have fun, like let's all
be like one group. Then it's all fun.
Speaker 3 (42:38):
But in Australia it's like if I buy you drink,
it's almost like they want you to get on your
knees and like.
Speaker 1 (42:42):
Be like thank you so much for my vocal.
Speaker 4 (42:44):
I'm sorried off because they're all princesses here. They all
just want princess treatment. Like the amount of men that
are like, oh yeah, like I don't want a girl
to like use me for my money.
Speaker 2 (42:54):
I'm like, what money? Yeah, what do you mean? I
have money? But like take me out on a date,
Like what do you mean?
Speaker 3 (43:03):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (43:03):
I think you need like a you, I think you
need a European man.
Speaker 2 (43:06):
I don't. I like it's so bad.
Speaker 4 (43:09):
I don't know if I like, like we spoke about
this because you were saying all like like your like
fling or whatever. It was like foreign, and I was
like I just couldn't do it. Like I feel like
I like like Aussie men, like you're like a bit
rough around the edges. Little well, I just want to know,
not rough around the edges. And I like a pretty boy, yeah,
like what's your time?
Speaker 2 (43:27):
Tall six five six seven, No, tall.
Speaker 4 (43:35):
Like not like super like like not like dark dark
hair like grizzly or anything, but just like a pretty
boy like clean, clean cut, like like not like blonde,
but like just like you know, I like curly hair
on guys too, super curly.
Speaker 3 (43:49):
But really, well, if any of you guys hit the
description on that, just like find Sarah atbeach and go
up to her, don't message her.
Speaker 1 (43:56):
She doesn't want that go to her gym, stalk her gym,
and just go. But be safe. When it clocs to that,
drop your right, drop your location, where's all of that?
Sarah will be there.
Speaker 3 (44:09):
But yeah, well, thank you so much for coming on
hotter than yesterday and sharing your story about how you
dated a narcissist. I'm so sorry that you went through that,
and thank you for being great entertainment on MATHS even
though it was probably a little bit traumatizing for you.
Speaker 1 (44:24):
But yeah, I really.
Speaker 3 (44:25):
Wish you all the I think something great is coming
for you because you are radiating.
Speaker 1 (44:29):
I think you're the best version of yourself.
Speaker 3 (44:31):
So now something is going to really come through and
you're going to have the.
Speaker 1 (44:36):
Life that you always I appreciate it, right, Thank you, guys,
and I'll see you guys next week. Bye.
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