December 8, 2025 • 36 mins
Welcome back gals! This week we have a jam-packed episode and I couldn't be happier about it. I'm joined again by producer Blake and we are opening up your dilemmas (and hopefully helping solve them!), but we tackle how long should you wait for someone to move on, what to do when your bestie starts dating your ex & whether you can meet the "right" person at the "wrong" time. But before that, I'm talking through the most unhinged encounter I've had on a dating app & how it lead me to learn my craziest pickup line, plus I open up about dating with ADHD and the challenges that come with it. Love you all and will chat with you next week xxx
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Happy Tuesday, guys.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
We've got Blake helping me out with a little bit
of a dilemma diaries because we haven't done one in
so long, and I love those ups with you same.
I feel like I'm someone who tells you what you
need to hear, not what you want to hear. So
sometimes it could be a little blunt, but I just
don't like toying over the truth.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
If I want like a truth overload, I'll hit up Sam.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Yeah that's what all my friends say. It's like she's
never going to like sugarcoat it, and I'm like, why
because I don't want to sugarcoat something for you and
then you three months down the line be like your
advice fucked me over.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Yeah, I will be like I might tell.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
You and you might not like the news now, but
I promise you in three months you're going to turn
around and.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Be like you were right.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
And you do feel like an irresponsible friend when someone
is telling you that dilemma and you're a bit like,
oh okay, maybe scope it out or flash it out
a little bit more, and just like sometimes you should
as a friend just say this seems like bad news. Yeah,
get the fund out and you're never scared to give
that advice.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
No, no, which is sometimes gets me in a little
bit of trouble, but hates my podcast, so my world.
Speaker 4 (01:13):
To leave it.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Yeah, my rules, And we're giving you guys the downright
truth today. Love it or leave it again. Just because
I'm giving you it. The advice doesn't mean you have
to act on it. It's just nice to have in
the back of your mind. And because I'm going in
with the neutral, I don't know anyone, I'm not biased here.
Sometimes your friends might not tell you that, so I'm
(01:34):
gonna tell you it.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
So let's roll in.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Let's go.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
You know what, before we start, Sam, is there a
dilemma in your world right now?
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Dating wise and the thing wise?
Speaker 3 (01:44):
So no, I like petty problem, Okay, My life.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Is very mellow at the moment with like drama, which
is like really nice because I actually hate drama.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
It spikes my coldsols like way too much. I think.
The only dilemma in my life right now, which is.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Like I haven't really spoken about on social media, is
I got diagnosed with ADHD at the start of the
year and I've been like trying to figure it out
since I've come home, and now it's like all the
circle of all my mental health problems, so like my
depression of my anxiety and my ADHD isn't working, like
my mets aren't working because I haven't treated my ADHD.
(02:21):
So that's like the biggest dilemma in my life right now,
because I'm like at a holt because I'm trying to
get on medication for my ADHD, but I need to
then go get go to a different psychiatrist and everything
like that. So that is my big dilemma that's taking
up a lot of my time. And then I watched
this TikTok the other day and before anyone asks, I
have been clinically diagnosed with ADHD.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
So I'm not just like making it as like a
little trend.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
And that's why I haven't really spoken about it on
social media because I feel like everyone goes like, oh,
you just say it as a trend. No, it is
so debilitating in my everyday life. Like if you guys
understood what went through my brain twenty four to seven,
Like the only difference between me and a girl in
a psych word is like I'm out of the sycord. Yeah,
Like I saw the sticks on the other day, I
was like, that's so true, Like I'm walkin streets, but
(03:06):
it's it's harder there.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
So I think. But that's what I've come to a
revolution of with dating.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Is the reason I don't like dating is because my
ADHD brain, if someone asked me to go to dinner
next Wednesday, I'm like, yes, lock it in, and I
overcommit myself. I over make plans because like if I'm
having a like a I'm I all happy and happy Jappian,
like I'm feeling really good in that moment, I feel
like I'll feel feeling that good next Wednesday, and I
(03:32):
like overcommit and I say yes all the plants. Next
Wednesday rolls around and I've committed to so many plans
because last week I was feeling so good that then
I'm tired, I'm overwhelmed, I'm like overstimulated and everything. And
then I don't want to go on that plan. And
then I realized I haven't texted the guy in the
three days because I've just like forgotten about it and
it's not a priority and it's not gonna make me
(03:53):
pay for it. So then dating with ADHD is so
fucking hard, and I get bored quickly, I'm onto the
next thing, and like, if I'm at dinner with you,
I'm thinking about a billion and one other things instead
of like getting to know your favorite color.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Like I just can't.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Be fucked with it. Like I'm not speaking to a
single person. My dam's Sahara desert besides this one man
asking me to buy me a Diortionell bag.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
Yeah, like flood than yesterday. I'm sure, yeah, I might
hit him up.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
I'm sorry, Yeah, we'll share it, but like, oh my
damns are so dry. So it is my hinge hinges
diabolical at the moment. Finally got it back and it's
fucked like it's so bad.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
That's one where you can like and send roses.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Yes, oh yeah, yeah, oh wait, Actually you guys will
find this all funny.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
So I was on hinge. Obviously I'm on hinge. I
don't really go on it a whole lot. But I
saw this one guy and he sent me a rose
HAMI shout out to you.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
He replied.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
One of the things goes we've met before. I've never
heard a pickup line like the one you used on me,
And I was like, what the fuck?
Speaker 1 (05:08):
I've never used pickup lines like I don't. And there's
a it's a going around.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Thing that I'm like a town bike, right, and everyone's like,
oh yeah, Sam's town bike.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
I'm a documentedst.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
It's like, honestly, if you could find like five men
in your vicinity that have slept with me, good fucking luck.
It's like you may also bite a cure for cancer
before that anyway.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
I would like. I was like, what the hell?
Speaker 2 (05:28):
Like I did not like, did not recognize this man.
Like it was like I've never used to pick up
line either, Like what this is how bad my chat is?
Speaker 3 (05:36):
Guys?
Speaker 2 (05:36):
This is how bad my game is. I go, we'd
love to know when we met. He goes, do you
want the long version or the short version? I was like, long, obviously, guys,
this is what he said. I'll literally play this.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
Yeah, incredible.
Speaker 5 (05:50):
He goes, So it was last summer, was at the
Serranto Hotel and I was at the bar and you
taped me on the shoulder and he said, look at
my toe. And I looked down and I'm like, your
tonail was half hanging.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
Off your big toe and I was bleeding and I
looked at you and I was like, okay, And then
do you go, Oh.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
So everyone's saying that I was sleeping with someone in
the stareanto of bathrooms. No bro, I was going up
to people saying, hey, look at my toe. Apparently my
toenail was hanging half off. Tapped him on the shoulder
and goes, look at my toe. He looked at my toe,
and then I walked away.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
What a first impression. I believe this so.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
I like, I honestly I would not put it past myself.
That is so something I would do. I don't even
know if I was like wanting to chat to him
or not, like I must have obviously been drunk, but like, hey,
look at my toe, and then I just walked away.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
And that's like you were like, I'm leading, yes.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
But I'm obviously memorable enough because he matches me on
hinge and said that that was the pickup line I
used on him.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
I don't think if it was necessarily pick up line
because I walked away after.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
I just think I wanted to show someone my toe,
which I do quite a bit.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
Interesting. I have a feet phobia, so like that. As
soon as I heard that, I'm like, yeah, I hate
fee Brand came up to me and showed me I
would actually pass out.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Yeah, I don't know what I was doing that. He's
so iggy of me.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
But he still came back from more. He came back,
showed him the half toe.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
Yeah, so maybe we just have to do things out
a memorable guys on a night out.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Literally.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Also, I found a really good way.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
My friend was trying to like speak to this guy
at Electric on Friday night, and she was trying to
be like, Sam, how do I speak to him? I
don't seek to him. I was like, oh, I was
standing closer to him. So I was like, I'll engage
in the conversation and then like, try me in A
great question to ask a guy if you want to
engage with conversation, what is your favorite golf.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Course to play golf?
Speaker 3 (07:48):
Checks out?
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Genius? Genius?
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Were they like saying?
Speaker 2 (07:53):
He was like, oh my god, I love this golf
course in Tasmania.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
And then I go, Lily, do you know have you
been a tazzi? And then job was done, walked away.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
I would have to like pivot to something else as
soon as you one course, I'd like, Okay, I don't
know what you're talking.
Speaker 4 (08:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
I was checked out by that, but I think It's
a good way to engage it, very clever because like
most men like golf.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
Oh my god, to really sell the dating tips.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
Yeah right there.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Another one that I thought was really good at Derby
Day is asking what bets you should place?
Speaker 3 (08:24):
Clever. That got me there too, and like they'll get
like a little burst of excitement so they know all
about the horses, jockey and how they bring the past
three races.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
It dick feel big for a little bit and just
like you do that.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Yeah, and then if they win for you, then they've
got the upper hand. And if they lose for you,
then you can like kind of like flirt bullying and
be like, can we lose fifty bucks? Not that I
support betting you win some you lose more out there.
But if you want to get in with the guy,
there you go. They're my two pickup lines. I'll all
(08:58):
show someone your toe. Yeah, it's memorable.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
Which has work. It has worked, so we've got a voice.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
Think outside the box, ladies.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
But anyway, we're rolling in with the dilemmas.
Speaker 3 (09:11):
Hit me, let's jump in.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Blake's going to read them because I've got dislicks here.
Speaker 3 (09:15):
Amazing. I was actually wondering, Yeah, I can't read out
that submission number one, Hey girl, I love the podcast.
I'm really unsure what to do here and would love
your advice. I met this guy through my best friend
at the start of this year, and we'll seeing each
other until the end of August. We're never officially dating,
but we're glued to each other, and neither of us
slept or talked to anyone else in this period. By coincidence,
(09:39):
I very much thought he was going to be my
next boyfriend, and I was so happy because he was
so sweet and funny, basically a male version of me,
which was really refreshing, as I had been in an
extremely toxic and controlling relationship that lasted for two years
ending last year. However, at the end of August he
ended up. He ended things with me because there was
(10:00):
a two hour distance. He was studying to get into
med school and also had to get heart surgery. I
was absolutely heartbroken, but understood his side completely. Fast forward
to the start of October. I had a rough couple
of months dealing with the breakup, and unfortunately my grandma
passed away in this time as well.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Oh I'm so sorry, girl. Got it rough.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
One random Sunday. I was deathly hungover and was thinking
about how sad I was that he hadn't messaged me
in a while.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
The loneliness on a Sunday.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Honestly, I could write a fucking talk about this. I
love being single until Sunday rolls around. Even Vogue goes
boyfriends are overrated until a Sunday.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
All right, we'll revisit this on Monday, no joke. Two
hours later, he messaged me with his beautiful message about
how he was sorry my grandma had passed. I thanked
him and proceeded to ask how he was going, and
he opened up to me about how he felt really
isolated and was wondering if he could call. We called
that night for three hours until one am, and he
opened up immensely about a number of things. I told
(11:04):
him the next day that if he wanted to catch
up before his heart surgery, I'd be open to it.
As friends. We ended up seeing each other a week
later and unexpectedly slept together.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
No, friends don't do that any I don't sleep with
my friends.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
No, he's extremely respectful, and then I got my hopes
up that he might want to be with me in
the future. We talked so much every day, a number
one on each other's best friend's list, which I know
doesn't matter, but it kind of means something I don't know,
and we call a lot. I'm struggling with depression and
anxiety and tend to overthink a lot, especially when it
(11:41):
comes to relationships because of my past with them. The
other day, we had a chat where he basically said, now, situationally,
things are still the same and we can't be together.
I was so hurt, but in a way I expected
it and blamed myself for getting my hopes up. I
then asked why he slept with me when he didn't
want anything romantic with me. He apologized and said it
(12:02):
was really selfish and irresponsible of him, and that he
regretted it not because he didn't enjoy it, but because
he can see how that would have hurt me. I
accept his very emotionally mature I know, my God. I
accept his apology, but I'm so so hurt by it.
I do not sleep around, so having sex with someone
is usually pretty big for me. Basically, I'm really unsure
(12:22):
whether I should stay in contact with him. He's one
of my best friends and we have so much fun. Together,
but I really don't know if it's best for my
mental health. I don't want to leave him while he's
recovering from his heart surgery, but I really am struggling
myself and feel like I may have to. I am
just so sick of feeling so hurt by guys, and
I hate the feeling of giving more than I receive.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Wow, Wow, you're going through a lot. Firtively, you're going
through a lot yourself. But like, yes, this man's just
had heart surgery, but you need to stop putting his
situation and his feelings before yours, because at that it's
an expense of your health. And like your mental health,
your depression and your anxiety. You've just lost your grandma,
like you've gone through a toxic relationship.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
And I don't agree with the saying.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
I think it's like people are in two minds about it,
being like there is never the wrong time for the
right person. Like everyone goes like do you know that saying?
Is that the right saying of Like if they wanted to,
they would, and like, yeah, there's never a wrong time.
I completely disagree. If my perfect man was stood in
(13:29):
front of me right now, I still wouldn't be able
to be in the committed relationship with him. I wouldn't
be able to give everything that I should be giving
in a relationship, and he wouldn't be treated the way
that I want to be treating my partner. And no
matter what, if he's the right person, it would then
be at the expense of my health, my well being
(13:52):
and everything like that. And that's where he's kind of at.
You might be the right person for him, but right
now in this situation, it is not the right time
for him. He's got a massive heart surgery. He's just
had a massive heart surgery. He's studying medicine, which is
so time consuming.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
That if you were to date him.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
You wouldn't be a priority in his life, which is
then why the relationship would end up being over because
he's studying medicine that is a massive, massive degree that
balancing a new relationship and new girlfriend with a two
hour time difference like it wouldn't work. But he also
hasn't had the feeling of losing you because you speak
(14:31):
to him every day that you're also by speaking to
him every day, and like he's expressed that he can't
be there in the way that he should be for
you and that this relationship isn't the right thing for him.
You also staying around isn't ever going to make him
realize that you're not going to be in his life
in this situation. He's he's gone, I can't be your
(14:52):
boyfriend right now, I can't date you right now, But
then I'm still going to speak.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
To you every single day. He's got the best of
the both worlds.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
He's having his caking and eating it too, don't I
think he's being disrespectful necessarily to you because you're also
allowing that, But like he's never going to have to
work hard for you to either one get you back
or realize what he's missing out on because you're right
there and they're picking up from when he needs and
obviously because you do really like him and I completely
(15:18):
understand that. But what's meant for you will not pass you,
and you're obviously going through a lot right now. I
think you need to focus on your own mental health,
Like stop putting him and how he feels before that,
because at the end of the day, you're putting a
lot of your validation and how you're maybe feeling into
like him replying you guys talking you guys calling and
(15:41):
because you're so used to that, like it's an addiction.
The only way you're getting that dopamine he is from
him and texting him and him calling him, telling you
about your day, you telling that. I can guarantee you
have someone in your life or someone that will come
in your life that will mask that or be there
for the same way that he is.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
He's not the.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Bee's knees be all and or Yeah, you just both
of you aren't in the place right now to give
you what you need. But you're holding onto what could be.
But right now that's not what is showing you in
present day. Yeah, so it's so hard to remove yourself
from that, but you need to give it twenty one
days twenty one days of no contact.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
It takes three weeks to build a habit.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
And like, right now it's just a habit of you
speaking to him, not necessarily because you've got this undeniable
connection that you'll never find with anybody else.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
And he's the love of your life.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
No, like you're in the middle of too. Like both
of you are in the middle of so many big
life events. This sounds a bit strategic to say, but
I don't think either of you are going anywhere, Like
it still sounds like they're very stuck in their situations.
That's okay. I have so many friends, so we're like
both at the same time or at different times, going
(16:54):
through different things. So it's just a bit of like
we'll pick this up in a few months or like
we'll chat you know, at this later day. Yeah, I
think it's fine to supark things. And if the concern
is around him feeling isolated after the surgery, I don't
think you're solely responsible.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
No, you know his mother and again like, yes, he's
going through a really really big time, but he would
be going through that really really big time even if
you weren't there. It's not your responsibility to look after
someone and to be there for someone you're not dating him. Yeah,
if you were his girlfriend, then you felt if you're
about this situation, then you're like, I don't know whether
(17:30):
that guy I want to break up with him, but
he's going through this really hard time. I'd be like,
hold off. He's going through enough right now. His heart's
already hurting physically. You don't need to break it. But
he has called this off with you that you don't
then shouldn't feel a responsibility to be there for him.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Because he's called it off.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Yeah, he wanted that, So then don't feel like you
still need to be around you don't.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
And it's a hard dynamic when the guy doesn't want
a relationship, but it's still fine to see the girls.
So it's and the onus is on the gal to
kind of manage her feelings and manage how she reacts
after having sex. Like, I don't think anything will change
for him if you keep spending time with him.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
Yeah, because he's got it.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
He's compartmentalized already in his head. You haven't compartmentalized it,
which is so okay, and that's so normal. But because
he's the one who's kind of put in the boundaries
and then you have openly willing to go ahead and
overstep your own boundaries, that's not his fault, yeah, you know,
because he has put in those boundaries. So as hard
(18:33):
as it is, you have to just kind of stick
to your own word and like hold yourself to it,
which is so fucking hard. But like, yeah, it's hard,
But at the same time, like I have this person
in my life. I think they're amazing and I could
really see us being together maybe.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
One day, but right now not at all.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
And I'm like, if we were to try now, I
can just tell it would be over very very quickly,
because neither of us are in the right headspace. And
I'm the one who's then put in that boundary, and
if they choose to continue to try to push it,
I'm like, I've put up that boundary.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
I've let you know where I'm at.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
If you still want to continue to walk over that,
then don't use it against me. If I end up
hurting you, or if I don't reply to your text,
or if I don't want to see you, don't then
be like, oh that's so mean, YadA, YadA, YadA, because
I've told you where I'm at. If you're then continuing
to push aside that and think it doesn't matter, that's
(19:33):
on you.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
Yeah you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
I do makes sense?
Speaker 3 (19:37):
Yeah, And it's just like, I think the only part
we're holding on too, because if this was another submission
and the guy wasn't so respectful and communicative about the boundaries,
I'd be saying, get rid of this man. But like,
it seems like there's potentially something good there, so you
don't want to jeopardize that because you want to.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
He seems so respectful. I just don't think it's your time. Yeah,
and maybe he's just a lesson. Maybe you've just had
a really good experience with a guy and he's amazing
and everything like that, and you know the quality so
he has and he presents you want in your next partner. Yeah,
he could just be teaching you something. Not everything has
to have like a long life.
Speaker 3 (20:16):
No, So I know that's like really open and but
I'd hold some space if it were to happen in
the future, but like absolutely be your priority right now.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Yeah, I definitely think cut back on the communication.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
Yeah, start and he'll still be around.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Yeah. He seems like a lovely guy.
Speaker 3 (20:30):
He does. We don't shoot ourselves in the foot there.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
Yeah, let us know how it goes. Love a follow up?
Speaker 3 (20:41):
All right? Submission number two. Hi, I need help. Hey.
I was living with my boyfriend, his brother, and his
brother's girlfriend.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
I'm so sorry.
Speaker 3 (20:50):
Literally I moved out two weeks ago due to an
argument with my boyfriend's brother and his girlfriend, not liking
how they live and for my boyfriend and my relationship
as we were becoming like roommates rather than housemaids. Now,
my boyfriend's brother and his girlfriend, well, sorry, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
This girl had a fight with the boyfriend's brother and
his girlfriend. Yeah, and she didn't doesn't like where her boyfriends.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
She doesn't like how they're living their habits, and now
she's feeling like her boyfriend's her roommate rather than a boyfriend. Okay, Now,
my boyfriend's brother and his girlfriend want me to keep
paying at least one hundred to one hundred and fifty
dollars in RAND because I will be sleeping over for
my boyfriend. I personally don't agree with paying RAND as
the most I will be saying. There will be two
(21:36):
nights a week max. When we all moved in, we
had someone staying with us for three weeks five nights
a week, and he was paying one hundred dollars. So
I don't think I should be paying the same if
I'm not living there and they won't take me off
the lease. I've never lived out of home, so I
don't know if this is an expectation with everyone who
moves out, or if I'm in the right and should
(21:56):
not be paying RAND. I hope this makes sense.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
Okay, I've had very very similar situation, and this is
how we came to the conclusion. Okay, well, actually the
conclusion that we ended up doing is I just moved
out with my ex boyfriend and we didn't live with
the group. But I was kind of going to do
the same thing with my ex.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
I was going to move out with.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
It was going to be him and I and then
his mate and his girlfriends, so there's going to be
two couples in the house. And originally it was just
going to be the two boys lived together, but both
of them had girlfriends, and we were like, well, we're
going to be over here quite a bit, Like we
probably should contribute one hundred to one hundred and fifty
dollars a rent a week if you're staying in there,
because we kind of had the mindset of like, if
(22:37):
these two boys are going to be living out of home,
we're going to be there quite a bit, we probably
should contribute more money to the rent so then they
can get a bigger space. And then all of this
stuff kind of came up. So I can completely understand
where your mind is at with this, and like they're
sayings behind it and everything like that. My rule of
thumb would be, if you're staying more than two it's
(23:00):
a week.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
If you're strictly.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
Saying that, you're probably only going to be staying there
on the weekends, which.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Is what you said.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
So I'll take that as verbatim for you. And I
don't think you should be contributing to your rent, because
what one hundred dollars a week, that's fifty bucks a night.
That's not how much they're paying if they're paying like
three hundred dollars a week, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (23:19):
So I think that's a bit excessive.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
But I think you should say, Hey, if I'm staying
at your house every Wednesday, I'm cooking food for you guys,
I'll buy you your food dinners on me. I'll contribute
in something like that. And I think you should contribute
something like that, or even be like, I'll contribute to some.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
Of the water bill.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
I do think in a perspective, when you guys are
all living out of home and you're popping in and out,
you should be contributing to something of the house because
running a house in this economy is very very expensive,
especially when you're all probably on like low salaries. Like,
I'm assuming that you're kind of my age. Either you
don't have a full time job or you're in a
(23:59):
startup position where you're scraping the barrel, So like I, yeah,
I can completely understand. I can completely like sympathize with
the rest of the house being like this girl's popping
in and out whenever she pleases. She used to live here,
but now she doesn't. I can completely understand that in
some way that you should contribute. Do I think directly
to the rent?
Speaker 1 (24:19):
No.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
In saying that, though, I think if you're staying more
than two or three nights a week, you definitely should.
Like when I was going to live at home but
then stay at my ex's house, I probably would have
been staying there four or five nights a week. I
was willing and openly suggested that I would contribute one
hundred to one hundred and fifty dollars a week in
(24:40):
rent because I'm staying there, and then I don't feel
like I'm intruding. I don't feel like I don't have
a place. There's no resentment involved because I'm contributing to something.
So I do understand why they do want something. It's
your space you're a living, breathing person in that space
(25:01):
and to walk freely around. I do think there would
be some resentment build up. Two nights a week be
my guest. I think you should contribute to dinner shah,
everyone groceries, and you make the big voka pasta for
one night, and couldtribute in that way because then they're
kind of like, oh, she's been nice, like she's helping out,
she's paying her pay.
Speaker 3 (25:20):
Yeah, I think that's fine. And like, as for the
sanity of being a guest, like I prefer to do
that so I always have something tangible. I'm like, no,
I did contribute in that way, so like, I don't
feel terrible for being here, because it's so easy to
feel like you're invading someone's space. I think it's complicated
that she used to live there as well, and it
seems have only brought up rent since the argument, so
(25:44):
I don't think the rent is overly reasonable, although I
do see a world where it is fair, like these
people could really be living week to week and this
money really matters to them.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
Yeah, but does because then their rent increases because you've.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
Left, Yeah, And then also like the bills are probably
more expensive because there's another head in the house as well.
I don't think the rent is totally fair, but yeah,
perfectly said in that you should be contributing something. I
think maybe you're feeling a bit stung because it's come
just after the argument.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
I think the way you could probably approach this is
go like, hey, I don't think paying rent.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
Is all that fair.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
Get chat GPT up, write down what I'm saying, type
it in your notes, then put into GPT rewrite this
to my boyfriend's brothers, friends and housemates. So hey, like,
I really appreciate you bringing this issue up with me,
as I think I'm only going to be staying there
one to two nights a week, I would I don't
think contributing to your rent is.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
All that fair.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
Happy to help out with groceries and dinners for the
nights that I'm there. I'm even happy to cook you
guys all dinner or you will take away as my
way of contributing to the household. But I don't think
it's necessarily fair that I'm paying rent sing I'm not
really sure how many times a week got to live there.
If I end up staying there more nights a week,
I'm happy to revisit this and possibly think about contributing
(27:06):
to rent if I end up.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Staying there a lot more often.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
But I think for the start, let's maybe just see
if I can contribute to the deal mealks or something
like that.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
I think that's a night.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
Also want to put it, rewrite that into.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
Chatch ePAT, take out the dashes, a little bit of
an emoji here and there, sign off with an X,
and you're good to go.
Speaker 3 (27:23):
Give her some good directions. It sounds sweet.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
Yeah, I hope you're well, guys, and.
Speaker 3 (27:28):
Let us know how this goes very common.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
So it is a very funishing.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
Because if I if my housemate got a boyfriend and
he was there five nights a week and he wasn't
contributing anything, it would be it would boil something up
inside of me because this is my house. If I
want to walk if this is Bowby's dream house, I
want to walk around naked. But then your boyfriend, your
friend's boyfriend's there, so he's like I have to always
make sure I'm dressed, or it's like, oh he's got
his fucking protein shakes in the fucking bridge where I
(27:54):
want to put my milk, Like those things when they're
not your boyfriend. Really you really start to tick what
you're leaving your toiletry bag on my bench?
Speaker 1 (28:03):
No, brother, get it out.
Speaker 3 (28:05):
That's like going in the bin.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
When you live out of home and you're paying everything yourself,
that stuff really.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
Starts to build up.
Speaker 3 (28:12):
You unfortunately become your parents. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
So if like my boyfriend's friend was like contributing to
like dinner or something I would like, I'd be like, okay, yeah,
you can leave your toiletries there.
Speaker 3 (28:20):
Yeah, thank you so much for the mettal health. It
softens the blow.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, it oftens the blow. Or if
he shouts a coffee or something like that. My friend
doesn't have a boyfriend, so it's we're chilling, Lily and
I all right.
Speaker 3 (28:32):
Submission at number three. Number three, Hey babe, sobabe, of
my best friends is dating my ex behind my back.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
The way I found out was totally fucked up. She
lied to me about the whole timeline, even when I
asked about specifics. We aren't friends anymore, but she remains
in my friendship group. Boom, I have to see photos
of my ex with people I care about. I leave
myself out of situation, so I don't have to be
near either of them. How do I just accept it
and move on? I don't care that they're together. It
(29:01):
says more about her than that does me. But I
just struggle to understand and accept and let it go,
especially now that he's around friends of mine and will
be places where I am. Advice on this little dilemma
would be fab Wow, this is really hard.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
First of all, I know it's so fucking shit that
like one of your friends was dating your explosion behind
your back and everything like that.
Speaker 1 (29:23):
And I obviously don't know timelines, Like I don't know how.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
If there was a crossover period hall long ago you
dated this guy. I'm just talking about a rule of
thumb here where I think if you have broken up
over two years ago, that man not necessarily for your
immediate friendship group that man has, you have no ownership
over that man anymore. Like, even if it's not in
your situation, if it's a friend of a friend or
(29:46):
you know of them, you're kind of in the same
social scene, you can't then get mad at that girl
that he's now dating your ex if it's from over
two years ago.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (29:56):
Yeah it is, so like I agree, and like these
some as come up so often it's like what is
the rule? Like what actually is? Yeah, we can all
agree on.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
Because like everyone is connected these days, especially in Melbourne.
Everyone I know, like if you're if I'm interested in
a guy, I'm going to be upsetting one girl, whether
I like it or.
Speaker 3 (30:15):
Not, like whether you know about it or yeah exactly.
Speaker 2 (30:18):
So like I just think in a general rule a
two year thing of like if I knew of someone
and not in a friendship group, I'm not saying this
is for you because like she was your friend, so
I think that's very different. Like I wouldn't go dating
if I knew the boyfriend when he was dating you.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
I think that's weird.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
But like rule of thumb, even if your friends are friends,
I don't think it should really matter because like, oh,
she's just gonna be upsetting everyone.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
Not the point.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
I think it's really hard for you obviously because you're
seeing it in real life, but like know that this
man wasn't for you and that he wasn't the person
for you, and this girl obviously you don't agree with
her rules, so like yeah, yes it makes you mad,
and yes, it pisces you off and everything like that.
But the only person you're annoying is yourself. Like if
(31:08):
you're having it into your mind every social situation, saying
you're going to be going and seeing Jack and Betty there,
and then you've got this all up in your head,
you've worked your way up about it and everything like that.
To be so blatantly upfront with you, Jack and Betty
don't give a fuck, like they do not care, like
they're not sympathizing with you. They openly did it behind
(31:29):
your back, Like Betty wasn't sympathizing with you when she
was talking up with him behind your back, like she
doesn't give a fuck. So you giving a fuck. The
only person you're pissing off is yourself. I know it's
so much easier so than done, just to let go
and let them do whatever they want, but karma's going
to hit them in a completely different way. Just relinquish
all control about it. Just like, go have fun. You
(31:51):
know that the people if you're going to the same
social group and Jack and Betty are going to be there.
You know you've got Sally and Alex and all your
other friends and.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
Everyone else there. Just don't fucking worry about them.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
Just do your own thing, have a lot of fun.
Like so much easier said than done. But like you
almost have to gaslight yourself in the situation that they
do not matter what they do, what their actions, has
no reflection upon you. It's only them and it's just
none of your business. Like act that they are invisible.
Don't say hi, Just like do whatever you want. Because
(32:24):
I know that I go to social group like social things,
and there are people that I've had run ins with
before and that I don't necessarily like we don't agree
on each other. If I have in my head the
whole time before the event, at the event and everything,
like oh my god, I wonder what they're thinking. Oh
my god, I'm so anxious because they're here. I can't
enjoy myself because they're here.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
What are they doing? What are they thinking?
Speaker 2 (32:44):
And if you're constantly thinking about them, you're having a
miserable time. But you also have to think in your mind,
they know you're going to be there, they know that
they have done something wrong to you. They're going to
be wondering what they're thinking like you're thinking, and just
be like.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
They're intimidated by me too.
Speaker 2 (32:59):
They're going to know that I have a problem with them.
Just don't give it a bar, fake it till you
make it, and then it's gonna bush off into the
disappearance and then next second you're actually just Daty's best
friend look up with his best friend.
Speaker 3 (33:14):
I'm not opposed to that idea either. It feels like
a bit of a game in those settings because it's
hard to even get out of your own head, but
you do have to get into their head as well,
And unfairly you're a bit of a villain in their
minds because you're the one person they know has a
qualm with you. Yeah, and you're probably the one person
in that room that they're wrong. So like automatically you're
a bit of a villain in their mind. So I
(33:35):
think it says so much if you go, that's so unbothered.
You know, you don't want that friend. You don't want
that boyfriend.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
Biggest revenge is, yeah, exactly put yourself in their shoes.
You don't want to be that type of friend. You
don't want to be that you had that man. You
don't want that man anymore. So there's no reason for
you to show any emotion towards that because you're sitting
you've got the upper hand and just like know that
and the best revenge silence. Yeah, don't react, don't say anything,
(34:04):
no side digs, no nothing, Just walk into that party
with your head held high, smiling, fake it, babe, because
I'd be faking it. But like let it be just
like relinquish all control and just be like whatever. Yeah,
I don't want to be in their position. I'm glad
that that position's not me. I'm glad I wouldn't treat
my friend like that. I'm glad I don't understand your
(34:24):
situation because I would never do that. And then just
kind of party on. Yeah, pop a tequila shot and
look up with his best mate.
Speaker 3 (34:32):
I know we've kind of like lectured this one, but
must I say this listener. She seems so unbothered. She's
actually like so mature in her feelings. I'm almost a
bit like girl, you can get a bit more angrier
than you are as well, which seems backhanded to everything
love just said. But like coud, I'll see you with
where you're at at the moment, being super forgiving. You
want to keep it moving. Not many people do, like
(34:53):
people actually just want to sit in that anger. So
well done. I think you've already got like ninety percent
of the work done.
Speaker 1 (34:58):
Yeah, it's just a bit of exposure therapy. It gets
easier every.
Speaker 2 (35:02):
Time, badly, but yeah, I'm so glad I like don't
have that.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
It'd be so annoying.
Speaker 2 (35:08):
But like I'm very good at acting on faced into situations.
I'm just like okay, yeah, and I always say it's
a blessing. You don't understand why they do that. Why
you don't understand that because you would never do it yourself.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
To just be grateful that you.
Speaker 3 (35:20):
Have that perspective. Yeah, and when you find out the truth,
you're probably like, oh, I did not want to know that.
Like that's disturbing.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
Yeah, my heart goes out to you, though you're killing it.
Speaker 3 (35:29):
Like I'm not very anxious for you in this setting,
Like I think you're going to slay the house just
look up with his best man end a story period.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
That's like so evil villain of me to say that,
but like I'm just joking.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
All right, guys, Well, thank you so much. We only
did three dilemmas, but I feel like it was a
chatty one. These were like once to dissect.
Speaker 3 (35:48):
Yeah, and let us know, like how regularly you want
the yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
Well, they're so fun to film. I like knowing all
the drama, and we.
Speaker 3 (35:54):
Like bringing their community in a well, of course.
Speaker 2 (35:57):
And I hope you guys like my pickup lines about
my toes. Always use them if you want. Don't say
I don't help you guys out.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
So and I'll see you guys next Tuesday. What of
wom Bye Little Wom
Happy Tuesday, guys.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
We've got Blake helping me out with a little bit
of a dilemma diaries because we haven't done one in
so long, and I love those ups with you same.
I feel like I'm someone who tells you what you
need to hear, not what you want to hear. So
sometimes it could be a little blunt, but I just
don't like toying over the truth.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
If I want like a truth overload, I'll hit up Sam.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Yeah that's what all my friends say. It's like she's
never going to like sugarcoat it, and I'm like, why
because I don't want to sugarcoat something for you and
then you three months down the line be like your
advice fucked me over.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Yeah, I will be like I might tell.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
You and you might not like the news now, but
I promise you in three months you're going to turn
around and.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Be like you were right.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
And you do feel like an irresponsible friend when someone
is telling you that dilemma and you're a bit like,
oh okay, maybe scope it out or flash it out
a little bit more, and just like sometimes you should
as a friend just say this seems like bad news. Yeah,
get the fund out and you're never scared to give
that advice.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
No, no, which is sometimes gets me in a little
bit of trouble, but hates my podcast, so my world.
Speaker 4 (01:13):
To leave it.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Yeah, my rules, And we're giving you guys the downright
truth today. Love it or leave it again. Just because
I'm giving you it. The advice doesn't mean you have
to act on it. It's just nice to have in
the back of your mind. And because I'm going in
with the neutral, I don't know anyone, I'm not biased here.
Sometimes your friends might not tell you that, so I'm
(01:34):
gonna tell you it.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
So let's roll in.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Let's go.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
You know what, before we start, Sam, is there a
dilemma in your world right now?
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Dating wise and the thing wise?
Speaker 3 (01:44):
So no, I like petty problem, Okay, My life.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Is very mellow at the moment with like drama, which
is like really nice because I actually hate drama.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
It spikes my coldsols like way too much. I think.
The only dilemma in my life right now, which is.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Like I haven't really spoken about on social media, is
I got diagnosed with ADHD at the start of the
year and I've been like trying to figure it out
since I've come home, and now it's like all the
circle of all my mental health problems, so like my
depression of my anxiety and my ADHD isn't working, like
my mets aren't working because I haven't treated my ADHD.
(02:21):
So that's like the biggest dilemma in my life right now,
because I'm like at a holt because I'm trying to
get on medication for my ADHD, but I need to
then go get go to a different psychiatrist and everything
like that. So that is my big dilemma that's taking
up a lot of my time. And then I watched
this TikTok the other day and before anyone asks, I
have been clinically diagnosed with ADHD.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
So I'm not just like making it as like a
little trend.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
And that's why I haven't really spoken about it on
social media because I feel like everyone goes like, oh,
you just say it as a trend. No, it is
so debilitating in my everyday life. Like if you guys
understood what went through my brain twenty four to seven,
Like the only difference between me and a girl in
a psych word is like I'm out of the sycord. Yeah,
Like I saw the sticks on the other day, I
was like, that's so true, Like I'm walkin streets, but
(03:06):
it's it's harder there.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
So I think. But that's what I've come to a
revolution of with dating.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Is the reason I don't like dating is because my
ADHD brain, if someone asked me to go to dinner
next Wednesday, I'm like, yes, lock it in, and I
overcommit myself. I over make plans because like if I'm
having a like a I'm I all happy and happy Jappian,
like I'm feeling really good in that moment, I feel
like I'll feel feeling that good next Wednesday, and I
(03:32):
like overcommit and I say yes all the plants. Next
Wednesday rolls around and I've committed to so many plans
because last week I was feeling so good that then
I'm tired, I'm overwhelmed, I'm like overstimulated and everything. And
then I don't want to go on that plan. And
then I realized I haven't texted the guy in the
three days because I've just like forgotten about it and
it's not a priority and it's not gonna make me
(03:53):
pay for it. So then dating with ADHD is so
fucking hard, and I get bored quickly, I'm onto the
next thing, and like, if I'm at dinner with you,
I'm thinking about a billion and one other things instead
of like getting to know your favorite color.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Like I just can't.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Be fucked with it. Like I'm not speaking to a
single person. My dam's Sahara desert besides this one man
asking me to buy me a Diortionell bag.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
Yeah, like flood than yesterday. I'm sure, yeah, I might
hit him up.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
I'm sorry, Yeah, we'll share it, but like, oh my
damns are so dry. So it is my hinge hinges
diabolical at the moment. Finally got it back and it's
fucked like it's so bad.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
That's one where you can like and send roses.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Yes, oh yeah, yeah, oh wait, Actually you guys will
find this all funny.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
So I was on hinge. Obviously I'm on hinge. I
don't really go on it a whole lot. But I
saw this one guy and he sent me a rose
HAMI shout out to you.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
He replied.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
One of the things goes we've met before. I've never
heard a pickup line like the one you used on me,
And I was like, what the fuck?
Speaker 1 (05:08):
I've never used pickup lines like I don't. And there's
a it's a going around.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Thing that I'm like a town bike, right, and everyone's like,
oh yeah, Sam's town bike.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
I'm a documentedst.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
It's like, honestly, if you could find like five men
in your vicinity that have slept with me, good fucking luck.
It's like you may also bite a cure for cancer
before that anyway.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
I would like. I was like, what the hell?
Speaker 2 (05:28):
Like I did not like, did not recognize this man.
Like it was like I've never used to pick up
line either, Like what this is how bad my chat is?
Speaker 3 (05:36):
Guys?
Speaker 2 (05:36):
This is how bad my game is. I go, we'd
love to know when we met. He goes, do you
want the long version or the short version? I was like, long, obviously, guys,
this is what he said. I'll literally play this.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
Yeah, incredible.
Speaker 5 (05:50):
He goes, So it was last summer, was at the
Serranto Hotel and I was at the bar and you
taped me on the shoulder and he said, look at
my toe. And I looked down and I'm like, your
tonail was half hanging.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
Off your big toe and I was bleeding and I
looked at you and I was like, okay, And then
do you go, Oh.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
So everyone's saying that I was sleeping with someone in
the stareanto of bathrooms. No bro, I was going up
to people saying, hey, look at my toe. Apparently my
toenail was hanging half off. Tapped him on the shoulder
and goes, look at my toe. He looked at my toe,
and then I walked away.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
What a first impression. I believe this so.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
I like, I honestly I would not put it past myself.
That is so something I would do. I don't even
know if I was like wanting to chat to him
or not, like I must have obviously been drunk, but like, hey,
look at my toe, and then I just walked away.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
And that's like you were like, I'm leading, yes.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
But I'm obviously memorable enough because he matches me on
hinge and said that that was the pickup line I
used on him.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
I don't think if it was necessarily pick up line
because I walked away after.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
I just think I wanted to show someone my toe,
which I do quite a bit.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
Interesting. I have a feet phobia, so like that. As
soon as I heard that, I'm like, yeah, I hate
fee Brand came up to me and showed me I
would actually pass out.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Yeah, I don't know what I was doing that. He's
so iggy of me.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
But he still came back from more. He came back,
showed him the half toe.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
Yeah, so maybe we just have to do things out
a memorable guys on a night out.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Literally.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Also, I found a really good way.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
My friend was trying to like speak to this guy
at Electric on Friday night, and she was trying to
be like, Sam, how do I speak to him? I
don't seek to him. I was like, oh, I was
standing closer to him. So I was like, I'll engage
in the conversation and then like, try me in A
great question to ask a guy if you want to
engage with conversation, what is your favorite golf.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Course to play golf?
Speaker 3 (07:48):
Checks out?
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Genius? Genius?
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Were they like saying?
Speaker 2 (07:53):
He was like, oh my god, I love this golf
course in Tasmania.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
And then I go, Lily, do you know have you
been a tazzi? And then job was done, walked away.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
I would have to like pivot to something else as
soon as you one course, I'd like, Okay, I don't
know what you're talking.
Speaker 4 (08:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
I was checked out by that, but I think It's
a good way to engage it, very clever because like
most men like golf.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
Oh my god, to really sell the dating tips.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
Yeah right there.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Another one that I thought was really good at Derby
Day is asking what bets you should place?
Speaker 3 (08:24):
Clever. That got me there too, and like they'll get
like a little burst of excitement so they know all
about the horses, jockey and how they bring the past
three races.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
It dick feel big for a little bit and just
like you do that.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Yeah, and then if they win for you, then they've
got the upper hand. And if they lose for you,
then you can like kind of like flirt bullying and
be like, can we lose fifty bucks? Not that I
support betting you win some you lose more out there.
But if you want to get in with the guy,
there you go. They're my two pickup lines. I'll all
(08:58):
show someone your toe. Yeah, it's memorable.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
Which has work. It has worked, so we've got a voice.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
Think outside the box, ladies.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
But anyway, we're rolling in with the dilemmas.
Speaker 3 (09:11):
Hit me, let's jump in.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Blake's going to read them because I've got dislicks here.
Speaker 3 (09:15):
Amazing. I was actually wondering, Yeah, I can't read out
that submission number one, Hey girl, I love the podcast.
I'm really unsure what to do here and would love
your advice. I met this guy through my best friend
at the start of this year, and we'll seeing each
other until the end of August. We're never officially dating,
but we're glued to each other, and neither of us
slept or talked to anyone else in this period. By coincidence,
(09:39):
I very much thought he was going to be my
next boyfriend, and I was so happy because he was
so sweet and funny, basically a male version of me,
which was really refreshing, as I had been in an
extremely toxic and controlling relationship that lasted for two years
ending last year. However, at the end of August he
ended up. He ended things with me because there was
(10:00):
a two hour distance. He was studying to get into
med school and also had to get heart surgery. I
was absolutely heartbroken, but understood his side completely. Fast forward
to the start of October. I had a rough couple
of months dealing with the breakup, and unfortunately my grandma
passed away in this time as well.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Oh I'm so sorry, girl. Got it rough.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
One random Sunday. I was deathly hungover and was thinking
about how sad I was that he hadn't messaged me
in a while.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
The loneliness on a Sunday.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Honestly, I could write a fucking talk about this. I
love being single until Sunday rolls around. Even Vogue goes
boyfriends are overrated until a Sunday.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
All right, we'll revisit this on Monday, no joke. Two
hours later, he messaged me with his beautiful message about
how he was sorry my grandma had passed. I thanked
him and proceeded to ask how he was going, and
he opened up to me about how he felt really
isolated and was wondering if he could call. We called
that night for three hours until one am, and he
opened up immensely about a number of things. I told
(11:04):
him the next day that if he wanted to catch
up before his heart surgery, I'd be open to it.
As friends. We ended up seeing each other a week
later and unexpectedly slept together.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
No, friends don't do that any I don't sleep with
my friends.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
No, he's extremely respectful, and then I got my hopes
up that he might want to be with me in
the future. We talked so much every day, a number
one on each other's best friend's list, which I know
doesn't matter, but it kind of means something I don't know,
and we call a lot. I'm struggling with depression and
anxiety and tend to overthink a lot, especially when it
(11:41):
comes to relationships because of my past with them. The
other day, we had a chat where he basically said, now, situationally,
things are still the same and we can't be together.
I was so hurt, but in a way I expected
it and blamed myself for getting my hopes up. I
then asked why he slept with me when he didn't
want anything romantic with me. He apologized and said it
(12:02):
was really selfish and irresponsible of him, and that he
regretted it not because he didn't enjoy it, but because
he can see how that would have hurt me. I
accept his very emotionally mature I know, my God. I
accept his apology, but I'm so so hurt by it.
I do not sleep around, so having sex with someone
is usually pretty big for me. Basically, I'm really unsure
(12:22):
whether I should stay in contact with him. He's one
of my best friends and we have so much fun. Together,
but I really don't know if it's best for my
mental health. I don't want to leave him while he's
recovering from his heart surgery, but I really am struggling
myself and feel like I may have to. I am
just so sick of feeling so hurt by guys, and
I hate the feeling of giving more than I receive.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Wow, Wow, you're going through a lot. Firtively, you're going
through a lot yourself. But like, yes, this man's just
had heart surgery, but you need to stop putting his
situation and his feelings before yours, because at that it's
an expense of your health. And like your mental health,
your depression and your anxiety. You've just lost your grandma,
like you've gone through a toxic relationship.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
And I don't agree with the saying.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
I think it's like people are in two minds about it,
being like there is never the wrong time for the
right person. Like everyone goes like do you know that saying?
Is that the right saying of Like if they wanted to,
they would, and like, yeah, there's never a wrong time.
I completely disagree. If my perfect man was stood in
(13:29):
front of me right now, I still wouldn't be able
to be in the committed relationship with him. I wouldn't
be able to give everything that I should be giving
in a relationship, and he wouldn't be treated the way
that I want to be treating my partner. And no
matter what, if he's the right person, it would then
be at the expense of my health, my well being
(13:52):
and everything like that. And that's where he's kind of at.
You might be the right person for him, but right
now in this situation, it is not the right time
for him. He's got a massive heart surgery. He's just
had a massive heart surgery. He's studying medicine, which is
so time consuming.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
That if you were to date him.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
You wouldn't be a priority in his life, which is
then why the relationship would end up being over because
he's studying medicine that is a massive, massive degree that
balancing a new relationship and new girlfriend with a two
hour time difference like it wouldn't work. But he also
hasn't had the feeling of losing you because you speak
(14:31):
to him every day that you're also by speaking to
him every day, and like he's expressed that he can't
be there in the way that he should be for
you and that this relationship isn't the right thing for him.
You also staying around isn't ever going to make him
realize that you're not going to be in his life
in this situation. He's he's gone, I can't be your
(14:52):
boyfriend right now, I can't date you right now, But
then I'm still going to speak.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
To you every single day. He's got the best of
the both worlds.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
He's having his caking and eating it too, don't I
think he's being disrespectful necessarily to you because you're also
allowing that, But like he's never going to have to
work hard for you to either one get you back
or realize what he's missing out on because you're right
there and they're picking up from when he needs and
obviously because you do really like him and I completely
(15:18):
understand that. But what's meant for you will not pass you,
and you're obviously going through a lot right now. I
think you need to focus on your own mental health,
Like stop putting him and how he feels before that,
because at the end of the day, you're putting a
lot of your validation and how you're maybe feeling into
like him replying you guys talking you guys calling and
(15:41):
because you're so used to that, like it's an addiction.
The only way you're getting that dopamine he is from
him and texting him and him calling him, telling you
about your day, you telling that. I can guarantee you
have someone in your life or someone that will come
in your life that will mask that or be there
for the same way that he is.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
He's not the.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Bee's knees be all and or Yeah, you just both
of you aren't in the place right now to give
you what you need. But you're holding onto what could be.
But right now that's not what is showing you in
present day. Yeah, so it's so hard to remove yourself
from that, but you need to give it twenty one
days twenty one days of no contact.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
It takes three weeks to build a habit.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
And like, right now it's just a habit of you
speaking to him, not necessarily because you've got this undeniable
connection that you'll never find with anybody else.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
And he's the love of your life.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
No, like you're in the middle of too. Like both
of you are in the middle of so many big
life events. This sounds a bit strategic to say, but
I don't think either of you are going anywhere, Like
it still sounds like they're very stuck in their situations.
That's okay. I have so many friends, so we're like
both at the same time or at different times, going
(16:54):
through different things. So it's just a bit of like
we'll pick this up in a few months or like
we'll chat you know, at this later day. Yeah, I
think it's fine to supark things. And if the concern
is around him feeling isolated after the surgery, I don't
think you're solely responsible.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
No, you know his mother and again like, yes, he's
going through a really really big time, but he would
be going through that really really big time even if
you weren't there. It's not your responsibility to look after
someone and to be there for someone you're not dating him. Yeah,
if you were his girlfriend, then you felt if you're
about this situation, then you're like, I don't know whether
(17:30):
that guy I want to break up with him, but
he's going through this really hard time. I'd be like,
hold off. He's going through enough right now. His heart's
already hurting physically. You don't need to break it. But
he has called this off with you that you don't
then shouldn't feel a responsibility to be there for him.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Because he's called it off.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Yeah, he wanted that, So then don't feel like you
still need to be around you don't.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
And it's a hard dynamic when the guy doesn't want
a relationship, but it's still fine to see the girls.
So it's and the onus is on the gal to
kind of manage her feelings and manage how she reacts
after having sex. Like, I don't think anything will change
for him if you keep spending time with him.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
Yeah, because he's got it.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
He's compartmentalized already in his head. You haven't compartmentalized it,
which is so okay, and that's so normal. But because
he's the one who's kind of put in the boundaries
and then you have openly willing to go ahead and
overstep your own boundaries, that's not his fault, yeah, you know,
because he has put in those boundaries. So as hard
(18:33):
as it is, you have to just kind of stick
to your own word and like hold yourself to it,
which is so fucking hard. But like, yeah, it's hard,
But at the same time, like I have this person
in my life. I think they're amazing and I could
really see us being together maybe.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
One day, but right now not at all.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
And I'm like, if we were to try now, I
can just tell it would be over very very quickly,
because neither of us are in the right headspace. And
I'm the one who's then put in that boundary, and
if they choose to continue to try to push it,
I'm like, I've put up that boundary.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
I've let you know where I'm at.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
If you still want to continue to walk over that,
then don't use it against me. If I end up
hurting you, or if I don't reply to your text,
or if I don't want to see you, don't then
be like, oh that's so mean, YadA, YadA, YadA, because
I've told you where I'm at. If you're then continuing
to push aside that and think it doesn't matter, that's
(19:33):
on you.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
Yeah you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
I do makes sense?
Speaker 3 (19:37):
Yeah, And it's just like, I think the only part
we're holding on too, because if this was another submission
and the guy wasn't so respectful and communicative about the boundaries,
I'd be saying, get rid of this man. But like,
it seems like there's potentially something good there, so you
don't want to jeopardize that because you want to.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
He seems so respectful. I just don't think it's your time. Yeah,
and maybe he's just a lesson. Maybe you've just had
a really good experience with a guy and he's amazing
and everything like that, and you know the quality so
he has and he presents you want in your next partner. Yeah,
he could just be teaching you something. Not everything has
to have like a long life.
Speaker 3 (20:16):
No, So I know that's like really open and but
I'd hold some space if it were to happen in
the future, but like absolutely be your priority right now.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Yeah, I definitely think cut back on the communication.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
Yeah, start and he'll still be around.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Yeah. He seems like a lovely guy.
Speaker 3 (20:30):
He does. We don't shoot ourselves in the foot there.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
Yeah, let us know how it goes. Love a follow up?
Speaker 3 (20:41):
All right? Submission number two. Hi, I need help. Hey.
I was living with my boyfriend, his brother, and his
brother's girlfriend.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
I'm so sorry.
Speaker 3 (20:50):
Literally I moved out two weeks ago due to an
argument with my boyfriend's brother and his girlfriend, not liking
how they live and for my boyfriend and my relationship
as we were becoming like roommates rather than housemaids. Now,
my boyfriend's brother and his girlfriend, well, sorry, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
This girl had a fight with the boyfriend's brother and
his girlfriend. Yeah, and she didn't doesn't like where her boyfriends.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
She doesn't like how they're living their habits, and now
she's feeling like her boyfriend's her roommate rather than a boyfriend. Okay, Now,
my boyfriend's brother and his girlfriend want me to keep
paying at least one hundred to one hundred and fifty
dollars in RAND because I will be sleeping over for
my boyfriend. I personally don't agree with paying RAND as
the most I will be saying. There will be two
(21:36):
nights a week max. When we all moved in, we
had someone staying with us for three weeks five nights
a week, and he was paying one hundred dollars. So
I don't think I should be paying the same if
I'm not living there and they won't take me off
the lease. I've never lived out of home, so I
don't know if this is an expectation with everyone who
moves out, or if I'm in the right and should
(21:56):
not be paying RAND. I hope this makes sense.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
Okay, I've had very very similar situation, and this is
how we came to the conclusion. Okay, well, actually the
conclusion that we ended up doing is I just moved
out with my ex boyfriend and we didn't live with
the group. But I was kind of going to do
the same thing with my ex.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
I was going to move out with.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
It was going to be him and I and then
his mate and his girlfriends, so there's going to be
two couples in the house. And originally it was just
going to be the two boys lived together, but both
of them had girlfriends, and we were like, well, we're
going to be over here quite a bit, Like we
probably should contribute one hundred to one hundred and fifty
dollars a rent a week if you're staying in there,
because we kind of had the mindset of like, if
(22:37):
these two boys are going to be living out of home,
we're going to be there quite a bit, we probably
should contribute more money to the rent so then they
can get a bigger space. And then all of this
stuff kind of came up. So I can completely understand
where your mind is at with this, and like they're
sayings behind it and everything like that. My rule of
thumb would be, if you're staying more than two it's
(23:00):
a week.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
If you're strictly.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
Saying that, you're probably only going to be staying there
on the weekends, which.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Is what you said.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
So I'll take that as verbatim for you. And I
don't think you should be contributing to your rent, because
what one hundred dollars a week, that's fifty bucks a night.
That's not how much they're paying if they're paying like
three hundred dollars a week, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (23:19):
So I think that's a bit excessive.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
But I think you should say, Hey, if I'm staying
at your house every Wednesday, I'm cooking food for you guys,
I'll buy you your food dinners on me. I'll contribute
in something like that. And I think you should contribute
something like that, or even be like, I'll contribute to some.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
Of the water bill.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
I do think in a perspective, when you guys are
all living out of home and you're popping in and out,
you should be contributing to something of the house because
running a house in this economy is very very expensive,
especially when you're all probably on like low salaries. Like,
I'm assuming that you're kind of my age. Either you
don't have a full time job or you're in a
(23:59):
startup position where you're scraping the barrel, So like I, yeah,
I can completely understand. I can completely like sympathize with
the rest of the house being like this girl's popping
in and out whenever she pleases. She used to live here,
but now she doesn't. I can completely understand that in
some way that you should contribute. Do I think directly
to the rent?
Speaker 1 (24:19):
No.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
In saying that, though, I think if you're staying more
than two or three nights a week, you definitely should.
Like when I was going to live at home but
then stay at my ex's house, I probably would have
been staying there four or five nights a week. I
was willing and openly suggested that I would contribute one
hundred to one hundred and fifty dollars a week in
(24:40):
rent because I'm staying there, and then I don't feel
like I'm intruding. I don't feel like I don't have
a place. There's no resentment involved because I'm contributing to something.
So I do understand why they do want something. It's
your space you're a living, breathing person in that space
(25:01):
and to walk freely around. I do think there would
be some resentment build up. Two nights a week be
my guest. I think you should contribute to dinner shah,
everyone groceries, and you make the big voka pasta for
one night, and couldtribute in that way because then they're
kind of like, oh, she's been nice, like she's helping out,
she's paying her pay.
Speaker 3 (25:20):
Yeah, I think that's fine. And like, as for the
sanity of being a guest, like I prefer to do
that so I always have something tangible. I'm like, no,
I did contribute in that way, so like, I don't
feel terrible for being here, because it's so easy to
feel like you're invading someone's space. I think it's complicated
that she used to live there as well, and it
seems have only brought up rent since the argument, so
(25:44):
I don't think the rent is overly reasonable, although I
do see a world where it is fair, like these
people could really be living week to week and this
money really matters to them.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
Yeah, but does because then their rent increases because you've.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
Left, Yeah, And then also like the bills are probably
more expensive because there's another head in the house as well.
I don't think the rent is totally fair, but yeah,
perfectly said in that you should be contributing something. I
think maybe you're feeling a bit stung because it's come
just after the argument.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
I think the way you could probably approach this is
go like, hey, I don't think paying rent.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
Is all that fair.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
Get chat GPT up, write down what I'm saying, type
it in your notes, then put into GPT rewrite this
to my boyfriend's brothers, friends and housemates. So hey, like,
I really appreciate you bringing this issue up with me,
as I think I'm only going to be staying there
one to two nights a week, I would I don't
think contributing to your rent is.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
All that fair.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
Happy to help out with groceries and dinners for the
nights that I'm there. I'm even happy to cook you
guys all dinner or you will take away as my
way of contributing to the household. But I don't think
it's necessarily fair that I'm paying rent sing I'm not
really sure how many times a week got to live there.
If I end up staying there more nights a week,
I'm happy to revisit this and possibly think about contributing
(27:06):
to rent if I end up.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Staying there a lot more often.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
But I think for the start, let's maybe just see
if I can contribute to the deal mealks or something
like that.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
I think that's a night.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
Also want to put it, rewrite that into.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
Chatch ePAT, take out the dashes, a little bit of
an emoji here and there, sign off with an X,
and you're good to go.
Speaker 3 (27:23):
Give her some good directions. It sounds sweet.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
Yeah, I hope you're well, guys, and.
Speaker 3 (27:28):
Let us know how this goes very common.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
So it is a very funishing.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
Because if I if my housemate got a boyfriend and
he was there five nights a week and he wasn't
contributing anything, it would be it would boil something up
inside of me because this is my house. If I
want to walk if this is Bowby's dream house, I
want to walk around naked. But then your boyfriend, your
friend's boyfriend's there, so he's like I have to always
make sure I'm dressed, or it's like, oh he's got
his fucking protein shakes in the fucking bridge where I
(27:54):
want to put my milk, Like those things when they're
not your boyfriend. Really you really start to tick what
you're leaving your toiletry bag on my bench?
Speaker 1 (28:03):
No, brother, get it out.
Speaker 3 (28:05):
That's like going in the bin.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
When you live out of home and you're paying everything yourself,
that stuff really.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
Starts to build up.
Speaker 3 (28:12):
You unfortunately become your parents. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
So if like my boyfriend's friend was like contributing to
like dinner or something I would like, I'd be like, okay, yeah,
you can leave your toiletries there.
Speaker 3 (28:20):
Yeah, thank you so much for the mettal health. It
softens the blow.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, it oftens the blow. Or if
he shouts a coffee or something like that. My friend
doesn't have a boyfriend, so it's we're chilling, Lily and
I all right.
Speaker 3 (28:32):
Submission at number three. Number three, Hey babe, sobabe, of
my best friends is dating my ex behind my back.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
The way I found out was totally fucked up. She
lied to me about the whole timeline, even when I
asked about specifics. We aren't friends anymore, but she remains
in my friendship group. Boom, I have to see photos
of my ex with people I care about. I leave
myself out of situation, so I don't have to be
near either of them. How do I just accept it
and move on? I don't care that they're together. It
(29:01):
says more about her than that does me. But I
just struggle to understand and accept and let it go,
especially now that he's around friends of mine and will
be places where I am. Advice on this little dilemma
would be fab Wow, this is really hard.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
First of all, I know it's so fucking shit that
like one of your friends was dating your explosion behind
your back and everything like that.
Speaker 1 (29:23):
And I obviously don't know timelines, Like I don't know how.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
If there was a crossover period hall long ago you
dated this guy. I'm just talking about a rule of
thumb here where I think if you have broken up
over two years ago, that man not necessarily for your
immediate friendship group that man has, you have no ownership
over that man anymore. Like, even if it's not in
your situation, if it's a friend of a friend or
(29:46):
you know of them, you're kind of in the same
social scene, you can't then get mad at that girl
that he's now dating your ex if it's from over
two years ago.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (29:56):
Yeah it is, so like I agree, and like these
some as come up so often it's like what is
the rule? Like what actually is? Yeah, we can all
agree on.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
Because like everyone is connected these days, especially in Melbourne.
Everyone I know, like if you're if I'm interested in
a guy, I'm going to be upsetting one girl, whether
I like it or.
Speaker 3 (30:15):
Not, like whether you know about it or yeah exactly.
Speaker 2 (30:18):
So like I just think in a general rule a
two year thing of like if I knew of someone
and not in a friendship group, I'm not saying this
is for you because like she was your friend, so
I think that's very different. Like I wouldn't go dating
if I knew the boyfriend when he was dating you.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
I think that's weird.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
But like rule of thumb, even if your friends are friends,
I don't think it should really matter because like, oh,
she's just gonna be upsetting everyone.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
Not the point.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
I think it's really hard for you obviously because you're
seeing it in real life, but like know that this
man wasn't for you and that he wasn't the person
for you, and this girl obviously you don't agree with
her rules, so like yeah, yes it makes you mad,
and yes, it pisces you off and everything like that.
But the only person you're annoying is yourself. Like if
(31:08):
you're having it into your mind every social situation, saying
you're going to be going and seeing Jack and Betty there,
and then you've got this all up in your head,
you've worked your way up about it and everything like that.
To be so blatantly upfront with you, Jack and Betty
don't give a fuck, like they do not care, like
they're not sympathizing with you. They openly did it behind
(31:29):
your back, Like Betty wasn't sympathizing with you when she
was talking up with him behind your back, like she
doesn't give a fuck. So you giving a fuck. The
only person you're pissing off is yourself. I know it's
so much easier so than done, just to let go
and let them do whatever they want, but karma's going
to hit them in a completely different way. Just relinquish
all control about it. Just like, go have fun. You
(31:51):
know that the people if you're going to the same
social group and Jack and Betty are going to be there.
You know you've got Sally and Alex and all your
other friends and.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
Everyone else there. Just don't fucking worry about them.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
Just do your own thing, have a lot of fun.
Like so much easier said than done. But like you
almost have to gaslight yourself in the situation that they
do not matter what they do, what their actions, has
no reflection upon you. It's only them and it's just
none of your business. Like act that they are invisible.
Don't say hi, Just like do whatever you want. Because
(32:24):
I know that I go to social group like social things,
and there are people that I've had run ins with
before and that I don't necessarily like we don't agree
on each other. If I have in my head the
whole time before the event, at the event and everything,
like oh my god, I wonder what they're thinking. Oh
my god, I'm so anxious because they're here. I can't
enjoy myself because they're here.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
What are they doing? What are they thinking?
Speaker 2 (32:44):
And if you're constantly thinking about them, you're having a
miserable time. But you also have to think in your mind,
they know you're going to be there, they know that
they have done something wrong to you. They're going to
be wondering what they're thinking like you're thinking, and just
be like.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
They're intimidated by me too.
Speaker 2 (32:59):
They're going to know that I have a problem with them.
Just don't give it a bar, fake it till you
make it, and then it's gonna bush off into the
disappearance and then next second you're actually just Daty's best
friend look up with his best friend.
Speaker 3 (33:14):
I'm not opposed to that idea either. It feels like
a bit of a game in those settings because it's
hard to even get out of your own head, but
you do have to get into their head as well,
And unfairly you're a bit of a villain in their
minds because you're the one person they know has a
qualm with you. Yeah, and you're probably the one person
in that room that they're wrong. So like automatically you're
a bit of a villain in their mind. So I
(33:35):
think it says so much if you go, that's so unbothered.
You know, you don't want that friend. You don't want
that boyfriend.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
Biggest revenge is, yeah, exactly put yourself in their shoes.
You don't want to be that type of friend. You
don't want to be that you had that man. You
don't want that man anymore. So there's no reason for
you to show any emotion towards that because you're sitting
you've got the upper hand and just like know that
and the best revenge silence. Yeah, don't react, don't say anything,
(34:04):
no side digs, no nothing, Just walk into that party
with your head held high, smiling, fake it, babe, because
I'd be faking it. But like let it be just
like relinquish all control and just be like whatever. Yeah,
I don't want to be in their position. I'm glad
that that position's not me. I'm glad I wouldn't treat
my friend like that. I'm glad I don't understand your
(34:24):
situation because I would never do that. And then just
kind of party on. Yeah, pop a tequila shot and
look up with his best mate.
Speaker 3 (34:32):
I know we've kind of like lectured this one, but
must I say this listener. She seems so unbothered. She's
actually like so mature in her feelings. I'm almost a
bit like girl, you can get a bit more angrier
than you are as well, which seems backhanded to everything
love just said. But like coud, I'll see you with
where you're at at the moment, being super forgiving. You
want to keep it moving. Not many people do, like
(34:53):
people actually just want to sit in that anger. So
well done. I think you've already got like ninety percent
of the work done.
Speaker 1 (34:58):
Yeah, it's just a bit of exposure therapy. It gets
easier every.
Speaker 2 (35:02):
Time, badly, but yeah, I'm so glad I like don't
have that.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
It'd be so annoying.
Speaker 2 (35:08):
But like I'm very good at acting on faced into situations.
I'm just like okay, yeah, and I always say it's
a blessing. You don't understand why they do that. Why
you don't understand that because you would never do it yourself.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
To just be grateful that you.
Speaker 3 (35:20):
Have that perspective. Yeah, and when you find out the truth,
you're probably like, oh, I did not want to know that.
Like that's disturbing.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
Yeah, my heart goes out to you, though you're killing it.
Speaker 3 (35:29):
Like I'm not very anxious for you in this setting,
Like I think you're going to slay the house just
look up with his best man end a story period.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
That's like so evil villain of me to say that,
but like I'm just joking.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
All right, guys, Well, thank you so much. We only
did three dilemmas, but I feel like it was a
chatty one. These were like once to dissect.
Speaker 3 (35:48):
Yeah, and let us know, like how regularly you want
the yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
Well, they're so fun to film. I like knowing all
the drama, and we.
Speaker 3 (35:54):
Like bringing their community in a well, of course.
Speaker 2 (35:57):
And I hope you guys like my pickup lines about
my toes. Always use them if you want. Don't say
I don't help you guys out.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
So and I'll see you guys next Tuesday. What of
wom Bye Little Wom
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