Youngmi Mayer on Korean-American Identity, Generational Trauma, and the Truth About Family

In this episode of Identified, Nabil Ayers talks with Youngmi Mayer—comedian, author, and host of the acclaimed Feeling Asian podcast—about growing up biracial in South Korea, the long shadow of generational trauma, and the unresolvable contradictions that shape our identities.

Youngmi, who was born in Korea to a Korean mother and white American father, opens up about the deep stigma around mixed-race children in Korean society—stories that include institutional rejection and even state violence in recent history. She shares how being “slightly different” in appearance made her feel completely othered, despite speaking Korean fluently and being raised in Korean culture.

The conversation travels through her complex ancestry—including the discovery of Jewish lineage through a 23andMe test that rewrote part of her family history—and the paradox of being descended from both Jewish people and German Nazis. Mayer speaks candidly about intergenerational trauma, including a family legacy shaped by war, loss, and silence, and how these inherited narratives continue to affect how she views success, emotion, and even motherhood.

As a single mother co-parenting her son with her ex-husband, Youngmi reflects on building a version of family that defies tradition. She’s blunt, funny, and brilliant as she challenges romanticized notions of family, while still admitting to the deep, inescapable bonds that tether her to her roots.

This episode is a powerful meditation on biracial identity, cultural belonging, and what it means to both honor and critique the families that raised us.

Host: Nabil Ayers
Guest: Youngmi Mayer
Executive Producer: Kieron Banerji

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