October 20, 2025 • 42 mins
This episode contains conversations about disordered eating, body image, and recovery. Please take care while listening — if these topics feel triggering or unsafe for you, we encourage you to skip this episode or reach out for support.
On this episode of Hotter Than Yesterday, I'm back in Melbourne and blessed to be joined by my dear friend Stella Kate Lily. Stella & I used to do boxing together and while we bonded over the fun we had at boxing, I soon found out Stella's story is much bigger. Stella talks through her eating disorder and how she overcame this, and is now on her way to be boxing in her first ever fight!
Thank you Stella for being so generous in telling your story and we couldn't be more grateful to witness your incredible story. See you next week xxx
If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder or body image concerns, you can contact the Butterfly Foundation for free and confidential support:
Helpline: 1800 33 4673 (available 8am–midnight AEST, 7 days a week)
Webchat: butterfly.org.au
You’re never alone, and help is always available.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Before we get into today's episode, a quick content warning.
We'll be talking openly about our personal experiences with eating disorders.
Please take care while listening and skip this episode if
it feels safer for you. And I always say like,
you would never tell a little girl that she doesn't
deserve that, so never tell yourself exactly she doesn't deserve.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
I would never tell my little sister that.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Yeah, but why are you saying that to yourself?
Speaker 3 (00:23):
Hi, guys, welcome back to Hot Than Yesterday and we
have a very very special guest on today's episode. We
have Stella rou Out of a Flaws, Stella Lily Dellicately
Delicate Lily.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
I feel like Stella Lily sounds weird?
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Is me? Is that your last name?
Speaker 4 (00:41):
Lily?
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Yeah? But my first name is actually Stellicate.
Speaker 4 (00:44):
Oh Q.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
I just like always do you know when you know people,
especially off Instagram, Like I always see that used name
when I watch your stuff. So I'm like, that's your name,
like Stella Kate Lily. Yeah, I didn't I think that.
Speaker 4 (00:56):
I thought Lily was your middle name. Oh really?
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Yeah? Because like also can be a first day ye
three first names. Yeah, that's a flex. I would i'd
flex that. But yeah, we have Stella on today's episode.
We met each other a few years ago, didn't we.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Yeah, I would say like two years ago maybe.
Speaker 4 (01:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
We met each other in two at two rungs. Actually
at an event. I'm pretty sure it was the reptile
event that got canceled like on the internet, and we
were like, get us away from all the reptiles, like,
don't go near the reptiles.
Speaker 4 (01:31):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
All I remember is we drank a whole bottle of
this like lemon.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Uzoo, yeah stuff. And do you know why I really
remembered you, guys, is because your teeth were glowing in the.
Speaker 4 (01:42):
Dark, because.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
And that's how I really remember you, because you were like, yeah,
I've got veneers, and that's when I was about like
thinking about getting veneers. So now both our teeth will go, oh.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
My god, we need to go to the club.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
We need to run it back clop. But yeah, today
we have Stellar on today's episode. I don't know if
you guys have followed her on socials. If not, you
should be. I love your content, I like watch it
all the time. But she has been so open about
her journey in boxing, her fitness journey, her eating disorder journey,
(02:15):
and I think we're just all going to dive into
that in a really open chat today. I know a
lot of girls always message me about recovery and getting
yourself out of a slump, and I feel like you
have a really inspiring story that a lot of girls
should hear, So.
Speaker 4 (02:28):
We're gonna I agree.
Speaker 5 (02:29):
And I think it's hard as well to like message
all the girls back because like it's such a deep
topic yeah and talk about, and it's so personal to
each person.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
So I definitely think on this like podcast, I want
to get more people to speak about their journey and
how they came overcame it because I.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
Think it will touch everyone in a different way.
Speaker 5 (02:47):
Definitely, especially girls, Like I don't know one girl that
hasn't struggled with like some type of eating disorder one.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Hundred percent, Especially in like the society that we're living
in is like everything is so like you shouldn't be
able to see yourself. Humans weren't desired to ever look
at themselves, like see what they look like. Like we
were never meant to.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
Know, no, like just meant to have mirrors.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
No.
Speaker 4 (03:10):
I would love that same.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
I would love that, but then again, our jobs are
like taking motos of ourselves, so it is a really
it's a double red sword. But you're originally from New Zealand,
aren't you, So tell us a little bit about how
you grew up, like your background of you.
Speaker 5 (03:25):
Yeah, I'm originally from New Zealand. I lived there basically
my whole life. I would say my childhood was. I
feel like it's hard because I feel like I was
privileged in ways, like I had good school, good education,
like at a house, I always had a roof over
my head, and like all the basic necessities. But I
feel like overall, like I didn't have the best childhood experience.
(03:49):
Like when I look at my upbringing, it's all negative
in my opinion.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
In what way would you say, I would say, I
don't know.
Speaker 5 (03:59):
It's there's so many different layers, and I think that
from like a very early age, even like I experienced bullying,
and then I started with my eating disorder, and then
like my mom's whole life because my mom did social
media when she still does social media, but when I
was younger, she was I don't know, like a New
(04:19):
Zealand mum influencer. Yeah, and she kind of started in
the fitness space. So I think from like a very
young age, I was like.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Influenced negatively, not even negatively because it's probably not the
right way to say, but you I think when you
maybe grow up in that, and I can kind of
relate in that.
Speaker 4 (04:41):
My dad was a.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Pe teacher and I grew up around boys, and it
was very sport related and very performance space, so you
kind of stopped looking at yourself as an individual and
kind of seeing yourself as a physical thing. And how
you look physically is almost how successful.
Speaker 4 (04:56):
You're going to be.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
And maybe because your mum was in front of the
camera all the time, like we experience now, like your
physical appearance is kind of goes on like one how
successful you are going to be, and like how you
determine yourself and your self worth. So growing up like
that from like a young girl would probably be really hard.
And having your mom, like who you look up to,
(05:18):
also being in that scene. Not that she was necessarily
forcing that upon you, it's just kind of innately how
we be.
Speaker 4 (05:25):
Exposed to that as well.
Speaker 5 (05:27):
And like I also feel terrible talking about it sometimes
because I never want to put the blame on her,
because I also understand that she was young because my
mum had me at seventeen, so like she was young,
and obviously I couldn't imagine being like twenty yeah, twenty
five with like a seven year old kid, yeah, or like,
so like I also understand that she would have experienced
(05:49):
what we've experienced as well, yeah, and unintentionally put it.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
And I don't think there was a lot of education
when our parents are raising us about these things and
things that we should be careful with. Like I always
say that our kids of our generation are going to
be so much more woke to these problems because we
really experienced it and we have seen the effects of
social media. So I think our kids are going to
(06:15):
be a lot more educated on it, and hopefully it's
going to be prevented a little bit more because I
think we are the result of like fad diets and
yo yo diets and stuff like that, of how to
get skinny really quickly, because that was like the thing
of the eighties and the nineties, so that just like.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
Rung like a whole new thing.
Speaker 5 (06:35):
I completely forgot about like all the diet things that
like we were exposed to as teenagers.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Exactly, and especially our parents, like that was all that
they were. They grew up on, so they weren't to
know anything else.
Speaker 5 (06:47):
I know, and even growing up in like the whole
Kate Moss, Yeah like that, I feel like it's a
little bit.
Speaker 4 (06:53):
Worse back then as well.
Speaker 5 (06:54):
Yeah, or like I just have in my head like
Yolanda had like telling to like chew a few almonds
and she'll be fine when she's like on the brink
of passing out, and I'm like, just go get a
fucking burger.
Speaker 4 (07:07):
Yeah, and I lot of swear, Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
Please honestly swear all as much as you are. But
so what made you move then to Melbourne?
Speaker 5 (07:15):
I would honestly say I was just like struggling so much.
I'm a big believer in like you can't grow in
an environment.
Speaker 4 (07:22):
That you've outgrown.
Speaker 5 (07:23):
Yeah, so I was just really needing change. I think
New Zealand's very small, everyone's very closed minded, and yeah,
I just really need to get out of that environment
because at the time I was in and out of
hospital A lot and a lot of it was to do.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
With my eating disorder.
Speaker 5 (07:41):
But I think I was very ashamed to like admit
that the problems I was having was because of what
I was doing. Yeah, so I'd go into the hospital
all the time with like intense stomach pains, like I
don't even know what was going on. And then I'd
be thinking that it was like I don't know all
these different ill when deep down I knew it was
(08:01):
because I was like hurting my body every day.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
So when would you say that you're eating disorder started
to become a big part of your life or started
to impact your life.
Speaker 5 (08:11):
I would say, honestly, when I was like twelve years older,
I think, oh shit, yeah, I think I became aware
of it even younger. Like I was never allowed like
at school. You obviously kids have like packets of chips
or like musley bars or like a little treat, and
like I was never allowed that. It was always like
a sandwich, yogatting fruit, and obviously that's great. Like, but
(08:32):
like as a kid, when you're seeing other kids, they
get like a packet of oreos or something like, I
never got that, And so I think when I got that,
like I would consume copious amounts of it. I even
remember we never had any types of like sweet treats
in the house, so I'd eat packets of fondant because
that's all like baking chocolate chips.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
Yeah, because baking chocolate chips.
Speaker 5 (08:56):
Because I'm like, I literally like I don't get it,
So like, yeah, you're obviously gonna overconsume it when you.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Do get it. So you moved over to Melbourne when
you were twenty, and would you say that you're eating
was still pretty bad?
Speaker 4 (09:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (09:07):
I moved to Brisbane first, and I think I got
my own apartment. Yeah, and I feel like it's a blessing,
but it's also like a curse getting your own place
when you're struggling with an eating disorder, because it you
don't have anyone around you.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
That is kind of like holding you accountableity.
Speaker 4 (09:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (09:25):
So i'd say I feel like they come in waves. Yeah,
like it's always up and down.
Speaker 4 (09:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
So you lived in your apartment in Brisbane and you
were alone. How was that all for you?
Speaker 5 (09:37):
Well, I look back and I'm like, holy shit, like
you were so skinny. Yeah, and yeah, I just think
like it was not a good time in my life
and I didn't really do anything about it. I think
that's what's most fucked up about an eating disorder as well,
Like it's you know that it's so bad and like
(09:58):
it's so unhealthy, but like you're so addicted to it.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
At the same time, it's an addiction. It's an addiction
to food, but it's in the opposite way. Also, I
want to give you guys a little bit of a
preface that like we're speaking about our experiences and we're
telling you, guys, this is like the worst time about life,
Like don't be like this, don't know, but where we're
speaking about how Sally got out of the trenches and
how you overcame this because you're way happier how you
(10:23):
are now.
Speaker 5 (10:23):
I would literally you wouldn't. I'd do anything but go
back to that place.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
Yeah, yeah, I hope. So yeah, you look so much happier.
So yeah, how did that all go? And then what
made you come to Melbourne? Like give us the whole
the rundown.
Speaker 5 (10:39):
Well, I actually went from Brisbane to Europe. Yeah, and
then I went traveling there for a little bit and
with one of my exes and then we broke up.
So then I came back to the Gold Coast. I
stayed there for a couple of months and then I decided,
like I need to like go on a solo or
(11:00):
like I need to do something because like I need
to stop relying on people or like always needing someone there.
So I went to Bali for like five weeks or something,
and I think my eating just sort of started getting
worse again, yeah, because like I'm on my own and
I feel like it's always been there, like I've always
maybe like in between, I've had like a couple of
(11:22):
weeks where like I haven't done anything or like it's
been good or like I can eat like.
Speaker 4 (11:25):
Three meals a day and be fine.
Speaker 5 (11:28):
But being in Bali I think was really hard because
being in a foreign country is scary.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Yeah, especially alone when you don't really know anyone.
Speaker 4 (11:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (11:38):
This was in twenty twenty three, and I actually gained
a bit of weight when I was in Bali because
I was just like fucking eating so much food. Yeah,
and yeah, like I was like happy, but like at
the same time, I think it was like a comfort thing.
And then I went to Thailand after that for a
couple of weeks and it just got to a point
where like I was just so homesick that I was
(11:58):
meant to go back to Bali. When I was on
the tarmac trying to go back to Bali. I just
booked a flight that day to go back to New
Zealand to see my family because I was like, oh
my god, like I've been in my own thoughts and
in my brain for like eight weeks, like I like
physically I need some like human interaction.
Speaker 4 (12:14):
Yeah, I can't do this anymore.
Speaker 5 (12:16):
No, And like I didn't put myself out there really
in Bali because I was like I don't want to
go out and drink. I don't want to like I
don't want to talk to anyone, Like I don't know
what I want to do.
Speaker 4 (12:23):
But it's definitely not that.
Speaker 5 (12:25):
And then when I came to Melbourne, I met someone
and my eating disorder kind of got bad again. After
it was like it was bad already, but it just
kind of got worse. And it wasn't until like the
end of last year when I think I was like
the skinniest like I've ever been, and I was like
(12:48):
I literally like can't live.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Like this anymore.
Speaker 5 (12:51):
Yeah, I don't think any amount of therapy could help
me get out of this mindset.
Speaker 4 (12:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
And what was it for you?
Speaker 4 (12:58):
Was it like how you look?
Speaker 1 (13:00):
Is that like the biggest thing was like that the
main driver for you as to why you were doing
this to yourself, is because you wanted to look a
certain way or was it almost a form of punishment.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
I think it was both.
Speaker 5 (13:14):
I think it was equal parts punishment and equal parts
how I wanted to look. But I think as well,
when it gets to how you look, you set like
a weight that you want to get to or how
you want to look, and then you get to that
and you're still not satisfied. Yeah, and so it just
keeps getting worse and worse and worse, and it's just
so hard to ever come out of that.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
Or if it be like happy with how you.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
Look, yeah, and then you probably use that as like
you're like your escape and then also you disassociate in
a way.
Speaker 5 (13:46):
And then when I was also like very unhappy in
my everyday life as well, so it was kind of
like the only thing that gave me a dopamine rush.
Speaker 4 (13:54):
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Yeah, And it's so fucked that our brains are kind
of almost trained to.
Speaker 4 (13:58):
Get like that.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
I know. Oh, it's horrible, and it is such a
toxic cycle. And especially like you were, probably you were
in a relationship at that time that your loved ones
around you also get to a point where they can't
even control you, and it's like they don't want to
say anything because you'll probably get mad at them, You'll
(14:21):
have a goal with them because you are so comfortable
around those people that they don't end up saying anything
and holding you accountable anymore because like they don't want
to upset you. And then they just like almost not
in not to their fault, but they end up validating
those behaviors because they don't know what to say to
you anymore. And then you end up being quite a
difficult person to be around because there's no energy in you.
(14:42):
There's no food in you, so you've got no emotion.
Speaker 5 (14:45):
And even like I look back and I'm like, I
don't know how Like some people didn't even say anything,
Like I remember, like my mom never even said like,
oh my god, like Stella you okay, Like because like
if that was me. Every time I see someone, I
feel like, once you've had an eating disor, it's really
easy to spot someone else that has an eating disorder.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Yes, I say, it's like a sixth sense, it is, yeah.
Speaker 5 (15:07):
And like I always see girls online and everyone's like,
oh my god, like what's your workout routine?
Speaker 4 (15:11):
Like what are you eating?
Speaker 5 (15:12):
And I'm like, babe, look at her stomach. There's absolutely
nothing in there, yea, Like you can just tell that,
like there is no workout routine, there is no meal plan,
there's no what I eat in a day.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
No, because there is nothing there. There's nothing to show you,
there's no content to be able to be contrued, so
a hundred percent and it's just And what do you
think about those type of videos like the what I
eat in the days?
Speaker 5 (15:34):
And I feel like I'm guilty because I have probably
posted one of them when I was struggling, Yeah, and
I lied about what I was eating, Yeah, because like
people were asking me, what are you eating? So I'm
gonna put more than what I eat because I'm not
gonna I don't want you to eat less, yeah, what
I'm eating because I don't want them to have an
(15:55):
eating disorder.
Speaker 4 (15:57):
Which makes it more lack of like subconsciously you know
you're doing the wrong because exactly, Yeah, I feel like
a fraud.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Yeah, I think that the like the eating that what
I eat in the day culture is such a foreign
concept to me because I'm like, no matter what, if
I ate the same thing as you, I'm not going
to here, and especially when they do body checks before it. Oh,
I know you're not doing that for a reason, Like
(16:26):
what it doesn't make any sense to.
Speaker 5 (16:28):
Me neither, But like even like the workout routine and
you can lie, like you can show that you've eaten
all of this, but like you could go and eat
more or like like you literally can't trust what these people,
what people are saying online about what they eat and
what they do.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
So what was the turning point for you?
Speaker 5 (16:48):
The turning point for me would be I would say
the end of last year. I just remember. I specifically
remember the point because it's I was like over the
toilet bowl and I was like, I don't know, I
was like I need to go to therapy or like
(17:08):
I need to get help or something, because.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
Like your quality of life is yeah, like I.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Do want to live, yeah, you know, And then I
went to therapy. I obviously I think a lot of
people have a bad idea of therapy.
Speaker 5 (17:24):
Yeah, And obviously therapy is not going to work after
one session, like it's probably not going to work after
five sessions. But I think that over time, looking back,
like it's definitely helped and influenced my brain slowly.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
To like, yeah, rewire how I think?
Speaker 4 (17:41):
Yeah, But I.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Also think like you need to want to get better
as well.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Yeah, you hit rock bottom and you're like, that's it.
I need help. But I'm going to therapy. And what
did that look like for you?
Speaker 5 (17:53):
Well, honestly, I can't even remember. I feel like a
lot of the lines are very blurred.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
Yeah, And I went to a.
Speaker 5 (18:01):
Couple therapy sessions, and then I think at the time,
I followed a whole bunch of like boxing places, and
one two Boxing reached out to me and asked me
if I wanted to join a class or try a
class out, and I was like, yeah, like I would
love to, And so I went into the session and
then after one session, I was like, oh my god,
(18:22):
like this is amazing, Like I have dopamine hit from
this from hitting It's the truth though.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
So good.
Speaker 5 (18:30):
And then I went to a couple more sessions and
then I was like, holy shit, Like I think like
I could actually make a career. Like I feel like
I was never passionate about anything. I never had anything
that was like mine. I feel like everyone has something,
whether they're good at sports or like they're smart or
they know what they're doing for their career, but I
never felt that I had that, And with boxing, it
(18:51):
felt like it was the first thing that like I
actually enjoyed and that I could stick to.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
So I asked.
Speaker 5 (18:59):
If they did like fight training, and then I kept
going to more sessions, and then I was like, Okay,
like I think I want to be like a professional
boxer or like I want to try. But then I
was like, you can't achieve that if you are doing
this to your body. Yeah, Like if you want to
be an athlete, you cannot be vomiting up your food.
(19:19):
You cannot be missing meals, you can't be under eating,
you can't be damaging your body because like you need
it to perform. So I think boxing was probably the
one thing that helped me the most to recover and
want to actually try and get better.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
And it's honestly like the best thing ever.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Yeah, because I remember I had joined one two Boxing
in July last year or Dune July last year, and
I had become very good friends with one of the
owners called Josh. You've made good friends with like Verity
and all of the other trainers, and like.
Speaker 4 (19:53):
A few girls you got really close.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
With, and you see each other all the time, and
you end up talking and stuff like that, and I
remember you started coming in and obviously because you were
kind of another influencer, I'm obviously gonna know who you are.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
Yeah, and we already knew each other prize.
Speaker 4 (20:07):
Yeah, so I was like, oh, like a connections made.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
And I was speaking to Josh one day and he
was like, yeah, she wants to be a fighter, like
she wants to take this stuff seriously. And I was like,
I just remember like looking at you, was it like
a click for you saying like I now need to
eat for performance. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (20:23):
Yeah, and like, don't get me wrong in the time,
like I've had sloped up so many times, because again,
like it never goes away, but definitely like it has
improved so much. And I think I look at food
as fuel, which is so like cliche, but genuinely, like
everything I eat, I try and think about how it's
gonna make me feel, because like as well, everyone I
(20:44):
feel who has an eating disorder has like trigger foods.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
Yeah, and I try.
Speaker 5 (20:50):
And not stick away from them, but like I know
what will cause a binge and like what won't, So like, yeah,
obviously I want to try and avoid a binge because
it's just not gonna be good. But I think I
have a much bit of view on food, but I
obviously will never go away.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
And I feel like, as well, I know about you.
Speaker 5 (21:07):
But when I used to drink a lot like that
would also trigger my eating disorder a lot because I
would think about how you've got to eat your three
meals a day, or like you've got to eat, but
then you're also going to.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
Drink which has calories in it, you know.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
I talk about this a couple of weeks ago on
the podcast. I always said, like I feel like I'm
at a pretty good place, and like, yeah, there's ebbs and
flows and again you go through the motions of that,
but I always find it really win In a day
that I know I'm drinking, I struggle. I think my
biggest problem is the year, and I struggle to be spontaneous.
(21:42):
That's something because like when you go through recovery, and
no matter if you've ever struggled with eating or if
you haven't, you should be eating three meals a day.
Speaker 4 (21:51):
That's a normal fucking thing to do. And I feel
like it's.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
Gotten normal and every like the way we talk about
things it's normal to like skip stuff and oh yeah,
I was like even today when I just said, I
was like I was at a shoot all day before this.
It's like four o'clock now, and like I should have
eaten breakfast, like and I know all of those things
and like the day can completely get away from you,
but like that is not a good thing.
Speaker 4 (22:15):
I now know I'm in.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
A better place because I'm not rewarding myself that I've
done that. I'm like, you fucked yourself, because I know
I'm also going to go drink tonight and I'm like
I need to eat something before I go out. And
that's how I know that I'm in a better place
than what I was, because I used to like back
in the day, I would have been happy that I've
done this, but it's like, I know I'm going to
feel so shit tomorrow.
Speaker 5 (22:37):
And even going off like this spontaneous thing like say
your plans your day and like you've had your breakfast
and then you've had like a little lunch and then
in the afternoon, like your friends like, let's go for
a drink and I'm like, no, yeah, I'm not going
for a drink. I've been in breakfast and lunch, like
there's no fucking way I'm drinking. Yeah, Like I haven't
fit this into my eating schedule. Yeah, because I'm not
going to eat in the morning lunch if I know
(22:58):
I'm going to drink in the afternoon.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
Yeah, And that's why. But it's like I want to
get to the point and I love the people, and
it's about pushing through that. And then it's like when
I'm like, oh, it is a really nice day, it
is really nice weather, Like, go for the fucking drink.
And when I start to think about the things, and
especially girls that like you struggle with this too, because
a lot of girls messaged me after that episode. It's
(23:21):
like as soon as you have that thought of like
I should, like I haven't fit that into my schedule,
that's when you go and have the drink.
Speaker 4 (23:28):
Not because like you want to go.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
Get pasted off your face, but it's like pushing past
that that have.
Speaker 5 (23:33):
To be comfortable with being uncomfortable. And I think my
biggest thing when I went to therapy was that I
hated the feeling of being full because it made me
feel like I'd gained weight. Yes, and then I just
had to get over the uncomfortableness and yeah, slowly but surely,
like you get comfortable with it. Yeah, and like just
because you feel full, you haven't gained any weight, like baby,
(23:54):
you're just floated. You just had a meal, like it
actually meant to feel full.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
Yes, that's like kind of like the yes. And it's
like literally every time I have like a negative thought
and something that I shouldn't be doing, I have to
counteract that where it's like, oh I don't want that cookie,
I don't need it.
Speaker 4 (24:10):
It's like, no, eat that cookie now.
Speaker 1 (24:12):
Or like it have that Aperol spirits, like it's literally
in Aperol spirits, like and I all, it's so fucking
that I can't actually can't wait for one this afternoon.
But it is the fact of like you have to
counteract everything and you have to push that thought because
you're never gonna overcome it.
Speaker 5 (24:30):
I think as well, like I've had girl like friends
in my life who also had eating disorders, and I
think it was really hard to have people in your
life that expressing and showing their eating disorder and you
can clearly see it while you also have an eating disorder,
because eating disorders.
Speaker 4 (24:48):
Are very competitive.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
Yes, without even words, don't need to be said.
Speaker 5 (24:52):
But like I think having people in your life who
don't struggle with food noise is like so beneficial. Like
even at boxing, like Verity and Zara, I always see
them eating their meals and like I think subconsciously like
that helped me. Knowing that they eat normally and they
(25:13):
have a healthier from what I can see. Not saying
because I don't know if they struggle or not, but
like from what I can see them training and then
also eating like subconsciously helped me.
Speaker 4 (25:27):
You feel like you need to.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
Yeah, yeah, I always said that, Like Easy was one
of the best people to have come in my life
for that reason because she was, like I feel like
past her she'd just get the pasta and then like
sometimes she didn't sick and think it no, and then
she didn't think about like what she wasn't having for
dinner because she had passed for lunch. Like being around
those people who intuitive eat and just like eat because
(25:48):
they need to.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
They're jealous of those people.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Yeah, but it's so good being around that, and it's
refreshing to being around people who always think about it
and speak about it and stuff like that. Like, but
I want.
Speaker 5 (25:59):
To to a point where like I can just intuitively
eat and like you can have like a cookie, but
like you just eat it until you're like satisfied, Like
you don't finish the whole cookie just because like you've
got a whole cookie.
Speaker 4 (26:09):
In front of you. My housemate does it, and it
blows my mind.
Speaker 5 (26:12):
But it's like also sims from your childhood, you know,
like yeah, I was never taught how to intuitively eat,
Like yeah, it was always restrictions around everything.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
Yeah. Mine was like you're finished eating when your plate's empty. Yeah,
And I was like I could have been like exploding
fullness or I still could have been hungry, but like
that's when it was done. And I think that's where
I'm out of, Like I don't know what I crave anymore, no.
Speaker 5 (26:34):
Literally, or like say when you're a kid and you're
hungry and your mom's like, no, you're not, but it's like, yes,
I am, Like I'm fucking hungry, Like can I have
something to eat? No, wait till lunch or like wait
till dinner, And it's like but I'm like you're ignoring
your cues from such a young age that now we're
like adults. How do you navigate back to getting in
tune with your body.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
Yeah, how would you say you are now and where
you are now? And like how it's changed your life
from almost giving into those that toxic pattern.
Speaker 5 (27:05):
Well, I would say food doesn't consume my every thought anymore.
It's still there, but it definitely doesn't take over my
whole life. Like I can genuinely focus on other tasks,
Like I have better relationships with people, I can work,
I can concentrate, I can I actually have hobbies now,
(27:26):
because I feel like I didn't really have that before
because my only hobby was fucking eating food or thinking
about it.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
I think that negatively though.
Speaker 5 (27:36):
I I don't know if you're the same, but obviously
damaging your body for so many years, I'm gonna have
lifelong problems because of it. Like I remember I was
nauseous like every single day for like six years because
I'm like hurting my body. Yeah, and if you're consecutively
(28:00):
doing that, it's going to take literally like ten years
to heal your body from that. Yeah, And you don't
realize because you're like, oh, like I'll just do this once,
like once, it's not.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
Gonna hurt, and then you get addicted to it.
Speaker 5 (28:13):
And you you're over and over and over again, and
before you know, it's been ten years and you've been
doing that to your body. And yeah, without even knowing,
you're damaging everything inside of you.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
Yeah, And I think people don't realize that as like
the internal damages that you're doing to your body.
Speaker 4 (28:30):
It can be like I can't see it, nah, and.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
Just because you can't see it, everyone like kind of
turns a blind eye to it.
Speaker 4 (28:36):
Yeah, but it's.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
Like I still struggle every single day. Like, yes, there's
a big thing of like yeah, physically I'm restored, like
I'm out of healthy weight and everything like that, but
like I still don't get my period regularly. I can't
remember the last time I got it regularly. Like that
means it's probably gonna affect my fertility. What aesthetic?
Speaker 5 (28:55):
Yeah literally, and even like all my bones hurt, like
my joints hurt, right, Yeah, like my I feel like
I've got kidney pains sometimes, like my like everything like
my organs were like screaming for help. Yeah, and like
they don't just get better overnight like that takes like
years of healing this issue. When you have moments where
(29:17):
you slip up again, like you're reversing it again.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
Yeah, So and what would you say that it's like
the biggest thing that helps you day today.
Speaker 5 (29:26):
My biggest thing is, well, I know what I want
to do, so I want to be a professional boxer.
And that's genuinely like the only thing that stops me. Yeah,
because I'm like every time I do it, I'm delaying
the process. Yeah, I'm taking like a step back. So yeah,
I honestly try boxing. You might like it might honestly
help you find a.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
Hobby, find something that you're super super passionate about it.
Speaker 5 (29:49):
And like if you don't know what you want to
try or what your hobby is, go do anything, like
you you could try one thing and it could be start.
Speaker 2 (29:57):
Of your recovery.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
Yeah. But like I've even seen such a flip in you,
like as someone who's followed you for a few years,
Like you have life in your face, Like your skin
is now glowing, Like you you change your full job,
like now you do like you're a boxing coach, and
like now you do like.
Speaker 4 (30:15):
Fight Cam, you like openly get punched in the face
and she's.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
Like it's also me actually so fun do but you.
Speaker 5 (30:21):
Have such a beautiful phase but like that's okay, it's
okay that no, because you just don't ever had like
a black eye or something.
Speaker 4 (30:28):
No, I No, I haven't.
Speaker 5 (30:30):
Actually I'm just too good joking, I'm not too good.
But seriously, you just gotta protect. You just gotta get better,
Like you just gotta get your defense up.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
Nah, like she openly wants to get punched in the
fucking face.
Speaker 5 (30:45):
Well, actually, surprisingly it gets It's worse getting hit in
your body like.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
I had we story. No, seriously, like your body.
Speaker 5 (30:54):
If you hit okay, if you have been a fight,
if you're even a street fight, okay, aim for the
side of their body.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
That is where their liver is.
Speaker 5 (31:02):
If you hit it in the right spot, they're going down. Okay, okay,
likes because.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
I always thought, normally, go for the growing because nine
times I definitely would be punching a man.
Speaker 4 (31:13):
No, go for the liver.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
Go for the balls, and then go for the liver.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
Okay, but twist the balls the perfect big girl.
Speaker 5 (31:22):
But I had sparring maybe, like I think it was
like two months ago, and like the week before I
had like a spiral of my eating disorder and my
sparring partner Elana, He's also my best friend. She got
me in my liver or like no, she got me
right here, and like that's like obviously your stomach is
(31:42):
one small shot. And I had instant tears, and I
was like, this is like absolutely the most fucked up
pain I've ever felt my whole life.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
Probably was because.
Speaker 5 (31:52):
Like I obviously went backwards, but I was like, I like, Sally,
you like can't do this, Like yeah, if you want
to be a professional fighter, someone gonna hit you a
hundred times harder than that, and like you're you're disadvantaging yourself.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
Yeah by doing that, And so what's this whole when's
this professional fight happening? When am I gonna have to
make a poster? And like April, like it's actually like
locked in.
Speaker 5 (32:18):
Yeah, well there's the show is in April, and I'm
ninety nine percent on.
Speaker 1 (32:23):
It, fuck me, broh. And so you have to go
like through fight camp and stuff like that, yeah, like
walk through people. If you guys haven't watched like the
Fite documentaries and stuff on Netflix, like I definitely would
watch it even if you're not even interested in boxing.
The dedication that you have to have to this type
of sport is next fucking level.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
Yeah, and I feel like either level or you hate it.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
Yeah, you have to really fuck but like it's so interesting.
Speaker 5 (32:49):
It is so interesting, and the whole concept of boxing
is hilarious, Like there's a proper technique on how to
hit someone.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
Yeah, like this, like that's like an art.
Speaker 5 (33:00):
When I first started, like I genuinely thought it was
sparring was hilarious because like you're wearing like the head gear,
You've got a fucking guard on.
Speaker 1 (33:06):
Your Yeah, you're growing, you look like a bit of
a sumo fighter.
Speaker 5 (33:10):
I've got a mouth guarden, you've got your gloves on,
and like it's actually I thought it was so funny
and then I got hit in the stomach.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
And I anymore perfect perfect. So run people through what
sparring looks like, and then what a fight camp looks like,
because you'll have to go through that soon.
Speaker 4 (33:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (33:27):
Well, sparring is basically like a fight, but not one
hundred percent power, and it's more you're more learning, Like
it's more technical. It's like it's a fight, but it's
not a fight, and like you don't you can go
one hundred percent, but it's more about helping the other person,
Like you kind of help each other move and whatever,
(33:48):
because working on like a boxing bag is completely different
like a person moving.
Speaker 1 (33:53):
Especially because they don't have arms. It's probably hitting.
Speaker 5 (33:56):
You back literally, but it's actually like crazy because I
don't know about you, but when you did boxing, like
you actually have to be so present.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
Yes, like it is like actually insane.
Speaker 1 (34:06):
And that's the thing is like I always used to
cry in boxing because same there's something about the room
in South Melbourne that just like you just want to
cry and also like.
Speaker 4 (34:16):
You're already dying.
Speaker 5 (34:17):
And then they're like like he's like yelling at you
to keep going, and it's like, oh, well, actually like
I can't, but it's so.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
Good walking in there because it's like you have to
remember all the combos and everything.
Speaker 4 (34:27):
I really need to get back there, but like you need.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
To remember all the combos and everything and what you're
doing that it's like you actually don't.
Speaker 4 (34:33):
It's like the one time where my brain switches off
and I don't think about.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
Anyone else and then for some reason, all these emotions go. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
I think that's because like I'm fighting crying and I'm fighting.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
And you're fighting up and then I'm like punching.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
Oh my god, it's coming out. And then I sat
bowling my eyes out, like the amount of times the
coaches have seen me cry, Oh my god, same, it's diabolic.
Speaker 5 (34:53):
I mean I feel embarrassed because I'm like, you're a
little bit like, yeah, crying.
Speaker 4 (34:57):
Like they're just asking you to do one, two, three, four.
Speaker 1 (34:59):
Five, not asking you.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
Like this is a really hard But.
Speaker 1 (35:05):
I'm like, it's not even hard, but it's I think
it's because it tells you to be so present and.
Speaker 2 (35:13):
Living a new hit so much with an eating disorder,
it's like actually.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
Crazy, Yeah, and because you don't have anything, like there's
actually no capacity to think about anything else. So then
you're present. And then my biggest feet is being present.
So that's probably why I start pulling my eyes out.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
Literally, I'm not used to this.
Speaker 1 (35:30):
Yeah, I would cry at least like once a week there.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (35:35):
Yeah, poor people like today you did I need to
cry today?
Speaker 1 (35:40):
Yeah? Yeah, to go, Yeah, describe to the room. I've
got the keys. Literally walk us into what fight camp
looks like, because that is next level.
Speaker 5 (35:56):
Yeah, fight camp is like eight weeks before your fight.
You obviously are not allowed to drink, You're allowed to
do anything you SPA three times a week. You train
every day. Basically you're on a diet. You either have to.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
This is I think this is where it's going to
fuck me.
Speaker 5 (36:12):
Is where like you obviously in boxing, you have to
fight at a certain weight, so usually you fight two
to three kg's below your walkaround weight, right, So I
think where I'm going to struggle is when I know
what I'm going to fight at to not get carried
away in my head and go lower, you know.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
Yeah, So there's this thing and you guys might have
seen it on like press conferences and stuff with like
Jake Paul's fights. Like I'm just trying to like keep
it relevant to everybody else who's not into it. But
you have to make weight.
Speaker 4 (36:41):
They have to make weight.
Speaker 1 (36:42):
So but you can't be under.
Speaker 5 (36:44):
You can be a little bit under, but like you're
obviously you don't want to because otherwise you lose your strength.
Speaker 1 (36:49):
Yeah, and so the other person has to be the
same weight as the same weight and is it like
did they have a buffering room or not?
Speaker 4 (36:55):
Really?
Speaker 2 (36:55):
Yeah, I think there's a little bit of move around,
but like, honestly, not much. I think maybe five undergrams.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
Okay, maybe that can like what you can do then
is like you have your coach knowing your way, but
you don't know.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
Yeah, and I think as well, like you you have
like a most.
Speaker 5 (37:12):
People get like a dietician as well, so like it's
all done like safely, and you're obviously you have to eat,
like you've got a fight. Like I don't want to
get in the ring and like be helpless and defenseless
and like to the point where like I do have
no energy, Like why did I even do this?
Speaker 4 (37:27):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (37:28):
I always think of like when I think of like
those girls, I'm like leave Toronto and live Kelly.
Speaker 2 (37:32):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
I Like if I ever started in a fucking ring
with them, I would think I would walk in the
other direction. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (37:38):
Do you know who your opponent is?
Speaker 5 (37:40):
You don't find out until like you kind of start
fight camp, right, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
Yeah, I'm so nervous for you, but I'm so excited. No,
don't be nervous, okay, because I was.
Speaker 5 (37:52):
My goal was to fight in November because my coach
has one in November, and he's very much like he
won't he doesn't give comp from and ever because like
boxing is so serious, like they've seen people die inspiring.
Speaker 4 (38:06):
Yeah, like you have to be so careful. It's not
a fun little no way.
Speaker 5 (38:12):
And so like he's he is not going to put
you in there if he doesn't think that you're capable
of like holding yourself.
Speaker 2 (38:18):
So I trust him.
Speaker 1 (38:19):
Yeah, And what he said like you need to hold
off and.
Speaker 5 (38:22):
Yeah, and he literally said, like Sally, like you need
to put on some weight.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
And then he asked me last week what my weight was,
and I said.
Speaker 5 (38:29):
You literally told me to put on way and I have,
but I put on like fucking akg's or something.
Speaker 4 (38:33):
Wow. That's amazing though.
Speaker 1 (38:35):
So now that you've come so far in everything that
you're doing, what would you say to your younger self
a few years.
Speaker 4 (38:42):
Ago when you were in the trenches.
Speaker 5 (38:44):
Literally, I feel like everyone says this, but like it
genuinely does get better. Yeah, Like things will get better
sooner rather than later, no matter how long it takes
you to like go through those trenches.
Speaker 1 (38:57):
I always say, like, you gained a few heroes, and
you gained some weight, but look at what else you've gained.
You've gained life, You've gained friends, You've gained a social life,
Like you get to go out with your friends and
enjoy it. Like you've gained so much more and the
second you try to do it, you'll lose everything, Like
(39:17):
you can lose that at a question like.
Speaker 2 (39:19):
How many things have you skipped?
Speaker 5 (39:21):
Because like I didn't want to eat something, They're like
you know that it's around food or drinks.
Speaker 1 (39:26):
And I always say, like, you would never tell a
little girl that she doesn't deserve that, so never tell
yourself exactly she doesn't deserve.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
I would never tell my little sister that.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
Yeah, not so like, why are you saying that to yourself?
Speaker 2 (39:39):
Because she was my older sister, she would tell me
the same.
Speaker 1 (39:42):
Yeah, And then I always like another thing I always
remind me of myself of is like when you're sixty
years old looking back at memories, you're not gonna sit
there and be like, oh, I'm so glad I didn't
eat that burger out for dinner. You're gonna be like,
oh my gosh, remember that time when I was out
for dinner with all my friends we shared meals and
amazing memorais because I.
Speaker 5 (39:58):
Should be enjoyed, like it's something that like everyone gets
together around food or drinks, like it's like a celebration thing,
Like it shouldn't be like I hate that it's used
for like control or like it's literally a normal fucking thing,
like we have to eat, like you have to eat.
There's bigger problems that we should be worrying about. Ye been,
(40:19):
like oh my god, like I've eaten so much today.
Speaker 1 (40:22):
And what's now since you've been in your recovery journey,
what has been your favorite food now? Like what's your
favorite thing that you're like, fuck this? As if I
didn't eat this for.
Speaker 5 (40:33):
I would say like any type of like burgage, burgers, fries, pizza,
like anything that people consider like unhealthy in moderation, it's
literally fine, Like you can eat a burger however many
times you want, Like.
Speaker 2 (40:49):
There's no fucking problem.
Speaker 5 (40:50):
No, like as long as like you're eating like a
balanced diet and like you're eating enough and you're obviously
not eating a burger three times a day every day
of the week, like you're fine.
Speaker 1 (41:02):
One berg is not going to kill you, no way,
One berger every second day is not going to kill you. No.
Speaker 4 (41:06):
A pizza is not going to kill you. And you're
obsessed with Dubai because you fucking post it everywhere. You
love Dubai Strawberry.
Speaker 1 (41:16):
Yes, I thought that's what you're going to say.
Speaker 5 (41:18):
Yeah, but like I probably would have eaten them, okay, yeah,
but like I wouldn't have eaten like a burger.
Speaker 2 (41:25):
I'd get like a fucking littuce bum.
Speaker 1 (41:28):
Get unless you're fucking Celiac eat it. Yeah, grilleds that's
my death Royal.
Speaker 2 (41:37):
Oh my god, have Greek Street.
Speaker 1 (41:39):
Yeah, fucking street street.
Speaker 2 (41:40):
Getting sugar in your coffee again, syrups like so much better.
Everything is just better.
Speaker 1 (41:47):
Life is better.
Speaker 2 (41:48):
Life is better when you're eating whatever you want.
Speaker 1 (41:55):
Well, thank you so much Stella for coming on hotter
than yesterday.
Speaker 4 (41:58):
I really love chatting.
Speaker 1 (42:00):
I've loved it too, And make sure you guys are
following Stella on all her socials to see her like
get punched in the face.
Speaker 2 (42:05):
Really.
Speaker 1 (42:08):
Locked in, and I'll be at your flight to support
you really big post.
Speaker 4 (42:11):
Of course, I wouldn't miss it for the world. Hopefully
I'm still in.
Speaker 1 (42:14):
The country because you never know with me, just be
gone here, there and everywhere. But thank you so.
Speaker 4 (42:19):
Much for coming on. Really appreciate it, and I'll see
you guys next week.
Before we get into today's episode, a quick content warning.
We'll be talking openly about our personal experiences with eating disorders.
Please take care while listening and skip this episode if
it feels safer for you. And I always say like,
you would never tell a little girl that she doesn't
deserve that, so never tell yourself exactly she doesn't deserve.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
I would never tell my little sister that.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Yeah, but why are you saying that to yourself?
Speaker 3 (00:23):
Hi, guys, welcome back to Hot Than Yesterday and we
have a very very special guest on today's episode. We
have Stella rou Out of a Flaws, Stella Lily Dellicately
Delicate Lily.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
I feel like Stella Lily sounds weird?
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Is me? Is that your last name?
Speaker 4 (00:41):
Lily?
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Yeah? But my first name is actually Stellicate.
Speaker 4 (00:44):
Oh Q.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
I just like always do you know when you know people,
especially off Instagram, Like I always see that used name
when I watch your stuff. So I'm like, that's your name,
like Stella Kate Lily. Yeah, I didn't I think that.
Speaker 4 (00:56):
I thought Lily was your middle name. Oh really?
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Yeah? Because like also can be a first day ye
three first names. Yeah, that's a flex. I would i'd
flex that. But yeah, we have Stella on today's episode.
We met each other a few years ago, didn't we.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Yeah, I would say like two years ago maybe.
Speaker 4 (01:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
We met each other in two at two rungs. Actually
at an event. I'm pretty sure it was the reptile
event that got canceled like on the internet, and we
were like, get us away from all the reptiles, like,
don't go near the reptiles.
Speaker 4 (01:31):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
All I remember is we drank a whole bottle of
this like lemon.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Uzoo, yeah stuff. And do you know why I really
remembered you, guys, is because your teeth were glowing in the.
Speaker 4 (01:42):
Dark, because.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
And that's how I really remember you, because you were like, yeah,
I've got veneers, and that's when I was about like
thinking about getting veneers. So now both our teeth will go, oh.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
My god, we need to go to the club.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
We need to run it back clop. But yeah, today
we have Stellar on today's episode. I don't know if
you guys have followed her on socials. If not, you
should be. I love your content, I like watch it
all the time. But she has been so open about
her journey in boxing, her fitness journey, her eating disorder journey,
(02:15):
and I think we're just all going to dive into
that in a really open chat today. I know a
lot of girls always message me about recovery and getting
yourself out of a slump, and I feel like you
have a really inspiring story that a lot of girls
should hear, So.
Speaker 4 (02:28):
We're gonna I agree.
Speaker 5 (02:29):
And I think it's hard as well to like message
all the girls back because like it's such a deep
topic yeah and talk about, and it's so personal to
each person.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
So I definitely think on this like podcast, I want
to get more people to speak about their journey and
how they came overcame it because I.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
Think it will touch everyone in a different way.
Speaker 5 (02:47):
Definitely, especially girls, Like I don't know one girl that
hasn't struggled with like some type of eating disorder one.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Hundred percent, Especially in like the society that we're living
in is like everything is so like you shouldn't be
able to see yourself. Humans weren't desired to ever look
at themselves, like see what they look like. Like we
were never meant to.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
Know, no, like just meant to have mirrors.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
No.
Speaker 4 (03:10):
I would love that same.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
I would love that, but then again, our jobs are
like taking motos of ourselves, so it is a really
it's a double red sword. But you're originally from New Zealand,
aren't you, So tell us a little bit about how
you grew up, like your background of you.
Speaker 5 (03:25):
Yeah, I'm originally from New Zealand. I lived there basically
my whole life. I would say my childhood was. I
feel like it's hard because I feel like I was
privileged in ways, like I had good school, good education,
like at a house, I always had a roof over
my head, and like all the basic necessities. But I
feel like overall, like I didn't have the best childhood experience.
(03:49):
Like when I look at my upbringing, it's all negative
in my opinion.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
In what way would you say, I would say, I
don't know.
Speaker 5 (03:59):
It's there's so many different layers, and I think that
from like a very early age, even like I experienced bullying,
and then I started with my eating disorder, and then
like my mom's whole life because my mom did social
media when she still does social media, but when I
was younger, she was I don't know, like a New
(04:19):
Zealand mum influencer. Yeah, and she kind of started in
the fitness space. So I think from like a very
young age, I was like.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Influenced negatively, not even negatively because it's probably not the
right way to say, but you I think when you
maybe grow up in that, and I can kind of
relate in that.
Speaker 4 (04:41):
My dad was a.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Pe teacher and I grew up around boys, and it
was very sport related and very performance space, so you
kind of stopped looking at yourself as an individual and
kind of seeing yourself as a physical thing. And how
you look physically is almost how successful.
Speaker 4 (04:56):
You're going to be.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
And maybe because your mum was in front of the
camera all the time, like we experience now, like your
physical appearance is kind of goes on like one how
successful you are going to be, and like how you
determine yourself and your self worth. So growing up like
that from like a young girl would probably be really hard.
And having your mom, like who you look up to,
(05:18):
also being in that scene. Not that she was necessarily
forcing that upon you, it's just kind of innately how
we be.
Speaker 4 (05:25):
Exposed to that as well.
Speaker 5 (05:27):
And like I also feel terrible talking about it sometimes
because I never want to put the blame on her,
because I also understand that she was young because my
mum had me at seventeen, so like she was young,
and obviously I couldn't imagine being like twenty yeah, twenty
five with like a seven year old kid, yeah, or like,
so like I also understand that she would have experienced
(05:49):
what we've experienced as well, yeah, and unintentionally put it.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
And I don't think there was a lot of education
when our parents are raising us about these things and
things that we should be careful with. Like I always
say that our kids of our generation are going to
be so much more woke to these problems because we
really experienced it and we have seen the effects of
social media. So I think our kids are going to
(06:15):
be a lot more educated on it, and hopefully it's
going to be prevented a little bit more because I
think we are the result of like fad diets and
yo yo diets and stuff like that, of how to
get skinny really quickly, because that was like the thing
of the eighties and the nineties, so that just like.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
Rung like a whole new thing.
Speaker 5 (06:35):
I completely forgot about like all the diet things that
like we were exposed to as teenagers.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Exactly, and especially our parents, like that was all that
they were. They grew up on, so they weren't to
know anything else.
Speaker 5 (06:47):
I know, and even growing up in like the whole
Kate Moss, Yeah like that, I feel like it's a
little bit.
Speaker 4 (06:53):
Worse back then as well.
Speaker 5 (06:54):
Yeah, or like I just have in my head like
Yolanda had like telling to like chew a few almonds
and she'll be fine when she's like on the brink
of passing out, and I'm like, just go get a
fucking burger.
Speaker 4 (07:07):
Yeah, and I lot of swear, Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
Please honestly swear all as much as you are. But
so what made you move then to Melbourne?
Speaker 5 (07:15):
I would honestly say I was just like struggling so much.
I'm a big believer in like you can't grow in
an environment.
Speaker 4 (07:22):
That you've outgrown.
Speaker 5 (07:23):
Yeah, so I was just really needing change. I think
New Zealand's very small, everyone's very closed minded, and yeah,
I just really need to get out of that environment
because at the time I was in and out of
hospital A lot and a lot of it was to do.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
With my eating disorder.
Speaker 5 (07:41):
But I think I was very ashamed to like admit
that the problems I was having was because of what
I was doing. Yeah, so I'd go into the hospital
all the time with like intense stomach pains, like I
don't even know what was going on. And then I'd
be thinking that it was like I don't know all
these different ill when deep down I knew it was
(08:01):
because I was like hurting my body every day.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
So when would you say that you're eating disorder started
to become a big part of your life or started
to impact your life.
Speaker 5 (08:11):
I would say, honestly, when I was like twelve years older,
I think, oh shit, yeah, I think I became aware
of it even younger. Like I was never allowed like
at school. You obviously kids have like packets of chips
or like musley bars or like a little treat, and
like I was never allowed that. It was always like
a sandwich, yogatting fruit, and obviously that's great. Like, but
(08:32):
like as a kid, when you're seeing other kids, they
get like a packet of oreos or something like, I
never got that, And so I think when I got that,
like I would consume copious amounts of it. I even
remember we never had any types of like sweet treats
in the house, so I'd eat packets of fondant because
that's all like baking chocolate chips.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
Yeah, because baking chocolate chips.
Speaker 5 (08:56):
Because I'm like, I literally like I don't get it,
So like, yeah, you're obviously gonna overconsume it when you.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Do get it. So you moved over to Melbourne when
you were twenty, and would you say that you're eating
was still pretty bad?
Speaker 4 (09:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (09:07):
I moved to Brisbane first, and I think I got
my own apartment. Yeah, and I feel like it's a blessing,
but it's also like a curse getting your own place
when you're struggling with an eating disorder, because it you
don't have anyone around you.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
That is kind of like holding you accountableity.
Speaker 4 (09:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (09:25):
So i'd say I feel like they come in waves. Yeah,
like it's always up and down.
Speaker 4 (09:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
So you lived in your apartment in Brisbane and you
were alone. How was that all for you?
Speaker 5 (09:37):
Well, I look back and I'm like, holy shit, like
you were so skinny. Yeah, and yeah, I just think
like it was not a good time in my life
and I didn't really do anything about it. I think
that's what's most fucked up about an eating disorder as well,
Like it's you know that it's so bad and like
(09:58):
it's so unhealthy, but like you're so addicted to it.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
At the same time, it's an addiction. It's an addiction
to food, but it's in the opposite way. Also, I
want to give you guys a little bit of a
preface that like we're speaking about our experiences and we're
telling you, guys, this is like the worst time about life,
Like don't be like this, don't know, but where we're
speaking about how Sally got out of the trenches and
how you overcame this because you're way happier how you
(10:23):
are now.
Speaker 5 (10:23):
I would literally you wouldn't. I'd do anything but go
back to that place.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
Yeah, yeah, I hope. So yeah, you look so much happier.
So yeah, how did that all go? And then what
made you come to Melbourne? Like give us the whole
the rundown.
Speaker 5 (10:39):
Well, I actually went from Brisbane to Europe. Yeah, and
then I went traveling there for a little bit and
with one of my exes and then we broke up.
So then I came back to the Gold Coast. I
stayed there for a couple of months and then I decided,
like I need to like go on a solo or
(11:00):
like I need to do something because like I need
to stop relying on people or like always needing someone there.
So I went to Bali for like five weeks or something,
and I think my eating just sort of started getting
worse again, yeah, because like I'm on my own and
I feel like it's always been there, like I've always
maybe like in between, I've had like a couple of
(11:22):
weeks where like I haven't done anything or like it's
been good or like I can eat like.
Speaker 4 (11:25):
Three meals a day and be fine.
Speaker 5 (11:28):
But being in Bali I think was really hard because
being in a foreign country is scary.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Yeah, especially alone when you don't really know anyone.
Speaker 4 (11:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (11:38):
This was in twenty twenty three, and I actually gained
a bit of weight when I was in Bali because
I was just like fucking eating so much food. Yeah,
and yeah, like I was like happy, but like at
the same time, I think it was like a comfort thing.
And then I went to Thailand after that for a
couple of weeks and it just got to a point
where like I was just so homesick that I was
(11:58):
meant to go back to Bali. When I was on
the tarmac trying to go back to Bali. I just
booked a flight that day to go back to New
Zealand to see my family because I was like, oh
my god, like I've been in my own thoughts and
in my brain for like eight weeks, like I like
physically I need some like human interaction.
Speaker 4 (12:14):
Yeah, I can't do this anymore.
Speaker 5 (12:16):
No, And like I didn't put myself out there really
in Bali because I was like I don't want to
go out and drink. I don't want to like I
don't want to talk to anyone, Like I don't know
what I want to do.
Speaker 4 (12:23):
But it's definitely not that.
Speaker 5 (12:25):
And then when I came to Melbourne, I met someone
and my eating disorder kind of got bad again. After
it was like it was bad already, but it just
kind of got worse. And it wasn't until like the
end of last year when I think I was like
the skinniest like I've ever been, and I was like
(12:48):
I literally like can't live.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Like this anymore.
Speaker 5 (12:51):
Yeah, I don't think any amount of therapy could help
me get out of this mindset.
Speaker 4 (12:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
And what was it for you?
Speaker 4 (12:58):
Was it like how you look?
Speaker 1 (13:00):
Is that like the biggest thing was like that the
main driver for you as to why you were doing
this to yourself, is because you wanted to look a
certain way or was it almost a form of punishment.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
I think it was both.
Speaker 5 (13:14):
I think it was equal parts punishment and equal parts
how I wanted to look. But I think as well,
when it gets to how you look, you set like
a weight that you want to get to or how
you want to look, and then you get to that
and you're still not satisfied. Yeah, and so it just
keeps getting worse and worse and worse, and it's just
so hard to ever come out of that.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
Or if it be like happy with how you.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
Look, yeah, and then you probably use that as like
you're like your escape and then also you disassociate in
a way.
Speaker 5 (13:46):
And then when I was also like very unhappy in
my everyday life as well, so it was kind of
like the only thing that gave me a dopamine rush.
Speaker 4 (13:54):
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Yeah, And it's so fucked that our brains are kind
of almost trained to.
Speaker 4 (13:58):
Get like that.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
I know. Oh, it's horrible, and it is such a
toxic cycle. And especially like you were, probably you were
in a relationship at that time that your loved ones
around you also get to a point where they can't
even control you, and it's like they don't want to
say anything because you'll probably get mad at them, You'll
(14:21):
have a goal with them because you are so comfortable
around those people that they don't end up saying anything
and holding you accountable anymore because like they don't want
to upset you. And then they just like almost not
in not to their fault, but they end up validating
those behaviors because they don't know what to say to
you anymore. And then you end up being quite a
difficult person to be around because there's no energy in you.
(14:42):
There's no food in you, so you've got no emotion.
Speaker 5 (14:45):
And even like I look back and I'm like, I
don't know how Like some people didn't even say anything,
Like I remember, like my mom never even said like,
oh my god, like Stella you okay, Like because like
if that was me. Every time I see someone, I
feel like, once you've had an eating disor, it's really
easy to spot someone else that has an eating disorder.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Yes, I say, it's like a sixth sense, it is, yeah.
Speaker 5 (15:07):
And like I always see girls online and everyone's like,
oh my god, like what's your workout routine?
Speaker 4 (15:11):
Like what are you eating?
Speaker 5 (15:12):
And I'm like, babe, look at her stomach. There's absolutely
nothing in there, yea, Like you can just tell that,
like there is no workout routine, there is no meal plan,
there's no what I eat in a day.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
No, because there is nothing there. There's nothing to show you,
there's no content to be able to be contrued, so
a hundred percent and it's just And what do you
think about those type of videos like the what I
eat in the days?
Speaker 5 (15:34):
And I feel like I'm guilty because I have probably
posted one of them when I was struggling, Yeah, and
I lied about what I was eating, Yeah, because like
people were asking me, what are you eating? So I'm
gonna put more than what I eat because I'm not
gonna I don't want you to eat less, yeah, what
I'm eating because I don't want them to have an
(15:55):
eating disorder.
Speaker 4 (15:57):
Which makes it more lack of like subconsciously you know
you're doing the wrong because exactly, Yeah, I feel like
a fraud.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Yeah, I think that the like the eating that what
I eat in the day culture is such a foreign
concept to me because I'm like, no matter what, if
I ate the same thing as you, I'm not going
to here, and especially when they do body checks before it. Oh,
I know you're not doing that for a reason, Like
(16:26):
what it doesn't make any sense to.
Speaker 5 (16:28):
Me neither, But like even like the workout routine and
you can lie, like you can show that you've eaten
all of this, but like you could go and eat
more or like like you literally can't trust what these people,
what people are saying online about what they eat and
what they do.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
So what was the turning point for you?
Speaker 5 (16:48):
The turning point for me would be I would say
the end of last year. I just remember. I specifically
remember the point because it's I was like over the
toilet bowl and I was like, I don't know, I
was like I need to go to therapy or like
(17:08):
I need to get help or something, because.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
Like your quality of life is yeah, like I.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Do want to live, yeah, you know, And then I
went to therapy. I obviously I think a lot of
people have a bad idea of therapy.
Speaker 5 (17:24):
Yeah, And obviously therapy is not going to work after
one session, like it's probably not going to work after
five sessions. But I think that over time, looking back,
like it's definitely helped and influenced my brain slowly.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
To like, yeah, rewire how I think?
Speaker 4 (17:41):
Yeah, But I.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Also think like you need to want to get better
as well.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Yeah, you hit rock bottom and you're like, that's it.
I need help. But I'm going to therapy. And what
did that look like for you?
Speaker 5 (17:53):
Well, honestly, I can't even remember. I feel like a
lot of the lines are very blurred.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
Yeah, And I went to a.
Speaker 5 (18:01):
Couple therapy sessions, and then I think at the time,
I followed a whole bunch of like boxing places, and
one two Boxing reached out to me and asked me
if I wanted to join a class or try a
class out, and I was like, yeah, like I would
love to, And so I went into the session and
then after one session, I was like, oh my god,
(18:22):
like this is amazing, Like I have dopamine hit from
this from hitting It's the truth though.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
So good.
Speaker 5 (18:30):
And then I went to a couple more sessions and
then I was like, holy shit, Like I think like
I could actually make a career. Like I feel like
I was never passionate about anything. I never had anything
that was like mine. I feel like everyone has something,
whether they're good at sports or like they're smart or
they know what they're doing for their career, but I
never felt that I had that, And with boxing, it
(18:51):
felt like it was the first thing that like I
actually enjoyed and that I could stick to.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
So I asked.
Speaker 5 (18:59):
If they did like fight training, and then I kept
going to more sessions, and then I was like, Okay,
like I think I want to be like a professional
boxer or like I want to try. But then I
was like, you can't achieve that if you are doing
this to your body. Yeah, Like if you want to
be an athlete, you cannot be vomiting up your food.
(19:19):
You cannot be missing meals, you can't be under eating,
you can't be damaging your body because like you need
it to perform. So I think boxing was probably the
one thing that helped me the most to recover and
want to actually try and get better.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
And it's honestly like the best thing ever.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Yeah, because I remember I had joined one two Boxing
in July last year or Dune July last year, and
I had become very good friends with one of the
owners called Josh. You've made good friends with like Verity
and all of the other trainers, and like.
Speaker 4 (19:53):
A few girls you got really close.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
With, and you see each other all the time, and
you end up talking and stuff like that, and I
remember you started coming in and obviously because you were
kind of another influencer, I'm obviously gonna know who you are.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
Yeah, and we already knew each other prize.
Speaker 4 (20:07):
Yeah, so I was like, oh, like a connections made.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
And I was speaking to Josh one day and he
was like, yeah, she wants to be a fighter, like
she wants to take this stuff seriously. And I was like,
I just remember like looking at you, was it like
a click for you saying like I now need to
eat for performance. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (20:23):
Yeah, and like, don't get me wrong in the time,
like I've had sloped up so many times, because again,
like it never goes away, but definitely like it has
improved so much. And I think I look at food
as fuel, which is so like cliche, but genuinely, like
everything I eat, I try and think about how it's
gonna make me feel, because like as well, everyone I
(20:44):
feel who has an eating disorder has like trigger foods.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
Yeah, and I try.
Speaker 5 (20:50):
And not stick away from them, but like I know
what will cause a binge and like what won't, So like, yeah,
obviously I want to try and avoid a binge because
it's just not gonna be good. But I think I
have a much bit of view on food, but I
obviously will never go away.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
And I feel like, as well, I know about you.
Speaker 5 (21:07):
But when I used to drink a lot like that
would also trigger my eating disorder a lot because I
would think about how you've got to eat your three
meals a day, or like you've got to eat, but
then you're also going to.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
Drink which has calories in it, you know.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
I talk about this a couple of weeks ago on
the podcast. I always said, like I feel like I'm
at a pretty good place, and like, yeah, there's ebbs and
flows and again you go through the motions of that,
but I always find it really win In a day
that I know I'm drinking, I struggle. I think my
biggest problem is the year, and I struggle to be spontaneous.
(21:42):
That's something because like when you go through recovery, and
no matter if you've ever struggled with eating or if
you haven't, you should be eating three meals a day.
Speaker 4 (21:51):
That's a normal fucking thing to do. And I feel
like it's.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
Gotten normal and every like the way we talk about
things it's normal to like skip stuff and oh yeah,
I was like even today when I just said, I
was like I was at a shoot all day before this.
It's like four o'clock now, and like I should have
eaten breakfast, like and I know all of those things
and like the day can completely get away from you,
but like that is not a good thing.
Speaker 4 (22:15):
I now know I'm in.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
A better place because I'm not rewarding myself that I've
done that. I'm like, you fucked yourself, because I know
I'm also going to go drink tonight and I'm like
I need to eat something before I go out. And
that's how I know that I'm in a better place
than what I was, because I used to like back
in the day, I would have been happy that I've
done this, but it's like, I know I'm going to
feel so shit tomorrow.
Speaker 5 (22:37):
And even going off like this spontaneous thing like say
your plans your day and like you've had your breakfast
and then you've had like a little lunch and then
in the afternoon, like your friends like, let's go for
a drink and I'm like, no, yeah, I'm not going
for a drink. I've been in breakfast and lunch, like
there's no fucking way I'm drinking. Yeah, Like I haven't
fit this into my eating schedule. Yeah, because I'm not
going to eat in the morning lunch if I know
(22:58):
I'm going to drink in the afternoon.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
Yeah, And that's why. But it's like I want to
get to the point and I love the people, and
it's about pushing through that. And then it's like when
I'm like, oh, it is a really nice day, it
is really nice weather, Like, go for the fucking drink.
And when I start to think about the things, and
especially girls that like you struggle with this too, because
a lot of girls messaged me after that episode. It's
(23:21):
like as soon as you have that thought of like
I should, like I haven't fit that into my schedule,
that's when you go and have the drink.
Speaker 4 (23:28):
Not because like you want to go.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
Get pasted off your face, but it's like pushing past
that that have.
Speaker 5 (23:33):
To be comfortable with being uncomfortable. And I think my
biggest thing when I went to therapy was that I
hated the feeling of being full because it made me
feel like I'd gained weight. Yes, and then I just
had to get over the uncomfortableness and yeah, slowly but surely,
like you get comfortable with it. Yeah, and like just
because you feel full, you haven't gained any weight, like baby,
(23:54):
you're just floated. You just had a meal, like it
actually meant to feel full.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
Yes, that's like kind of like the yes. And it's
like literally every time I have like a negative thought
and something that I shouldn't be doing, I have to
counteract that where it's like, oh I don't want that cookie,
I don't need it.
Speaker 4 (24:10):
It's like, no, eat that cookie now.
Speaker 1 (24:12):
Or like it have that Aperol spirits, like it's literally
in Aperol spirits, like and I all, it's so fucking
that I can't actually can't wait for one this afternoon.
But it is the fact of like you have to
counteract everything and you have to push that thought because
you're never gonna overcome it.
Speaker 5 (24:30):
I think as well, like I've had girl like friends
in my life who also had eating disorders, and I
think it was really hard to have people in your
life that expressing and showing their eating disorder and you
can clearly see it while you also have an eating disorder,
because eating disorders.
Speaker 4 (24:48):
Are very competitive.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
Yes, without even words, don't need to be said.
Speaker 5 (24:52):
But like I think having people in your life who
don't struggle with food noise is like so beneficial. Like
even at boxing, like Verity and Zara, I always see
them eating their meals and like I think subconsciously like
that helped me. Knowing that they eat normally and they
(25:13):
have a healthier from what I can see. Not saying
because I don't know if they struggle or not, but
like from what I can see them training and then
also eating like subconsciously helped me.
Speaker 4 (25:27):
You feel like you need to.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
Yeah, yeah, I always said that, Like Easy was one
of the best people to have come in my life
for that reason because she was, like I feel like
past her she'd just get the pasta and then like
sometimes she didn't sick and think it no, and then
she didn't think about like what she wasn't having for
dinner because she had passed for lunch. Like being around
those people who intuitive eat and just like eat because
(25:48):
they need to.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
They're jealous of those people.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Yeah, but it's so good being around that, and it's
refreshing to being around people who always think about it
and speak about it and stuff like that. Like, but
I want.
Speaker 5 (25:59):
To to a point where like I can just intuitively
eat and like you can have like a cookie, but
like you just eat it until you're like satisfied, Like
you don't finish the whole cookie just because like you've
got a whole cookie.
Speaker 4 (26:09):
In front of you. My housemate does it, and it
blows my mind.
Speaker 5 (26:12):
But it's like also sims from your childhood, you know,
like yeah, I was never taught how to intuitively eat,
Like yeah, it was always restrictions around everything.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
Yeah. Mine was like you're finished eating when your plate's empty. Yeah,
And I was like I could have been like exploding
fullness or I still could have been hungry, but like
that's when it was done. And I think that's where
I'm out of, Like I don't know what I crave anymore, no.
Speaker 5 (26:34):
Literally, or like say when you're a kid and you're
hungry and your mom's like, no, you're not, but it's like, yes,
I am, Like I'm fucking hungry, Like can I have
something to eat? No, wait till lunch or like wait
till dinner, And it's like but I'm like you're ignoring
your cues from such a young age that now we're
like adults. How do you navigate back to getting in
tune with your body.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
Yeah, how would you say you are now and where
you are now? And like how it's changed your life
from almost giving into those that toxic pattern.
Speaker 5 (27:05):
Well, I would say food doesn't consume my every thought anymore.
It's still there, but it definitely doesn't take over my
whole life. Like I can genuinely focus on other tasks,
Like I have better relationships with people, I can work,
I can concentrate, I can I actually have hobbies now,
(27:26):
because I feel like I didn't really have that before
because my only hobby was fucking eating food or thinking
about it.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
I think that negatively though.
Speaker 5 (27:36):
I I don't know if you're the same, but obviously
damaging your body for so many years, I'm gonna have
lifelong problems because of it. Like I remember I was
nauseous like every single day for like six years because
I'm like hurting my body. Yeah, and if you're consecutively
(28:00):
doing that, it's going to take literally like ten years
to heal your body from that. Yeah, And you don't
realize because you're like, oh, like I'll just do this once,
like once, it's not.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
Gonna hurt, and then you get addicted to it.
Speaker 5 (28:13):
And you you're over and over and over again, and
before you know, it's been ten years and you've been
doing that to your body. And yeah, without even knowing,
you're damaging everything inside of you.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
Yeah, And I think people don't realize that as like
the internal damages that you're doing to your body.
Speaker 4 (28:30):
It can be like I can't see it, nah, and.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
Just because you can't see it, everyone like kind of
turns a blind eye to it.
Speaker 4 (28:36):
Yeah, but it's.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
Like I still struggle every single day. Like, yes, there's
a big thing of like yeah, physically I'm restored, like
I'm out of healthy weight and everything like that, but
like I still don't get my period regularly. I can't
remember the last time I got it regularly. Like that
means it's probably gonna affect my fertility. What aesthetic?
Speaker 5 (28:55):
Yeah literally, and even like all my bones hurt, like
my joints hurt, right, Yeah, like my I feel like
I've got kidney pains sometimes, like my like everything like
my organs were like screaming for help. Yeah, and like
they don't just get better overnight like that takes like
years of healing this issue. When you have moments where
(29:17):
you slip up again, like you're reversing it again.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
Yeah, So and what would you say that it's like
the biggest thing that helps you day today.
Speaker 5 (29:26):
My biggest thing is, well, I know what I want
to do, so I want to be a professional boxer.
And that's genuinely like the only thing that stops me. Yeah,
because I'm like every time I do it, I'm delaying
the process. Yeah, I'm taking like a step back. So yeah,
I honestly try boxing. You might like it might honestly
help you find a.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
Hobby, find something that you're super super passionate about it.
Speaker 5 (29:49):
And like if you don't know what you want to
try or what your hobby is, go do anything, like
you you could try one thing and it could be start.
Speaker 2 (29:57):
Of your recovery.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
Yeah. But like I've even seen such a flip in you,
like as someone who's followed you for a few years,
Like you have life in your face, Like your skin
is now glowing, Like you you change your full job,
like now you do like you're a boxing coach, and
like now you do like.
Speaker 4 (30:15):
Fight Cam, you like openly get punched in the face
and she's.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
Like it's also me actually so fun do but you.
Speaker 5 (30:21):
Have such a beautiful phase but like that's okay, it's
okay that no, because you just don't ever had like
a black eye or something.
Speaker 4 (30:28):
No, I No, I haven't.
Speaker 5 (30:30):
Actually I'm just too good joking, I'm not too good.
But seriously, you just gotta protect. You just gotta get better,
Like you just gotta get your defense up.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
Nah, like she openly wants to get punched in the
fucking face.
Speaker 5 (30:45):
Well, actually, surprisingly it gets It's worse getting hit in
your body like.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
I had we story. No, seriously, like your body.
Speaker 5 (30:54):
If you hit okay, if you have been a fight,
if you're even a street fight, okay, aim for the
side of their body.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
That is where their liver is.
Speaker 5 (31:02):
If you hit it in the right spot, they're going down. Okay, okay,
likes because.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
I always thought, normally, go for the growing because nine
times I definitely would be punching a man.
Speaker 4 (31:13):
No, go for the liver.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
Go for the balls, and then go for the liver.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
Okay, but twist the balls the perfect big girl.
Speaker 5 (31:22):
But I had sparring maybe, like I think it was
like two months ago, and like the week before I
had like a spiral of my eating disorder and my
sparring partner Elana, He's also my best friend. She got
me in my liver or like no, she got me
right here, and like that's like obviously your stomach is
(31:42):
one small shot. And I had instant tears, and I
was like, this is like absolutely the most fucked up
pain I've ever felt my whole life.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
Probably was because.
Speaker 5 (31:52):
Like I obviously went backwards, but I was like, I like, Sally,
you like can't do this, Like yeah, if you want
to be a professional fighter, someone gonna hit you a
hundred times harder than that, and like you're you're disadvantaging yourself.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
Yeah by doing that, And so what's this whole when's
this professional fight happening? When am I gonna have to
make a poster? And like April, like it's actually like
locked in.
Speaker 5 (32:18):
Yeah, well there's the show is in April, and I'm
ninety nine percent on.
Speaker 1 (32:23):
It, fuck me, broh. And so you have to go
like through fight camp and stuff like that, yeah, like
walk through people. If you guys haven't watched like the
Fite documentaries and stuff on Netflix, like I definitely would
watch it even if you're not even interested in boxing.
The dedication that you have to have to this type
of sport is next fucking level.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
Yeah, and I feel like either level or you hate it.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
Yeah, you have to really fuck but like it's so interesting.
Speaker 5 (32:49):
It is so interesting, and the whole concept of boxing
is hilarious, Like there's a proper technique on how to
hit someone.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
Yeah, like this, like that's like an art.
Speaker 5 (33:00):
When I first started, like I genuinely thought it was
sparring was hilarious because like you're wearing like the head gear,
You've got a fucking guard on.
Speaker 1 (33:06):
Your Yeah, you're growing, you look like a bit of
a sumo fighter.
Speaker 5 (33:10):
I've got a mouth guarden, you've got your gloves on,
and like it's actually I thought it was so funny
and then I got hit in the stomach.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
And I anymore perfect perfect. So run people through what
sparring looks like, and then what a fight camp looks like,
because you'll have to go through that soon.
Speaker 4 (33:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (33:27):
Well, sparring is basically like a fight, but not one
hundred percent power, and it's more you're more learning, Like
it's more technical. It's like it's a fight, but it's
not a fight, and like you don't you can go
one hundred percent, but it's more about helping the other person,
Like you kind of help each other move and whatever,
(33:48):
because working on like a boxing bag is completely different
like a person moving.
Speaker 1 (33:53):
Especially because they don't have arms. It's probably hitting.
Speaker 5 (33:56):
You back literally, but it's actually like crazy because I
don't know about you, but when you did boxing, like
you actually have to be so present.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
Yes, like it is like actually insane.
Speaker 1 (34:06):
And that's the thing is like I always used to
cry in boxing because same there's something about the room
in South Melbourne that just like you just want to
cry and also like.
Speaker 4 (34:16):
You're already dying.
Speaker 5 (34:17):
And then they're like like he's like yelling at you
to keep going, and it's like, oh, well, actually like
I can't, but it's so.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
Good walking in there because it's like you have to
remember all the combos and everything.
Speaker 4 (34:27):
I really need to get back there, but like you need.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
To remember all the combos and everything and what you're
doing that it's like you actually don't.
Speaker 4 (34:33):
It's like the one time where my brain switches off
and I don't think about.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
Anyone else and then for some reason, all these emotions go. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
I think that's because like I'm fighting crying and I'm fighting.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
And you're fighting up and then I'm like punching.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
Oh my god, it's coming out. And then I sat
bowling my eyes out, like the amount of times the
coaches have seen me cry, Oh my god, same, it's diabolic.
Speaker 5 (34:53):
I mean I feel embarrassed because I'm like, you're a
little bit like, yeah, crying.
Speaker 4 (34:57):
Like they're just asking you to do one, two, three, four.
Speaker 1 (34:59):
Five, not asking you.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
Like this is a really hard But.
Speaker 1 (35:05):
I'm like, it's not even hard, but it's I think
it's because it tells you to be so present and.
Speaker 2 (35:13):
Living a new hit so much with an eating disorder,
it's like actually.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
Crazy, Yeah, and because you don't have anything, like there's
actually no capacity to think about anything else. So then
you're present. And then my biggest feet is being present.
So that's probably why I start pulling my eyes out.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
Literally, I'm not used to this.
Speaker 1 (35:30):
Yeah, I would cry at least like once a week there.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (35:35):
Yeah, poor people like today you did I need to
cry today?
Speaker 1 (35:40):
Yeah? Yeah, to go, Yeah, describe to the room. I've
got the keys. Literally walk us into what fight camp
looks like, because that is next level.
Speaker 5 (35:56):
Yeah, fight camp is like eight weeks before your fight.
You obviously are not allowed to drink, You're allowed to
do anything you SPA three times a week. You train
every day. Basically you're on a diet. You either have to.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
This is I think this is where it's going to
fuck me.
Speaker 5 (36:12):
Is where like you obviously in boxing, you have to
fight at a certain weight, so usually you fight two
to three kg's below your walkaround weight, right, So I
think where I'm going to struggle is when I know
what I'm going to fight at to not get carried
away in my head and go lower, you know.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
Yeah, So there's this thing and you guys might have
seen it on like press conferences and stuff with like
Jake Paul's fights. Like I'm just trying to like keep
it relevant to everybody else who's not into it. But
you have to make weight.
Speaker 4 (36:41):
They have to make weight.
Speaker 1 (36:42):
So but you can't be under.
Speaker 5 (36:44):
You can be a little bit under, but like you're
obviously you don't want to because otherwise you lose your strength.
Speaker 1 (36:49):
Yeah, and so the other person has to be the
same weight as the same weight and is it like
did they have a buffering room or not?
Speaker 4 (36:55):
Really?
Speaker 2 (36:55):
Yeah, I think there's a little bit of move around,
but like, honestly, not much. I think maybe five undergrams.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
Okay, maybe that can like what you can do then
is like you have your coach knowing your way, but
you don't know.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
Yeah, and I think as well, like you you have
like a most.
Speaker 5 (37:12):
People get like a dietician as well, so like it's
all done like safely, and you're obviously you have to eat,
like you've got a fight. Like I don't want to
get in the ring and like be helpless and defenseless
and like to the point where like I do have
no energy, Like why did I even do this?
Speaker 4 (37:27):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (37:28):
I always think of like when I think of like
those girls, I'm like leave Toronto and live Kelly.
Speaker 2 (37:32):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
I Like if I ever started in a fucking ring
with them, I would think I would walk in the
other direction. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (37:38):
Do you know who your opponent is?
Speaker 5 (37:40):
You don't find out until like you kind of start
fight camp, right, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
Yeah, I'm so nervous for you, but I'm so excited. No,
don't be nervous, okay, because I was.
Speaker 5 (37:52):
My goal was to fight in November because my coach
has one in November, and he's very much like he
won't he doesn't give comp from and ever because like
boxing is so serious, like they've seen people die inspiring.
Speaker 4 (38:06):
Yeah, like you have to be so careful. It's not
a fun little no way.
Speaker 5 (38:12):
And so like he's he is not going to put
you in there if he doesn't think that you're capable
of like holding yourself.
Speaker 2 (38:18):
So I trust him.
Speaker 1 (38:19):
Yeah, And what he said like you need to hold
off and.
Speaker 5 (38:22):
Yeah, and he literally said, like Sally, like you need
to put on some weight.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
And then he asked me last week what my weight was,
and I said.
Speaker 5 (38:29):
You literally told me to put on way and I have,
but I put on like fucking akg's or something.
Speaker 4 (38:33):
Wow. That's amazing though.
Speaker 1 (38:35):
So now that you've come so far in everything that
you're doing, what would you say to your younger self
a few years.
Speaker 4 (38:42):
Ago when you were in the trenches.
Speaker 5 (38:44):
Literally, I feel like everyone says this, but like it
genuinely does get better. Yeah, Like things will get better
sooner rather than later, no matter how long it takes
you to like go through those trenches.
Speaker 1 (38:57):
I always say, like, you gained a few heroes, and
you gained some weight, but look at what else you've gained.
You've gained life, You've gained friends, You've gained a social life,
Like you get to go out with your friends and
enjoy it. Like you've gained so much more and the
second you try to do it, you'll lose everything, Like
(39:17):
you can lose that at a question like.
Speaker 2 (39:19):
How many things have you skipped?
Speaker 5 (39:21):
Because like I didn't want to eat something, They're like
you know that it's around food or drinks.
Speaker 1 (39:26):
And I always say, like, you would never tell a
little girl that she doesn't deserve that, so never tell
yourself exactly she doesn't deserve.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
I would never tell my little sister that.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
Yeah, not so like, why are you saying that to yourself?
Speaker 2 (39:39):
Because she was my older sister, she would tell me
the same.
Speaker 1 (39:42):
Yeah, And then I always like another thing I always
remind me of myself of is like when you're sixty
years old looking back at memories, you're not gonna sit
there and be like, oh, I'm so glad I didn't
eat that burger out for dinner. You're gonna be like,
oh my gosh, remember that time when I was out
for dinner with all my friends we shared meals and
amazing memorais because I.
Speaker 5 (39:58):
Should be enjoyed, like it's something that like everyone gets
together around food or drinks, like it's like a celebration thing,
Like it shouldn't be like I hate that it's used
for like control or like it's literally a normal fucking thing,
like we have to eat, like you have to eat.
There's bigger problems that we should be worrying about. Ye been,
(40:19):
like oh my god, like I've eaten so much today.
Speaker 1 (40:22):
And what's now since you've been in your recovery journey,
what has been your favorite food now? Like what's your
favorite thing that you're like, fuck this? As if I
didn't eat this for.
Speaker 5 (40:33):
I would say like any type of like burgage, burgers, fries, pizza,
like anything that people consider like unhealthy in moderation, it's
literally fine, Like you can eat a burger however many
times you want, Like.
Speaker 2 (40:49):
There's no fucking problem.
Speaker 5 (40:50):
No, like as long as like you're eating like a
balanced diet and like you're eating enough and you're obviously
not eating a burger three times a day every day
of the week, like you're fine.
Speaker 1 (41:02):
One berg is not going to kill you, no way,
One berger every second day is not going to kill you. No.
Speaker 4 (41:06):
A pizza is not going to kill you. And you're
obsessed with Dubai because you fucking post it everywhere. You
love Dubai Strawberry.
Speaker 1 (41:16):
Yes, I thought that's what you're going to say.
Speaker 5 (41:18):
Yeah, but like I probably would have eaten them, okay, yeah,
but like I wouldn't have eaten like a burger.
Speaker 2 (41:25):
I'd get like a fucking littuce bum.
Speaker 1 (41:28):
Get unless you're fucking Celiac eat it. Yeah, grilleds that's
my death Royal.
Speaker 2 (41:37):
Oh my god, have Greek Street.
Speaker 1 (41:39):
Yeah, fucking street street.
Speaker 2 (41:40):
Getting sugar in your coffee again, syrups like so much better.
Everything is just better.
Speaker 1 (41:47):
Life is better.
Speaker 2 (41:48):
Life is better when you're eating whatever you want.
Speaker 1 (41:55):
Well, thank you so much Stella for coming on hotter
than yesterday.
Speaker 4 (41:58):
I really love chatting.
Speaker 1 (42:00):
I've loved it too, And make sure you guys are
following Stella on all her socials to see her like
get punched in the face.
Speaker 2 (42:05):
Really.
Speaker 1 (42:08):
Locked in, and I'll be at your flight to support
you really big post.
Speaker 4 (42:11):
Of course, I wouldn't miss it for the world. Hopefully
I'm still in.
Speaker 1 (42:14):
The country because you never know with me, just be
gone here, there and everywhere. But thank you so.
Speaker 4 (42:19):
Much for coming on. Really appreciate it, and I'll see
you guys next week.
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