Dealing With Long Distance Relationships

On this episode of Intentional Marriage, co-hosts and married couple – Justin and Cresta Burt – talk about Justin being away on work for the first time in three and a half months, how that’s affecting their relationship and tips and tricks you can use if you have a situation like this.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Being together for three and a half months and then trying to go back to how it was made me feel close to panicking, I was not OK with going back to the way that it was. But it’s been easier this week than I thought it was going to be. I just have to get used to you being gone, things get done when you’re not here, like me chopping my hair off!
• This time we’ve kept ourselves busier than we were before when we didn’t really have anything going on, now we’re busy every night. Our focus has shifted in the last three and a half months and I think that’s a positive thing for us and it’s helped the week-long separation that we have each and every week; we work during the day, get back and have a bite to eat, and then get busy working. Instead of sitting across the desk from you I’m sitting across a computer screen, and while it’s not as nice or enjoyable it’s still a chance to connect and talk with you, even if it is with other people.
• Find out what communication tools you’re going to use, are you going to text, call or video-chat? Find something that works for you, especially when you’ve got kids at home, and you can’t spend four hours on the phone every night. For the person travelling use the time that your partner is busy doing something to get your extra work done.
• Because you are separated by so much it’s easy to lose that connection if you’re not making it intentional, if you’re not doing it on purpose. When you get home, if you’ve lost that connection or touch point and you need to re-engage every time you get home, now you’re spending a day, a day and a half trying to re-engage before leaving again. If you do that enough pretty soon you’re just coming home to a roommate. You’ve got to work on keeping it together, it can be done, it’s just difficult to do and it takes time, practice, messing up and trying something differently. Don’t be afraid to try something and if it doesn’t work try something else.

 

BEST MOMENTS

‘It’s been a change, not good not bad just a change. It opens up some doors for us and makes some other things challenging.’
‘Get your work done while you’re on the road. It’s much better to be fully focused when you get home than be sat on the couch more focussed on your work than your partner.’
‘Text throughout the day, be in constant communication, take your lunch break together and call on the phone. These are really important especially if you’re miles apart.’
‘Think about how you can fill up your partner’s love tank and making them feel that they are important to you, that they are loved, and cared for, it really goes a long way.’

ABOUT THE HOSTS

Justin and Cresta Burt are marriage coaches who specialize in helping couples regain their intimacy inside and outside the bedroom. They share how their Intentional Marriage principles can help couples find their "Happily Ever After."

Though they have a great sense of humor and enjoy making people laugh, Justin and Cresta take their work seriously. They know that marriages can be healed and relationships can be restored when both partners are intentional about making things better.

CONTACT METHOD

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